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afinepairofeyes Archive

View 1 post and 42 comments by afinepairofeyes on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
36

LTR/MARRIAGEafinepairofeyes/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 03:11 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

I am glad to hear you don’t feel unsafe. The only thing I will say in addition to what everyone else is suggesting, is a way to include self care. Anything that allows you to be happy, and only focused on you for a little while each day. I find it helps me keep my balance. It also might allow him to see you are happy and peaceful regardless of his interactions with you. When you seem content, he will view you as his soft place to land, without you having to try much. Sending good wishes your way…
/r/RedPillWives07/11/19 07:47 PM
12

This! From your description of the issue, OP, this seems abusive. I am saying this because: 1. You’re trying to keep the peace at home 2. You’re thinking of his ‘triggers’ 3. He blocked you and walked away. No matter how bad the situation, abandoning you is not a mature response. 4. Most importantly - this has happened before. It’s a pattern now Do you ever feel unsafe in any way with him?
/r/RedPillWives07/11/19 04:21 PM
20

This is so lovely, congratulations on the compliment. It recognizes the effort you made all these years. It was a wonderful reminder to me too, and inspiring to read first thing this morning. 😀
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/19 04:45 PM
1

Oh ok, 😃
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/19 10:01 PM
2

Hi, I am not OP, but I am really intrigued by what you shared today. Would you be so kind as to share some tips on how to visualize? I read about it in self help books and websites, but I haven’t nailed down the actual practice yet. Thanks so much!!!
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/19 02:41 PM
3

I read the surrendered wife again on my phone. I have it saved there as a quick reference. Just open the kindle app, go to the book quickly and read the section I need reminding on, especially the strategies to implement a concept. And I read people’s stories here to remind me how well the concepts can work.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/19 12:52 PM
1

Hi, Ignore me if you wish, but as a stranger who wishes you well, I am just checking in to see how you are doing.. I hope you are well..
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/19 04:01 AM
2

Good luck, and stay strong!
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 02:25 PM
5

You are quite welcome. And don’t say “was”. You still have good instincts, especially since you saw fit to ask the group here. It takes courage to share shortcomings in your life with a bunch of strangers, even if they’re being kind to you. You are young, articulate, and from your other post, I see that you have your faith to give you strength. What worked for me was something my mother taught me: that I had to put my feelings, my instincts and my sense of calm before trying to please anyone, ev…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/19 05:13 PM
22

Please please run away as fast as you can. I have been in a position where I felt like I have “begged” for love/affection/attention. It destroyed my self-esteem and my confidence. I went from being a bold go-getter to someone who doubted everything I said and did. I have recovered now, but it was a rough road for a while. If your partner sets down conditions to show you positive feelings, this relationship is already transactional. He should want to make you happy; definitely so early on in the …
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/19 02:19 PM
2

This is lovely, thank you for sharing!
/r/RedPillWives18/08/19 11:30 PM
2

INTJ and 3.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/19 11:53 AM
–

My goals: 1. Walk 40 miles through the month. Average of 2 miles a day, if I walk 20 days. Just to get outside and enjoy the weather turning warmer now. 2. Overhaul my spring summer wardrobe: repurpose some clothes so I have feminine clothes to wear around the house. 3. Stick to a simple nightly skincare regimen. Every day of this month.
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/19 07:33 PM
1

You’re quite welcome. I am glad my perspective presented you with a different point of view.
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/19 05:11 PM
11

I can say from personal experience, “ decision not made” means we are not ready for kids or that we are having trouble conceiving. As a woman married since about 6 years and hitting 35 soon, I hate it when close friends or family, as much as they love me, bring up this topic. They don’t know the most intimate details of my life, my health and my marriage. I keep some of my life private from my closest friends too, because these details involve my spouse or his family and I wouldn’t want to breac…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/19 08:03 AM
4

Wonderful suggestions in all previous comments. I benefited reading them too. My 2 cents: Sharpen your mind. By reading, listening to podcasts or books which interest you, solving puzzles or some such… whatever appeals to you. Whichever area interests you. Look up YouTube videos on etiquette. You might know a lot of what is said, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded once every so often. :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 02:21 PM
9

I second the sentiment. This is a group of happy supportive women ( and sometimes men) who helped build me up this past week too. Best decision I made this past year - to join RPW.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 02:14 PM
1

Thank you !!
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/19 06:11 PM
3

Hello! I was reading your comment, and I wonder if you could share which herbal powder you use? I also love using gram flour. My skin gets flaky and it works wonders. Thanks so much!!
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/19 03:59 PM
1

I believe I just commented instead of replying, so I ll do so again here. Thank you for helping me frame the conversation so well. I ll be sure to try them out.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 01:18 PM
2

Oh thank you! I will be sure to check this out.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/19 11:42 AM
1

I started reading the surrendered wife in April of last year, and then slowly began implementing it. RPW was a serendipitous find while google searching TSW’s success stories. That’s when I started reading and internalizing; implementing came a month or so after. So it hasn’t even been a year, and I haven’t been too perfect with implementation. We also lived long distance for almost 4 months during this time, to complete the story.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/19 05:02 AM
1

Thank you for the detailed response. I love how you framed all the conversations. This is will be valuable when we talk to each other, both on phone, and in person.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/19 02:54 AM
2

This one account is what makes me doubt it. I don’t know what else to say. Trust is eroding fast. And the thought of this account makes me palpitate.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/19 01:39 AM
2

And I don't know how to bring up this issue again. I am at my wit's end. I have asked to simply be allowed to see a statement to balance books, be told the balance on the account at the end of the year to know if we can invest ( I have a degree in Finance, so I am to handle retirement planning), or just to know if we have spending money for a vacation we want to take this year ( it is my turn to plan). All of these have been met with stone cold silence or anger. I do get to see his retirement pl…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 10:33 PM
3

Sadly that ship has sailed. I did talk divorce, then he convinced me to stay back. It is not an experience I want to repeat, and if the 'D' word slips my lips, I know i had better be prepared. Hopefully I won't be in such a situation. Thanks for the message..
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 10:25 PM
3

Never explained the need for financial privacy. Every word that came out of his mouth on this topic was an excuse or some backhanded compliment. He convinced me to come back saying that questioning if he loved me was silly to begin with. That our relationship meant a lot to him to just throw away over something trivial. ( The trivial issue was this bank account issue). So there it is.. As I write this, I am less convinced that trying more is a good idea. Yet, stubborn mule that I am, try I will,…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 10:23 PM
3

Hi, thank you for the thoughtful reply. My parents also know the ins and outs of each other’s money matters. They save and spend together. So this contrasts with my own marriage and feels very disturbing to me. I am very frugal, and so that is surely not a reason to hide from me. I have tried asking various times and in various ways and letting him know that it was hurtful to be excluded. He turned it back on me and insinuated that I was unwilling to give him some privacy. I am still quite unset…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 08:59 PM
2

I will, thank you! I haven't been very good at it, so there is a lot of room to improve here.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 06:32 PM
1

Thank you so much!! I intend to implement many changes once I am back home with him. And as in the past, stumbling will be inevitable. I might take you up on your offer at such a time. I know I need all the help I can get.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 06:31 PM
2

All of this.. I am going to save this in my notes and keep coming back to this. I downloaded "secrets of fascinating womanhood" and will read it before the day ends. I really don't think he is cheating either. |So sorry for this wall of text I just really love to help I must have good karma from somewhere, to get so much help from so many kind strangers... I don't know how to thank you adequately.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 06:09 PM
5

Hi, I read the surrendered wife in April 2018, and I am started implementing one chapter at a time as I kept reading through it. I am sure I still have a long way to go before I can call this process successful. You are right, irrespective of how quickly he responds, I need to be consistent in showing him he can trust me. Thank you for pointing that out.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 06:04 PM
1

Thank you for the direct, and eye-opening response. |Both of you haven't said I love you in over a year? I have said I love you many times. I say it simply, for no reason, when he is feeling down, or when I am emotional and I just want to say " i love you, and I am so glad you did ___ " |You would hate to end this relationship but speak of divorce many times? The last time, you ended up packing your bags and leaving? It was the only way ( at least from where i saw it), to get him to listen. I ha…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 06:02 PM
6

|I would like to remind you that in three weeks you will be back together physically. Yes, you are so correct. I am waiting in anticipation, but also dreading it, because I am worried about what he will say and if he will be happy to see me. I have never felt this shaky before. |I asked to examine our financials he would probably take it personally. And he should, because in that situation I’m saying I don’t trust his management of our money. Oh, I didn't think of it like this. I have stopped as…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 05:34 PM
1

And I should have started with thanking you for your kind words.. ​ | did this happen suddenly or the whole time he was away, It has happened gradually, over the last year or two, possibly three. I only realized it was this way when I saw my cousins interact with their SO. And it was like a wake-up call as to how much out of sync we were. I thought I was comparing, but then I realized that even if I compared our own past to present, I still felt bereft.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 05:25 PM
1

Hi there! Thank you so much for responding.. I am committed to changing, that's true. I have tried telling him I love him. He doesn't respond. Not a peep. If I push he will say something like " I know". It breaks my heart. I video call, sometimes he picks up, sometimes he doesn't. He is also stressed about work. People got laid off at work, like 40+ people out of 300 in the last year. So I know he is unsure of his position. He gets upset at me for everything. He will forget that I shared somethi…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 05:21 PM
1

Yes, not as often as I am sure either one of us would like. Frequency was on the rise before I left to go overseas. We had a dry spell for about 6 ish months early last year, but it improved after I stopped bringing it up at all, and started making changes based on RPW theories.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 05:10 PM
3

Hi, and thank you for the note. I guess I am saying he is distant, and being distant with money is one part of it. I don't need to see the money, but I wish he didn't feel the need to hide it. I should also say that I am extremely frugal, to the point where he has to encourage me to spend. So I would be surprised if he felt he has to 'protect' his money.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 05:07 PM
3

Oh yes absolutely. Silly me, I should have written them to begin with: loyal, empathetic, good cook, frugal, great hair, generous, well educated, organized, resourceful.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/19 05:40 PM
7

Thank you for doing this! For the assignments: 1. I had a difficult time finding 25 qualities I like about myself. Still working on it. 2. I need to work on being childlike, and healthy/happy. Been overweight quite a while, but lost about 1/4th the weight I want to lose ( edit: in the last 3-4 months). About 10 more lbs down should help me look like I did when we met. I thought of reasons where my happiness is limited, and I have made a 2 month plan to get that sorted.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/19 06:46 AM
2

Hi lovely ladies, and happy new year to you all. Just finished reading the first chapter, looking forward to the next one.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/19 12:22 PM
4

Maybe think about which man would make a better father to your future children?
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/18 06:47 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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