| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 20 | Anyone else ready to invest more time in discussing ways to expedite the path forward? My nieces are 7 and 9... | DISCUSSION | ames0630 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 10:57 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 13 | When you won’t send him photos...riiiight. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/20 03:16 AM |
| 47 | Exhibit #59269428 proving men are unable to handle rejection 😂silly 🐇, tricks are for kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/20 03:14 AM |
| 3 | This ones for you LVM ;)Yup. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 12:54 AM |
| 21 | Men are too interested in my job - red flag?I met a guy once that made it his mission to get the "significant other" perks. Not sure if that's a thing, but if the dude travels a lot... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/20 10:51 PM |
| 5 | Do you meet more quality guys compared to east coast?Truth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 10:07 AM |
| 13 | So many queens here 😻😻This sounds amazing. Would you share with me as well? Thanks! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 02:18 PM |
| 3 | Chasing unavailable love is self abandonmentWow. Powerful. Thank you, OP. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/20 04:52 AM |
| 2 | Anyone else just done with dating?🙌 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/05/20 12:09 AM |
| 18 | Anyone else just done with dating?I feel ya, sis. I got so fed up with the scene, I threw in the towel for almost two years. Highly recommend. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/20 11:24 PM |
| 44 | “Men sleep with who they can but women sleep with who they want. Men marry who they want but women marry who they can” Thoughts??I'm a 36 yr old women with ZERO interest in marrying "who I can", so riddle me that, Batman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/20 11:44 PM |
| 4 | Is being called 'cute' less of a compliment?🤢🤮🤮🤮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/05/20 03:00 PM |
| 11 | Advice you would give to younger selfFor the love of christ and everything holy, focus on yourself, your education, and laying the foundation for your 1st career. This will take YEARS of mental energy and focus. Your headspace is a zero sum game. This means you only have so much of it. Let's say this precious resource of yours is blood. Guys are like vampires here. They will suck all your mental energy away until there's nothing left. Both the good and bad ones. (Good luck studying with no mental energy left.) re the existence of H… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/20 05:06 AM |
| 11 | My boyfriend didn't like the way I brought up an issueI second this 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/20 04:01 AM |
| 9 | Thought I’d make something.True story. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/20 03:53 AM |
| 1 | Anyone else ready to invest more time in discussing ways to expedite the path forward? My nieces are 7 and 9...Thanks for engaging!! Dont get me wrong, Ill take a great socratic debate any day of the week, but its hard to respond here because it seems counter-productive. The baseline of your comment is (1) factually inaccurate and (2) does not align with the spirit of the question. Said out of love. Consider, only read further with an open mind or not at all. Cool with me either way. (1) The Cracked reader demographics are yound men; fact. (1) Media platforms -- and marketers, sellers, product designers,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 01:05 PM |
| 4 | Inside the mind of a misogynistThank you for the dialogue! To be clear, I do not this article is intended to make men think critically about society, I believe it's intended to help them become more open to the possibility to begin to think critically about themselves and possibly their friends and fathers. So it's not "clearly intended to be read by women." Quite the opposite. I can make this case in 5 minutes filled with numbers in graphs about Cracked's demographics and how you do not grow an audience without clarity aroun… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/20 01:23 AM |
| 5 | Anyone else ready to invest more time in discussing ways to expedite the path forward? My nieces are 7 and 9...Thank you for the dialogue! I agree its disingenuous to speculate what you described. I hope nothing I wrote came across that way. I also agree that men know exactly what they're doing. Thats something this sub taught me. What I am suggesting is that they -- like most humans -- have a very poor grasp on their own subconscious biases or experiences which drive their thoughts, and then actions. So even if they wanted to get better -- a rare thing obviously -- they wouldn't know how to do it perman… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/20 12:35 AM |
| 3 | Anyone else ready to invest more time in discussing ways to expedite the path forward? My nieces are 7 and 9...I agree with you whole-heartedly. I do. That's why this sub is phenomenal. Its helped me to do that very thing, and I'll be eternally grateful. That said, who says this needs to be an either/or thing? Why not do both? <insert visual of two row boats; one using one oar only, the other using two.> Consider which row boat will move faster? To be clear, I dont give a shit about moving faster for young boys. It's the young girls I'm thinking about. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 11:43 PM |
| 12 | Anyone else ready to invest more time in discussing ways to expedite the path forward? My nieces are 7 and 9...1000% Agreed. Factual, unbiased education is always a huge part of the answer. Particularly curriculums which include teaching kids how to analyze and think about the problem vs. the old, traitional 'what to think' model. I would add a complete overhaul to the sex ed system is in order as well. See the John Oliver episode on the topic. It's free on YouTube with 20m hits. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 11:08 PM |
| 1 | Inside the mind of a misogynistI dont think the author is going for factual. Quite the opposite. He's calling out subliminal messages men get that contribute to all the anger men see, then participate in. Calling out the factually inaccurate messages make his tactic that much more valuable to stimulate critical thinking with young men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 10:37 PM |
| 5 | Inside the mind of a misogynistAh...the Cracked audience is young men. Writers are trained to know that and speak directly to them, not women. I'm just as angry with the current state and what it has taken from me and all the women I know, sis. But if THIS is your least favorite type of article... yea, no bueno. Getting young men to think critically about our society and the conscious and subconscious messages they receive is the ONLY path forward. Said another way, unless we SUPPORT this type of article written by a man, for… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 10:31 PM |
| 1 | Inside the mind of a misogynistIs anyone else open to thinking critically about whether or not the author could be doing a good thing by calling attention to a few failings in the patriarchal systems and or a few shitty male biases/thought patterns? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 10:19 PM |
| 2 | Can one woman's LVM be another woman's HVM?I think so. If a man is uninterested yet still pursued by a pickme, he will not apply effort. Yet that same dude may behave differently given the opposite circumstances. A rare occurrence, but still within the realm of possibility. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/20 01:28 PM |
| 11 | The Finsta problemSame. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/20 01:54 PM |
| 16 | If you have to ask "who is this?", you aren't going to like the answer. Don't reply to anonymous texts.I see you with that stacked deck of leveling up projects, OP. Well played! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/20 12:59 AM |
| 7 | Back on the dating scene during trying times, help me decide if this man is a dud or a dime?Just finished a relationship and hopping directly into the first available option? Believing that "it's critical for me to find someone in this point in my life in order to lead the life that I want"? Girlfriend, hard stop. What's critical in the life of a 20 year old saddled with the society's limiting gender beliefs for women (NONE of which is your fault btw) is to snap out of it. Exit the dating pool immediately. Take a breather. Investigate how how society + your experiences have cultivated … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/20 06:40 AM |
| 14 | Opinions on today's sexual expectations...In the spirit of supporting one another to level up... I dont think this is as black and white as either portrayal. That said, you make two strong counter-points: Men frequently choose porn over women, but this has to do with their hatred for emotional labour or effort in any form. Fending off LVM to find the few HVM has ALWAYS been a struggle. However your use of mass generalizations positioned as facts comes off as 'out of touch', at best. E.g. "Women will never struggle with not being attract… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/20 05:24 AM |
| 5 | What act of leveling up are you proudest of, & why?Coming off a transformative trip to Senegal, Africa over the holidays with old college friends. Since returning I (35) have begun: Active interviewing for new/better position. In final stages with a few, looking to make a decision in the next week or two. (Aprox 30k increase/level up) Running. Lost 19 lbs. 17 more to go. Personal rebrand. Took copywritter courses. Began writing again. About to launch the blog. An EMBA program. I begin in Fall 2020. Journaling daily. There's a new-ish HVM in ther… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/20 03:59 PM |
| 46 | Husband did a LVM thing todayThis. LVM squared. Sorry, OP. You married this douchebag. The women he publically degrades while she works, did not. I'd divorce him on this fact alone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/20 01:53 AM |
| 6 | Anyone else feel shame for not being traditionally “feminine” due to your assertiveness, courage and leader qualities?Yup. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/20 01:45 AM |
| 8 | Want to quit your Facebook, but it's the only social your family uses?Man, I just deleted it. And Instagram. Yes, the additive, time wasting, and downward headspace were factors, but if I'm being honest, I hated the idea of FB manipulating me and my friends by using and selling our data. Ick. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/20 01:28 PM |
| 22 | Girls, I am devastated due to pandemicIf this is really getting to you, turn off the news and or stop reading the fearmongering digital media stories!! They are toxic just like a LVM. 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/20 04:16 PM |
| 6 | Givers attract takers, and takers attract giversGreat point. Thank you, kindly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/20 06:52 PM |
| 3 | Givers attract takers, and takers attract giversLots to unpack here. For starters, I'd definitely pick up the book. It's a great one and will help you logic through your experiences. As I mentioned, I've always applied these concepts in professional/career-related contexts. Let me think about the dating implications you highlight and will definitely respond back later. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/20 05:05 PM |
| 7 | Givers attract takers, and takers attract giversCorrect. The OP is also correct when she surmised the Matcher's subconscious desire to reciprocate causing actual discomfort when unable to do so. Following Dr. Grant's logic though, Givers dont give to manipulate. Nor do Matchers fear exploitation from Givers. It's the Takers that poison the pool/env'ts causing Matchers (the majority) to exhibit those behaviors, preemptively, elsewhere. Think: toxic cultures. (Admittedly, I've never thought about the Give and Take implications or macro trends f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/20 04:25 PM |
| 9 | Givers attract takers, and takers attract giversMy pleasure! It's one of my favorites. I'll never forget reading it for the first time, and running to my (male) mentor all excited to share we were both Givers. His response, "A, I'm not a Giver. I'm a Matcher." Read: he was simply matching MY giving the whole time?!! Yea, mind blown. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/20 03:49 PM |
| 28 | Givers attract takers, and takers attract giversYour "Givers" and "Takers" sound a lot like Adam Grant's labels in Give and Take, OP. He also defines those in the middle majority as Matchers. Notable that his research suggests something different than what you're theorizing. Not intended to detract, just an observation. https://www.adamgrant.net/give-and-take EDIT: New to Reddit. Joined for FDS right after the WSJ article hence the flair. I mention bc the downvoting on this comment, while entertaining, is giving me whiplash. Legit curious to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/20 11:10 AM |
| 29 | Reminder: never give over your life and your body to an emotionally immature LVM"It was my needs that were usually not met." Riiiight. Good thought, buddy. Keep trying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/20 08:05 PM |
| 3 | TherapyI've done dialectical behavior therapy and cognitive behavior therapy and both were great, but I think CBT is a bit more my speed. Have you found a therapist yet? (Actually harder to do than picking the type.) If not, I'd check out betterhelp.com. The system makes it super easy to work with different professionals until you find one to really connect with. Great decision and good luck! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/20 03:55 PM |
| 9 | nOI have never read this book, but I did spend 3 weeks in Senegal over the holidays. I found the entire culture to be a dream. The men -- including my buddy from college who is originally from there and now working at McKinsey, his father (former IMF), his brother, and brother-in-laws -- to be some of biggest HVMs I've ever encountered. Watching them interact with one another, their mother, sisters, wives, children, nieces, friends, etc. literally reaffirmed my faith in humanity. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/20 02:57 AM |
| 3 | Sexual FrustrationAbsolutely correct. It is a process. And you nailed the self-love being a key part too. Final thought. Make sure you take the time to recognize and celebrate progress/milestones along the way! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 04:43 AM |
| 7 | Confession TimeHere goes the confession. I'm coming off a two-year dating detox needed to work through years of repressed #metoo-triggered trauma. Currently in early stages with a great friend turned love interest. Things are going well by FDS standards. We're taking things super slow, he's initiating all contact, planning great experiences/dates based on stories or statements I've shared over the years, he's paying, and he's cool with/supportive of abstaining from sex until I'm ready and NEVER guilts or makes… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 04:23 AM |
| 6 | Sexual FrustrationWhat you describe seems like a phenomenal opportunity to practice building self control and or discipline muscles with the knowledge that the stronger you become (through practice), the easier and faster you get to level up. There is a sense of accomplishment that comes as we begin to master ourselves. Not sure if you've got a system to break old habits or form new ones. If not, feel free to borrow mine. First, commit to try it for a short interval initially. I like 3 months, but start with 30 d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 03:34 AM |
| 3 | Boyfriend(25M) wants me (24F) to drop one of my best friends (22M) :/I can't answer this for you, and I can only speak to my own experiences. Like you, I value this trait tremendously bc I struggle with shutting off mentally or shifting gears after a trying day. But I've never experienced it with a boyfriend or love interest, only friends. Fast forward a bit, and I'm entering early stages with a long-time, 'chill calming aura friend' turned love interest, and it's pretty amaze-balls. Its early still so TBD on a bunch. No sex yet obvi, but Im hit with an immediate… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 03:07 AM |
| 17 | Do you know a HVM who gave you some faith in men?I dont know how it happened or what I did in a past life to deserve it, but I hit the Dad and paternal Grandfather HVM jackpot. Too bad the majority of male interactions beyond them have been LV, often borderline traumatic. Riddle me that, Batman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 02:53 AM |
| 8 | Boyfriend(25M) wants me (24F) to drop one of my best friends (22M) :/I can see both sides here which doesnt help, but hopefully validates your conundrum. For one, it's hard to sign off on a SO spending frequenty one-on-one QT with a friend of the opposite sex. One of the earlier commenters was spot on the advice in this capacity so listen to them. Then again, I can totally relate to wanting to preserve access to the unicorn-esk "chill and relaxing auras". Especially during rocky times. (I'm in my mid 30s and can count the number of friends who've hit this level f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 02:47 AM |
| 1 | Is this something to be concerned about? I have no idea how to repondCould this be his attempt at a joke? I literally laughed out loud when I read it. Plus, I value transparency so definitely dig the upfront disclosures. That said, I'm with the consensus here. Trust your gut, OP. If he doesnt vibe right, block and move on. If his reference to nudity even hints sexual, block and move on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/20 12:50 PM |
| 4 | Is it the season for random dates to come out of the word work or something?YES! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/20 08:55 PM |
| 15 | Is it the season for random dates to come out of the word work or something?Same!! One told me how sorry he was and asked for a second chance saying he would "do better". lol I asked him to prepare and email a list of everything he planned to "do better" at or else it's a hell no. (It would have been a hell no either way.) A brief rant ensued. No list received. A few I miss you/love texts have since rolled in and easy to leave on read. The second started off well enough then casually mentioned his current gf. Nope. Blocked. The third has just been periodically texting r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/20 04:28 PM |
| 15 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 3/7/2020Just cracked open my first FDS book -- Why Men Love Bitches -- and cannot think of a better way to spend a chilly Saturday afternoon!! Thankfully, I'm not a total novice and coming in strong after 2 years of detoxing from dating/OLD and 2 solid months of FDS. Here's to 2020, ladies! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/20 05:02 PM |
| 14 | What do you tell yourself if he picks another girl over you?When I have bad moments, I try to keep in mind that if I keep applying FDS thoughts and actions, my days of dealing with old scenarios like the one you describe are numbered. FDS living helps us spot undesirable behaviors early on -- even those perpetuated by uninterested HVMs -- before we become emotionally invested. Then we walk away clean. Leveling up is a progress. Focus on forming those new habits, and go easy on yourself when old thought patterns or old scenarios play out. You got this, si… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/20 04:32 AM |
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