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Warm_Pineapple9440 Archive

View 1 post and 182 comments by Warm_Pineapple9440 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Inner Game Warm_Pineapple9440/r/seduction28/07/26 11:55 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Thanks for the comment, I actually agree with most of what you wrote. I don't really believe in a rigid, immutable "true self" either. We are constantly shaped by our experiences, relationships and environment. Someone who was cheated on may genuinely become more assertive afterwards, just as someone who wins the lottery may genuinely become more generous or less attached to money. The distinction I was trying to make isn't between an "original self" and a "changed self." It's between being conn…
/r/seduction28/07/26 12:46 PM
4

Most people spend most of their life in relationships rather than pursuing casual sex in my opinion.
/r/seduction17/07/26 01:45 PM
1

I disagree completely. You are the foundation. I propose to be intentional about dating.
/r/seduction06/07/26 08:32 PM
0

But I never said they don't. I said that it is not the most important thing. Why can't people on this subreddit read?
/r/seduction19/05/26 09:03 PM
-1

What does that mean?
/r/seduction19/05/26 08:59 PM
1

Can't you go even layer deeper with the first example? Not fearing rejection because you believe you can get other woman is still bounding your confidence to woman. If you had true self esteem you would be able to not fear rejection even if that means being alone, no?
/r/seduction19/05/26 08:53 PM
2

Sorry but I am little bit confused. Isn't the second thing essentially a manifestation of self esteem?
/r/seduction19/05/26 08:09 PM
0

I never said they do not care about looks. I simply said they care about personality more than about looks. It's not exclusive. I've seen confident charistmatic guys have way more success than the conventionally good looking ones (given they were not charismatic). The only exception being the online dating where obviously you can't really filter out on anything else but looks.
/r/seduction19/05/26 07:57 PM
-1

But how do you know that?
/r/seduction19/05/26 07:26 PM
-2

Personality is highest in all categories in my experience.
/r/seduction19/05/26 06:47 PM
2

That is true, the issue is that for a lot of people going out is stemming from the lack of self acceptance.
/r/seduction19/05/26 11:33 AM
1

What do you mean by that?
/r/seduction14/05/26 09:32 AM
1

Most people are quite traumatized. I am the member of local pickup community and considered to be quite good - i would say a person without any trauma would never get involved with pickup in the first place. I would say true inner work trumps anything in the field, but yes obviously go out meet woman if you want to. This type of inner work has the benefit of making you feel way better than by simply getting the woman. Not to mention you need it to sustain healthy relationships.
/r/seduction13/05/26 10:03 PM
1

While those things you mentioned are amazing, this is still not the real inner work. From my understanding I would recommend couple of therapeutic modalities such as Inner Family system, shadow work or ideal parent figure protocol for healing your attachment.
/r/seduction13/05/26 07:05 PM
1

I have also been running into seemingly woman not having interest in dating me because I am not rushing sex and thus not evoking such a strong emotions. But I think that is a good filter. People who base their relationships mostly on initial emotions and attraction do not usually lead the most stable lifes. How is it going for you so far?
/r/seduction12/05/26 07:52 AM
11

No point forcing yourself to do something just because you think you should. It is okay to reject woman if you do not feel the vibe.
/r/seduction11/05/26 12:11 PM
17

Still don't get it, you did not enjoy yourself on the date, why dwell on something now?
/r/seduction11/05/26 12:03 PM
25

What is the problem? Seems like you did not really connect with her?
/r/seduction11/05/26 11:04 AM
1

Great topic. I've found that pickup itself often does not lead to love but to attachment. This chasing of new woman, exciting moments etc. is nothing else but escape from your own inner pain.
/r/seduction10/05/26 12:19 PM
1

Great post. What did you do to regulate your nervous system?
/r/seduction09/05/26 09:02 AM
25

The approaching a lot of woman might help, but in my experience it is not really the healthy way to get over this. This is an inner game and self esteem issue. You can work on that. Be it by yourself or in therapy.
/r/seduction05/05/26 07:03 PM
2

This is a silly take though. You can engage in conversations without the need for validation. Such as explaining your viewpoint of an argument. But yes, in my experience, the more "whole" I feel the less need for having any sort of arguments and be "right" I have. In general there is just way less desire to be social.
/r/seduction05/05/26 09:44 AM
2

Just because something is normal does not mean it is healthy. We live in a profoundly dysfunctional society.
/r/seduction05/05/26 08:04 AM
1

If you want to, yes.
/r/seduction02/05/26 08:27 PM
1

When you want to.
/r/seduction02/05/26 07:52 PM
1

Sorry, was off the internet so couldn't respond. I think you are not understanding the underlying issue. This is not options issue, this is self esteem issue. You always have option. You have an option to leave. Even when you do not have any new girls lined up or if you know you would struggle to meet someone new (which is a paradox, because if you had the real self esteem, you would not struggle much). The chase is completely unhealthy dynamic as well. No matter the gender. Same as trying to ke…
/r/seduction02/05/26 03:48 PM
1

And that is precisely my point. If you have healthy self esteem you have no need to generate options to be able to walk away. Because you no longer need to be validated and can be alone.
/r/seduction29/04/26 08:46 PM
1

Wanting to get someone to like you is in itself a scarcity approach.
/r/seduction29/04/26 06:38 PM
0

Well, that is the point of the post OP posted. It suggested to escape caring "too much" by texting multiple woman - thus basically "using" them.
/r/seduction29/04/26 02:47 PM
0

Sure, then you don't have to text 20 woman at the same time. You meet one, you get to know her to know if there is connection and if not, you move on. It does not mean you can't meet more at the same time, but do so out of genuine curiosity but not to "use" them to soothe your emotions.
/r/seduction29/04/26 02:44 PM
1

So what is the point of texting all these woman you do not like that much anyways?
/r/seduction29/04/26 02:41 PM
20

Thats not really healthy in my experience. And does not work that much when you meet someone whom you truly like.
/r/seduction29/04/26 12:57 PM
5

I am in a similar transition, dated mostly casually. The relationships I had sort of "just happened" from the casual. Now since I am seeking more of a depth and a long term partnership I changed the approach. I am no longer pushing for intimacy on first dates, I am not trying to escalate or flirt as much, rather I am trying to filter out the woman, get to truly know her, find out her values and all the stuff related to it. Essentially, taking it slow. I am also way more open about who I am than …
/r/seduction25/04/26 09:18 AM
0

And that is precisely the problem I have with pickup community. You avoid vulnerability because you do not consider it being attractive to woman. Thus you are in a way self abonding yourself to get the validation. That is not healthy for your self esteem.
/r/seduction22/04/26 07:04 PM
0

Again, you are seeing vulnerability as something that you do to get her attracted. It's not. You are doing it for yourself and in a way to screen her. Well if you are dating with intention I assume you want to premeditate these dates, at least that's how i view it. I think my point is - if the woman is not important for me enough to carve out some time to get to know her, why go out with her at all? Sorry, I dont know how to quote here.
/r/seduction22/04/26 06:53 PM
0

If you trully want to do that, then it is fine. But many people use it to avoid being vulnerable and to appear desirable. If you want to be efficient there are better ways to screen woman for that. Also I se much better to get a coffee or tea with someone where I can fully be present with them and get to know them rather than to tag them along with some premeditated activity.
/r/seduction22/04/26 06:39 PM
1

You do not have to do that though. You can plan a normal date even if you are not planning on doing that activity yourself. In a way it is just a technique to appear higher value. Which in itself is a sign of a lower value if you think about that.
/r/seduction22/04/26 06:18 PM
3

Neediness is an emotion, not a behaviour. And it is completely fine to feel needy in the moment and even express it. Do not hide that from people. It is the only way to "heal" it.
/r/seduction21/04/26 07:37 PM
7

Hmm, I usually view it from the other perspective. The emotionally and psychologically healthy people, who had a good childhood and are able to build and keep healthy relationships simply pair up fairly quickly and rarely break up, thus their bodycounts never really grow. So having a higher body count is more the effect than the cause.
/r/seduction20/04/26 09:12 AM
1

Don't you want to filter for polyamorous people then?
/r/seduction13/04/26 07:24 PM
1

It is also fair to filter using messages. Depends on what you are looking for though.
/r/seduction13/04/26 06:42 PM
3

But this is exactly the opposite of taking the ego out of the game.
/r/seduction08/04/26 10:43 AM
2

Hey man, thanks for reply. I will have to take some time to think about this and will reply as soon as I have the answer, a bit busy with life now :)
/r/seduction07/04/26 05:53 PM
1

You can also explore why you have high libido in the first place.
/r/seduction07/04/26 05:37 PM
2

Hard disagree with this. If you need to have options in order to maintain a healthy relationship and be non-needy, you are actually needy at the core. This is a self esteem and self love issue, not outer one.
/r/seduction07/04/26 05:30 PM
1

They seek connections to get validated, to soothe their pain, to feel worthy and all the connected stuff. Most of what we call "fun" or "entertainment" as a society is just an attempt to temporary escape inner pain we carry inside.
/r/seduction06/04/26 10:33 PM
3

The second one. But yeah, starting family is also important to me. That is not connected to having a rotation at all though.
/r/seduction06/04/26 09:15 PM
10

So your highest value in your life is having sex? This "ejoyment" thing is very tricky. A lot of people will claim that they do casual sex because it is "fun" but this fun is actually hidden release of validation. The more you work on your self esteem and loving yourself, the less drawn you will be to it. At least from my experience.
/r/seduction06/04/26 09:03 PM
22

Ask yourself what is valuable to you and what do you really want to do with your life. Much of the people who spend time going after woman are doing it just for validation, just to feel loved and worthy. If you felt this right now, what would you do?
/r/seduction06/04/26 08:54 PM
36

You should but not for others. Just for yourself.
/r/seduction06/04/26 08:06 PM
1

I suppose you can, but I find it rarely. By commitment I meant a very healthy, stable relationship with mature and open communication and all the adjecent shit. People who seek excitement commit all the time, yes. But not for the rigth reasons in my opinion.
/r/seduction06/04/26 06:47 PM
3

You do not need to approach other woman to not have one-itis. I would almost claim that this is not the healthies approach to the situation.
/r/seduction04/04/26 08:50 PM
24

I congratulate you for your success and wish you to enjoy it. But I want to point out that just because you had no gf or attention from woman does not mean you were ever a loser. Noone is.
/r/seduction04/04/26 08:49 PM
9

She is not. Start by admitting this to yourself so you can grow.
/r/seduction04/04/26 04:43 PM
16

You say you are not invested but this post says otherwise.
/r/seduction04/04/26 04:34 PM
28

I used to believe that too. Nowadays I am not sure it is the best strategy. The best relationships are calm and dare I say a bit boring, not this rollercoster of emotions. It also depends if you are looking for commitment or excitment. One does not really go with the other in my experinence.
/r/seduction04/04/26 07:20 AM
-2

I don't know about other but I would stay far away from Mystery Method.
/r/seduction03/04/26 01:58 PM
1

Would you mind sharing which inner work modalities worked for you the most? And what about spirituality/meditation?
/r/seduction01/04/26 09:15 PM
2

Did you do any sort of inner work or therapy? I feel like I still tie my self worth to the attractivness of a woman I am dating.
/r/seduction01/04/26 08:59 PM
2

Yea, absolutely. But how does one get to this emotionally. I feel like it would still be a play from my side and i would not truly believe that.
/r/seduction01/04/26 08:48 PM
2

Amazing answer! How does one get to a place to build a healthy connection even with woman we are really interested in? I am actually assuming that if you get into this point, you would not really feel this intense interest in the first place, right?
/r/seduction01/04/26 07:41 PM
1

Well, I know about physical escalation. I am just surprised by holding hands. That feels very relationship-y already!
/r/seduction01/04/26 12:38 PM
1

Is holding hands really common on first dates? I personally do it only with someone I am already in relationship with or at least it is heading in that direction and we have been dating for some time. For me holding hands is bigger deal than having sex.
/r/seduction31/03/26 09:48 PM
2

It is a very subtle thing though. Even if you conscious do not care about what other people think. If you lack self worth and self esteem (which to be fair, vast majority of us do), you will crave these woman not even to show them off to others. But to simply prove to yourself that you are good enough.
/r/seduction31/03/26 12:34 PM
1

The chances of relationship probably not. To have healthy, mature one? Probably quite a bit. I personally like to screen the woman for relationship potential and so it is preferable to hold on sleeping with them so soon.
/r/seduction31/03/26 07:55 AM
1

That is entirely dependent on what you are looking for though. I assume at least some of the guys are looking for a relationship too.
/r/seduction31/03/26 12:12 AM
1

But you know this woman. You've been in a relationship with her for year and a half from my understanding. What is the benefit of having multiple girlfriends over one?
/r/seduction25/03/26 02:58 PM
1

Okay, but if she is so special, why not just be in relationship with her? I am not sure I understand the need to have this complicated arrangement? Don't you think it might be connected to the avoidant behaviour you mentioned before? Either way I would suggest simply being open with her about what you want out of the situation. I don't see the point of playing any sort of "games".
/r/seduction25/03/26 02:50 PM
2

Then I do not understand why would you try to include your ex-girlfriend of all people in such position? And if you want so, why don't you simply ask? btw. Projel jsem tvuj profil a koukam ze jsi Slovak :)
/r/seduction25/03/26 02:16 PM
2

I am not really sure how to read all of this? What kind of relationships do you want to have with this woman?
/r/seduction25/03/26 01:58 PM
56

You are not compatible. Let them go.
/r/seduction24/03/26 10:24 AM
2

I was simply responding to a comment above me about relationships.
/r/seduction24/03/26 08:42 AM
23

I am not sure that is the best approach if you are interested in a healthy, mature relationship.
/r/seduction23/03/26 11:15 PM
5

Yeah, came to same conclusion. But it is very hard to "be yourself" when you have some clear agenda and when your well being depends on the reactions you get from the dates.
/r/seduction23/03/26 08:45 AM
5

In a way authenticity subcommunicates a lot of value.
/r/seduction18/03/26 08:28 PM
2

I do meet many of them. I know everyone thinks there is some external fix - getting success, getting that great body or getting a lot of woman/gf. I am involved in my local pickup community over here and I can clearly see now that we are just bunch of wounded kids inside running around trying to get our fix to feel good enough finally. Personally I am switching my focus to healing this now. Have been studying attachment theory and it resonates quite a lot with what I learnt by observing myself.
/r/seduction10/03/26 08:10 AM
1

Ofcourse, you do not heal validation wound by getting it externally.
/r/seduction10/03/26 08:01 AM
7

But the definition of a situationship is a relationship that is not clearly defined. And usually someone craves for more.
/r/seduction08/03/26 12:56 AM
4

And if she didn't want that, that is a good thing. You were not a match.
/r/seduction08/03/26 12:53 AM
43

Isn't situationship basically leading someone on?
/r/seduction08/03/26 12:26 AM
2

I would argue that a sport in itself can easily become a distraction from inner pain.
/r/seduction07/03/26 04:31 PM
6

I disagree with this take. The need for abundance is a neediness in itself. And I do not mean just abundance in present moment (like dating a lot of girls) but even a general "abundance" (like knowing how to meet woman etc.). Why do you need the woman at all? What is causing all this craving and desire? In my experience it is stemming from deep attachment wounds and the desire to be liked, to be chosen and feel all these good emotions (validation). It is not healthy. A person with healthy self e…
/r/seduction06/03/26 05:32 PM
2

I would even go harder against the premise and I say that this external abundance is not just fragile but quite unhealthy. I saw it in a lot of men.
/r/seduction06/03/26 09:02 AM
1

Because it is not so much about "tachnical game" but about your emotional vibe. And I would beg to differ anyways. Average guy sucks with woman.
/r/seduction04/03/26 08:35 AM
1

But most guys are not dating HOT woman, that was my point. That is what's rare.
/r/seduction03/03/26 10:55 PM
1

Okay, how do you know that you altering your behaviour in some way in order to be more appealing to woman is "being yourself" more?
/r/seduction28/02/26 02:54 PM
1

I mean what is even the point of this question. If you want to lose weight lose it. If you want to date while losing weight, you can do that too. You can attract hot woman even when out of shape.
/r/seduction27/02/26 04:41 PM
319

Well, late 20's and early 40's is a big difference.
/r/seduction26/02/26 09:51 PM
5

Well if she was not your type you did not have to do anything with her?
/r/seduction24/02/26 11:28 PM
4

But that is still you intentionally hurting her no? You know she wants a commitment and you know you do not want it. And you know she will be hurt by you sleeping with her and moving on..
/r/seduction24/02/26 11:02 PM
1

No problem. Feel free to reach out if you need to talk to someone :)
/r/seduction24/02/26 10:39 PM
4

A sort of therapeutic protocol developed to treat attachment disorders.
/r/seduction24/02/26 10:27 PM
7

Check out the Ideal parent figure protocol, that helped me a lot!
/r/seduction24/02/26 10:10 PM
1

Sounds like an insecure attachment style. Have you explored that?
/r/seduction24/02/26 10:08 PM
47

Yeah, it happens quite often. I feel like that partly drove me away from casual dating and casual sex in general.
/r/seduction24/02/26 10:05 PM
1

No, I am simply saying that your average man does not do that good with woman. Thats all.
/r/seduction22/02/26 09:59 AM
19

To be quite honest, from the way you describe her, she does not sound emotionally healthy either. Being "obsessed" with someone is not a good sign for a relationship.
/r/seduction22/02/26 02:25 AM
9

Most guys are not really getting with attractive woman left and right.
/r/seduction20/02/26 01:35 PM
0

Of course it is easier. You crave validation when dating and thus it is harder to hold a "frame". In relationships, you already got the validation from her.
/r/seduction19/02/26 02:35 PM
5

Hmm, I have recently been thinking about this. One thing pickup community teaches is that you should not be pedestalizing woman. Yet, isn't pickup in itself a paradigm where you pedestalize woman? Isn't going multiple times a week to approach woman, to date them, to sleep with them etc. just a massive glorification of woman and sex?
/r/seduction17/02/26 03:46 PM
4

I would argue though that if the woman is in a state where she needs so much attention/validation that you have to text her all the type, she is not really relationship material anyways.
/r/seduction10/02/26 06:12 PM
1

Used to happen to me all the time off online dating.
/r/seduction06/02/26 06:18 PM
1

Because you have a low self esteem and self worth. Thus you crave validation from a woman do gratify your ego. Once you get it, there is no more value to extract from a woman. People on here would call it "loving the game" but in my experience it is lack of self love and self esteem.
/r/seduction04/02/26 03:46 PM
1

Awesome! What style of therapy is it? Can I shoot you a DM? I am not sure if I can share links over on this subreddit. I've always found that a CRAZY statistic as well. Our society is so very numbed out emotionally, I think the amount of people that actually are in touch with love and their heart is super low. But maybe that is more than just attachement. In the end I think attachement is also a spectrum and you can be in different spots at different times and contexts. Yup, I feel like even spl…
/r/seduction29/01/26 09:28 AM
1

Fair and I agree. A lot of books claim 50% of people have secure attachment whilst in my experience it is a lot lot lower. In fact I do not have secure attachment either (FA) and I am meeting an attachment therapist tomorrow for that. In the past I believed your attachment style just defined your relationships and game was a separate thing. However the more I learn about this the more I am coming to conclusions that it deeply impacts your socials skills and ability to even meet woman. Would you …
/r/seduction29/01/26 09:08 AM
1

In my experience, it is very rare that people with truly secure attachment get into pickup. So you can't go hard on people on here.
/r/seduction29/01/26 08:57 AM
1

You really consider "she will be very attached , and so you can afford to let yourself get more attached" a healthy approach to relationships and dating? There is a need for connection to some degree, yes. But connection to self primarly. Not using others as fixes for your own emotional needs.
/r/seduction28/01/26 03:41 PM
1

But your strategy is still of mitigation of fear. Fear of loneliness. Fear of being rejected. Of not being good enough. You need to work on this directly and not substitute it by having woman or letting your girl attach before opening your heart to her.
/r/seduction28/01/26 02:11 PM
0

But you are still ignoring fundemental problem. Why are you not happy alone, why are you still seeking connections (be it relationships, casual dating etc.).
/r/seduction27/01/26 04:20 PM
4

100% agreed. In my experience a healthy person with good sense of self esteem does not need to use others to cover his/hers own loneliness. That shit usually signals a deeper issue. As you said if you get into relationship and remove all the other woman, you are in trouble. Also even when you have rotations, I feel like once in a while there comes woman who is simply superior and will shake you to the bone if your nervous system is ready.
/r/seduction27/01/26 04:17 PM
2

What is your attachment? Would you say you have some wounds that are causing you to pick insecure woman too?
/r/seduction25/01/26 10:41 PM
5

Sure, but then you get them and you are still in an insecure relationship.
/r/seduction25/01/26 09:44 PM
1

Yep, that is my points. I think being good with woman does not make you automatically a good man. A being good man does automatically make you better with woman. I was assuming OP meant by "better man" someone who is better socially however.
/r/seduction18/01/26 10:47 PM
1

I would say more than slightly. But that also depends on you definition of "better man".
/r/seduction18/01/26 10:02 PM
14

The high volume of approaches are usefull for getting over your fears and creating an ability to approach in any setting. And yes, obviously the more people you approach the higher the chance you will meet someone whom you connect with. No different than dating apps. You also do not swipe only on one person. That being said, you should in general be able to see a gradual improvement in the approaches and how receptive the other party is. It is not just about spamming approaches mindlessly but to…
/r/seduction18/01/26 07:33 PM
3

The type of game they are teaching. Integrity. Consciousness.
/r/seduction15/01/26 07:41 PM
8

I did work with multiple coaches. But you need to be able to screen them well which kinda requires you to be somewhat developed. Each coach gave me quite a bit.
/r/seduction15/01/26 07:07 PM
1

Oh I absolutely agree with these benefits. I was more curious about expanding on the motivation side of things.
/r/seduction11/01/26 11:56 AM
1

Thanks for sharing your view. I agree with the benefits. As far as pursuit of going out goes, I think it depends quite a lot on why you do it. I feel like I am as my practice deepens I more interested in the pursuit of connections yes, but not really casual sex as much. It just does not really feel fullfilling and often times it just feels empty and like and escape from myself. Also I feel like I value my time and presence way more and I am not interested spending time with woman who I do not ca…
/r/seduction10/01/26 10:57 PM
1

What action are you refering now to? Simply meditation?
/r/seduction08/01/26 01:14 PM
1

Great post. Personally, I have experienced the more I meditate the less desire to go out and meet woman I have. Do you have same experience?
/r/seduction08/01/26 07:32 AM
1

Depends on your values. Me personally, I would be transparent and end things with her. You are clearly not meeting your expectations.
/r/seduction04/01/26 06:59 PM
3

I am not sure what refering to as social status means in this context. I would highly recommned going out solo for every guy. That is how you learn the most.
/r/seduction02/01/26 09:37 PM
9

That is simply not true. Myself and plenty guys I know do just fine going out solo.
/r/seduction02/01/26 08:41 PM
1

I am not saying they do not care about looks. They just care way less than we do. I know short man, fat man, bald man or just simply not attractive man who date a lot of good looking woman. While below average woman can get sex still relatively easily, they simply do not have the same option. As a woman if you are not physically attractive, you are done. I will never approach such woman and will not give her a "chance". That simply does not happen to men and if you think so, you need to get off …
/r/seduction01/01/26 06:20 PM
5

I have some average looking female friends who do get laid if they want to. But usually the guys are not really impressive, be it looks wise or personality. And actually getting into a relationship? Forget about that, most guys will just use them for sex and not really like them all that much.
/r/seduction01/01/26 06:05 PM
2

But i am not arguing if woman have harder or easier access to men. I am just saying that woman are being judged based on looks way more than guys are.
/r/seduction01/01/26 06:04 PM
3

Big up for the last sentence. I feel like apps are designed to frustrate woman as they are unable to show case what is actually attractive for them.
/r/seduction01/01/26 05:35 PM
3

They are pickier for sex, for sure. But they do not judge them harsher on the looks. Not in my experience at very least. I have met way too many not conventionally good looking guys who do very well. That would not happen for a woman.
/r/seduction01/01/26 05:22 PM
10

Easier getting laid does not mean easier dating life.
/r/seduction01/01/26 04:54 PM
-7

They definitely judge us way less then we do them. Dating apps are not really reflective on how actual dating preferences happen.
/r/seduction01/01/26 04:54 PM
14

Isn't coach supposed to help you with developing yourself? Not really with fixing specific girls.
/r/seduction29/12/25 06:50 PM
3

I would disagree. Yes, when it comes to the bottom of it, it is quite straightforward what you need to do. But coach can accelarate your development quite a bit. If he is good, that is.
/r/seduction29/12/25 06:47 PM
2

I suppose. But why do you “need” to have all this other casual stuff? Have you explored that?
/r/seduction23/12/25 05:07 PM
3

What does it mean to be “slave to mono relationship”?
/r/seduction23/12/25 02:36 PM
8

The mature ones don't care either.
/r/seduction20/12/25 11:24 PM
8

That is great to hear but i would argue that this is still an outer game no? Inner game in my opinion is just a relationship you have towards yourself, essentially your self esteem.
/r/seduction15/12/25 10:01 PM
2

Hey man, Thanks for the contribution. I myself came to the very similiar conclusions. I used to sleep around quite a bit and that made it harder to make connections and build relationships. Thus I stopped after my last relationship fell apart. I actually changed my views on casual sex entirely. I do not think it is as healthy and as "normal" as a current mainstream culture makes it out to be. When you remove the desire for validation, escaping of pain, trying to fit in etc. there is not much "he…
/r/seduction14/12/25 01:35 PM
2

You have to work on your self esteem and a relationship you have towards youself. You will stop seeking external validation after that.
/r/seduction13/12/25 07:52 PM
7

Then what made you create this post? What was the motive behind it. You claim to be burned out, but once pointed out that the lifestyle might not be healthiest you get defensive and claim that you are happy and well.
/r/seduction12/12/25 01:44 PM
1

What do you mean now? Are you confirming or refusing my statement :D
/r/seduction12/12/25 11:00 AM
4

But you are clearly not happy nor fulfilled.
/r/seduction12/12/25 10:05 AM
6

Because you have fallen to a trap a lot of PUAs fall. You never healed your self esteem. And now you can not stop craving the validation and excitement woman give you.
/r/seduction12/12/25 10:05 AM
1

You need emotional intelligence, not empathy.
/r/seduction12/12/25 12:20 AM
83

Yes, I agree. In my experience, the guys who stay in the game very long and hit high body counts must have some underlying issues to keep them going. Which are obviously not gonna be solved by sleeping with more woman.
/r/seduction11/12/25 09:19 PM
1

That does not seem like it is coming from a healthy place at all, man. You are in apathy.
/r/seduction11/12/25 02:01 PM
1

I would say that highly depends on an individual woman. Some may fall for it. But in my experience a woman with high self-esteem and emotional intelligence is gonna see through your little trick. Nonetheless I feel like high self-esteem man would not do this simply due to the fact that he truly does not need a girl to feel good and validated. So why would he play a game at all huh.
/r/seduction11/12/25 01:49 PM
1

Lol, guys who know what they are doing don't need to play these silly games of acting distant.
/r/seduction11/12/25 01:07 PM
2

I would recommend meditation. Ground yourself in other things than external victories. Not to say you can not pursue these things, but it should be coming from healthier place.
/r/seduction09/12/25 09:18 PM
9

Yeah, I would say close to 100 must have been my record - but I was not approaching just woman, but anyone interesting to build up the momentum. Also as you get better it should be harder and harder to approach a lot of people simply due to the fact that you are going to have longer interactions, insta dates etc. Like I remember last summer once I got a little better already, I would be out for like 2 hours and maybe had 3 approaches since I just spent a lot of times with the girls/people I appr…
/r/seduction09/12/25 04:50 PM
1

I would highly advise against drinking alcohol. It is tempting in the moment but you can get easily stuck on it (that is what happened to me). Learn to be present with your anxiety while you feel it. It will start dissolving with time.
/r/seduction08/12/25 08:45 AM
12

Yeah, well, dating avoidants or insecure (and unaware) attachment types is general is quite painful. I feel like there is no point in adjusting your behaviour to suit her trauma better.
/r/seduction07/12/25 09:16 PM
3

I am not sure what OP meant by behavior here so that is why I asked. But if I understood correctly he tried to differentiate between PUA scripts (such as mystery method) and focus on more general behavior concepts such as self amusment, demonstrating high value etc. That is a better approach still but I find it quite limiting and not really congruent in many times. And many guys can get stuck in it. In my personal opinion it is all about the place it is coming from. Not really about what you "do…
/r/seduction06/12/25 11:05 PM
5

I would even say that learning behaviour is not the best approach either. Of course, depends on what do you mean by these behaviours?
/r/seduction06/12/25 09:13 PM
0

That is fair and I missed the initial paragraph (went straight to FR). Though my advice still applies. It actually makes it a more difficult to switch paradigm once you start getting some success with it.
/r/seduction06/12/25 12:43 PM
8

Hey man, It is great seeing that you are putting a lot of effort into meeting people. But I would warn against using so much technique. It is going to develop into a crutch of yours and is gonna make it very hard to develop real self esteem.
/r/seduction06/12/25 12:17 PM
2

Have you considered talking about this to her?
/r/seduction02/12/25 01:09 AM
0

You can only heal yourself into self esteem. If you are rellying on it externally, it is just narcissism. And that is quite dangerous for you.
/r/seduction27/11/25 08:50 PM
11

They do not matter enough for you to inject botox in your face lol.
/r/seduction25/11/25 05:31 PM
9

Jesus, we are promoting botox even on this sub now?
/r/seduction25/11/25 05:22 PM
1

This depends on you and your values. What kind of a person do YOU want to be?
/r/seduction24/11/25 08:43 PM
1

Why? You asked about dates not sex. I don't really do casual sex and I haven't been approaching since the end of summer anyways.
/r/seduction22/11/25 11:57 AM
1

Well you asked for my experience and when I shared it you dismissed it. Idk what the point of this post is then.
/r/seduction22/11/25 11:44 AM
2

Sleeping w someone and going on date is a very different thing though.
/r/seduction22/11/25 11:38 AM
1

hmmm, it is hard to estimate it like this because I often forget how many girls I actually approach and it fluctuates obviously. Also often I get a number and never reach out. But overall I would say it is around every 5th girl willing to go on a date w me. Not sure how to count insta dates into this though.
/r/seduction22/11/25 09:48 AM
1

Yes, I am serious. Any guy who has female friends or dated at least couple of girls knows that it is way more riskier for woman to meet up with someone from online. But again, what is the difference between meeting up for drinks and meeting up for mini golf. It's not like mini golf is gonna be in some remote area where you two are alone.
/r/seduction14/11/25 06:01 PM
1

I mean, as long as you meet in public space, you do not have to worry about personal safety (especially since OP is a guy). I myself also prefer low investment dates from online sources, though if your vetting is strong enough, you should not be worrying.
/r/seduction14/11/25 05:53 PM
8

OP, I do not think you should be following any "rules" regarding this. The most important question is: What do YOU want to do?
/r/seduction14/11/25 05:50 PM
1

But meeting for drinks is also spending time with her :D
/r/seduction14/11/25 05:46 PM
38

1) Beginnings and endings matter. The first 5 seconds and the last 5 seconds determine more than 5 hours in between. -> Definitely disagree. It takes time to show her your real personality. Anyone can be confident for 5 seconds.
/r/seduction10/11/25 08:03 PM
6

She wants to know if you are open to it. If I would be looking for LTR I would ask the same.
/r/seduction10/11/25 07:57 PM
1

Yeah, I meant taking a radical approach for couple of days and then just build consistency. Not leaving it totally.
/r/seduction10/11/25 06:58 PM
1

Yeah, but I would recommend taking a some time off for couple of days and just go absolutely crazy for once in your life. Not just approaching woman but approaching everyone and every situation go completely destroy all limiting beliefs.
/r/seduction10/11/25 06:07 PM
2

Supporting this. You can do 300 approaches over the weekend if you lean real heavy into it. Obviously once you get better you should not be able to do this simply due to your interactions being longer and you having insta dates and what not.
/r/seduction10/11/25 05:46 PM
9

In my experience, muscles and body are not all that important with regards to attracting woman.
/r/seduction10/11/25 02:20 PM
2

That part lives in all of us. I struggle with the same thing :) I am also past breakup and have proactively decided to remove any contact with woman to not jump into validation as a distraction. Meaning I dont go on dates, I dont approach woman, I dont use dating app and not even social media. Only thing I do is work (but might take couple of days off) and workout and meditate to keep the routine going. But most of my time is spent on reflecting the breakup and feeling the things through. Often …
/r/seduction10/11/25 02:11 PM
1

That is fair. But be conscious about the true motivation for such things and what does "myself" mean in this regard. You can easily mistake wanting something for yourself with wanting to be validated by living up to others expectations and trying to "enhance" yourself in your own eyes.
/r/seduction10/11/25 02:02 PM
1

Why do you feel like you can't lift the foot off the gas? What would happen then?
/r/seduction10/11/25 01:59 PM
2

You can easily use "grind" to escape yourself just as you can use woman for that. Be alone, truly alone. Sit with yourself and with your pain. There is a possibility that once you learn to be truly with yourself, you might not seek validation from woman. But everyone is unique and has unique motivation for such things. That's just what happened to me and some of my guy friends.
/r/seduction10/11/25 01:50 PM
2

Now is not the time to get back into dating brother. Now is the time to be alone, not distract yourself and process all the emotions from the breakup. You overcome this breakup by leaning into your pain and into the hurt it is causing you. If you use this wisely you might use this breakup to power up your self development. And maybe you won't even need a roster after that;)
/r/seduction10/11/25 01:39 PM
1

Differs, but i would say 2-3 hours on average. I also did often hop with them from bar to bar. I would just ask if they want to have one drink at the end of the night at my place.
/r/seduction10/11/25 01:08 PM
10

I think I slept with around 40 woman of whom good 20-25 might have been on first date. To be honest I did not feel like there was anything "special" I did to get this outcome. Usually we just clicked more with the woman I hooked up with and this lead to a faster intimacy. What helped me a lot was great logistics (date being in a bar next to my place) and also not putting any pressure on the woman.
/r/seduction10/11/25 12:41 PM
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