| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 14 | STBXW drinks and drives | WhatsTheFrequency2 | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 09:01 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | She has HIVWell, that just seems crazy that it wouldn’t be a certainty for infection considering the infant is swimming in fluids and connected to an umbilical cord. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/24 03:14 AM |
| 6 | She has HIVWait, how does a pregnant woman with HIV not pass that along to their kid? | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/24 09:42 PM |
| 2 | What is your attorneys hourly rate and how much have you paid already?$450 | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/24 05:35 PM |
| 1 | Wife’s attorney asking for documentsNot unless you were hiding money | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/24 02:32 PM |
| 3 | Everyone Else Seems. . .Yeah the lack of sleep was unexpected. Hang in my man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/24 08:12 PM |
| 6 | She wants to separate but still live togetherCheck her phone. Don’t forget to check the deleted ones in her trash. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/24 02:53 PM |
| 1 | What percentage of your net income do you pay for child support?Ugh. Mine isn’t a manipulator but I’ll have that Ted talk on standby just in. Hang in there | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/24 02:36 AM |
| 1 | What percentage of your net income do you pay for child support?I’m going 50/50 and don’t expect to pay any CS or alimony based off mediation so far. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/24 11:15 PM |
| 1 | What percentage of your net income do you pay for child support?Why didn’t you win 50/50 | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/24 11:14 PM |
| 0 | Single dads, did you consider having an Au Pair ?It’s not expensive | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/24 06:27 PM |
| 3 | Why does everyone call their ex a narcissist?Instagram tells them | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/24 10:39 PM |
| 4 | I just broke up with her. I feel like shit.My man. You know what to do. It’s just giving you anxiety, which is understandable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/24 09:53 PM |
| 3 | Feeling stuckNo just Grey Rock her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/24 04:10 PM |
| 2 | So tense upBecause he wanted to retire that’s why he worked so much. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/24 02:17 PM |
| 1 | What are the odds of me getting 50/50 custody of my daughters?I can’t imagine you don’t get 50/50. Are you going for joint custody where you both make equal decisions? Definitely would. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/05/24 04:11 PM |
| 4 | What are the odds of me getting 50/50 custody of my daughters?I see absolutely no reason why you wouldn’t get 50-50 custody. Is there something about your past or your history with your kids that you’re not telling us? Assuming no, you should 100% split custody. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/24 05:01 PM |
| 6 | Male sex toysShow off | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/24 02:52 PM |
| 9 | Anyone else feel like this?When people ask if you’re married just say, “no, I was.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/24 08:24 PM |
| 5 | Reasonable Settlement Offer?You and I make always the exact amount with similar incentives and this seems like an insanely poor offer. You’re giving her way too much. I’m offering a tiny fraction of that altho my wife works. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/24 03:08 PM |
| 1 | Dating app suggestions?I’ve had good success meeting women who actively want to date. I only use hinge and you can filter by their dating intentions. In the first month on, I’ve matched with maybe 15 women before putting it on pause as I have been hanging out with one of them exclusively. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/24 07:20 PM |
| 4 | Dating app suggestions?Hinge my favorite so far. Better user experience and filters. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/24 01:47 AM |
| 1 | Dating app suggestions?Not my experience | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/24 01:47 AM |
| 1 | How soon is too soon?Everyone’s different. Can’t imagine needing this much time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/24 07:15 PM |
| 1 | How soon is too soon?This is exactly my current situation except my STBXW and I are still cohabitating too. 🤦🏻 I like this new woman and I’m going to roll with it. Is it a rebound? Maybe. Is she also awesome? I think so. I should probably get this divorce completed ASAP tho. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/24 07:12 PM |
| 3 | Is it OK to tell my soon to be ex wife that I want to take as much as I can from her in our divorce?This is a business transaction. Act accordingly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/24 03:54 PM |
| 2 | How long did your divorce take?Wow. Good luck soldier and congrats on sobriety. What remains with the divorce process? | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/24 11:05 PM |
| 1 | How long did your divorce take?How so? | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/24 12:37 PM |
| 1 | Dating in your 40sHinge and Feeld. 30s and 40s. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/24 08:09 PM |
| 2 | Splitting the homeGood call on the timeline. I’m asking for 2 years in my divorce decree. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/24 08:03 PM |
| 2 | Splitting the homeNo, many lenders allow you to remove the ex if you provide a divorce decree. Called a novation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/24 01:46 PM |
| 5 | Dating in your 40sI’m (43m)having a great time meeting new women. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/24 05:31 PM |
| 3 | Well boys, I'm doneWorst first 3 months of my life by a country mile. Coming out of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/24 04:49 PM |
| 2 | Well boys, I'm doneWhat does “R” mean? | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/24 03:20 PM |
| 3 | Well boys, I'm doneExcellent. I salute you, internet stranger. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/24 03:19 PM |
| 3 | Narc infidelity - What to share with friend with a gossipy wife?Yes. You got to use double agents to your advantage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/24 12:46 AM |
| 2 | Dating a person with little to no net worth at age 40?Are you hoping to remarry? | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/24 12:57 AM |
| 1 | Any stories of amicable separation?Yep. Time to land the plane. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/24 11:10 PM |
| 1 | Sell the house or give her the 401k?My man 2.8% is an asset itself. You’ll never see that again. What’s your balance on the house and what’s your income? | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/24 08:26 PM |
| 4 | I feel like I should buy expensive shit for myself…my assets will be halved anywayI just spent $3K fixing my car. Made sure to get that in now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/24 04:41 AM |
| 3 | How did you guys get your self confidence back?My man right here. 👏 | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/24 03:32 PM |
| 3 | Getting over the financial lossesStart dating wealthy women | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/24 09:46 PM |
| 2 | Hair loss during separation?Not at all. Im a triathlete who has never had any failure to launch. Boner city. #tmi | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/24 07:29 PM |
| 1 | Hair loss during separation?Yeah good for you. I’ve been on it for 23 years without side effects but you never know. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/24 07:20 PM |
| 1 | Hair loss during separation?Get on propecia asap. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/24 06:56 PM |
| 3 | She filed for divorce, but now wants to call it offYeah that was a typo. Meant to write, “isn’t likely to work out.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/24 03:27 PM |
| 8 | She filed for divorce, but now wants to call it offMy guess is this isnt likely to work out long-term if you stay in it, but if you decide to give it another shot, get a post nuptial agreement in place. Seems like there’s a high chance she’s doing this for financial reasons so set that expectation ahead of time. Very possible she gets pretty unhappy at this suggestion and then you’ll have your answer. Edit: typo | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/24 01:29 AM |
| 1 | Divorce vs. Legal Separation.?In the state of Oregon, at least, there’s no real point/advantage in a legal separation unless you had some sort of religious opposition against divorce or something. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/24 12:05 AM |
| 2 | anyone know if you can liquidate 401k transfer without penalty?Oh shit. I thought we could transfer 401(k) assets without paying taxes on it? I’m going through it right now. But I haven’t gotten to that part. so even if you transferred into, say her IRA, you have to pay taxes on it? | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/24 06:45 PM |
| 1 | No hidden assetsSo there needs to be reasonable expectation that someone is hiding assets before a judge will force both parties to pay for it? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/24 01:40 AM |
| 1 | No hidden assetsWhy wouldn’t you be on the hook for half of that forensic accounting? Genuinely don’t know. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/24 10:35 PM |
| -4 | No hidden assetsSo you’re including your children in the manipulation of your ex? | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/24 10:34 PM |
| 5 | Cash-out Refinance or HELOC?Definitely never touch that 2.75 rate. That alone is a massive asset which you’ll never see again ever. I would check with your lender because my lender told me I could do what’s called a novation and keep the rate while removing her from title most people think you have to refinance. Then, I would get an equity line if you need that money to pay her out. But I’m going to try to negotiate is a payout over say 10 years. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/24 08:24 PM |
| 9 | I want to be a dad. I can see my dream crashing.I was 40 when my 2nd was born. Totally fine. Would have been fine if I was older too. Youve got time, brother. Head up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/24 03:24 PM |
| -2 | Just had an Aha momentI mean, just by definition they have if their mom is broke. I’m glad to hear you’re taking good care of them though. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/24 03:38 AM |
| 1 | Just had an Aha momentYeah but now your kids lost out too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/24 02:41 AM |
| 2 | Do you want to find a new partner?Yep | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/24 01:54 AM |
| 2 | Going through Divorce... Co-own vs sellingCall your lender and ask if they do loan assumptions called novation. Mine said they would in the event of a divorce but you have to provide the divorce decree. You get to keep your rate and take your wife off the loan. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/24 11:25 PM |
| 9 | Post Divorce ED and dating100% anxiety. Get a few cialis to give yourself confidence and then you’ll be back in the saddle. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/24 09:27 PM |
| 6 | Should divorce Spouse but I don't have the balls to do itIf you don’t do anything about this, it won’t stop. And even if you leave her, she’ll do it to someone else. I would file a police report. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/24 04:04 PM |
| 2 | It's over... tfgYeah that last part is crazy to me. Who tf are these guys out here just leading with dick pics and being d bags? Guess that makes the rest of us stand out. Thanks man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/24 11:16 PM |
| 2 | It's over... tfg27 women? Damn. That’s moving. Yeah part of me just thinks that sounds exhausting. I haven’t dated someone else in 20 years since I was in my early 20s. It sounds so shitty just to have to go out and start over but it’s encouraging to hear that you found someone you like. That’s all I’m really hoping for. Sure, I wouldn’t turn down sex with a bunch of women, we were in a bit of a dead bedroom situation, but ultimately, I just want to find someone rad that I like being with. So did you hit online… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/24 10:21 PM |
| 1 | False information on financial disclosureHow so? What happened | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/24 08:27 PM |
| 3 | It's over... tfgThat looks to be the similar timeline for me, but I’m not as far along as you are. But yes, begged her to stay for four months and now I know it’s not going happen and that’s almost a relief because I can move on emotionally. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/24 08:22 PM |
| 2 | It's over... tfgHow did it work against her and congrats by the way | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/24 08:21 PM |
| 12 | The yada yada yada law of divorce“We’ve had ups and downs…” oh yeah, literally. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/03/24 08:20 PM |
| 7 | Wife wanting a divorceStart hoarding cash and hide anything you want to keep. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/24 10:56 PM |
| 3 | My attorney likes to say…Yeah, I got pretty lucky with the timing. I bought my first one in 2012 right before the market really started to takeoff so that helped me buy others. Right now it’s pretty tough because sellers still want the old value and buyers have to deal with today’s current interest rates. Also rents seem to be flattening out after like 10 years of growth, so you’ve got to be careful. if you can pull off, what I would do is buy 2 to 4 units and live in one of the units. You don’t even have to tell the te… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/24 04:17 AM |
| 2 | My attorney likes to say…9 total properties, 28 units. Yeah felt a lot better when I wasn’t looking at losing half. I’m 43 and thought retirement could come early. Not anymore. But I need to figure out how to divide up these properties and not lose my ass. My bank and lender told me that it actually is possible to remove an ex-wife from the current loan that you have. Process called a novation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/24 04:12 AM |
| 1 | My attorney likes to say…I just started the divorce process with a mediator. We have 9 rentals. I really don’t want to sell them because we have super low rates and I don’t think she’ll want to be a landlord. I wish she made the same demands your ex did. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/24 11:15 PM |
| 13 | Kill myselfMy buddy got divorced and tried to kill himself. That was about 5 years ago. Today he’s very happy and with a wonderful new woman. They just got back from a vacation in Greece. Stay in the game. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/24 05:39 PM |
| 1 | Advice: What would the best course of action be?Would you get a pension? You could look at being a cop. 25 years and you’d have a fat daddy pension. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/02/24 04:00 AM |
| 6 | Phew.How did you get away with not paying alimony? I make about double what my SBTX makes and I’m a little worried about it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/02/24 12:00 AM |
| 3 | Would you do 10 year or 17 year alimony?So glad my soon to be ex makes good money. Mediator told me privately she won’t get any support from me | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/24 03:43 AM |
| -1 | If she was drowning…Bro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/24 03:21 AM |
| 5 | Won a work tripBring a buddy as your plus one. Have fun. Easy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/24 02:20 AM |
| 1 | Why so fast?Don’t forget to hire a lawyer, even when going through mediation | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/24 03:27 PM |
| 4 | Well limbos over, divorce time.Damn. I have a 7 year old daughter too. Absolutely devastated about telling her soon. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/24 04:52 AM |
| 1 | Well limbos over, divorce time.How did the kids take it? | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/24 04:41 AM |
| 1 | Seeking guidance/help/encouragement1k apologies. So that means it’s a violation of the divorce decree, yes? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/24 09:32 PM |
| 3 | Is this normal? Counter offer for division of assets from STBXW deducts 25% taxes from retirement savings accountsTend to agree but how do we know if we don’t know how much each makes? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/24 09:28 PM |
| 1 | Seeking guidance/help/encouragementDoes she have primary custody? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/24 06:07 PM |
| 1 | What’s the point of even dating?Mmkay | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/24 12:23 AM |
| 0 | What’s the point of even dating?You said 11, pal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/24 12:18 AM |
| -5 | What’s the point of even dating?You called yourself exhausted due to the, “revolving door” of women you’re hooking up with. 🙄 | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/24 12:15 AM |
| 3 | What’s the point of even dating?I mean you’re averaging less than 4 a year. Calm down, Don Juan. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/24 12:12 AM |
| 1 | How did her family/your in laws/friend circles behave before, during and after your divorceWe have a lot of mutual friends. No idea how this plays out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/01/24 10:36 AM |
| 7 | My D needs help! And me.You’re nervous and thinking about it so it’s a vicious cycle. Don’t know how to fix it. Pills won’t work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/01/24 10:23 AM |
| 3 | Tax season - can use some thoughtsWhat was your rationale? | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/24 03:57 PM |
| 1 | Sex after divorceTeach me | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/24 03:15 PM |
| 1 | Feeling lostI was gonna say the same thing | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/24 02:39 AM |
| 1 | STBXW drinks and drivesYeah that’s basically what my attorney said. I’m looking for an even bigger deterrent to prevent her from even considering driving, but yeah, that’s probably what we end up doing. I want something in there ahead of time that automatically triggers repercussions without having to go back to court. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/24 09:46 PM |
| 4 | Be honest did anybody cheat at their bachelor party if so to what extent?Nope | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/24 07:23 PM |
| 2 | STBXW drinks and drivesI have emails and text messages going back a few years, telling her to stop with her confirmation. I also have a month worth of receipts from the athletic club where she drinks. It’s all time stamped and I documented when she drove the kids home after those days of drinking, so I do think I have some pretty good evidence. Not to mention she’s acknowledged it. It’s just a question of. How do I structure this in a divorce decree. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/24 04:56 PM |
| 1 | STBXW drinks and drivesIt’s a hill I’m willing to die on. The lawyers are just indicating. It can be tough to put it into a divorce decree so I’m looking for feedback if anyone has experience with it. But yes, it’s a non-starter for me and I’m in a tough spot. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/24 04:54 PM |
| 2 | STBXW drinks and drivesYep that’s the plan my lawyer and I came up with today. We’re going wait until everything is all worked out and at the very end say, “oh, by the way, this has to happen too.” She’s the one that wants the divorce so she’ll be motivated to get it done but it’ll also look very poorly on her if she refuses to do everything you can to protect your own kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/24 12:22 AM |
| 3 | STBXW drinks and drivesYeah, I would do it. And I may still try. But it’s going to be really hard to get the police to jump on it that quickly because the police here are awful. I’m telling you, if I told them, my house is being robbed it would take them an hour. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/24 12:20 AM |
| 3 | STBXW drinks and drivesYeah, I mean that’s some Jason Bourne shit but the reality is the cops here in Portland barely even respond to armed robbery at your home so I can’t imagine them jumping on the case and getting to her by the time she gets home from the restaurant where she drinks. But the thought has definitely crossed my mind. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 11:59 PM |
| 2 | STBXW drinks and drivesYeah, I know it’s stressing me the fuck out. My lawyer says it’s probably going to be hard to put something in the divorce decree proactive where it automatically springs a punishment if she gets a DUI. He says she’s going to absolutely be screwed if she gets a DUI with the kids in the car after the fact, but I’m trying to prevent it before it happens. He says that’s hard. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 11:39 PM |
| 3 | STBXW drinks and drivesFuck. I know. I guess I’m saying she otherwise is a fantastic mom, but this is a massive problem. Agreed. And yes, I’m way deep in the thick of it. Fml. The question is how do I stop this? My lawyer says it’s going to be tough. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 11:30 PM |
| 1 | STBXW drinks and drivesYeah, and I would’ve thought the opposite would’ve been true, that you still split the assets more equally, but custody leans in your direction because she’s a risk to their safety. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 11:10 PM |
| 3 | STBXW drinks and drivesSo that’s insane. Shouldn’t that be child endangerment and you would automatically get full custody? That’s how it should work. This is stressing me the fuck out. So you did better financially because of those actions or just in general anyway? What impact did her crash have if anything? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 10:59 PM |
| 3 | STBXW drinks and drivesYeah, I mean she’s a good mom otherwise and my kids need her in their lives but I just don’t want her to drink and drive. It’s a tricky situation. But I understand the sentiment. DUI would probably be the best thing to happen to her. She needs to wake up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 10:57 PM |
| 2 | STBXW drinks and drivesI just got off the phone with my lawyer. He said that if he was her lawyer, he wouldn’t allow there to be any sort of predetermined, springing clause like that. So it’s likely her lawyer will push back on it. But he suggested maybe we state that if there’s a DUI with the kids in the car, she’ll be royally screwed because a) it’s child endangerment, but b) we could have something in there that says I get custody right away full-time until she works out the legal entanglements, and that would also… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 10:56 PM |
| 2 | STBXW drinks and drivesYeah, I mean by definition, she abuses alcohol for sure. So somebody else suggested putting one of those interlock devices on our vehicles. Again, that will absolutely infuriate her and I’m not sure how enforceable it’ll be or if I can pull it off with the lawyers negotiating, but will find out. Seems like if you really believe you don’t drink and drive and you truly want your kids to be safe you shouldn’t push back. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 09:26 PM |
| 2 | STBXW drinks and drivesGood advice. That’s kind of piss her off to no end and I’m trying to be amicable but to your point, these are our kids lives. It’s crazy that I even have to worry about this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 09:17 PM |
| 1 | Divorce is devastating but you can come out aheadYes I’m fit. I’m a triathlete. 175 lbs. I feel like such a dork posting a shirtless photo but I think I’m gonna have to do it right? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 09:15 PM |
| 1 | STBXW drinks and drivesYeah, I’m gonna try to do that. I mean, how could she deny that clause because then it would show the world she doesn’t trust herself not to do it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 09:08 PM |
| 1 | Divorce is devastating but you can come out aheadYeah, same situation. She’s been going to counseling for seven years and said she’s been contemplating this for a long time and said she doesn’t see us being intimate anymore. I know your advice makes sense, it’s just so hard to accept. She said she’s at peace with it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 09:06 PM |
| 1 | Divorce is devastating but you can come out aheadPerfect. im 43, 6’2”, banking and real estate money, in a larger West Coast city. But I’ve been reading the hinge bumble sub Reddit, and it feels like they only have horror stories on there. You’re giving me hope. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 09:04 PM |
| 1 | Divorce is devastating but you can come out aheadWhich sites do you use? What age range? Teach me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 08:57 PM |
| 1 | Divorce is devastating but you can come out aheadMan, I am in a similar position. Married my high school sweetheart. I’m 43. She just asked for divorce and I am in the begging and pleading stage. I want to stay together so bad for the kids, but I also still love her. She said she loves me too, but she has “lost herself“ in our marriage. I think she’s going through a midlife crisis, but also know that I haven’t been as supportive as I should have during her postpartum depressions, and perimenopause. She’s been pretty volatile but I have my equa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 08:55 PM |
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