| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Do I owe SAHM any money during divorce process? | WizofWorr | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/24 11:00 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 8 | Drowning financially because of child support.Just to play devils advocate here, you don't have to go to college. I made six figures only three years into my career in IT and I don't have any college degree. I don't think that's a good marker of setting yourself up for success like back in your day as you kind of hinted at. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/25 03:55 PM |
| 4 | My wife and I simply cannot stop fighting. How to know it's time to divorce?My wife was diagnosed with borderline after our son was born, and then it all made sense. Just like OP, her BPD started really spiraling out of control after our son was born. He is 20 months and the divorce is just starting. BPD is horrible OP, they need a lot of therapy and intrinsically are opposed to it thinking they don't need it. I'm talking 3+ hours a week, and they will at most do 1. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/25 02:56 PM |
| 6 | What hobbies or projects have you taken up as a single dad?Jiu jitsu and amateur racing like autocross. I have met other really nice guys from all walks of life, usually older than me, and all of them been through their own fair share of shit too. Both very good types of groups to meet sane, cool people. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/25 06:59 PM |
| 3 | Out With A BangDoing that wouldn't affect her life at all. I know some vindication would be sweet but that's just simply not going to have any impact. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/24 06:24 PM |
| 2 | Getting close to breaking pointYou need your head examined because a LAW is not gender based, and neither is a night in jail with 52 weeks of classes targeted at people who make poorly thought out aggressive decisions. Your boomer logic is remarkable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/24 05:09 PM |
| 5 | Getting close to breaking pointTake the macho shit somewhere else. You probably believe real men don't cry either. If you are a victim of domestic violence, it should be reported. Not enough women are forced through batterers treatment groups and some people need to learn the hard way with a night in jail and 52 weeks of classes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/24 03:56 PM |
| 5 | Tough decision. I'm living in Florida close to my little son. I lost my job 2 months ago and I'm working as a package delivery driver right now ($40k). I got an offer to work in IT but I would have to move to Austin, TX. It pays more ($58k) and I hope that it could start a career in tech.That's way too entry level, you need some certifications or an AA in cyber security, some experience with command line and switches. You can definitely start at $10 higher than that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/24 03:33 AM |
| 10 | Tough decision. I'm living in Florida close to my little son. I lost my job 2 months ago and I'm working as a package delivery driver right now ($40k). I got an offer to work in IT but I would have to move to Austin, TX. It pays more ($58k) and I hope that it could start a career in tech.There's 55k entry level help desk jobs abundantly. I don't see any compelling reason to move for an entry level job that's a dime a dozen. Learn some office 365, start to study CCNA; you can get a helpdesk job anywhere. I recommend an MSP vs internal to get started. I went to community college for two years, got AA in CS, got hired at 55k, and have gotten a 15k raise every year since at an MSP. It's a nice life for no 4 year + diploma! | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/24 02:21 AM |
| 1 | gym alternativeJiu jitsu is the way | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/24 05:45 AM |
| 1 | Stbxw job switchSounds like drugs (presumptuous but often accurate) or personal issues of some flavor. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/24 08:24 AM |
| 2 | Want to break stuff... What to break?Jiu jitsu is the answer my friend. Wonder why so many gyms are everywhere these days? Lot of guys feel just like you, and finally found the outlet for it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/24 05:36 AM |
| 1 | I know there is a hidden camera, what do I do?Your stbxw would never assist with providing you footage from a camera she never intended you to find. If forced to they'll definitely delete it, or play dumb. There's no scenario where it benefits you to leave them. If you block them on the network then you can play dumb because it will look like they weren't physically touched, and then she can't ask you "hey did you touch my hidden cameras?" | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/24 04:25 PM |
| 7 | I know there is a hidden camera, what do I do?IP scan, find the camera, setup Mac filtering and block the device. Done and done. 5 minutes exercise on your router. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/24 02:12 AM |
| 2 | Wife with Borderline Personality DisorderYou clearly do not understand or have first hand experience with BPD. It's an immolating fire, you can't live around it and be fine. My wife is BPD. It's horrible. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 03:28 PM |
| 9 | Wife with Borderline Personality DisorderYour kids living in that environment and high level of dysfunction is far far worse for them than you getting divorced. You are not helping them or sparing them any punches by living like that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 02:45 PM |
| 7 | Dealing with novel length messagesThe app just explicitly isn't for drama, so bringing that all into there is pretty much an L no matter what for her. It sounds like everything is going according to your lawyers plan tbh, as tough as it might be to weather the storm. Keep grey rocking, it's working in your favor! | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/24 08:40 PM |
| 4 | Dealing with novel length messagesThat's a great situation, let her keep making a complete ass of herself then. If you wanted to fight for more custody, that is great ammo highlighting she is unstable, doesn't care about co-parenting for the well-being of the children, etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/24 08:32 PM |
| 5 | Dealing with novel length messagesYou need to institute an app like our family wizard, and block all other forms of communication. Have the app written in your agreements by your lawyer, as the app is court reviewed. So if she wants to mouth off in there and look terrible on the record, she can feel free. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/24 08:23 PM |
| 0 | What if I had just said "Sorry, I'm not getting divorced"Are you a bot? Not even related to the comment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/24 02:06 PM |
| 1 | My Story…a summary of 15 years. Can you relate?She sounds like she has BPD, I would highly recommend looking into that as a form of catharsis and better understanding what happened to you. Her behavior is really textbook. I am sorry for your loss but you can pick up and do better than ever with time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 04:32 PM |
| 2 | My wife left me and I’m struggling with understanding why.What are you here for exactly? You sound like a fool. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/24 04:08 PM |
| 4 | Divorced 40+ foreigner—it's a struggle to say the leastHighly recommending starting to practice jiu jitsu. You will kill so many birds with one stone. You're definitely in the right place to start training. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/24 05:36 AM |
| 4 | She's trying to fix thingsIf there has been any upward trajectory in couples therapy, even if sometimes there are steps backwards, then you're honestly doing fine and should just keep with the process. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/24 07:39 AM |
| 3 | Medication and SeperationJust sign up for couples therapy and say the first session is x date and time and it's a safe space for her to vent / help you if her intentions really are to "help you fix yourself for the next person". She will definitely go if it's a zoom call especially. And ultimately after one session who knows how much differently she might feel. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/24 06:22 PM |
| 2 | Medication and SeperationHave you been to couples counseling yet? You can try some sessions with a psychologist ideally, you guys really don't seem that far gone at all. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/24 01:51 PM |
| 8 | What's it going to take to fix things?She belongs to the streets now after all her hookups and childish behavior. You're clearly a mature man not in that headspace anymore. You wouldn't date a 20 something doing the same shit as your stbxw, so there should be no reality where that flies with anyone else either. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 03:38 PM |
| 1 | It wasn’t an accidentDesperation leads to the most wild internal mental gymnastics | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/24 03:32 PM |
| 1 | Going back to college/finding careerI make 6 figures in IT after starting my career 4 years ago, and have a two years associates from community college. I'm 31 now. IT is the final frontier for guys who are willing to study hard but don't have a diploma to prove it. It's not for everyone, and you have to continue to study even after getting hired, lest your expertise become only in obsolete equipment or software. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 04:06 PM |
| 1 | Should I stop depositing into my 401K?We're not separated yet, so I was going to retain the lawyer while she thinks everything is fine as we flail in couples counseling. It sounds like this would be completely kosher as long as I retain them a few weeks before filing, separating, etc. I'll send them an email and hopefully can report back with my experience. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/24 01:59 PM |
| 2 | Should I stop depositing into my 401K?Following. I've had a similar question in mind regarding cashing out some 401k to pay my retainer. My thinking is, why not if I'm just going to have to split it with her anyways? | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/24 04:30 AM |
| 4 | CounterpointBecause free money is cool when you eventually are ready to get divorced and "find yourself" on the dick carousels of the world. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/24 03:20 PM |
| 5 | Why do I do this?Please find a hobby and sense of community outside your ex wife and family unit. I recommend jiu jitsu, and autocross, which really helped me connect with other men who are often more mature and successful, and have already navigated similar things I'm going through. Based on the way you are thinking, it seems really unhealthy to try and continue seeking validation in a way from your ex. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/24 05:42 AM |
| 17 | Ex's love interest says he will beat me upSounds like a great time to start training in jiu jitsu, especially if you don't already have a gym regimen going. Even after a little training as just a white belt, unless there's a gun or a knife, or the dude has +100 pounds on you, there's no way you're getting beat up by someone untrained. The confidence that comes along with that feels great, puts a sense of strength and security in your steps and gait. Honestly can't recommend it enough. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/08/24 05:08 PM |
| 8 | Living solo and starting from scratchI recommend trying to find yourself in new hobbies you always wanted to try, or maybe even just had passing interest in. I personally started going to autocross events, then full on track events, and also started jiu jitsu soon after. The sense of self and identity formed by participating in something super healthy and rewarding for me was and is very pivotal to my day to day happiness. Knowing I have autocross on most weekends and a track day here or there with all my physical fitness taken car… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/08/24 07:30 AM |
| 1 | SoftwareGoogle is your friend, download the ISO from their website and install to a USB using Rufus. I'm not going to spell out every step for this so if you really want to proceed from here you will have to do your own legwork a bit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/08/24 06:16 PM |
| 6 | SoftwareTeramind is pretty good and what I deploy for clients who want to do this. You would still need to log into the computer to install it. You can just use hirens boot disk to reset the local admin password and get in to do that however. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/08/24 02:17 PM |
| 3 | Songs my stbx wife has been listening toYou were the wrong person at the right time, like many of us. It was never really about you, just what you could do for her at that time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/24 01:50 PM |
| 3 | Ex demands one of our children needs counselingNearly everyone would benefit from talk therapy and your kids probably aren't any different. What exactly is the downside? Does your health insurance not cover mental health? Even my shitty HMO covers websites like rula | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/24 07:36 AM |
| 5 | Divorcing an okay marriageEverything you've brought up can be solved in couples counseling if you genuinely want to invest in that. It's pretty difficult, but getting divorced is even harder, so if you are emotionally mature enough to work through things in a clinical setting, you'd be surprised what your wife is willing to commit to as well on her end. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/24 06:14 PM |
| 2 | A Vent About Interaction With ExIt's obviously an excuse because she doesn't care. It's sad, and doesn't make any sense but actions speak louder than words. Don't try to make sense of why they do these things, you can't. Just be there for your kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/24 06:22 AM |
| 1 | Cheating wife bringing AP around childYou can't do anything about who she brings around your kids, and to be honest it sounds like you initiated breaking up your relationship with this open marriage nonsense. What did you expect her to do when you brought it up, nothing? | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/24 06:14 AM |
| 3 | This is the story of blood founderKeep your day job, don't think you'll make it as a fiction writer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/24 03:11 PM |
| 4 | Probable divorceYou need to call the police and start getting consequences imposed for all her domestic violence. Breaking your things in the heat of the moment is domestic violence, she could be taken to jail for the night, and have to do 52 weeks of DV classes. I say bring the hammer down on her for that crap as soon as possible. Anything past is already irrelevant but call the police immediately the next time she is banging on the door to get at you, throwing, hitting, all of that completely falls within DV. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/24 10:28 PM |
| 7 | Newly married, maybe newly divorced.You need to hire a lawyer. She doesn't respect you at all. Sorry it has to be this way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/24 07:56 AM |
| 4 | Narcissism seems to be the new buzzword today. Did or are you dealing with that in your present or past divorce?Yes, I'm a narcissist, autistic, bipolar, suicidal, depressed, anxious, list goes on. All of our ex's are trained in the DSM of course, that's how they are all so good at finding these mental disorders we never knew we had. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/24 04:21 PM |
| 1 | Advice on stbxw pushing meds?My parents said I didn't have ADHD, and unsurprisingly they weren't doctors and weren't qualified to make that diagnosis. I did have it, did eventually get medicated, and it really helped my life for the better. So just to play devil's advocate here, please be sure to get your child properly tested because you could be truly hampering their abilities and sense of self worth by keeping them unmedicated for your own personal reasons or beliefs | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/24 02:46 PM |
| 5 | Is my wife cheating?A better question is why do you inside yourself want to reconcile? There is the book lose a cheater gain a life, give it a read. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/24 10:04 PM |
| 4 | Talking to STBXW about divorce, need help.They'll put her on an involuntary 5150 hold in a psych ward. It's honestly not the worst idea if she brings this up again. She will be forced into getting help whether she wants it or not at that point, including being med compliant. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/24 02:03 PM |
| 2 | Does "perjury" actually have any teeth?That guy reads reddit though, you'll have to get on his level. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/24 01:55 PM |
| 2 | Perspective on some comments / emotional affairsImagine asking a question or having an honest conversation instead of setting up such contrived bullshit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/24 02:02 PM |
| 1 | Perspective on some comments / emotional affairsIt's always a double standard, imagine a man performing a similarly illogical test on his spouse, it would never fly or be accepted. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/24 02:01 PM |
| 2 | What’s the point of life if she is going to take half eventuallyShe gets half; there's no tricks or loopholes. It's just going to suck, pull off the band aid before you end up.owing even more alimony and spousal support | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/24 02:56 PM |
| 2 | I found out my wife had an Onlyfans.I know you're only halfway serious but I work in IT and paying a "hacker" to do anything is a donation to their wallet. They have no obligation to followup or help you, and they may even target you further because you're an easy mark. It would be like paying a drug dealer and he never comes back out his apartment with the drugs. What are you going to do, call the cops on him and say he stole your money and never gave you the drugs? | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/24 04:43 PM |
| 3 | Tough day todayIt's definitely normal to feel that way, and starting some new hobbies will help you feel like you're starting a new chapter in your life because you will meet so many new people and have fun pursuing new things. I personally started low stakes amateur parking lot racing (called autocross) which has been great meeting guys of all ages (many older divorced dudes as well to commiserate with and share rides in their cool porches), and jiu jitsu. These two things alone have been tremendous for me by… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/24 04:33 PM |
| 2 | I hate my wifeHis wife isn't acting entitled to OPs resources and time? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/24 02:39 PM |
| 1 | Do I owe SAHM any money during divorce process?Thank you for this, now this is an answer with some insight for me to consider. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/24 09:01 PM |
| 2 | 4 months separatedI picked up jiu jitsu and autocross and both have been really great social venues to meet cool people older and younger than me. I cannot recommend enough both hobbies to anyone, no matter what car you drive or how in or out of shape you are. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/24 08:45 PM |
| 1 | Do I owe SAHM any money during divorce process?She does, but I'm pretty sure there's a lot leftover, and that's my fundamental question. Do I have to give her as much as I always have, or can I insist I'm only paying for the house etc and nothing more at this stage? | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/24 03:15 PM |
| 2 | Do I owe SAHM any money during divorce process?Thank you again. I turn to everyone here in my time of weakness and I'm fortunate others can help me avoid learning the hard way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/24 12:49 AM |
| 2 | Do I owe SAHM any money during divorce process?She worked when we started dating, but by the time we got married she had been making $0 for a few years. She does have a bachelor's degree in English, which isn't worth much more than toilet paper but apparently the court thinks that's enough to be assumed as capable of having a minimum wage job for 40 hours as far as a CS calculator is concerned. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/24 12:43 AM |
| 2 | Do I owe SAHM any money during divorce process?I will just keep with the status quo then until my lawyer is on retainer and I can ask him this with means to followup. Thank you for the insight and echoing the general consensus of others. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/24 12:41 AM |
| 2 | Do I owe SAHM any money during divorce process?I've been saving every penny I have to make this happen, and if I could pay her $1000 less each month it could probably happen next month instead of two ish months away. One of my clients is a beverly hills family law firm and the 10k retainer is steep for me (I'm only three years out of school), but damn are they talented and I'm pretty confident in a slam dunk with them backing me. That's the entire basis of my question really is can I get away with not contributing the same amount as before t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/24 11:58 PM |
| 2 | Do I owe SAHM any money during divorce process?California, 2.5 years married, son is 1, she works for 90 minutes a week earning $35 a week, teaching a single yoga class. So effectively nothing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/24 11:47 PM |
| 1 | Do I owe SAHM any money during divorce process?I figured, was hoping the masses had experienced something similar anecdotally before I am able to afford my lawyer completely in like two months. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/24 11:45 PM |
| 0 | Do I owe SAHM any money during divorce process?Dealing with this psycho shit everyday makes your train of thought so much less rational. I know it's wrong and certainly can't bring myself to do it in reality. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/24 11:13 PM |
| -1 | Do I owe SAHM any money during divorce process?I'll just say the petty part of me wants to give $0 from here out and say figure it out in court bitch. Wonder how well that would go and if any of you have tried it? We have no joint accounts so she has no access to any of my money or deposits from work etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/24 11:02 PM |
| 1 | BPD violent spouse and divorcePeople for some reason wrongly assume BPD is bipolar disorder, I've seen that several times in this sub. So perhaps just an unfortunate example given the context of this thread. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/24 03:05 PM |
| 2 | BPD violent spouse and divorceBPD is not bipolar. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/24 02:41 PM |
| 2 | After your separation, what new habit or routine did you adopt?Jiu jitsu has been great, and autocross has been great. Both hobbies have given me really valuable new skills and self confidence, and both communities are vast with really great people to meet | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/24 02:34 PM |
| 16 | I "make" $11.05 per hour"."why do you need a pre-nup if you love me?" | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/24 06:47 AM |
| 4 | Should I stay or should I goDo you have kids? If you have no kids you should consider moving forwards. There are multiple red flags she's cheating on you emotionally or physically. At best, she simply doesn't respect you, but odds are likely she's cheated. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/24 02:47 PM |
| 2 | Don’t ask questionsI had a therapist express this another way as: "We hold our own buttons, if people push them, it's on us for holding up the button for them to press in the first place" | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/24 06:22 PM |
| 5 | How to forgiveIf you care how she is, then letting go will always be nearly impossible. The unfortunate truth is you have to not give a shit, and then suddenly you realize you don't give a shit anymore. If you continue to care for this person in general then you will continue to care about circumstances which were definitely not fair, but are long over with. The well respected advice here is to treat the ex like a business partner. You're both vested in the business that is your child, but beyond that they ar… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/24 06:03 AM |
| 9 | What percentage of your net income do you pay for child support?Nobody can provide relevant information. You make more monthly than most people make in an entire year man. Normal rules don't apply to people with your income. You will definitely need to pay for legal advice vs Reddit | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/24 05:58 AM |
| 4 | Divorce in VirginiaChild support is decided by a calculator, not the whims of your stbxw. You can look up the state of Virginia child support calculator, and do note that if your wife has a degree but is a stay at home mom now, the potential income from he degree does count and does make her income non zero for the calculator. Unfortunately you do need a lawyer, especially based on how the stbxw sounds. Borrow money, use a credit card, do whatever you have to do to pay the retainer, because the longer you wait the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/24 04:51 PM |
| 4 | Do I need to vent before I f*** up or do I need the argument?Don't vent to your stbx. In fact, don't even have the argument tonight you are talking about. If confronted, just say nothing but yes or ok, and show or feel no emotion. Your life is grey rock now, share nothing about your thoughts, feelings, or anything at all, with this person going forwards. Her parenting is nothing you can control, so there is no point talking to her about this either. Refer to point number 1, don't share any of your feelings or thoughts with this person as it will only beco… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/24 03:26 PM |
| 1 | Ex-wife constantly on phone with youngest my entire time I have my children.JAMF is going to be infinitely more configurable. It's the same platform you would use to lock down a school full of iPads to certain apps only etc. You can control literally every element of the phone granularly from a website dashboard. Super worth. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/24 05:59 PM |
| 14 | Ex-wife constantly on phone with youngest my entire time I have my children.I personally plan to enroll my children's phones in JAMF when they are old enough to have phones. The $4 per device a month is completely worth. You could just completely disable FaceTime after x o clock when you have custody. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/24 10:16 PM |
| 7 | Feeling so aloneThe general consensus is do not leave your house until the divorce is over. It's your house still. You don't gain anything by being a Martyr in your head. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/24 08:03 AM |
| 0 | Moving into same apt building as exwifeIf any of that were true you wouldn't give two shits about this person. Yet you're motivated to fuck with them. So everything you've posted is just pure denial. You're not healed, and you're not good, because you're still obsessed with this person who doesn't even give a fuck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/24 03:59 AM |
| 4 | Moving into same apt building as exwifeGrow up mate, we're here to support you but you're acting a fool. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/24 03:41 AM |
| 3 | Moving into same apt building as exwifeYou're in denial. Suffer away if you want. Dumb. You're still thinking about this bitch who couldn't care less. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/24 03:39 AM |
| 2 | Moving into same apt building as exwifeThen do not move onto the same building. Your motivation to do it is to just be vindictive and that wears off fast. This is a safe space and it's good to talk about irrational things here, especially to vent. But do not follow through with this. It will not help you heal, it will do the opposite. Daily. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/24 03:28 AM |
| 6 | Wife cheatingShe's not worth it man. You want to give up because someone betrayed you and pulled away the curtain? It's hard but it's a blessing in disguise, you don't want to spend the rest of your life with scum. Your son will not be brainwashed by her. Kids can tell which parents love them deeply and which are up to their own shit. You should never harm yourself over an unfaithful woman. She showed you that you mean nothing to her, harming yourself is helping her win, and proving her point even after you'… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/24 03:20 AM |
| 1 | Disoriented & DesolateHow many different women did you cheat on your wife with? Sounds like two different circumstances total? There is no recovery. It's over. Pay for a lawyer as soon as possible and get things going. I don't want to rub it in, but many men here have been cheated on and then subsequently blindsided and divorced. You're about to be absolutely vilified here. It's honestly a lack of self reflection to call adultery a simple mistake like you spilled a glass of milk. You knew what you were doing and who … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/24 03:10 AM |
| 4 | Does anyone else get told this after the divorce starts?Damn dude, join a jiu jitsu gym and reach the next level. You're massive and could learn to toss anyone's salad. The self confidence from being trained, and camaraderie from said training was massive to me personally while my relationship was in nuclear fallout. And while learning the ropes, there are very few things more cathartic than getting absolutely beat up. It's lightly masochistic, but if you enjoy the no pain no gain mentality from the gym, then you'd likely enjoy it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/24 03:01 AM |
| 4 | Does anyone else get told this after the divorce starts?Hot boy summer to me means buy a sports car and hit the mountains or the track. Would rather spend money on tires than her fingernails, imo! Forget the hoes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/24 02:57 AM |
| 7 | Does anyone else get told this after the divorce starts?Don't man. It's not exciting. It's just the same shit in a different toilet | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/24 02:49 AM |
| 4 | There's nothing I can do.You divorce one time, and however it shakes out is pretty final. 5k is quite frankly nothing when you consider the ramifications of the outcome are lifelong. It's worth it to pay for legal counsel. If your stbxw thought the same as you she wouldn't have gotten a lawyer, what does that tell you about how amicable she is planning to be about this since she went and got one? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/24 03:57 AM |
| 6 | There's nothing I can do.You 100% need a lawyer or you will end up fucked over by the end of it. She is working to line up her life in her best interests now, not yours. Do the same! | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/24 03:25 AM |
| 6 | There's nothing I can do.Next relationship mate, this round with this woman has come to an end. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/24 03:24 AM |
| 1 | Hobbies QuestionI personally got into autocross and then eventually track racing in my car. This is a great one, but can become a money pit if you start enjoying it and need to buy tires all the time, etc. Also recommending jiu jitsu, grappling in particular I think is really good exercise and gives an insane amount of self confidence and measurable results. It's nice knowing you can pop someones head off if you have to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/24 01:17 PM |
| 3 | Is there a natural way out of the depression? Time? Gym?Highly recommending jiu jitsu. Getting beat up and grappling is even more cathartic than regular gym level working out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/24 09:01 PM |
| 2 | Early divorceShe isn't worth it man, you could cut a finger off to prove your dedication, and it wouldn't impress her, and she would never do the same in return either. Be selfish a little bit and take care of yourself, read No More Mr Nice Guy, grey rock, read some posts here about those things and you'll really start to feel better. Ideally 0 communication with stbxw and lawyer up if you can afford right now. I can't lie to you that it is hard work but if you're focused on the tried and true things then it… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/24 09:04 PM |
| 2 | Early divorceIn some way, you have to consider yourself lucky you didn't get stuck with any domestic violence charges. Like others here I got charged with completely bogus circumstances, and due to the laws around DV calls, still had to go to jail anyways. It's so immensely hard to process all the painful emotions you are experiencing, but as someone who has been through the DV charges at least, imagine how much worse it would be if you had a shiny new arrest record and misdemeanor/felony charge to add into … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/24 08:51 PM |
| 8 | Help me defeat this womanWhat do you want to accomplish? If you want to hurt this person because they have fucked you for the last time then don't bother. This will destroy your relationship with your kids if you proceed. Kids are a long game, you have to lose the game for a while right now sadly due to your stbxw's child manipulation, but that never lasts and kids come around FAST when a parent is doing a bad job at being fun and good and supportive. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/24 07:01 AM |
| 3 | What’s a positive way to release anger?Join a jiu jitsu gym as soon as possible. You will suck, and get beat up for weeks. This is the way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/24 02:09 PM |
| 1 | Why do they look sad?...what are you talking about? | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/24 12:51 PM |
| 3 | Why do they look sad?I've been having fun with the opposite using my IT skills, unfixing things let's say. We still live in the same home for now, and using DHCP reservations I make her devices all point to a specific DNS server, a raspberry PI working as a pihole essentially sinkholing traffic but only for her, and only to whatever resources I feel like blocking. Highly configurable! | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/24 03:38 AM |
| 8 | Dropping bombs well after the factIt's safe to share this stuff on Reddit, but it's important you walk away from this post and realize that would be pretty emotionally immature and harm you ultimately more than anyone if actually done. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/24 03:27 AM |
| 2 | Victimhood and the Path BeyondGoing to second jiu jitsu, you're right and getting beat up is somehow a nice feeling and leaving the gym always feels great | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/24 10:02 PM |
| 2 | AdviceLearning to punch and kick is one thing, but if someone ever lays their hands on you, and you know how to toss their salad immediately or submit them, then you can protect yourself well in more common scenarios like OPs. It's not always appropriate to punch someone when they grab you, but if OPs son knows how to break grips, break a headlock, then that's definitely appropriate. Wrestling honestly works too if OP is more for collegiate sports that are more mainstream, doesn't have to be "martial … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/24 03:02 PM |
| 2 | AdviceTake your boys to jiu jitsu, it can be fun father son bonding, and this other kid won't be able to touch your son after even just a handful of training. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like ex cares, so teach your son how to reverse any grappling situation safely imo. Jiu jitsu is controlled and your son won't hurt anyone, but could easily take dominant position, break any hand holds or body locks etc inflicted on him. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/24 05:51 AM |
| 1 | What are some initial coping methods?Going to second hobbies. OP, start jiu jitsu, and you'll get jacked and confident, and meet like minded dudes. Cannot recommend it enough. Started two months ago, acquaintances and clients have been saying I look like I'm losing weight, and I actually barely have at all. Just carrying myself better since starting to train! | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/24 04:42 AM |
| 3 | How to make friends in a small town?Jiu jitsu is a great one, especially when you're going through something tough or emotionally trying. That's a great time to start! | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/24 02:02 AM |
| 2 | Complete silenceWhy did you separate? What is stopping you from moving back in tomorrow? You separating yourself from her and then begging for attention and communication is putting all the power in her hands for no reason. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/24 07:18 PM |
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