TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

animalx3 Archive

View 7 posts and 175 comments by animalx3 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

No way in hell. Hell my bro! lol you’re going to want to move on with life and let your baggage live w you and tell you how to raise your kids when it’s your dad time? And you can afford this…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 11:54 PM
16

I always felt ppl went into psych gigs / school because they’re broken and realize it. Glad you got out my man
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 03:17 PM
6

Yes women are calculating and it’s in their dna. The fact they can earn a living and many by a good one makes a big difference. I’m not into nor saying I want or think women should be at home pregnant. I’m just agreeing w some other comments that women are calculating and really don’t need men
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 12:58 PM
2

God speed
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 02:58 AM
3

Hinge. I didn’t put divorced or divorcing. I put open to short time though. But hinge and those video snips you can do - pull em in my bro
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 01:13 PM
1

Ya I’d not jump into the dating pool until you heal and rationalize your ownership of things as there may be. I did not wait and felt crappy for running through women as they were all nice or many were and I was simply “Window shopping” and sorta callous (sadly)
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 10:27 PM
1

And on that heal and finding someone different I am sure you will as you seem to have a good attitude about it. I’m sure this wasn’t what you wanted to happen but you’re planning on moving forward. This group can also offer advice on dating etc when you get there
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 06:27 PM
1

Only you’ll know. If you want to risk it seek couples counseling plus individual. I feel and could be wrong she may not have respected you as you mentioned because you’re too nice…read no more mr nice guy regardless of your decision
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 05:17 PM
2

Yuppppp. When a guy gives up his goals and puts her first it’s over. Always be respectful of her but keep your focus first IMO and give her the time you want to but clearly set aside for her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 10:44 AM
1

I didn’t read the previous comments. But if you read dating for men, and no more mr nice guy, twice, and do what’s suggested you’ll be fine. I found dating to be fun but not necessarily for me as I was aggressively dating many and I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted. Maybe you’ll have same experience.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 06:37 PM
1

My bar doesn’t care on income. Mainly I asked how to diy. Pretty easy long as you don’t have young kids
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 01:26 AM
1

My bar doesn’t care on income. Mainly I asked how to diy. Pretty easy long as you don’t have young kids
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 01:26 AM
1

I did this. I was able via the local bar to book a lawyer super cheap. You can DM me if you want
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 11:38 PM
2

I had to create a document stating anything after X was on her. You’ll prob be ok if you filled and had a mention of $ and a date else you can prob look up the divorce law of your state for your awareness
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 08:44 PM
2

You can’t fix her. You can’t change her. If you’re here asking you are already hurting. Don’t get her pregnant and get a counselor then chat w then about my first two points and make your choice
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 12:45 PM
1

Your call. It’s your data.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 03:06 PM
1

Agree based upon experience.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 01:07 AM
1

Someone else’s soon to be problem!
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 03:30 AM
3

Had that. Sweet woman. Left that fast AF.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 03:21 AM
3

I love hanging w punk chicks as well. Good job my man and enjoy.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 06:16 PM
2

Tinder is trash. Hinge is better IMO. ;) live your life but I’d suggest dating many at first before declaring new love. You’re basically starving I think for attention
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 12:14 PM
1

Read dating for men and no more mr nice guy. Be honest w women but I’d not recommend dating for abit. It’s mean out there but if you wanna DM just ask
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 09:46 PM
1

Mine was actually just today. She said hey I’m available and will see what you want to do. See if we can make this work. 4 weeks later screwing some guy…. Didn’t have the decency to tell me what was on her mind prior to getting busy. I never thought she’d be that freaking callous. Damn that was a kick to the junk lol
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 06:56 PM
2

Been here. Done this. Don’t do this lol she showed you who she was so why put your needs/growth opportunity at her feet? You’re it seems getting better but then not so why let her so this to you?
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 04:43 PM
1

I try to avoid this topic personally. Hey month 3-4 dating go for it but I don’t care. I’m dating not a therapist IMO. You ask this? What date? First? 6th?
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 02:31 AM
5

Mourn your divorce. It’s death. First and accept it and be cool with it. Read dating for men Read no more mr nice guy Be direct. Be decisive. Be blunt but kind If she doesn’t offer to pay for stuff equally move along If they trama dump move on Get a dog Get ready to text some but avoid that stuff You’re fitting in their life!!! This is good IMO m. If they’re highly available move on
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 02:29 AM
3

Needs to build a tribe as well. Women and dating are easy while rebuilding if he lost his Bros is a tough.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 11:48 PM
1

Dangerously fun!!! Love mine!!! Plus the community is great
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 01:52 PM
3

That’s a great question. There’s prob things that will pop up through your process. Hell I had to think through a ton of crap
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 02:07 AM
5

Growing micro greens. Scrap metal. Cutting firewood.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 08:53 PM
2

My two bits. Do not date until you mourn your marriage and forgive yourself. That’s my latest learning anyways. Much luck
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 07:25 PM
0

Hee hee as am I but a different one. I winnowed down from many to one rather quickly as dating is expensive. I simply can’t hate ppl though but I recognize I have no I idea what your wife did and I’m not asking. ;) luck w your new friend
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 07:24 PM
3

I’m going to hang w mine today actually. She’s good ppl but I’m not going back to that with as much depth
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 04:20 PM
1

Definitely wouldn’t feel good to be dumped over boredom. But on the flip and defending abit my position if someone isn’t happy, they’ve informed, and they’re not seeing a change they can change themselves. Can’t force another to do anything they don’t want right? And what if they change so much they want out? That they don’t see things better or don’t want to risk it? I didn’t have a person I was chasing/with but I knew I wasn’t happy. Personally even though I’m divorcing, and it sucks, I often …
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 12:34 PM
1

I’ve read no more mr nice guy as well as dating for men which is prob similar to pook. I’ve no challenging picking up women now. ;) to easy actually I found as it’s like anything I put my mind to I typically excel at. I think I’ll try the spiritual ones. Thx!
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 12:23 PM
1

Yup. I had a post the other day asking what is the point? I realized after the fact I didn’t mourn my divorce and forgive myself. I can say I feel better divorcing than married as I often felt the way I currently feel while married “to my life partner” which was 29 years. But that isn’t really my point. Divorce sucks and is a death
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 12:18 PM
5

Not necessarily. I ended my marriage but didn’t have a “person” in mind. I had a list of things that didn’t change but I wanted to and informed and informed often on. So I’m finding my person and maybe she is as well. Sadly relationships have a time line IMO and maybe this one was hit as well? Sucks and being the one that filed isn’t making it easier at all on me or others It was in the making for me though and was prob for OP stbxw and why he is shocked.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 04:08 PM
1

I am married. Divorcing after a long long time. I’m 50. My identity was tied into my marriage but after I filed I a was void. I quickly rushed into dating and found I’m attractive, smart, desired which wasn’t my home experience at all. Don’t take it out on yourself but maybe think about forgiveness and understanding. If you want to get into the dating scene read dating for men - twice. That book has all you need but IMO it gets old and then real growth may happen. Luck on this journey
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 04:38 AM
2

One does need a good dram with a good cigar. I’ve a mess of cao flatheads at a killer price
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 09:40 PM
1

Super interesting. I have heard it takes 2 years to get over a divorce. I realized this week I had not forgiven myself for my divorce and have been doing that. I’m to goal oriented though and have been and I’m looking to unmuddle that with some thoughts on mindfulness
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 09:38 PM
1

I think, and I’ll ponder this, I didn’t forgive myself for my divorce. Or grieve the loss of. Was thinking this over cigars last night. Spoken words even to yourself matter and I will say I forgive myself many times this week and see if that matters. But I do have many nice cigars and whiskey so that’s a self care thing as well. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 02:08 PM
2

Ya? Stoicism? Care to share??? It’s just things are so easy it’s simply boring.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 01:38 AM
2

Ya. I landed a new challenge today so it’ll take some time. Punching the clock and pounding hot chicks just seems pointless. ;) but damn they love me lol
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 11:25 PM
1

Damn man. So so sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 11:01 PM
3

Bail. I’m happier w my ambiguity to be honest. It sucks but gets better
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 10:16 PM
4

That’s awesome. Hell maybe I’m just looking for some texts from ppl in this group saying you’re normal. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 04:47 PM
2

I make killer $. Set both of us up kinda $ and no I don’t pay alimony. Maybe I need a new business to focus my extra energy on….
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:31 PM
9

Yup I’m my best friend. I love where I am on the daily but I’m looking at those 35 years thinking what’s the point?
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:30 PM
2

Just picked it up. Thx for the suggestion
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:29 PM
2

Yup. I’m honest about things and what I’m feeling and that’s like chum to some women - I’m emotionally available and they’re lovely people. Maybe I’ll just start a new business and pour into that abit. So no books to suggest? Maybe I’ll crank through ways of a superior man again
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 03:04 PM
1

It’s Oklahoma. I assume they favor women as I grew up there as well. Sorry this is happening to you, emotionally, as the other stuff isn’t really that important unless you try to make it so.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 01:24 PM
1

Love and live your life. I you like the younger one do that. If you like to sleep around do so ethically. It’s your life my man
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 12:24 PM
1

This.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 08:12 PM
1

Try the book no more mr nice guy. Make sure you’re not part of problem
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 08:11 PM
2

Facebook has groups. Or start one for things like hiking. Ppl are getting into pickle ball. I can’t play pickle ball in my local town as my X is in that group first so snap that up if you’re interested. lol books and book clubs. Bars and pool tournaments. There’s a ton of things. I’m fresh into divorcing myself and found dating fun as hell
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 09:06 PM
2

1/ men love sex is an excuse-every gender does. ;) women just use more of their brain 2/ stop this man…just push her out and ensure kids are generally aware. She decided the unknown was worse than known. 3/ this will not end good for you unless you’re ok with a f ton of counseling as a couple and you feel she’s in to win.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 01:18 PM
4

So my bro. I was married probably longer than you’ve graced this planet. My wife couldn’t love herself and therefore couldn’t love me. I’ve some ownership in this as I wasn’t the kinda guy that would calmly say this is what I want - come with or bye. We have kids so I met in her middle not mine and suffered for years. Fast forward 4-5 months into divorce proceedings and trying to be friends then back to more than then me realizing this again was for her benefit not necessarily mine and I simply …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:55 PM
1

This!
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:49 PM
3

You’ll be surprised that life gets better and after you’re not as stresses at home you’ll be able to recalibrate your life. If you want more $ you’ll think about retraining. If you want more time to your self it’s suddenly there. My situation was no where where you are but this is my life now. I’m a huge reader. You? Try rebuilding out. Cool book with some depth.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:46 PM
1

Almost a quote from ways of a superior man
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 04:41 AM
1

Hey I’m next to mine right now. But I also shoot for amicably separating as well as she is and our debates and damages are done. I’m with the others…mess around…. Don’t give her money…try to be honest w yourself and her. And bro women don’t have casual sex like men. There’s studies showing their cerebral cortex lights up when deciding in ways men’s simply do not…they’re crazy thinking.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 12:02 PM
3

I’m sorry this is happening to you. I may be off but you were also looking for validation and for her to say F ya do me. It can happen but after awhile and you’ll both have to want to be vulnerable. If she’s not bringing it up in the future may wanna just let that comment / ask of sex hang out there but never mentioned again. Things change and the world is big my man. Don’t kick yourself but know it for whatever it is and be a better you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 03:10 PM
2

Damn man. I’m sorry that happened to you. Really crappy deal
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 10:54 PM
1

Ya. I’m a reader. If someone tosses me a list of books I’ll consume and do the work sheets. Thx. Got a list? ;)
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 10:53 PM
2

Breathe. Dude. Seriously. And yes she’ll be who she is. Don’t fret what you cannot change. Easier said than done. ;) but true
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:48 PM
3

Mine is aware she shouldn’t reach out to me to fix the little stuff in her life. She’s independent out of necessity and I’m proud of her for sorting this out
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 04:18 AM
1

Apps. In person. Friends of friends. Read dating for men. Great advice in that book.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 08:22 PM
2

Exactly. I once assumed and thought no way am I digging into this and actually let sleeping dogs lie and I moved on. Ppl r ppl and things are so complicated already
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 04:58 PM
4

Shared values, shared hobbies, shared community, shared conversation. A partner, sex without begging, listening, hearing…. Maybe that’s in your mix and just underlined but I was not happy and it was due to lack of connection
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 09:28 PM
1

I feel that things will get better at their own pace. You’ve been dealt a blow you didn’t ask for for sure. I’m the guy that looks to books for answers and will recommend you try that route. If you’re not a reader try Libby app and getting a library card to listen to books vs reading. There’s a ton of good ones. Ways of a superior man, dating for men, no more mr nice guy, rebuilding. Tons more I could recommend
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 07:11 PM
2

Force communication. Force it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 09:09 PM
1

Hell I worked up front with my stbxw. As kids were grown and we agreed 50/50 we had 45 minutes with an attorney and did this ourselves. Few bumps along way but it was simple so far
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 08:29 PM
1

I’m into Okinawan karate blended with straight up atreet boxing, mui Thai, and some joint locks. Not so much ground and pound. Was fun
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 03:20 AM
1

I get his point. ;) your joke about men is funny but I’m thinking about getting back into martial arts
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 01:57 AM
1

Got another? lol read that twice.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 01:56 AM
1

Yoga. Men time with competition…stop screwing girls in same state as you. Find quality
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 01:54 AM
1

There’s hiking groups on FB. It’s what I’m going to use if I can this week.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 07:02 PM
1

Mine wasn’t plotting and I’m sorry yours was. I love my wife, we’re friends, and friendly. Simply we’re different with different needs and she couldn’t grow while married. I’ll just say I’m F’ing great at tasks and support on high level stuff but we were broken on comm’s. I’ll never trash mine even when going out the door. But I’m also not going back ;)
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 07:00 PM
1

Anyone got book recommendations on this topic?
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 02:26 PM
5

I think I’m also coming to grips with the idea of no life partner with a plan. I was working on my home this week and yard and realized no one cares but me. I get my satisfaction still but only I care. But we were at odds over this as well so I was lying to myself then and simply not now. Super interesting and I own and embrace my emotions and sort them.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 02:25 PM
1

Many people don’t read. Sadly. But I am a firm believer in reading as I cannot get enough experiences on my own and rely on books so I can get someone else’s ideas. Plus I get sick of ppl but still like ideas so I’ll take that book
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 08:56 PM
2

I just started emotional first aid by guy winch. Direct, simple, written in my mental language of analytical as I’m mostly analytically driven. Highly recommend you try it out if you’re a reader
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 07:50 PM
1

I was similar. Not entire. But many times. I’m simply suggesting be careful and grow. ;) I’m also dating but enjoy my me time to sort out my life…. I’ve no clue who I am as a solo person so sorting and killing time abit
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 03:48 PM
2

Just thinking about myself and sharing I’m separated and pending divorce. I’m enjoying my single life as well as being lonely in it. Forces / allows me think and evaluate who I am and what in want from life.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 04:05 AM
2

I’m still a quality over quantity guy to be honest. I’m not against a long term again but I get you are feeling attractive. My thought and you didn’t ask was have you felt lonely yet then rebuilt yourself? Might want to consider that so you’re a real solid guy when you weed through your chaff
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 04:24 PM
6

For you? No. I’d not recommend because you’re negative. You need to work on yourself and work through whatever is going on in your head. Me? I’m having a blast but I’m a set no expectations and have a good time kinda guy.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 08:09 AM
2

Good for you my man. Try out the book ways of a superior man and on the off chance you guys don’t make it dating for men as well as rebuilding.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 12:57 PM
1

Nope. Nothing wrong with a long term committed relationship though.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 01:44 PM
4

It’ll get better. I held on for 20 dealing with that shit as I feel I am accountable for taking care of kids, provider, protector etc. I tried for 20 years to get her to care in a way I needed / wanted and she couldn’t and didn’t. Now we’re separated and will officially divorce when allowed by courts and my life’s not amazing but way better. I’m thriving bud and you will to. Get some books, get a counselor, rebuild your men tribe if you let that slip.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 04:11 PM
1

Quit claim. My wife bought and we’ve not filed. Also gotta worry about excise tax but ask the lender
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 04:02 AM
5

I’ve never found a woman worth ending my life over. Glad you didn’t either as there’s 3.7 billion of them. As much as things hurt really it’s perspective IMO and moving on. Again glad you’re around
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 10:46 PM
1

Damn. lol. I don’t necessarily agree but that’s funny AF
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 02:21 PM
2

Read how to get through a breakup in 30 days. Love, live, and embrace your loneliness Find a dog park and see if you can make a random new community or go hiking. Start a 30+ ready to mingle FB group of there’s not one by you. But don’t wilt away and do ask yourself why she left. Was it you? And if so how / why and what will you do about this so you don’t create the same. And bud women love stability - unless there’s a court order stop paying her bills and find someone who will appreciate you an…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 02:54 PM
1

Oh hell man. Thx for the note. I embrace all my emotions including the grief of the “death” of my marriage. ;) I am truly looking forward to rebuilding and the deciding for myself including my loneliness. If there’s any books on coping you’re aware of let me know. But I am curious why are you still looking at these posts about divorce? Not judging just wondering?
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 04:45 AM
3

Still pending my paperwork being completed. I’m looking forward to loneliness to be honest and rebuilding, finding myself, and having a decent time as well
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 03:30 AM
1

Its about as hard as having $60 in your pocket and going to a bar. :) everyone is your friend.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 12:21 AM
3

Since you’re a reader try ways of a superior man.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 12:19 AM
3

My kids are grown adults. She was simply thinking in her old mental model and I’m breaking that. I’d be hard pressed personally for even a kid as mine wouldn’t be fixing my stuff. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 03:22 PM
11

Robert glover. And if you find you’re slipping back into being to nice try the book no more mr nice guy. I’m not saying in all this be a jack ass but just be honest about what you want, who you are, and don’t ever fix their crap for them even if you know how. They’re big girls…. And bro get this. Moving my ex out today to her new house and she said I’ll need a plumber. Call this guy, say you’re my wife, ask for one of these two guys skip the rest if he says anyone different. Then she’s like I’ll…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 02:49 PM
1

Better? I started going out myself as needed 5 years ago or so. I’m rebuilding my friends network and hanging w people. You? How’s yours better, worse, indifferent?
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 01:47 PM
5

Read the book dating essentials for men. It’s easy. Just do what that guy says
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 01:09 PM
3

Bro. And I’ll lean in with bro. What the literal f are you doing in this group. Watch your porn - ditch the chick. Do yourself a favor you are being controlled. There’s so many great women out there just tell your wife I like porn, you’re not enough sexually, and say let me help you pack. I swear usually I’m the guy in this group saying make it work, divorce sucks, and it does as I’m moving my stbxw out today. But damn…. Read the book ways of a superior man and live that. (Update below) I just l…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 01:04 PM
2

Get a beer, cigar, scotch, and ponder how you got here and decide what was your ownership and toss rest away. There’s grass. May not be greener. But it’s what you make of it. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 02:16 AM
5

Her body her choice. Don’t like it leave her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 01:12 PM
1

Put them in a folder on Google or outlook…whatever you have for email. Then talk to a counselor and sort it. You can’t really outrun your past and may want them someday as a reminder of some good days or bad.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 01:10 PM
2

Why is she your best friend? Serious question. Mine was distant and physically unavailable for 20 years and when I said I’m done she said I was her best friend as well. I asked her then why did you leave me miserable and un filled after I surfaced over the years? I don’t know was her response…and that’s why I keep on my path to divorce. ;) she would do me the same if I let her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 03:22 AM
2

I bought out her equity and have same home. I am considering renting an on prem appt though to take advantage of tax implications as much as drive some additional revenue into my pocket
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 09:28 PM
1

If you’ve not read them try ways of a superior man, rebuilding, how to rebuild a heart in 30 days…this was abit dodgie but had some ideas. Lighter was good as a follow up / clean up. Then there’s befriending you’re ex after divorce. I’m still reading this one but seems ok. And when you’re ready to date read dating essentials for men and for why not’s try any book on poly. The subtle art of not giving a fuck is great as well as no more mr nice guy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:53 PM
8

Oh man. I’m moving my wife out this weekend to her home and wish it wasn’t like this. Marriage is great until it’s not. ;) I bet you’ll find the right one or ones and hope you do as I’d not trade my marriage for anything - at least the memory of. ;) but my divorce isn’t like many here as we’re hanging out and plan to see a few football games together etc. life’s for living man…do it
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 11:04 PM
-4

I can recommend books to read on being a friend to her, rebuilding your life, be the best man you can be, how to communicate as it may not be to late. If you’re not a reader I’ll save the 30 seconds until you ask
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 09:30 PM
2

Saying same thing it seems in end
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 05:12 PM
1

Not arguing just wondering if this is the healthiest attitude or foundational perspective. I’m divorcing, about two months away from that ink hitting the final papers, and I spent years working on me. Yes I want to rage at her for putting me into this position / path but why? My path has my stbxw in it - always. As I consider her family even post divorce but I personally don’t “consider her” in my own growth and what I’m trying to achieve. But I think I’ve a unique divorce as I was the one who p…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 03:21 PM
7

Damn bro. Sorry. Grass isn’t always greener and eventually you’ll move on stronger and wiser and she’ll have to fix herself. The crap we put up with huh when we’re trying to be the foundation? Of course the horror stories when a man does the same to a woman just breaks my heart. But you’ll be solid in a year or two.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 01:32 PM
1

In theory stability, knowing a person in depth, with a socially acknowledged union but ya. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I’m in middle of divorce and not against marriage but definitely abit gun shy on it
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 01:14 PM
2

I just said we’re not doing so good IMO. Should always be I feel, this reason, this action needed, then a recourse. Else it’s just saying I’m not happy and dump and run which isn’t really fair IMO
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 12:38 AM
2

Hit it
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 02:16 AM
1

Mines next weekend. I’ll miss her as we’re friends and friendly. But this happen
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 02:13 AM
2

Sorry to hear this. Sounds like, and you’d know, she’s thinking her life is better without the husband but wants security of same guy in different context. There’s literally 1000’s of women there for you to have sex with. If that with her brings you emotional pain I’d recommended not doing her and find a few “friends“. Crazy how much women would love a guy that’s divorcing, didn’t want to, wants a relationship…. They’re sick of the tools that only want a weekend and know the type.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 12:22 AM
3

Dayum and you’re right. Full send but just know divorce sucksssss. But I’d leave as well
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 07:16 PM
2

But in your case, and wtf, she wasn’t happy. And the proposition etc was her looking for stability wasn’t it? Not calling you out just saying that even in your relationship it’s similar probably to the rest of us that one or both are not happy but maybe due to communication challenges y’all has this was an outcome. The big question is would you take her back? Maybe not today but later / future?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 03:23 PM
3

Yup at 50 as soon as the ring came off I was getting so much attention from women. It’s not same though as being in a committed relationship so I agree with the others. You be your best you and let her do her thing. You tell her it’s her choice and you don’t agree but would be open to couples counseling. You should consider personal counseling as well as read the book no more mr nice guy. Won’t save your marriage if it’s something she’s dead set on but you’ll be more confident probably and have …
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 12:50 PM
1

Nope. You communicated and tried. You worked on yourself and she knew it, I assume, as you probably told her you were seeking individual counseling. She picked the easier path for her which is not deal with hard crap in her head. Really only you can decide though as you’re looking for validation here. Divorce sucks….badly…. And even if it’s the right thing it blows. Hopefully you are in a no fault state as the republican led ones will make this so much harder on you
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 12:44 PM
2

Dick pick? Only if ya guys were above board and saying “committed” else it’s whatever tickles your fancy. Rest of it yes? She’s got itches you weren’t scratching and she prob told you indirectly over the years but you missed it. Now you’re back in the game (dating) and I’ll just say set no expectations, set no agenda, do what feels right for you, and shoot to get to “no” if that’s what’s going to happen. You’ll love the feminine energy around you and if you’re not hung up on outcomes feel better…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 01:16 PM
3

Look into fb hiking clubs. Foraging clubs. Any low entry enthusiasts group basically. But be active and with intent.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 07:05 AM
2

In found meditations odd. Simply because he’s a warrior killing a ton of ppl or asking others to and he was spitting out these thoughts. Maybe you’ll think same? I’ve no clue on marriage point 2 as I’m thinking that’s not for me. lol
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 07:40 PM
1

I think you may need to consider setting no expectations for things beyond your divorce you can’t control. That leads to disappointing yourself or others which may bug you as you may feel like a failure. You’re not a failure. You’re divorcing and moving on. You’re simply needing a thing that’s yours. As mentioned I picked yoga as it’s healthy mindfulness and meditative plus physically challenging…mad respect for these experienced yoga ppl man…they’re tough as hell and in crazy good shape. But tr…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 06:39 PM
1

Any other book recommendations? I’m a reader and realized I can’t get enough experiences in my own life so draw upon others as well. If recommending a title why?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 02:03 PM
1

I’d say if lawyers are cool with it then go out. The energy of women is amazing and I really enjoy them. If you set zero expectations and just do what feels natural and are honest you’ll find you’re probably more happy around them then sitting at home wondering what to do with your time. Get a coffee. Set a walk or hike. Dinner. Whatever. Just set no expectations else you’ll pine for something they’re not going to give you and you’re back to where you are with your ex but a new one. Have fun. Be…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 01:54 PM
1

Just me but all the things being offered by others are tactical and worked for them. Which isn’t my point but is things that worked for them but not the why perhaps. What did you do before you were a “we” that “you” enjoyed and ask yourself why? I used to work out heavy but trashed my shoulder and can’t do that any longer so I switched to daily yoga and mindfulness. But that’s me…to get my brain wired though for this I read the book the power of habit and added yoga before coffee in the morning …
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 01:49 PM
2

I think shooting for 50/50 is admirable but prob not very realistic for many. My stbxw and I are odd in that we’re really trying and haven’t lawyered up as they say and so far it’s mostly 50/50. But that’s me and mine and yes people are who they are and all of her negative traits will prob be amplified or the first go to. But if you know these things about her it won’t surprise you overly much. Do yourself a favor and set zero expectation of an outcome as it sounds like amicable is a forgone con…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 01:35 PM
24

Control what you can. And don’t get bent outta shape. He will be gone after abit
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 12:03 AM
1

Pick. Just pick. It’s not easy but it’s your call. It sucks to be in and sucks to be leaving. I’ve not left but filed so you should just pick. Maybe even for you both
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 12:02 AM
1

I was same. 50. Minus that $$$. ;) It’s hard but your call to make as was mine. Consider an open relationship and barring that it’s your call. I pulled trigger and filed
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 12:01 AM
1

Ways of a superior man. Abit hard first read or listen but do it twice and you’ll get it. Rebuilding by Bruce fisher - also a double read IMO Dating essentials for men. Guys a genius and why I’m full send with a skip in my step. Lighter is pretty good for letting go I also recommend daily yoga and can tell you how to incorporate into your world so you actually will do it There’s others but these are my go to and why I’m confident AF. I simply know my value to women and that most men that are 50,…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 04:55 PM
8

I have zero concerns personally on finding the next person and potentially even more aligned personality wise. I’m good on paper and better in person plus I’m confident AF. But damn bro I’m sorry you’re also in same spot. I’ve book recommendations if you’re a reader
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 04:29 PM
2

Dude F that. I make more than that and I’d be freaking pissed. She took your better years, took your kids, took your happiness, and takes your $. I once knew a guy who had a good job and quit to be a FedEx driver to avoid this stuff…same difference perhaps in end for you financially
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 02:02 PM
6

Not always. I asked for years to go to counseling. She never wanted to. I finally initiated divorce proceedings. Sorry you felt attacked and I can’t change that I’m just mentioning that I would and could have changed in response to her, in theory, changes and she elected not to try. Sucks regardless of who initiates a divorce. But on the flip I worked on me and my happiness building up my own understanding of who I am and what I wanted in life and in the end I’m leaving her to sort her self on h…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 01:55 PM
2

There’s a million someone for everyone but finding them is challenging. Don’t let that empty nest syndrome kick in and mess your life up. Mix it up and get your happiness for you before you pull that trigger. But if something like hiking the pct isn’t going to fix your head or whatever you’re into nothing will get better really IMO. Your happiness is on you and if you want to tell your kids you were kinda living a half life that’s on you but everyone is impacted by divorces even if amicably done
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 09:45 PM
1

It’s not greener is true. But if he wants out fine. It’s going to mess up so much and maybe counseling can help.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 09:41 PM
0

I’m a big proponent of counseling and reading books etc. if both have been tried and she’s unwilling and you feel you’re not going to feel like a d$&k later and regret then pull trigger. It’s only money in and and just as easy to get out of as in. But will you learn anything? Hard to say but I hope so
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 09:40 PM
1

See if your state allows for a joinder. Basically let’s you join the case without being served…tells courts your also “full send “
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 06:41 AM
2

No. Sell
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 11:41 PM
1

I was with mine for 32 years 29 of them married. I get you but people are divorcing for a reason in this group. It sucks but gotta move on.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 05:02 AM
2

Read dating essentials for men - read it twice. You’ll be ok. Also ways of a superior man and a book called lighter. I’ll be honest I’ve no clue how or why other men are so torn up as I’m in middle of divorce, actually early stage, and barring not knowing how to date I’m pretty good. I’m bummed out and lost weight but that’s expected and I wasn’t that worried. But instead of going full send on one woman go for 10 and then see which ones are high energy and into you. Then simply balance them. You…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 09:36 PM
2

Heal a broken heart in 30 days. It’s a book…try it out Go to gym and work out. Personally I do yoga and meditate but to each their own Start dating again. Try Facebook dating. Hang w your guy buddies Luck
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 09:32 PM
1

Gotcha. Mine was after the fact as we married super young.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 08:11 PM
2

Only you can decide. Have you considered dating someone else then compare and contrast your happiness. There’s a reason you’re divorcing and why you got custody…that’s done for reason by courts. So try to date and maybe get a counselor. If she’s dating let her! Wish her well and pull your heart out of this equation as this should be your head making decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 08:11 PM
3

100% +1. I’m working through the angry AF part of the death of my marriage and wish her nothing but happiness. I tell as I tell her I love her how freaking angry she makes me/made me and I’ll not allow that again. But yes we’re all human, frail, looking for validation, and trying to be out best selves. And if we’re not then I feel sorta badly for people
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 10:41 AM
10

Thank you. I get OP point but it’s not always like what’s being stated. I’m great friends with my stbxw and we’re mid divorce and I’m the one pushing for it. Saddest thing I’ve done in a long time with so many unknowns it’s simply, not daunting, unplanned and messy. I’d much rather my wife had stepped up the last 20 years than where I’m at for sure. But to OP point they do come out of wood work when they see your solid AF and not broken. I’m a forever learner and for ever positive and plan my li…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 10:38 AM
2

But if you earned it together she got 50% right? Mine got about 550k from me as we dissolved things and she earned it as did I IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 09:23 AM
1

Besides try to exhaust all the things. Read the mindful relationship habits together or counseling but damn man be decisive. ;) don’t ask random ppl online what you should do with your life. Get some guy buddies or create them as you’ll need them and ask them this stuff. Not random ppl
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 12:28 AM
4

Don’t leave house but file first. Man up and own your path dude. It sucks either way but better to drive the outcome. Don’t have filing guilt though and give her everything. Be fair and treat her how you want to be treated
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 12:22 AM
1

I agree with all stated more or less. One thing I’d suggest which has helped me and it costs little is yoga. I’m middle of divorce and do yoga almost daily and started a few months ago. You’re focused on breathing, living energy, self love, and then the poses so it’s not like the gym. You wanna be a gym rat rock on but the mental and what not of yoga is mentally therapeutic. Second thing I’ll suggest is read ways of a superior man - twice. Or listen to it. Live that stuff. Third thing. Forgive y…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 07:11 PM
2

I did mine online. They have court packets. Also did the separation of assets and debts at home. We’ve had about 45 minutes in lawyer time and I need to write up a QRDO to transfer some $ from a 401k. The things are possible
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 12:12 PM
1

I’m a veg and make black beans in an insta pot often and sprinkle nutritional yeast on stuff for vitamin Bs. Salads, instant stuff from Trader Joe’s, smoothies if you’re into those are great
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 11:28 AM
1

I feel you should ask yourself about the reasons why you should stay or go. Determine if she can change regarding a negative or another and then decide if you’d like to stay to see what happens. This is how I decided to pull the trigger. Unlike many I’m not in a knock down drag out divorce but a nice chill one that’s only cost me 12 pounds in body weight in 2 months. ;) But you should consider your emotional investment to date, repayment in her efforts, and if you want to stay.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 05:51 AM
2

You came to the wrong sub topic probably. We’re all divorcing already. I tried for years to talk to my stbxw and failed but you never know. You may have successes where we’re failed. 1/ couples counseling. Maybe you’re doing the right things for you but not for her 2/ get a couple of books on communicating with your spouse. Mindful relationship habits is decent. You’ll need skills for next time you’re with someone. Decent read IMO If she’s not into either directed discussions or books though I’d…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 01:28 PM
7

My sex life was crap for 20 years. Then I had enough and said I’m filing. Suddenly she’s aware of me and it’s been great but I’m still going forward w the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 11:53 PM
1

I’m very sorry your divorce is so rough. I’ve had some screaming matches with my stbxw. But we’re buddies at the moment and it’s possible to be friends or at a minimum friendly. I just took mine to a country show, which I hate country, and taking her to a few more. Don’t lose hope while setting few expectations. Luck
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 10:48 PM
1

Are guys different? I think people in their pride want to control things, have options, and be able to execute against those options. What guys fail to do probably when the woman is trying to come back is list pros and cons and weigh risks / impacts.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 12:27 PM
1

Ok man. I’m prior myself and think you’re thinking like a man. Your wife (?) wants a man in her life to give her stability. She wants a man to have a physical connection as I’m guessing you’re both young. She’s not going to take the path you’re offering because she’ll feel like a ho or the world will tell her she’s a ho. Women love sex as much as men but want to have plausibly deniability that they do…they often can’t just say I love sex and tell the world to screw off especially if young. If sh…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 12:20 PM
1

Such as? Just “man cave” search?
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 10:07 PM
1

Used milk crates when I was in the navy. ;) years ago
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 10:01 PM
6

I went to a local show yesterday and spoke to ppl about music, life, bands, the area we live in and got a hug from the random food lady. I love punk shows and that’s the most I’ve spoken to random ppl at one in all my years.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 05:35 PM
2

I recommend ppl do yoga and meditation at home. I also recommend you never turn down an offered hug. I also suggest books and reading at coffee shops and say high to everyone and be open. I’m an extroverted introvert and didn’t talk to ppl. I’m eating my own dog food and doing all this
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 05:33 PM
2

I am thinking same. I like smooth lines and maple vs her washed out country stuff. Think magnolia farms. My styles prob mid century with an ass ton of dive bar embellishments. I’m planning on one bathroom being a Harley black and white biker stuff with a sticker board of my bands I see. Maybe a eat a bag of d***s bath mat. Childish perhaps but I’m 50 and haven’t had a say in my life since I was 19 as I’m prior military. Thx in advance if someone has cool links
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 05:10 PM
1

I found rebuilding to be better at this time. Art of war is to confrontational. Also any of the marriage advice books to learn from
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 11:45 AM
2

Y’all cracking me up. Your divorces must be like a war. Well group hug and shit to us all
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 10:02 PM
3

Dude. Read books on many topics, hang out in coffee shops and say hi to everyone, never turn down a hug or not ask if it feels right. Read the book the ways of a superior man..
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 02:40 PM
2

Sometimes people get scared by commitment. Sometimes people don’t want it but pretend they should - lie to themselves. :) I feel you’ll be ok. ;) I often suggest to people to read the book the ways of a superior man. Once you get over the metaphors it’s pretty decent. Give it a shot
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 01:54 PM
2

When we react out of jealousy it’s not about them it’s about our feelings and potential loss. We imagine they’re gone before they are and react. They were your true feelings but maybe you missed a moment for quiet introspection and could react more calmly. If you had told her once before - no apps then why blow up? Just say I warned you and I’m offended but I want to talk about why you still have them. Or if not interested similar convo but then nope out. No need to yell as that’s your insecurit…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 09:51 AM
1

I feel ya. I let my soon to be X dictate the relationship for years and thought I was simply being supportive. There’s others out there.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 09:45 AM
1

Dude shut your mouth. Don’t put women on a pedestal - you’ll never understand them. That’s why you like them so stop caring, talk to all women that show high interest in you, develop guy shit w guys and go out. Be open and don’t set expectations. You got this my man
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 12:03 PM
4

Don’t play into her games. Women are about stability and if they’re unstable they’ll try to create instability as that’s their mental model or state. You are divorcing for a reason and need to get your head straight. If you want to date then date if not then don’t but don’t let her mess up your mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 11:55 AM
2

Sorry to hear. Try the books the way of a superior man as well as dating essentials for men. I’m not suggesting dating but the books helped me see where I messed up. Maybe you get the same out of them
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 11:49 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter