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ajcfknowsnothing Archive

View 0 posts and 13 comments by ajcfknowsnothing on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

I think you might be confusing respect/Following His Lead for complete submission and obedience. Let's be real. In the bedroom I am completely submissive and follow his lead. That's just that dynamic that works for us. Outside of the bedroom there are plenty of things that I disagree with him about. Especially when we're talking about political or theological nitty gritty. He doesn't expect somebody to actually agree with him at all moments or be a doormat. But when I do disagree with him I do i…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/25 01:06 PM
11

He's not joking. And that's OKAY, that's who he is. He wants somebody to buy him flowers and plan dates and let him be soft. And that's VERY OKAY. And it's super okay if this isn't who you want to be in a long-term relationship with. It's not because he's bad or wrong, but it means he's not a good fit for you if those things turn you off.
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/25 10:18 PM
1

How long has it been since the divorce? Regular self-care and fitness routines, rebuilding social support networks as necessary, therapy or self work to make sure you have actually worked through any trauma associated with divorce.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/25 12:18 PM
1

Lots of folks have offered nuance on submission/respect. I'd say that two things are probably key here: -You need to move your window older. Unless you find a recently single guy with a same age kid, you are now valuable and young and hot to 40 year olds, not 32 year olds. (My sweet spot After Divorce was about a decade older, I'm 39 and the guy I ended up with is 49.) -Patience. Truly. The guy who's gonna settle down isn't the first dozen guys to approach you on a dating site. He's out working,…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/25 12:10 PM
1

Because it's a big enough chunk of the population it's worth noting, there is a real outlier group. And nothing is gonna sway a guy in that category. If you are trying to talk proposal rates it seems fair to mention "Some men are just never gonna marry, or have to have a Major Reason To." It might be a soft spot but I spent too much time with one of the "Never Gonna Get There" guys. Finally figured it out. It didn't matter what the ratios and values were. It took someone else pointing that out f…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/25 10:21 PM
23

Yep, 100%. I spent literal decades either single and providing for myself or married in a relationship where the guy stopped meeting even 50/50 let alone providing very quickly after the marriage. Rounding down on my own Joy, cutting corners when it came to my personal experience, was normal. Having someone say "We are gonna get this done right for you" is startling and uncomfortable. He sounds like he is centering your Joy. I'm glad!
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/25 01:06 PM
5

I LOVE flowers. Like genuinely it is the most important part of the gift process for me (F, 39) from my boyfriend (M, 48). I was very clear, not bossy but direct (think Laura Doyle's expression of desire) the first holiday that passed with him when we were together that Flowers are the most important part of my experience of receiving gifts for holidays. I don't particularly care about cards (he's not a Gooey one to begin with), I don't care about chocolates. I'm a pretty utilitarian person, and…
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 02:10 AM
10

How long have you been in the current relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/25 09:10 PM
11

Seconding that this is a "what is a deal breaker to you" situation. If this is about someone you are dating and it makes you lose respect for him/your relationship, then that is the answer.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/25 09:12 PM
8

This part about surrendering, but since you are just dating being able to choose to move on, is key here. If this is a man worth marrying then you should be able to surrender and trust him to care for your needs. If you are doing that and he is showing you who he is, trust him. And find a husband who will show up right.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/25 07:08 PM
2

I found the Surrendered Single Laura Doyle book to be really helpful. Her thoughts on being receptive to compliments and attention versus being avoidant of them have been really important to me. Once I focused on being Receptive/Open to Receiving (compliments, attention, not just from Men I was interested in dating but from the world, I really felt a shift in the world. I just make sure to smile, be grateful for compliments, and it flows in. I was like you, very traumatized by street harassment,…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/25 09:25 PM
1

This has been one of my biggest learning curves, not just in terms of money but also in terms of emotional labor. I used to automatically look for ways to be of service, hold a man's emotional baggage, all of it. But a solid man doesn't need me rolling into his life and holding his end of life up. Financially, physically, behaviorally. And what it attracts is men who need a Mommy. Yes, I have the capacity to help. But any self-sufficient man who needs help won't be coming to the woman they are d…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/25 08:46 PM
1

New around here, and other folks have covered the actual gameplan moving forward, so take this with a grain of salt, but I feel like this is firmly covered by Laura Doyle's statement about what is on "Our Paper". His closet is his closet. That's his paper. What he does with his clothes is his paper. How he leaves clothes about is his paper. I think Doyle's most engaged approach would be to say "I want have a clean and visually tidy house." Maybe he will figure out a hamper, or a suggestion for y…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/25 01:34 PM
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