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ajackofallthings Archive

View 7 posts and 93 comments by ajackofallthings on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

See.. I do and dont get this at the same time. I get it in that.. its usually a strong connection for most so there is this desire to feel that the connection is there. But then there is also the enjoyment factor of it and that is what I dont get.. it feels good usually.. and if both the man and woman in the scenario like sex.. e.g. the woman is not a "once every now and then when all is right in the world and I dont have a headache" type of woman.. then I would think is knowing sex will likely …
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 02:25 AM
2

I'll just throw this out there.. I think MOST men have no desire to ever go through this nightmare again. That doesn't mean you cant find love and have someone in your life.. but the marriage part is a government contract. IT's not what it used to be. The fact that you may get screwed by lawyers/judge (hopefully not) should be enough to ensure anyone gets married only once. With the one caveat being.. if you were to marry someone with money and no prenup.. of course for love.. but also back of m…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 06:34 PM
2

OP.. this is 100% correct. You dont need any other advice. Pull your pants up, get yourself represented, and make the best of your options. Done.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 06:31 PM
3

In pretty much most states that will blow up in his face. If you max out CCs within a few months and it's not related to say.. joint spending like fixing up a house to sell it, or vacation together.. you just buy tons of crap for yourself or eat out, etc tons.. a judge will most likely say you are on the hook for it all. Period. I was alerted to this by my lawyer who said absolutely do NOT go buy a car, spend money on big items, etc. Smaller things like a tv or tools is not as big a problem thou…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 06:29 PM
1

and yet.. we're making nowhere near that amount. Most workers still making under $20 an hour and that's in mcol to hcol areas. Where that amount isn't even anywhere close to what is needed to afford rent, let alone living costs. If you were making 41 an hour.. you could "get by" in mcol areas. HCol nope.. still not enough. Hell SF Bay area is poverty under 120K a year salary. That's ridiculous that you need about 60 an hour to get by in the shit holes of the bay area.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 09:51 PM
3

In our 60s.. that is just insane to me. I think I'd rather just donate organs and be done with life. Maybe my grand kids will get lucky and have a better future assuming far right maga are long gone and people who actually care to see everyone do well are in place. It's so sad that so many 10s of millions barely can survive now. Case in point.. went looking at a local job.. $17 an hour.. not bad starting.. but 33 years ago I was making $18 an hour and able to rent, pay a car, gas, food. Now.. I …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 09:02 AM
1

I am in a separate room for now.. but daily she texts/emails me about how its unbearable for her to be in a marriage where we are in separate rooms, etc.. and yet.. she rides me (not the good way) multiple times a day over the dumbest shit.. and expects me to somehow work with her on our marriage. Some of it is my fault.. for sure.. I am shit on follow thru with getting things done, etc... but she just never lets up.. ever. I do things for her, take her out to eat (I know.. why would I.. to try …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 01:06 AM
8

Wow.. this is me to a tee! My wife is a decent person.. though she is a pain in the ass since I asked for divorce 10 years ago.. and never went through with it for various reasons, mostly money.. and partly kids. I still want out.. but being in a 50/50 state.. I am likely going to owe her a ton, and I am presently unemployed (she works part time).. so I cant even move out because no rental will take me without 2x rent for a salary.. which means I need about 80K to 90K a year salary to get approv…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 11:45 PM
-2

Yah.. NO. I def mean Jan 20 2025. Ya'll had 4 years to pack your shit up and leave. So dont give no shit about how you all wanted to leave when Biden won. At least Biden isn't looking to overthrow the Govt on Jan 6 and stop the election on lies and no proof after dozens of rounds of lawsuits that within the republican party were overturned. As well, Biden didnt stack SCOTUS with corrupt judges on lies.. and didn't try to change the election with bomb threats and other shit the maga nuts and thei…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 09:32 PM
8

Half of those that live in the US dont want to live here come Jan 20.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 07:06 AM
-5

I would say there are a few reasons. For sure social media is a big factor today. But for those of us in this forum gearing up for divorce or been thru it, I would say a big reason today is the way marital law typically goes especially in states that favor women and men get screwed. I would say about 95% of posts I have read in the few years I have been part of this channel.. is men who will never get married again. They would rather be alone and not deal with all the drama like feminism, women …
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 08:11 AM
1

OMG I swear I think you're my wife pretending to be a dude writing about my situation! Nearly identical.. value of house, how much we owe (about 500K), etc. lol. I am a 50/50 state and am also wondering how this is going to pan out for us once we start down the process.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 11:03 AM
3

Holy shit.. this is me.. but the opposite side of things. Wife wants to keep house, I want her to buy me out.. but she wont be able to. She'd have to liquidate her retirement. Rate is a little lower than yours.. but 5Ksqft home for less than what a 1500sqft home rents for in the area. So it's ludicrous to sell it.. but she barely works and I been out of work for almost 2 years now still trying to get back in to my field. She makes enough to afford the house and we put the loan in her name too (5…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 09:48 AM
9

Why would that matter anyway? What state are you in that they care about any of that? Unless you are beating her or the kids.. infidelity usually doesnt matter in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 06:29 AM
3

I am worried about this. I am in a 50/50 state. Right now I am unemployed, wife works contract for about 70K a year gross (no benefits). I been out of work for a year. She just started back. PRior she was out of work for 2 years (disability, surgery, etc) and I made about 200K a year. I have no clue if they will try to roll back 3 years worth of W2s and compare when she made nothing while I paid all the bills, or look at her working now and me not working yet (trying to get a job) and still scre…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 03:00 AM
1

That's the thing.. I need a house with garage.. got a ton of wood tools and stuff that I use all the time. Hard to give all that up as side gig money. But if I have to I would.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 09:16 AM
1

My concern is.. can they place cameras that are NOT connected to wifi/bluetooth? I dont see why anyone would.. short of a large sd card in it to just record 24/7 (or motion activated perhaps). Then check the video later maybe. But so SO much work.. I already have a STBXW sort of controlling like that.. but if I started to see cameras like that and she was checking them to watch video for hours to try to catch me doing something.. well shit I'd probably do something crazy every day put on a show …
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 06:04 AM
4

So.. I am pretty tech savvy.. set up my Unifi network.. e.g. a gateway plugged in to modem, switches, etc. I can enable/block any wifi or wired device, etc. I have blocked specific kids devices at times when they aint doing their chores, etc. That said.. as far as I know we have the one modem in the house (isp provider) and my gateway is the only network (wired) connection to it. It does not have wifi on it. I can see ALL devices wired/wifi on my Unifi app.. So.. as far as I know.. no spy camera…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 07:45 PM
1

Can you explain HOW it was set up? Like.. she knows how to do wifi stuff.. etc? Was it plugged in to a network port? Or is she that savvy with wifi or what? If you turn off wifi/internet in house.. can you control it like that? I have a specific gateway (Unifi) attached to our modem. So unless my STBXW bought/hired/hid a separate internet connection from me.. there isn't any way for her to have outside access to hidden cameras. She could put hidden cameras up I guess and use them via a phone app…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 07:39 PM
9

Man.. there are SOOO many things to live for and do. What about hobbies? Things you might have once thought you would like to try.. well shit get to it son. Now's the time. You got that free time.. get going. Hell some of those things.. maybe like learning how to do wood working, or fix a car, or get in to gaming, coding, etc.. might be good to teach your kids or learn with them when you have time with them. Those are ALL things you can do to keep your brain from focusing on being alone. It's ti…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 06:54 PM
6

Sometimes I wonder if most of the women out looking for a man in this age range are looking for someone to just pay the bills and provide them with a cushy life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 11:09 PM
8

Man.. forget the getting laid part.. I mean thats great and all. But after 40 to 50 or so.. I just want a home, no debt and ability to survive month to month. You're in great shape if you have a home with 500K+ profit (minus capitol gains if you dont buy another home similar in price).. money in the bank.. your freedom. That's the REAL win right there. Answer to no one but yourself. What a life! I hope to have that one day.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 11:08 PM
1

Sure.. because adding 1 bedroom doubles to triples the price right? Not at all. As someone looking for a 2bd place, I am finding 3bd/2ba homes for just a few hundred more than some 1bd and 2bd places. And they are often in nicer areas too. This is VERY much like a cell phone bill. You are paying for your phone.. and you pay a LOT more for that first phone + service. You add one more, its like $50 more a month (give or take service provider). Quite a bit less than doubling the single device rate.…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 05:25 AM
1

Sadly the child support is up to the discretion of the parent the kid lives with. So a dad pays $2K a month to the ex wife.. and you know she is NOT spending 2K a month on that kid. Not even close. It helps offset her need to work/make more, so she lives on it. It's bullshit. The way child support SHOULD work is it is an agreement of child costs. If need be through mediation/legal routes. Yes I realize it would be insane to have every divorce with child support have someone approve of the spendi…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 06:21 PM
2

fair enough.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:53 AM
11

So you're making bank.. but could make way more if you left? Does that include child support and alimony expenses factored in? Cause the more you make the more you're going to be paying her most likely. Did you fall out of love.. or just not attracted to her because she gained wait and stopped being in shape? Have you tried the approach of talking to her (if you're not out of love) and seeing if she'd be willing to work out with you.. walks, some light weights, etc.. to get back in to shape befo…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:52 AM
5

I mean.. I have asked so many to show me the proof of God and nobody can. Forever a "its faith" or "the bible" (written by man). So.. it's got nothing to do with God. If it did.. we wouldn't be paying alimony and other crap in divorce. Marriage is 100% a govt contract. Plain and simple. LONG before church and govt was involved marriage happened. Why we need to go through hoops to get divorced is because of that Govt contract plain and simple.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:50 AM
1

As far as I know, you have to refi in your name only to get her name off and you own it, which means you likely get fucked on the interest rates if you even qualify.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 10:33 PM
1

I always wondered this too. Literally a paper that gives some additional govt benefits and makes it harder to break up. There was nothing like this 100s of years ago. You got married.. no document that I know of.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 12:45 AM
3

I am gearing up to file. Primary reason I dont is money. I dont have nearly enough to afford to move out, and I am out of a job right now.. so I cant even get a fucking rental unit anywhere. Despite having some money in the bank (about 6 months worth of rent).. it wont matter. Without income they wont rent. Apartment, houses, etc. I cant find a room either.. and I have kids (18+ years old though.. so no child support). So I am unclear what to do with that too.. because if in divorce we sell the …
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 06:40 PM
2

Yah I knew you were. Just adding to your thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 03:21 PM
1

Right. Though I find it beyond ridiculous that if you were working a really difficult job to keep the money for family, but now are going to live alone.. you dont need that stress.. why should you be forced to do that just because you were before. That's some bullshit. Another reason to never get married.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 07:48 AM
0

This. Tell her (while recording) you are recording conversation and by continuing to converse you agree to be recorded. That at least gets it out there that you let her know and if she doesnt deny it.. should be legal.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 11:58 PM
1

If she has citizenship in another country and/or passports.. she can very easily buy tickets and leave without him knowing. LEgal.. no.. but she could do it. Whether or not he'd be able to find them, and get them back and her arrested for kidnapping.. thats a different story.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 11:57 PM
4

Some replies here talk about prenup. I dont know that a prenup avoids alimony or child support. Pretty sure it does not. My understanding of a prenup was primarily you leave with what you came in with. So if you had 5mil in the bank.. she is not entitled to half of that in divorce. Similar to inheritance. But child support and alimony are not part of a prenup from my understanding. Unless some states allow that to be included? Honestly.. with the way the marriage/court stuff works, I do not reco…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 04:19 PM
1

I dont think if you go from say 80k to 60k you will be forced to pay 80k. Job salaries fluctuate. I am in tech. Used to make 200K. Most jobs are paying about 150K now due to the shift in WFH, larger talent pool, etc. There is no way a court system should assume I can always make 200K forever just cause I hit that peak for a short period of my career. At least in 50/50 states my understanding is they adjust what you would pay.. BUT (big but) if you say, shift careers and take a much less paying j…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 04:11 PM
18

Now if we could just get FAIR alimony as well.. that would be great. This shit that SHE gets to live the SAME quality life she has.. thus gets half my fucking take home.. to NOT work.. while I work to earn ALL of it.. is such utter bullshit. I realize there are various things that can skew that.. but its ridiculous that a SAHM cant go back to work even at minimum wages. If a man loses his job, he is expected to still pay. If he gets a new job at half the salary.. so he can afford to live.. the c…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 05:38 PM
1

The question is.. HOW do they get approved? I assume (in Cali where I am.. and my STBXW is saying she may claim disability due to her cancer.. even though she can go on vacations, play sports, etc just fine.. I dont understand how she would get approved) they have to prove they have inability to work. My STBXW is in the medical field. She can certainly answer phone calls or such.. so why would she ever be able to get approved to not work at all? Also.. though.. isnt disability a decent amount of…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 09:09 PM
1

Im just blown away in a months time you got that much done! But glad you two are amicable enough. Did you tell the kids yet.. if so how did they take it? Are you going through lawyers or working out custody/etc yourselves?
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 08:53 PM
3

OMFG you are my slightly older brother from another mother! Same thing.. stuck it out for kids to finish school. Now they are done.. sadly I lost my job and cant get approved on rent anywhere without income. So still stuck in our shared home we own. Trying to figure out how to get out of that and all while trying to keep it peaceful but she says I have lead her on for years and took her best years, etc.. so she is very angry and doesnt totally want divorce. I am trying to be nice.. recognize aft…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 09:30 PM
12

As I read this this is what I was thinking. I mean.. I get it.. many women who are divorced or have kids, want to feel needed, wanted.. thats OK. So do many of us guys. I know I do and I am in my 50s. I don't know if OPs intention was to basically try to get guys to hate most women especially those on dating sites, but I disagree they are all like this. I also think it has a lot to do with the area you live. Two friends of mine have dated multiple women from sites in our area.. which is a good M…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 09:26 PM
1

The problem is.. rent in my area for a 1bd requires job + credit + 3 months down + 3x rent cost for income. Rent at 2200 a month. I need at least 6K a month income or 72K job to get accepted in to a 1bd. This is a MCoL area too. I looked on the outskirts of Nevada.. a city of 12000 people.. not even a city.. same price there for 1bd to 2bd. Nevada. East border.. almost nobody there.. 2K a month for a 1bd to 2bd. Lucky to find a job paying $12 an hour.. I would need 3 to 4 full time jobs to pay f…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 04:23 AM
1

a single bedroom with 5 other people sharing the one room? Or two to a room in a 3bd house.. or you had your own room in a larger home? I been looking at donating plasma.. some places pay couple hundred a month for that. But not sure how lucrative that is and being older if that is even ok lol.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 04:33 PM
1

Love this answer. You're right for sure. It's a variety of factors that could happen that got me in a tizzy. I have money.. possibly.. e.g. depending on what happens iwth house.. if we sell it (I hope) and I get half.. then 200K or so in the bank.. with 4K a month to live (assuming I get it down to that, if not lower..) means 50K a year.. or 4 years (with no other supplemental income). So that's one route. But not sure until we file what will happen in that direction. Then my stock.. worth about…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 04:22 PM
1

So everyone says this. My monthly expense JUST to survive is over 4K a month right now. That's bills, food, mortgage, etc. My STBXW wont agree to sell home. I can't force her unless I slap her with divorce in which case it will be 3 to 6 months to sell from my understanding. In that time she may decide not to make any payments (currently doesnt) and may let house go in to foreclosure. We have about 600K in profits from selling home (550K loan, 1.1+ mil sell range). So letting it go in to foreclo…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 08:10 PM
1

If she files.. I have no choice either.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 08:03 PM
1

Does anyone know if alimony, being calculated, is linear in terms of money I make vs what she makes? My STBXW could have made almost 200K full time, but despite me telling her for years to work full time she chose to work part time (RN, making 80+ an hour). Then she lost her job. My lawyer told me that in the state of California.. the judge says it's my fault for her not working. Basically the courts don't care why.. I worked making 200K, she didnt for medical and other reasons, and now the clai…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 08:38 AM
8

Wow.. that is a bullet dodged. That makes no fucking sense. Are they ALSO incapable of reaching out to say "Hey.. didnt hear from you just making sure we're still good to go". Like.. are they so entitled that it is all on you to do that communication bit and they can just assume shit? Yah.. good that happened before the date.. unless she was hot and you were going to at least get some once before breaking it off. And yes I know that is shitty to say.. but sometimes I feel like women treat guys l…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 06:54 PM
3

No context if she makes enough money on her own and/or you make a ton and in divorce she'd get a healthy check or not.. but I am assuming she does not since she lived with sister then mom for 8 weeks instead of getting an airbnb or some shit. That's not a definite.. just thinking.. that likely she realized her ability to divorce/live on her own came to a hard realization that she couldn't pull it off.. it was going to be way harder than her anger/emotions the day she left accounted for, and figu…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 06:51 PM
1

That is what I plan to do.. burry myself in work. My only issues is I have anxiety issues which make it hard to work in an office setting or even away from home really. I can't even explain it.. my mental state falls apart in crowds or office settings. So I need a WFH job (in the tech field). But it's gotten to be the worse tech market since tech started.. by an exponential amount too. I am worried in my 50s I screwed up and should have taken a different route. But part of the reason I want to b…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 07:34 AM
1

Damn.. I did a lot of the same stuff. Opened up separate account, put some of my possessions in storage (for 3 years now.. I got a fancy laser TV, subwoofers, few other cool things waiting.. for 3 fucking years now!). No.. doesn't sound like you are bein gunreasonable. I told her she can have the house (600K+ after loan is paid off), keep her retirement/pension (about 350K or more now).. the EV (50K), all the belongins in the house.. I'll take my one room of stuff and some tools.. she can have i…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 07:32 AM
1

Thanks. You too.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 07:27 AM
3

I know I would be once everything is settled.. if I can find a job again (currently out of one) and can afford to get by. I'd prefer to save money, etc.. but rents are so high, cost of divorce will wipe me out, and with no job.. I am unsure of the future. This after 30 years of marriage closing in on 60 scares the shit out of me. I have hobbies and friends/family, etc to keep me going until I die.. but the cost of living is so fucking high right now just about everywhere.. and I have little reti…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 05:30 PM
2

You would have probably been in prison. That's nuts! How the hell she is STILL allowed to drive them?
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 01:02 AM
2

She came in today telling me how I am going to be so alone, never have before.. and I was like.. I have soooo many fucking hobbies.. they alone will keep me busy. Long as I can have little to no alimony to be tied to her, I plan on a good life.. if I can figure out the job situation.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 12:54 AM
2

I have a camera or two on 24/7 in the house. She tries to have access but I do not let her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 12:52 AM
2

I'd consider that path honestly. I do some hobbies/stuff that really need a garage though.. but if I can't have that I'll survive without it. Mostly wood stuff and a gym but I can replace the gym with local membership or just doing planks and jumping jacks. :D. The wood stuff as long as I have some form of storage that is locked up.. I can always pull out with a pop up if its allowed. But it's not my ideal situation. You make the best of what you can though.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 09:44 PM
3

Honestly I want to try to live off grid. I been building batteries, solar setup, etc. Love the idea of some land somewhere.. hell even a half acre or so.. get a well put in, not sure about sewage though.. but I have the RO filters already. Build some solar arrays and feed a few large banks of batteries to have a week+ of power supply. Little 2bd/2ba home.. 1500 sqft tops.. get me a couple dogs.. and live like a king. :D.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 09:41 PM
1

Must not be in a 50/50 state. Unless they somehow actually accounted for her multiple DUIs. Seems a lot of states really don't care about anything.. infidelity, etc.. and the man (usually) gets screwed to pay even if they have 50/50 custody. So much for equal rights.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 09:38 PM
2

When you say broke.. how broke? Like.. you didn't have money to pay rent, food, phone/internet, heat/ac, car payment, etc? That broke.. if so how did you make it work? Or.. like you had JUST enough to get by but nothing more.. thus never eating out, movies, vacay, etc? I can live with the latter. It's the former that is really fucking me up right now at my age.. starting over with 10 to 15 years to retirement (give or take) and the job market is utter shit.. with no job.. and no money.. and bad …
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 09:37 PM
2

So here is the thing. I have ZERO problem with that. It absolutely makes the most sense. Our mortgage at 2.5% is about 1K more a month than a rental 1/3 the size of our house. It keeps the kids in the house (where they would also struggle to move out), and the two of us renting separate is more money than this too. BUT.. she has completely lost her shit. Every fucking day "you wanted divorce.. leave". So she goes out of her way to fight with me and the kids about every fucking thing we dont do. …
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 09:33 PM
6

I mean.. you can.. but at some point.. between age.. ageism in jobs, jobs disappearing, costs gone/going way up, and pay barely moving.. there seems to be a strong correlation to how much longer it is possible to "survive" and all those things.. one at a time is bad enough.. but all of them all at the same time.. oh.. and no job currently while needing to come up with 6 months up front (due to bad credit) to move out.. and 10K to 20K for lawyers because STBXW has no interest in mediation and jus…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 09:28 PM
1

How are you able to live on that? That makes no sense..
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 07:45 PM
1

Yup. Same. Best of luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 12:56 AM
4

Lot of not so great responses. I'll be that guy.. and say this is a fair post. I think my STBXW will be the same way. She may find comfort in another man's arms right away. Maybe many. I dont know. I wouldn't blame her. She has wanted love from me for years but we just can't ever seem to be on the same page about anything, and its caused me personally to pull away and be distant. I am human. So is she. To each their own. Nobody is perfect. What baffles me though.. is this process of divorce.. we…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 06:05 PM
2

The answer is to open your own account, direct deposit to it, and filter some money to joint account as needed while still living together for house, food, etc. The rest you keep. Until divorce. Then you deal with the split. So that there is no large shared sum for her to access.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 06:09 AM
1

That is unbelievable and unfair. I fucking hate that. I am in the tech industry and was making 200K for a few years. But the industry has largely taken a sharp dive in salary the past year especially with WFH options. So if I cand find a job paying 120K I'd be happy at this point. It is nuts to me they can say "Hey.. we're not even in the tech industry, but that you made that much we're not going to do any research and figure out the market has gone down, its much harder to land a job, etc.. we'…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 04:43 AM
1

Well.. since I'd want to bang most of the women I talk to cause I'm old and not picky any more.. I guess I am cheating lol. But I could walk around an amusement park and find 100 women I'd be happy to run behind a bush with. So not sure.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 04:37 AM
1

Agreed. I doubt courts in CA give a shit.. said elsewhere they seem to not even bother with infidelity. However my thought was along the lines of defaming someone's character is illegal (at least I thought it was) and that perhaps sharing videos of us fighting, etc would be frowned upon and might help my case mostly to avoid some judge thinking I am an asshole and have the right to enforce me to pay maximum alimony.. thought maybe it might help offset that since it seems a judge gets to decide m…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 06:43 PM
1

I figured as much. I read that even having multiple affairs.. the courts dont care. At least in CA.. not sure about all states. The only time it may matter is when you have children. In my case my 3 kids are grown and more or less out of the house (hopefully soon).
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 06:41 PM
1

I have.. explained that yes.. I flirted but beyond that nothing else. Bad times, bad marriage, unhappy, etc.. so it was nice to feel somewhat "wanted" whether or not that was the case. Frankly I doubt it given the age difference, culture difference, etc.. but to me I have flirted plenty of times before in a joking manner. Basically even at a coffee shop I'll crack a joke or something, someone responds, I crack another.. sometimes they are "somewhat" sexual innuendo's.. and by that I mean very ta…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 06:39 PM
1

Oddly I am really not bothered in terms of needing support per se. I am more interested if this will help my divorce case to lower/reduce how much I may have to pay her in alimony. I would hope a judge would say "you're a bitch for doing that.. and you purposely tried to make him look bad to others.. so for that you're getting the minimum amount and you can go get a job". I doubt it would do that.. but I am hoping so.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 06:34 PM
1

This is what I am thinking. But if she brings in 0 his lawyer should be arguing WHY? and also why cant she work.. minimum wage is like $8+ in most locations and higher in many others (that's another massive fucking problem in this country.. inflation > 2.5x our cost of living across the board, rent, food, insurance, energy, etc.. but minimum wage is literally the same as it was almost 30 years ago when I graduated HS.. I started out at $9 an hour back then).. regardless she should be able to acc…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 07:19 PM
1

Yah.. something is up here with the numbers.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 07:14 PM
1

Uhm.. so you make WAY WAY more than 200K to 300K a year if we're talking 30K a month. Seeing about 1/3 of your pay go to alimony if she did not work is realistic. Seeing most of your pay go while she doesnt have to work doesnt seem logical unless you just caved and your lawyer sucked.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 07:14 PM
1

200K is 10K a month take home. If the judge is ordering him to pay her 10K in alimony alone.. which makes no sense at all.. how would that even be possiblE? He'd work 60+ hours a week to just pay her to have a great life? How then does he afford rent, food, etC? As far as I know most states make it a pretty fair balance. Child support is a different story.. but most states that I have read have calculated income. If she hasn't worked, then she can get a job minimum wage. That would be about 35K …
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 07:13 PM
1

You said you fired the last guy and this new guy doesnt seem any better. That is what you call an ass kicking attorney?
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 07:10 PM
1

Ima say that this is a dumb comment. Unless you can somehow completely hide under the table pay from the government, taxes, etc.. there is no way you're going to hide your money. When you file, it all comes out. So her not knowing how much he made will be found out by her lawyers unless she has my cousin vinny.. and even he'll figure it out. That's just a silly statement.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 07:09 PM
1

Why are you both going to the gym together still? Also.. who cares.. you're moving on.. tell her good luck. The sooner she gets remarried the better it is for you and someone else's problem
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 03:17 AM
4

If you would be willing to answer.. what was your salary the last few years and what are you paying her every month now? Correct me if I am wrong (and if you (or anyone) knows), but child support you get no leniency on.. e.g. if you have 3 kids and the judge says you pay 1500 a month for each.. you owe 4500 a month, job or no job. But with alimony it is based on a number of factors. Besides her quality of life, it is also based on.. at least I have read.. your ability to live too. I am gearing u…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 07:53 AM
2

Wait..WAIT.. how does she have 100K, you have 50K and YOU pay child support? That makes no sense. I've never heard of the person making 1/2 the money paying child support. She must be paying you alimony then?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 07:20 PM
5

Everyone says this.. "freedom is so much better regardless of being bent over". I disagree.. to an extent. I 100% agree if you can have a FAIR settlement and still have a life. But if you're losing say 2/3 to 3/4 of your paycheck so they dont have to work and you live in a car.. that's bullshit. And there are plenty of stories out there like that. Plenty. What is TOTAL bullshit is how this all comes down to just one single person, the judge you get. That a different judge could rule totally diff…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 03:42 AM
3

I mean.. JUST dont get married. Have a GF.. so you have some pussy.. and hopefully a good person in your life. Things aint great.. get to walkin. Marriage is NOT the way to go for anyone. It's clearly a great way to feel stuck and get fucked not in the good way. But having a GF (or BF.. whatever floats your boat) at least you can make decisions like have your own home, buy what you want, do what you want.. and not be forced to make decisions/etc with them.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 04:27 AM
3

All the more reason I don't understand the desire of so many red states to throw democracy away and vote in a dictator.. everything they do is ass backwards and makes no sense to most normal people.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 03:55 AM
0

yup.. still living in some house. If she wanted that.. she could have asked. Besides that's kind of ridiculous for another adult to need to track you just to know when she might be able to leave? Our kids are older so nobody needs permission or wait for someone in our case.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 03:13 AM
1

When you say holds up.. what does that mean? Is there ramifications here that would work in my favor? Our kids are 20+ years of age, the only thing I am on the hook for is alimony and 50/50 split. I am trying to avoid alimony as much as possible but I made a bit more than double she did the past many years though she has been out of work for about 1.5 years now. I would hope that me paying ALL the damn bills and her not contributing because she was out for surgery and then unwilling to take some…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:50 AM
2

It was put in a small paper container that holds foam ear plugs. Taped in side the glove box behind other stuff. It was absolutely put there on purpose. She is the only one with access to it as I dont own an iphone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:49 AM
1

I would say that when you get older.. and start having declining issues like medical problems, etc where you may need to depend on someone.. having someone in your life that you have established a relationship with is good. Whether or not thats another woman (or man.. whatever floats your boat), or just a good friend or family member. But staying on topic... having someone that is at home with you should you fall, have a heart attack, etc.. could be the difference in dying alone, possibly slowly…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 10:33 PM
8

I honestly used to think when I was in my teens to early 20s.. the adults in their 40s, 50s and beyond were very mature, different, changed, etc. Truth is.. we almost all think like we're in our 20s still, or teens. We just sometimes rise above that pre-we-really-know-some-shit stage most of the time. But when I am with my boys.. and I am in my 50s.. we game, we swear, we talk tits/ass, etc. We all have kids, teens or older.. but we still sound like teens to 20s ourselves. I honestly feel like t…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 08:49 AM
3

My STBXW recently friended all my friends on FB. She claims she is going to share videos of us fighting and "how I really am". I said.. please do. It will show all them what a piece of shit you are for actually doing something like that. Also.. if my friends see stuff like that and think I am awful.. and dont account for the 1000s of other times we did not record of you being a piece of shit.. then they aren't my friends. I would expect most people to understand there are two sides to every stor…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 10:10 PM
1

10K a month.. you must be a millionaire. That's a whopping lot of alimony. What.. she cant get a job and afford to live on her own? Also... Florida just passed a new law that makes alimony a lot harder.. make sure you look in to that. It's apparently one of the best states for men to get divorced in now.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 09:28 AM
1

How does a guy fake it if they aren't releasing a load? Or with condom on and thus never have to show/prove it (I guess why would you).
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 11:56 PM
3

How much does she make.. does she work at all if so full time? As others said.. you should actually know by now how much the 50/50 split is (if you're in a 50/50 state) and roughly how much alimony will be.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 03:59 AM
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