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Wowbaggerrr Archive

View 0 posts and 343 comments by Wowbaggerrr on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

“Pretty Privilege” is a real thing—even for guys. I work in the beauty industry, and I tell my clients that their looks are a tool. It’s not something you should become unhealthily obsessed with, but it’s something you should know how to wield for your benefit. Polishing your look makes people assume you’re smarter, more talented, healthier, more trustworthy, etc. The effect is so pronounced that as one example, women can earn up to 18% more money just by staying thin. It literally pays to be be…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 05:42 PM
13

Exactly. And these were just average looking women. One was quite heavyset. I think men seriously overestimate how much impact "the wall" has on women. The "men age like wine, women age like milk" idea did not work out for the husbands in this case.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/21 04:27 PM
68

I'm a hairstylist, so clients love to spill the juicy gossip. I have 4 couples that have tried polyamory. 2 have gotten divorced because of it, and the other 2 are constantly bitching about the drama between husband and wife. But to answer your question, 3 were initiated by the husband. What's more interesting is that in 2 of those husband-initiated ones, the wives ended up getting a lot more attention. So the husband thought he would have plenty of options and nobody would want his middle-aged …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/21 03:27 PM
2

Big lips. (on both men and women) I think mouths are sort of gross to begin with, so accentuating them with big, bold lips weirds me out. I know people dislike thin lips, but I honestly think those faces are quite attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/21 05:04 PM
2

The commonly used metric for poverty, often touted by people like Bill Gates, uses $1.90/day as the global poverty line. And using that metric, yes, poverty has dropped. The issue is that if you look beyond that number (which we've been using for waaay too long) half the world is still living on about $5 a day. So still what we would consider poverty, it just doesn't fit the technical definition. Hence feel good articles about how we're eradicating poverty.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 03:48 PM
6

Word salad? He gave you the answer you've been asking for. 2 billion is the number if you want everyone on earth to live a middle class, western lifestyle. As population continues to grow, that means more people will enter poverty because with current technology, we're unable to provide a middle class lifestyle to more than 2bil without depleting our resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 05:02 AM
7

I've been married for 6 years and sex in a committed LTR is less frequent and less exciting, but it's definitely better. They know exactly what you like and don't like and it has more of a loving feeling to it, even when it's something "degrading" like BDSM or rough play. There's also more of a focus on the other person, and making sure they enjoy themselves too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/18 04:50 PM
2

Well damn. I've noticed it's a trend for millennials to openly hate anything stereotypically millennial. I'm sure one day you'll find your fellow old soul. (Not bagging on you, I also dislike the traits you listed. The way you listed them just made you come off like an old person.)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/17 01:50 PM
2

How old are you? My first thought as well. A lot of OP's complaints sound like the old man complaining about "kids these days."
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/17 12:36 PM
1

I feel as thought I explained it above. There is definitely a man-hating group of feminists. Every group has their assholes and they tend to scream the loudest and get the most attention. Male tears would be an example of this. If that's all you've ever seen of feminism, I don't expect to be able to change your mind, and I'm sorry that you've never heard what the more sane feminists have to say. There is a big push for men to be able to express emotion without being seen as weak, girly, or gay. …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/17 02:43 AM
1

I think you're partially right. Some people pushing this position have their hearts in the right place and just want to expand men's emotional options. And some use the tactic of calling a stoic, unemotional man "toxic masculinity." Those people are assholes and are just hurting their cause.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/17 04:51 PM
1

I've seen a big push for men to show their feelings, not be afraid to cry, help more in child-rearing, do "womanly" tasks, etc. So I think they're trying to change gender roles for men too. I just don't think it's caught on as well as they would have liked. Frankly, (besides the not showing feelings part) I think it seems like a better deal to have the manly role in a relationship. So I can't blame men for not being enthusiastic about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/17 04:22 PM
10

I agree with you on married men having social clout in the workplace. But I've also wondered if marriage gives them a certain skill-set that makes for good managers/team leads. Even in the happiest marriages, there are arguments. Since a married man has been able to successfully navigate them and stay married, he probably has patience, good negotiating skills, conflict avoidance/de-escalation....all things that would help him get promoted.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/17 01:55 PM
1

Yes, agreed. I'd like to think that people come here with open minds. I know my opinions have changed on some issues just because of discussions in here. I'm sure that's often not the case, but hey, we can be optimistic. And I completely agree with this not being an actual Safe Space. Those are generally echo chambers. I was just trying to clarify what I'm assuming OP's idea was.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 06:20 PM
1

Eh, I'd agree with you if there wasn't so much blunt, vulgar, not-well-thought-out stuff posted here. If all of us were sitting together in a room,sure. We'd be more careful with our words. But not online. I thought of an analogy that I think works for what OP is saying. Lets say you love violence, both dishing it and taking it. Society would frown on you attacking random people. So you go to your little underground fight club as your "safe space", where you can express all your anger. It's not …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 05:27 PM
3

I think OP means a safe space to share all the horrible, non-PC things that we're actually thinking. So, not safe from being attacked. Safe to verbalize the crap in your head and fight it out with someone....I think? So an non-safe safe space.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 03:57 PM
1

Hah! This is a perfect description. He's good looking but....not. Bad head, giant neck.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/16 07:07 AM
1

I no longer go to church, but at the time, my family was hard-core evangelical Baptist.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/16 06:34 PM
1

I realize we've gotten waaay off track from the original question. But c'mon, this is a debate sub. I don't pretend to have all the answers, but others have disagreed with me on this thread and there's still been some decent discussion. You aren't even able to articulate an opinion, just insults. Next time, if you take the time to write out why you feel a certain way, you may even sway people toward your opinion. Just a thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/16 02:43 PM
1

Yeah, shitty situation all around.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/16 02:35 PM
2

I replied to someone else making this argument, but it bears repeating because on the topic of overpopulation, someone always bring up western (and usually people are more blunt and just say "white") people and values going extinct. Over the long haul, sure, it's possible. I'm not a huge fan of that happening, but the answer can't be to outbreed other races/countries. Then it's just a race to see who overpopulates their country first. Things you can do if this worries you: support education in a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/16 07:28 AM
1

Do you seriously think that we don't trade with other countries for resources?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/16 07:20 AM
1

This seems to be the most common negative response to my decision. It turns into a race/country of origin thing. First off, how do you know I'm not an immigrant? Would your response be different if I was from say, Afghanistan? Second, yes Americans and white people in general may eventually go extinct. Do I like that? Not really. But would I prefer less people in the world, even if it means less white people? Absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/16 07:19 AM
3

That's very true, which I why I also support groups that provide contraception and education to those areas. If they don't slow down, we're all screwed. However, just because we're growing at a slower pace in the west, it doesn't mean we're not growing. The answer to a growing population isn't to say "well, my contribution means so little that screw it, I'll have 5 kids."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/16 08:00 PM
4

Unfortunately, resources are global. Overpopulation effects everyone eventually.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/16 05:17 PM
3

Hah, sorry, not going to happen. Overpopulation and whatnot.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/16 05:07 PM
2

I'm not sure what this has to do with the conversation. But it's an....interesting glimpse into your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/16 04:50 PM
5

We started dating when we were really young. And then we both went to college, started our careers, etc. As unromantic as it sounds, we married with our heads, not so much our hearts. It was less "OMG I need to be your wife NOW!!!" and more making sure that we were compatible for the long haul.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/16 04:46 PM
5

It's rare, but not unheard of, especially if she's religious and looking for a religious guy. That's what my husband and I tried doing. We ended up dating for 8 years before we tied the knot, so eventually we just said "fuck it" and had sex. But it was years of dating before that happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/16 04:24 PM
11

Ideally, men and women would be valued for the same things: personal values, work ethic, temperament, etc. Birth control would exist for both men and women, so that it would take both partners' consent to make a baby. (Or both partners screwing up simultaneously, but that's unlikely.) Whoever has more nurturing traits should be the one staying home with the kids, even if it's the man. Barring an abusive situation, there should be a forced waiting period when you file for a divorce, and it includ…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/16 10:17 AM
1

It's both, and I definitely understand venting frustration. There is definitely sexism in the world, and it can cost someone jobs or opportunities. What I think is counter-productive is venting without any action. So, as an example, I remember seeing a HuffPost article with a woman telling men that they had no clue how it felt to be the "lesser" sex. To be objectified and cat-called. To be passed over for promotions and thought of as less intelligent. Was she right? Probably. But her article did…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/16 01:52 AM
1

Feminist blogs like Jezebel and Feministing are very vocal about female oppression. More mainstream sites like HuffPost and sometimes CNN feature opinion pieces in that vein. My social media feeds have a lot of these type of posts, but I admit that's because I do photoshoot work for a living, so my connections are lots of young (generally very liberal) women. A lot of them are very smart and talented, and working hard at what they do. The victim posts from these women just really bum me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/16 04:56 PM
1

It seems like in the last five years or so, this has gotten out of control. On social media, it's mostly feminists claiming that they're oppressed. In more anonymous settings like Reddit, MRAs do the same thing. In order to get people to care about you and your cause, you do need to initially elicit sympathy, so this makes some sense. But if it continues for too long, I think it just hurts your cause. As a teen/early 20's woman, I openly embraced the "Girl Power!" version of feminism. It was che…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/16 01:52 PM
2

The women I know who read romance novels are actually all married with kids. Sometimes I've wondered if it's an escape from the very un-romantic reality of life. Or maybe middle-age women just tend to enjoy the romance genre, who knows?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/16 01:28 PM
1

Both. Emo, lovelorn killer and deranged, charismatic killer both turn me on apparently. And now I feel like I should probably seek out some therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/16 03:17 PM
1

Tate and James March were fantastic! Actually about halfway through Hotel, the only scenes that made it worth watching anymore were his.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/16 03:10 PM
1

I'll agree, it's not necessarily his looks that do it for me. Like in X-Men, I don't find him attractive. I think he just does "crazy" so well, like in American Horror Story, that he suddenly becomes incredibly sexy to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/16 03:08 PM
2

Good picks. In Community, there's one episode where everyone strips down and of course, Joel McHale looks great, but I was like 'daaaaamn, look at Troy!' I also say that Adam Levine is hot...until he opens his mouth.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/16 01:43 PM
3

I have a definite "type", and that type is basically Evan Peters when he's playing a serial killer, so I think my list would be a little weird. But has anyone ever seen Brock O'Hurn? He's an IG 'celebrity' and he's so flippin beautiful that it doesn't even matter that he's more mainstream looking. That hair, those eyes, that body, he's gorgeous. Edit: And I just realized he's an actor! I need to start watching this guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/16 01:35 PM
3

Fix the birth rates??? The last thing this planet needs is for our birth rates to go up. Instead of trying to increase the rate of western births, we need to focus on slowing the rest of the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/16 03:54 PM
5

This is my whole issue with modern feminism. Even as recently as the 90's, feminism was about women being able to do what men could do. Remember all the Girl Power! bedazzled crap you could buy back then? Sure, it was tacky and goofy, but it was a decent message for little girls. Work hard, don't limit yourself, and there's no reason why you can't do "manly" things. But now, I have a really hard time still embracing feminism. It seems like it's been taken over by whiners. People who want to be s…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/16 02:20 PM
1

Well there you go, looks like those traits do work on some guys then.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/16 04:38 AM
1

Whenever it becomes acceptable to show more skin, society gets up in arms: ankles, calves, cleavage, thighs, side-boob.... But then it becomes normal, almost boring. The average person's body isn't anything special. If more women started going topless, breasts might become less sexualized. You'd still look at a celebrity or gorgeous women and think that their boobs are sexy, but normal breasts would lose some of their appeal I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/16 04:03 PM
2

I think I was uglier than her and definitely crazier This made me laugh. I get a kick out of your self-deprecating posts. Growing up, my sister was much prettier than I was, and she would get pissed off that I was asked out much more than her. I remember her yelling "It doesn't make sense, you're not even good looking!" I think what worked in my favor was that I was fairly interesting. I did "manly" sports like rock climbing and backpacking. I raced snowmobiles. I competed in robotics competitio…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/16 03:19 PM
3

Because every other aspect of the relationship is good. It's a tough call, I've definitely considered leaving. But I feel like it would be a foolish thing to do when really, sex dwindles in every relationship. Not quite this bad, or this early, but it would be like trading your old wife for a younger version every ten years. The problem just repeats itself. At least that's what I tell myself when I get super depressed about the whole situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/16 07:56 PM
10

I'm guessing you're not going to get a lot of people admitting to cheating. Looking through your responses, nobody has yet. But I'll be that asshole. I'm #2, and I've cheated. I suspect that if I was #1, I wouldn't have the need. But being #2, and being in a dead bedroom situation...sometimes you just need to get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/16 04:12 PM
4

I think it's a big mix of factors. If you're going out on a blind date, then you're more likely to be critical of someone's looks. If there's no physical attraction, it'll have a big impact on how you view them. If you've been friends with someone for a long time, and gotten to know their personality, it's easier to find them attractive even if their looks are so-so. If you're a 7, you could think a 5 is hot if they're funny or interesting. Once you start having sex, living together, getting mar…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/16 01:54 PM
2

That would be my guess for most of RPW. However, I've seen posts that are written by "reformed feminists" and I would assume the opposite for them. So I guess when the numbers come out, they would be a mix of those two opposite N-counts, so...average? Whatever that means.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/16 04:09 AM
5

I like this question. I've browsed RPW and wondered about these women. My guess is that they're mostly 25-35, religious, not highly educated. (Not that they're stupid, but they don't seem like the college-educated type.) I think many are stay-at-home-moms, and the ones that have a career aren't very ambitious with it. I would guess that most were raised in traditional families, and had decent relationships with their parents. But this could be wrong, I could see someone gravitating toward these …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/16 03:43 AM
1

I'm going to disagree with you. I'm pretty clear with them that nothing's going to happen (it's not that I don't care about them, I'm just not interested in sex/romance), and if they act clingy or flirty, I cut them loose. It's not good for them or me to keep that relationship. If you personally can't handle this type of relationship, then you need to be tough enough to call it quits when a girl says no. A lot of my guy friends have gone on to get girlfriends, get married, have kids...I'm not ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/16 02:35 PM
1

I've friendzoned a lot of guys, and I do actually care about them. If I didn't, I'd tell them I wasn't interested, and just stop hanging out with them. Friendzoning is only truly shitty if the guy has no idea that he doesn't have a chance. If a girl still flirts and leads him on, then she's probably using him for validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/16 05:10 AM
0

And pretty much all life "achievements". So true. And so depressing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/16 03:44 PM
1

I have seen the situation you're talking about (height issues), just not as much as the fat acceptance stuff. An example that would illustrate your point would be the gold digger term. If a woman wants a guy who's successful, she's usually attacked and called a gold digger. But come on, nobody wants to date a loser, it's normal to want someone successful! So I do agree with you, it comes from both genders. Everyone has their preferences, and those who get rejected are always going to lash out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/16 02:53 PM
2

I think we tend to mellow with age, (your #2 reason), so we're less hard on ourselves. Things that used to keep our egos in check can disappear. This may also be a newer trend. Women have careers, money, their own homes. As we get older, like men, we have more to be proud of. If a woman has her own home, is pulling in a decent salary, and has her life put together, she'll want the same in a partner. In previous generations, where women were usually stay-at-home-moms, they would have less in thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/16 05:09 AM
10

I've seen this with the fat acceptance movement. Overweight women calling men shallow if they can't see their "inner beauty" or love their curves. But overweight men are often called lazy or slobs. I think everyone's entitled to their preferences. If you only like blonde, fit bikini models, good for you. Doesn't mean that's what you'll get, but it also doesn't make you a shitty person for wanting it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/16 04:45 AM
4

Definitely, my Dad's a smart guy. I think sometimes there's too much focus on "I just want my kids to be happy." That's fine, but they need to be taught to look beyond happiness and make smart decisions as well. I think that this is advice that moms can (and often do) teach their daughters. But you're right that if it's a single mom, then it's advice that she probably never had for herself, so she wouldn't be able to pass it on.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/16 01:21 PM
10

That's the age-old question, isn't it? People are always asking long-term married couples, "What's the secret?" And it's always something different. Some couple tend to focus on their shared passions. Others are completely self-reliant and just enjoy having the companionship. Some just love having a family and grandchildren together. I think it's important to find someone that shares those values and long-term goals with you. Personally, I'm married, and have been with my husband for 12 years. M…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/16 03:48 AM
1

This would actually be the only time that I could rationalize cheating. Being married, and often hitting very long dry spells, I understand how devastating a dead bedroom can be. Especially when you're practically begging for sex and being rejected. "Just leave" is overly-simplified advice. Once you've built a life with someone, tearing it apart just for some booty isn't always the best option.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/16 06:09 PM
6

100% agree with you. Growing up in the sparkly, "Girl Power!" 90's, my view of feminism was that girls can do anything boys can do. It was frivolous and silly (I remember soooo much glitter!), but it was a good message. Recently the message has become more about how we're the victims, and how none of the problems plaguing our lives are our own fault. It's the patriarchy's fault. This is a terrible thing to teach young people, it removes all personal responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/16 04:23 PM
2

Isn't it more because prostitution is illegal? In all the ones around me, that's why they're shut down. Human trafficking is never mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/16 05:12 PM
0

Sure, but I wasn't referring to the human trafficking aspect at all. Just the way people who frequent these places are viewed.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/16 05:11 PM
2

These exist???? Well it's about damn time, sign me up! But yeah, I do agree, it's a double standard. We have a lot of happy-ending massage places where I live. They get shut down all the time, then reopened under new names. People generally laugh at the guys who go in, call them losers, creeps, etc. The tone of this article is very different. I guess we'll have to wait and see if these become mainstream, then see if the women who use them are laughed at.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/16 03:59 PM
1

I've read and reread your comment, and have no idea what you're talking about, or the point you're trying to make. This conversation is about the expectations we put on young people (men and women). What people are sexually attracted to is a different discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/16 03:55 PM
1

That's why I said SJW, not feminists. Also, I said they'd be happy, not that it was their main goal. Go lecture someone else, you and I are on the same side.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/16 12:43 AM
4

Alright, forget family then. I'll narrow this down to America (apologies if you're not American and this doesn't make sense). If you live in the Deep South or a flyover state, it's generally more conservative. So in that case, I'd agree with you. Not a lot of expectations on women. If you live in a big city, on the coasts, or in a more liberal area, expectations are high for both genders. Most countries get more liberal as time passes, so I expect these expectations for both genders to will cont…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/16 06:32 PM
4

If your family's values are still traditional, then yes, the woman doesn't necessarily need to make something of herself to be a "real woman". She does need to get married, keep a house, and have babies. But now, more girls are expected to go to college, get a job, and make something of themselves. There was a post a while back about how there's no equivalent term for "man child" for a woman, but we all knew someone who fit that sad, pathetic, aimless description. Like a real-life Amy Schumer ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/16 06:13 PM
9

Interestingly, he also states that "men have to intend to be a man,". For women, the intention is arbitrary. As at an early age, "womanhood happens...with her first menstruation she is a woman Up until this past century, this would have been accurate. Now, a girl getting her period is no more indicative of "becoming a woman" than a guy growing his first moustache is "becoming a man". When a woman's job was to pop out babies and take care of the home, yes "womanhood" was just something that happe…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/16 05:13 PM
3

The SJW crowd would probably be happy if all positions of power were held by women or POC. To the point where, I believe you're correct, it goes past equality. I believe they're inadvertently creating the very patriarchy they fear. This is an important point. When people fear the changes they see, there's a backlash. In America, look at our racial divide, how horrible it's gotten. I believe that it's partly because we elected our 1st black president, and many people's undercurrent of fear and an…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/16 04:59 PM
2

This is something I've been curious about since getting married. It's pretty rare that we'll do anything sexual (making out, grinding, even cuddling) where it doesn't turn in to sex. In college, I had a "no sex til marriage" rule, so that was an automatic stopping point. As kids/teenagers, most of us are too scared to take it all the way to sex, so we stop out of fear or ignorance on what to do. So, as an adult, when you're dating, is it normal to have a night of just kissing? Or going all the w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/16 04:43 PM
12

I get a kick out of being self-reliant. My husband and I don't even pool our money. It gives me that extra push to keep my business successful, keep my paychecks high. It might be nice for a little while to have some rich guy take care of me....but I think it would make me complacent and lazy in the long run.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/16 03:21 PM
21

Women pairing up with rich successful guys is nothing new, so I don't think it's going to have any real impact on society. What I do like is that it's more in the open. There are dating sites dedicated solely to this type of setup. The guy gets a hot girlfriend/wife and the girl gets an easy financial life. Though I wouldn't want this type of relationship for myself, as long as everyone's cards are on the table, and everyone's agreeable, I don't see anything wrong with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/16 03:10 PM
4

I love the power dynamics of sex, so I've played around with BDSM. It seems like a lot of really "alpha", powerful guys enjoy taking on the sub role. I think if someone has a stressful job where they're constantly making decisions, it can be a turn on for them to just let go and let someone else take over.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/16 05:01 AM
1

Ah, gotcha. I think that's generally the case, yeah. Very few people get their "dream jobs" and those who do often realize it's not as magical as they had hoped. But it's still a good thing to want (mostly for the financial benefits) and something to be proud of (for the amount of hard work and perseverance that goes into it).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/16 10:58 PM
1

I'm confused. Are you arguing that having a good job is a bad thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/16 10:54 PM
2

Wow. Well alright then, I guess we're done here. There's no need for me to wish any suffering on you, your attitude will attract misery all on its own. Best of luck, I hope one day you can turn things around for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/16 04:00 PM
2

I love sex, and generally, the more the better. What makes for a really bad time is when the other person isn't enthusiastic. If they're just going through the motions to make me happy, it's obvious, and it's a huge turn off. At that point, no sex is better. I can even deal with a guy being selfish (as long as it's not every single time) and it can still be fun as long as he's really excited about it. I think oral is better than PIV, but since my husband lacks the necessary enthusiasm, we don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/16 02:00 AM
2

I agree. But women used to be taught to keep sexual thoughts to themselves for fear of looking promiscuous. They weren't necessarily promiscuous or "slutty", they just feared that people would think that about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/16 12:45 AM
5

Absolutely! I think the RP focus on self-improvement is fantastic....until you realize that it's just self-improvement for the sake of getting laid. So when a guy follows RP advice (works out, gets a decent job, boosts his confidence) and then is still unable to get a date, he'll think of himself as a loser or a failure. When really, he's done a hell of a lot to improve himself and he should be proud of that. The focus on external validation isn't doing guys any favors.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/16 05:39 PM
3

Agreed, the people who have sex just because they love it are very different from the ones who are "broken" for lack of a better word. I have a salon, and all day I hear women talk about their love lives. Women like you seem to be the minority, but we have a few that just really love the release of sex. They're usually really confident, well adjusted, they seem like they could settle down without any issues if they wanted to. The ladies who have lots of sex for validation or numbness are a compl…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/16 03:12 PM
1

You're the guy that I was having the "nice guy" discussion with a day or two ago. I didn't necessarily agree with your position, but I had enough respect for it to ask you follow up questions and try to sympathize with your side of things. I think respect is different than politeness. Someone can be polite to your face and wish you'd drop dead. What I try to do is approach people with a level of respect (be understanding of viewpoints besides my own, don't assume the worst about someone). You're…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/16 02:51 PM
3

Oh absolutely. I'm not arguing that there isn't transactional sex. Men have more testosterone, they generally want sex more than women. OP was asking why someone would argue otherwise. I'm telling him why people would argue against him. It's not that he's completely wrong, it's just a case of NAWALT.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/16 07:51 PM
15

Well, out of 14 commenters, you have 3 women saying that they have either high sex drives or want one-night stands. Not a huge percentage, but these women do exist. You're asking how people can make this argument, that sex isn't a transaction. This is the answer. When both people want sex, it's not a transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/16 05:48 PM
16

If a woman doesn't want sex or have a high sex drive, then yes, it has a bartering feel to it. Sex is seen as the reward that the guy needs to work for. In our increasingly sex-positive culture (especially for women), more women are encouraged to be open about their desire for sex. I think the desire was probably always there, but it would be considered "slutty" to vocalize it. In my own marriage, my sex drive is much higher than my husband's. In cases where both partners want sex, there would b…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/16 05:31 PM
3

Well, generally I treat people with respect. So yes, if I found out that someone hated me irrationally, that would bother me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/16 03:03 PM
2

Yeah, but I need to base these opinions on something. This whole exercise is looking for clues and then making sweeping generalizations about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/16 02:59 PM
1

3 I originally thought 1, but the crucifix made me reconsider. If he's religious, he might not sleep around that much. 2 is sexy, but would appeal to a narrower group of women than 3. 4 is probably too damn busy for a lot of different women. 3 is attractive, fit, and has a job that requires a suit, so maybe makes a decent paycheck. He also has a "smarmy" face, he looks like he gets laid a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/16 05:42 AM
5

I've found that the more time I spend browsing PPD, the worse I tend to feel about myself, specifically how men feel about me. I suspect that eventually I'll just give it up completely. Before coming here, I had never spoken to men who were so open in their dislike (and sometimes hate) of women. I just try to remind myself that they're an angry minority with little bearing on my real life. Pease don't let the crap you read in here make you feel bad about yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/16 04:18 AM
4

What makes you think that's an rp position? I read RP as well as PPD. Even though it's not a core belief, it's echoed by many of it's members. If there's one thing society has shown, it does not revert backwards. In general, I agree. What I've noticed is that there are mini-shifts backwards. Look at Afghanistan for an example. In the 90's, women were doctors, lawyers... It wasn't a utopia by any means, but it was becoming more westernized. After the ultra-conservative Taliban moved in, all of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/16 11:29 PM
3

Well I'm sorry to hear that. But if you feel that way, why bother posting this? You're sort of arguing against your own point. Seems like "niceness" and "badness" have no bearing on sexual attraction. At least in your case.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/16 06:16 PM
2

Aw, that's depressing. I mean...if you want to try being a criminal to get some tail...best of luck to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/16 03:57 PM
10

If his story is true, I'd be shocked if this girl doesn't have someone else on the side. That'd be my first reaction (well, actually I'd probably bail on this guy). Smile sweetly, say "Yes, honey, you screwing other girls while I wait up for you sounds great!" Then as soon as he leaves, get in the car and meet my own plates at the nearest hotel.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/16 03:46 PM
8

This seems a little extreme. The type of person that this study is describing sounds unstable: criminal activity, has weapons, gang member... It doesn't surprise me that "fucks lots of bitches" would be on that checklist as well. So, if you want to join a gang and have lots of trashy women, sure, this "don't be nice" strategy could work. It will probably also ruin your life. If you want a more normal life, I'd recommend being a decent human being and finding some other way besides committing cri…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/16 03:31 PM
0

I agree, I think currently, women's "power" comes from the legal side of things. When it comes to divorce, parental rights, diversity quotas, etc, women have the advantage. Men's "power" comes from their social standing. Things like reproductive rights, the wage gap, threat of rape or attack, etc, these are things men usually don't have to worry about. What bothers me is when we make strides (on both sides) to make thing more equal, and people still complain. In California, when you get a divorc…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/16 03:22 PM
1

Great, thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/16 02:55 PM
1

Someone already mentioned it, but when you make a survey post, it would be much more interesting (and better for discussion) if you charted the results later. I've seen a few of these posts lately, and jumping between the questions up top and the one-word answers below isn't particularly interesting. Not that you necessarily give a damn what I think, but there's my two cents.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/16 05:25 AM
4

Yeah, this might be a general lack of empathy in society. We don't want to acknowledge others' pain and problems if they don't affect us. But we're all too eager to say how our own hardships are much worse. In PPD, these problems just get boiled down to bitching about whether it's worse being a man or woman in modern society. It's a losing battle, both genders have their issues, and empathy/understanding is definitely limited here.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/16 05:20 AM
1

Interesting question. You could argue that income doesn't matter if someone is really attractive or sexy, or has a good enough personality. But let's say that a guy is incredible in every single way except for income. At what point is he no longer high SMV? I'd argue that it's the point where he can't support himself. I don't care how hot someone is. Being a leech kills any attraction. So living frugally, that might mean 40k in Boston, 75k in Silicon Valley?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/16 12:02 AM
1

Ah. Well, I'm not sure the younger guys would be any better. Where are you finding these guys? It sounds like you might be happier with a more nerdy or "beta" type of guy. I saw that you made another post about race. And to be fair, I have heard other black women say the same thing: that it's harder for them because there aren't many "good black men" and that other races don't like black women. If that's the case, you'd probably want to become friends with a guy first through shared interests. M…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/16 10:39 PM
1

I think part of the issue may be that you're only looking at guys under 20. They're young, they're stupid, they're not looking to settle down and be serious. Of course it's going to be a headache if you're looking for an actual partner. I'm not sure what a good solution would be...maybe look for baby-faced men in their 30's? My husband and I don't want children, but we still both prefer marriage to singledom. Life has a lot of ups and downs, and having a reliable partner by your side makes the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/16 09:47 PM
32

I doubt you're going to see many people who have made the complete switch from one pill to the other. But I came to PPD as a Blue Piller (feminist) mostly out of curiosity. And partly because I was growing tired of the pity party (We're always the victims!!) attitude of the feminist sites I was reading. My views have definitely swung towards the center, so I guess Purple Pill? I'll never go full Red Pill- I don't think women are subservient childlike imbeciles. And I don't want us to revert back…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/16 06:29 PM
4

Absolutely. I'm not sure if this was such a "thing" decades ago, but the quest for happiness seems to be a little out of control nowadays. People, young and old, are chasing happiness as their main goal. While being happy is wonderful, it should be a by-product of success in other areas: Be good at your job. Nurture your relationships. Make a difference in a kid's life. Create art that inspires people. If happiness is our main goal, we do things like this woman. Leave our spouses at the first si…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/16 09:10 PM
1

Well that seems a little extreme. I think for an incel to turn their life around, they have to actually want to change, and be the driving force behind it. There's not much that a normal person can do for them. Maybe steer them toward the nearest psychiatrist?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/16 10:27 PM
1

Exactly! Vibrator /= Robot. If I knew that anyone, man or woman, had a life-size sex robot just chillin' in their closet, I'd think they were a little weird. But to each their own, I guess. If you can't find anyone to sleep with you, and you'd rather look at a Real Doll than your ceiling...whatever floats your boat.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/16 12:53 PM
1

There was a thread a while ago about how to help omegas and incels when you're actually friends with them in real life. And the general consensus was that nobody knew what the hell to do. If you try to hook them up with someone, they inevitably blow it. I've taken guy friends shopping for new clothes, gotten them haircuts, etc. They usually don't bother to maintain it. And if you get too friendly with them, and get down to the nitty gritty about why they're down on themselves, they take the atte…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/16 12:40 PM
2

Totally agree with you. We've been doing separate finances for our entire marriage, and it's been amazing. Neither one of us was willing to give up control of our money, and this just made sense to us. I love the feeling of being financially self-reliant (even though we team-up on big stuff).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/16 02:21 AM
1

In the section where the author can't get her husband to initiate, I thought it was actually decent advice. (Minus the "I feel especially erotic" bit.) I'm more "alpha" than my husband, which works in day-to-day life. But his sex drive is at 0, we pretty much have a dead bedroom. I have seriously tried everything I could possibly think of, short of doping him up with testosterone. The only thing that seems to make a difference is acting ultra feminine. Wearing a short dress with cute lingerie, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/16 02:56 PM
7

Look around you. Look at the audience for 50 Shades of Grey, Magic Mike, etc. Even movies not directly marketed to women are getting in one the game. Jurassic World and Guardians of the Galaxy...plenty of gratuitous half naked Chris Pratt. In the Avengers, it's not Black Widow that loses her shirt, it's Ironman and Captain America. Look at ANY movie with Zac Efron. Women are sexual and sometimes downright pervy, and the media is finally catching on. I'm not sure if you feel otherwise because wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/16 04:56 PM
9

Dude...no. I'm willing to stretch into red or blue territory to find common ground with people in these debates, but you're way off the mark. The worst part of all this is your "nice boobs" comment defense. By your logic, sexual harassment should be okay, right? You're just appreciating a woman, right? Wrong. Please stop doing this. It's creepy as hell. Another part where I disagree is your insistence that women can't understand how men crave sex. I'm a little frustrated that people still feel t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/16 03:07 PM
3

Agreed. The article only showed guys looking at fat vs thin women, not the other way around. But a good chunk of men (35% in America I believe) are obese as well. What I tend to see in real life is fit people finding other fit people, and obese people marrying other obese people.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/16 04:48 PM
2

I'll disagree. I've dated my fair share of (male) butter faces. Even though we're only talking about looks, a fit, muscular body is going to make a guy hold himself differently. He's going to look tougher, more confident. It also shows that he took the time to dedicate himself to a workout, which shows that he's not the type to slack off or make excuses. A pretty face is just luck. Even if you don't look at someone and consciously think these things, you're going to be attracted to them because …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/16 12:52 AM
1

If you look through the rest of this thread, you'll see that we've been hashing out this question. It's a complicated issue. Some western nations' population growth is slowing , so that's great. Asian and African nations are booming, which isn't so great. The best-case scenario would be educating those countries on population control and providing contraceptives. Unfortunately, many traditional cultures and religions prohibit birth control. So, that brings us back to the Western world, specifica…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/16 09:14 PM
2

Yeah, the rest of the world's population will need to catch on eventually...or just die out from starvation/limited resources. But it is sort of sad/ironic that the people who actually give a shit are the ones giving up passing on their genes. Ah well, whatcha gonna do?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/16 01:25 PM
1

For a lot of people, there's a huge power component to sex. Even in the most basic sex, there's going to be a "top" and "bottom". When you push it a little further, you can get a "dom/sub" relationship, and I think a rape fantasy is just pushing the power dynamic as far as it can go before it becomes an actual rape. Like you said, it's a kink. If someone's not into it, it's going to be hard to explain to them why it's sexy. From personal experience on both sides of this relationship, I've found …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/16 11:27 AM
1

As a kid, I would tell anyone who would listen that I wished I was a boy. I cut off my hair, wore boy clothes, and some kids even referred to me with a boy's name. I'm actually really grateful that my parents weren't as accepting as parents nowadays seem to be, because had they asked me if I wanted to transition, I probably would have said yes, then been too embarrassed to reverse that decision later. After puberty, I was still a tomboy, but I no longer wanted to be a boy. Being a girl and doing…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/16 01:46 PM
2

Yeah, I've wrestled with that a little bit. Am I actually helping to make things worse? I used my own experience to decide not to have kids. My very religious parents had 6 children. They're uneducated, born-again Christians that think the more kids, the better. I (and my siblings) learned our views from school. We're interested in science and math and we realized that there was a big population issue. I do believe that we were exceptions to the rule, but it gives me hope that kids born to unedu…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/16 01:02 PM
2

Interesting...do you not believe that we have an overpopulation problem or do you think people are just incapable of caring about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/16 12:54 PM
2

As Highog said, generally an American is going to be worse for the environment than say, an Ethiopian. I have heard your argument though, that if the people who care about this issue stop reproducing, then they're not passing on their values. I agree to an extent, but I never learned these lessons from my (religious) parents. Quite the opposite actually, they have 6 kids. I learned it from school, looking at the population charts showing exponential growth. While I don't love the idea of white p…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/16 12:45 PM
1

Yeah, I sort of see it as "someone's got to take one for the team". African and Asian nations have explosive growth, and sadly, even if every affluent, first-world couple decided to limit their family size, our population would still continue to grow. It would take a global effort to curb population growth, which will probably never happen. I've actually heard white couples talk about having lots of kids so that the world isn't devoured by Asians and Hispanics. It's...frustrating. We're screwing…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/16 02:38 AM
6

Yeah, we're going to wait a few more years (max 35 for me) and make sure we're okay with the decision. But frankly, someone's got to take one for the team and stop popping out babies. I figure that if I don't have a great urge to be a mom, I shouldn't add one more person to the world. I wish (for future generations' sake) that more people felt this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/16 01:31 AM
2

Both white. I'm not sure if this is where you're leading with this...but it does seem like more white people are in the "no kids" or "less kids" mindset now. Unless they're religious.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/16 01:28 AM
3

29 and the husband's 31.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/16 01:26 AM
15

My husband and I do not plan on having children. (Mostly from a population-control standpoint.) But I have noticed that after I hit 25, during the time of the month when I'm physically able to have a baby, I crave one. I'll dream about them, and I'll find other people's babies much cuter than I normally do. I just remind myself that it's hormones, and eventually the feeling passes. I don't know if this is a common feeling, but I would guess that a lot of women have at least a tiny shred of "baby…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/16 02:06 PM
2

I think I gave you the wrong impression. I don't really want him to change, I pretty much like him as-is. He's older than me. Very smart, competitive and driven at work, but less so at home. There are times that I'll wish he was more "manly", but overall our balance is working. For me to start submitting to him, or for him to suddenly become alpha would ruin what we have going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/16 02:01 AM
3

TRP has some valid points, and I do like that it encourages guys to constantly be improving themselves. Good advice for anyone, really. My main issue with it is that seems like a lot of the anti-women sentiment is setting guys up for failure. A common theme is how irrational or childlike women are. By telling men how to approach a childlike woman, RP is basically setting him up for failure with an accomplished, intelligent woman. A lot of the advice is also geared toward quick hookups, but then …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/16 10:33 PM
3

12 years together, 4 of those married. With my personality, I like that he's more beta. I think two take-charge, super motivated, competitive people might just be too crazy. There are some things that I wish he was more aggressive/assertive in. Sex comes to mind. But unless I went through a huge change in mindset, I think I need someone like him.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/16 09:17 PM
3

I'm pretty BP, but I find myself looking at RP because in my relationship, I'm the more alpha partner. I ignore the stuff that says "Women are simple-minded creatures" and focus on what RP guys have done to fix certain relationship problems. Having a more beta partner, sometimes their advice is pretty good, even though the genders are reversed. So yes, I think RP would be less hated if it wasn't so strict in its gender roles, because I can vouch that it will work in the opposite direction as wel…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/16 02:52 PM
1

Aw, that's sad. I'm pretty sure most people aren't like that. It hurts my female friendships as well, so I don't think most women are okay with that sort of behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/16 09:24 PM
4

Back when I was dating, my super-competitiveness screwed me over quite a bit. I got a ton of guys because I could hang with them physically, but over a long period of time, I was too intense. And very unforgiving of their weaknesses. If I asked a guy on a mountain-climbing date and he fell apart halfway up, I wasn't super cool about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/16 07:52 PM
1

That's awesome, congrats! (On your happy ending, not the crap beforehand.) I think your situation, where people saw what was happening and pointed it out, might be the wake-up call a lot of people need. We have a tendency to protect our friends and family from the harsh truth, assuring them that their exes are assholes and they can do better. But sometimes we all just need a dose of tough love.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/16 07:47 PM
43

I don't think it's a problem with men in general. Whenever I hear a woman say "Where have all the good men gone?" or "All men are abusive assholes," I generally assume that the issue is with them. The equivalent on the male side would be the guy whose exes are all "crazy bitches." One or two bad exes is understandable. A pattern of "crazy" or "abusive" exes should be a sign that you need to take a good long look in the mirror. Some people are just terrible at relationships and don't have the sel…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/16 04:57 PM
1

I can see your point. An accomplished brain surgeon is going to have more status than an equally-driven DDR champion. But I don't think you need a lot of women in your field necessarily. For instance, I have 2 super geeky friends. One is one of those uber-military guys. An ROTC nerd. All he ever wanted to do was fly. So he trained hard, got his wings, then worked his ass off to save up for his own plane. He bought the old-school goggles and bomber jacket and just zips around in his plane all day…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/16 03:11 PM
1

Fair enough. I think PPD might often show the worst sides of RP because it's a debate sub. So many discussions boil down to "Women only care about looks and money! Nobody will ever love me for me!" That's why I liked this post so much, it had more substance behind it, and I think it's a little truer to how the world works.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/16 02:54 PM
1

Well, duh. If you want someone who's not just interested in a quick hookup, don't go to a nightclub.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/16 02:51 PM
1

It's funny that you picked that one. I went to college for engineering...almost all of my boyfriends were ugly robot designers.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/16 02:50 PM
1

They don't need to be the best in their activity, (although that's a nice bonus). They just have to want to be the best. I agree with you, there are a lot of passionate failures in the world, not everyone accomplishes their dreams. I have a mountaineering background, and I climb with a lot of incredibly passionate people. The rich dude who summited Everest just for an ego boost is way less attractive than the guy who's been climbing his whole life for the sheer love of it, but was never able to …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/16 02:49 PM
2

I agree with this, though I suspect you'll be ripped apart by RP guys claiming that looks and money are all that matters. To me, the most attractive trait in a man is laser-focus on something he's really interested in. Doesn't matter if it's BASE jumping, robot design, beekeeping...the activity itself isn't really important. Just the intense drive and focus, the need to be the best in whatever field they've chosen. It's incredibly sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/16 04:32 AM
5

You're absolutely right. The focus needs to be more on developing nations. Otherwise it's pointless. I've even heard people use that as an excuse for popping out so many babies: "Well we can't let the damn Chinese take over the world! I'm just making sure white people don't go extinct!" It needs to be recognized as a global problem. With so many traditional, conservative countries around the globe, I'm guessing that'll be a long time coming, if ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/16 05:48 PM
10

This is our exact reason for not wanting kids. When I was born, the population was 5 billion, in school I always heard it was 6, and now we've passed 7. In one (short) lifetime! That's insane! It took 170,000 years to hit the first billion. China got a ton of crap for their one-child policy, but if we don't slow down, eventually a lot more countries are going to have to try something similar. I've never heard that overpopulation leads to homosexuality before. I think I'll use this argument on my…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/16 01:06 PM
1

I think money management is too serious of an issue to break down to "Always surrender your money to your husband." Some guys are terrible with budgeting, financial planning, or just math in general. Each couple needs to decide what's best for them. If you do intend to give your spouse all your money, I would recommend that you insist on still having access to the accounts, not just given an "allowance". You should at least be aware of how much money you have in the bank and have a general idea …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/16 12:52 PM
1

1 is uncomfortable but definitely not assault. 2 and 3 I think could technically be called sexual assault, but I don't think any legal action against them would hold up. There was no touching of genitals, and from these scenarios, it seems like it was a one-time thing. If the guy had a history of touching her and she had said "I don't like this, please stop," then there would be an issue. This sort of circles back to the Affirmative Consent thread yesterday. If a guy wants to make a move, even a…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/16 03:02 PM
2

Thanks for sharing, this sounds really good. I think modern feminism has definitely gone overboard with turning women into victims. It's been a huge turn-off as I've gotten older. This sounds like it would be right up my alley.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/16 11:08 PM
2

Maybe I'm being obtuse, but I don't see how most of these sexual identities are on the asexual spectrum. Almost all of them involve being sexually attracted to people, which makes you not asexual...right?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/16 11:04 PM
5

I just learned about demisexuals and sapiosexuals too. The need to slap a label on every particular quirk or preference is ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/16 11:01 PM
3

Yeah, but I don't think something like a raised eyebrow is going to hold up in court should things take a turn for the worse. That's the problem. Same with "Does this feel good?" "Do you want me to fuck you?" is good though, that one's pretty black and white.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/16 08:43 PM
4

I agree that all of these, with the exception of Affirmative Consent are men pining for the Good Old Days. Claiming that cheating, or hurting another person or dating a child are okay is ridiculous. That's (thankfully) not the world we live in anymore, time to get with the times. The one that's tricky is Affirmative Consent. I've said before that if I was a guy I'd be terrified every time I sleep with a new woman. I agree that breaking the mood to ask "Are you sure this is okay?" is a bummer. An…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/16 07:14 PM
1

Exactly right. I sincerely hope nobody tries to live their life 100% alpha or beta, red or blue. That's a losing battle right there. But for motivational purposes, having two sides pitted against each other will always work best for getting people riled up.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/16 01:59 AM
3

Very interesting, thanks for posting. To answer OP, marital love, or Pragma is definitely possible. The butterflies-in-your-stomach, and aching-lust stages of love fade over time. Sad but true. Long-term love is deeper than these, but definitely less exciting. Sometimes I do wish we could go back to that initial spark, but overall, I really enjoy the comfort and closeness of being in love for a long period of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/16 03:32 PM
3

I forgot about 69! For whatever reason, that was THE thing in high school. Everyone talked about it. When I finally gave it a try, it was such a disappointment! First off, if you're the wrong heights, forget about it. Second, you're trying to make him happy, so you're completely oblivious to what he's doing to you. And probably vice versa. So everyone's putting in a ton of effort and nobody's happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/16 12:31 AM
2

Oral was a nice surprise, both giving and receiving. Receiving for obvious reasons, it feels amazing. Giving because you get to watch someone completely lose their shit just because you're touching them the right way. That's pretty incredible. Intercourse itself was a bit of a letdown. I think I had watched too much porn, where the girl orgasms multiple times without any kind of foreplay/fingering/oral. Very unrealistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/16 12:07 AM
3

Agreed. The financial aspects of a (successful) marriage are huge. I think less people would buy homes and less people would be willing to have children without two stable incomes that could be counted on. Or, one income, and one stay-at-home provider. I was thinking about the commitment ceremony thing...I wonder if eventually that would just lead back to marriages. So, let's say everyone stop getting married. To prove your undying love, you have a commitment ceremony instead. This becomes the n…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/16 06:20 PM
2

For real? No offense, but it sounds like you're just looking for reasons to see this girl. Finding a new lunch place isn't that big of a deal. Maybe you come on a little strong, so when she sees you, she acts like a crazy person because she's scared or nervous around you?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/16 03:29 AM
1

Stop hanging out with her. It's not good for her (she sounds like she's having a panic attack every time she sees you) and it's definitely not good for you. It sounds like there's more to this story, like what the hell is an "eccentric interaction?" And why is she so weirded out by you? But regardless of your history, stop going to see her at work. Stop hanging out. This sounds really unhealthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/16 03:24 AM
2

Coming from MA, I only knew one person like this. Strangely, it was a guy. Moving to CA, you're absolutely right, the crazies are everywhere. And not just aggressive leftists, like OPs talking about (although they're probably the majority), there are all sorts of wacky ideas floating around here.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/16 02:52 PM
1

Yup, American. I think we tend to have a "We're #1!" attitude about a lot of things over here. But as far as being the best country for women, we rank way behind a lot of European countries. This election cycle especially, a lot of ugly opinions about women have been surfacing, it's a little depressing. But thanks for the link/info, cool stuff!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/16 04:04 PM
2

Of course, many times! I try to be as supportive and non-naggy as possible. If I rub it in his face, I know it'll have the opposite effect of what I'm shooting for. I'm out of ideas. Maybe I need to pay some super hot chick to start flirting with him, boost his self-esteem for a while. I think that's the worst part. Once you start getting down on yourself, your motivation for anything disappears.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/16 02:51 PM
1

I've never heard of this show, but that's a good idea. Showcasing cool, smart women. Most of our tech role models are men: Jobs, Musk, Zuckerberg, Gates. This year, BattleBots tried to include a lot more women in their lineup. They made a big deal out of showing off a black woman, she was in all of their promos. They must have been thrilled to have a minority woman in their sea of white men. When the show finally aired, not only was this woman not one of the engineers, but she wasn't even a driv…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/16 02:41 PM
3

Thank you! I'll check it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/16 12:42 AM
2

Thanks. Part of me is like "Buck up, it's only sex, you'll survive." But on his end, he's got to be feeling pretty miserable inside. As much as I want to fix it for him, it seems like one of those things he has to do for himself. Poor dude needs therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/16 12:27 AM
4

There was some other thread where I was talking about this, and I jokingly said I was going to sprinkle testosterone pills (Is this even a thing?) into his food. I think that would help him. No, he doesn't work out. Trying to get him on a quick hike is like pulling teeth. So that's hurting him in multiple ways. Bigger waistline, lower self-esteem, less energy, less sex drive. As soon as someone lets themselves get out of shape, it's a self-defeating cycle. I'm not really either pill, but I was g…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/16 12:23 AM
4

He cares. (I hope so anyway.) He has a really low sex drive, body issues, low self-esteem...it's not good. So on the rare occasion that he can muster up the strength for sex, he's not very confident in himself. Which is too bad, because he used to be really good. I have no idea how things went downhill so quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/16 10:43 PM
7

I guess I don't know. It probably would have depended on how good/interesting the sex was. From all the non-intercourse action I did get, I know that everyone has their own style, fetishes, aggression levels....I just wish I had gotten to experience more of that. My first guy was awesome, very much into power-play but also very focused on my enjoyment. My husband, I love him to death, but he's kind of a dud in the bedroom. I feel like there's a lot more to experience out there. If I was with a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/16 10:24 PM
11

I grew up in a very religious household, so I was taught "no sex before marriage" and I decided to take it as "no intercourse before marriage". Some peers took it to the extreme of not even kissing, but that seemed crazy to me. I think I got lucky with the guys I dated. I had several boyfriends in my teens/early 20's and they were generally accepting. We would still do everything up to sex, so it wasn't like we were completely starved for affection. I broke my "vow" in my mid-20's to a guy that …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/16 09:39 PM
2

Someone else made this comment as well. I half agree. Yes, I'm sure they would love that 50/50 split of men to women. And maybe some raging feminists would love to force everyone into those positions to get the numbers they want. But I don't think most feminists would advocate forcing people into a career that's not right for them. The things they're fighting for are more cultural shifts. So, on a girly TV show, advertising K'NEX instead of Barbies. Having Girl Scout troops participate in FIRST …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/16 08:44 PM
1

I'm not arguing with you on that. That probably is pretty accurate. They'd be very happy if it was a 50/50 split. But that doesn't negate my point. They're hoping that enough women will choose to go into STEM fields if they're exposed to them or encouraged to pursue them early on. But if a woman decides she'd rather be a teacher or a politician, or hell, a dog-walker, no rational person is going to try to force them into STEM instead. So yes, they do want a 50/50 split, but not to force women in…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/16 08:17 PM
1

Yeah, he has to want to change. It's not something you can force on someone. Ah well, what are you gonna do? If not getting laid enough is my biggest problem, I honestly don't have it that bad. That's why porn and vibrators were invented.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/16 04:52 PM
1

They're in for an explosive evening.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/16 03:18 PM
4

In regards to STEM, feminism's goal is more about choice and opportunity. They're not trying to force non-willing women into STEM fields. They wants young girls to be aware that it's an option, and they want college grads to be given the same consideration for jobs as their male counterparts. I'm not sure what jobs are available to someone with a Women's Studies degree, but I would guess that taking math or science classes beyond what's required would just be a waste of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/16 03:15 PM
1

Yeah, good point. What he really needs is therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/16 02:13 PM
4

Oh my God, YES! When your SO has a low sex drive, it's a special kind of hell. Not only would I take advantage of this constantly, but I would do all the kinky shit that he hates. I never thought sex was such a big deal until it slowly disappeared.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/16 05:03 AM
3

Aw, this makes me sad. Korean dude and blonde guy are super cute. Are they hotter with the photoshopping? Yeah, for sure. But I also like them in their natural states. Not gonna lie, I was super into Korean dude's excessive thrusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/16 08:54 PM
1

At the risk of sounding like the worst person alive, I have tried to sleep with him when his inhibitions were lowered. So, if he's been drinking or if he's drugged up on Nyquil or Ambien. And he has flat out told me that it's rape. And he's not wrong, technically speaking it's marital rape. He's awake while it's happening, so I assumed it was fine, but one time he didn't even remember it the next day, so I felt super shitty about that. Soooo, after he pointed that out to me, I felt like the worl…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/16 07:14 PM
9

I had the same reaction as you. "Uhhh, seriously? What the hell do you think is going to happen?" Of course you'd be pissed.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/16 04:15 PM
8

I don't mind the RP guys. There are some really thoughtful men in here that just want to be heard, and will be respectful of different opinions. There are definitely the complete opposite, but I try not to engage with them. In any group, there are bad eggs. If anyone seems to be firmly stuck in the "I hate women, women are the source of all evil" mindset, they're not worth the trouble of trying to debate or discuss a topic. If someone is open and puts thought into their posts, I'm happy to talk …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/16 03:59 PM
2

Well that's depressing. For both of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/16 10:12 PM
4

Yeah, I've read that he longer someone goes without sex, the more their body starts to get used to it. That's why I've been offering the BJs. It's a way to keep him used to sex without making him feel terrible about his weight/body issues/sex drive. I hear women complain about fat shaming, so that's what I'm trying to avoid. It doesn't sound like the kind of thing that would make someone eager to take their clothes off. For sex where I get something in return, it seems like more effort than he's…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/16 05:00 PM
5

I'm much more active, he's a bit of a couch potato. He's 31, and the lack of activity is starting to make him gain weight. He knows that it's making him want sex even less, but doesn't seem motivated to change. I'm trying not to harp on him, because I know that'll have the opposite effect of what I want. I thought "leading by example" might motivate him, but it's not working at all. For sex, I'll always initiate. I'll even just let him lay there like a slug and give him a BJ (thinking that might…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/16 02:58 PM
1

If everyone knows what's going on, it's fine. I know women who do the same thing. I'm not sure if a "plate" refers to just a sexual partner, or a long term partner. If it can mean either, then I don't know too many women that would be okay being a long-term plate. However, if they're into it, and everyone knows that there are other partners, there's nothing wrong with it. Different strokes for different folks.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/16 02:36 PM
5

I agree with this. Living near our families, I thought it was great to have our "support system" nearby. I didn't realize how much of a stress they were on our relationship until we moved cross-country. Without them around, we're a closer, tighter unit.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/16 02:31 PM
7

Geez. Well, whatever you're doing, it's working. That's an awful lot of stress to put on one couple. Most would call it quits. I agree, facing things as a united team makes all the difference. Congrats on holding it together.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/16 02:28 PM
8

Depression (both spouses): This is an ongoing challenge. We're both workaholics who don't spend enough time stopping to smell the roses. Thankfully, our bad moments tend to go in shifts. We're rarely both sad at the same time. The person who's doing okay will nurture the other one, even dragging them out of the house if need be. Different Hobbies: My husband loves being home, watching TV. I'm an adrenaline junkie. This was such an issue for him that he admitted almost not marrying me because of …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/16 02:26 PM
4

I agree with you, there's some decent advice here that gets taken too far. I've been with the same guy for over a decade and we're pretty happy, so here's my two cents. What does respecting your husband entail in day to day interactions? I defer to him in areas that I know he's more competent in. For example he's more handy, I'm better with finances. I'll trust him completely with fixing the dishwasher. If we have a money issue, I'll deal with it in a way that doesn't make him look/feel stupid. …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/16 03:34 AM
2

I can think of three different scenarios where these would be a great thing: "Forever Alone" people. This one's pretty obvious. If you can't find true love, getting consistent sex is a nice consolation prize. If you have anxiety in relationships, this may even be preferable. Dead Bedrooms. This is a safe alternative to spending the rest of your life in a sexless marriage. If your spouse is unable to perform (age, hormones, sickness, etc), your sexual needs can still be met. Pedophiles. I know, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/16 03:13 PM
7

This was the advice my dad gave me before I got married. Find a man that you respect, it's more important than any other quality. Everything else will fall into place. While a lot of people tend to think that's unromantic, I think it was amazing advice. It's impossible to love someone that you do't respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/16 04:25 AM
6

In terms of finding a date, easier. In addition to your social circle, you know have dating sites, Tinder, etc. To maintain a relationship, I would guess that it's harder for both sexes. Our lives are busier, your date has a ton of other options, traditional roles are breaking down. For men, I suspect that it's difficult to know how "manly" or chivalrous to be without coming across as condescending. And then there's sex. For men, I'd be curious to know if you're ever nervous about getting drinks…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/16 03:35 PM
1

Yeah, in general, the author swings a little too far toward subservience for my taste. You're right about important issues being team-oriented. Obviously it would not be good if you came home one day and your SO said, "Hey honey, today I quit my job and bought a vacation home in Anchorage." Since I only have this little blurb to go on, I assume (I hope?) that the author encourages teamwork for big things. But for smaller ones, I think focusing on yourself is fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/16 02:42 PM
8

Like any self-help book, there are some good nuggets in a mess of nonsense. I haven't read this one either, but I see people reference it often. So my thoughts are just based on your mini-review. Good points: This book is centered around changes that you can make on your own, rather than changes you make as a team. I know this was something that you disliked about the book, but to me, it makes sense. It's better to focus on the things that you can control, then to worry about another person. Stu…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/16 02:33 AM
1

Yeah, power couples seem to be more okay with this. Jay-Z/Beyonce, and the Clintons come to mind. I think they know that they're always going to be better as a unit. They're success is partially because they're so strong together. I think we tend to see married people as more competent than single ones. (Not necessarily true, but I think that's the general public's perception.) If Trump were to win the presidency, for example, I doubt he would ever leave Melania for a younger model while he's in…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/16 07:04 PM
1

Yeah, a little. It was more sad than anything. But it definitely made me think of him as a pushover.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/16 04:57 PM
1

Yeah, it is a pretty crappy thing to ask. I think that's why I've been downvoted. (I was goofing around with him, guys! Lighten up!) But that's the response I was expecting. Some smart-ass version of "I'd dump your ass so fast your head would spin." I was shocked to hear that he'd stay.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/16 03:48 PM
2

Well yeah, I would hope so. Who wants to be with a cheater?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/16 03:27 PM
3

Men are, however, much more willing to put up with much, MUCH more shit and deprivation in a relationship than women are. I was watching a TV show with my husband where a woman was cheating. Not being totally serious, I asked him if he would leave if he caught me doing that. He got this super sad look on his face and muttered, "Probably not." I know that's not indicative of all men, but geez, that was such a heartbreaking thing to hear. I don't think I would be so forgiving.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/16 03:20 PM
1

This seems like a healthy mix of things that RP and BP would consider good advice. A lot of it is more traditional, especially when it comes to sex. All the "feelings" stuff feels more BP though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/16 03:14 PM
2

Right, I guess I'm saying that you don't even need to weed through the muck though. I could be wrong, I could have just gotten super lucky in my life. But a lot of my friends (men and women) are still dating, and nothing even close to alpha-ness, SMV, N-count, etc. ever comes up in conversation. The things that are blown out of proportion in here are insignificant in the real world.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/16 02:37 PM
1

As part of a couple with wildly different sex drives, (mine is high, his is low) I can attest that it can be very unpleasant and hurtful at times. We've made it work for 12 years because we really love each other and we have similar values, morals, etc. I think we have a good relationship, we enjoy each other very much, but the infrequent sex keeps it from being an amazing relationship. Asking for sex and being denied is incredibly demoralizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/16 02:40 AM
7

The nice thing about the real world is that I've never met people like this out there. These red vs. blue, men vs. women thoughts are (thankfully) pretty much not part of my life. If people really do think them, they keep it to themselves. Like you, I find all this stuff very interesting to read about, but not really applicable to real-world events. So I guess no, I wouldn't go gay to avoid it, because it's definitely not necessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/16 02:32 AM
1

Yeah, they're different things for sure. But have you ever gone up to someone and said "Hey, I really like you," and just left it at that? I think that would be sort of weird, like something you do as a kid. Normally, you would follow it up immediately with, "Can I buy you a drink?" or "Can I take you out sometime?" So the first date comes pretty soon after the expression of interest, which is why I lumped them together.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/16 02:25 AM
1

Absolutely, that's the time to really get to know someone. I just don't think it hurts to know a little bit about her beforehand. Is she painfully shy/hates crowds? Maybe take her to a quiet bar where she doesn't have to stare straight at you for 2 hours. Does she love the outdoors? Take her on a hike, set up a picnic. Good dancer, loves to party? Go to a club. I think thats the difference between a mediocre first date and a special one. It helps to know just a little bit about them beforehand.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/16 02:49 PM
2

I think a lot of people are now embracing anti-monogamy. I read a few other sites, and it seems like young women are all about it. I'll admit, that could just be because they can't find a guy to settle down with, so rather than admit defeat, they say "Yay, single ladies 4Eva!!!" But on the surface, it seems like a lot of people agree with you. Human beings are supposed to get together, provide good genes, then raise the kid for a few years and break up. Supposedly, this is where our 7-year itch …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/16 12:42 AM
1

I'm not suggesting that you would want a relationship. It doesn't matter to me if you sleep with a new woman every night for the rest of your life. My comment was talking about the posts that are specifically about relationships. In these posts, women (and sometimes men) will say that they are looking for traits that aren't sex-specific. Intelligence, humor, whatever. And they will often get called liars or told they are flat-out wrong. I was expressing frustration with the people who were calli…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/16 12:04 AM
3

I see this a lot. I understand that RP is about sexual strategy, but a lot of the questions/posts in here are about relationships. Sex is a huge part of a relationship, but it's not the only piece of the puzzle. Some people want a brainy partner, some want a person who shares their interests, and yes, some just want a hot piece of ass. For a debate/discussion sub, it's a little disheartening how many people are so thoroughly convinced that the way they see relationships is the only way they can …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/16 09:57 PM
2

Ah, there you go. I agree with this lady.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/16 09:16 PM
1

I wrestle with this question a lot, actually. Feminism has brought about some major changes, which I strongly believe have been for the better. In general, I would say that women now have it pretty good in western most countries. Currently, it seems like the last hurdles that they're trying to get over are equal pay and abortion rights. Worthy goals, I know some of you in here will disagree, but I think those are fine things to fight for. The problem is, feminists are fighting for equality, whic…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/16 08:53 PM
1

I'm sure that there are some people out there who do it to get laid. I think what might be more common (if they don't really hold those views) is that they're doing it to belong to a certain group of people. For women, I could see them wanting to be "one of the boys" or "not like those other girls." A pretty easy way to show that is to pretend to hate "those man-hating bitches". For the opposite scenario, this is not only an easy way to earn credibility with women, but with modern society in gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/16 12:28 PM
4

Well, tomorrow will be my 12 year anniversary, but you're probably right, I have no idea how LTR's work. You seem to think the main ingredient to a relationship is sex. While it is an important one, for an LTR or marriage to work, there needs to be a hell of a lot more going on. Maybe you're young, maybe you yourself are a "noob". But I feel sorry for you, the way you put sex on such a pedestal. Your advice is wrong, and the kind of girls you'll attract with it won't be the kind you'd want for a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/16 02:01 AM
3

You're bringing up things I'm not even talking about. Her n-count, submission...it's like we're having two different conversations. I'm talking about him asking a girl out successfully. If he's looking for sex, then you and I are in agreement. If he wants a relationship, then I'm telling him how to have a good 1st date that will lead to others. Knowing something about her beforehand will help him out. He'll know her interests, he'll know how to charm her. I'm not saying he should wait a long tim…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/16 01:39 AM
2

Completely wrong, huh? You realize we both agreed that he should approach quickly for the best chance at sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/16 11:49 PM
1

Yeah, I'll agree it makes you seem more confident. For the relationship though, I think the date will go better if you know her a little bit beforehand. You'll know what makes her laugh, what some of her interests are, if you guys even have anything in common. So a better quality date.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/16 05:47 PM
3

Are you looking for sex or a relationship? If just sex, then the sooner, the better. There's no point in beating around the bush. You'll waste less time if she's just not interested. If you want something more serious, I think it's good to get to know her a little bit, see what makes her tick. Give her a chance to get to know you. I still wouldn't wait very long. Say you guys have ended up at a few of the same parties, you've chatted a bit, she seems to like you... Ask her out then. If you wait …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/16 05:33 PM
4

This is kind of an interesting point. Usually what's considered beautiful in society is what's difficult to obtain. For instance, in previous centuries, most people were thinner. A lot of the population had limited food or had to work hard to obtain food. If you look at artists depictions of "beauty", the women were all heavier than what we consider beautiful today. They were also extremely pale, because most people were out in the sun, working. Being pale set you apart from the masses. Nowadays…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/16 05:23 PM
1

Maybe, but isn't "the wall" like 30? That's usually a little early for anything menopause related.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/16 02:01 PM
1

I knew beforehand that he wasn't into it. We had talked it over, and it just wasn't his thing. He's too great of a guy for me to walk away just because of that, and every once in a great while, I can convince him to do what I want. But yes, had we not communicated before getting married, and that was the only thing I could get off to, then that would be a crappy situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/16 01:58 PM
2

I don't look masculine, but I think a lot of my traits would be considered more manly. If I was looking at two dudes, one masculine and one feminine, I think I'd probably find the masculine one more attractive. However, I ended up marrying a slightly more feminine guy. I think the mix of personalities works well for us. He's the brains to my brawn. For example, around the house, I'll do construction projects, and he'll set up the entertainment system, wifi, etc. Our bodies are opposites, he's mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/16 11:55 AM
0

Yes! These "Nice Guys" kill me. There has to be something more there, some kind of draw, or women aren't going to care. Almost everyone you meet is nice, it's meaningless. Are you funny, adventurous, interesting, good with your hands? Sounds like this dude just didn't have much going on. His job is the only thing he had.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/16 11:42 AM
3

I don't think he's won a "prize" by any means, but I don't think this is that bad of a situation. It sounds like the guy is aware of what's going on. This woman wasn't ready to get married, so she played the field, which he was aware of. That might not be what RP loves in women, but it's common nowadays and the guy knew what was going on. When she messaged him, she was looking for someone serious to settle down with. Is it shitty that she only wants him because of his job? Absolutely. But after …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/16 11:36 AM
2

Yeah, at that point, you need to figure out just how much you hated that sushi. If the relationship's just starting out, and you're not really invested in it, it might be better to cut ties. Just from personal experience, I married a guy that has zero interest in the kink I enjoy. It's a huge bummer sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/16 11:26 AM
3

That seems pretty difficult though, right? If you're looking for a LTR, this would be exhausting for the guy. I think having a healthy mix of both alpha and beta at all times would be a heck of a lot easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/16 02:23 AM
1

Oh look at that, I'm not totally crazy. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/16 02:21 AM
4

I was just talking with a girlfriend about this. Who I'm attracted to will vary throughout the month, I'm assuming based on changing hormone levels. When it's baby-making time, I find myself checking out super-masculine guys that I might have otherwise thought were too cocky/arrogant/douchey. I love the muscles, I love the cockiness, I love the way they take control. As the month goes on, I find myself less and less attracted to them. They become very off-putting. The quiet, responsible, deep-th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/16 12:37 AM
3

I disagree that it's saying he's second best. Let's say a have a SO that wants to mix in some really rough bondage. I'm game for anything, so I say okay. At the end, I'm bruised, I'm in pain, and overall it wasn't my cup of tea. If my next SO wanted to do the same thing, I would probably say no, but it would have nothing to do with him. It would be because I had already tried it and found it too painful. In the example above, she found that she didn't care for anal. Telling new partners "no" isn…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/16 12:24 AM
2

I've never actually had a talk with my husband about this, it just seemed natural that some boundaries would exist. We don't look through each other's texts or emails. We don't use each other's computers. He won't go into my purse without asking. (An old boyfriend did this once and it irked the hell out of me.) Some couples seem pretty comfortable sharing everything. Even though we have nothing to hide, it's a comfort thing. I like having a side of myself that's more private.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/16 12:53 AM
4

Wow...I don't think I've ever been as impressed by someone both overthinking and underthinking an issue. This is impressive in it's absurdity.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/16 04:43 PM
2

I think there are different versions of the "Nice Guy". I've heard the term refer to people-pleasers, like you mention. I've also heard it used seriously by women, saying that they want one. The definition that I hear most is what the sub r/niceguys is making fun of. It's a guy who has nothing to offer. He's boring, a pushover, physically unattractive, unambitious, etc. However, he thinks that because he's "nice", he should be able to snag a date or sex. But "nice" is such a bland, meaningless t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/16 04:37 PM
1

You're right, there are people who aren't nice and do well sexually. I was trying to stress to Blackbeard how trivial niceness is. Just because you have it doesn't mean you're going to get dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/16 09:05 PM
3

Well, first off, I think there's a difference between a nice guy and the "Nice Guy" stereotype. In general, most people are nice. It's the most lukewarm, boring compliment you could ever give someone because it's so common. Your friend is being an asshole when he calls you a pussy. Nobody turns down a date because someone is nice. Now, this is where things start to shift towards the "Nice Guy" stereotype. This is a guy who has nothing/little to offer. He's not particularly smart, good looking, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/16 01:57 PM
6

Maybe part of the reason is that it doesn't have a cutesy label. "Nice guys" gave themselves that name, it was part of their whining. The equivalent would be a woman who feels like she deserves the best, but refuses to put effort into making herself a decent partner. Some common phrases from them would be: "I refuse to settle!" "Where have all the good men gone?" "Why are all the good ones taken or gay?" They definitely exist, they just need a catchy name. GirlsWhoNeverSettle?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/16 05:16 AM
1

Definitely. No argument there.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/16 06:48 PM
1

Sure, visualizing a positive outcome is a good start. I'll agree with that. But potential in and of itself doesn't make someone successful. Say you have a room of aspiring authors. Some of them are in a defeated mindset, they think they'll never get a book written, they're depressed. Some have nothing written, but they have a positive outlook. Some have half a book completed but they've hit a roadblock. And some have a finished novel. I would argue that the only successful ones are the last grou…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/16 06:43 PM
1

This is my bad, I totally glossed over the fact that this was a question for RP. In which case your argument would be a clever little "gotcha!" Since I'm not RP, I can say that sometimes TRP promotes nonsense. They have a contradictory image of women. They're dumb as bricks, but also wily enough to purposefully destroy your life. Sorry! I'll read more carefully next time.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/16 06:33 PM
1

Oh, hey, it's you again. The way that you write reminds me of fortune cookies. I'm going to have to disagree on this one. Everyone has potential, it's meaningless. The person who has scaled Everest is more successful than the person who says "Man, one day I would really love to get in shape and go mountain climbing!"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/16 06:27 PM
1

I think it's a pretty broad generalization to say that men are less rational. But yeah, if a woman is manipulating a man, then in that case, the woman is more rational.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/16 05:43 PM
2

Yup, seeing gorgeous celebrities with mansions and book deals, taking their perfect family on a vacation to Fiji...it's just too much. And that trickles down to regular people as well. Instagram and FB are platforms to show how great our lives are. Doesn't matter if their reality matches that image.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/16 04:59 PM
1

There's a pressure on women to "have it all". The great career, the amazing husband, high-achieving kids, and a passion project on the side. And through it all, be beautiful, of course. I think social media may have influenced this ideal, because people tend to only show the best sides of themselves. It's an absurd ideal, but I'll admit, if I meet someone who seems to have all of that going for her, I'll feel a little inadequate. It's silly, because I feel like I am successful, but it's hard to …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/16 04:45 PM
1

I agree with you. I think the problem is actually enforcing it. Say you have a group of immigrants from the Middle East. All are Muslim, and all promise that they love America, and absolutely want to be a part of its culture. There's no kind of test for something like this. We can check their backgrounds to make sure they're not part of a terrorist group, but that's about it. Once they get here, they're free to do whatever the heck they want. I'm not sure there's a way to enforce someone to embr…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/16 04:05 AM
1

I've never been to the "nice" half of Europe (the western half), but I've read that there is less of a focus on assimilation there. Immigrants live in their own little communities and try to live as closely as possible to their original cultures. This breeds a sense of otherness, because they never fully form ties to the larger community. In America, with the exception of places like Chinatown, assimilation is almost forced on immigrants. What SJWs love to call Cultural Appropriation is the melt…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/16 02:02 PM
1

Doesn't benefit me in the slightest. I'm married to a guy and (surprise!) I didn't steal all his money! As far as benefitting women as a whole...maybe? I think if men go into a date with your attitude, thinking that they'll be taken advantage of, it sets the tone for an unpleasant date. So I guess if men didn't think that way, women would have more pleasant dates. My friends (as far as I know) split the bill regardless. It's like a buffer, it keeps a little distance between them, keeps expectati…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/16 05:36 PM
3

You do realize this is a discussion forum? Why bother making a post if you only want to hear your own thoughts regurgitated back at you? I have nothing to gain from lying to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/16 04:55 PM
2

We don't. My girlfriends that are still dating will usually split bills. The reasoning is that if the guy pays, he will often feel like he's owed something in return. If the date's going poorly, and she doesn't want to kiss him/sleep with him/make a 2nd date, she doesn't want him to feel like he's been duped. They will also use the "you ask, you pay" rule that you mentioned. But they don't seem to have an issue asking guys out. In marriage, couples are getting more creative about how they split …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/16 04:27 PM
1

I'm in Silicon Valley too! San Jose. I moved from New Hampshire (Live free or die, baby!) where I was pretty conservative in my views. Honestly, probably too conservative, I think it made me overly-judgemental. After moving to CA, I've mellowed out a bit. According to my family, I'm a "flaming liberal". According to my friends here, I'm "super conservative". I think I can just see good and bad in both sides. I'll agree with your veteran friends that the PC/liberal nonsense has gotten out of cont…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/16 04:16 PM
1

Is that what they say to do? I see so many conflicting arguments within RP, it's hard to know what their core beliefs are. I assumed they were just pro-alpha. Whether it's for a one night stand or marriage, alpha all the way! But to an extent, yes, you're right. In general, if you're looking for a fling, you'll probably have better sex with a manly, confident alpha. I think a real alpha (leader, confident, self-assured) would still make a great husband. But a more nurturing, caring beta works we…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/16 03:54 PM
2

I'm sure you're right that a lot of people do believe that about abortion, and feel like they can't say it out loud. That's why Trump is such a hero to a lot of people, he said what they wish they could. However, I'm surprised that he's been such a hero of the right. A quick search of his past comments show that he's been pretty liberal for most of his life. That's how the whole "He's a plant for Hillary" theory got started. I think he courted the Republicans because he knew he could BS his way …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/16 02:52 AM
1

I honestly can't tell if you're being serious or having a laugh at my expense...so I'll just assume you're being serious and if I'm wrong, joke's on me. I went into business for myself because I'm a dedicated, hard worker, and I hated putting that much effort into realizing someone else's dream. Money was also a motivation. I knew I could make more on my own, and I needed it to fund my adventure trips. Right now I'm climbing the 7 Summits (highest peaks per continent) and this year, I'll be doin…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/16 02:16 AM
3

I think this is just kind of common sense. Someone's SMV isn't solely determined by looks. That's a big chunk of it, but the "dents in your can" definitely factor in. So, say you look like a 7, but as soon as you open your mouth, people realize that you're a needy, insecure disaster, you might drop down to a 5. That's your value, and that's probably the best you can hope to attract. So yes, mostly I agree with you. If you're physically a 5, and you want to date a physical 8, get someone who's de…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/16 01:18 AM
2

I wouldn't say that I'm a "bad girl". That tattoos, piercings, swearing, sleeping around, etc. don't really apply. But I would consider myself a badass girl. I do a lot of high-adrenaline, "manly" sports. A lot of risk-taking. I have my own business and make really good money. And it seems like the more successful and "badass" I am, the more women will hit on me. I don't look butch by any means, and I'm very open about the fact that I'm married. But the ladies just don't care! This video, goofy …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/16 04:39 PM
2

For male-centric media, I think in most action movies (Angelina Jolie comes to mind) the tough, badass chick is either the main lead herself or the main love interest. In Suicide Squad, there's Harley Quinn. In that God-awful 300 sequel, Eva Green's "bad girl" was the romantic interest of the main guy. So it happens. I think they're chosen more as sex symbols as opposed to happy ending, life-long partners. Usually the guys that fall for them are tough and badass themselves, so onscreen it seems …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/16 04:19 PM
2

Yeah, I suspect this as well. Now that he basically has the nomination, he's been backtracking on his abortion comments. It'll be interesting to see how his positions shift moving into the general election.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/16 04:04 PM
1

Good points. Losing the sex in a marriage would be devastating. My husband's sex drive is lower than mine, and that's hard enough as is. If he was ever just not into me at all, oh man. That'd be rough. That would probably be the one thing that would ever tempt me to cheat. I've read some of the deadbedroom stories, and it sounds like a living hell. So yeah, I get where you're coming from.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 07:08 PM
2

While I completely disagree with this, I just spit out my drink laughing. Well done.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 06:56 PM
1

Alright, alright, I give in. He's a magnificent (goofy) bastard. But without the personality, he wouldn't be anywhere near as sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 06:44 PM
2

Yeah, maybe. His body's pretty good too, that helps.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 06:16 PM
1

If I HAD to choose between my wife loving me for "me", and her being so physically attracted to me that she couldn't resist me, I'd choose the latter. This is (I think) an uncommon perspective, especially when we're always told "It's what's on the inside that counts!" I do understand your reasoning though. If someone doesn't love every bit of you, then they're settling, so in a way, you are also settling by accepting them. So here's a hypothetical for you. Again, not implying that you're ugly. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 06:15 PM
2

Damn those pointy elbows! Such a deal-breaker! But c'mon now, for every glamour shot, there's ten of him looking totally goofy. But yeah, he's pretty hot right there.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 06:01 PM
3

Yeah, his body's always been pretty good. No argument there.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 05:55 PM
1

Fair point, if your SO is hotter, you're probably less likely to cheat. It could be argued that cheaters are going to cheat regardless, they just love the thrill/validation of it. But I guess that's a different conversation altogether. I don't think it's wrong for you to want someone who thinks you're amazing in all aspects. Hell, who wouldn't want that? Personally, I would rather someone swoon over my sparkling personality, because I feel like I can maintain that longer than my looks. But I do …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 04:37 PM
2

You think so? I always thought he had a strange combination of features. The big nose, the wild hair, the eyes that fluctuate between big and googly and super squinty. But as soon as he opens his mouth, I'm instantly attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 04:24 PM
4

During the bad times, you're right. They'll look slightly uglier to you because that charming personality has disappeared for a while. Overall though, even in the most beautiful people, our looks are going to fade. Most of us start losing it in our 30's and 40's. I would argue that you have a much better chance of a good LTR if you liked someone's personality over their looks, because the looks are short-term anyway. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have someone grow on you. It migh…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 03:25 PM
7

I do think it matters. If someone is at the bottom end of what you find attractive, it doesn't matter what their personality is like, you probably won't ever want to be with them. However, if there's someone that you're kind of "eh" about: they're not great, but not bad looking. If their personality really suits you, I've found that you can start to become attracted to them. They suddenly look a little hotter. For a famous example, look at Jeff Goldblum. Like, really look hard at him. He's a goo…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 03:06 PM
1

Hah, yeah, I was thinking that "Man up!" didn't quite fit the situation. "Toughen up, cupcake" perhaps? You're absolutely right, it's not doing women any favors. We want to be treated like strong, capable people, but we can't expect to be taken seriously if we claim to be victims whenever it's convenient.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 02:58 PM
2

I'm so sorry you went through that. I absolutely agree with you. It's become much too broad, and it seems like it can encompass too many drunken or accidental occurrences. I think if I was a guy, I would be so terrified of sleeping with someone I didn't know well just because of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 05:47 AM
6

Yes, and I feel really bad for saying it. But I think feminists secretly love playing the victim. I was always taught to be strong and tough, and to take care of myself. I assumed those were good feminist traits, so that's how I identified. But it seems like so many feminists just love to talk about microaggressions and the patriarchy holding them down and all the injustices they face on a daily basis. It's just way too much "woe is me". Switching to RP (because let's just insult everybody while…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/16 05:44 AM
2

We lived out in the sticks, so most of my time was spent in the woods. Building forts, trying to dam up the river. Around 10, I started building little shelters and would make myself campfires. I played a lot of Nintendo. With my older brother, it was always Super Mario Brothers, and I was always stuck being Luigi. With girlfriends, Mario Kart and Mario Party were big. I can't tell you how many friend-dates ended with someone angry because one of their stars had been stolen. K'Nex was also prett…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/16 03:57 PM
1

Your thought process on this issue seems to be contradictory. In the first half of this wall of text (paragraphs are your friend!) you seem to be defending equality between the genders. The second half is arguing that we should listen to our inner prejudices and just accept them. Yes, humans have a "truth detector" as you call it. We have great intuition about people. A shift in someone's voice or a downward glance of their eyes can tell us much more than what they're actually saying. This is no…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/16 12:32 PM
1

Honestly, I don't know. I think that would be a difficult thing to measure. For adultery, no, I think men and women are about even (as evidenced by statistics). In general, I know weak-willed men and women. And I know very strong, moral people of both genders. I guess we would need to look up if there have been gender studies on peer pressure, to see who gives in more.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/16 04:11 AM
2

I don't think its saying women are imbeciles but are more susceptible to influence in general than men. Eh, this is where you, and the passage, lost me. The passage specifically talks about adultery. I could argue that your point about beauty standards is less because women are more susceptible to them, and more because for most of history women only had their looks and mother-skills to determine value....but that seems like another discussion altogether. With adultery, the statistics are probab…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/16 11:27 PM
3

I don't really agree with the gender-specific parts of this passage, it makes women sound like imbeciles, incapable of controlling their impulses. It does sound reminiscent of a lot of RP posts though. However, the general idea of fostering good behavior and good ethics within a community/family/religion is something I agree with. This is something that many (most?) parents will try to do when they have children; create a family culture where their values are taught. Honesty, selflessness, work …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/16 01:27 AM
3

Yeah, it doesn't make sense. Just looking at my family members that support this law, what seems to be the common thread is that they're anti-LGBT in general. They find it "icky". Pretending to protect their poor, helpless women is just a cover for being outright bigoted.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/16 05:56 PM
1

I have noticed what you're talking about. We have a huge Asian population where I live, and while Asian women do fairly well, Asian men are generally treated as undesirable. I assume that it's because of their smaller, thinner size. They look less manly than their white, black, or hispanic counterparts. Even a lot of the Asian women pair off with white guys instead. One exception is men from India, who seem to do fine with Indian women. My Indian clients claim that it's easier to be with someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/16 02:30 PM
9

The only people that seem to have an issue with this are the men who "are protecting their women". Frankly, it's a little obnoxious. We've been sharing bathrooms with transgender people for many, many years, and surprise! They don't want to attack us! They want to pee and get out. The idea that we need protecting is a little insulting. Forcing a transgender person (especially post-op) to use the bathroom of their original gender is going to cause a bigger issue. If you see a man walk into the wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/16 02:05 PM
1

Well, yeah. I wouldn't want to be a woman in that time period. That was my point. Don't kid yourself though. There are always weak men, no matter what part of history you're looking at. In general, the work was tougher in the past, so yes, they had to be more physical. But the reason you don't hear abut soft, sissy men is because they didn't accomplish anything. We remember the same people that we'll remember from today: the war heroes, the geniuses, the great artists and inventors. I wouldn't s…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/16 01:58 PM
1

Mine has low self esteem too! These silly boys... And you're absolutely right, I'm lucky, I should enjoy it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/16 03:34 PM
1

I did this too, just to be sure it wasn't my own bias. The extra attention he was getting from girls (and guys) was a big hint too. Does it ever bug you? I try not to get down about my looks now, but having him look so good makes me feel like I need to put in a lot more effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/16 03:00 PM
2

Oh, no I stayed the same. We're both really fit, but started out with average faces. My face stayed average, his got more handsome as we got older. Lucky bastard.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/16 03:36 AM
1

Not sure what you mean by that.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/16 02:28 AM
3

Looking at the couples in my life, the man and woman tend to be pretty equal. The men might be slightly more attractive. (Many are in the military, so they're very fit and clean cut.) People tend to shoot for the best they can get, which is usually pretty close to their own level. In my own marriage, I think my husband and I started out on the same level, and as time went on, he got hotter. Way hotter. So now we're unbalanced. It's a nice perk for me, and he doesn't seem to mind. But it does mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/16 01:14 AM
1

You've been a fantastic teacher. Thanks for all the info. I have a newfound respect for ripped guys and their lats. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/16 01:03 AM
1

Sucks to be them. If I disliked a group of people that much, I'd give up on trying to date them. I think you have the right idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/16 12:36 AM
2

Aw, you paint a nice picture. The big, protector image is nice, but I think you could still get that feeling with good pecs, abs, and arms. Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen a non-famous guy with big lats. Are they just a huge pain in the ass to maintain? So no, I've never dated anyone with them. One of my favorite ways to hug a guy (especially if he's in a jacket or hoodie) is to wrap my arms around his waist, inside the jacket, then up his back. So I guess I would end up …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/16 10:37 PM
2

Yeah, that looks good (to me), muscles on the chest and arms but no giant lats. I can understand why guys like it. It increases the width of their torso, so they look bigger and tougher. I've also read a lot of posts on here about getting the perfect V-shaped torso. And this definitely gives you a pretty intense V. It just looks unbalanced to me. It's too much top. And the thought of touching/hugging all that meat...eh, it's just a lot going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/16 09:26 PM
2

Ah, the lats! Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/16 08:49 PM
4

I prefer that skinny sort of muscle, like what you see on surfers or rock climbers. I consider it to be "too much muscle" when those armpit muscles start to show up. (No clue, that they're called, sorry!) They look like little wings and it makes a guy look top-heavy. I'm sure it takes a lot of effort to get them, but I just think it's a turn off. https://muscledevelop.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/shirtless-guys-2.jpg http://www.life-without-fat.com/images/burn-abdominal-fat-2-venuto-30.jpg
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/16 07:43 PM
1

Yes! Skinny/slight muscle has always looked so much sexier to me than a bodybuilder. Also, that last guy is photoshopped to death. Look at his face!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/16 07:33 PM
1

I'm sorry you believe those things. But you have a decent point. If a guy feels that way, then why would he bother hanging out with women at all? Like you said, he would try to avoid them. So any guys that hang out with us probably don't feel that way, and it's silly of me to stress about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/16 07:31 PM
2

Right? Can you imagine if all guys were RP? What a nightmare. And not even just for women. They treat each other like crap too. It'd be a never-ending proverbial dick measuring contest.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/16 08:50 PM
5

Yes! Too much of this stuff will get to you. I started reading PPD a little while back. I found it interesting. I enjoy reading multiple opinions on the same topic because it makes you question what you really believe. Now when I hang out with guys, I've found that PPD has skewed my views a little. It makes me wonder if they believe some of the horrible things I've read in here. I find myself going out of my way to show that women aren't needy, controlling, stupid, weak, etc... When in reality, …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/16 01:44 PM
4

Amen! Sometimes marriage can really suck. It's a ton of work and commitment getting through those rough patches. A lot of people call it quits at those points. Sticking through it (assuming it's not abusive) is how you get to that good place.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/16 08:38 PM
1

OP was asking if it was possible, I was providing an example that showed, yes, it is possible. Not common, but possible. If you want to doubt my story, well, that's on you. It's not like I'm going to post a photo for you to judge her looks. Just because you haven't seen it with your own eyes, doesn't mean it isn't possible. I think if a woman is giving off a very strong "I want a husband NOW" vibe, and is very clearly not suited for a wife/mother/partner role in any capacity, that would scare a …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/16 08:16 PM
2

I firmly believe that feminism went off the rails when it decided that women were both empowered and victims at the same time. I'm not responding to your post as a whole, just this one line. In my early 20's I completely bought into feminism. I'm a tough, self-reliant chick, it seemed like a no-brainer. But after a while, it started rubbing me the wrong way. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I remember reading articles and posts and thinking that I wasn't "feminist enough". I could never…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/16 03:31 AM
2

And Angelina Jolie. I always hear ladies talk about how beautiful she is. (I also find her incredibly attractive.) I never hear guys say that anymore. Back in her Tomb Raider days, sure, but not now.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/16 02:56 AM
1

Yeah, hopefully.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/16 01:35 AM
4

A shared hobby is probably the best way to meet someone. It gives you some kind of common ground beyond "Hey, we're both single! And we both like...alcohol." And it gives you something to talk about in those first-date awkward moments. I do a lot of male-centric sports, and when I was dating, that was a great place to meet guys. I liked that they were fit and had the same interests as me. I have a guy friend who does yoga. He loves the fitness aspect to it, but it's also a way for him to meet a …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/16 01:11 AM
2

I think originally she was coddled because of the dyslexia. That's tough for a kid, she was made fun of a lot. But then her sister was killed in a car crash and the over-protective coddling became much worse. I think it was done for loving, well-intentioned reasons, but it made her unable to cope as an adult. She's actually now in her mid 30's (not even one of those young 20-somethings!) and still lives with family. She has all these dreams of buying her own place, making a name for herself in h…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/16 01:02 AM
2

Hah, I hope that's not the typical early 20's girl, she's a special kind of hopeless. She does get a ton of first dates, probably because she's so pretty. Every one ends with no second date planned, no sex, no kiss, no happy stories. They just fall apart. I could be wrong, maybe she's being overly picky and just doesn't want to say it for some reason. But I'm guessing that her infant-like personality is just that much of a turn off.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/16 12:02 AM
3

Yes! We do this too! The pre-beach shave! Poor guys, (not that us ladies have it easy) but it's always sad to see him get so stressed out about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/16 04:42 PM
2

One of my girlfriends is very cute. Great figure, pretty face, very fit. But this girl cannot get a boyfriend to save her life. She uses online dating, apps, blind dates by friends, you name it. Nothing works. She's kind of hopeless at life, in the sense that if you left her alone in a city, she would probably get herself killed. She's not very bright, she gets lost easily. She's needy and clingy, and gives off a slightly desperate vibe around guys. She has dyslexia, so she needs people to read …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/16 04:02 PM
3

I'm into it. My husband is a hairier dude and he's self conscious about it. But I really like it, it feels manly. He's gotten laser treatments on his upper arms, but it didn't really do anything. I have a salon, so I've also waxed him, but he thought it was too painful for another session. I'm fine with that, I like him as-is. For BJ's though, at least trim it up down there. If we have to stop to pull hair out of our mouths, nobody's happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/16 03:50 PM
1

Geez, on your phone? Are your thumbs about ready to break off now? Okay, so to your first point, I'll use some famous examples. Quentin Tarantino, Steve Jobs, Stephen King, Elon Musk...ugly guys that if I was single, I would absolutely sleep with. Their brains, the way they see the world, the way they work with it, is so unbelievably sexy. Even though you don't go to work with your partner, so it's not directly affecting you, it's still something I look for in a guy. That overly-passionate, incr…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/16 07:59 PM
1

You're a photographer? I do styling for photoshoots and editorial. It'd be funny if we've crossed paths. But for God's sake, don't stifle your career for the sake of finding a woman, that's insanity! I think that you're correct that there are woman who are looking for a guy with money. It happens. My husband and I have actually talked about this. There was a show asking women to rate men based on looks, and then they showed the same men with job titles like "Barista" or "Doctor". He thought the …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/16 05:21 PM
1

Ah, now I see where your money fixation came from. I'm sorry you went through that. It sounds like even beyond the money issue, she wanted to move to a more serious phase in her life. While you wanted to stay "forever young and doing crazy stupid stuff". I'm not sure how old you are, but as you move into your late 20's, early 30's, it's probably going to be very hard to find what you're looking for. I'm intelligent, I'm funny, I don't waste my time, I'm very resourceful etc Reasons like THESE ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/16 04:29 PM
1

Hmm, it feels like you've taken what I said and pulled it to the far extreme, or perhaps didn't really read it at all. (Username checks out. ;) I kid, I kid.) You're assuming that I just gave up on love entirely and married for money. In fact, your focus on money is a little strange, since I never mentioned it once. It feels like you're just projecting your own personal biases and (perhaps insecurities?) onto my marriage. Had there been no love for my husband, I wouldn't have married him. But si…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/16 03:34 PM
1

Had no clue who those people were, so I googled them. It's Peggy Carter!! I love her! You're right, she's beautiful.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/16 03:22 PM
2

Fantastic, thorough post. I have a feeling you'll be downvoted like crazy, but I'm really glad you posted this. This is one issue where RP is 100% wrong, and it's doing RP guys a disservice to be taught crap like this. It's going to make them more miserable and lonely in the long run.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/16 03:56 AM
1

Only with the blonde hair. I prefer brown eyes, but if there's a blue-eyed, dark haired guy, it doesn't bother me. Something about the combo weirds me out...maybe when I was a kid, there was a guy with that color combo that freaked me out and it just stuck with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/16 02:48 PM
1

Thanks! I think we're pretty awesome, I may be biased though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/16 04:30 AM
1

Yeah, light skin (white or northern Asian) with dark eyes and dark hair. I like the contrast. I also like dark skin with light eyes, but that's harder to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/16 03:13 AM
2

Huh, interesting. I don't think I ever would have thought to do that. I would have assumed it was like rubbing salt in the wound or something. If this happens again, I might try your approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/16 12:15 AM
3

Blonde hair and blue eyes. It just weirds me out for some reason. Chris Hemsworth is a good example of a really great looking guy, but that coloring....nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 11:30 PM
2

Aw, really? So no matter what, it seems like the friendship gets destroyed. I see a lot of your posts and think you're a pretty reasonable guy, so from your perspective, what's the best option? Assuming the woman is either already taken or just isn't interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 11:27 PM
3

I do a lot of male-dominated sports, so I have a good amount of guy friends. In any high adrenaline, high danger activity, people fall for each other like crazy. (Maybe a mix of the adrenaline and endorphins?) I've tried both options: kept them on as friends and tried to ignore or rebuff the flirting. And I've also killed the friendship. Sadly, I would recommend the latter. It gets too complicated once you know that someone likes/loves you. Feelings get hurt, the friendship is usually ruined any…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 11:06 PM
1

Yeah, as I said above, I know it sounds crappy. I mean, basically every romance novel/movie has the love triangle where the girl chooses between the stable choice and "true love". It's part of our culture to go for the head-over-heels romance. Don't let this depress you. Trust me, we have a really great life together. And yes, that includes having a lot of fun. I just didn't choose him specifically for romance, it wasn't a priority to me because even in the most sappy, lovestruck couples, that c…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 10:46 PM
1

This kills me. I try to read both sides of the story, so I'll jump between MRA articles and their feminist counterparts. Both sides love to claim that they're the ones getting screwed, and that they're just trying to achieve equality. Frankly, I think both crowds just love to play the victim. If they could get over their hatred for one another for five minutes and just talk about what they believe in, it'd be amazing how much they agree on.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 12:49 PM
1

Hah, maybe. I think most dads want their daughters to be taken care of. It's not really necessary in today's world, but if they're even the slightest bit old-fashioned, it makes them feel better. Lucky for me, my version of a "good man" and my dad's lined up. I respected my husband, and my dad probably thought he would be a good provider/protector.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 12:43 PM
2

That's a good idea. I think (just from personal experience) that you tend to have a stronger/longer lasting relationship when your SO is close to your friends/family. So you're killing two birds with one stone.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 12:29 PM
2

You're right, it's very similar, head vs heart. I think he would just emphasize different qualities to each gender. The two guys in my scenario were very different. The one that I didn't marry was a bit more goofy, carefree, less hard-working. I think my dad knew that if I used my head, I wouldn't choose him, so he didn't need to go onto detail. Had he gone into detail, he may have told me to find someone that could provide for me and a family, someone that would be a good protector, etc. All so…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 12:25 PM
1

It is absolutely very romantic and very sweet. As much as I feel like I'm promoting a pragmatic approach to romance, it's always nice to see a very happy, very romantic couple. I wish them all the best!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 04:42 AM
1

Your parents' situation reminds me of arranged marriages. Not that it was actually arranged, but just how it seems more about choosing with the head, not the heart. Also, the lack of a big, romantic proposal. (I'm sure they love each other very much, I just have a lot of clients in arranged marriages, and their stories sound similar.) As far as worrying about only one person being in love, no, I wasn't too worried about it. I knew I loved him, and vice versa. One thing I've noticed from being ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 04:29 AM
4

I'm not sure if you're referring to his advice to me, or what I assume his advice would be to my brothers. If the former, I interpreted it as the opposite. Being my dad, I think he knew me well enough to know that I would respect a smart, driven, responsible man. Wouldn't those be "alpha" traits? Even the "provider" trait. According to RP, isn't the guy supposed to be the provider?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 04:13 AM
3

I think what your parents did sounds smart, being very open about their reasons, even at the risk of it sounding like a business transaction. My husband tends to be more romantic than I am, so when I made my decision, I didn't spell it out for him. I think he would have taken it as me saying that I didn't love him, even though I loved him very much. It just wasn't that head-over-heels, hearts-in-your-eyes love. Like you say, it may have made the relationship seem unbalanced. If only one person i…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 03:47 AM
7

Honestly, no. As much as I love my dad, he's old-school and a little sexist. If one of my brothers was to ask the same question, he might tell them to find a good nurturer/supporter. But personally, I think it's great advice for either sex. It's all about finding compatibility on a deeper level than romantic love. If I had kids, it's something I would pass down to a boy or girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 02:58 AM
8

He's very driven, I think that's what I respect most. He takes his work very seriously and wants to do something that's going to make an impact to some degree in the world. He's very serious, which I know a lot of people don't like, but I love it. He puts a lot of thought into the words he says. So when he tells me something or makes a decision, I know that he's really considered it. He's smart, thoughtful and reliable. All traits that I admire and hope to have in myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 02:55 AM
3

I think he's a good mix. When it comes to work, I would say he's alpha. Very motivated, leads a team, very focused and driven. Around me, he's more beta. Very laid back, happy to let me make decisions. But sometime he'll surprise me and take charge- either with vacation planning, or bedroom stuff, or just home life in general. I think most people are probably a mix to some degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 02:49 AM
20

All the normal things: love, communication, trust, etc. But I have been given two very specific pieces of advice that I thought were really great for my own marriage: Keep your love life private! How many of us have been mad at our SO and vented to friends or family? Your friends love you and will almost always side with you. But 50% of the time, the argument is actually your fault, not your SO's. It's so much harder to fess up and say "I'm sorry" after you've been kvetching with your loved ones…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 01:38 AM
7

I think of myself as an alpha woman. Very physically tough, own my own business, confident, self-assured. I'll admit, sometimes I do get stressed, and I think that can come with an alpha personality in general, or maybe just a Type A personality. Because I'm "alpha", I put a lot of work into my life. I stay fit, I keep my business running smoothly, I make sure to keep my marriage strong. I don't take a very passive role in my life, which can lead to stress, and sometimes, unhappiness. I think th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 12:57 AM
3

That's really insightful. I think you're absolutely right. The few moments where I've come to a mutual understanding with a person that originally disagreed with me, are really awesome. I read a feminist blog as well (I like reading both sides of an issue) and that's how I heard about the "Pills". Someone said to check them out for a good laugh. But coming here, I didn't find it funny. It was sometimes sad, sometimes eye-opening, sometimes it made me rage inside. And when I find an opportunity t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 12:26 AM
4

I totally wanted to be Raphael from TMNT when I was a kid, so I feel you. I've always been more masculine, playing "boy" sports, joining ROTC, dressing in more masculine clothes. That's what felt good to me. I feel sexier in sweaty workout clothes than I ever do in a dress and heels. I've always wanted to be "one of the boys", and I love when people tell me that I'm like a guy. I'll admit, I'm drawn to PPD, but honestly, I couldn't tell you why. It seems like no guy in here would ever think a to…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/16 05:14 AM
1

Yeah, reconsidering this, I think you're right. If I was considering joining some group, and people outright hated it and viciously attacked it, it would make me more curious. And it gives it a sense of legitimacy, even though the attention is negative. If that same group was mocked for being a bunch of losers, less people are likely to want to join. I've seen this strategy used on would-be ISIS recruits as well, and more recently in the American political debates. Mocking someone instead of ser…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 03:07 PM
2

Huh, interesting. I actually had the opposite thought about him trying to shame TRP guys. I think if you're calling someone a loser and making fun of them, you generally don't take them very seriously. If he thought TRP was gaining traction, and a serious threat, then he would outright attack it, because it would be worthy of a real attack.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 03:59 AM
1

I'm an introverted woman, and reading your post made me think of my husband. I think both of us have been told since we were little to "just put yourself out there". Go to concerts, go to parties, dance like nobody's watching, etc. When really, all that stuff (even when it looks fun to the people doing it, like the Doritos ad), is very unappealing to us. I met my husband when we were both coaching a kids' robotics team. Like you said, we hate small talk, and finding another person who didn't bot…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/16 05:44 PM
3

Agreed, I think it would be an interesting read. Anytime you have two arguing groups, it get's uglier than it needs to be. Men vs women, blue vs red, you're either with me or against me. Having 16 options to play with and dissect would be a much more insightful, and the small personality details would make for a better read/discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/16 04:01 PM
5

Yes, kids are the worst (best?) at this. They'll rip an awkward kid to shreds, and then ask to copy their homework. Our media typically portrays women as sexy and if there is an awkward nerd, it's usually a guy. I think that's why it can seem like a gendered issue to some people. We don't usually see the reverse in our entertainment. But real life is full of awkward women. I think this is really just cool kids vs. the losers.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/16 02:51 PM
4

I totally agree with you, and I would even expand that thought process so that it's not only about feminism or men's rights by themselves. At the core of each side's valid arguments, it all boils down to the same thing: we want things to be fair. If both groups could stop irrationally hating each other long enough to look at the issues, they might be amazed at how much they agree on. Military: women want to be able to serve in all positions. Men don't want to be the only ones risking their lives…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/16 02:32 AM
1

Can vouch for this. Standing-up kissing is awful. Also, shower sex is tricky and 69 is impossible. A big height difference is overrated.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/16 11:13 PM
1

Yes, I always feel incredibly sad for these men. Most people at some point in their lives have felt bullied or worthless, and the thought of being so torn apart by it that you kill yourself....that's heartbreaking. I have a guy friend that could be described as omega. And we hang out and get lunch sometimes. He's kind of mopey, but he can be funny and interesting. The problem that I'm running into is that he latches on to our friendship, thinking that it's something deeper than what it is. (I'm …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/16 03:46 PM
4

Absolutely. I'll admit, I'm attracted to doers, people who work really hard and make something of their lives. Not necessarily people who are incredibly successful, (although that's a nice bonus) just people who continue to push toward their goals. On both sides of the fence, there are people who embrace being a victim. For feminists, the enemy could be "the patriarchy". For RP men, it could be feminists or just women in general. Sadly, life isn't fair, I think we all know that. Everyone has the…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/16 06:20 PM
2

As I was writing about the "having expectations" part, I was thinking the same thing you wrote. It is kind of a gray area, isn't it? You know what you want out of a relationship, but you don't want to go into it with a "I'm going to get what I deserve" sort of mentality. I think day to day, trying to make everything even out in terms of who supported who, will kill a relationship, but for the long haul, you should assess it. And I think you're right, it would be an emotional thing, just a feelin…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/16 03:21 PM
4

I think a good version of middle ground is pretty similar to what you summed your post up with. In any relationship, romantic or not, you should have respect going both ways. And in a good partnership, you'll support each other at different times. I don't think it should ever be something you keep track of. "I put gas in your car yesterday and you can't even make me dinner tonight???" That kind of thinking will leave you burned out and resentful. If over a long period of time, someone is feeling…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/16 01:59 PM
7

It doesn't have a catchy name, but a womanchild is definitely a thing. I have female friends that are in their 30's, no savings, no responsibilities, still living with family. Can't hold down a job or a boyfriend. Maybe because we don't see it very often in pop-culture, it hasn't gotten a name yet, but I think Amy Schumer's schtick fits the bill. She's the female equivalent of a Seth Rogen character.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 04:17 PM
1

Yes, I know Jezebel's probably going out of business. Yes, I know about the "privilege" nonsense. That stuff makes me nuts too. If you're any of the following: white, straight, male, able-bodied, cis-gendered, well-off, etc, etc, etc, you need to profusely apologize for it. Or you just get shamed for coming from a place of privilege. I'm with you on that one. For everything else, it seems like you and I are going in circles with our discussion. I doubt we'll ever get each other to fully see the …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/16 02:53 PM
1

Women do fight the "bring men down" mantra. Maybe that's the reason for the shift you mentioned, that you see feminism shifting more towards a "men and women are equal" message. Forget BP and RP, go to a feminist site. Try Jezebel for instance. You'll see what you believe feminists to be: raging man-hating assholes. There's always a couple. And then look at how people respond to them. It's not with cheers and camaraderie. They fight them on their views. And there are way more women fighting them…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/16 11:07 PM
1

Unfortunately, in any group, it's usually the most extreme whose voices are heard. The main point of feminism is that men and women are treated equally. I'll agree with you that a lot of extra garbage has been tacked onto that simple definition, and there are women who genuinely hate men and want to dethrone them. But there are many more women (myself included) who don't believe in the anti-men message. I'm not sure if when people shamed the "Nice Guy" they were talking about a specific person o…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/16 09:03 PM
1

I first heard about RP from a commenter on Jezebel (very left wing feminist blog). She was talking about how awful it was. I always try to read both sides of a story. Even if I disagree, I like to see the thought process behind the ideas. So I checked out RP, then BP, then finally, this subreddit. I think RP is sometimes heartbreakingly sad, sometimes borderline hateful, and sometimes insightful. I do think that it should exist. It seems like a lot of men (and women for the RP Women offshoot) be…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/16 04:12 PM
3

She's right about this. Often times feminism is seen as anti-man or trying to drag men down. But if you read complaints from feminists and MRA's, often they're griping about wanting the same thing. This is one of those cases. Men want women to want sex more. Women want to be able to have more sex/partners without being called a slut or thought of as manly for their sex drive. So, like she said above, encourage sex positivity and discourage slut shaming and everyone wins!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/16 03:46 PM
1

From what I've seen/heard, younger women (teens, 20's, early 30's) don't seem to accept the idea that women are bitchy and dramatic and can't be friends. I've only heard that from older women, and I wonder if it's a relic of when each office had a token woman, so it was more competitive. Or before women were bringing home money, so our value was based on looks, youth, etc. That would lead to a more competitive environment. Of course women can have women friends, most do. There will always be lit…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/16 03:28 PM
2

Well said. Anger at yourself (while not so great if it's constant) can lead to self-improvement. It can be the extra kick that you need to stay motivated. Anger at others or because of others is useless because we can't control other people's actions. Your anger at how someone treated you won't change them, it only serves to frustrate you. I think the only way anger at others is helpful is if it motivates you to do/say something that you wouldn't have already. But I think most people, out of pol…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/16 05:30 PM
0

One of the best tips I've seen (for both men and women) is to stop asking "How can I get people to like me?" and instead ask "How can I be the kind of person that people like?" One focuses only on getting the date/sex. The other focuses on making yourself a better person and taking some personal responsibility for why people might not like you. I've noticed that RPers tend to be split between those two camps. The ones who come off as bitter or angry, or resign themselves to Forever Alone, seem l…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/16 05:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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