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Yankuba3 Archive

View 0 posts and 47 comments by Yankuba3 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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14

She probably mourned the end of the relationship years before she told you she wanted a divorce. And now she’s excited for the next stage in her life. Same thing happened to me - I was devastated but she was giddy.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 10:39 AM
12

Yes, she never overcame her childhood abuse and trauma. Kept it buried away and put on a happy mask but after so many years she couldn’t keep the charade up and she turned into a monster.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 01:20 AM
2

I’m in a huge city and 90% of my matches ghost me between zero and three messages. A couple of weeks ago I was stood up and I wandered around the train station waiting for a text that never came. I’m ready to retire from dating.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 11:04 PM
1

How do you date hundreds of women? I get one date every two months.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 10:52 PM
2

The OPs post makes me feel better about not having a second date with anyone the past two years. I don’t need to be told what to do by a stranger.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 10:50 PM
7

My ex-wife is the same. Broke my balls to have kids but has always been close to the bottom ten percent of all the mothers I know. Countless times I find myself being a mother and father, which I don’t have the energy for. My son knows the score and hates his mother for her selfishness which makes me proud of myself but sad his relationship with his mother is so poor. I dragged them both into therapy but five years later he still hates her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 12:24 AM
4

I was willing to stay married for the kids but she wasn’t and she always gets what she wants even if we all suffer for it
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 12:21 AM
6

You’re upset because you’re a good person and father. You care. Too many parents don’t give a shit, including my ex-wife. Do the best job you can and maybe when your children are old enough to decide where to live they will choose you
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 12:20 AM
9

No, I despise her
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 12:39 AM
2

Yes, everything revolves around their feelings at all times. No sense of honor, loyalty, duty, purpose, etc. They only care about joy and passion.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 09:24 PM
1

The hardest part for me was losing my ex-wife’s salary and assets. I went from two incomes and two pots of investments to one income and one pot of investments. On the expense side, my post-divorce expenses are now higher by the amount of monthly child support. And since I make much more than my ex-wife, I pay 100% of the children’s expenses (which I did before the divorce). While my net worth quickly grew more than I lost in my divorce (i.e. the divorce settlement), having one income and one bu…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 05:38 PM
1

My separation agreement says that something ends when she gets married or cohabits but it’s not alimony/maintenance because I don’t pay that. I thought it was child support.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 07:33 PM
2

Agree. If she gets married doesn’t child support end? It may even end with cohabitation.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 06:28 PM
3

I have a messy home and it makes me smile because she has OCD and spends hundreds of hours a year making sure her house is 100% spotless at all times. It makes me tired thinking of it
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 05:08 PM
2

I’m 45 and don’t think people use social media to show off like they did in the old days. Now people use Facebook Groups plus Marketplace and IG is a way to see animal videos, memes and humour. Very few of my 200 Facebook friends show vacation pics or luxuries.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 02:05 AM
1

Sad
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 10:42 PM
3

You’re still young - many will divorce at 40, 45
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 11:48 PM
6

I would only marry if she had equal or higher income/assets I will not put my income/assets/pension at risk again
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 12:40 AM
6

Whether or not you want kids Religion and level of involvement in religion Dedication to health and wellness Having similar money philosophies Being in a similar place career-wise. Don’t get into a relationship with someone looking to leave the city for work or education Being on the same page re: how much time you want to spend together. One night a week or seven nights a week Being aligned with long term goals
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 01:13 AM
13

She isn’t your friend, she is a coparent
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 12:17 AM
5

I focus on work, parenting, exercise, hobbies, community service. Occasional socializing or a date. Not much time left after that.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 08:46 PM
2

37 months. My son feels the same way
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 09:25 PM
5

Re: “my ex-wife is not handling the divorce she wanted very well” Same!!! 100% She wanted the divorce so she could be a better parent (🤦🏻‍♂️) but my son now hates her more than ever and blames her for the divorce and relocating him. I have 65% custody and when he goes to high school he can choose where he lives and it may be 100% with me. On the bright side, I am my best self right now and a great parent (in my opinion). Still would have preferred not to get a divorce (for the children) and for …
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 07:51 PM
2

I use MS Excel because I am old and good at it
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 07:45 PM
1

My son (age 12) hates having two homes and only wants to stay with me in my home (his home pre-divorce) which is creating a lot of drama with his mother that I am trying to resolve by taking them to therapy (to no avail). My son ends up spending xtra days with me. My daughter (age 8) has no complaints.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 10:42 PM
6

I tried dating on and off for 36 months. Three relationships. Maybe one date every six weeks. I was picky and very impressed with most of the women (NYC/Long Island) but the ones I really liked didn’t like me and vice versa. Now, I am taking a break. Dating is a lot of time (and drama) and I know numerous people age 40 to 50 who have never been married despite 100s of dates so I am pessimistic re: finding my person. I am also VERY busy (job, kids, volunteering, health/wellness, chores). I was to…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 11:07 PM
8

I would only get married again for someone off the charts wonderful who ALSO has a higher income and more assets. Not putting my money on the line again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 01:43 PM
13

My ex-wife was “unhappy” and initiated the divorce and now my son hates her for it and they are on the track to estrangement. Because she put her happiness ahead of his. I’m sorry you’re unhappy but there’s no guarantee life as a single father will be better. It’s quite overwhelming and there is less money to go around. P.S. FWIW my ex-wife tells me she is still unhappy even though she now has all the things she wanted, including a great boyfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 11:04 AM
8

They used to call that the “seven year itch”
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 12:23 AM
10

One thing I learned from my divorce coach is to replace the phrase “have to” with “get to.” Like the OP says - he “gets to” make his daughter’s lunch while tons of men have to fight like hell for every minute of custody. They don’t “get to” make their daughters’ lunch. I have massive bills but I “get to” pay them (as long as I can hold on to my job). Lots of men have the bills and can’t pay them. That’s a bad situation. But it’s hard and somedays the unhappiness and mental exhaustion is too much…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 10:38 PM
2

I hear you, it’s hard
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 10:26 PM
1

Agree
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 01:39 PM
6

Your #1 focus should be on your son, not a relationship. Move to North Carolina and get your own place.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 04:56 PM
3

If you’re currently unhappy in the marriage you cannot have more children at the moment.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 01:24 PM
1

My most recent assignment from my divorce coach was to start doing things for myself. It’s hard when you’re unhappy and have finite free time and money but I understand what he was getting at.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 01:38 AM
9

I’m 36 months post divorce. Just had a brutal dinner with my parents, kids and brother. The kids were poorly behaved, my father is old and cranky, my mother picks fights and demands too much from everyone. It was loud and unpleasant. I’m really looking forward to my kids going with their mother tomorrow and me having a quiet telework day. Anyhow - it has been 36 months and I have done everything everyone recommends yet I am still angry, unhappy, jealous of others, etc. What usually helps me is v…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 01:32 AM
11

Never move out - the court will hold it against you
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 11:30 PM
3

I have an acquaintance (hedge fund partner) who lost tens of millions in his divorce. He filed, she did nothing wrong. He just stopped loving her. Although he gave her tens of millions of dollars he kept tens of millions and makes millions every year. He didn’t care one bit about what he lost because he understands how much he got to keep. Plus he has decades to earn more and compound. There are several men in my periphery (financial services) with the same story. They gave up millions to get a …
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 12:21 AM
3

You keep repeating over snd over that you want happiness. It doesn’t come from marriage or money or love or lust or romance. Most suicide victims have a chapel full of people that lived them. Love isn’t an anti-dote to unhappiness or depression. Life is about purpose and meaning and relationships. Focus on being a good mother and finding activities that you all enjoy. Spend time volunteering or join a board to get a perspective check. Get a life/divorce coach and a therapist. Do not put the keys…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 12:15 AM
7

You can’t have everything. A gorgeous fit young man that earns more than you? Take a number And there’s more to life than conspicuous consumption. I earn top 5% but drive a reliable old Honda because I learned in elementary school that material things don’t bring joy. You discounting lower earners is icky.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 12:08 AM
1

My neighbor has your same story only he got 100% custody. He should being that his ex-wife is a drug and alcohol addict. She owes him child support but she can’t ever pay it and he lets it slide
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 12:01 AM
5

You don’t know that they’re happy!!! After my divorce, many men/women confessed to me they were in loveless marriages. But they fooled me! I thought they were happy. But they weren’t. Also - 75% of marriages fail. The 50% divorce rate plus half the remaining marriages are loveless marriages of convenience where fear or financial issues or kids keep the marriage together. Those couples that appear to be happy? Check in again in five years. Ten years. Etc. The longer you go post divorce the less y…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 11:58 PM
3

I have heard that via my divorce coach - single fathers have better outcomes than single mothers but I think they are comparing 100% mother vs. 100% father. The situation here would be 50/50 and that research wouldn’t apply. In my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 11:47 PM
17

I didn’t pull the trigger. I wanted to stay married for the kids and divorce later. But: The longer you wait to get a divorce the more you will lose financially! The divorce settlement and maintenance and child support will be higher and it will take more years to recover the money you lost. Especially if your salary is no longer growing as quickly as it did when you were younger. I recovered the money I gave to my ex-wife in 3 years but we split the assets 67/33 in my favor because I had been t…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 11:44 PM
3

SAHM is hard when they’re toddlers. Once the kids go to kindergarten it is a breeze and it gets easier every year that the children grow independence.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 11:31 PM
2

Glad you’re doing well and yes, mediation is so much less expensive than court
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 01:55 AM
1

There’s a Facebook group for divorced men that is run by Michael Rhodes.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 12:16 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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