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absoul1985 Archive

View 3 posts and 19 comments by absoul1985 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I can honestly say that I don’t feel any tightness or really any feeling anymore when I think about my ex… my problem is this anxiety when I think about this new lady that I really like… kind of like not trusting your own instincts after flunking a test badly. The girl is sweet as a peach so it’s nothing she had done.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 06:34 AM
1

About 6 months
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 06:31 AM
1

Thanks so much for that friend. Can I ask if you had any hesitance or anxiety when you first realized you two were into each other?
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 06:27 AM
1

Thank you for that. I didn’t even realize it when I wrote it but you are right, that doesn’t sound right when you put it in simple terms. I have had a sinking feeling all day… definitely irrational and this would be the first time getting close to a female since my divorce. Now I’m wondering if this is a good idea after all. Anyways, that’s for the food for thought.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 03:50 AM
1

That’s a very good point. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 03:48 AM
2

Bro, bounce. I hate to be that blunt but you wont change her or even help her. All you will do is waste years of your life and probably be abandoned anyway. You're young and have no children....what a blessing. I stayed way past expiration with my ex...I've only been divorced for a few months and the thing that makes me most angry is getting out of the fog of being in a dysfunctional relationship and realizing that everything doesn't have to be so terrible all the time. You haven't failed, you'v…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 09:30 AM
1

You nailed it. One would never allow oneself to be in such vulnerable states with the same gender(if hetero). The point is not that all people don't hurt each other, the point is that you're looking forward when the real knife gets you in the back. I think its a form of trauma that many never get over.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 08:06 PM
11

Its because we have female shaped holes in our armor. I've seen a war veteran get brought to his knees by a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 02:14 PM
8

Lack of support system and sweeping serious problems under the rug. Basically, if you don't want to have children with her, get out of there. That metric alone will tell you what your gut thinks. Also, you don't know a person completely until you're getting a divorce from them.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 06:35 PM
9

Imagine how pathetic you look if you slip up in any way. You will validate every shitty thought she ever had about you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 11:28 AM
2

Come back to this post in the coming weeks and months. I've found that in the early stages, your thoughts are pure, correct and free from the negotiating, bending, and rationalizing that can pop up later on. Wishing you lots of luck and peace.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 01:18 PM
12

Someone in the future is genuinely depending on your determination to get through this right now. If you cant continue for yourself, then that fact alone may help you when you cant take it anymore. Be kind to yourself and find someone that is just willing to listen to you, even if you are just repeating how unfair this is. You already know what the situation is but for the most part, it is what it is, your mind is what you have to work on. I'm going through something similar and the only way i c…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 01:42 PM
4

My problem is that i never talked to women out of respect for my wife and now that I'm separated, I'm getting invites to coffee dates all over the place. It still feels wrong and weird but i even had a coffee date with someone that she knows just to be able to talk with someone but in a nutshell, I think you know you're ready when it doesn't feel like betrayal or you're hurting your ex anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 04:58 AM
3

Sorry to hear this brother. I would recommend you speak to someone about this. i know it feels like asking for help but when we are emotionally involved, our IQ and perspectives are altered (for the worse). People can be hurtful and its unforgivable to take it out on your children but my best advice would be to get another brain involved, perhaps even someone legally minded. You need clear perspectives, steps, and strategies. Whether its documenting the abuse or something else. We go through the…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 12:27 AM
3

great tip...Forgive but dont forget.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 09:56 PM
5

wow this really hits home with me. I still feel the loyalty and care but its now mixed with the reality that this person has become an icy-cold stranger.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 09:56 PM
2

The tone of your story feels so familiar. I could tell a few more stories along that vein. I also think that the overarching feeling during my marriage was hope that if i was patient, loving, communicative, i could change her. I had to forgive her for the memory of my daughter but I think sometimes it can be a mistake to cling to hope when it requires you to ignore reality.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 07:42 PM
2

Sorry to hear that. My wife is E European as well. From your post, i would say you did the right thing. When i think back on my wife, I definitely should have been concerned earlier. There were signs before my daughters fateful day. One of the worst incidents was a "mistake" where during a rough house play session, she knocked my daughters tooth out. I think when kids are involved, mood swings and "clumsiness" have to stop being rationalized.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 07:30 PM
3

Thank you and yes its unimaginable. No one should ever ever have to go through that.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 02:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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