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View 7 posts and 354 comments by anewlookav on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

I think if you are at a party for instance, and are attracted to a girl, in this day and age she just has to be attracted to you from the get go in order for anything to happen. If you do cocky and funny, leave her wanting more, groom and work out, text her sparingly and act like you're high value and always busy, it's absolutely ineffective in comparison to the guy she simply just WANTS. You can totally ignore her and never initiate contact and she'll still make it very easy for you if you're t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 03:07 PM
1

I thought this was more of a black pill belief than a redpill belief
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 07:48 PM
2

Sure. this makes sense. Tangentially, I've never been the BEST looking guy, but I'm often the best looking guy in a room full of smart people. Which, apropos this group, has really helped me find quite a bit of dating success.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 07:47 PM
1

Hard disagree. By your early 30s, you should have reached your potential. Steady job, house, car, etc. You are settled into your sense of style, you are nailing your grooming, and your fitness is not yet deteriorating. 28-35 is the easiest time to pull 23-30 year old women, who are now post college immaturity, looking for real relationships, and judging men on more than just looks. If you've stayed on track and hit some level of success, this is the easiest time. Before that, you mostly have to …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 05:05 PM
3

Does it literally meet the definition of misogyny, without more information or context? No. It could be religious conservatism or whatever. Is there a correlation between such behavior and misogyny? Yes. In most cases, is it an insecure man wishing to exert control? Also, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:29 PM
–

There's cowgirl, but when I think about all of the times I've had sex, cowgirl where the woman is on-top, upright and bouncing like an Amazon is a rarity. I don't think most real world women are very comfortable in this position. Typically, if the woman is on-top, she is almost fully laying on the man in a sort of inverted missionary position (where he is expected to thrust). There are also blowjobs, but once again blowing a guy to completion is a rarity, because women generally dislike getting …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 02:02 AM
1

Of course. The analogy works really well
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 04:42 PM
1

Honestly, sometimes being on Reddit is still helpful because it reminds me the world does not work the way it works in my professional bubble. It’s easy to forget the range of what behavior people can exhibit
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 12:20 PM
1

2+ years
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 12:41 AM
1

I came here thinking I might be able to help lift up men in a similar position to where i once was. To pay it forward if you will
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 12:38 AM
1

I think so. I find the best way to form and sharpen your ideas is by having them challenged. When you're in the thick of it, it's easy to miss things. People with an outside perspective can point out what you missed, or provide other explanations for what you are incorrectly attributing. It's important to listen and discuss, to come up with better ways to do things or develop new experiments to control for different variables
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 12:36 AM
1

To your point, way too many guys here would rather complain than make an effort to improve
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 12:33 AM
5

That's true, and attention seeking can sometimes appear more attractive (showing more skin, for instance). But, at the end of the day, i think men prefer: Attractive and not crazy > attractive and crazy > unattractive and not crazy
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 07:06 PM
4

I would report them and get them banned. That's not offering anything constructive to anyone Just as a counter-point (and I'm definitely not saying all women), I've had multiple women just assume my views are red-pill in this sub, and I can only speculate that it is because I'm a guy. Because I'm really not redpilled
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:47 PM
3

We might
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:28 PM
3

Haha, maybe other married men are just not as big procrstinators as I am
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:28 PM
8

I agree. Based on the name, I thought it was the latter when i joined
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:15 PM
1

Interesting. i didn't know this existed
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:14 PM
4

like no one taught them anything they were supposed to be taught about relationships growing up I agree, but I think that's part of the problem today. The kids are learning from their peers they bond with and with things they relate to online. It's like the blind leading the blind
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:13 PM
1

You're right. I agree. But it's a shame. Maybe I spent too much time in higher education engaging in round-table discussions. I was hoping to find that here.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:03 PM
6

I feel the same way, except I come from the middle-to-upper-middle-class liberal, suburban Northeast, where most people seem to have white-picket-fence kinda lives
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:00 PM
3

like no one taught them anything they were supposed to be taught about relationships growing up Whose responsibility is that? Genuinely asking. This is something I talk with my wife about a lot. I think it's a shame that we teach things in school like civics but not how to navigate relationships. I think some groundwork on healthy relationships should be part of middle school and high school education
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:59 PM
9

Guys are attracted to attractive. They're willing to overlook crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:56 PM
11

I was not the coolest guy at many times in my life, and I wasn't necessarily invited anywhere. So I threw parties myself, or extended the invite myself. What I've found is that many people are not the type to take initiative. Few people are. So, if you make the effort, you become one of the few. And when you invite people to things. They extend invitations back.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:56 PM
8

Same. I also hosted. If I wasn't getting invited to parties as much as I wanted, I threw them myself. It worked out for me romantically most of the time
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:54 PM
-1

There is a lot more at play here. I've been a pretty nice guy to women at many points in my life and - if you're attractive and helpful - that often leads to more (or for them to try anyway) even when you don't want it to.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:53 PM
6

I think that's fair. But, unfortunately, that probably does not help advance the goals of this sub. It makes it more of an echo chamber with two sets of loud voices
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:03 PM
7

Well, I'm not allowed to ask questioned directed at men in this sub, because I am a man (I think that rule is counterproductive). But mostly, I'm curious why there are so few happily married men commenting in this sub, and I'm curious how men who are in longterm relationships feel about the redpill rhetoric we often see. I don't have a specific opinion I'm addressing, though
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:01 PM
6

So, I'm a happily married man, and I'd like to think I've got a good amount of life experience. Two responses: I find it interesting how many of the men here create their own problems by listening to internet charlatans, taking social media as an authority on human interactions, and obsessing over dick size. To expand on this, I find it interesting that so many commenters refuse to listen when people offer actual concern and thoughtful solutions. It sometimes feels like they only want to hear vo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 04:58 PM
3

38M, married to a 36F. I feel like this sub - since it is titled "purple pill" - should represent more people and views from all walks of life. But, for whatever reason, it really doesn't. I joined it because I thought it might be a good place to discuss some of the issues affecting society in an engaged and CIVIL way, but it really doesn't feel like that most of the time. My biggest problem with the views expressed in this sub is not the specific views themselves, but the fact that it feels lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 04:52 PM
1

I'm not sure if that worked
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 04:43 PM
2

I think it's more similar to the job market, with regard to interviews and how desirable candidates are just as selective about the employer as the employer is about the candidate. It goes both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 04:04 PM
0

I feel like the easier way to study this is to conduct research into what porn stars inidivduals prefer, and then compare the age of the consumer to the age of the actress. Porn should be the best gauge of preference, because men don't have to account for rejection, etc. I can find statistics for average age of porn stars, but I cannot actually find information regarding studies that compare the age fo the viewer to the age of the preferred actresses
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 04:34 PM
5

Also, what kind of women are y’all basing this on? Because the only women I’ve ever met that truly only want tall, rich, conventionally attractive men, are high school girls. Because high school girls are immature. It’s true SOME women never mature past that stage, but most do. Unless you’re basing your opinions on those college street interviews with drunk girls or the onlyfans models on podcasts. The average woman is nothing like y’all describe on here all day. Their “standards” are being kind…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 02:26 PM
4

I got a third leg for you, right here j/k Joke just presented itself
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 06:34 PM
–

Well, when sex robots and vr progress to a certain point, that will help a good bit. But we have a while to go
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:33 PM
–

I've said this before and I'll say it again: SMV economics isn't so different from any other economics right now. And success in one also helps success in the other
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:32 PM
1

You'll go far with just good looks and knowing how to fuck. You'll go farther with good looks, knowing how to fuck, and being kind and considerate. Funny is a separate thing. Funny really helps in a completely different way. Funny and good looking? That'll get you the moon and the stars
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:28 PM
15

I'm a swinger, and they aren't even that common (1-in-4 swingers) in the swinger community (assuming a gangbang is at least 4 guys to 1 girl). I bet the real number is closer to 1-in-100 than 1-in-4 Orgies, threesomes, even mfmm is stuff i've been a part of
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 06:27 PM
1

I've never associated "Chad" with misogyny. Chad was just a physical description, with some implied confidence, style, communication skills, and extroversion. A Chad is a guy that women are traditionally drawn to, mostly for his conventional good looks
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:55 PM
–

Did you see this post from a few days back? Stated preferences are not the best indicator of actual preferences https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jx2iho/science_stated_vs_revealed_preferences_beta_score/
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 03:15 PM
1

What you're saying makes a lot of sense. But if you think about the actual first step, the man's job is to be magnetic. Sometimes that's peacocking. Sometimes that's just being a natural leader or winner (like the high school quarterback's primary goal is not necessarily dating, but it still works to attract). I like to think of it this way: The man's job is to put himself in a situation where he is noticed. Create opportunity and be approachable. Put out the bait. Many of my relationships and h…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:40 PM
–

This is incredibly good work. Thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 03:18 PM
–

I find it very interesting how many people, especially men, are trying to gaslight you or tell you that you are wrong. I mean, yeah, not all men... But a very quick online search confirms that research shows men are more combative and competitive, even within friendships, supported by sociological and psychological findings. Studies indicate that men often engage in more overt competition, influenced by traditional masculine norms that value assertiveness and dominance. This competitive nature c…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 03:11 PM
–

I did. I guess i define "an awful lot of money" differently. I was thinking you meant pro athlete money, whereas i think you can get a hot girlfriend with a little physical fitness and a $120k salary.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 09:02 PM
–

so leagues is an interesting thing. I’ve been thinking about the socioeconomic influence on league a lot more lately. Full disclosure, I’m a high earning professional and I live and work in an area where the average home value is around $800,000. Most of the wives in this area are quite attractive. They can be, because they can spend money on salons and daily yoga, and all of that jazz. With that in mind, if I were to think about all of the women i know that I consider objectively hot or beautif…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 08:47 PM
–

OK, I didn’t clarify, because I’ve been doing this so long, I forgot it was not obvious, but women don’t actually like meatheads. Your goal should be low body fat percentage with lean muscles, not big bulky stupid looking muscles. Also, you gotta work on your style and grooming.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 08:41 PM
–

I think about it this way (obviously everyone is free to approach it how they want). I don't pursue the initial stages any differently whether it is a short-term hook-up or a long-term relationship. Attraction is the first thing I look for. I wouldn't pursue a long-term relationship with someone I wasn't attracted to. But if it doesn't progress past this stage, at least I had sex. I'm not saying I need to have sex on the first night either. we're not in the commitment stage here, so if I'm inter…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 08:37 PM
–

You're right. People don't want to hear what works. They'd rather just blame it on the world instead of learning what they are doing wrong, implementing a plan, and following through. I truly believe that it is a very small percentage of men who are beyond hope no matter what they do. The rest are probably failed normies - who don't know what they need to work on and won't take the time to learn PROPERLY, or who don't have the work ethic to make it happen. I believe in the grindset. Buckle down …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 08:30 PM
–

But looks aren't out of reach for the large majority of men. Everyone likes to say genetics, but even if you have an ugly face and are 5'6", you can still get dates if you get a six-pack and muscles. Very few guys do not have the genetics to build muscle if they are dedicated, learn how to do it right, put in the time and effort, and - possibly - use "help" like testosterone. Many men make up excuses why they won't do this, but, as a guy who is 5'6", it all sounds like BS to me. I got jacked (I …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 08:28 PM
–

You act like money isn't a substitute for good looks. Yea, yea, then you say but that doesn't count cause she's only with you for your money. I live in a very high income area - the kind of place where a large percentage of women stay at home because their husbands make high six figures. Most of these women are smoking hot. Most of these men are not. I'll be honest, if I were fucking someone this hot regularly, I'm not too concerned about why she's with me
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 08:22 PM
–

It's a very small percentage of men who cannot improve themselves to be at least dateable. Like, even if you are 5'6" and have an ugly face, you can usually get dates if you buckle down and get a six-pack and muscles
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 08:19 PM
–

Hard disagree. The night I met my wife (a Thursday), i got two phone numbers. I reached out to both about hanging out the next day. My future-wife responded first. I went out with her and the rest was history. The other girl didn't respond until the next morning. She became a back-up option that I never had to exercise, cause things just progressed smoothly with my wife until we got married.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 08:17 PM
–

Constructive criticism? You have to work on social skills just like you need to put time into working out. It's a skill. And you can't improve that skill by jumping right into the fire. You'll learn about as much about talking to women from just asking out girls and getting rejected as you would learn about boxing from just getting in the ring in fighting a trained fighter. You need to break down the skills into smaller sub-skills to improve - like giving compliments, or breaking the ice, or rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 08:14 PM
2

Almost everything, but i cannot imagine that I would enjoy sex more from the women viewpoint
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 05:12 PM
10

I believe household tasks should be shared. I feel bad for anyone stuck doing it all. And I'm very judgmental of any man who lets his wife do it all
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:00 PM
9

If a woman is in a relationship where she does all the cooking, cleaning, house chores, works, tends children, and still fucks good... then she's probably the one settling, or there's a substantial imbalance in other ways
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 02:26 PM
2

So, three things I want to clarify. I can't speak for all men, but, speaking for myself, I don't think "body count" affects a woman's value at all. But I know other men have expressed that view, so I'll just say I disagree with those men. For me, it doesn't affect my valuation of a woman if she's had many partners. I'm very sex-positive, so I think value is based on things like good looks, education, personality, success, etc, regardless of gender. If a girl is very good looking, I would be simi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 07:36 PM
1

And ironically, when men do become sexually successful, they’re often labeled players, manipulative fuckboys, or emotionally unavailable especially by the same women who claim society worships them. I disagree with that (though to be fair, I noticed you wrote "often"). You can be both successful at sex (lots of partners and be very good at it) without being "labeled players, manipulative fuckboys, or emotionally unavailable." Those are a subset of guys who may be successful at sex. But if you ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:38 PM
1

I absolutely would not
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:32 PM
6

It's not JUST an indoctrination camp, but I agree that society has been indoctrinated to believe that college is necessary for everyone, or that it increases a person's value. There are many professions where college is almost completely necessary: doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc. And there are many professions where college would probably be very useful: teachers, business managers, investors, etc. Anyway, the answer to your question is actually very easy. It is about status. Status seeking be…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:29 PM
0

Well, I'm not a big drinker anymore. I'm a father of two young ones, so i don't get out much anymore. But until my early 30s, i was a big drinker, so that helped. I actually found it easier to hit on women on slow nights, not Friday or Saturday. Another play from my playbook is to just sit at the bar, near where people order, or to make room to let cute girls order next to you. Also, I've picked up women in public in many non-bar scenarios. I've gotten phone numbers from waitresses. I prefer hap…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 10:14 PM
0

Yeah, i wouldn't recommend that. It definitely depends on the bar, the night, etc. But "fortune favors the bold," as they say. Last time, I was out with my wife, i stayed at the table with my friend (male) and my wife went to the bar with my friend's wife. We watched two different guys try to buy them drinks. Yeah, they were ultimately rejected, but my wife is still happy to make polite conversation with these guys. One was like 24 years old. My wife (36F) laughed and told him he was cute for tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 10:04 PM
0

I'm still doing it. Just with other millennials, not younger. I won't pretend to know what works on anyone under 28. But I still get phone numbers from women in their late 20s and older. I'm one of those guys who just strikes up conversation with strangers wherever I go. And I'm always dressed well and i stay in shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 09:36 PM
0

You don't interject in a closed group. This is body language and networking 101. If her body position is closed off, you don't approach. This is like basic stuff. Look for open body language. Turned away or both shoulders facing the bar is closed. You know how, at a bar, sometimes you send one person up to get drinks for the group? Women do the same thing. If you have the right timing, you can catch her as she's getting her drink while you're waiting to order yours or waiting for the bartender t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 09:32 PM
0

I'm sorry that happened to you. I suspect I've approached women i didn't know or barely knew well over 100 times in my life. I'm trying to decide if it might be 200. I think I was 13 or 14 the first time that my friend and I chatted up some random girls we saw on the boardwalk who were about our age while we were on vacation. Spent the rest of the day hanging out on the boardwalk, riding rides, eating ice cream, etc. with them. I made out with the one. My friend made out with the other one. I'm …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 07:30 PM
4

Look, do what works for you. If you're not confident and laid back, it's not going to work for you anyway. If you've spent anytime in a college or university town, or vacation/beach town, women absolutely do not care if you buy them drinks.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:42 PM
0

Edited my comment. Anyway, I picked up my wife at a bar. Wasn't the first time I'd picked up someone at a bar. To be completely up front, my wife and I had met before once because we were in grad school together, but we'd never spoken more than "Hi, my name is, nice to meet you." But that easily wasn't the first or last time I'd picked someone up at the bar. Another move I like? If there's a group of girls clearly celebrating a birthday, I'll buy them a round of girly shots (lemon drop), send it…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:27 PM
-5

Cool. Keep believing that. More for the rest of us who are willing to take the risk. But seriously, if you're receptive to constructive criticism: yeah, the true percentage might be 1% if you're picking at random. But if you can pick good environments for it, make eye contact first, read body language, and open up in a non-threatening, non-demanding manner that gives them room to easily continue the conversation before choosing to reject or accept (and then taking no for an answer), your success…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:15 PM
-3

Way too many women in this post are being dishonest or intentionally misleading about the reality of society. At the end of the day it depends on the woman and it depends on the relationship she's in. Not all women but let's be honest, it's many women. Speaking from experience as that guy, there are a lot of women who can be picked off, and it's easier if it's a boyfriend instead of a husband. Now, it's usually easier to play a long game to get a woman to leave her partner for you (flirting with…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 12:21 PM
1

I'm 38. Different generation. This was two decades ago now. I'm Asian btw, but grew up with mostly white friends, lost my virginity to a white girl. Parents are definitely more on top of their kids now but i think it only raises the average age by 1-2 years. Additionally, i grew up in an affluent community and live in an affluent community. I don't even lock my cars at night.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 01:09 PM
–

I think this is very accurate. I think many things we talk about (6 feet tall, 6 figures) are often used as a proxy for status, but I think status is really what is important there. I think status is as important as looks, although I think they are separate variables. my general evidence for this is anyone who has ever played sports in school, high school or college, knows that being the star athlete gets you girls. It doesn’t matter if you’re tall. It often doesn’t matter if you’re good looking…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 10:52 PM
1

I think a lot of the people in this sub are more blackpilled or "feeling eternally doomed" than representative of the average person. That will definitely affect their world view
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 06:18 PM
2

To be clear, i already won’t date someone because of political differences. Not these ones specifically. I would never date a conservative. But i would have sex with one
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 11:16 PM
1

Yeah we both have tattoos. Nothing you can see in a suit. Mine are collar bone and back. She's got a few. I got really into punk shows starting in high school where, like you said, there was a lot of overlap. I also do MMA and dungeons and dragons, and cross paths with a lot of counter culture that way, too
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 05:23 PM
1

You raise a great point that deserves to be recognized and addressed. IMO, when someone criticizes “toxic masculinity,” they’re not saying all masculinity is bad—just certain traits that often get bundled with it. This is the difference between a male partner who’s a good protector and one who treats his wife like a child who constantly needs protecting. I think you get that, but the distinction can be lost on people who struggle with nuance. So when Greta Thunberg calls out Andrew Tate for havi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 05:05 PM
1

Haha. I'm not really a big believer in zodiac stuff, but I think i fit the Gemini description to a T. So, i always loved people who walk two worlds. Think goth girl, dark hair, tattoos in a country club white tennis dress. My wife is little bit like this: corporate professional type, but with tattoos from her ribs to hip. Not goth though. I fit the wall street look by day: lawyer, always dressed up, spend a lot of time in country clubs. But my interests run outside of that. My music tastes are m…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 04:31 PM
1

So, i have a tangential question. I've been pretty lucky with women, didn't have a hard time dating, married someone absolutely amazing, etc. However, i always struck out with goth girls, despite my best attempts. I'm not goth. Farthest thing from it. But our paths cross with some of my interests and hobbies. I know you can only speak for yourself, but as a goth girl, would you ever date or hook up with (or do you know any goth girls who would date or hook up with) an Asian, preppy or wall stree…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 04:02 PM
2

I think this can't be said enough. And if you are already in a relationship, and you don't like something, feel free to mention it, but if your partner is actively opposed or resistant, just leave. People get too attached
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 04:40 PM
1

I agree. I support people's right to be assholes, but just do it where it doesn't bother me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 02:54 PM
0

I didn't say i was judging them. I was actually seeking to have a dialogue and understand them
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:17 PM
2

Uh. Yeah. I agree. These are distinct examples meant to act as juxtapositions.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:16 PM
-1

why are people so judgmental? As a libertarian, I genuinely don’t understand the need.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 08:48 PM
2

I see where you're coming from, and I agree there are many variables that can shift each specific case more in one direction or another. I would also have a problem with his moral high ground and refusal to get a divorce. The libertarian in me kinda just feels like people should just get together if it works, and split up when it doesn't, regardless of how much time you spent together. And we should just stop judging each other and live and let live.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:34 PM
3

Both partners need to be able to opt in or out of whatever sexual activity is happening, otherwise it gets non-consensual. I completely agree. I think this is a great point. I absolutely don't support non-consensual anything. Interestingly, however, I would define your next paragraph as sexual incompatibility: a husband complaining how he only wanted to have anal sex with his wife, but his wife does not enjoy anal sex at all, so his solution is to just not have sex because he requires anal sex I…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:21 PM
1

100%. I don't understand men who do this either. I view it like wanting to run a marathon or get a six figure job. Recognize that it's going to take work to get there, and not everyone is going to make it who wants to. No one is just going to hand it to you
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:13 PM
2

I was trying to capture as many "types" as possible, which is why I was juxtaposing tradwife against pornstar, and BDSM dom vs BDSM sub, etc. I don't have the majority of these preferences, but some might. I'm just working through incomplete thoughts and theories. Does requirement mean dealbreaker or something else? Does making it a "requirement" make it worse?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:01 PM
1

It's an academic one. i thought it might be worth having a conversation about WHY some people feel the need to judge. And also, no one has addressed: isn't this kind of judgment "implicitly policing women who actually want or enjoy being these things?" I'm asking women specifically, because I often find women are the ones to write these things, Plenty of men have responded, too. It could just as easily be directed at men, but the mods have a way of deleting my posts if I ask a question too broad…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:58 PM
1

I hear you. But as someone who held out, I'm really glad i did. After breaking up with my ex, I was about to do exactly what you said, and just lower my standards. But somehow I got lucky, because my wife was the next person I dated, and she was NOT PERFECT BUT met all of my main requirements that I had been holding out for. I know it's anecdotal, but I often think how my life would have turned out if I hadn't held out for a bit longer
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:55 PM
0

Nothing I can see. I just like to have academic conversations. i'm trying to understand WHY some people feel the need to judge. And also, no one has addressed: isn't this kind of judgment "implicitly policing women who actually want or enjoy being these things?"
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:51 PM
2

Interesting. I can see what you're saying about the tradwife thing, although, personally, I couldn't care less about that specific preference except for the fact that I don't support where they generally stand politically. That aside... the pornstar thing i feel like refers specifically to how someone is in the bedroom. That doesn't mean there aren't other things you like about them outside the bedroom, or that that is the only thing you're looking for. If that was the only thing I cared about, …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:45 PM
0

Is it unreleastic because the preference is uncommon? Or that it is unrealistic relative to the man? Something else? All of the above?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:41 PM
0

I agree. I just like engaging in discussions like this academically. Call it the debate team captain in me. I'm just curious how people who DO pass judgment in these scenarios justify their judgment. Purely academic. I'm too old to let random people's opinions on the internet affect me
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:40 PM
6

Damn, I've never told anyone about that pirate thing. How did you know?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:36 PM
-1

Let's talk about that last one. Why is looking for that kind of preference worse? And, to be clear, i'm not saying it's okay to force or expect someone to fill that role if they do not want to. But what's wrong about only wanting a woman who acts like a pornstar or acts like a tradwife?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:34 PM
-1

I didn't mean the judgment was necessarily directed at me. It's just something I see, as a reddit scroller
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:32 PM
9

I can 100% agree with that. I'm not saying you, but there are definitely some who pass judgment on men regardless of how they do it I've heard this one a lot: "It's porn. Men shouldn't expect their partners to act like that." Or "that's not what real sex looks like." But, I'll be honest, my wife definitely has sex in our day to day lives that is as kinky as porn. And so have some of my exes. It's not that uncommon. So, why would I be wrong to decide to never be with someone who had my definition…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:17 PM
2

Yes. I learned so many things just by watching, being observant, or looking it up online
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:05 PM
2

So, I'm not sure how to address the "using women as sex objects" thing, since women are also sometimes just looking for NSA sex. That said, I've had several girlfriends, many ONS and FWBs. Now, I'm happily married. I try to help out other guys all the time. Some people just like to help others. I'm Asian. When I was a senior, I was pretty popular and was dating a white cheerleader. Several underclassmen Asian guys messaged me and asked me "my secret" and how to get girlfriends. I tried to help. …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:00 PM
5

Is it obvious? Because your post asked if we agree or disagree with the comment. I didn't think the question was best served by a binary response. I made my original comment before you edited your post. And your original post clearly was missing something to address this issue, or you wouldn't have edited it. So, no, I'd argue that it wasn't obvious. Also, my answer wasn't a platitude. It was a specific response to your post, implying the statement can work if you refine its application. And my …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 07:10 PM
5

Ha. Something about using fishing analogies that don't actually make sense gives me a good chuckle
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 06:59 PM
11

Yawn. To be honest, I usually know more than them in terms of self awareness (they're mostly nonstop trying to pick up women that won't even answer them, it's funny sometimes, cringe everytime). If you're such an expert, then why are you asking us? I don't know how ugly you are. I don't know what you consider ugly. There are plenty of guys out there with women who are out of their league. They usually rely on other attributes. Money, for instance. Power, skills, importance, etc. Maybe that works…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 06:54 PM
50

So, i think you need to ask men in similar situations as you what worked for them. Not just fisherman, but fisherman fishing the same waters working with the same equipment.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 06:14 PM
1

I really don't mean to be condescending. I genuinely just wanted to diffuse the situation because i could sense a little hostility from you. I have no skin in the game. I've been married 10 years to a beautiful wife with two beautiful kids. I just like taking about relationship dynamics and find pill theory fascinating. I don't know anything about your weight. How would i know? I guess maybe it's in your profile? I never clicked on it. I just coach fitness and have helped a lot of people And yea…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 12:00 AM
0

I get the sense you've had a hard time of it. If so, I'm sorry to hear. I've spent a lot of time in fitness, and I've seen some absolutely amazing transformations from people who never thought they could. Sometimes, it takes a lot of sacrifice. My wife lost 70 pounds by going vegan. Her mom lost more. It's hard but not impossible. And as far as all things sex and relationships go, i just think women - when all other things are equal - have more options than men. Maybe they aren't quality options…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 11:16 PM
1

The post is about dating, so I am referring to dating, sex, and other things of that nature generally. Not just getting laid. It really is that easy to get in shape. Only a handful of countries have a big problem with it. Spend enough time in other countries, and you realize that obesity is not a problem in most places. yes, there are medical concerns for some people. But by and large, people would be fine if they just got in around 3 miles of running and walking every day, and counted calories
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 08:45 PM
2

I believe you. But people on this sub don't have the experience to even recognize what is possible. As a swinger, I've seen how inept the majority of men can be, and I don't need to hear it from a woman's lips whether or not I'm the best she's ever had. I can tell from the looks of jealousy on her husband's face. And, yeah, I think most women are pretty truthful when they say something like "I don't squirt." And then you can tell from the look on their faces when you prove them wrong. But, it is…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 05:56 PM
2

You definitely make a good point that men have a much better potential to compensate for physical unattractiveness by being better in other things (tall, rich, important, athletic, talented, etc). I think that a man who has none of these things and is still ugly will do far worse than a woman who has none of these things and is equivalently ugly. Also, a man will often be judged for his worst quality, so he must maintain respectable levels or higher in all attributes (looks, personality, finance…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 05:42 PM
1

I have a daughter that i have concerns about. How do you teach masking? Are there resources?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 02:38 PM
5

Gotta have both. And more. That's life
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 02:36 PM
1

Yeah, I only wrote what I wrote because I think it's important to recognize that too much detachment can also be harmful. Figuring out exactly when to start going all-in is obviously difficult, pretty nuanced, and dependent on the specific situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 04:11 PM
1

I've agreed with a lot of what you've written. One minor difference I think we might have is that I find pre-dating detachment to be more important than detachment in dating. I guess it might depend on where you think pre-dating ends and dating begins. For me, it was always around the 1-month mark of starting a physical relationship If we got to that point, then I liked to date with intensity. I found women responded well when it seemed like I was all in. That said, i also could go from all-in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 03:48 PM
2

I'm a man, and I have to say that I disagree with both points you are trying to make. Women have a more narrow focus on what they like. I would be just as happy to fuck a hot goth girl as I am to fuck a hot country club golfer woman. If she's hot, i'd fuck her whether she's 25 or 50. I doubt most women would say the same. So, if she's not at least somewhat interested in what I have to offer, I'm almost certainly wasting my time trying to convince her otherwise. So, I'd say "creating interest" us…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 03:36 PM
2

Good point! It would definitely be easier if men realized that they are - generally speaking - attracted to more women compared to how many men the average woman is attracted to. I experienced so much more success when I started being able to read when a woman had an initial attraction to me. In that way, I didn't waste time flirting with the ones who didn't
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 03:27 PM
1

I don't see why staying detached at the beginning should be any different for women or men. Everyone should be detached at the beginning so they can be on high alert for red flags and so they can cut and run quickly. Just because you can get a lot of dates (as a woman) doesn't mean any individual you start dating won't turn out to be a monster
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 03:24 PM
12

It's absolutely not very different from many things in our capitalist system. Think about employee hiring or professional sports. It's almost identical. There are people with high value at the top that are being courted, and then there are replacement level people in the middle who can fill a role, and perhaps fill it well enough to allow them access to resources to improve until they make themself hard to replace. And then there are people at the bottom who do not have the qualifications to eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 03:22 PM
1

IMO, OP clarified this pretty well in his post: Caring less doesn’t mean you’re cold or disrespectful. It just means you stay detached enough to make better decisions. You’re not desperate. You’re not begging for attention. You’re not trying to convince someone to give you a chance. You’re moving through the process efficiently, filtering for who’s genuinely interested and who’s wasting your time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 03:17 PM
0

I think this is such a good and interesting question. As a man, I know I would have an easier time getting along with certain men than any woman. Unfortunately, I’m not sexually attracted to them. But that doesn’t mean that women should also have an easier time getting along with men. In all likelihood, women probably understand other women better and would get along with women better. All I know is that I often feel like my closest guy friends and I are all living mirror lives, doing similar th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 01:21 PM
–

Three things: The 20% statistic is a different issue than "Women say they go for these good men yet I keep seeing them going for assholes all the time." The "women date assholes" argument is incredibly stupid. Why wouldn't women want the top 20% of males? How is this different than anything else in American society? We aren't mad when sports teams all vie for the top draft picks. No one is forcing them to give a mediocre quarterback playing time out of some sense of fairness. No one is saying a …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 04:37 PM
–

What exactly are you arguing or advocating for? I'm a man, and even I'm not sure. Are you suggesting we somehow force equality into the situation? Attractiveness is a bell curve. It's not linear. The large majority of people are centered over the middle, and, statistically, half are below average. BUT, many of the ones at the top are already in relationships, so they aren't on the apps, aren't out looking, and are taken out of the equation. SO, the majority of the remainder are going to be below…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 04:23 PM
–

This is the stupidest argument because the underlying premise is that women are a hivemind and/or all act the same way. Take dating out of the scenario. Your argument is no different than saying: "people say they will never do drugs, but i see people doing drugs all the time." The actions of drug users obviously don't reflect on everybody. There are good women and there are shitty women. Just like there are good men and there are shitty men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 05:13 AM
1

I find it so weird that people on Reddit assume there's only one way to be
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 01:33 AM
1

I mean, considering we swing and go to sex clubs, i'm going to go with not frigid and repressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 02:43 PM
1

We talked about that, too. She has masturbated before... But to the extent she doesn't now, i imagine it's more because she doesn't need to since we have sex as often as 5x a week. I don't travel for work or anything, so she can pretty much have sex with me within a few hours, any day she wants. I'm always ready to go.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 01:01 AM
3

Which is ultimately why I believe compatibility, more than trying to qualify traits objectively, is the most important thing in relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 06:12 PM
10

So, I think this reflects the fact that men and women often have very different goals in life, and they project their own goals onto others. Many people assume most people around them have similar goals and priorities. Speaking for myself as a man - having those things you mentioned like careers, wealth, etc are nice, but they are not (and never were) my end goal. I achieved a lot of what I achieved in life simply because it improved my value which helped me have more access to better sex with m…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 04:41 PM
1

Yeah, I hear ya. For me, I just think about the fact that it was a bait and switch on my ex's part. Like, when we met, she was a lot of big talk about her ambitions and what she wanted to do with her degree and make a difference. But it was all talk. And then she expected me to still have the same feelings despite knowing that her ambitions were one of the things I really respected about her to begin with. We weren't even engaged, let alone married. Why would she expct me to stay when she fundam…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 01:49 AM
1

I don't personally see a big difference between the two. They exist on a progression for me. Until you get married anyway, you should still be dating the person and looking for red flags. It might be committed and exclusive, but not like you ever stop looking for red flags
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 07:19 PM
1

Most of the time, you can’t tell if someone is not worth dating until you actually date them. Obviously, there will be people who are less attractive than your standards. I’m not talking about that. But even amongst the people who are attractive enough, you can’t really tell him until you start dating them
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:53 PM
2

100% her feelings were reasonable based on the information she had. She didn't know what was in my head. But also, she was in college when we met. Her dropping out of school was a big part, and, despite my efforts, i couldn't convince her it was important to finish and get her degree. Maybe we'd have stayed together if she got her degree and got a good job. Who knows? It was the fact that she changed from being someone who was going to get a master's degree to being someone who was okay dropping…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 01:10 AM
–

Yeah, I get that. It's one of the things I really agree with as a purple pill. But (to the extent the pills are well-defined) it's not like blue pill says self-improvement is bad or useless. If anything, it promotes self-improvement in other ways, and more importantly, for different motivations.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 09:15 PM
1

Fair. I guess, when I think about it, it doesn't even need to be a conversation. My emphasis is on self-reflection and acting with intention. I guess this is influenced by the fact that I've been with girls who wanted more from me than I wanted from them, and I've avoided that conversation. Whoops.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 09:08 PM
1

I don't know if that is necessary. I personally have no problems with people having casual sex, or even catching feelings, too quickly. Just self-reflect and recognize things for what they are. Basically, I think you have to date purposefully and act with intention (in all things in life, not just dating). If you are with someone because the sex is great, you're young, you're having fun, and you recognize that rationallly - then you're good, because you have a specific objective and have accompl…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:56 PM
–

I literally ooze confidence. My wife often needs to be reminded that it's okay to be assertive, to be proud, and to not apologize all the time. I've got two young daughters now (5&6) and I'm constantly trying to instill in them the value of confidence. A lot of it isn't even societal, it's just innate. One of them takes after me. She's naturally effusive and everyone loves her. The other is so worried about trying and failing, and I can see it holding her back. Being a parent is tough.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:44 PM
–

I have to disagree vehemently though. I never find myself thinking, I wish I married someone who was better or cooking or cleaning. But I do find myself thinking that I am so grateful to have a wife I am wildly attracted to with a healthy libido - especially after having two kids
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:41 PM
1

The only thing I'll add is that "choose better" can also mean or imply: "take more time choosing." I say this, because sometimes women rush into things and aren't discerning at all (or enough). It's not even about prioritizing. It's just ignoring or not taking the time to notice and filter for red flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:35 PM
–

I agree with that, too. That's why I'm in this sub. That's why I'm a purple pill. And I think the building IS on fire. But you can do both: you can point out that (1) many people are actually in a situation they can get themself out of with hardwork, but also (2) there are societal structures in place creating unrealistic standards and making this all harder on people than it should be (or than it used to be). Hard work does not magically fix everything. But some people refuse to see the solutio…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:05 PM
–

Doctors cannot guarantee treatment will be effective. Lawyers cannot guarantee results. Personal trainers can't guarantee you'll lose weight. Barbers can't guarantee a good haircut. Stylists can't guarantee you'll look good. Photographers can't guarantee there will be a single useable photo. They still likely know more than you do. I admit, dating coaches are a bit more suspect in that there is less credentialing involved, but you should always be vetting anyway. With that in mind, I'm personall…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 07:15 PM
–

Have you ever gotten a dating coach? Personal trainer? Stylist? Professional photographer for your dating profiles? I'm seriously asking, and not asking to be a dick. Some people don't know how to go about improving themselves. Some people will never figure it out on their own. But that's okay! If you have a medical question, you'd see a doctor; a legal question, you'd see a lawyer. Dating is not much different.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 06:34 PM
1

I have no idea. Who knows. I would be entirely speculating.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 06:01 PM
1

She found Jesus. There was always that undercurrent in her during our relationship, but I was very much a hedonist atheist and did many church-inappropriate things that she seemed to have fun going along with. In any case, she eventually did meet a new guy and stopped reaching out to me after a year. Funny thing is, this new guy looked a lot like me but not in as good shape. I'm Asian, btw, and she was white. I was her first Asian boyfriend. Then, this new guy she eventually married was also Asi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:58 PM
1

Here's the kicker. Even when I DID tell one girl the truth, she kept trying to claw, charm, and weasel her way back into my life because - speaking honestly and not trying to boast - I was about as good as I think she could ever imagine herself ending up with. I hadn't thought about this in a while (I've been with my wife for 13 years now), but your comments and your initial post reminded me. I think this is exactly what you're talking about. So, this girl, my ex, was attractive, and that's why …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:47 PM
–

I feel like THAT (your first three paragraphs) also should go without saying. I mean, MOST people date in college, grad school, etc - that means they are pursuing a way to better themselves, while also pursuing romantic interests. I think people too deep into redpill get lost in the fact that moderation is important and these things are not mutually exclusive. Like you said, you can pursue people WHILE still self-improving. "This isn't even my final form" and all that. This is why I'm a purple p…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:29 PM
–

It is. It should go without saying... but somehow people need to be reminded of this all the time
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:21 PM
1

Agreed. Speaking as a guy who never had a hard time attracting women, i finally settled down with the most attractive one that I reasonably thought I could land who was also financially stable and had intellectual and personality traits I wanted. I slept with and even dated many girls that didn't meet all my standards, but I never told them that I knew pretty early on that it would never work in the long-run
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:19 PM
–

This is 100% accurate and really well-written.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:16 PM
–

We'd probably all benefit from a little less whining and a little more hard work. This isn't revolutionary, nor is it red pill or purple pill or blue pill. Anyone who doesn't think looks, grooming, style, and status matter is an idiot.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 03:41 PM
17

When i'm having sex with my wife, I like to say, "I'm going to fuck your brains out." In this way, i am also letting her know that I recognize her intelligence.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 06:12 PM
–

To be clear, i have 100% broken up with women who were bad at sex. I wasn't mean about it or anything. It's just important to me and the bad experience left a bad taste in my mouth. And one of the reasons i married my wife because she was mind-blowingly good in bed. Life is too short to be with someone who is bad at sex. I think women should also break up with men who are bad at sex. But I also get the sense I'm an outlier, even for the simple reason that I've never really had a hard time dating…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 11:28 PM
–

Your point makes sense. Many men are insecure and don't want to know a woman's past partners were better than he is
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 11:10 PM
1

I think this post is 100% correct. I am not the most attractive guy. Objectively speaking, at 5'6" and Asian, I am not every woman's cup of tea. But I also asked out a girl for the first time at 11. I kissed a girl for the first time at 13. Fingered a girl that same year. Got a hand job at 14. First blowjob at 16. Sex at 17. This is not about bragging. This is about agreement with OP, and also one important tip. If a girl was interested in me, I often didn't say no, even if I wasn't the most att…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 07:36 PM
-4

Is this how you feel about birthdays, too? Who the fuck cares if this one day is unequal. Do the thing. Make her happy. She'll appreciate you for longer than just the one day involved. I don't think I've ever been alone for Valentine's day size i was 15. I've always gotten the flowers and all that. In fact, Valentine's day is an advantage for men, because it puts so much pressure on women to have someone, that they'll often say yes to going out with you on Valentine's day when they wouldn't the …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:18 PM
–

I think the truth is somewhere in the middle of the two extremes you presented. I truly believe that most men (probably around 70%) are in the middle where effort really matters, and the only reason they are succeeding (or not succeeding) is because of the amount of effort they put in. I say this as someone who has had a lot of success, but also firmly believes in the grind. Gym every morning. Make money. Dress well. Practice and reflect on how to talk to women. Put myself in situations to maxim…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:05 PM
2

Yeah. Agreed. But somehow these posts on Reddit make it feel like everyone is out there asking everyone else's bodycount before having sex. Just the internet doing it's thing again, i guess
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 01:44 AM
3

I agree. I have some kinks of my own, and I'm so happy to be able to share them with a loving, accepting, and enthusiastic partner. Cheers, friend!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:59 PM
0

I'm actually quite sure I'm smarter than you. I know this because you've already reacted with ad hominems in an intellectual debate. But I'll keep playing. It's actually quite easy to reconcile the additional lines from that study that you reported and why I chose to use a shorter quote from the article. Here is the full quote: "Although only 35% of women versus 62% of men in this study reported physical satisfaction at first intercourse, 56% of men and 54% of women reported psychological satisf…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:54 PM
1

Oh for sure. I also did a clerkship - but for me it was more of a prestige thing. I clerked appellate, but I am a trial lawyer. Clerkship didn't teach me anything. It was just super-advanced legal research and writing. I was lucky to have great bosses who mentored me as I worked for them early on. There's a definite learning curve.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:07 PM
3

I've had fun in the lifestyle, but it's more of a vacation destination for us. We dip our toes in once or twice a year. We don't live there year-round
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:04 PM
1

I understand your response here, but i am addressing what you wrote first: Losing your virginity will always feel like the wrong person once you meet your life partner. The stats don't lie. Most people regret who their first sexual encounter was with once they learn more about life, sex and love. I am disputing the fact that most people regret their first encounter or that they "will always feel like the wrong person once you meet your life partner." Per your request, I googled the studies. " 76…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:02 PM
7

Because offering and hearing counter-point-of-views is an important part of online forums. If we can't have discussions, then what's the value of a place like reddit
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:46 PM
3

This is me. I call it my bubble. And I'm honestly not fond of leaving it. For reference, the average home value in my town is $750,000 according to Zillow
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:41 PM
2

Speaking as a lawyer - getting your JD isn't very different than getting a master's. For people who have a PHD, the master's portion of their education often took as long as my JD took (3 years). So, with undergrad, you can start practicing as a lawyer in 7 years (less if you can graduate undergrad early). Med school is 4, but residency adds to that. JD doesn't require residency. MBA can also be earned pretty quickly. I know what JD stands for, but I don't consider it a doctorate. People in acad…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:41 PM
6

As a 38-year-old man making $300k, who is attractive enough to get hit on regularly, married, two kids, and loves my wife - I'd 100% (1000%) agree that your assessment applies to me and pretty much all my friends from law school or similar walks of life. But I'm also a liberal (liberal-leaning-libertarian) and with very pro-kink lifestyle, so I think my experience will be very different from a conservative man with equal income and SMV. I'm the first to admit - I don't want a woman with no past.…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:36 PM
0

Based on a google search, it's a very small percentage of men who have never had sex. Age 25–29 4.4% of men in this age group are virgins, according to the CDC Age 30–34 3.3% of men in this age group are virgins, according to the CDC Age 35–39 1.6% of men in this age group are virgins, according to the CDC
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:16 PM
8

I agree with you. Especially about the fact that there is a difference between "wrong person" and not necessarily the right person. I'm glad you waited for something that worked for you, because "wrong" will definitely be different from person to person
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:56 PM
3

I think it's important to distinguish between "wrong person" and "not the perfect person." I have no regrets about losing my virginity to my high school girlfriend. We didn't stay together, but so what. I had a lot of great sex and learned a little bit about how to have good sex from it. The next girl i dated, I was 19 and she was 17 (legal in NJ), and I was her first, she was my second. Not like I married her either, but that was some of the best sex of my life. And we were together for nearly …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:54 PM
3

I can't speak for all men, but as a guy who's been with nearly 40 women, i'd much rather sleep with someone experienced and practiced. The sex is better. If I met a woman who was a 30 year old virgin, I'd be uncomfortable taking her virginity, and I'd be worried there was something very wrong with her
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:47 PM
9

Correct. A man who sucks at sex doesn't get a second chance
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:45 PM
5

I've slept with a good number of women. Nearly 40. Other than in high school, I don't think ANY woman has ever asked or known how many women I've slept with at the time I first slept with her. I've ONLY ever had a conversation about how many women i've slept with AFTER already being in a long-term relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:44 PM
3

Don't have sex with the "WRONG" person, but don't wait for the perfect person either. Sex can be "just for fun." And, also, for practice. As a man, the only way to get good at sex is to have more sex (with intention and reflection). Figure out how different women respond to different things (and what things are more or less universal. And having regular sex helps you last longer. If you don't have stamina, you're not making most women happy in the bedroom. As a man who has been with a lot of wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:40 PM
1

Here's a good summary i pulled from ChatGPT that I msotly agree with: The Purple Pill is a middle ground between Red Pill and Blue Pill ideologies. It incorporates some of the Red Pill’s skepticism about modern relationships but rejects its more extreme or nihilistic views. Here are ten core Purple Pill beliefs: Men Should Improve Themselves, But Not Just for Women – Unlike Red Pill, which focuses on self-improvement to attract women, Purple Pill promotes self-improvement for personal fulfillmen…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:44 PM
0

Like with most things. Blue Pill doesn't get it all right. Neither does red pill. Which is why purple pill makes the most sense
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 08:35 PM
5

Just being objective: TwoX represents a small subsection of women. It certainly doesn't represent all women. At the same time, women who watch porn also makes up a subsection of women that does not represent all women. So, you can't know how all women behave based on either of these populations. I have had the same experience as you, btw. Most women I've slept with enjoyed at least light bdsm and degrading sex. But I also know that my experiences are somewhat self-selecting. The women that have …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 07:18 PM
–

Absolutely not a "women" thing. This goes for a lot of things and applies to a lot of people, men and women. Think about how many people who say they are "going to lose the weight" or "going to get fit" and then barely make a change in their life before giving up on their goals. Dating aspirations and fantasies are no different. The only big difference, IMO, is that men are more likely to settle for less than their standards than women. Usually because they would rather have sex with someone tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 08:13 PM
1

I'll respond anecdotally. I (38M) am a guy who gets a decent amount of attention from women. I am also in a job that requires me to socialize and network regularly (lawyer). I've been to about 6 Holiday Parties so far in December, and I've been hit on a good bit. I also had a waitress write a note to me on a receipt, calling me "sexy" - which I'm happy to post for anyone who wants to see the LITERAL receipts (lol). Anyway, in addition to the waitress, whom I know nothing about, other than she wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 09:36 PM
2

I think we are using different measures or definitions here. I'm not talking looks. I'm talking overall value. I'm including fame and riches in the way i define value of a person and their ability to have ease in dating. OP doesn't really differentiate. Sure, Leo worked for it, but some men are just born into trust funds. Doesn't really matter to me. My point is that a rich heiress will never have the power to choose who she dates or marries the same way that an equally rich heir does. No big de…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 09:23 PM
1

I have thought about this a bunch, and I think i put SUPER HIGH value men at the top because the absolute ceiling for men is higher than for women. I'm talking your Leonardo DiCaprios and above. As a woman, your value really caps out with being a super model, and your super high value men can sleep with multiple super models at the same time, while married to another. So it's more like this. Top .1% of men Top 1% of women. Top 2% of men. Top 1-10% of women. Top 2-10% of men Top 10-20% of women. …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 07:31 PM
1

I have thought about this a bunch, and I think i put SUPER HIGH value men at the top because the absolute ceiling for men is higher than for women. I'm talking your Leonardo DiCaprios and above. As a woman, your value really caps out with being a super model, and your super high value men can sleep with multiple super models at the same time, while married to another. So it's more like this. Top .1% of men Top 1% of women. Top 2% of men. Top 1-10% of women. Top 2-10% of men Top 10-20% of women. …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 07:30 PM
6

IMO, the order of power in dating looks like this High value men have the most power High value women are next Average and below average women Average and below average men A small percentage of men are at the top, but then its women in the middle, then the rest of men at the bottom
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 03:28 PM
1

This is absolutely a real thing. And if you are single, you have to figure out how to channel that same energy
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 04:40 PM
1

metaphorically or literally?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 08:06 PM
6

38, married, two kids. Not a red pill. Just elitist. Some of the red pill stuff is about utility: what generally works for attracting members of the opposite sex/ what people are generally interested in; what helps you get ahead. When red pill is used as a general guide or presents a general rule, it can be true. When it pretends to be a universal truth that applies to all men or all women, it's generally wrong
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 04:05 AM
–

Agreed with your assessment. If I were you, I would feel like dating an average guy would be beneath me or settling. And, if I were a single guy, why would I date an average woman when there are women like you out there. And if I were average, I'd rather improve myself so I could be above average and date people above average, rather than settle in either department.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 03:57 PM
1

The average 25-year-old in America does not have an Associate's Degree or Bachelor's degree (some college or less is the highest level of education for the average American).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 07:41 PM
1

For me, it's about standards. It's not a question of if they are average, it's about what average looks like in this society. Namely: Not in great shape Doesn't exercise Not well-educated Not financially secure Not socially interesting If the average value suddenly increased, and the average suddenly met my standards, I wouldn't restrict myself to the top 20%.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 07:34 PM
1

Doing what "like everyday": being average? My real point is that MOST average people are unhappy with being with an average person, but your mileage may vary. Separately, it doesn't take that much effort for most average people to move up. Most average people are just lazy
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 04:36 AM
1

100%. But that also helps explain why dating is often easier in certain cities compared to others, or in certain circles and class bubbles. I live in a very affluent area; it's definitely a bubble. Looks like very few people are having trouble dating around me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 04:42 PM
1

I think men would be happy to have sex with the average woman. I don't think they would want to marry them
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 09:31 PM
4

See other response
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 07:33 PM
1

i've done both. I've found it easier and more effective to just start a relationship with sexual attraction, and then see if there are commonalities from there. Very rarely am I platonic friends with a woman I am attracted to. If I'm attracted to her (and I'm single), I'm probably making a move. But I am often interested in learning more about a woman I am sexually involved with. Of course, if I am not single, becoming friends with an attractive woman is a viable way to put her on freeze for lat…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 06:14 PM
3

To a degree
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 06:12 PM
11

It is if you do it at the level I do. We travel to distilleries to meet with owners and master blenders to buy whole barrels at a time, we host tastings with distillery representatives, we collect rare bottles and vintages, and we host tastings to compare notes.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 06:10 PM
2

Nah. When I say population, I mean population. Obviously, if only one gender changes and the other does not, that would be very different. But I don't see that as the case. The problems I see now affect men and women. People are getting increasingly less desirable of both genders. Those who try to improve see benefits relative to their peers. I see this all the time because I am heavily into fitness. Regardless of gender, people who lose a ton of weight suddenly have better dating prospects. It'…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 06:08 PM
0

I strongly disagree. I've made a few posts about this, and my general sense is that people (men and women) have an arbitrary minimum standard for what they want (absolute value) that is influenced largely by the media and other sources. Few people have the ability to accurately gauge whether someone is in the upper 20% for their gender (relative value). So, when obseity rate increases, less people will meet the minimum standard of beauty. And if 50% of the population suddenly becomes good-lookin…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 05:42 PM
15

At the end of the day, I think you need to be flexible, but must rigidly look for someone that is compatible with your life. SOOOO, if you're passionate about rock-climbing, and you spend 8 months out of the year living our of your van so you can rock climb (Free Solo and the Alpinist are great movies and you should watch them), then you probably need to be rigid about dating someone who is passionate about climbing or at least being outdoors and doesn't mind living out of a van. On the other ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 05:22 PM
1

I googled Average American BMI. The data is from this article from the USDA. I'm sure there are multiple sets of data out there accounting for different things or drawing from different samples https://www.ers.usda.gov/amber-waves/2023/november/researchers-adjust-self-reported-estimates-of-obesity-in-scanner-data/#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20NHANES%2C%20average,scanner%20data%20average%20of%2028.86.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 01:02 PM
1

I included 4 increasing levels of relationships. 1. Friendship 2. Sex 3. Dating 4. Marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 01:00 PM
1

I agree with your statements, but these are the things that could be statistically quantified. I meant average to include character, too. Personally, all of these things would be deal breakers for me except opening a home, since I'd probably want to buy one with my partner (which is what my wife and i did after getting married)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 01:49 AM
3

Probably in that order
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 01:47 AM
2

Yeah, agreed. I've vacationed in Germany and Scandinavia and... Agreed
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 01:46 AM
1

Yeah, i was just listing things i find important. I need both a college education and an adventurous palate
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 01:43 AM
1

In what way am I framing it like that at all? I'm not trying to make that argument at all For the record: I don't think platonic friendship is fulfilling at all. I think the goal should be a romantic, sexual, relationship, where your significant other is a best friend you love and just after and enjoy your platonic time with - all rolled into one.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 01:40 AM
2

And i personally believe most average or below average people can turn their lives around with dedicated effort
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 01:37 AM
1

It is. I can only speak for myself
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 08:55 PM
1

I don't think I would be attracted to an average looking person. i don't think I could ever marry someone of average intelligence and education.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 08:55 PM
1

Speaking for myself, I could not date a person who was average looking or who was of average intelligence. Culturally? I would not be attracted to the average American with regard to worldliness, eating habits, or hobbies and interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 08:53 PM
1

So think about real life then. I could never marry someone average (assuming I wasn't already married)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 08:51 PM
4

Good for you! I mean that genuinely. Your comment has a sincere and positive energy
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 08:49 PM
2

I dunno. But I guess I made this post not to look for a solution, but to think of a reason why dating is so bleak right now. I don't think most people would want to date the average person of the gender they are attracted to (although men would still have sex with the average woman). The ramifications of this are important.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:50 PM
3

Thanks for the explanation. So would it be better to say that 40% of adults are unemployed? Possibly by choice? Or maybe just, only 60% of working age adults are employed?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:46 PM
1

I think most people are happy to be friends with a wide variety of people. But romantically: do you think most people would be happy to date the average in their circle of friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:44 PM
2

For me, I could not imagine being attracted to someone who is obese or who does not work out, so that particular statistic speaks to my own sense of physical attraction. And, as far as a life partner goes, I don't think I could have ever married someone who didn't read regularly, who didn't have a college degree, who didn't have hobbies, who was a picky eater, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:43 PM
7

This is essentially my point. If most people in current society wouldn't consider being partnered with the average person, even when they are, themselves, average, that has some pretty important ramifications.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:39 PM
1

https://tradingeconomics.com/united-states/employment-rate Just google. The emplyment rate is ~60%. But I'm happy to hear you out on what the correct number should be
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:36 PM
0

What statistics would you be interested in? Those are ones I find personally relevant
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:34 PM
2

I'm happily married so i end up just thinking about this stuff more academically. That's how I'm approaching this particular discussion, inspired by the alleged trends around loneliness and problems with modern dating, etc. unfortunately, we (in America) also live in a society where we are conditioned to care a lot about what everyone else thinks. Thank the internet and social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:33 PM
2

I have to wonder if even average people want other average people.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:23 PM
2

I just did a quick google search. https://www.sofi.com/learn/content/average-salary-in-us/#:\~:text=The%20average%20salary%20in%20the,from%20the%20Social%20Security%20Administration. I'm no expert on the topic, and I have no stake in the number I used
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:22 PM
1

I still think it's stupid. Your 20% is different from my 20%, which is different from the 20% of everyone else in this forum. Completely agree. But I think it's still relevant in a conversation about general experiences or general trends. There are certain qualities that objectively have more universal appeal (height, fitness level/ body fat percentage, wealth, etc). You individual tastes may not be mainstream, but most people's tastes will be. That's what makes them mainstream
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:21 PM
-1

I hear a lot of complaints about how only the top 20% of men get all the interest from women and, at a larger percent, only the top percentage of women. But, after thinking about it, why should we be surprised? I don't think most men or women actually care about an arbitrary "top 20%." Instead, it's just that approximately 20% of people meet the minimum standards for consideration. I made a previous post about this (https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1gewsro/is_value_for_dating_an…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 07:16 PM
5

Disagree. Women are not a monolith. Yes, some women will use you. Some will genuinely appreciate that you pay for things. Some don't care at all, and just want you if you are attractive. As a man who has been pretty fortunate with both decent looks and finances, I've met women who are attracted to me and will sleep with me immediately (met at the bar, go home the same night) as well as women who won't sleep with me until the third date. Many of them dated me for a long time, several wanted to ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 06:27 PM
1

See, i find the opposite. I'm super easy going and generally love all women. Sure, I've hooked up with some women that other men will think is beneath their standard. But that same positive attitude has gotten me with beautiful women, too. And I'm still in control of who i dated or married. I stopped rolling the dice when i was satisfied. Life is more fun when you just generally like everyone. And the women who are the most amazing in bed are often the ones you'd least expect
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:13 AM
4

In my opinion, that's a little extreme and overly guarded. If i offer to buy you a drink, feel free to pick a mocktail. It's just a nice gesture and socially acceptable ice breaker. But I'm also a hedonist and generous with my money, so take what i say with a grain of salt. I've literally bought the whole bar a round before. I think the whole world is more fun when we're all a little impaired.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:07 AM
1

Some people do, sure. Trade in for a new, younger, hotter woman every decade or so. Monogamy gets stale
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 11:50 PM
2

Agreed. Great, concise response, too
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 08:13 PM
5

Yes. Agreed. Great, concise way to put it, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 08:12 PM
0

Yes, but I think men don't start to have an advantage with regard to relationships until a bit later. Maybe late 20s is when they start to rise because that's when they can realistically differentiate themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 08:12 PM
5

I'm a lawyer. I think 80% of the lawyers I know in their 40s+ are on their second wife at least. The partner at my firm who hired me is 75ish, and on his 3rd wife to a 50ish year old bombshell. His wife before that was a hot secretary at the firm when he met her.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 08:10 PM
1

Just being real. She's always had me beat by around 1 point in the attractiveness scale. Funny story: we were at a bar one time and some woman walked in and sat nearby. My wife asked how I would rate her out of 10. Me, being a bit drunk, literally said outloud: "Well, you're like an 8 or 9, so she's probably a 7." My wife was like, "what the fuck? I thought I was a 10!" Oops.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:40 PM
-3

I was never able to pull 10s, so being 35 and not being able to pull a 10 (my definition of 10s being the kind of women who can make a living off of nothing but their looks, and are probably doing so as models, etc). That said, my wife was probably a 8.5/9 when I met her and is still probably an 7.5/8, and I'm confident I could be with another 8 - judging by the women who hit on me regularly
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:33 PM
–

I agree except I don't want to generalize and say women are delusional about the above. I think a great many women, including my wife, recognize that finding a quality partner is not easy for them; that while they have many prospects, most are low value and not even worth considering. Women have the ability to open up or close the floodgates and let every man come rushing in. Men actually get to steer the boat.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:26 PM
2

I mean, if both of you are 9s/10s with a trust fund or on track to be very successful, then the differences are moot or negligible. I'm not really talking about that. I think the difference is how you define better. So, yes, different advantages and disadvantages.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:19 PM
1

yeah, I was trying to refine my belief that, if my wife and I both had to start over with dating at this point in our lives, I think I would actually have an easier time finding someone I'd be happy with than she would. Obviously, she'd have more prospects, but most would be low value prospects.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:14 PM
6

I was also partying at frats and had a great time in college. That doesn't change the fact that an equally hot woman would have an easier time having sex than an equally hot guy And it doesn't really address the specific premise of my post
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:11 PM
2

I think that's correlation, not causation, based on how divorced men who are successful in their 30s and 40s can more easily remarry attractive younger women than those women can marry quality men. I also have a a handful of equally successful but single male friends, who anecdotally demonstrate how easy it is to date in your late 30s with a 6-figure salary, your own house, decent looks, and a fun personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:56 PM
2

Yeah, that's the whole point. Attention is the advantage women have. Not that I don't get attention, but my wife went out on a girls' night and four different guys got in an argument about who got to buy her a drink. Odds are, I will get attention from one woman in a given night if I go out, but I'm not getting attention from half a dozen. I'm lucky my wife doesn't really get seduced by all the attention she receives, and she usually deflects by trying to set them up with her single sister who, …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:44 PM
0

I feel the same way. I'm not oblivious to when I am getting checked out or hit on, and I know, right now, at least one person who would date me if I were single and who meets my standards
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:43 PM
1

Correct. I feel the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:41 PM
4

I agree this is also a difference, not explicitly addressed in my post. Women and men peak at different times with regard to attraction and perceived relationship value
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:40 PM
0

I prefer relationships, but I still enjoy hook-ups. And hook-up culture is great in that I'd rather fuck someone than no one, and a good hook-up can easily become a LTR. And if the hook-up is bad, then move on. I'm married now, and the sex with my wife is mind-blowing... but we still ocassionally swing, and sex with strangers can be equally mind-blowing. So, i'd say I know how to enjoy the best of both worlds
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 09:02 PM
1

Go to a sex club or sex party. If you're worthy of the validation, and you've got the right moves, women will let you know
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 04:20 PM
1

I disagree. I LIVE for sex. Especially before fatherhood, it was the only thing I cared about... But it doesn't cause me to trick myself about the woman or women I'm having sex with. I know what my value is and I'm well aware of how much effort, relative to my value, I need to put out to have sex with any given woman (if she's not out of my league or off-limits). And if the expenditure is too great, I'm just going to look elsewhere. There are so many fish in the sea. A girl who thinks she's wort…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 04:02 PM
–

I think it's a combination. I think value is relative to some idealized version of the opposite sex as programmed by the media and society... but we as individuals have no real way to gauge what percentage of the population that applies to. So, I think value is still disconnected from the average or relative value of the actual population
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 03:57 PM
1

This is what i suspected. And i think most people feel that way but haven't thought about it like this before
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 01:55 AM
1

Ha, sure. feel free to reach out
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 06:35 PM
2

Ha, yeah, not the best (clearest) chart. I didn't make it. Just found it on the internet. Here's what it shows: Top left and bottom left are both someone with 20% body fat at 16 BMI. It's just there for comparison. Top right is someone with 28% body fat and 28 BMI Bottom right is someone with 20% body fat and 28 BMI. The real point is to show how 28 BMI can look different with 28% body fat (top right) versus 20% body fat (bottom right). So, essentially, top right and bottom right weigh the same,…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:59 PM
1

There's more to fat than BMI. For me, it's about bodyfat percentage. Look at the image I attached That said, since it sounds like you're not an athlete, i'm going to guess that your weight is not "all muscle" like some people with a high BMI who are actually really fit and look great. In that case, another big factor is where you hold your weight (boobs, butt, etc). Keep working out. Even if you aren't losing weight, you might be gaining muscle and losing fat. Good luck! <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:36 PM
0

Please. Stop paying attention to these men. They are not worth listening to. There are so many other voices out there worthy of your time. The best thing they've done is quickly shown you their red flag
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 06:38 PM
6

As a man, I can tell you it's more than that. I literally want to be viewed as so desirable, a woman would want me for nothing more than just my physical attractiveness. The "I'm a good guy" stuff makes me a good long-term partner, and I recognize that. But I think of my role as a "sexual partner" for my wife to be different from my role as a "good husband and father." The best guys are both in one body. But I don't want to be her sexual partner just because she thinks I'm a good husband and fat…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 07:14 PM
0

Of course. What I don't understand is why people complain about it: do these same guys also complain why weak and slow guys don't make the varsity football team? Life isn't fair. Figure out how to compete or play a different game (go for different women)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 06:48 PM
1

No. When i say good, i mean high value. Not just attractive, but attractive plus makes money plus is socially fun plus isn't an asshole. I'm talking more than just attractive. Once you're in the "attractive enough" category, there are still more things to look for. In my world (law, finance, business, medicine) women need to do more than just wear make-up. I wouldn't consider a woman who didn't work out regularly and lacked muscle definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 06:40 PM
26

It's cheaper in europe, in places like the redlight district. Legalization would likely bring the cost down in the US. I would only support it if it could be legalized with sufficient safeguards against violenced, STDs, and trafficking. It's not a complete substitute, but it would help the situation for many men who are beyond help There's no perfect solution, though, as with almost everything
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 06:47 PM
10

Anecdotally, I think the problem is that good women (or at least desirable women for whom their positives outweigh their negatives) outnumber good men. Also, I'm 38 and I know a lot of good men who are my peers, friends, and acquaintances. Any guy who is at least moderately attractive, with a stable career, and socially normal is married and has been with his significant other since their 20s. There are only two 35+ guys I'm friends with who fit that description who are not married - and one was…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 06:43 PM
43

I believe in a lot of redpill things, but I don't think women are delusional in their standards. I think many men are kinda pathetic. As a man, I don't want to be friends with those men. So I understand why women wouldn't want to date them. This is not different than the fact that there are many women i would never date. I just think that there are more men in society that have negative value compared to women who have negative value. When i say they have negative value, I mean a woman's life wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 05:50 PM
3

Be submissive in the bedroom compliment their masculinity
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 02:45 PM
5

The problem is thinking they ALL want anything. There's no universal thing ALL women want. I was at a small event at a private club last night. Two girls were clearly into me and checked me out more than once. Two pretended they didn't even notice i was in the room. Guess who i spent my time talking to? I've learned to not waste my time talking to women with whom it would be.... a waste of my time.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 09:10 AM
1

Yes. i had a type for sure
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 02:40 AM
4

Respect: I believe no means no, and anyone good with women can tell when a woman is not into it, and you should stop. I want a woman to enthusiastically worship me. If they're not into it, I'm moving on. I don't need to get with all women. I want women who love sex as much as me. They're more fun anyway I'm a hedonist. I'm in the swinger lifestyle. It's all about enthusiastic consent. I just don't respect monogamy
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 09:36 PM
8

100% I’m not saying all women. 100% I recognize that there are many women my approaches have not worked on. But I learned not to get hung up on it. If I was at a party and I tried something on a girl and she didn’t respond well, I moved onto the next girl. I firmly believe dating is just a numbers game.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 09:33 PM
6

Yes. To be clear, I believe in respect. I'm not even coming close to suggesting that women should be raped or forced. I've just realized that many women WANT to be swept off their feet. They like to feel not-in-control. My wife loves sex. She does not like to initiate. Why? Because it turns her on much more when I take the initiative and make her feel sexy and wanted and vulnerable. She LOVES the fact that I can pick her up and carry her around during sex. She loves to be reminded that her body …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 09:03 PM
9

I graduated high school in 2004, which is the year BEFORE "The Game" was published. There were versions of it out there and online but it wasn't widespread. We were all figuring out PUA tactics and learning things from the internet then. I was just using trial and error to figure out how to get into women's pants. But also, a lot of the manipulation tactics worked better back then, before they were common knowledge.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 08:53 PM
13

I've been lucky enough to have a good bit of opportunity with women, coupled with a really self-reflecting personality... and I agree. I'm 38. I started off pretty naive about dating, thinking girls liked poems and flowers and professions of deep undying love. I thought girls were pure and innocent and sweet, and they never cheated and wanted to be treated with respect and made love to gently. Boy was that wrong. I was lucky to be good-looking enough. So I had a lot of girls like me, but never t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 07:47 PM
3

I agree that sex robots is the logical response if you think about it. I'm not sure how many people have thought about it. I don't want to lump all incels into the same bucket as women haters though. I'm not an incel (I'm happily married), but I am a man, and I feel bad for people who just cannot figure out how to get their act together enough to present as a potential romantic partner. I know how hard it can be to want a partner or want sex. So, while I agree with your subsequent comment ("You …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 04:10 PM
3

I think sex is a legitimate social need that must be addressed, no different than treatment for mental health. Failure to acknowledge or address it in either case can be dangerous. And masturbation is simply not enough for most people. Now, the question is how can we do it and regulate it and address the stigma against it, so that it is safe, clean, fairly compensated, affordable, and free from trafficking and violence.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 04:01 PM
1

With all things, there is an overlap, and there are many feminist causes i believe in. I don't actually like labels and identity politics so I will say that I support certain feminist causes and not others, just like I support some democratic positions and some republican ones. I just have to object whenever I see broad-stroke generalizations. Some feminist measures I believe in are addressing when professions are ruled by "old boys clubs" and keep women out in practice, because deals are conduc…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 03:57 PM
5

I was also raised as an athlete. I love the grind.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:35 AM
6

Yeah, i firmly believe that's just a vocal minority of feminists. I think real people are more rational then that. But sex robots probably do scare some people, as all new technology does
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:35 AM
0

Don't mistake what you hear from vocal or radical voices with what i believe. I believe in a meritocracy, preferably as blind as possible. I support a system where you don't get to know the gender of applicants, for instance.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:33 AM
2

Not yet...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:31 AM
16

I wouldn't say it was turning my life around. I grew up in the US as a short Asian guy (5'6"). I basically looked around and saw what Western standards of beauty were and what would be required to be attractive with the cards I was dealt. I started thinking about this from a young age, and I never stopped working out, working on my style, grooming, studying, making money, getting the right job, driving the right car, figuring out the right things to say, figuring out the right balance of intensi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 07:04 PM
8

I say this with complete sincerity: I think sex robots will be the solution in the future. I think legalized prostitution - that is able to avoid sex trafficking and violence against women - could help in the short term.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 06:55 PM
-1

Equal treatment under the law regardless of gender or sexual identity, with limited exceptions for if the discrimination is substantially related to an important governmental justification. Equal treatment and opportunity in the workplace, with limited exceptions for if the discrimination is substantially necessitated because it is a bona fide occupational qualification. That kinda stuff
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 06:46 PM
13

I think about this a lot. Specifically: as a man looking around me objectively - I wouldn't date 80% of men if I was a woman either. Maybe i'm more red pill than I care to admit. Point is, a long time ago, I decided I would just work on myself until I was in the top 20% (or whatever) of men, and then I could just be happy. And I did. And I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 06:18 PM
0

I'm speaking as a man; it's not all feminists. Don't let a vocal minority poison your view of a noble cause.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 05:35 PM
12

Ha yes. Movie sex is more unrealistic than porn sex
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 05:41 PM
1

Does realistic mean possible? Does it mean does it occur in real life? If so, then yeah, it's realistic, except for the intentional angling for the camera. Sex can defiitely be like that. Not all sex will be, nor should it be. My wife can squirt. She doesn't squirt every time. She doesn't squirt in all positions. But she can squirt. She also loves rough sex. Like porn style rough sex. Again, not every time. She can deep throat. We often switch from facefucking to hard fucking and back again. She…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 05:40 PM
106

Define "nice." Because there's a difference between being generous, kind, thoughtful, or courteous; and being a pushover, submissive, subservient, timid, a yes-man, etc. “Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.” - Al Capone
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 04:08 PM
9

Grew up in the US. This tracks. Popular guys in high school, athletes, etc, mostly lost their virginity at 16-17. Most of the girls lost their virginity a year earlier (15-16) or so to an upper classmen. I was 17. My gf was 16 at the time. And of course, plenty of people didn't until college, so 18-20. An average of 18 makes sense to me
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 08:36 PM
1

Sorry. I should probably include a disclaimer in most of my posts that my comments are usually aimed at an American audience. I love going to Europe, because of how much more in shape people are on average. So many more attractive women. But, in the US, a lot of guys who are ugly are actually just fat. A lot of women, too. Fat, don't work out, don't dress well, and don't groom. Men & women. You can often get a girl here being nothng more than low-body fat with a little good grooming. I see it ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 02:43 PM
7

You're assuming that 99.9% of the women were rejections. I've asked out plenty of girls and gone on one or two dates and just didn't feel it. I haven't asked out 1000 women, but I've asked out a lot, hooked up with a good amount, dated a few, broke up with all but one. Now I'm married. It was worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 01:41 PM
0

I'd say it's more like the the hot women got even hotter rather than there being more hot women Average women are as fat or fatter and have much higher levels of mental illness/anxiety I'm obviously not running studies on this at all, but generally speaking, based on anecdotal evidence, high school and college girls are all emulating tik-tok influencers, and the girls I see on college campuses (I'm on them a lot for work) look hotter. They look older, so maybe they'll age faster, but for now, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 01:35 PM
1

Yes. And there's more skill or purposeful action involved than just existing. For instance, when I was in college, I chose my second major - Communication - because that was the program that had the most hot girls (outside of something like nursing that I wasn't going to go into). So I double majored in Poly-Sci (so I could become a lawyer) and Communication (so I could have a better ratio of hot girls).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 01:21 PM
0

I respectfully disagree. I know what you're talking about, but I think its more nuanced than that. It's a sliding scale. The more money you have, the less looks you need. And vice versa. Also, I said financially wealthy, but I am using money to substitute for broader things, like money, power, influence, reputation. We like to think of people being valued on a scale of 1-10, but, in my theory, there is no upper limit on a person's value (kinda like how they score gymnastics in the olympics). The…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 08:26 PM
1

I disagree. I think it might be higher than 20%. I'm 5'6" and Asian, and I've slayed it cause I'm in great shape and a lawyer. I have a friend who is white and 5'5" and a lawyer, and he went on 3 dates a week, and slept with half of them, because they all wanted to date a lawyer. I know I'm not going to land a 10, and neither was my friend - but 6-8 any day and the occasional 9. The more money you have, the less other things matter. Look at Elon Musk. He's ugly as fuck. Did you see talulah riley…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 05:31 PM
2

I am much better at picking up women when drunk. Less inhibitions and funnier
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 02:56 PM
6

I completely disagree. Women on average have more value than most men, but I think peak men are at the top of the game. They have more value than they've ever had. Men at the top of the dating game are slaying it. Thanks to modern science and fitness culture, there are more attractive women than ever before - while there are so few men who are: Physically attractive Financially wealthy Without personality defects/ red flags The ratio of attractive women per attractive/ rich guy has totally skewe…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 02:55 PM
1

I see dating as a combintation of both Generally, I believe the best way to succeed at dating is to min/max your stats, no different than an RPG character - taking into account starting stats and what character type fits you best. If you're natural stats are low in physical attributes, you better maximize the things that help increase your earning potential or charisma. Of course, you also have to take into account the people you want to date. You can't use charisma against someone who only care…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 03:53 PM
1

There's not just one way to get women. Being the friendly "knows everyone" guy is definitely a viable approach, especially if we are talking day-game or just casually playing the field (throwing out lots of bait to see what bites). Obviously, this advice doesn't apply to everyone but it works for me, especially because I'm always at networking events and business seminars. Being a "mysterious loner" doesn't work when your work involves lots of schmoozing. These days, I'm married, don't hide my w…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 02:31 PM
1

I'm 38. Not sure what generation you are but I assume younger. I still approach women, but only ones you are firmly millenials. It still works for me. Regarding groups of women, the secret is you can't be a single male. If it's a group of women, you need a wingman. Doesn't have to be even numbers. Even 2 guys can approach 8 girls. As long as you are funny and/or generous (buying a round of drinks is a quick way to show you have money)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 02:21 PM
1

I'm sorry to hear
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 07:07 PM
1

Most of the single women I meet 35+ are pretty desperate. 30-35 seems pretty normal to be single in cities or metro areas, though
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 04:15 PM
2

Physically impossible? Do you mind elaborating?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 04:14 PM
1

I think being extroverted and outgoing can increase desirability. I also think average men need to be more extroverted to get results. And I think being awkward can work against you when you are average or attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 04:06 PM
1

Yeah. I mean, the truth is, I am a purple pill, because I agree with the existence of many of the rules that redpills point out. But I also believe that the rules are somewhat easy to manipulate in your favor with a little bit (or a lot of) hard work and dedication. You just have to be willing to min-max your stats. So, I'd go so far as to say that most people are failed normies who just need more guidance (or luck and money). But I'm also a little bit of blue pill, because I don't believe in br…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 09:03 PM
2

I'm not one for affecting societal change. I just look out for me and mine. I believe its surprisingly easy to transform a guy into someone that gets women, but there are certain things that simply cannot be helped, unfortunately, regardless of effort (unless you include surgery). And if you're not neurotypical, you might be shit out of luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 08:53 PM
1

I turned a D&D group into real friends. I was the DM, and I just invited them over to my house to game instead of playing at the hobby shop. After a while, we would hang out even if we weren't playing (BBQs, friendsgivings, etc). It just takes someone taking the initiative to take the next step. I'm good at taking that initiative
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 08:50 PM
2

Sounds like you're really working on it. Good luck!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 08:15 PM
1

No. I'm just curious. I am a bit of a mentor in real life, especially to many men who struggle with dating, and I'm looking for patterns that will help me better help them. I am trying to better understand the mentality and reasons that men have trouble with dating and women. Thanks for asking though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 08:04 PM
5

I'm married now, but when I was dating (after the age of 19 or 20, anyway), I'd define "not very sexual" like that. It didn't need to be sex, but if I didn't get a blowjob by date #3, I wasn't going on a 4th date. And, to be clear, I had no problem being exclusive or dating for marriage. I just wanted to marry someone as sexually uninhibited as I was. I found someone like that, by the way. It's awesome. Way too many people on the marriage sub complaining about sexual incompatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 07:35 PM
0

Well, looks like being social worked out for you. Good work!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 07:09 PM
1

Right?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 06:27 PM
8

Just curious
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 05:50 PM
4

Hey, as to your response to #4, my wife has the same auditory processing issue. It's a cognitive issue actually. she's seen an ENT about it, and she doesn't have hearing problems - just processing problems when sounds are layered on top of each other. Anyway, it sucks. Just thought I'd share.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 05:48 PM
1

Women are not a monolith. That said, the statistical majority of women prefer rough sex to varying degrees. There is a significant minority that do not. Just google "percentage of women who prefer rough sex." The problem is too many people think their world view is everyone's world view. The range of preferences out there is WIDE. You can't let one woman's stated preference stand in for the "revealed preference" of other women. Judge each woman as individual
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 07:24 PM
5

It might be more socially acceptable, but it's also more benign. As an insult, it doesn't carry that much weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 04:18 PM
–

Fuck, these stats are dark and depressing
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 03:40 PM
2

Interesting. How does that work
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 01:59 AM
3

This is only referring to traditional monogamous relationships Define "traditional" here. Otherwise, I think everyone is fine to dictate the boundaries for their own relationship and find an agreeable partner. I think it's bullshit to tell anyone else what is good and bad for them. But, I fall outside that disclaimer already. Team non-monogamy here.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 04:39 PM
2

I know that this is more common for men and less common for women... but women do it, too. Plenty of women in the swinger scene and in the cuckolds scene. But that said, I'm a hedonist. Sex is a high for me. I know a lot of women who think similarly. Honestly, no different than getting a massage.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 03:23 PM
1

I don't think it's fair to say that "women don't mean much for males." My wife means a fucking lot to me. But I think men have an easier time separating sex from emotion. I can have sex with someone without liking her, loving her, or even knowing her name. And before anyone chimes in: I agree that sex is better when you do have that emotional component. But sometimes, it's just sex. It's just fun. Like getting drunk. Speaking from experience as a swinger.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 03:17 PM
9

I would go so far as to argue that men are as likely if not more likely to not get sentimental and just leave. Speaking as a guy
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 03:09 PM
2

I think friends with benefits is already pretty normalized. I have no problem with normalized casual sex. It's all arbitrary anyway. Once upon a time, respectable women didn't kiss multiple partners. Now it's sex. In Roman times, it was very different. It's all a moving target based on arbitrary standards. Personally, i think there should be no stigma against having lots of sex or being asexual. Social Libertarianism, baby. "Homie head" does feel one sided though. If a FWB ever gave me head, i w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 01:20 AM
0

Your thread reminded me of something I've literally never told anyone. When our daughters were younger, I know there were times that my wife was worried about me being alone with them. At some point when our daughters were younger, my oldest was having some vaginal issues, and I know my wife even asked her if "daddy ever touched her" inappropriately, etc. At first, i was hurt that she would not trust her own husband and father of her children, but I got over it pretty quickly, because she's righ…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 07:06 PM
0

I'm a man. I have two daughters. I worry about this shit all the time. Continue protecting yourself. A good guy will understand the world we live in and won't be offended when you "don't trust him" immediately.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 06:31 PM
2

I didn't really understand what a "pick me" was before this. Now, after watching more of the videos from these creators, I do. That said, I had a few girls like this in college. I just referred to them as FWBs. We'd be friends, hang out, go drinking with our other friends. If we had nothing better to do, we'd end the night fucking or her giving me head. It's not a new thing. Just a new term?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 06:27 PM
2

I don't know about the "sharing" thing but I do understand what you are talking about people not wanting to be exclusive. And I think you're right that the top guys and top girls are with a disproportionate amount of people. But, so what? I mean, you're not wrong that a system, like upper class Victorian England, where people "courted" and then married one person, and then were taken out of the running, resulted in everyone needing to settle to find their partner... but that society was inherent…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:17 PM
0

Nah, we're just hedonists. I'm in the lifestyle because I don't want to have sex with the same person for the rest of my life... or only one person at the same time all the time. I've fucked three women at the same time twice. Lost count of the threesomes. I've had fucked more women in the lifestyle than she has fucked guys. But I don't really try to take any ownership over her body, and it wouldn't be fair to just fuck other women if she can't fuck other guys. But, you know, we're both professi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:12 PM
2

Sure. But we prefer swinging with other couples - mfmf
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 11:15 PM
0

Depends on the day but mostly yes. Mostly is swapping with other couples, but sometimes rarely just a threesome, sometimes just her with another girl
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 11:15 PM
-3

To what? And why? Maybe I'm missing some nuance on the colors
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 11:11 PM
3

I would consider anything that brings my wife a lot of pleasure, just like she would for me. The point is to take turns making the other person happy, or possibly make each other happy at the same time. I’m totally happy to explore any kink
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:34 PM
2

This should be the top answer
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:21 PM
2

We swing by the way. The secret is to make it a team effort. We swing together. We fuck other people together. She’s watched me fuck other women, and she thinks it’s hot to watch me in action. Of course, she's usually getting fucked at the same time or having the girl eat her out or something along those lines
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:20 PM
2

If my wife is into it and that's what SHE wants, then I'd do it. Because I'm all about helping her get off. But the humiliation aspect is weird for me. We swing by the way. She's watched me fuck other women, and she thinks it's hot to watch me in action.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:18 PM
7

Yeah, the sex is fine, but the humiliation makes me uncomfortable
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:17 PM
3

No, but it's less fun than her participating. But whatever gets her off. We swing. I speak from experience. She says it's hot to watch me fuck other girls
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:16 PM
1

Good for you!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 11:10 PM
1

I'm married. I meant I wasn't referring to settling down when talking about this subject. But i was thinking about my life before marriage, and the fact that it was sex first, then see how we get along starting the morning after
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 11:09 PM
1

What are the numbers like in Europe? Are they as bad as in the US? That would be good evidence against my post. I haven't looked up those numbers
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:40 PM
1

So, you say you're fit, but you aren't attracting women. What do you do to meet women such that you know you aren't attracting them?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:39 PM
1

I agree that that happens, too. But I think these things feed each other. Also, a lot of people are fat before high school, and stay that way forever. I don't think there are many women who get fat to desexualize themselves. Most women - the overwhelming majority - wish they were more attractive. Most single women - the overwhelming majority - want to date. I'm not saying they'll settle for anyone. Just that they want to meet someone amazing that checks off all their boxes.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:38 PM
2

Yeah, I can see that, and I think being attractive from 18-35 is the most important time. If you are in the city, 35 is more the cutoff, but I hear ya. I just think of dating as a numbers game, and the more attractive you are, the more chances you have to roll the dice
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:35 PM
1

I'm not really concerned about settling down. I'm really talking about meeting other people in the first place, starting a conversation, going out on that first date. I believe that too many people aren't even getting past that step. Maybe I'm projecting my own values, but I believe the first month of a relationship often progresses based on nothing more than attraction and chemistry. And I believe that many people are willing to overlook other flaws, when attraction is high. Just look at trophy…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:32 PM
1

Interesting. Why do you think that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:22 PM
2

I'm sure some are. But I'm also sure not all are. 🤷🏻‍♂️ Plus, there's just less options all around at that point
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 02:17 AM
1

Please elaborate. I'm genuinely interested
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 01:15 AM
2

I think your last sentence is important. What fraction of fat people are willing to pair up with other fat people? How many would rather be alone than with someone they're not attracted to? I don't know the answer
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 01:14 AM
3

This would be a moot point if most people were always in shape. Then there's none of that mentality
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 01:11 AM
1

Ignoring the "crazy means crazy in bed" part for one second. A lot of times, women who live dangerously and are "livewire, mercurial, neurotic" are also initially fun, outgoing, spontaneous, and exciting. So, viewing it from that lens, a lot of these women are desired at first because it's not clear the extent of their crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 07:02 PM
1

Great insight
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 06:49 PM
1

My ex was this, and I knew she was toxic and terrible - but I also kept coming back for the sex. The really good, whatever-dirty-thing-i-wanted sex. We were on-and-off for three years. I literally had a female friend say to me "We all know there's only one reason you're still with her." Word of advice for others: Yeah, the sex was good, but, ultimately, it wasn't worth it. There are sane women who are great in bed, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 06:48 PM
–

Disagree. Any girl can be clingy, so any guy who is able to sufficiently land a girl can end up with a clingy girl. A girl is more likely to be clingy if there is a value discrepancy - but one of the things that can lower her value IS the fact that she's clingy. Another big factor is that a girl will be more clingy if she has invested more (time, energy, etc) into the guy. So, two 3s can be together and the girl can still easily be clingy
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 04:34 PM
7

I think there's more to being relationship material than being a decent human being. You have to be able to make human connections with others. You have to be able to offer something intellectually, romatically, possibly physically. Some people just can't do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 06:05 PM
1

I'm not saying people don't deserve some things. Like in your example: I agree with the sentiment that all people deserve to be treated with respect until they show you they are not worthy of respect. I agree people deserve safety, food, shelter, not to be discriminated against based on race, etc. But i stand by my statement that "deserves an amazing wife" is a weird and incorrect thing to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 05:57 PM
8

Why does he "deserve an amazing wife?" No one deserves an amazing wife. No one deserves an amazing husband. I'm of the opinion that many, many people these days just aren't cut out for marriage or relationships. People don't deserve to be in relationships. That said, I don't disagree with the sentiment in your title. While I would never PERSONALLY want to be with someone with no friends - and I think most of society would agree - introverts often do best with other introverts.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 04:45 PM
1

Yikes. Take care of yourself. Also, not your fault. The original post isn't that clear either
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 07:06 PM
1

Sorry, then I misunderstood.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 06:54 PM
2

"You guys really think the only thing we’re good for is sex" implies that men are always the one who expect sex in the relationship. Lots of people have standards for sexual frequency in a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 06:52 PM
1

The deadbedrooms sub is full of women who have high libidos than their husbands. It's not a gender thing. Sexual compatibility and agreement on libido/frequency is a foundation of a good relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 06:48 PM
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100%
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 04:04 PM
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Here's the thing. You simply can't please everyone. You keep saying "women," as if what one woman says represents all other women. Women are not a monolith and neither are men. Some women truly believe men should never approach in public. Other women will never feel attracted to a man who does not make the first move. So, here's what I do. I do what I think works and is appropriate. If a girl thinks i'm too forward, then she was never the girl for me in the first place. Before dating my wife, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 02:31 PM
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Here's the thing. You simply can't please everyone. You keep saying "women," as if what one woman says represents all other women. Women are not a monolith and neither are men. Some women truly believe men should never approach in public. Other women will never feel attracted to a man who does not make the first move. So, here's what I do. I do what I think works and is appropriate. If a girl thinks i'm too forward, then she was never the girl for me in the first place. Before dating my wife, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 02:30 PM
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Yeah, even if you aren't that's what I would worry about immediately. Or conservative. I would worry you are conservative, which generally means less adventurous in bed. Personally, it just wouldn't be worth the time for me to explore it, since there are so many fish in the sea
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 05:36 PM
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25yo virgin screams Christian or religious to me, if you are even remotely attractive. And, personally, Christian/religious is the number 1 red flag for me
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 05:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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