I'm not going to rehash alot of the drama, but things largely haven't changed from my last post, except she has discovered the error of her ways somehow over the past...12 hours.

I will admit that I went pretty gray with her over the past couple weeks. I have been trying to keep a neutral tone and not engage in arguing or even conversations that could lead to an argument while I am figuring out the lawyer, finances, and getting that all in order. (Admittedly I've drug my feet)

She has definitely seen me pulling away and has reacted poorly to it. We went through more suicide threats last weekend, lots of arguing broke out on saturday and I ended up leaving to stay with a freind for the evening.

This part is just kind of important to my story. I have, for a long time, had a standing meetup on Thursday nights to share a hobby with friends. We are usually out from 8ish until about midnight. This has been the normal for a very long time. My wife dies occasionally come with me traditionally (like once every couple months) so she has always been welcome. She usually gets bored though and prefers to stay at home. No sweat!

During that meetup my wife traditionally blows up my phone if I don't text here reguarly while I'm there. She has multiple times gone as far as calling the business we are at and having them come find me to tell me she is calling if i dont respond within a 30 minute window. Most of our friends have started ignoring her calls if I'm with them or not because they see her do this.

Well last night, I was being sent text that were super depressing, about how she hates herself and has no freinds and all this stuff. I think she intended to make me feel so bad or worried that I'd rush home to comfort her or something? I didn't ignore her (should have) but kept myself very gray and short.

The messages devolved into how much she hates me, and how I'm a POS who doesn't care about anyone or I wouldn't have gone out and left her at home. I probably should have just NOT responded, but I did end the whole thing with just replying "lol" to every text she sent.

I did end up coming home at my normal time. She was already in bed so I just went to bed and did my thing.

Now I get up and go to work and she has turned the love bomb vibes on hard, and has been sending me texts from work all day saying how sorry she is.

I was responding with mostly short answers to anything she asked, and still keeping it gray. Tbh, It was almost working, and making me feel like giving in, until I reminded her and myself that she cheated on me.

She responds with, "I promise I will never cheat on you again".

I noped the fuck out of the conversation right then and left her on read since. She has been sending these sweet messages and shit ever since, I've ignored.

I just gotta quit dragging my feet on this. I hate hurting people though, even her. Hell, ecspecially her. But this shit is killing me to deal with.