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View 2 posts and 33 comments by adapt2grow on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
49

adapt2grow/r/Divorce_Men30/09/19 07:59 PM
18

adapt2grow/r/Divorce_Men06/08/18 01:01 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

I think many people are ready in less than a year. I am older, worked hard the last few years of the marriage to keep it and her going, and just to take care of the kids. I was emotionally exhausted. If I was younger, or had left when years ago when my friends had suggested, I would have definitely been able to restart in less time. It’s good to hear that you have become a better person for it and are living well.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/19 11:02 PM
1

Thanks and they have.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/19 10:54 PM
7

In regards to waiting a year, my sister explained it well: During the time of separation, most people are in crisis mode and don’t have time to emotionally process the loss. The year after a divorce is a time of mourning, of remembering and letting go of the good times and bad, of rituals and traditions. Holidays can be tough. Year one is a transition. The second year is for developing new traditions, of solidifying your new self and new idea of family. Keep what works and do new things. The pas…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/19 08:52 PM
2

Have 50/50, alternating weeks. I text my kids at least every other day. Call 2-3 times per week. If my kids do not answer, I call their mother’s phone and (usually) leave a message, requesting a call from the kids. Decree states that the children are to have open access to communication with other parent. But I’ve noticed that she limits their access to their phones during normal “free time” and when they can be on the phone with me. And she feels privileged to call anytime when they are at my h…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/19 07:10 PM
1

This issue may be jurisdiction dependent. In WV, there is no question. The separation date is when the marriage “ended” and the divorce process began. (I don’t know the legal term for it.) I understand each spouse does have a duty to preserve the value of common assets. I had a great attorney that negotiated like a momma tiger protecting her cubs, so your situation never came up. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/19 02:12 AM
1

Separation date. All assets are valued as of that date. INAL, so check with your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/19 01:48 AM
2

Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/18 07:00 PM
5

Thank you. I hope you got something useful out of it. Writing my post was cathartic, and it signaled a change in how I use this sub. I wrote a summary of my divorce, including the advice I had received, because it was what I had searched for when I was new here.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/18 04:50 AM
6

Your feelings are accurate. You were betrayed. You can't change what has happened. You can change feeling alone by connecting with friends and family. Some people suggest dating right away, but that was disastrous for me. I made my life and someone else's life worse by seeing someone before dealing with the garbage of my marriage and divorce. What did help was connecting with any friends that were supportive and making new ones when I could. Keep talking.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/18 09:42 PM
2

I’m sorry for your situation. It sucks and it will painful for a long time. First, lawyer up ASAP. Everyone has questions what to do next, but the answers are often jurisdiction dependent. Second, continue individual therapy. Your kids may also benefit from therapy. The list of actions that all need to happen at the same time is long. Talk to your family and friends to determine who will be supportive and helpful the next year or two. These people can be your emotional and physical support as yo…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/18 10:45 AM
3

Gat a lawyer now. Be the one who files. Document everything. Write what you remember about the past year or two in regards to her substance use. She will probably get one-half of it all. It’s going to suck. Sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/18 03:40 AM
3

I suggest couple’s counseling. The answers are yours alone. My experience is I wanted children before marriage but slowly changed my mind, starting a couple of months before the wedding. After a year, we were at a crossroads as you are, and went to counseling. It helped resolve the deeper issues. Ironically, we had fertility issues and only had a child after seven years of extraordinary efforts. Today, we are divorced for reasons unrelated to the children. I have no regrets having children.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/18 11:48 AM
1

Get a lawyer first. The petition is too important in this case.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/18 12:47 PM
3

Hire an attorney. Shop around. The answers you want are jurisdiction dependent. Document everything. Back up texts and emails. Use written communication. Go to therapy. You can complain to your therapist about you wife and the attorney. Have a couple of previously divorced friends to help you out. It will get worse than you can imagine and also better than expected, at the same time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/17 09:44 PM
4

Go to therapy. Hang out with friends. Join a Meetup. Ask yourself What am I?Who am I? Ask your friends those questions for themselves. Ask them to answer it about you. Ask yourself, when I die, what do I hope people say about me or talk about at the funeral? Write this stuff down. Put it on the fridge. Talk about it in therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/17 07:05 PM
1

Costs depend on your situation and jurisdiction. It was suggested to ask friends for references and then interview 3-4 attorneys. Do not pay off anything.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/17 01:09 AM
2

Yes, I would (if you were older). What would be important to me is what was your marriage was like, why did you divorce, and what did you learn. When I hear a woman describe her ex as an awful human being and can't tell why they were married in the first place, I walk away. We all have life experiences. How you grew from it means a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/17 05:51 PM
2

Therapy. Be a dad first for awhile.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/17 01:07 AM
5

Lawyer up and file first. Be aggressive. Defend yourself
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/17 09:39 AM
1

Ask your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/17 08:52 PM
1

You decide if you want a divorce. It happens because someone makes it happen. Get an attorney now. Go to therapy. Find a therapist for the kids. Prep now. File asap
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/17 10:52 AM
2

I went through some of the same things. I'm in a career that my STBXW wanted me to be in so we could have a better marriage. Thank god I have good lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/17 07:03 PM
2

Your STBXW left the relationship a long time ago. She screwed you over. Accept it. She now owes you. And the kids. Ask for everything. You'll get a fraction of what you ask for. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/17 12:03 PM
2

Much depends on the jurisdiction, state and county (even the particular judge). I suggest that you go ahead and get all you financial documents together. Go back 3-5 years or one year before the marriage, depending on your jurisdiction. You mentioned that you could prove all of your statements & allegations, so go ahead and produce hard and digital copies of everything you think you might need. Then interview attorneys because you need one. I asked around for referrals, especially of my friends …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/17 01:40 PM
2

Your divorce process appears to be a meandering drive in a flat road through the country. What a nice little trip. I disagree. The legal process is straightforward business deal. Divorce sucks because of the emotional issues. It seems people do crazy things during a divorce out of values or feelings. I suggest that you note or warn about potential obstacles or problems that an attorney can warn about and assist with.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/17 10:07 AM
1

Do what it right for your son. Based on your post, that means calling the Youth Office IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/17 10:01 PM
1

I agree with this list. It is based on protestant christianity to which I do not belong. I still like it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/17 02:40 PM
2

A couple of neighbors asked. I told them that my wife had moved out and we were in the process of getting a divorce. Both of these people offered much support in the next 9 months. The other neighbors didn't care.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/17 01:51 PM
2

Document the history of the relationship. A good lawyer will ask for a lot of background information. Then write out every detail of the break and separation. Informal agreements? No fault means that a divorce can be granted without either party being at fault for adultery, abuse, etc. I don't k ow about KY and each state has different custody, child and spousal support laws. Think about what, best case, you want to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/16 06:50 PM
1

Lawyer up. Stay. Be a good parent. Go to therapy. Then you will know what to do.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/16 10:40 AM
1

First, I'm sorry that you're going through this. Having another adult around my kids still tears me up inside. Talk to friends that have gone through a divorce in your state. Listen to your mature friends that share how they got through it and what they'd do differently. Lawyers usually offer a free consultation. Shop around for prices.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/16 10:35 AM
1

Lawyer up now. Meet with your accountant. In my experience, the only time people wanted to settle on the side was because they knew that would lose in court.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/16 01:52 PM
1

The situation sucks. I'll share what I know based on working with MR/DD adults, psych patients, and community treatment. Document everything from the past. Go back and create a record of what happened when and where. Collect pictures onto one computer. Talk together as a family and get the whole story. Throw out all the accusations, etc. Keep the facts. Be honest. Keep a record going forward of everything. Stick to facts. Skip conjecture. You need evidence that an attorney would drool over. Take…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/16 07:35 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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