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__CitrusJellyfish Archive

View 6 posts and 79 comments by __CitrusJellyfish on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

I don’t have any book recs because I think the best way forward is to put yourself out there and be vulnerable, but without expectations. Do activities that will help you improve yourself and will increase your self esteem - best if these are social places where you can potentially meet other people (including single men) but with no intention of aiming to meet someone that you have a romantic interest in there. Stick with whatever it is and people will begin to show an interest in you. This hap…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/23 04:51 AM
11

I agree with this. I think OPs biggest barrier will be meeting like-minded men. I’m not a homebody (I have active hobbies), but I’m not a socialite either. Living in a major city, I found the men on dating apps to be mostly extroverts who like to party. OP’s best bet would be to try and meet men naturalistically through mutual hobbies that have a social aspect, and tend to attract more of an introverted crowd - book club, cooking course, gym/ exercise/ hiking club/ rock climbing, board games mee…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/23 09:16 PM
69

Dumped after 4 dates and you think that it was playing a cardi B song that caused him to end things with you... You need to get your head checked. He was never yours, so you’re not an ‘alpha window’.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/23 12:26 PM
17

PLEASE no more posts about 29/ 30 y.o. women being ‘in the danger zone’ or about to hit the wall. Yeah, maybe if you don’t take care of yourself. If you’re single and in your mid 30s (& fertility is the key concern) consider getting your eggs frozen.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:30 AM
2

Depends on ages/ life stages of both parties. It matters less when you’re in your late 20s and beyond. My boyfriend and I are both 30. Unless a man is so preoccupied with his career that dating isn’t a priority, to me it’s a bit of a red flag when an otherwise attractive and personable man is aged in his thirties and beyond and is chronically single.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/23 08:53 AM
35

A lot of older men who exclusively seek out younger women to date have the same traits that you’re describing: flaky, lack of direction in life, seeking casual sex/ wanting to keep options open, non-committal, emotionally immature.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/23 02:45 AM
1

Oh I’m not advocating for OP to stop dating, but she should get her self esteem and sense of self worth to a point where she sees herself and her value in a positive light first - dating and self loathing is a recipe for failure and further emotional damage if OP ends up with someone who sees and exploits that.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/23 02:39 AM
34

Go to therapy. You’ve got work to do on yourself before you even consider dating again. An emotionally unstable 26 yo is a lot less dateable than an established & emotionally well-adjusted, 30+ year old woman.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/23 11:37 AM
5

He’s just not that into you. His response and actions after you tried to repair the relationship very clearly indicate that. He might hit you up for sex again if he’s bored/ lonely down the track.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/23 10:20 PM
2

Hence the immaturity. I have no interest in my BFs gaming, he does that with his male friends. It has no impact on our relationship or conversations whatsoever. Idk why this guy is so fixated on your hobbies. Work and family I can understand and are important areas to show interest in and remember details of. Hobbies though are just that.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/23 11:02 AM
17

I lift weights after work. It is neither a social activity or of any interest to my partner or anyone else in my friendship and family circles. On weekends I like to go hiking or do social stuff. When we’re together, my partner and I either do random activity dates, little day trips/ road trips, cook, go out for meals, or see friends together. This guy just sounds immature, lacking attention and interest towards you and what you have say, and like he’s not a great conversationalist.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/23 12:02 PM
3

You could be right. I know a few banker bros who are married to women who work as teachers or artists, but come from ‘old money’ families and still live off the family ham (despite being in their late 20s-30s).
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/23 11:51 AM
1

We started our relationship post-covid. I’d been on his radar since pre-covid but the timing wasn’t right for either of us, and he was adamant that he didn’t want a fling or situationship with me.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/23 11:49 AM
9

He’s unlikely to ever change. He’s not interested in establishing a career and achieving financial success. It’s a combination of his personality and a lack of interest, not an absence of motivation. Otherwise he would’ve made moves to accomplish this by now considering he’s 34. At best he could maybe seek an easy but (relative to that) well paid 9-5 with minimal physical duties that helps pay the bills. Like book keeping or admin-type duties in Govt or a large, well funded institution like a sc…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/23 05:29 AM
5

Not exactly. I’ve never met a surgeon who’s married to a retail worker or waitress. Source: my partner is a surgeon. I’m somewhere in between in the sweet spot. I’m a woman with a career earning 6 figures, but I’m not a ‘career woman’.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/23 04:57 AM
18

It sounds like your goals don’t align with his. Tbh sounds like he’s ready to settle down with someone stat as many men in their 30s-40s do. This is probably better suited to r/Diabla if you’re looking for a short-term thing with the perk of having your rent and bills payed for.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/23 10:59 PM
6

I wouldn’t assume, I’d say talk to him about the details before you agree to move in with him? He may be assuming that you will contribute to the rent since the paying flatmate has moved out - can you afford this as a student? Will you have to pay for other things? What’s your back-up plan if the relationship ends since it’s been only 6 months?
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/23 09:45 PM
9

He sounds like a deadbeat and after you leave you’ll regret not having done it sooner. It’s your life and you only get one, so don’t waste it entertaining some guy who adds no value to it.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/23 05:05 AM
6

Perhaps communicate this to him, can you develop a weekly housework and cooking roster?
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/23 01:58 AM
8

I find I get the most attention from guys when I’m between BMI 21-23. When I’ve been 18 BMI I’m extremely shredded and most men don’t find that level of ab definition and diet face to be attractive. It is possible for OP to get that lean but it’ll be HARD work with low cals and high output - you’ll forever feel like sh*t at such a low weight and it’ll mess up your hormones.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/23 03:19 AM
4

I’m a bodybuilder and I’m 30. It’s hard work and discipline to build muscle, so don’t worry about getting ‘bulky’ - if you are, it’s likely fat gain and you’re overeating. Lifting doesn’t burn many cals compared to cardio, so hit protein targets but don’t go crazy overeating. I typically wear a cropped shirt or fitted tank top with coloured leggings, or tight shorts with an oversized graphic shirt tucked. If it’s hot I’ll wear a long-line sports bra (tank style) with a nice back detail and full …
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/23 11:51 PM
1

He’s never shown an interest in going to the gym with me, which is fine - it’s my thing and I’m there everyday. He used to run until he was injured. He since hasn’t sought to return to running or replace it with any other exercise.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/23 12:39 PM
6

Even if I was notified that a screenshot was made, there’s not much I could do to ensure it was then deleted
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/23 12:32 PM
7

Don’t stay around the house. Head to the gym, go jogging or walking, keep busy.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/23 04:25 AM
4

Make eye contact and smile. Say hi if you see them regularly and they’ve responded by smiling back. They’ll take the hint to shoot their shot from there if they’re interested in getting to know you.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/23 04:20 AM
11

Lying about height, not disclosing that they have kids, and lying about age (the ol’ ‘the app won’t let me change it’ excuse).
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 08:13 PM
26

Yeah I didn’t have to read far into this post to come to that conclusion. He sounds manipulative. He’s going to withdraw all his attention soon and start gaslighting OP when she questions it. Most secure women in their late 20s-30s won’t tolerate this behaviour and this guy knows it.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 02:56 AM
8

Post history confirms this. OP needs to focus on losing and keeping off 5lbs for starters.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/23 04:30 AM
16

How do you plan on paying for multiple major surgeries without a job? Not trying to be snarky, just being realistic considering it may take you 10+ years to save enough (on top of paying for all your other general living expenses). I would start with the weight loss goal. Increase daily steps to 10k, begin to track calories (intake) with MFP, join a gym and get a trainer to teach you basic lifts. Build a booty in the gym, loose some body fat, and you may find that you do not need the BBL or tumm…
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/23 10:50 PM
4

I’m in the same position with bodybuilding. The coaching, gym membership, food, supplements, tan, shoes, bikini, hair/ makeup costs me more than I’ll ever earn from the sport - even those at the top with sponsors usually break even or make a humble living from it. It’s my hobby and not my income source. Again, all things aesthetic and physique sports should have a plan B.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/23 03:44 AM
8

I guess you need to be realistic. Everyone wants to be an influencer or model. Only those at the very top can earn a liveable income doing so (as their sole source of income). It’s a side hustle or hobby for most. Because it’s appearance based you’ll have to consider how many years you’ll get out of a career like this - will you be able to support yourself if the relationship ends or he can no longer support you? I bodybuild in the bikini division. I’m not very active on socials, but I do have t…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/23 08:07 AM
-1

Thank you, I do suggest these things (dinner, daytime or early evening activities) and we do them occasionally and both enjoy them. Sometimes the issue with the late nights is that although he has the next day off work, I typically don’t so I’ll still need to be up at 6am, work until 5pm, and then go train in the evening. He expressed his disappointment when I mention this, but honestly what am I to do? I don’t want to feel exhausted all day and can’t afford to take leave each time he has a day …
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 11:08 PM
2

Thanks. You might be correct. We definitely have a lot of differences, but that being said, he did compete in sports growing up on an international level so he does have first-hand experience regarding the discipline, time and energy commitment required to be successful. I’m not stopping him from seeing his friends or staying out late, but if it becomes an ongoing problem maybe that’s my sign call it quits. I don’t want to give up my passions to make someone else happy with me. Because if the re…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 10:59 PM
0

Thank you, I am aware of this and know that it’s not ideal for dating. I plan to step back in my work hours now that I’ve put in the hard yards to get to where I am and can choose my work hours (contracting). This allows for more flexibility. I don’t consider myself a career woman, but I am a woman with a career. Bodybuilding is my passion but I don’t ever intend to use it to be a springboard for a fitness or social media career. I keep it to myself mostly. It’s very much my own thing and not so…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 04:36 AM
1

Thank you. This makes sense. I do respect his time and never try to limit or compromise time spent with his family, but I think if he wants to spend time with me in needs to a time and activity that suits both of our schedules and preferences - versus me just ‘fitting in’ to his existing plans. This isn’t something that I ever do or experience outside of the realm of dating (with friends/ family) hence why I’m not used to having to set boundaries or manage expectations.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 04:12 AM
1

Yes there’s been a couple of minor things. Most recent has been wanting to go to the game with his friends, I’m totally fine with this. The game ends late (9.30pm) and he suggested we go out for a very late dinner and then to a bar for a night of drinking afterwards. I told him I’d pick him up from the game if I wanted and stay over, but I didn’t want to wait so late to have my dinner, nor did I want to have a big night out. I’m busy at work at the moment too so I’m trying to take it easy on wee…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 01:21 AM
1

For the record, I’m not forcing anyone to eat or exercise. If I got out for a meal, I’ll pick something on the menu which I can have. I don’t care what anyone else/ the person I’m dating wants to eat or drink. I’ll fit my training in so it doesn’t interfere with time together. Yes I do try and sleep before 10pm. If we go somewhere and the food choices don’t fit my diet, I’ll just have a coffee or eat beforehand. Or we’ll do an activity date. To me this isn’t a big deal. We don’t live together so…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 12:38 AM
3

I suspect they try to change me because they don’t like the parts of me which make me happy and provide me with some fulfilment. For example, I’m very physically fit and invest a lot of time and resources into my appearance. The men I date express that they love the way I look, but they can’t understand or don’t want to accept the effort it takes simply to maintain it once things begin to get more serious.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 12:29 AM
1

Thank you. I love to hearing stories like yours, reminds me that my expectations aren’t unreasonable. I suppose I’m just jaded by dating people who have expected me to bend over backwards for them and be absolutely accommodating with no questions asked, but who’ve offered zero support or accommodations in return (and some who have made efforts to deliberately sabotage my own). My current guy is busy with work and study of his own and I’ve been nothing but understanding and accommodating to date.…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/23 11:31 PM
9

I think this is something that reveals itself during the early stages of dating, and in my experience doesn’t seem to change much. If he’s wanting to split bills from the get-go and you consider this a dealbreaker, then you probably aren’t compatible. Since you value his other qualities, I’d stick to praise and encouragement when he does pay. Tell him explicitly how much you appreciate it and how it makes you feel special etc.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/23 12:39 AM
5

I’m a super fit 29 yo and look better than most average looking women who are in their mid 20s. Lose the weight. Hit the gym. Wear sunscreen daily. Eat nutritious food. Minimise drinking and don’t smoke. Drink plenty of water. You won’t show signs of ageing for many years to come provided you have decent genetics.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 08:30 AM
13

I don’t think OP will find many young, single men in a knitting club. Joining a pub trivia team or a social sport will reap better rewards.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/23 10:08 AM
3

I’m almost 30. I’ve been single since 25. I get a lot of attention from ‘high value’ men who stayed single to focus on career etc. who are in the 35+ age range. I wouldn’t worry about it and just keep working on yourself and putting yourself out there. I live in a major metro city and most women here don’t begin to get married until around 28 (with the exception of religious women and those from more rural areas).
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/23 07:49 AM
7

No one I’ve ever dated has asked me about my body count
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/23 04:26 AM
1

Maybe a pleated skirt? If you like denim, a midi denim skirt
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/23 11:20 PM
13

I’m single, but being forward about my intentions, needs, and boundaries when dating has caused a lot of men to flake, but in the end saved me a lot of time and spared me some heartache because it’s so much better to find out sooner vs later if someone is not going to make an effort, isn’t supportive of you, and isn’t going to be respectful of you and your time before you start to develop feelings.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/23 11:54 AM
18

People move on faster timelines after 30 - a few couples I know were dating for 12-18 months and then were pregnant with their first child. It’s not like dating at a slow pace that you do in your teens and 20’s.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/23 12:12 AM
2

Interesting! Can relate to this. My best friend’s now husband used to have many single friends several years ago. He’d warn me against dating any of them, saying ‘no way, you’re my friend and you’re too good for him, he’s a good buddy of mine but a complete dickhead to girls - I don’t want to see you get burned by him’.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/23 09:33 PM
5

Who, me? Sure! I got no attention from boys in school or college. I was a wallflower. Both of my sisters were popular and had the opposite experience. In terms of physical looks, I do have good genetics, I just didn’t know what to do with myself. I sorted out my style and makeup, cleaned up my diet, joined a gym and now lift heavy weights and do cardio 5 days per week, got my hair cut and coloured at a salon, started using expensive shampoo and hair treatments to keep it looking lush (light blon…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/23 09:23 PM
5

Speaking from my own experience, ALL of my attractive female friends who are my age are either in LTRs or married. I’ve spent a lot on attending weddings/ engagements these past few years. On the other hand, I have plenty of single 30+ year old male friends and acquaintances.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/23 05:20 AM
5

It depends what country you’re in. The number of medical trainees who apply for surgical training is huge in my country based on the availability of training positions. It is very popular to pursue a surgical career path. There is more demand for paediatric physician jobs, family medicine, and geriatric/ aged care physician roles with more jobs available. These roles pay substantially less than surgical specialties. If a good geriatric/ family physician can intervene early before someone needs e…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/21 01:43 AM
6

They often won’t commit until they’re much older. Most alpha men in their 20s and 30s will continue to casually date until they can no longer keep several younger, attractive women on their regular rotation (younger, more attractive men later enter into the scene and present these women with more/ better choice). So, if you’re looking to marry a similar aged man in your early-mid twenties, unless you’re dating a conservative or religious man, you may have to look for a man who is a good leader b…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/21 08:26 PM
10

I would argue that women have a stronger protective instinct, esp with respect to children/ babies; research has proven this... “...Brain scans showed that, in the women, patterns of brain activity abruptly switched to an attentive mode when they heard infant cries, whereas the men’s brains remained in the resting state...”
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/21 11:40 AM
8

Yes haha, RPW is pretty much the reverse
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/21 10:47 PM
13

Hurts me to see that we’re being lumped in together with the incels. Re: the risk of becoming quarantined, perhaps we should rename ourselves the burgundy tablet women to avoid the red pill stigma on reddit
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/21 07:29 PM
7

Yes, not banned per say but have had my comment history stalked by other users and called out even though the subject of discussion was completely unrelated and I made no mention of rpw values. Subs include r/ausfinance r/askmen r/dating
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/21 06:54 PM
4

Exactly, so RPW isn’t the place for seeking out or providing this sort of advice. r/domesticviolence regularly post links to resources and keep these up-to-date
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/21 03:15 AM
1

Yes, which goes back to my initial point - this sub reddit isn’t a place to seek or provide advise for people in dangerous/ abusive relationships. There are other sub Reddits which are probably better set-up to offer peer support and resources for people in these situations, but that is not the scope of RPW
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/21 03:05 AM
1

They should be given links to services in their area - often the ones responding aren’t the voices of experience- it’s people trying to add their 2c without realising that their ‘action plans/ advice’ could put the person in danger - e.g. confronting the person, issuing them with an ultimatum
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/21 02:55 AM
2

Yeah these posts need to be closely monitored, but if there’s too many that can be hard to do. I worry about less experienced commenters trying to contribute their 2c but actually providing counterintuitive and potentially risky advice
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/21 02:16 AM
1

I think professionals working in this space should be the only ones to advise a women on how to respond/ next steps in evaluating the risks of non-action, or exiting an abusive relationship. Some of the comments/ suggestions on these previous posts have included things like confrontation etc. which could aggravate the situation further. These posts are often without much context, so really it should be left to a professional who can evaluate the full picture and devise an appropriate course of a…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/21 02:01 AM
6

Also, there was a previously pinned post about this - but giving advice to women in seemingly abusive or controlling relationships is beyond the purpose, and above the expertise and pay grade of this sub reddit. I add this only because I’ve noticed many women in financially, emotionally, physically abusive relationships asking for stay or go opinions
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/21 01:20 AM
7

Early 30s maybe. The dating pool then narrows as there are fewer single women in their mid 30s and those who are without children.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/21 09:35 PM
5

Yeah exactly, I have no time and too much self respect for those men who play mind games and ‘spin plates’
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/21 02:33 AM
22

Women on this sub reddit don’t really go for the types of men who post on TRP
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/21 01:26 AM
8

I’m not sure that many women on this sub prefer men who are submissive. There’s a preference for men who lead. There’s are all very forward suggestions for initiating sex (aggressive kissing, watching porn, funishment). What works for me and my current SO is being more subtly seductive. If we are on the couch or the kitchen together I’ll gently trace my fingers along his arms, legs, neck etc and softly kiss his neck, around his ears. I usually dress in something feminine/ sexy too to set the moo…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/21 02:06 AM
16

Your goal is to have a relationship. He has said that he doesn’t not want that. I would move on.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/21 10:22 AM
4

This happens to me frequently. Constant bullying and being called out (with no mention in my posts or comments about anything rpw related) on other subs who trawl through my post history- it’s actually mostly been from men so far
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/21 09:45 PM
14

Go spend some time with your friends and family, or do something productive/ nice for yourself. Don’t waste your life sitting around waiting for him to text you
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/21 09:31 AM
-2

Not eating meat or certain foods for ethical, moral, or cultural reasons isn’t uncommon. I didn’t use the word unrefined in a mean sense, but to imply that he doesn’t like or add flavours or layers to his food. By ‘steak dinner’ I mean a cooked piece of meat with some steamed peas or fries or a bread roll on the side - no spices, sauce, herbs, dressing, or marinade - the closest comparison to the way he likes to eat would be kids menu stuff where you’ll see battered fish with mash, roast chicken…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/21 11:48 PM
0

As someone who has worked in mental health settings, most of what OP describes is typical of someone who has a schitzotypal personality disorder. Obvs not here to diagnose, but it’s something for OP to be mindful of Haha, I’m still at work (albeit on a break)!
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/21 10:53 AM
1

He is in terms of his fixations re: the government and surveillance
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/21 10:47 AM
8

He sounds like he has mental health issues - delusions of grandeur, thought disorder, eccentric and almost ritualistic or fixated behaviours, obsession with conspiracies, distrust/ hostility - very cluster A
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/21 10:44 AM
6

Two lines in and already dude sounds like a complete oddball and borderline psychotic. Sorry, but what exactly about him makes him high SMV or an alpha? I can’t see it
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/21 10:37 AM
3

With the exception of very religious men, most men will prioritise other factors over virginity. It seems like OP thinks her virginity is her most valuable asset, despite having never worked or studied, only pursuing men who aren’t single, self-reported mental health issues which haven’t been addressed, and sabotaging previous relationships and friendships. It’s no wonder she’s consistently being met with rejection. High SMV men in their 20s are seldom virgins too (again with the exception of th…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/21 07:48 PM
3

You don’t work, you haven’t studied, you consider yourself a mental case who has a history of ruining relationships/ friendships, you focus on the flaws of men who you perceive to be not good enough for you, and you’re a self proclaimed ‘unicorn’. You’re also being consistently rejected by higher value men - perhaps you should prioritise your own self development foremost and seek therapy to overcome your relationship issues. I’m not sure why a high value man (who’s not single) would be interest…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/21 06:15 PM
7

I could be mistaken, but I see vetting as something done very early on during the dating process (or before even dating). Ruling someone out based on objective details about a person which you consider dealbreakers for a romantic relationship- these vary from person to person. E.g. not wanting children/ marriage, history of lots of casual relationships, children from a previous marriage, different political/ religious views, absence of physical attraction. I’d say testing is something done when …
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/21 08:06 PM
2

I think you should focus on using the extra time and energy on developing your self management and coping skills, set goals for yourself and perhaps seek therapy to help you develop a plan. Nothing wrong with working less as long as you’re making the most of your remaining time productively (in your case, managing your symptoms).
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/21 08:54 PM
1

OT here - I don’t think there are many self-help books on the subject, but rather, there are apps and strategies you can implement to support this skill. Here is a site with some practical strategies, it lists a few reading materials too https://www.theottoolbox.com/adults-executive-function-disorder
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/21 08:49 PM
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