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allbusi Archive

View 3 posts and 22 comments by allbusi on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I've been through the side bar a couple of times. Something about Glover's way of speaking on the podcast spoke to me differently this time. Sometimes you have to hear the same thing in a different way to relate to it.
/r/askMRP11/05/24 10:47 AM
1

Well damn. This hit me hard.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/23 02:07 PM
1

To be honest, I've grown up a bit and reframed the situation with my dad. It helped me accept it and let it go. I made peace with it over the past several years. I take the good from the relationship and let the rest go. It's not that I've taken new actions. It's more of reframing the why behind my actions. Train hard and crush a PR at the gym as an example. I do that to do and overcome difficult things, build my mental and physical strength. It's a boost to my self confidence and no longer some…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/23 05:25 PM
1

I see. I consider myself too introspective. Journaling has helped quite a bit in this area. A huge reason why I am the way I am has to do with my relationship with my father growing up and lack there of later in life. That relationship molded me to have perfectionist tendencies (i.e. I need to do everything incredibly well to be deserving of anything). It's deeply entrenched in me and I have been working to overcome that mental model for a while now.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/23 10:48 AM
1

This is useful feedback. To answer your question about initiating, yes. I initiate. I am rarely turned down, but I find the intimacy to be kind of bland when I initiate a lot. I have attempted to adopt the 2/3 rule in this area which has been a challenge because she will initiate from time to time and then have week long or longer droughts. This is somewhere I am trying to find a balance. I think it's simpler than I am making it though. Just initiate when I want it and quit thinking about it. I …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/23 10:47 PM
1

Great question. As for the how...the main thing for me is continuing to be acutely aware of how invested I am in ever her small reactions. Meditation helps to bring it to light and then do something else rather than trying to ignore the fact I am watching for a reaction. Those things I plan to do are more gym time, more outings for a broader circle of friends even during the week, more walks to catch up on podcasts, and less time sitting in the bed watching a streaming show at night while she pl…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/23 10:35 PM
1

Thanks for this thoughtful response. I have tried to dial it back. My problem is I go nuclear and completely starting ignoring anything and everything. After a few days, she panics and accuses me of being withdrawn and weird, not talking to her, she starts crying saying she "can't do this." She explains she only feels connected when we talk and when we're emotionally connected, etc. etc. I get annoyed with this line of reasoning because it seems I am supposed to actively work to consistently mai…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/23 03:50 PM
1

This is interesting. Where does this show up in my words and phrases? Would covertly introducing reasons not be a covert contract? i.e. doing it for someone else and not for me
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/23 03:47 PM
2

Your line of questioning here tempts me to unpack a lot, but I don't think this is the place for it. In essence, it's pretty simple in my mind. I am very successful financially and physically. I consider my SMV to be high. When I don't feel desired or get what I want without asking for a period of time then I start to question why the hell I try so hard in the first place therefore gauging my success off my spouses reactions. I know...what a beta way to think and ridiculous thing to say. I am ow…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/23 03:46 PM
3

I agree. Re-reading what I wrote ... it looks ridiculous. I am deeply invested in her reactions. I have realized this over the past year. I judge my day based off her reactions. That's not easy to admit, but at least I've uncovered that. I post here to hold myself accountable. The main reason for coming back is to understand how to practically address my bad habits through action. My mind gets wrapped up in her reactions. Instead of focusing there, I have to iteratively focus on me and call atte…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/23 03:39 PM
1

OYS # 5 Continuing to implement NMMNG breaking free activities into day to day and mental habits. One breaking free habit I enjoyed a lot was writing out what an ideal man is to me. Mid 30's 6'0 195 lbs Married 11 years 3 kids under 10 Lifts: DL-425 / Sq-405 / Bench-315 Mission: Live without the need for external validation. Remove the need for praise. Be my own judge. Develop more self confidence. Remove covert contracts and increase my SMV iteratively. Identify what the ideal man is to me and …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/23 11:21 AM
1

OYS # 4 Finished NMMNG for a second time. Did most of the breaking free activities and trying to apply the concepts to daily habits. Mid -30's. 6'0 190lbs Married 11 years. 3 kids under 10. Mission: This evolves the more and more thought I put into it. Live without the need for external validation. Remove covert contracts and increase my SMV as high as possible. Identify what the ideal man is to me and live in accordance with those principles as close as possible. Why I'm Here: I seek validation…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/23 11:05 AM
1

Where is the best place to find Chateau Heartiste content now? I see the old .org site is still out there with older content, but the .net site seems to redirect. I would guess it is some sort of malware.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/23 11:27 AM
1

Where is the best place to find Chateau Heartiste content now? I see the old .org site is still out there with older content, but the .net site seems to redirect. I would guess it is some sort of malware.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/23 11:27 AM
1

I agree. My OYS may seem a bit dull in spots, but these are deeply engrained habits that have to be broken with small steps in the right direction. Those steps have to be focused and intentional to the point where we're conscious of them on a minute by minute basis. Patience and persistence will go a long way here. I don't believe we can affectively break habits by trying to change overnight.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/23 10:53 AM
5

OYS # 3 I am half way through NMMNG for a second time. I have been doing the breaking free activities as a practical way to work towards some of my goals. Mid-30's. 6'0, 185lbs. Married 11 years. 3 kids age of 10 and under. Mission: I continued to focus on me this week. Made an appointment for a massage. Made an appointment for a haircut. Went for walks when I needed to decompress. The words I use to describe my mission has changed, but it's still the same concept. I am using these weekly OYS' t…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/23 11:30 AM
1

Without answering your question directly, my main issue is that our physical relationship is 98% of the time me 'giving' to her. She does not seem to have any clue that 'giving' to me without strings attached may be something a man would enjoy. Thus far, I have totally STFU about this topic because this is not something I am going to negotiate successfully. It would just come across as needy. The 2/3 rule makes sense, but I am also going to scale back how much I am 'giving' to her.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/23 11:33 AM
2

Thanks for the thoughtful response. This really helps. Yesterday, I started reframing the situation. Instead of observing every little interaction and conversation with my wife in hopes of intimacy, I reframed the problem into "what am I doing now that increases my SMV." On a small scale in terms of a day, this led to buying new clothes, shaving, scheduling a hair cut, being casually social with other women, and getting some sun on myself. I started the NMMNG breaking free activities today. I ho…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/23 11:22 AM
1

Anterior shoulder, but I believe the root cause is bicep tendonitis. I am not on gear. I've lifted since I was 12. I thought about getting on gear many times, but had several friends who were on gear and their natural test levels didn't come back up for years after they quit. They had trouble having kids, etc. I am done having kids so will likely reconsider doing TRT at some point.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/23 11:17 AM
2

OYS # 2 I started reading NMMNG again as someone suggested last week. I am taking it slower and doing the "Breaking Free" exercises. Mid-30's. 6'0, 185lbs. Married 11 years. 3 kids age of 10 and under. Mission: To add on to last week, my mission is to breakout of the beta mindset I've had for so long. I've given too much of myself too often to my wife and often have resentment because I feel taken for granted. I took time this week to workout more in the evenings when I normally would have been …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/23 11:24 AM
1

I read nmmng last year. I need to find a way to implement much of what I read without going too hardcore too fast. So yes, I’ve read 80%, but I need to make it more than words on a page. OYS was my way of helping that process
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/23 12:08 PM
1

OYS #1 I read the Rational Male nearly 2 years ago and it changed my perspective (in a good way) on relationships and life in general. I have read 80% of the side bar. You could say I am 2 years into my Red Pill journey, but this is really the first time I decided to share. Mid-30's. 6'0, 185lbs. Married 11 years. 3 kids age of 10 and under. Mission:For the shorter term, my mission it to dedicate my efforts to improvement on myself and not solely on my relationship with my wife. For two years no…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/23 11:15 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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