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adventure_junkie67 Archive

View 6 posts and 32 comments by adventure_junkie67 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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13

I was puzzled for a long time on this very topic. Long marriage and kids out of the house, she filed, I was surprised but not shocked, I offered counseling and was immediately rejected, and thing proceeded normal around the house for about 2 weeks. Then she became very angry, bitter, and said hateful un-true things. We co-habitated for the year it took to finalize and it was miserable. I kept my cool and just lived my life. I finally concluded that she wanted to see me miserable and break down, …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 11:58 PM
2

Just fell into a rut and thought it was the way it went, as time passes. At retirement, our interests, activities and group of friends diverged. Finally, it was just unpleasant. We both deserved more.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 01:58 PM
4

67 y/o after 46 years together
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 04:52 AM
1

Thx for the insight. I appreciate that thought.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 02:13 AM
3

I think she was convinced she could get more through court. I wanted mediation but unfortunately she filed without talking to me and drove us down the court route.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 08:53 PM
11

I have simply stopped viewing marriage as a "forever" proposition. We all change as we grow and age. I cannot imagine a future marriage but will look for a wide range of friends (hopefully a couple with nice boobs) and approach companionship from that angle.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 04:08 PM
14

Forgiveness is required for happiness. I try very hard to not hold any grudges. Plus, we have grown children and I don't want them to see hostility. Better to live a harmonious life.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 04:04 PM
3

No laws like that here in Illinois. I am retired and recieve a pension. I am splitting that income equally for life. It is not treated as alimony and therefore the rest of the settlement was simply a 50/50 split of assets.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 04:00 PM
7

Not a typo. She became emotionally attached to another and decided it was best to split. Said she was not "happy" but I think he had something that motivated.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 01:29 PM
3

I think it may be more common than we realize that a guy just gives it all away. I've met guys who gave it all away and then realized he'd actually been EXTREMELY unfair to himself and his future life. 50/50 is fair and equitable. Aim for it. If you want to be generous OR make up for what you believe are past indiscretion, then you can give extra voluntarily when you decide you want to and not when a judge tells you that you must do it. Treat yourself fairly.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 08:42 PM
1

I live in a small town and have neighbors within a few blocks that i wouldn't know if i met them on the street. In a city, i bet you will never run in to her. However, I totally get the thought that it would ease the mind to know she is absolutely not going to appear before you. Peace of mind is worth a million bucks.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 08:32 PM
9

Please don't chase "her thoughts on how you can improve" You will NEVER fill that space and she will simply find new things you should do or criticize your method of solving past issues. The relationship is over. Focus on who YOU want to be, move forward with your own personal improvement items and then find that person who appreciates who YOU are, faults and all. You are in charge of who you want to be. Good luck. Took me 46 years to figure this out.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 05:34 PM
1

I've been mildly wrestling with this issue. Reading these posts and the variety of opinions helped me form mine. My kids are grown but I still want them and her to understand that I appreciate that she was a good mother for my kids. I'll get a small token gift and tell her HMD. In my opinion, it is all about the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 07:28 PM
3

It is all about the kids!!! If they need cash or support in getting her a gift, then help them out. It is part of growing up, teaching appreciation to others, and demonstrating adult kindness to them. Nothing extravagant, just good kid gifts for mom. Show them what Father's day should look like, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 04:40 PM
1

I am very intrigued by multiple posts using the term "emotional affair". I think my STBX developed an emotional attachment to a guy, however due to extenuating circumstances, I'm pretty sure it is not physical or what I typically thought of as an affair. For those that used this term, is that your meaning as well.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 05:23 PM
1

The length varies. I live in a rural area and slim pickings for lawyers and they are all busy. We're at their mercy.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 09:29 PM
3

Very inspiring and comforting. We're in month 8 of a very simple divorce. She was not an easy person to be with before she filed but she has shown her true colors as this has progressed. I'm looking forward to finalizing the divorce and moving on. Co-habitating has given me the insight and understanding that THIS IS OVER, and thank goodness for that.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 09:21 PM
1

With a split pension, do we each pay our on federal tax bill based on the amount we actually received? I saw something that made me believe that alimony income, for the spouse is not taxable. With a split pension, will I be paying taxes on the spouse portion that never gets to my pocket?
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 02:26 PM
6

Yep. I agree. Thx
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 02:02 AM
2

My divorce will likely drag on another couple months for me. I'm not looking forward to dating but realize companionship will be cool for plays, entertainment, etc.so I know I'll be looking. However, there is no way I will consider remarriage. 48 years since my last date with someone other than my wife so that should be interesting, lol. Kinda makes your "starting from scratch" comment hit home.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 07:40 PM
3

I hope you can move past this moment. Just try to make it through this urge and it will get better. Reach out to professionals. Hotlines are available. Humans kindness and love are there. Just open yourself to that spirit.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 10:24 PM
5

STBX and I are co-habitating while divorce drags on. Very quiet and cold atmosphere. Although I really try to avoid "poking the bear " (reference to making her angry, not sex) I do have a few things that bring me secret pleasure. I started cooking foods that I enjoy but she has considered foul. Making the house fragrent with sauerkeaut or baked fish serve that dual purpose. Does that make me a bad person?
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 04:57 PM
3

Ok. So, if you haven't yet taken the hints from the crowd . . . . .GO!!!! Make yourself have a blast.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 09:58 PM
4

I really have sympathy for your situation but believe that you are truly the only who can change it. All the tips; exercise, meditation, joining groups, developing hobbies that you have passion about, working at creative ways to be the best father you can be, etc, are all sound advice. Please research ways in your community where free programs and group activities are offered. You WILL get through this but you must work at it. Please don't give in to the pain. Push through and you will thrive.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 07:22 PM
1

I'm glad that you are taking time for yourself and making yourself a priority. However, please pat yourself on the back for stepping up as a caregiver. You did the right thing, although you could have mixed in some self care, and you should be proud that you went the extra mile. You cannot control her response and so just feel good that you were there for your partner.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 06:54 PM
2

I think there is a lot of value in your evaluations. I appreciate the insight.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 12:14 AM
3

My divorce is not final yet. She filed but only said she wasn't happy and no more explanation. About 3 weeks of things feeling @ normal in our co-habitation and then she became bitter, angry and stopped talking. I now think it is because she sees me not broken and actually excitedly moving forward with my plans for a new life. I'm so anxious for the final signing and officially moving on. There is still pain and angst but it is great to overwhelm those feelings with excitement for freedom and ad…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 09:05 PM
5

My stbx filed after 45 years. I was shocked but also realistic that our marriage was not great. Divorce is taking forever and we still share same house but it is pretty miserable here. I have started keeping a "diary" of all the things she has done or is doing so that if I ever get moppy or start to question my existence without her I'll just look back and thank my lucky stars. This new adventure will be all about ME. I'm looking forward to the next 45 years being awesome. Wish me luck.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 08:59 PM
4

Don't worry about recording her. Record yourself whenever you are together. This will be your best defense if she tries something legal, like a restraining order, etc. It sounds like she has passed the reasonable stage and so my best advice is to only respond with bare minimum words, do not engage in lengthy discussions, do NOT ever lose you temper or react meanly with words or action. If you feel you are reaching a boiling point, simply walk away. She is the only one that will gain if you guys …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 08:48 PM
1

Thx. It sounds like, unfortunately that you are speaking from experience. Luckily, we are not dealing with a mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 08:44 PM
3

Stay strong and keep your cool. I feel for you as you are really in a tight bind. You are not alone, although it must feel that way. You are not the bad guy, although I bet you've entertained the thought. I have no practical advice except that you will find happiness, security and love as you move on. For now, concentrate on keeping it together. Meditate/pray/lean on friends, etc. Whatever works for you that can bring you some peace. I'm digging way too far into pot and alcohol and trying to ree…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 06:49 PM
2

Thx. I agree with the comments. A piece of my question is that I'm not sure she actually changed her mind. I'm wondering if it is a strategy of saying she's staying in the house and then changing that decision at the last minute. I cannot see any benefit to doing that. It is a large, high-maintenance home and it is impractacle for her to stay.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 02:46 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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