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WellThisSix Archive

View 4 posts and 103 comments by WellThisSix on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

My ex wife also has BPD, and does little to nothing to regulate it. She runs in this same MO. Weeks after I made it clear I wanted a divorce and left, because she wouldn't, she moved another guy in the house and publicly made themselves "in a relationship" across social media. It was gross. I know that they fell apart already, though I keep up with neither of them. I've been no contact for nearly 8 months now, and she still messages me EVERY DAY with some form of hate, lovebomb, or crocodile tea…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 01:28 PM
1

I remember rediscovering that freedom after divorce. Good on you mate
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:55 PM
0

Incorrect, if there is any kind of abuse or violence then leave immediatley. If the home was pre-marital property, then you can likley also leave and have the courts evict her later. As with anything in divorce or relationships, it is not all black and white, consult a good lawyer and get your best options.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 05:18 PM
1

I went the hobby route. Ive been doing fire shows with some old friends, hadnt gone hard on that since my mid twenties so it has felt good to reconnect. I also paint and play with my toy soldiers, warhammer stuff, its allowed me a sober and fun place to meet some new people and It can easily fill DAYS just working on building stuff for it. I got my two turntables and am teaching myself to DJ vinyl records. Oh, and dogs. The dogs are clutch.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 01:12 PM
7

I used to think I didnt have a problem because I only drank at the bar, and 1-2 nights a week, if that. Problem was, I was drinking A LOT when I drank and making some pretty stupud decisions. Staying away from alcohol has changed my life.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 02:35 PM
3

Only gets better from here, or say they say. Proud of you brother, stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 02:15 AM
2

Yeah, the stigma even makes it hard to admit to yourself that abuse is occuring. As part of the DVRO they give you a little packet of resource pamphlets, all of them were womens shelters or groups geared towards helping women overcome violence. I am pretty resourceful and didnt need them(arguable), but I couldnt help but to notice that.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 10:09 PM
2

One of the hardest things I am dealing with, is people wanting to bash and talk shit about my stbex wife. She is also diagnosed BPD, and she has effectivley pissed off everyone she knows; her family, my family, her friends, "our" friends. Look, i get it, she is crazy, thats a big part of why i am getting out. And I get everyones glad Im not with her anymore. But I dont want to sit here and 'celebrate' what is turning out to be a fucking painful, embarrasing, ane totally awful experience by bring…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 07:14 PM
2

I do appreciate you understanding that there is literal mental illness involved. And you are right. Ive discussed that in length with my sister, and my therapist, that I do have a problem with boundaries, and not enforcing them. Im working on it, thats why this last time, I finally did what Ive told her I would do everytime she said "it wont happen again"
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 08:09 AM
2

Hell yeah. Tonight has steeled my resolve
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 07:46 AM
2

Oh dont worry I couldnt feel any worse :) But for real, I hear you. Had the script flipped they would have booked and cuffed me. Just as if I had done half the shit she had in this relationship it would likley already be over. This post, sadly, only covers major events of the last three years regarding her cheating. There are more horror stories that Ill probably eventually tell. Not to trauma dump too much, but this isnt even the first time weve had a run in with the law because of her tantrums…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 09:27 PM
1

Well when you put it like that.... Edit: I read the original comment and it was more accurate
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 09:13 PM
2

Thanks for the well wishes. Its going to work this time. There really isnt another option at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 06:40 PM
1

Glad it helped lol, ngl it did help me a bit to get it all in written words.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 06:39 PM
2

God damn do I wish it was just a movie. That way I could turn it off and get on with my life.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 06:39 PM
1

My wife was diagnosed with BPD. Trust me bro, you arent crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 04:47 PM
6

To be fair a i was actually by the beach, we lived on the coast (i PROVIDED for this bitch) But i also found the humor in calling sitting by the inlet, by the river.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 06:56 AM
3

Yeah I totes feel as if I could be a cautionary tale.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 12:06 AM
6

Heard
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 11:11 PM
3

Sister: You okay? Me: lol no! :)
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 10:58 PM
2

It should have been, but she kept pulling me back in with more drama and emergencies. Im out now. This was mostly me just trying to be as honest as I could about the situation that got me here.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 10:57 PM
3

Yeah, we are 10 years married. Fucking waste that was. I guess I did learn some shit, and get my life outside this nonsense mostly together in that time.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 10:54 PM
3

Fuckin deal.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 10:16 PM
4

Yeah, Ive realised it. My bro told me I sound like an addict when I talk about her. Hes right.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 10:02 PM
4

Virginia
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 10:01 PM
3

Thanks, yeah its going to be crazy for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 10:01 PM
4

Totally fair.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 10:00 PM
4

Fuckin right. Not the first time I have implied, myself, that I should go on their show.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 08:04 PM
3

Thanks for the confirmation. She says some mean and sad things that make me doubt myself, I need to get out though.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 07:54 PM
3

Staying as sober as possible was important to me. Im not generally a sober person and have no intentions to stay that way, but it is impossible to get better while at the bottom of a bottle.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 02:17 PM
3

I even tried to reconcile out of some stupid sense of honor or duty or wtfever (im over that shit now) but could never bring myself to see her in any way but a liar and a cheater. Yeah, she became disgusting to me.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 01:38 PM
7

Post-nuptial agreements are a real thing. Def go this route if you are ever thinking of reconciliation with a spouse whos betrayed you. But lets be very real, if the trust is so gone that you are going down this route then the relationship is already broken. Thing about people with BPD in my experience, is that they WILL betray you again as soon as they think they can get away with it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 08:13 PM
4

If you take nothing else here take this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 02:38 PM
4

"Why do all my relationships end up like this!?" Right there with you buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 02:34 PM
5

I do also think it's odd for support communities and communities centered around "being there" for people going through something tough to participate.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 01:38 PM
4

Tbf I've heard this advice given to women in his shoes.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 02:04 PM
4

My best days start by me saying, "Okay, Im just going to get out of bed and get a shower. Then I'll go from there" Sometimes I get on a roll and spiral it into a project, or work and have a productive day. Other days the peak of the day is walking to the mailbox. Just one day at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 02:31 AM
5

Is the car in YOUR name? Was it premarital? Could she afford the car on her own? All of these things will be considered in court. Now ianal, but based off what my lawyer advised me: Ultimatley, if it's your vehicle, you have a right to holding onto it until the court says otherwise. And would be smart to do so. She doesn't have a right to having personal transportation. She just feels entitled to it, so no it will not necessarily hurt you in court.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 01:34 PM
8

She got mad and wrecked it. Despite what she says, her other behaviours make me believe it was totally on purpose. So yes.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 01:12 PM
3

I don't know yet. It's Monday so most of friends are all still working and haven't been able to connect. No trying to spill my business to all of them in the process. They approved the DVRO but I have no idea when it will be served.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 09:58 PM
3

No. This is the first relationship I've had that has been this way.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 09:51 PM
2

We are in North Carolina, and I don't know what to tell you because they def didn't arrest her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 09:46 PM
1

There is a part of me that is genuinely upset that I feel fear calling the cops or getting help over this, because I know that fact
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 09:03 PM
7

I have an attorney I've been talking with since November. Wasn't sure I was going to move forward but I am now. I just filed the DVRO and am waiting at clerk for response from Judge. If approved the DVRO will require her to move out and sieze her firearm. I need to realize that this is my story now, and move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 08:55 PM
5

Yeah. This is what I need to internalize that is eating me up the hardest. Why the hell is how this will effect her eating me up inside while I'm filing the protective order.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 08:42 PM
1

They didn't though so?
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 08:41 PM
2

Thanks. Yeah I do follow that sub as well. A couple friends/family have armchair diagnosed her behaviors in the past as Narcissitic or BPD. I've done ALOT of reading on the subject and am inclined to agree. Likley though, I have my own issues and behaviors that could match the category too, I'm trying to be better.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 08:40 PM
16

I just filed the DVRO. This is the straw, thanks for the encouragement m8
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 08:37 PM
-4

I don't know what she said to the cops. I know they took a look at the firearm after they arrived because they brought it outside. They kept us mostly separated after they arrived. I asked the cop "what about the gun?" And all he told me is they are working on that. Technically it is registered to her, so I couldn't just take it with me. I'm honestly worried she might hurt herself is she has it. Ecspecially with all this drama, and her having no phone now and being in a persistent state of emoti…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 08:29 PM
4

I just submitted the paperwork at the clerks office for a DVRO. Why do I feel like shit about it?! Why am I worried what will happen to her?! Why do I just want to be able to check and make sure she's okay. I really need to see a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 08:19 PM
-2

I'm still sitting here fighting with myself about it. I know it's not, all things considerd, but it feels like an extreme measure and it's hard to do.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 07:42 PM
1

Ngl had that thought as I called the cops. But with her threats of violence, actual violence in the past, and history of suicide threats, I decided that it was probably the right thing to do either way. I honestly am feeling like a piece of shit right now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 07:09 PM
5

Heard loud and clear
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 06:59 PM
5

I'm sitting at the courteous now, about to go in and file a restraining order. Please tell me I'm doing the right thing because this is breaking me down. I'm having trouble getting the courage to walk in. Also planning on hitting up the codependent anon group in the next town over tonight as my sister says I should.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 06:56 PM
2

"Self Defense is a valid defense to the offense of Assault by Pointing a Gun." Which is what she is claiming, even if it's bullshit, that's why it comes down to he said/she said.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 06:53 PM
3

Fuck me right? We are in early thirties. No kids. Have been together for nearly 10 years, married since 2018. Always had on/off problems. More on when I reflect back on things. The cheating was probably going on for longer, but just found out this last year.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 06:46 PM
7

Well I thought so to. But as the cop said, "She said she was scared and has the right to defend herself" My whole situation is fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 06:45 PM
12

Dude I know, im the fool. A big part of my current emotional wreck is coming to terms with that. I'm def having some codependency issues on my own. Part of me was hoping each time she said she'd change she actually would.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 06:44 PM
2

No evidence of physical violence. Becomes a he said she said. And she said she was scared of me. Cop basically told me there's no charges they can file.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 06:33 PM
16

This is the third time they have responded because of her. The first time when she busted my face into the steering wheel and broke my nose the cop told me I should leave, because "crazy doesnt change". Second time was because she was screaming suicide and a family member who I was on the phone with heard it and went yo magistrate to commit her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 06:21 PM
5

This is so true. My stbex asked for a Divorce first. I wasn't blindsided because we were constantly bickering, but it still stung. So I went to lawyer and started the process, after all its what she said she wanted. Turns out it's not what she wanted and she went full psycho on me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 04:49 PM
5

Yeah, if I hadn't recorded my stbex on camera making threats of filing false domestic violence charges to get her way, I'd be way more worried.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 05:44 PM
1

Use the wifi somewhere publicly, VPN preffered, and start posting stuff for sale on Craigslist with his contact info. Don't go crazy, only use one form of contact at a time. That way you can stretch this torture out for as long as it's fun for you. Make sure its a believably good deal on an item people want, so he gets as many inquiries as possible. Sure to inconvenience him somewhat. Petty as duck.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 10:25 PM
1

Intended with the utmost respect, you seem to have navigated or are navigating this situation very well.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 10:22 PM
1

This part does hurt.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 10:19 PM
1

Brooooo
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 04:42 PM
3

Bro kids first, don't involve them in your beef with her. Let her have some time with the kiddo.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 03:17 PM
2

I keep hearing that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 10:12 PM
3

Dude I feel for you. I don't have any good advice or anything, just relatable events. Not to hijack your post but wanted to share a little experience of my own so you know your not totally alone in this chaos. When I first made it clear to my wife that I was done, she went full on. I left when she started threatening me and breaking anything she could get her hands on. Shortly after i left the phone calls of all kinds of crazy things started. I made it clear to her that i wasnt taking any more c…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 07:56 PM
2

Recent lash-outs have been especially brutal. I feel very isolated, and thoughts of suicide have crossed my mind. I'm good; I'm safe. However, this has been a wake-up call, not just to keep my head down and trod along as I have been for years. I need to get out. I will be speaking to a lawyer within the week. I just paid the retaining fee yesterday. I need this wake up call. But getting hit with the love bombs right afterwards from her, like she did nothing wrong in the things she said or did, a…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 07:43 PM
2

It does seem that dealing with narcissisim is a common theme here.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 03:13 PM
3

My stbex is one of these women you speak of. Fuck it makes me cringe everytime I see one of these "memes"
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 03:10 PM
3

Well, as always, you need a lawyer first. Your lawyer will fight to get a reasonable outcome for you and negotiate an agreement that can work. All that out the way, AFTER it's all said and done, and the house is yours alone, sell that bitch and get yourself something affordable. Move a bit if you need to. At that point you will basically be free, kids considered. She's taking care of the labor intensive part of the process for you, let her. This sucks my dude. I know. There is no way around that…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 10:06 PM
1

Holy moley dude thank you for sharing. I've read this like 100 times over like it's some sort of self help manta.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 01:57 PM
1

Holy moly dude. Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/22 03:03 PM
1

Yeah I've learned.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/22 02:23 AM
2

True. And its so easy to keep telling myself that I'll get through this project at work then do it. Or find a million other excuses. In the end I'm only hurting myself more by waiting, and I know this. I kinda relate the feeling I get about it to my own mental health issues like the action paralysis that I get when my ADHD slaps hard. I just go to do it, and find I literally can't. And then I run out of time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/22 12:00 AM
1

Dang dude. We are at year 5, so I guess I count my blessings that I caught it this early. Keep strong bro.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 11:54 PM
1

Yeah, I have spoken to an attorney, and know I need to get the ball rolling. It just gets me because she will be angry and asking for a divorce herself, and not even hours later she turns into this crying wreck over how sorry she is and she wants to fix it. This is a cycle we have been repeating for....well long enough for it to be a clearly defined cycle. We have been to couples counseling, she quit when the counseler refused to side with her and called her on some BS About a month ago I starte…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 11:30 PM
1

Fuck me, right?!
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 11:21 PM
2

My sister firmly believes she is BPD. There's never been a diagnoses, but many of the behaviors that have come to surface a very much in line. Yeah, I do need to just do it. Feels like it's a terrible time with work and all, but I guess there will never be a time that feels good for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 10:19 PM
7

Fuck. Shit hurts.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 08:25 PM
2

Heard.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 08:14 PM
2

Yeah, I keep getting told that is the right thing to do. To file that I would have to go down to the magistrates office and fill out a form and stuff. Been down that road before. I have a hard time bringing myself to do that though, my non-confrontational nature. Though I do get the point that if she did do something crazy I would have wished I had.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 08:10 PM
0

I have to be honest here. There hasn't been much physical violence in a little over a year now. Which is great! The emotional and verbal though, it never went away.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 11:13 PM
2

Fuck dude. Yeah.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 07:28 PM
1

It is a single party consent state.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 04:24 PM
1

No children so that's good, and yes, divorce mode is what I need to do but I'm so ADHD I'm having a hard time doing it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 04:23 PM
1

Hahaha. Yes. Its going to get worse before it gets better I'm sure.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 04:22 PM
1

Thank you for the recommendation. Yeah I have read alot about narcissisim and BPD over the past few months per recommendation from my older sister(we bffs) who believes we grew up raised by them, and that my wife is one too. TBH the more I learn the more it feels like that's exactly what's happening. I'm no doctor though so I can't diagnose anyone and don't want to even pretend to, so it's hella tough to talk about. I often feel some of the stories I tell about things that have happend sound so …
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 04:02 PM
2

Haha no worries, to be honest it's just feels good to get some of these thoughts and feelings off my chest. Not too much shopping advice or sympathy. Just sort of openly admitting I have a problem.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 03:55 PM
2

Wow. Yeah, my wife is totally capable of attempting the same thing, hell she has threatened it in the past when she was having a tantrum, I can't even remember what over anymore. I'm sorry dude. That shit sucks. This is gonna suck.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 03:52 PM
1

Yeah. This all started when I first caught her cheating. I sat her down and told her I couldn't accept it and think we needed a break, I then went on a previously panned camping trip that turned into me staying in the camper for a month and still working just not coming home for a while. She went mostly psycho on me for the first week. Tried to track me down, showed up at people's(best friend, mom) houses in the night banging on the door trying to find me, suicide threats, threatened to kill our…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 03:09 PM
1

I don't. We brought her to the hospital and told them it was an accident. I do have the one of when she broke my nose by grabbing my hair and smashing my face into the steering wheel while I was driving home one night. I did a stupid thing and pulled over on the highway and told her to walk home. I kicked her out of the car but I immediatley felt bad after making it just up the road and turned around and came back. Someone saw the interaction i guess, we were on the side of a highway, and a cop …
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 02:59 PM
1

Yeah, that's what my Mom said, she is so incredibly letigous though. I always have to take her advice with a grain of salt because she has a habit of fucking people over to get ahead and I don't want to be that way. Edit: point taken though.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 02:45 PM
1

Yeah, I've consulted with two lawyers, both seemed confident that the property would be considered individual property since I owned it a solid 6 years before we even married (married for 4). The lawyer I liked told me about the process called a Divorce from Bed and Board that will essentially evict her. She believed we had enough evidence with just what I had kept during all this to do it. Tbh weirdest thing, and this harkens back to me feeling like a big dummie, is the hardest part is pulling …
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 02:42 PM
1

Well, your congratulations are a bit early tbh. We are still under same roof. I've got to suck it up and start taking some actions, because I tried to do this amicably, and give her a chance to move out, like she has said she was going to do over and over. But even just today, she tried to come at me and half ass apalogize/mostly ignore that anything had been done wrong. It's so fucking confusing, and I never know what mood she is going to be in. I know what I have to do, I just need to duck it …
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 02:36 PM
3

The kiddos bio dad is a pretty decent guy, albeit a bit lazy imho, he's a good guy. So I am not terribly worried for the kid. She is actually with him now per their standard custody agreement, since about a month ago. Tbh if it's going to fall apart nows a good time because she's not with us.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 02:32 PM
2

Yeah dude. Thanks I guess lol. It's just all tough :)
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 04:56 AM
5

That's the fucked part. She literaly has no where to go. She burnt the bridges with her family before we even got together. That should have been my first red flag, but like I stated above, bug 'ol dummie.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 04:44 AM
5

Yeah, thanks for that. It is kind of nice knowing I'm not the only person dealing with this shit because I do feel very isolated. I guess that's why I am here. I have talked to lawyers but everytime I go to pull the plug it all gets so real and by that time she has love bombed me into giving her a chance.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 04:42 AM
7

I've opened the door for her to leave so many times. Literally lined up arrangements for her. She turns on the love bombing and I'm a fucking sucker for that shit I guess. And we keep playing in this never ending breakup pattern. I live like my life is one bad day away from total destruction. Edit: I realize I am ranting so don't feel the need to keep me going lol :)
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 04:36 AM
9

That's true. I do feel very much like that's the case. Thats why my freinds (mostly mutual to us actually) have turned on her over this and are encouraging me to rip the band aid off. It all sucks because I see her feeling so alone and I feel bad for her. But I gotta get over that I guess because she really did me wrong. Badly. Edit: when I say mutual friends there are 2 other couples we are close with and they both know what's going on.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 04:28 AM
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