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artemis286 Archive

View 4 posts and 166 comments by artemis286 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Hey mama. I'm a mom to an extremely high needs 10 month old who has a feeding disorder, I exclusively pump, and have a husband who works and is in school. I'm on that crazy train right with you. I still haven't driven alone with her since she was three months old. The ptsd is too severe. She would scream till she choked and vomited (she has a swallowing disorder). One night I was driving down the highway in the dark as she screamed and I screamed and I held her as she shivered covered in her own…
/r/RedPillWives17/05/20 03:00 AM
2

I have a sewing machine but haven't been able to break into it yet. My spicy girl would never let me now haha! Hopefully one day. And I'm in the US, I'll add thank. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives26/04/20 10:07 PM
8

As someone who is studying to be a therapist and specialize in trauma treatment, I've got to disagree here. First, it's impossible to make accurate blanket statements about abuse. There are some things that tend to be true in a lot of situations, but because abuse is rampant its not possible to say THIS is the single truth that will liberate you from your past. Second, I take serious issue with the term "mistakes" used in this context. There are plenty of abusers who are chameleons. Who blend in…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/20 09:29 PM
3

No, absolutely go to school. Maybe not a PhD if your ultimate goal is to be a SAHM, but up until you are married and ready to have a child, your education and work will be very important. And education will make you a better partner and mother. I have my EMT and RN, plus a certification as a doula and childbirth educator, and am working towards my ibclc certification. All of which came into play during my pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. I've studied child development, psychology, relationship …
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/20 01:05 AM
9

My husband supported me through 5 days of early labor, 12 hours of active labor, and four hours of pushing to get our baby girl who had her arm wrapped up around her shoulder. All unmedicated, at a birth center too. He supported me through each contraction, did hours of counter pressure for my severe back labor, and told me all the while that I could do it. He then caught our baby girl and handed her to me. Then kept her warm and safe on his bare chest while the midwives managed my postpartum he…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/19 05:09 AM
6

I've worked as a lactation consultant and a doula of that interested you! Happy to answer any questions!
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/19 09:20 PM
18

I don't recommend nursing, as a nurse. It's extremely high stress. A bachelor's is required for most high quality work places. You're expected to work the crappiest jobs for the first few years till you get experience. Many good hospitals have started to freeze outside hires who don't have a BSN. You work 12 hours with very few breaks, you're constantly overloaded with too many patients to really adequately care for any of them, and are constantly working between anger patients and apathetic doc…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/19 09:18 PM
9

Yes, if a SAHM has all her kids in school and doesn't work, I would certainly expect that she do the bulk of the housework if she hasn't returned to work/school l. That just makes sense. And family size is something to mention to. I'm in a religious community where large families are the norm, three children is considered an average, and a good portion have 4+. So my experiences are inherently different from the majority of the US population that is having 1-2 children. How much housework a huma…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/19 08:44 AM
15

I think this is highly variable and has way too many factors to pin into a black and white argument. For example, I'm holding my ten week old right now, because she's whimpering in her sleep from her sore legs from her vaccines. She's had eating issues from the start, so I mostly pump around the clock to give her the benefits of breastmilk. So I have to pump, wash all pump parts and bottles, feed her, help her sleep, eat and sleep myself, and somehow manage to squeeze a shower in there. I've pur…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/19 05:03 AM
4

Yes. So I'm actually studying psychology/marriage and family counseling. And I also went through several abusive relationships myself. And honestly, therapy is a tool. And it works great for some, and not for others. The effectiveness of therapy is almost entirely dependent on the relationship and dynamic between the client and the practitioner. You can be the most educated, world renowed therapist, but it your client doesn't click with you, you're useless to them. There are also many different …
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/19 07:49 AM
2

To each their own. One of the things that attracted my husband to me was the fact that I never wore heavy makeup, and only wore a moderate amount for special occasions. On a regular day, it was mascara only, and I often went all natural. I still dressed well, did my hair, and took care of my appearance. But makeup never appealed to me for many reasons. First, I didn't like feeling like I had to "put my face on". I wanted to feel comfortable in my own skin, and it was important to me that the men…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/19 12:02 PM
11

I had a pretty long history of abuse. Once I broke the cycle I wasn't sure I would get married. I just wasn't sure about my ability to heal and have a healthy relationship. I wasn't sure I still had faith that there were good men out there. I'm happily married now for almost two and a half years, and have a two month old baby girl. It's been amazing to function as a team with my husband, to really take care of and love each other, and to be best friends with him as well. I have everything I thou…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 04:19 AM
20

Yes! I'm currently a SAHM to my little newborn baby. But one of the things that really attracted my husband to me is my intelligence and education. I'm a nurse, working on a bachelor's plan for a masters, and have several additional certifications in various specialities (birth work, lactation support, etc.), and I'm 24. I always wanted to be primarily a mother, and to homeschool, but to do that well requires education and life experience. I've been working with kids since I was 12. I've studied…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 08:14 PM
7

I just stepped over the threshold to being a SAHM. I'm actually nursing my six weok old right now haha! Your fears are so real, and our society puts sooo much worth on corporate jobs, salaries, and so on. Something that has helped me is studying child development. Studying the neural connections that are being made when I breastfeed my baby, and the hormones that fire when she touches my skin, and the things she learns as I respond to her cries promptly and with warmth and love. Learning about t…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/19 01:49 AM
21

I just had my first little baby, and it's amazing! It was a hard pregnancy and delivery, but I hold her and couldn't be happier. Start taking a prenatal, fish oil, and vitamin D now. Even adding a calcium magnesium supplement too would be great. Fish oil helps with brain development, and my midwives recommend magnesium and vitamin D to shorten labors. Magnesium also helps prevent muscle cramps and constipation. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. I was healthy, young, and my mother had fa…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/19 12:04 AM
5

I dated horrible, immature, dumpster men as a teen and a very young adult. I was living with a said garbage guy and engaged to be married to him. I had daycare jobs, but nothing special. My parents were always there for me, even though they didn't understand why I kept getting into these abusive relationships. That's a whole other conversation. I eventually pulled myself by the bootstraps and dumped him when I found out he had been cheating pretty much the entire relationship. He was a true soci…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/19 10:44 PM
5

This is wonderful! I always tell people, I make choices for me, and me alone. I'm someone who doesn't struggle with judging (at least, not any more than the next person), but I really have tried to eliminate gossip from my life. Now I can't stand to be around it. I've found that even being around people who constantly tear others down to be emotionally draining. The mindset that I try to have is that I truly have no idea what goes on in the lives, minds, and hearts of others. And I assume that m…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/19 07:17 AM
3

We just used condoms before I got pregnant, I didn't want any artifical hormones in my body after they made me extremely sick in the past. But I've heard great things about the fertility awareness method. It involves using a combination of basal body temperature, cervical position and texture, and cervical mucus all together. The book, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" tells you everything you'd need to know about it! I used those techniques to get pregnant actually, they were more reliable than…
/r/RedPillWives13/07/19 06:50 PM
24

Anatomy lesson time. Hymens come in all shapes and sizes, and some women are born without one. Many women can tear theirs with things like sports or tampons. An "intact" hymen is not an indication of virginity. Bleeding after sex is not an indication of virginity. The hymen can be torn during sex, though it can also just be stretched. Tearing is not necessary, and can be avoided for some women with proper foreplay and lubrication. Women can also experience tearing and bleeding more than once. Va…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 04:13 AM
7

For a good man, cheating isn't an option. If he's truly that hurt over his unsatisfied needs, a good man with integrity would choose divorce. And there is plenty of research that has shown that people cheat even in happy relationships because they enjoy the thrill of it. Often people with addictive personalities, and other kinds of issues. It's not for no reason, it's because they enjoy it. They enjoy the thrill of the chase, the secret keeping, and the forbidden nature of it. They enjoy the exp…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/19 02:53 AM
5

For me personally, no, there isn't a relationship after cheating. I do think that for some couples in some circumstances, it can work. I have seen some couples work it out, and seem okay, at least on the outside. Sometimes severe mental illness was involved, sometimes it was just an emotional affair without actual sex. I have seen couples try very hard to work it out if there would be children involved in a divorce. But for the most part, I've seen it end relationships and marriages. We are reli…
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/19 03:53 PM
11

So my mother struggled with postpartum depression for years that got worse after each child. She honestly didn't like being a mom. I was this incredibly sensitive, expressive, nurturing child, and she was fairly aggressive, cold, and harsh for most of my childhood. I went towards the other end of the spectrum. I had no self esteem, confidence, and couldn't be assertive, even in healthy ways. I became a chronic people pleaser and a doormat, and was bullied, and sucked into abusive relationship cy…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/19 03:58 PM
2

I've always known I wanted to be a mother. And I was a raised by a mom who struggled with PPD and motherhood in general, so it wasn't necessarily due to exposure to warm mothering. I would get up during the night to tend to my dolls. I always adored children, and almost every job I ever had in high school and college involved working with infants or children. Being around them just filled me with joy. Even the difficult ones. I worked with children in the foster system in a group home. So saying…
/r/RedPillWives03/07/19 03:21 AM
17

Other than what has already been shared, something that really drew me to my now husband was his sense of capability and initiative. Even with small things. For example, we went to the same church ward together for young adults. I was supposed to run a simple activity that night. We were dating at this point, and had driven to the church together. I started not feeling well, so without any question or being asked, he completely took over and ran the activity himself. He didn't need to be asked, …
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/19 09:22 PM
11

I love this! I saw many women deal with and excuse distant behavior. It's so true, if a man truly wants you, his actions will tell you so. It was night and day between the guy I dated before my husband and dating my now husband. First guy was always just "too busy", wouldn't make any kind of extraordinary effort to see me, and would often break commitments. But he would say he "loved" me and wanted to marry me. His actions never lined up with his words. My husband, on the other hand, was sitting…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/19 09:10 PM
–

I think this is totally normal! I've always wanted to be a SAHM/SAHW. During my marriage I was in either in school and taking care of the home, or working part time and taking care of the home. It was important to me that I was able able to keep our apartment clean and organized, make healthy homemade food, have time for bargain shopping and doing things like picking up from a produce co-op, exercise, and self-care. I'm almost finished with my bachelor's, have my associates in nursing, am a doul…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/19 02:59 AM
5

I was put on the pill for suspected endometriosis. And I will never take hormonal birth control again. Not only did it not help, it started to make it worse. I was put on a higher dose over the course of a few years, and eventually I was dysfunctional. I was having severe pain all the time, regardless of whether or not I was bleeding. Like breaking into a cold sweat, dropping blood pressure, can't even cry it hurts so bad pain. Prescription ibeprophan would only take the edge off on bad days. Co…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 08:12 PM
26

You can disagree without being disagreeable. Some things that work for me include focusing on the effect of the behavior, not accusing the person themselves. For example, "You didn't turn in a work project on time, so the whole team suffered." Versus: "When the project didn't get turned in, it affected the whole team." I-statements can be very effective too. You focus more on how a particular action has effected you and caused you to feel, rather than blaming, accusing, and assigning intention t…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 04:02 PM
6

We personally want kids, I'm actually extremely pregnant with our first at the moment. But I've seen many reasons for not wanting children. Many are concerned about the economic and financial issues, and for some they have concerns about overpopulation. But I've actually delved into the research about that, and the current falling birth rates in developed countries actually spell big problems down the road since almost all have fallen far below replacement levels... But that's a whole other conv…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/19 10:59 PM
2

Oh my gosh that sounds awful and deeply frustrating! A temporary solution would be some skin to skin time. The same phrase used with babies haha! But I've seen the studies. Skin to skin contact, even without sex, between two partners raises those oxytocin levels and increases feelings of well being. And it's often neglected, particularly in stressful and busy times. Some nice naked snuggles would probably do the trick too!
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/19 03:18 PM
2

It's a book actually, but you can totally take free quizzes online! So you can understand how each of you prefer to recieve love, and how you prefer to communicate love. For example, my husband receives love most highly through acts of service and physical touch. I tend to communicate love through words of affirmation and physical touch. Though he appreciates my affectionate words, I've learned that a homemade meal and back massage really put him on cloud nine and make him feel very loved and ap…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/19 03:15 PM
7

I can be a bit of a chronic apologizer. Especially being pregnant right now. Regardless of the fact that we are both usually very quick to apologize, I have a harder time moving on than my husband does. Something that helps me is doing something nice for my husband! Even though he doesn't expect it, taking time to maybe give him a massage, or prep an extra nice dinner, can make me feel better. One of his love languages is acts service, so it's one of the ways I communicate love and affection to …
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/19 06:20 AM
1

Oh my goodness that sounds horrible, I so sorry for all the suffering you've gone through! I've been really blessed with excellent physical therapy and chiropractic care, so the SPD has been very well managed, and my hips and lower back and have been cared for. I started going back to PT this week, and we've been able to take the pain down to a mininal level again, even though baby is huge at this point. And I'll be going back after birth for more support. I got plantar faciitis for the first ti…
/r/RedPillWives20/06/19 05:15 PM
2

I don't think that's the case at all. As the OP shared, there are many other facets to a healthy, thriving relationship aside from children. So I just addressed one dimension, and only for those men and women who desire that particular dimension. There are plenty of men, and women, that don't want children or don't feel that them being their biological children is as important. Adoption is a beautiful option for many families, and it's something we would have happily pursued if we had been unabl…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/19 02:04 PM
36

Yes to all of this! I would add only one thing, a wife can provide the opportunity to be a father and create a family. My husband always knew he wanted children, and he's told me one of the traits that attracted him to me was that he felt I would make an excellent mother. Which obviously encompasses a ton of traits within it. But being able to make a house a home, and valuing that work, was important to him. He wanted someone who wanted children, valued them, was willing to sacrifice for their w…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/19 10:59 PM
49

It means soo much to my husband when I make breakfast and his lunch! I'm 36 weeks pregnant now, so it's not always happening as much as I'd like. And on the days I'm not well enough to get up and out of bed and handle food smells, it is defintely missed. And like you, it takes only a few minutes. But it really makes his whole day better. Homemade dinner really means a lot to him as well. He's capable of cooking, but he loves my food so much more haha! Even simple things around the house, like or…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/19 06:27 AM
3

Just popping in to offer a probably very different time line than most. My husband and I were engaged after two months of dating (seeing each other every day, granted), and married six months later when we were both 22. We've been married for over two years now, and are pregnant with our first! We are religious, so no sex or cohabitation before marriage, so that tends to speed things up. And the only reason we had such a comparatively long engagement was because of my nursing school schedule, we…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/19 04:22 AM
7

When it comes to diet, I highly recommend Micheal Pollen! He has two wonderful documentaries on Netflix called, "In Defense of Food", and "Cooked". His recommendations are incredibly simple. Whole food, in moderate portions, and mostly plant based. He argues not only for the health benefits of home cooking, but the lost cultural, social, and emotional benefits as well. He really digs into how little time we spend on food preparation, the explosive growth of the convenience and processed food ind…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/19 07:51 PM
2

So, at least when I was dating, I defintely did try to leave room for the man to take the lead and not dominate the conversation. But, by the same token, I also didn't want to just respond only and expect them to generate all the conversation, but someone who could intelligently contribute to the conversation in my own right. I prided myself on being kind, graceful, and intelligent as a partner. So, in my opinion, I would not lead in with such a specific question. Digging about a specific number…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/19 06:54 PM
5

I appreciated your balanced perspective! And as an assault victim myself, I understand how people can become so passionate and aggressive about consent. And I do think, as I experienced, that rape can happen in the context of an abusive relationship, and/or under severe pressure, grooming, and coercion, and the victim may freeze and be too scared to stop it. But that situation is obviously different from two drunk people fooling around which led to sex, in which I do believe consent is implied. …
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/19 05:53 PM
3

I did some online dating, so I have a bit of experience. My general process with online dating was matching, talking through the app for a brief period of time, and scheduling some kind of video chat (especially for people who didn't leave near me), or an in-person date. Sometimes I opted for a video chat before an in person date as a safety precaution, to make sure their face actually matched their profile, and get just a little exposure to them to see if an in-person date would even be a good …
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/19 08:11 PM
1

Well I would ask, how are you usually getting dates and meeting people? What's your typical process at the moment?
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/19 07:34 PM
8

I wouldn't be afraid to be upfront about it. I'm religious, and both me and my husband waited till marriage. And have an amazing sex life, might I add. The few times I dated outside of my religion, I was fairly upfront about it. And I was also upfront with men within my religion that I was dating for marriage, not just to mess around. I didn't want to waste either of our time, and save us both a headache. And honestly, I got nothing but postive responses. Men were very appreciative that I was st…
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/19 05:02 PM
5

I don't think you're being unreasonable whatsoever. Every relationship dynamic is different of course, and I do think it's possible he's making attempts at starting up something, and perhaps not realizing how bad those comments are making you feel. But you are not unreasonable at all for not wanting those comments, and those comments not making you feel good. We are religious mind you, so I know that plays into our views about sexuality, but we believe in total loyalty within marriage. That does…
/r/RedPillWives07/06/19 03:17 PM
3

Honestly, not every man or captain wants to control the finances. My husband would rather die. We do share all bank accounts, and do weekly financial planning. So all financial decisions are made together, and he knows what the budget is and helps make it. But when it comes to paperwork, remembering to pay bills on time, and checking over the accounts to make sure everything is within the budget, I do all that. The last thing he wants to do when he comes home from a long day at work is sit at th…
/r/RedPillWives06/06/19 09:11 PM
2

I'm 24 now, so it was less than three years ago haha! And we had kind of an odd story, and it has to be said that be both came from that conservative religious community. So we both had the same standards of no sex before marriage, and engagements generally happened more quickly than in the general population. Just as a caveat before anyone compares my time line haha! But we had been friends for about eight months before we went on our first real date. We had both dated other people, and ran in …
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/19 01:46 AM
3

I never insist on paying if someone is trying to do something kind for me. Really regardless of who it is. I let them do something kind, and instead focus on being very grateful for it! Unless it's some really strange, uncomfortable situation or something like that. When I was dating, I was always ready to pay for myself, but I took the lead from the guy. It also depends how the date was set up. Did he plan the date and take me out? If so, I would usually expect that he would pay, but I would be…
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/19 01:17 AM
4

Being in the third trimester of my first pregnancy, this is something I've had to work on. As everything gets bigger and I can do less and less, focusing on nurturing my own mindset has been huge so I don't turn into too much of a weepy mess haha! Taking time for myself is huge. Right now, between my part time work at home and online classes, homemaking, and taking care of this pregnant body, I can feel that there's no time or energy left in the day. But taking some time to read some uplifting m…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/19 05:20 PM
3

I appreciate this perspective, as someone who is about to become a SAHM after years of planning. And as someone who makes many choices and sacrifices to be home, and works hard in other ways, like preparing for a homestead and homeschool in order to give us more freedom. But I've got some issues with this. I went through nursing school, am a doula and lactation consultant, am scheduled for yoga teacher training next summer, and am nearly done with my bachelor's degree. So it's not like I've just…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/19 05:14 AM
6

So I'm 32 weeks with my first, I'd love to share what I've been doing during pregnancy and what I hope to do after! I think the biggest thing is schedule simplification and saying no. For me at least, there isn't enough time an energy in the day to work full time, have hobbies, get enough sleep, make homemade food, read, exercise, go tochurch meetings, get outside, and somehow take care of either my pregnant body or a baby. So I currently take classes online and do some very part time work at ho…
/r/RedPillWives22/05/19 08:32 PM
4

I agree! I just sometimes got the reaction along the lines of, "What do you mean you've been bullied?! But you're so [insert positive adjective here]!" Or people that seemingly took the treatment I received not as seriously as they did others. My parents didn't, they always said how they just didn't understand how I could struggle with my self esteem. But, as you said, the hurt is universally experienced regardless of what you look like or who you are!
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/19 01:24 AM
16

I was never in the expected category. I've always been pretty, I never really struggled with my appearance. But I was kind, soft-spoken, sensitive, happy, gullible... And was a victim of mean girls most of my life. The first one was my sister, and that extended to my social interactions outside my family too. I struggled to make female friends, and for a long time I blamed and isolated myself. It wasn't till years later that I realized those behaviors were coming from a place of jealousy and ins…
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/19 12:24 AM
5

My husband and I were both 22, and are 24 with our first little one on the way. My advice would be to enjoy it! Never stop striving for improvement in yourself and your relationship :)
/r/RedPillWives17/05/19 03:19 AM
7

You're welcome, and it's okay, happy to help! And yes, his advice is beautifully simple, and doesn't advocate for any fad diets. Just moderation, as many whole foods as possible, and mostly plant based. He has two amazing documentaries on Netflix, "In Defense of Food", and "Cooked", both of which are very enjoyable and educational, and great starting places! And when it comes to products, my advice is very simple. If you look on the label and don't know what ingredients are in it, it probably sh…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/19 03:56 AM
35

So I am a nurse, and I would argue it's not quite that simple for men. There is a wide range of masculine features, and while yes men can build muscle more easily than a woman could, not every man is the same. You can't take just any man and tell them to work out and they will look like a male supermodel. Men are also limited by bone structure, height, muscle and fat distribution, and genetics. Though I do agree that in general, as with most things, women's biology is more complicated. We have a…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/19 03:15 AM
1

I sincerely loved reading your post! I'm in the third trimester with our first, and right on cusp of being a SAHM and homemaker. I've been a full time online student and homemaker while pregnant, so it won't be a huge adjustment other than taking a break from school to focus on baby. And as others have said, of course it's risky. Of course your man could walk in the door and declare that he wants a divorce with no prior warning or indication. But honestly... Living life in constant fear of the w…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/19 04:32 AM
1

Well before I delete this fairly silly comment thread, I would politely point out that I was responding to and agreeing with another user. I never actually directly engaged you, you made the choice to respond to my thoughts. And now you turn around and say I'm the one that "jumped" on you for just politely agreeing with another user's thoughts? I may be pregnant, but that doesn't mean I can be manipulated or that I'm not aware of my own choices and intentions. Peace.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 09:44 PM
1

Heh, I'm a little too pregnant and too tired for circular anonymous internet debates, I probably should have just kept to myself. I've seen the other comments, and I think we will just agree to disagree. I think the original comment was fine, that person clearly feels its helped them in their personal life. But I can understand if you don't agree. I'm going to take a nap now 😂
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 04:08 PM
1

I've defintely met those Christians too, and I'm not denying that they exist for sure. I'll see plenty this Sunday haha! But claiming an entire group is one or another based on purely personal experience just isn't fair, in my opinion. I've also met plenty of people who identify as athiest, pagan, Wiccan, Buddhist, and so on, and do it just for the image on their Instagram and are totally crap people in real life. Or who claim that they are athiest and proudly profess that they don't need any ki…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 03:56 PM
1

I very much agree with this! The particular branch of Christianity I ascribe to specifically teaches that if you are doing anything in a "checklist" mindset, or in attempt to "make deposits into a Heavenly bank account" you are 100% doing it wrong, and those good deeds will not guarantee you anything. We are taught that a mighty change of heart is required, being truly converted, and being truly Christlike and loving and serving others, is what brings us joy in this life and the next, and it tak…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 03:38 PM
7

And I agree! And I would even go so far as to say that the "frumpy" issue is more of a mentality than a physical thing. But by focusing on and caring for your body you are naturally fighting that. I see the frumpy issue as combination of a lack of self care, self nurture, poor mental and physical health, and trying to do too much at once. And I do believe that we as women can have control over that, for the most part, aside from a true medical issue like PPD and things like that. But honestly, e…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 07:34 PM
24

So I am a nurse and a doula, not a doctor of course, but I would like to add a few points to this. One, most the research shows that the biggest factor determining whether or not you get stretch marks is genetics. Not creams, not fitness, but genetics. Sorry, it's just a personal pet peeve when someone goes around saying they got no stretch marks because xyz, when it's most likely just genetics. On the other hand, gaining excessive weight very quickly will give anyone's skin stretch marks regard…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 07:10 PM
1

It sounds like there is a major communication breakdown here, that really would be helpful if it could be addressed. Being vulnerable and trying to express your emotions and being met with frustration, anger, and blame would turn anyone away from communicating and opening up. I cna understand with his history why that would be his natural reaction, but getting angry at someone for having emotions is not healthy. Whether that be a friend, family member, child, or spouse. Emotional intimacy is ext…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/19 02:38 AM
20

I do agree with this! I have to say though, I'm so grateful that I can go to a birth center staffed by all women, or a female doctor or therapist when I need to. I'm grateful I can go get a massage from a female massage therapist, or get a female doula or lactation consultant. But those are clearly all very feminine type jobs, and jobs that men wouldn't want on the whole, or at least nearly as much as women seem to (minus massage therapist and psychotherapist). And most of those jobs come with p…
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/19 05:52 PM
1

I think meals are so helpful! And I think other helpful things can include doing house chores like laundry and dishes. Or being willing to run an errand to the store, or pick up groceries. As well as just being present and another adult to talk to. Women who transitioned from working full time to suddenly being at home can struggle with the lack of adult contact. So just coming by and being present and providing company and conversation, as well as food and help around the house are all pretty w…
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/19 05:24 PM
5

I studied psychology and communication. Reading some of Dr. John Gottman's books would be great, and anything similar. Understanding how you communicate, and how to improve your communication, is priceless. I took care of my health, and now that I'm pregnant I'm so glad I did. I have a history of taking care of my body, which I do believe has contributed to this healthy pregnancy. In addition, I read about birth, breastfeeding, and parenting. I was a doula and training to be a lactation consulta…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 02:43 AM
11

Jeez, you've had a pretty bad sampling. I'm pregnant with our first, and have been a full time student till the last trimester. I always had a goal of being a SAHM. But I also have my two year nursing degree, am certified as a doula and a lactation consultant, am wrapping up my bachelor's degree, and read more books than most other people I know. I have goals of learning how to homestead, doing yoga teacher training, going to graduate school, homeschooling out littles (which has involved SO much…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 02:24 AM
3

So I normally dated up by 2-3 years. The relationship before the one with my husband, there was a ten year gap. I always planned to date and marry someone older for all the obvious reasons of more maturity, more set up in their life, and so on. I've always been incredibly mature for my age, but honestly for me, that large of a gap didn't work. Granted, we also weren't compatible in other ways, so I can't totally pin it on the age gap. But, I found we had difficulty relating in some ways, because…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/19 12:35 AM
10

We just hit the third trimester with our first baby, a little girl! Aside from SPD, which has been successfully treated, it's been a healthy pregnancy and we are on track to deliver at our chosen birth center. It's getting close and very exciting!
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/19 01:45 PM
6

I also adore cooking. The kitchen is one of my zen places. I tend to have a bit of a hummingbird mind, constantly going from thing to thing. But cooking and yoga both bring me right to the present, and are incredibly meditative for me. I also just love good, homemade food! And acts of service is one of my husband's love languages, and having food made for him really puts him on cloud nine. He's totally capable of cooking for himself, but me taking the time and effort to lovingly prepare a homema…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/19 03:12 PM
5

Eh, I'm studying the sociology, psychology, and cultural/historical changes in marriage as part of my degree, and I'm not really convinced that this is a major reason for divorce. Or at least, the root reason. From what I've seen and studied, communication issues are the number one cause, with financial issues and sex being close behind. But withdrawing and no longer trying in a marriage seems like more of a symptom of a deeper issue, than an issue within itself. Sure, there are those who only w…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/19 03:02 PM
5

I couldn't agree more! While my husband was on a religious mission he had to iron his clothes, cook for himself, maintain the apartment with his roommates, and even had to wash his clothes by hand because it was a developing country. I do most of that now, but when I've been unable because of pregnancy issues, he's been able to take care of us and even make us dinner just fine. We feel that the push for more and more academics have been a contributing factor. Kids are going to coding camps, danc…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/19 08:14 PM
1

No I did not, and I sincerely wished that I did. I didn't have any close friends who were already nurses, I was so young when I entered the program, I was only 20 when I got accepted. I didn't get exposed to the real nature of working inside a hospital system, and I feel that if I had, I wouldn't have gone into nursing. I would have maybe done massage therapy, or something else that actually jived with my personality, skills, and strengths much more. And I don't think your plan is stupid! I have…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/19 05:20 PM
1

I agree with the other response, it sounds like you really love radiation therapy and are excited about the feild! I would say cut the work hours down, and/or see if you can find a job that isn't so dreadful. I worked as a nanny through college, making anywhere from $10-$15 an hour in cash. So the money was good, but the work was amazing. I worked with littles whose mom's worked from home, or had some appointments or classes during the week. I got to practice mothering skills, bond with some ado…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/19 04:57 PM
19

I legitimately love cooking. I have a few recipes I've created myself, and make several other very labor intensive meals. I say that my kitchen is my zen place, and all I think about when I'm cooking is being right there in the present. It's highly meditative for me! I enjoy baking as all, and bake bread frequently, and have even tried my hand at sourdough a few times. Even within my conservative religious circle, these skills are dying. I come from a religion the replaces a high priority on mar…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/19 02:27 PM
2

There are so many considerations when deciding whether or not college is right for you! As a background, I'm 24, married, and expecting our first with plans to be mostly a SAHM. I also have a two year degree in nursing, am working towards my bachelor's degree online, and have several professional certifications (doula, and lactation consultant). The first consideration is why radiation therapy? Does it interest you, and bring you some kind of fulfillment? Or is it just a means to an end to get a…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/19 03:26 PM
13

I also had a rough childhood with my parents, for many reasons. In their hearts they did love me, and I have a good relationship with them now, but for many years it was not so. In addition, I also had several abusive relationships at a young age. I also had a very anxious attachment style, and it did affect my dating life in a major way for a long time. First I would say, congratulations on recognizing this! That's pretty major. Many people go through their lives without ever looking within and…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/19 01:15 PM
10

You've said a few things about this chronic illness that make me think it's part of the issue. You say it's a big part of your life, and impacts your life signifigantly, but you also don't have a diagnosis, or know anything about it. That can be extremely overwhelming to deal with individually, and in a relationship. If I had to guess, without any more information, perhaps these men are becoming overwhelmed with the concept of dealing with it long term. In all honesty. I also dated with a chroni…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/19 12:51 PM
2

That's a tricky one! I do agree that most men who are interested in waiting generally come from a religious background, and most commonly a Christian one, at least where I've been in the US. But at the same time, interfaith marriages are hugely on the rise, and are actually more common than interracial marriages, for comparison. If you don't mind me asking, what belief system do you identify with? But I do know it's not only Christianity. And in our particular Christian belief system, if my husb…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/19 03:00 PM
13

Communication! I highly recommend the book "Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work" by Dr. John Gottman. He has done extensive research on communication and divorce, and breaks down common communication pitfalls that can make or break a marriage. He makes it easy to understand and apply. Learning to communicate effectively, kindly, and respectfully, while making the other person feel listened to and respected is an invaluable skill! And do it now before any major issues come up, as preventati…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/19 12:59 AM
4

Oh! I did for willing sex. I was assaulted at a young age, but my husband was the first willing encounter. So we both considered it my first time, and he waited for marriage as well. And to add, we have a great sex life haha! Don't believe any stereotypes about those who wait. We are religious, and many in my religious social circle also waited, and have happy and fulfilling marriages! And as a result, many in that same circle also tend it have quick engagements. It's totally culturally normal t…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 09:52 PM
1

Wait till marriage for what? And thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 09:25 PM
9

I don't think it's futile, but I do think it's important to decide what is the higher priority for your life. I knew that motherhood was a calling for me, and that being married was very important. So I put a high priority on improving myself and seriously dating men who were also interested in marriage and family. I'm 24, pregnant with our first, and completing my undergraduate degree at the same time. For me, that meant that I knowingly sacrificed some things, for things that I wanted much mor…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 08:15 PM
4

I'm a homemaker/full time online student right now, and pregnant with our first. So I actually do all the financial management in our home, per my husband's request. Sitting and pouring over budgets, bills, bank accounts, etc., makes him want to die. He brings in most of the income, and I get about half of that each month in grants when I'm in school full time. So I'm the one that makes the spreadsheets, plans out ahead, and gets everything organized. Then we sit down together and make sure we a…
/r/RedPillWives13/04/19 10:23 PM
9

So I got married at 22, and many in my religious social circle got married at similar ages. So we knew that our spouses wouldn't have everything together, we were all too young! But I personally had a few things that were very important to me. First off, I (eventually learned) to only offer that support to a man who had demonstrated he was worthy of it. I'm a very kind, loving, loyal person, and had a tendency to want to give the best of myself to men who weren't worthy of it. I did have to lear…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/19 02:52 PM
16

Defintely find some new friends and support networks! I'm in my early 20s, and I defintely remember, and still experience, many of the cultural and societal pressures you are describing. It can be seriously overwhelming and isolating. My recommendation, and how I've helped myself, is surrounding myself with things that uplift me towards my goals. Books, podcasts, Facebook groups, classes, friends, workshops, organizations, anything! Things that honor feminity and womanhood, and make me feel valu…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/19 12:39 AM
35

I never, ever thought that being a SAHM would be easy. And I've never met a woman who thought that motherhood would be easy. Surely I've met many who were excited, who loved children, and felt fulfilled by nurturing them. That doesn't negate the stress, or mean that they expected to live in some fantasy world. Perhaps enthusiasm and feeling called to motherhood is being misunderstood? Because I was so thrilled to get pregnant, and I am so happy to be pregnant, but that doesn't change the fact th…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 06:31 AM
23

I've read the book, and it seems you've gotten the wrong idea. Granted, we don't agree with or follow everything, but the basic mental attitude applies. The whole idea is if you stop trying to control, micromanage, and criticize your husband, and actually demonstrate some trust in his abilities, you give him the chance to improve and actually meet your expectations all on his own, and even exceed them. It's choosing to see the good instead of constantly focusing on what he lacks. Because no one …
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/19 02:37 PM
22

We have more of the growth mindset attitude in our family. So I defintely compliment him on his looks (with words and actions), but I also make sure to put a large focus on things he can control and the choices he makes. Such as the effort he puts into being a provider, his efforts in communicating so clearly and kindly with me, all the help he gives me while I've been pregnant, his choices to be honest and open, and his efforts to be affectionate with me and speak my love language. I do believe…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/19 10:42 PM
4

I love making friends, and I love reading!! I just started "Simple Abundance", which was actually recommended on this sub, and I'm loving it so much!
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/19 01:25 AM
2

I am a perfectionist in recovery. It's something I still work through, but the process started shortly before I met my now husband. I highly recommend good CBT therapy or workbooks specifically for anxiety/perfectionism, as another user suggested. Working through where these issues originate, and where they are happening in your daily life is extremely helpful to start undoing those toxic thought processes. Another great concept is the idea of the growth mindset, and a fixed mindset is exactly w…
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/19 05:02 AM
6

Heh this may not be great advice, but when I was dating, I was very straightforward. I was dating in my own religious community, so everyone I dated came from at least the same religious culture, and most felt that the purpose of dating was for marriage. So because we were all generally on the same page with that, it made it easier to just be up front. I dated a few guys in my ward and had some poor experiences, and was really just done wasting my time. From then on, I just stated what I was loo…
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/19 02:52 PM
6

There are so many factors that contribute to how this goes, but my husband and I have lived with both sets of parents at one point. We got married at barely 22, and many in my religion get married before 25. So honestly, in our culture, living with family is pretty dang normal. It's just what you do when you get married that young. Many parents feel it's part of them helping their children get the best start in life. Almost every couple I know lived with family at one point or another. For the f…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/19 05:43 PM
2

Love this! I'm a doula and we are planning to have this baby at a beautiful birth center with midwives. After doing a rotation through L&D as a nurse, I knew I wouldn't want to be there unless it was truly medically necessary. That one rotation was so bad, it also heavily contributed to me leaving nursing all together.
/r/RedPillWives23/03/19 03:39 PM
3

I know nothing about the antivax movement in the UK. But I know for sure that here in the US it has spread to more and more of your "average" families. Like there are those families who wear crystals and claim that their essential oils can cure cancer, and you can usually take a look at them and guess that they are antivax. But at least where I live, it's spread to more of your average families. Families that you would never guess by looking at or interacting with that they don't vaccinate. It m…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/19 01:00 AM
3

Yes, a lot of people who participate in some form of alternative schooling also are antivax. But honestly where we live, the public schools aren't much better. We have public schools in my state with 60% vaccination rates, and many places we are interested in living in are considered antivax hotspots. And even worse, there is a vicious antivax movement within my religious culture. So honestly we've just had to accept that unless we keep our children away from the entire world, this is the new re…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/19 12:58 AM
2

Oh thanks! Yeah, it's hard since so many that have similar interests are antivax. We are so 100% provaccination. It sucks feeling like I need to "screen" my friends, but it's getting to that point!
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 05:38 PM
2

That's been the hardest thing for me! Is not really being able to find kindred spirits around me. I'm hoping that once we attend church on campus, with so many young families, we may find some! But that's been the most difficult part. Especially while I'm still pregnant and we don't have children yet, it can be isolating at times. We don't fit into any particular mold, and I find sometimes people don't know what to do about that haha!
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 03:32 PM
6

We are very similar! I love being able to have access to so many resources, and being able to pick and choose what works for us! I love my homemaking, and we are also very religious too. But we mix that with also being hippies, and planning on a birth center birth, extended breastfeeding, bedsharing, natural and gentle parenting, and so on, which my husband fully supports. But we also intend on fully vaccinating. Which makes us complete unicorns haha! I love Montessori! I actually got offered a …
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 11:51 AM
3

It's a great option! In home daycare didn't necessarily appeal to me, since those are usually open from 6am-6pm. Preschool usually only runs for 2-4 hours a day, so that seemed much more managible. But still a great hourly rate for your work! And that's an absolutely excellent point! One of my favorite books is, "The Millionaire Next Door". And the authors did extensive research on American millionaires, and found that a huge percentage of them were actually blue-collar business owners with mode…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/19 08:47 PM
5

Firstly I need to bring up that there is more than one kind of high-value man. If the only kind of acceptable marriage material to someone is a doctor, than yes, they should probably find a way to put themselves in circles with med students or physicians. But the foundational character traits of honesty, integrity, desiring to be a provider, work ethic, virtuous masculinity, communication skills, and so on, can be found in many career areas. I also adore working with children. I went into nursin…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/19 07:17 PM
6

This is a very real struggle. I'm also pregnant, and I stay home while attending school full-time online. Before pregnancy, it was easy to balance schoolwork, housework, meals, grocery shopping, and so on. But I had morning sickness all the way through 20 weeks, and could no longer manage all of the housework and keep up on schoolwork. My husband has had to help me a lot. Granted, winter is the off season for his work, so his hours haven't been that long. But even before they went down, he was s…
/r/RedPillWives14/03/19 04:02 PM
8

I completely agree with this. In the relationship before I met my husband, I hadn't learned this yet. Fell for a classic manipulator, who would claim that he loved me and that we would get married, but then played emotional hot and cold and hard to get. It put me in a constant state of unsurety and anxiety. The night I first kissed my now husband couldn't have been more different. Neither of us were ready to jump into an exclusive relationship right away (we both belong to the same religion, and…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/19 04:13 PM
2

You're so welcome! And it is getting harder and harder. Even when dating within my fairly traditional religious circle, I met many young men who weren't that way. But I also met a good many who were, and at young ages, in their early 20's! So they absolutely do exist, but they are getting more rare. Obviously so are women who prefer those traditional attitudes. But don't give up hope!
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/19 05:55 PM
4

I think it's impossible to make generalizations. Because this is a nature versus nurture type of conversation, and we know, it's both. So while men and women may be born with certain inclinations, how they are raised and socialized can have a huge effect on how those inclinations turn out and how they express themselves, if at all. I think the issue is using the word "naturally". I would phrase it as some men certainly do feel the urge to protect and provide. But I've also met many men who don't…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/19 04:43 PM
1

Defintely give yourself a lot of space and leeway! Also, I'd suggest, if you haven't already, discuss plans with your husband ahead of time. I'm almost 11 weeks with our first, and no one can really plan for how pregnancy will affect them. For example, all cooking food smells smell absolutely horrible to me and send me to the bathroom gagging. I can't control it, and there's nothing I can really do. I'm so sensitive that when my husband cooks he has to then change his shirt, put on deodorant, an…
/r/RedPillWives22/12/18 04:01 PM
5

I would also distinguish between work ethic and a desire for a career, particularly a high powered career. I'm a married young woman, and I'm pregnant with our first child right now. But before that, I had gone through nursing school, started on a bachelor's degree, gotten several professional certifications, worked several different career and non-career type jobs, worked with children extensively, and developed skills such as cooking, organizing, music, and art. Before we were in a place to ha…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/18 02:22 AM
2

Oh my gosh that's SO hard! I've had family and friends with HG, it's absolutely brutal. It's a whole different beast than regular morning sickness, so most of that advice totally goes out the window haha! I'm so glad the meds are helping a little bit, and I hope it continues to improve!!
/r/RedPillWives06/12/18 05:48 PM
2

I SO empathize with this! I'm currently 8+3, and weeks 5-7 were the hardest morning sickness wise. It's changed now, and is a bit easier to handle, but it's still hard overall. I'm a housewife and full time college student online, and before getting pregnant I did 90% of the cleaning, and the virtually all of the cooking and errands. We don't have the money to hire help. Now, my husband is very educated about pregnancy and childbirth, he's taught childbirth classes with me. So he is fully unders…
/r/RedPillWives06/12/18 05:22 PM
1

The Babybumps subreddit, and Tryingforababy would both be helpful! I've seen this question asked alot in several Facebook groups I'm in, and the answers vary wildly, especially if hormonal BC is involved. For some, it was immediate. Others, it took months to get a regular cycle back. It took my husband and I three cycles, but I had been off hormonal BC for two years prior to us starting to try. It made me horrendously sick!
/r/RedPillWives06/12/18 05:14 PM
1

This is wonderful advice! I also completely agree with the comments about the 85k earning potential. Studies have consistently shown that anything over 60k, for a family of 4, no longer has any bearing whatsoever on happiness or satisfaction levels. I understand that clearly some people have certain lifestyles that they are accustomed to, and they have the right to search out for that. But it does come off and very snobbish, and I agree that if that is truly so important you need to be completel…
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/18 05:52 PM
32

Patience and kindness as well. Everyone has weak moments and struggles, but I would never spend my life walking on egg shells around a aggressive temper. Strong work ethic, marriage and family minded, and enjoying children are all big ones for me. Lastly, communication. I've seen marriages where either spouse (or both) did not have ANY positive communication skills, and it was a very tough and long road. I expected the men that I dated to have some basic communication skills. To be able to calml…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/18 12:19 AM
3

I agree that "ow" is a great code word so to use, and when he trusts that you'll communicate when something doesn't feel good, he can relax. I personally feel that self control is a muscle, not a tank with limited supply. Generally, I see that as adults and children exercise self control, it gets easier. Of course, that's different from self deprivation or not getting what we need. And I feel it's also different from suppressing emotions in an unhealthy way. In a healthy communication pattern, e…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/18 06:44 PM
5

My husband is a carpenter, and has the carpenter muscles to go with it. On top of being a very physically playful person! And I'm pregnant right now, so I'm especially sensitive. But I'm normally quite sensitive anyways, and he sometimes plays too hard and I get hurt. Nothing lasting, just a bit of a sting. And he feels awful whenever it happens, and is so apologetic. But we love to play, tickle, and wrestle with each other. It's a big part of our relationship. I've never once seen it as a red f…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/18 04:33 PM
1

Well, in my opinion, you have a few options. You could pursue men who have similar diets as you, but that's no guarantee that their stance won't change. Or you can prepare meals with meat, only tasting small amounts to check. I cant eat pasteurized milk products, but I still make homemade Mac and cheese for my husband. I just take the tiniest little taste to make sure it's on track. Or you can reconsider your diet. Honestly, as a health professional, I don't recommend veganism. Especially if you…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/18 08:42 PM
7

Tl;dr: I knew my husband was interested in marriage because I asked him and we talked about it. Plain and simple. My husband and I started dating when we were 21, and got married when we were 22. We were both from the same religious community, and were pretty open with our intentions. We both expressed that marriage was the goal of dating, and that we would both like to be married in the next few years. So honestly, we were pretty open about it from the get go. We didn't demand commitment immedi…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 05:47 PM
1

To be honest, I think focusing too much in SMV in postpartum will be a recipe for failure, and maybe depression. You will have a new life to maintain, and to be honest, someone obsessing of their body constantly versus just trying to take care of themselves and their new baby would be unattractive, at least to my husband. What you do during pregnancy will have a great impact on how you recover. Working out and eating healthy, and gaining only a healthy amount of weight, with a toned body to supp…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 03:45 PM
6

Also, speaking from a biological perspective, remember that girls tend to hit puberty and growth spurts earlier than boys. Their frontal cortex (decision making, judgment, critical thinking) also develops later. So please remember that the boys in high school generally do not know what they want, and what they think they want or need now will almost always change. Girls tend to be finished growing height wise by 18, maybe 19 at the latest, usually a few years earlier. Their hips and breasts may …
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/18 02:12 PM
3

We are only 23, and he was going into graphic/web design before carpentry. He's always been great with his hands and had an eye for design his whole life, hence the previous choice. But what he found was that the artistic and craftsman satisfaction did not transfer to the digital world. He was great at it, but hated sitting in front of a computer. He's always been mechanically minded and extremely handy as well as energetic, we just moved to a new state a few weeks ago and within a week he had a…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/18 09:11 PM
2

Greenhouses are awesome! I'd highly recommend checking out the "Back to Eden Method" gardening documentary on YouTube. It very much simplifies the gardening process! That's why running preschool or other children's classes out of my home appealed to me more than daycare. Daycare runs from 6am-6pm at least, but preschool classes are usually only 2-3 hours. I'm also musical, and have considered doing group music classes or children's gardening classes out of my home. It would be more when my kids …
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/18 05:08 PM
1

Some more information that would help us would be what level of degree do you have and what is it in? And how many years of experience do you have? There are certainly entry level customer service positions available on an at home basis. I've personally used flexjobs.com and had good results, it was worth the subscription for me. As someone who has nannied children while parents work from home, and considered it myself, I had a few pointers to consider. One is schedule. If you're considering a w…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/18 03:27 PM
2

Thanks so much! We try to think that way about most purchases, especially if we are buying new. We try to think how much value it holds once we buy it, how long it's expected to last, how much we are going to use it, etc. It helps use realize what is truly worth buying brand new, and it's not much!
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/18 04:27 PM
16

My husband and I are both in college, so we defintely don't have money to blow on expensive clothes. We are also religious, so I wear modest clothing (no sleeveless, at least to the knees, etc.). Honestly, I do a ton of shopping at thrift stores. Good Will and Salvation Army, and also stores like TJ Maxx and Ross. I've gotten a ton of cute, modest, feminine clothing, that is often name brand! Clothing is a hugely depreciating asset, and retains little value once you buy it, and many people get r…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/18 03:39 AM
2

We are good at communication in general. We practice "content communication", where we take individual responsibility to communicate in a way that we cannot be misunderstood, with kindness and respect. We don't hint drop, imply things, or use the tone of our voice to give indirect or conflicting messages. We say what we mean, and ask for what we need explicitly, and always use respectful and kind words. We don't use accusations, we don't demean each other, we don't use put-downs, we don't raise …
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/18 07:35 PM
10

I agree. Playing games with emotions is extremely immature. If my husband had done that for a second while we were dating I would have dumped him. It's evidence of lack of maturity to commit, and I was dating for marriage not for fun and had no time or energy for childish mind games. I wanted a man who could prove he was husband material. Who could be the provider and protector, which would be the complete opposite of someone who would purposefully try to make me jealous. In fact, someone who is…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/18 02:12 PM
7

I have overcome childhood trauma, and now am in a successful and loving marriage. It can be done. First, be wary of what you hear in this forum. What you are talking about development trauma, which should really be helped by professionals, not random internet people. Unless maybe it's a trauma support group, there are subreddits for abuse, trauma, PTSD, and all other kinds of support from people also struggling or did struggle with similar issues. I think the boundary of focusing on and helping …
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/18 04:17 AM
–

I usually use stuff I make with essential oils, like house cleaners. I don't sell EOs, and don't believe they have any magical properties, they just smell good haha! But heads up, in case someone suggests that, I've heard that they can be dangerous to pets, cats especially. So I would avoid them if I had a cat in the apartment!
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/18 06:33 PM
7

To be fair, the US is much larger and more diverse than Ireland. I think comparing them in that way isn't very effective. We've got everything from extreme liberals who think marriage should be done away with, all the way to extremely orthodox Christians who pull their girls out of school, don't teach them to read, and marry them off ASAP. And every thing and everyone in between spread accross a massive area. There are too many factors between Ireland and the US to possibly make a useful compari…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/18 04:34 PM
1

This could be projecting. Sometimes people who cheat become overly suspicious and accusatory of their partners in attempt to deflect any suspicion from themselves. It's harder for the other partner to notice signs of cheating of they are constantly defending themselves.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/18 12:11 AM
22

Gosh there are SO many, I could write books about them all. Some that have recently been on my mind is being able to share new experiences together! We are traveling accross the country currently and have stopped in several amazing places, and being able to geek out with my husband and share the excitement makes it twice as amazing! Sharing joy also. When something good happens to one of us, it essentially happens to both of us. Having someone in your corner that celebrates your successes and th…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/18 10:44 PM
2

I actually got off of hormonal birthcontrol. I was put on it for suspected endometriosis and things just got worse for years. I got rid of the artificial hormones, and took an herbal supplement called Prosoothe II, you can get it on amazon. It helped naturally balance the hormones. I also use calcium, magnesium, turmeric, and other herbal supports! My periods went from horrendous to completely manageable. Diet and stress have a huge impact for me too!
/r/RedPillWives25/08/18 10:28 PM
1

Thanks! It can be so difficult to overcome if it's ingrained to not to! I think going through the nursing program helped with that somewhat too, some boundaries just get destroyed haha!
/r/RedPillWives25/08/18 10:26 PM
3

Thank you so much!! And I'd absolutely love to!
/r/RedPillWives25/08/18 10:25 PM
22

So I had a history of awful periods, that did end up being totally resolved. But my husband and I met when they weren't, and I was fairly open about it because he was. He was so mature, and just understood that is was natural and normal and that there was nothing gross about it. He was always so incredibly caring and involved, and made me feel loved and beautiful even when I so didn't want to feel beautiful! I'm extraordinarily sensitive and in-tune with my body. So I can feel the hormonal swing…
/r/RedPillWives21/08/18 10:37 PM
1

You're so welcome! I hope you enjoy it! :)
/r/RedPillWives19/08/18 10:23 PM
25

So I'm a nurse and a doula and worked at a freestanding birth center as well, so I've witnessed many different senarios accross the spectrum. I defintely saw environments where the men (who were not always the fathers) were treated as bumbling fools with no right to be there. But by the same token, there were also many many men who were entirely intimidated by the birth process and did not want to be involved or consulted in any way, and were completely aloof and uninvolved by their own choice. …
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/18 06:57 PM
12

I just finished reading "Radical Homemakers" by Shannon Hayes and I absolutely adored it! It really jumpstarted our homesteading plans for the future. She talks about the woes of the "extractive economy" and the trap so many fall into of working for others to be able to barely afford their lifestyle and spend their life drowning in useless material poessions. She addresses pretty much every aspect from lifestyle, from food and work, education, health care, childcare, and so on. Defintely a great…
/r/RedPillWives18/08/18 04:28 PM
14

I don't know a out it being RP or not, but I guess that's certainly his culture and beliefs. And it would be very important to establish whether or not you are okay with that, regardless of how you would label it. For context, my husband and I both come from a conservative, religious background. Both of our mothers stayed home. But, that being said, neither of our mothers are doormats, and neither am I. My husband would have never dated a doormat. I respect him, love him, and support him, and we…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/18 03:09 AM
8

I love this! When I think self-care, I think of nourishing myself emotionally, physically, and spiritually (I'm religious). And these things, like food that is very nourishing, is often not an indulgence. It's work really, but it brings health, wellness, and mental clarity to me. My self care involves not stretching myself to thin, and in close relation to that, focusing on priorities first, everything else second. This includes exercise, healthy eating, homemaking and homesteading skill develop…
/r/RedPillWives07/08/18 02:16 PM
4

I second this! I'm an active member of the LDS church. Met my husband at a YSA ward near a university, not in Utah by the way. Many LDS people still believe in traditional dating, like actually taking the time to ask women (and women asking men) on dates and planning them, not dating exclusively immediately, marriage prep classes, and all that. It's amazing to see a huge group of young adults actively interested in dating and traditional marriage!
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/18 12:34 PM
1

I love this! I think it's such vital information, regardless of financial status, but especially if you are planning a domestic life. It's education for life! I personally get a huge portion of clothes at thrift stores. And I'm incredibly proud of that, because I'm very well dressed! I also belong to a religion that believes in high standards of modesty (knee-length, no sleeveless clothes, and so on) and I live in a tropical US environment. So finding modest, tasteful, attractive, second-hand cl…
/r/RedPillWives23/06/18 05:25 PM
1

I taught piano and voice lessons actually! I've played piano for about 13 years, I was originally taught via the Suzuki method. Which I actually don't recommend fully haha! It involved extensive ear training, but reading music was introduced too late. So at a young age I had a powerful concept of the building blocks of music and playing, but hated reading. But I've taken a few years of music theory. So I taught beginners, many adorable littles, and it was really fun! In my personal practice I ac…
/r/RedPillWives22/06/18 06:46 PM
1

Oh wow! That's amazing! Please do share, I'd be so happy to hear what it was like working at a Montessori school! How did you get into the position? What was your daily work like? Do you plan to implement that style of education at home? I'd love to hear about your experience!!
/r/RedPillWives22/06/18 06:39 PM
1

It's so refreshing to read this, it's a mindset and perspective that you don't get to see very much. I find that it can be a very rough run for women who see themselves as domestic women, but have the career woman mindset pushed on them from a very young age. It's good grades, advanced classes, clubs, and service hours all to look good for colleges. Then it's more good grades, full course loads, extra activities, picking a good program that isn't traditionally feminine, student debt, and pushing…
/r/RedPillWives22/06/18 06:03 PM
1

First, I would try to remember that actual "perfection" (particularly by today's standards) is an impossible expection for most women. Some do win the genetic lottery for what is considered ideal currently in the US without invasive and expensive procedures, but they are few and far in between. Most of the "perfection" you see walking around most likely haven't had children, may have paid for expensive plastic surgery, or spend a huge amount of money/time on diets (that are often temporary, and …
/r/RedPillWives19/06/18 05:38 PM
1

I also agree that everyone should stay far away from the MLM and direct sales companies. You're literally entering into the lottery as to whether or not you'll make any money from your work, and ruin relationships and friendships along the way. They target SAHMs so much, it's cruel and sickening. Anyway! Some things that I have done or looked into: Birth doula. I did my training about a year and a half ago. It does require reliable childcare, but you go and attend the birth, and if you plan corr…
/r/RedPillWives15/06/18 02:57 PM
1

Ghee! I started using this a few years ago, it's so versatile and tastes so gosh darn good! It's great to cook with since it has a high smoke point, but also adds a great flavor and texture to many dishes. Including oatmeal, homemade curry, and soups. I also frequently make naan bread from scratch, and add herbed ghee into it. So good, and great source of healthy fats! Does my sourdough starter count as an ingredient? I love that thing so dearly and use it a few times a week haha! I've been enjo…
/r/RedPillWives14/06/18 07:36 PM
1

Hi! My husband and I are 23 too, and it sounds like we have a ton in common! I also dream of a homestead, and we love the outdoors and hiking, and have very similar views on relationships! Haha I just get excited, since finding people with similar views at our age can be really difficult. That's so amazing that you work as a gardener! Would you mind telling me a little more about that? How you got into it? Do you work for a company, or privately for individuals? I've been desperately wanting to …
/r/RedPillWives14/06/18 06:38 PM
1

Hi ladies! I'm 23 years old, and my husband and it recently celebrated one year of marriage a few months ago! It's been a delightful first year, and we are excitedly looking towards the future. I'm a bit of a hippie, I enjoy yoga, the outdoors, tai chi, art, and music. I adore homemaking, cooking and baking in particular. My most recent achievement is a homemade sourdough bread from scratch, by feel with no kitchen scale! I've been teaching private music lessons, but will shift once we move out …
/r/RedPillWives14/06/18 06:34 PM
1

On no please please don't! That was never the intention. Just to point out that it wasn't a decision I made lightly, or a way to opt out of life. But my mother never got a college degree, and neither did my mother in law. And they are some of the women I admire most in this world and look up to so much! Our worth as women is not defined by degrees. I would never, ever look down upon you, or anyone else who left college to become a mother. Or someone who put off having children for an advance deg…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/18 08:45 PM
1

As a future homeschooling mother, there is SO much involved, and so much to learn. Becoming a mother involves so much that so much of our society and culture is missing. For me, the future path of stay at home mother who home schools has involved years of preparation. I got a two year nursing degree. I learned all the human body and healing, and that will serve me for the rest of my life. I'm doing a bachelor's in marriage and family studies, with a heavy focus in child development. I want to be…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/18 07:50 PM
1

Hello everyone! I'm Artemis286, and I'm happy to be here. I'm 23, and we celebrated one year of marriage recently! We are planning a move to another state here in two to three months, and plan to start TTC shortly after that. I love everything related to being a woman, homemaking, motherhood, child development, and everything else related! I've worn alot of different hats in my professional life...I'm a graduate of nursing school working as a music teacher, I've been a nanny and worked various o…
/r/RedPillWives08/06/18 11:34 PM
14

This is 100% me, though I was never particularly great at faking being anything else. There is a new wave term called "HSP" or "highly sensitive person", and whether that's really a particular category of people or just a particular personality trait, I don't know. But I've always been this way, since I was a small child, before puberty and hormones ever hit. I was always sensitive, easy to make cry and upset, and exceptionally loving, caring, and attentive to the needs of others. And I went int…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/18 01:57 PM
1

We had something in between. My husband and I were fairly young (22, now 23) so it's not like we had a ton of money to throw around. But we had amazingly supportive families, and he was the first grand child to get married, so there was more family there than friends. We only paid 800$ for our venue, it was a beautiful ballroom with a large balcony, but it was inside a public library. Which is why the price was so awesome. My MIL is a master crafts woman, and her and her friends handmade paper f…
/r/RedPillWives13/05/18 01:13 PM
1

You're so welcome! So glad I could help! And with that background, there may be work from home jobs as well, or even freelance work. All of my education and experience is in hands-on work, so that's never really been much of an option for me. But if I had that background I would totally look into it! Good luck!
/r/RedPillWives29/04/18 12:47 PM
1

Well in my opinion, there would be a few things to consider. First would be the area you are trying to get a job in. Are they the kind of positions that require multiple interviews, sending out of resumes in large amounts, or a large amount of on the job training? Contracts? Salary pay? That would be a big commitment to step into right before getting pregnant. And I would be wary of that as well. But I, for example, and hoping to work as a Montessori teacher/assistant starting this Fall, since t…
/r/RedPillWives28/04/18 10:04 PM
6

In addition to some toxic feminism, honestly I also see some hurt behind a statement like this. I could be totally wrong, but I see some toxic feminism that results from being very poorly treated. A way to lash out from someone who was perhaps previously under the control of another, or witnessed a love one under another's control. And part of a lack of coping with that hurt is to assign blame to an entire group of people. It also makes me think of what I would call a toxic power struggle going …
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/18 09:54 PM
2

Obstetrical violence is a huge problem in the US. I can't speak for Australia. But my nurse witnessed what I was witnessing, told me that that particular doctor did that all the time, and that there was nothing she could do. Yes, in a perfect world I could report that to someone who would be able to change something, but my nurse nor my professor on site were those people, and I could have been kicked out of my program for speaking up anymore than I did. OBs in particular can be horrid here. Gen…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/18 12:33 PM
1

I completely agree with this! My husband always said from the beginning of us dating that he admired and was attracted to my intelligence. But not just book smart, but also life smart (budgeting, planning, organizational skills, cooking and nutrition, etc.). It reminded him of his incredibly strong, intelligent, capable mother who is also very feminine, soft, and nurturing. It is so hard to find the balance in many social circles. I do see so many of my young adult friends be very prideful of th…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/18 02:03 AM
4

To be honest, much of it actually comes from my religious background. In my opinion and personal/religious view, raising a child is the most difficult work that can be done, and the most rewarding. In my church, parenthood (for both genders) is viewed as the highest work that one can do, and all other work is in preparation for that, or to support it. So as a wife, I view motherhood as the ultimate "job". Everything else just prepares me for that. And my husband feels his responsibility is to su…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/18 02:38 PM
1

So that was very much about my personality. I did great in class, on the tests, and in simulations. So it wasn't the schooling part that was hard, but the working reality of the job that I couldn't stand. Including (but not at all limited to): -12 hour shifts with short, and few breaks. Therfore not seeing outside or breathing fresh air for 12-14 hours at a time. -12 hour shifts on your feet, 6 hours of documentation to do per shift -Not having time to actually help or interact with patients. I …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 11:37 PM
7

I totally agree! I never want to judge others, everyone has the right to do what works best for their families. But they don't have the right to attack my choices either, just like you said! And both of them went back to work purely for their own enjoyment, not out of necessity. They were both going on about how being just a mom wouldn't be nearly enough for them, and they wouldn't have a real identity. And it seemed absurd to me. Being a creator and protector of life isn't enough of an identity…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 05:30 PM
1

So I graduated with my two year nursing degree, but knew about halfway through that I would never want to be a nurse. That I couldn't be a nurse, really. I'm this gentle, loving, kind, hippie flower child type person (but mixed with some very conservative, traditional values haha!), and nursing would never fit. So now that I'm out of school, I teach private piano and voice lessons at a music school, and will be continuing on with my bachelor's degree online in the Fall. While in that last year I…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 05:22 PM
1

So I was actually in the third semester of my two year nursing program, and I let slip to a professor (in a professional, educational setting) that I was pursuing a particular internship to be able to work a more flexible job that didn't require 12 hour shifts. With the end goal of being a SAHM, who may occasionally work. But motherhood would be my number one priority and work. She was asking why I was pursing this course, and uninterested in traditional nursing (which has many, many reasons, th…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 04:30 PM
3

I completely understand that feeling! I used to identify as a feminist (not at a horribly toxic level, but still) and waved the flag that I could do anything a man could do. Part of my growth and reconnecting with my actual feminine self has brought to light a totally different truth for me. That I am fundamentally different from men, and that's okay! I always felt an immense pressure to compete, to be the best, to be perfect, and then when my cycle would hinder me I would get frustrated. Now I …
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/18 01:29 AM
1

So I'm sure you'll get a ton of good advice on the dating concerns, I wanted to address the physical concerns that you mentioned. I'm a nurse and a doula, and have spent a ton of time studying women's health. I'm not a doctor though, so you should always consult with a medical professional on medical decisons. So I would recommend getting into some natural women's health groups if you're looking to manage hormonal mood swings without birth control. I was on birth control for several years to man…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/18 05:21 PM
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