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atuan Archive

View 3 posts and 258 comments by atuan on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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-7

I’m not saying give them the benefit of the doubt and I’m not claiming they think like me. I’m just referring to a 25 year relationship where I realized no he really was that dumb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 09:57 PM
3

No matter what the issue is, it could be about eating white bread, he lied. She was completely up front and he lied just to snag her and took it back. Who cares if it’s about porn or not. Leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:53 PM
18

Because they expect the loyalty of a mother but then the boundaries of a fellow individual. They can’t have it both ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:21 PM
69

Don’t debate men ever about a single issue. The only reason they want to debate is to “educate” you or persuade you to do something else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:38 PM
27

It’s because I was expecting the same treatment. That any time I fuck up or am not perfect, the other person would be tolerant and understanding back. He was not. Because men are taught to suppress and “control” their emotions and they see women as not doing the same and blame them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:38 PM
62

I think that being raised to be tolerant and understanding, while I absolutely still believe in those values, is what went too far for me. All those dealbreakers I observed in the beginning of my bad relationship, instead of seeing them as unacceptable, I tried to be tolerant and understanding of them. Biggest mistake of my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:12 PM
68

Yeah most of the time you are looking for external validation if you’re posting to relationships. I stopped offering advice there because actual advice and problem solving is not what posters look for, they’re looking for someone to tell them the behavior is wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:07 PM
8

“But caveman” lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 01:03 PM
4

This is a good point. I’ve had therapy in a variety of family situations and each time the therapist made me feel more seen and have higher self esteem that I wasn’t crazy. And each time the other party ended it cause it made them feel bad about their behavior. Even though the therapy didn’t “fix” things, it was good to “break” things. I needed the clarity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:54 PM
17

I don’t understand why men can’t fantasize about their girlfriends. I fantasize about people I’m in a relationship with and it gets better and better the more you do it. You can choose what you spend your mental energy on, why do they choose fetishes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:43 PM
20

It’s so bizarre that he’s trying to explain to her that she needs to understand lying. So why should she listen to him now? Why is it up to women to first expect and understand men lie, otherwise they’re dumb and naive, and then second, listen to him explain things and believe him because he’s now telling her a truth she needs to hear. So fucked up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:32 PM
40

Yeah it’s another example of blaming women for not interpreting lies in the right way. You should know better than to believe the lies and it’s your fault for not understanding that what I was communicating was not real. It’s bizarre.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:29 PM
3

Yes that’s why I said sex is an expression of love, or should be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 07:15 PM
36

Projection again. They feel like their human needs are being denied because they are denying others’ human needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 07:14 PM
16

I would agree that sex is a human need when it’s an expression of love and affection and trust between two people who mutually respect each other. Masturbating with someone’s body when you want it no matter what they want is not the human need they think “sex” is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:52 PM
54

The problem is I want to “give men sex”... they just don’t like the “strings” as in mutual respect which are so annoying to them. “Your need to feel human is getting in the way of my human needs!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:39 PM
25

If it’s a human need, why are they only able to do it in dehumanizing situations?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:38 PM
37

I don’t understand this “sex is a human need” therefore we must force it. That makes no sense. Why aren’t they interested in self-reflecting towards how sex is a human need for BOTH men and women and how to work on mutually beneficial relationships? There’s a reason why men “need” sex so bad they need whores or rape while women are feeling as asexual as ever. Both sides matter, and this attitude CONTRIBUTES to men “not being able to get sex.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:38 PM
3

My ex was like this and I didn’t realize it for years and years. It was the the point where I couldn’t pay attention to what he was saying and got extremely impatient and when it was “my turn” to talk I talked super fast and got really impatient and would repeat myself over and over from years of being ignored. After I left him then when I would talk to people I came across in that same way of never listening. It was pretty demoralizing but luckily I had self awareness and quickly adapted back t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 04:05 PM
1

I think it’s helpful for when you have to deal with coworkers or people you can’t just leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 04:01 PM
14

They avoid all conflict through dishonesty, which just turns into HUGE conflict in the long run. But they don’t learn those kinds of emotionally intelligent lessons in life because they just externalize all blame. Women mad. It’s annoying when women are mad. So I avoid talking to them about anything. Never realizing that all that conflict might be a a result of the dishonesty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 09:46 PM
27

Yeah I can’t believe the amount of guys that are legit angry that women are hurt by lying about this stuff. Like it’s one thing to do it. Then to defend themselves that we’re the problem for not expecting completely anti-social behavior. And then making it seem like it’s an emotional problem with us. I can’t believe how often this is happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 09:12 PM
30

Yes, LVM only want you if they happen to already be there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 05:36 PM
5

That ruining it for him ruins it for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 06:27 AM
10

When you spend time trying "not to irritate" people you actually can become quite irritating. It's the opposite: people like someone who is confident, decisive, and clear about their intentions. When you second guess yourself and try to figure out what someone likes or doesn't like, you aren't being confident and clear in your intention, you overthink it and become irritating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 06:25 AM
20

Honestly I would respect that men know what they want and go after it no compromises. If they want sex and know they don’t want a relationship, I’m fine with them stating that up front and looking for a person that will willingly agree to that for mutual benefit. But I’ve never seen that happen. Ever. They lie about it. That’s the problem. These are head games to get what they want but through tricking people (and themselves sometimes). That’s why it’s so not only unethical and antisocial behavi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 11:12 PM
1

If he’s anti capitalism he shouldn’t benefit from any of her income.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:50 PM
16

I think a lot less women are okay with the casual sex and being strung along. I’ve reflected and realized all the ways I’m not taking care of myself and cut out toxic relationships. I know many people who’ve said the same. A lot of men are being cut off because of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:42 PM
5

Porn isn’t enough, even with how rapey it is. They have to actually be violating a woman’s privacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:02 PM
90

They don’t understand the difference between love and being adored. That’s a great way to put it, they just want to be adored.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:50 PM
11

Why was I expecting a punchline....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:28 PM
67

Why are we even entertaining the logic here? It’s so clear it’s all just lies to get sex. The end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:02 PM
201

Spoiler alert: it never does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:02 PM
18

I think that’s where the narc rage comes from... they flattered you so much and you’re not reciprocating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 10:10 PM
94

They want you to communicate so they can figure out how to argue or manipulate you into staying and doing what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 07:37 PM
91

Well also their compliments and praise are because that’s how they want to be treated. They literally don’t know how to interact with someone without putting or being put on a pedestal and just being.... equal and normal with a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 06:08 PM
10

And no porn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 04:57 PM
9

I was expecting an 18 yo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 04:56 PM
4

They should have sold it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 04:56 PM
4

Yeah I’m saying that’s how they see it, in a condescending way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 04:42 PM
15

Yeah and he doesn’t get that younger men wanting to give charity to older women are a dime a dozen. It’s very easy to find young guys that want you as an older woman, too easy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 03:05 PM
30

They also are here declaring things they think about older women while also declaring no experience. They don’t just have a curiosity and want to learn, which would still be creepy, but it’s that they’ve DECIDED older women are a certain way (the assumptions in his mind) therefore he’s manipulating situations to get what he wants, based on his delusions about what he is assuming all these imaginary women are like. It’s delusional, this post should be considered psychotic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 03:03 PM
29

Why do they think tinder is the same level of service as ordering a Big Mac? Like they’re just listing their demands as if it’s fast food and not a human relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 03:00 PM
28

If she has to be paid to do it she DOESNT like it. That’s the problem. They want what they want on demand without considering a woman a human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 05:23 PM
5

The problem is waiting to be cherished by someone who doesn’t. It is kind of a Nice Guy thing in a way, it’s expecting a person to have feelings they don’t. I think it’s not Nice Guy level cause the problem is women get lied to and breadcrumbed into believing it and are understandably confused. But being smart and realizing this person doesn’t cherish me so I’m gonna find someone who does is the reaction. Not, what’s wrong with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 11:40 AM
49

I don't know if this is going to make sense.. but I've found with men, their sexual preferences are always the opposite of how they are in life. They're into dominating women because women are safe people they can bully and they are actually submissive and unassertive and bullied in life so they take it out on women. ​ Women on the other hand usually want sex to express a connection that is consistent with their life. Men compartmentalize, bury their emotions, and then want to take out all the r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:09 PM
6

Man this is just so fucked up. She didn’t even do all this without asking, which would still be shitty but maybe a sliver more understandable. But he literally TOLD HER to go do all this and that he’d pay her back AND SHE FUCKING WRAPPED IT ALL... I can’t fucking believe she wouldn’t leave him immediately and is pondering this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 07:38 PM
21

Wow this has me reading about compartmentalization and it's eye opening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 08:25 PM
18

Also I've been accused of being "too sensitive" and "too cold and inconsiderate" at the same time. Anyone accusing you of being too anything is just projecting or blameshifting. I've found men to be the most sensitive and "emotional" beings I've ever met.. and when you rationally communicate with them anything they can't handle it and deconstruct. I've never had a meltdown just from making a mistake or getting feedback from my partner for behavior yet the relationships I've had with men have had…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 08:21 PM
244

What if *I'm* depressed? I'm supposed to help him with his depression but my reactions to him are "crazy"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 08:16 PM
138

Twenty years of "tell me what to do!.... I don't have to do what you say." Rinse and repeat and then call me crazy for being frustrated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 08:15 PM
166

By "you need to communicate" they mean "you need to understand him" and it never goes both ways. ​ My nex was always about communication and it took a long time to learn communication meant him repeating his view until I accepted it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 08:11 PM
44

I wish I'd known long ago that relationships are about practice: you build relationships by what you do daily and on a regular basis. When relationships are based on puppy love and idealizing people, the daily practice won't be there and the ideal will fade and there will be nothing left. If you "practice" disrespect, that becomes the foundation of your relationship. If you "practice" deception and lies in order to get what you want or have a clean image, then the relationship is built on lies a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 08:00 PM
6

Has anyone ever overcome cheating? I'm just literally asking and wondering if it's possible. I feel like if cheating happens it's because the foundation of the relationship was not real to begin with. The trust was a level of falseness or fakeness and the cheater finally "broke" and needed to "be real" if that makes sense. I remember feeling the temptation to cheat in my shitting narc relationship and I felt so guilty but now looking back on it it was because he was so fake and not real with me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:00 PM
17

Then argue rape should be a human right because women withhold sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 04:55 PM
35

And verbal signals to shut the fuck up get you labeled as a mega bitch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 12:02 AM
2

Well now the problem is that people my age are usually divorced and jaded and have trust issues that they don't work on and give up. I live in a red state with a low population too so there's not much to work with. But it feels good to know what I want and if it comes along I'll grab it but I won't pursue it right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:17 PM
12

I dunno, there are a lot of lonely older people that try to give back to feel a connection to society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 12:07 AM
5

Yeah what did Forky ever do to you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:53 PM
29

I have thought I was gay for most of my life but never pursued it. And then I finally met someone I was attracted to and got off with. I realized that I had been just accepting whoever liked me, all the men before were guys that I was friends with and we watched TV together but I never ever sexually desired them. I liked that they liked me (picked me). Then at 35 I finally met someone I was attracted to and I finally felt sexual desire for a man and I realized I had never felt that way before. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:52 PM
17

Ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 10:35 PM
51

Yep. Women have it easy. But women here means... the women who have it easy. Might as well say “the women that have it easy have it easy.” And of course even within that ideal demographic surely those women have invisible issues that they could never know about because they don’t have empathy or any exposure or curiosity about those women’s experiences anyway. Also as an aside, not being overweight in western culture is a big deal. Obesity rates have skyrocketed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 09:40 PM
90

I posted for some advice on r/selfimprovement and I got one response saying that I need to work on getting hotter and losing weight and finding a man and then I won’t have the career and financial issues that I had posted about. Pissed me the fuck off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 09:36 PM
154

Yeah and whenever I read about how easy it is for women they mean underweight but big boobs, white, 18-24, middle to upper class, single, no kids, no disabilities, etc. And that is like 4% of the population of women. The way they define “women” in and of itself proves them wrong. The women that aren’t fuckable don’t even register as women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 09:33 PM
65

Another post about projection!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 09:32 PM
105

They forget about the fact that accomplishments and intellect and personality matter in a man and no one cares about the inner world of women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 09:32 PM
65

Also FYI there are apps that look like calculators and shit for hiding files. There are even apps with decoy girlfriend codes for showing your gf and saying hey I’ll let you use the password so you can see they’re a nothing bad in here and it’s a “decoy” account and not the real password. Sickening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 08:48 PM
6

Projection. If you’re bored then you’re boring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 06:26 PM
6

Men love to blame women for having low standards. Men love to blame women for having high standards. Men love to blame women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:47 PM
16

Absolutely. I'm blamed for things not working, which they would if I were dealing with someone cooperative and rational. Also a lot of men don't understand children and have no emotional intelligence and are arrogant and think that weird quick fixes for controlling behavior are appropriate instead of understanding the nuance of how to care for children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 08:50 PM
45

It is ten times easier to be a single mom than a coparent with someone who makes you do all the work AND argues with you and stops you from getting that work done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:17 PM
23

Yes they confuse people pleasing with being nice and the difference is people pleasing is being fake and doing things ONLY in order to get a result back from a person. Then when you don't get the result they get mad and think but I did what I was supposed to do???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 02:28 PM
22

Nice means entitled here. They forced themselves to be nice in order to obtain a goal and the goal didn't happen so they get mad and say "but I was NICE??" and they're genuinely confused by it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 02:25 PM
30

Total projection. Women get treated like meat, start to shut men out, then men say wow look at how you're acting, sociopath. As usual, they blame shift and can't comprehend that perhaps women are REACTING to their behavior and those things they hate about women are consequences of their own behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 06:52 PM
48

They'll argue with you that you're wrong about how you feel and it will make you feel worse and the cycle will continue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:10 PM
70

They only want a reason to argue with it and tell you how it's wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:09 PM
38

Explaining how you're hurt to someone that doesn't care just invalidates your feelings even more. They will only care if they're interested and you can't instigate a conversation with someone who isn't interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:09 PM
6

Yep. A lot of my issues are from a step mom that was always competing with me over my Dad's attention. She would always be offended by literally everything I said and did but fawn over her 3 sons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 06:58 PM
18

Someone will only make the effort to resolve issues if they respect you. So you can't resolve the resolve to not resolve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:23 PM
17

Yes my ex and his wife he married months after me bonded over devaluing me and her ex as well. I just found out they’re getting a divorce though, because the devaluators will eventually turn on each other and repeat the cycle. I’m not happy they’re getting divorced but I’m not gonna lie that I feel vindicated that all that devaluation was BS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 07:51 PM
3

“I didn’t ask for it.” I just reaped the benefits and exploited it and then was shocked that it affected the human behind the actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 05:34 PM
29

When I first heard the phrase I did think it was about people bonding over shared traumas. And I think that can be good and bad: I think people after divorce will bond over hating their exes and I do think that can turn into a codependent nightmare of people needing to validate their hate and anger for the relationship to thrive. Abusers do that to not have to face the guilt over what they've done and work on themselves and instead find someone that validates that they were "right" to abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:16 PM
39

They confuse love with being admired.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 12:08 AM
28

I realized with my nex that after a few years of not reciprocating, he saw me as scrambling for his attention and he perceived that as a symptom of his own superiority. And of course I perceived that as not ever ever reciprocating love. Only recently have I realized how he saw my love and just thought "of course." And made no changes, no reciprocation, just saw my attention as worship. I think, 20 years and another divorce later, he's finally realizing that that's not what it was. But when I loo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 12:06 AM
29

Love is narcissistic supply to them. I think it's not until a lot of men are in their 50s and 60s that they realize the supply won't last, but meanwhile, women that age are done giving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 12:03 AM
16

They work in the short run. The insanity that will come with it when they call her crazy are the consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 10:20 PM
2

Yeah and they’re the ones that are so emotionally unintelligent that they don’t know that mutually beneficial relationships are actually how you always get what you want, forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 10:16 PM
3

They’re never interested in “playing.” They’ve decides what they want beforehand and it’s all a manipulative dance to get what they want and only what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 10:14 PM
9

He’s trying to pretend he’s tough and nothing she can do will upset him. So he closes off emotionally and pretends he doesn’t have emotions and then negates hers in turn. Then says condescending judgments about how she should act better. It’s disgusting on so many levels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 10:13 PM
17

Fuck this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 09:24 PM
7

That’s fucked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 09:23 PM
205

That is a great point. If you pointed out this was happening, it would just cause a gaslighting fight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:16 PM
57

There is definitely this disconnect between men and women that I’ve seen where they conflate being cooperative with stupidity. Social skills are seen as being naive. Because they are predatory and projecting that if you can’t see that they’re trying to prey on you you’re dumb. But they don’t get that they’re the ones with the antisocial behavior that one is not “stupid” for not predicting because there are plenty of nice cooperative people in the world that don’t exhibit predatory behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:44 PM
9

Yeah there’s so many different factors, the temp inside and outside, the moisture level, how warmed up your engine is, how fast you’re going. It’s not always predictable. My go to is to always warm up the car. You don’t even have to scrape the windshield if you just wait for it to melt. Then the inside will reach an equilibrium so condensation doesn’t accumulate. I don’t know why or how but that’s just my practical experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:30 PM
12

Well it depends on the car and I’ll assure you wiping it with a towel does not help and makes visibility worse. In his car it was to turn the windshield icon on with high heat but turn the AC on as well in order to dehumidify with hot air. He argued with me that AC and hot air at the same time didn’t work and I admit I don’t know exactly the chemistry behind it but I think the Freon dehumidifies and combined with heat it defogs faster. Wiping it just moves the moisture around and leaves a mark t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:18 PM
16

If you have to ask it didn’t happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:13 PM
2

Yeah the meme looks fake and i think this post is making fun of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:10 PM
30

Same! Honestly our relationship took a turn the day where he didn’t know how to de fog his windshield and was using a towel every 20 seconds while driving and I showed him how to de fog it and he got enraged and gave me the silent treatment for days cause it hurt his feelings that he was an idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:09 PM
14

I was the one that knew how to do shit with the car Bc my ex was a baby. One time we got a flat tire and he pulled over and started screaming FUCK and hitting the steering wheel and crying. Another time he was late to meet me for a custody exchange because he had “a tire pressure issue” which turned out to be he had gotten a light turned on that said his tire pressure was low and he didn’t know what that meant aside from it meant he wasn’t allowed to drive anymore cause the tire might explode. O…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:08 PM
39

Yeah it’s projection. They’re not expressing their interests and emotions and so they mock those that do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:30 PM
56

Also there’s a reason why teenage girls are attention seeking and “annoying” and “self diagnosing” themselves with mental illness. If this is a pervasive problem maybe our society has a problem with convincing teen girls to hate themselves so regularly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:30 PM
3

I also think the standard of having an estate that needs full time housekeeping is the problem. I downsized to an apartment and have a very humble standard of living so that I can work and take care of my daughter with more ease. You need a wife/housekeeper if you are living beyond your means.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 11:28 PM
3

Yeah exactly, and trickle down politics have skimmed everything for workers off to the top... women entering the workforce was more a result of that than the other way around. But we like to blame women instead of the ultra rich.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 11:27 PM
37

Because we’re taught to not make excuses so when we hear them we feel like they must be valid. But they come from entitlement and it takes decades to learn we learned different values than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 01:37 AM
50

Yeah the emotional labor. Being a manager and delegating is a job in and of itself let alone doing the work as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 01:30 AM
86

My ex was all about fairness but only when it served him. When something else wasn’t fair to me he’d be like yeah well that was your choice to do x, y, z which is why he’s not responsible for the fairness now. As if all his choices weren’t his choices????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 12:54 AM
164

And a lot of subs around here will talk about how the reason why one income can’t support a family anymore is because women joined the work force and devalued wages by supplying too much demand for work. Not because of any other economical reasons. Women trying to do TOO MUCH work was the problem. So the solution is for them to continue to do too much work at home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 12:54 AM
73

I was in graduate school so that was the reason why I did the house work cause he had a 2 hr commute to a job and I didn’t. But then after the relationship ended, one night I woke up and screamed but wait I still did all the cooking and cleaning when HE was in graduate school and it took me ten fucking years to remember that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 12:51 AM
56

Are your guys exes seriously saying they work with no idea that your work too? Like... what did they say when you pointed that out? How is this still possible?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 12:50 AM
2

They want to be told what they want but only if it inspires them to realize what they truly wanted all along. You know, like magic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:57 PM
38

My ex was HV for about 3 years honestly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:46 PM
46

They’re the ones that expect mind reading while accusing us of it. Projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 01:11 AM
44

They never have any self awareness that women are reacting to their actions just as much as vice versa. They’re always trying to figure us out as if we’re aliens and their behavior has no effect on anything and everything is coming 100% from us. That’s how they end up externalizing blame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 01:10 AM
15

They only get it when you leave and they realize you’re a person who can’t take it anymore. Even when you use words to explain you can’t take it anymore they don’t take your words seriously until they’re negatively affected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 12:52 AM
12

Yeah one time back in the day I went to a strip club with friends (this was back when I was 21, I'm 38 now). I was curious and then kind of disgusted once I got there and saw how lifeless the strippers were. I got into an argument with a guy there who was like "they love what they do so I don't feel bad objectifying them." Guys will argue to the ends of the earth that women love something degrading like that without even like.. asking them. It's all defensiveness for their own conscience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:20 PM
6

Call them out on “if you told me to do it I would.” It’s a lie. I spent a long time arguing he should take initiative. Then I gave up and said fine I’ll tell you what to do... then they don’t fucking do it or say “I’ll do it later” and never ever do like teenagers. They just won’t fucking do it no matter how much they say It’s your fault for not “communicating” these are all excuses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 02:34 PM
105

This is a great point. FDS being labelled a "hate sub" because we talk about not wanting to be used and raped is compared with men literally laughing at women being hurt or joking about rape and murder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:36 PM
81

We're taught to see the potential in men but not ourselves. They are taught to see their potential but not the potential in women. We need to see men more realistically and see our own potential instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 09:21 PM
21

It's being controlled when they don't want to do it and then get "nagged" to do it. If they did it in the first place by being respectful and taking the initiative to do these things, they'd be controlling themselves instead of needing to "be controlled."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 08:24 PM
19

Does this really "work"? I mean I can see someone falling for it once maybe twice, but after interacting and seeing how false and empty the words are, this would just serve to piss the woman off even more. And if you get a woman that clings to this, you're going to have a bad time with "crazy"...they complain about women being crazy but they are doing things that only would either drive a woman crazy or work with a crazy unstable person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 02:51 PM
27

That's like saying clothes are false advertising. You wore a suit but you're a scrub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 06:57 PM
9

By cryptic he means it’s a lie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 10:01 PM
17

It's saying "you're having emotions therefore your perspective is invalid so I'm mocking it."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 06:24 PM
39

I was about to make the same exact comment. They say "did someone hurt you" in this way that makes it seem like it devalues your opinion or is mocking but it's like.. no you're right, yes, someone hurt me, that's the freaking point? As if pointing out pain somehow makes the opinion invalid. Which is because that's what men do to other men, mock them for being vulnerable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 06:23 PM
10

Ew. That's sick. ​ Yes when you grow up with a Dad like that, it takes a long time to learn that it's not how love should be. My dad was a withholder, he liked me begging for things and feeling in charge and would just randomly be ok with things depending on his mood, never anything rational. So I've never seen anything wrong with that behavior until I spent 10 years as an adult with someone who treated me like that. You can't get things done or problem solve things with a partner like that. It'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:21 PM
7

"The conditioning worked to keep me in that constant feeling of neediness, lack of confidence, wanting to endlessly prove myself, need for closure, needing just one more try" ​ You just wrote my biography.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:18 PM
52

I'm convinced I have this issue because this was my Dad's express intent in how to control my behavior. He advised me to do this when I had a daughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:00 AM
28

It's a dopamine fix. When I hear my snapchat message ding, I get a dopamine release. So I deleted snapchat the way I'd detox from a drug addiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:00 AM
6

I totally understand what you’re going through. I just blocked one after FIVE years. I kept thinking I could handle it and it was what I wanted but every interaction left me obsessing over texts and what non-responses meant and just decided that I tried my best to make it work and it’s not something that will ever satisfy me. Reading other women’s stories about going through the same thing has made me feel strong and more secure in my decision. When it’s just you and him he will get in your head…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:39 PM
6

Yeah the economy that made demanding money for sex as a transaction was not the choice of women. There was a point many times during my experience OLD and getting ghosted by fuck boys where I thought I should just do this for money, they’re treating me like a whore and I’m not getting paid. I never would have thought that if I’d been treated with respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:04 PM
40

They are saying they just want someone to validate them at every turn. Not someone who has their own actual personality who does similar actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:24 PM
229

All the requirements for a partner for men on OLD profiles are projections of their own irritating behavior. They’re not actually looking for someone who understands sarcasm, they’re literally already defending and blaming you for what they know is abrasive behavior. Literally before even meeting anyone. They don’t think about what they want in a woman. What they want in a woman is someone who mirrors themselves. They want a nobody and their list of qualities is just about accepting their own qu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:22 PM
35

It’s better to give up and accept something if it happens to come along than foster false hope over and over and over. You’re just being realistic. Someone worth it will make themselves known if they exist but it’s better to be alone for the rest of your life than waste time being unrealistic about believing the lies and deception. Nothing wrong with waiting for honesty and sincerity and being prepared to never find it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:50 AM
24

As someone from Indiana, this sounds about right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 02:14 AM
5

Then they tell you it’s cause you didn’t “communicate” because everything is projection. You did communicate, they didn’t listen. So when it got bad they blame you for the very thing they did in the first place. They externalize blame and we internalize it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 07:15 PM
20

Also it’s hard to resist that these men will develop interest after rejection. When you stop showing interest they then will increase their interest. And that’s the hardest part is staying strong and not giving in to that game. Because as soon as they have you “back” they’ll loose interest again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:43 PM
5

Yep. Classic “you hurt my feelings when you tell me I hurt your feelings!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:26 PM
66

The running thread through all of the FDS posts are deception. Being genuine and sincere is the only answer to good relationships yet no one does it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:20 PM
40

Turns out giving men everything they want leaves no one happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 08:40 PM
83

That's really interesting. It just seems like men don't take women's words seriously. That's usually what prompts the break up. They don't understand the reality until they feel affected by it. They don't really have empathy or think women's experiences matter, really. My ex would argue with me that I'm abusing him because I'm always getting mad at him... to this day he doesn't understand the concept of me being mad happened AFTER his actions. He only understood there was a problem when I would …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 07:29 PM
63

They have no concept that women are people learning lessons through life and developing. They can’t comprehend the break up because of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 06:05 PM
146

Like trying to earn love from men makes them want to keep you trying and groveling because they like you beneath them cause it strokes their ego and gives them power. They’ll never reciprocate. What they don’t get is no one can put up with being in that groveling position for long and they don’t regret or learn from this until they’re left by the woman who’s had enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 04:45 PM
199

The urge to earn the love you never got keeps you going. But that behavior of trying to earn love keeps men withholding it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:38 PM
21

The wage gap is explained by women putting time and energy into emotional labor and not being paid for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 09:20 PM
25

Also any question like this is because this person doesn’t date other men as a woman, so of course he’s never “heard of” these things. I’m an insecure girl and trust me I’m aware that no guy wants an insecure girl. No one says that shit to him cause he’s not an insecure girl!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 09:15 PM
106

It’s not pleasurable to the woman so it feels even more like they’re using a tool and denying her humanity. That’s the enjoyment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 05:35 PM
52

I agree with this but at the same time there are some good qualities that toxic people exploit that are not things that need to be healed. I'm somebody that tries to take responsibility for myself and I've had lots of toxic relationships where I become the scapegoat because I admit when I'm wrong and the other person doesn't appreciate it. That's not something I need to change about myself, just recognize when I am not being appreciated and not tolerate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 02:00 PM
60

It already exists, it’s called Tinder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 09:12 PM
40

It’s all “now that I want something from you, I know I have to half assedly take responsibility in order to manipulate you”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 11:54 AM
7

Absolutely. Any guy who has called me dear or sweetie or honey that isn’t my grandpa is someone that was being condescending and it showed up later in bigger ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 09:05 PM
5

The hoops they jump through to make friends with benefits sound like something else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 08:40 PM
5

Lol that’s literally what a friendship is! Talking and caring about each other and not having sex is a normal platonic relationship lol. Moron.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 07:10 PM
9

This exactly. I ended my relationship with this compulsive desire to explain myself and developed an attention problem in conversations because of it. It took a long time to realize that it was because of the ten years of gaslighting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 07:06 PM
11

I told my ex that I felt like he constantly opposed my initiatives and he’d be like what about on April 3rd 2001 when I said yes to one thing you said? I tried explaining that 1/100 times doesn’t matter to the 99/100 times I’m being shot down and mocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 07:04 PM
13

I just got told “I don’t have time for these constant conversations about your needs.” The conversations wouldn’t be constant if we had one true respectful one and then actions followed the words. The constant conversations are because you’re full of bullshit when we have then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 07:02 PM
40

Most people say "communicate" when they mean "blindly accept what I have to say without reciprocation."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 06:54 PM
30

When they say "communicate" they mean "tell me what I want to hear."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 06:53 PM
19

This is especially irritating when it comes from the types that complain women don't communicate. Projection, yet again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 06:51 PM
1

Exactly it’s also projection. This person is reacting negatively to me therefore it’s their fault, which is irrational in and of itself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:38 PM
3

That's a good point, that explains the metaphor of a guitar as "she" and having a "body".. I've known guitarists call their guitar she many times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 07:07 PM
10

And with that, the person feeling the groove is having fun but the person directing everyone is not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 10:29 PM
32

Yeah so many guys say they need to be told what to do but that’s not how it works. Sex is about desire not following instructions. Think about playing an instrument and playing jazz. When you improvise and feel the groove it’s good. If someone is saying now play A now G now B flat it’s not as good at all. And guys eventually end up just doing what feels good for them anyway and not listening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 08:36 PM
20

A man can get divorced if he doesn’t like being able to rape his wife when he wants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:25 PM
3

If you said tell me something I mean invented without looking it up either. I literally don’t know who invented what without looking it up. I guess Edison “invented” the lightbulb but also wasn’t there a massive controversy about that as well?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 12:03 AM
82

I lost intimacy with my ex of 20 years. I started to feel really disgusted with the thought of him touching me or violating my space. I think it's because after awhile I started to feel like the relationship was not about me.... it was violating me. I was giving and giving everything which at first was sexually exciting because of the newness and the validation I got after being lonely.. but it turned out there was nothing to the relationship. It was one-way. I didn't realize this until I reflec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 01:37 AM
13

Maybe her credit is fine, he's just telling her it's bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 01:33 AM
8

They're starting to feel like something is wrong but look to Reddit to validate that her BF can't possibly being doing something bad to ease her fears. She's starting to have a gut feeling and doesn't want to listen to it. Flying off the handle about her not being on the title is shady AF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 01:32 AM
5

Exactly. I thought he was asking questions because he had curiosity and really wanted to learn about me and my knowledge and interests. He only wanted to stroke my ego and then when things turned bad made sure to say humiliating things whenever I asserted a boundary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 11:45 PM
50

They do want a woman that enjoys sex. One that’s a side chick that they can degrade and cheat on their main bitch with. The main bitch who’s a virginal saint.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 10:21 PM
41

Exactly, if it was “natural” we’d all be getting along and there wouldn’t a problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 04:43 PM
86

It’s why they then have these narratives of “well women are naturally submissive” or “women love pleasing men” then why the fuck have so many of us had enough???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 04:20 PM
71

I was a pick me bangmaid for 15 years. When I separated from him and he got remarried within months his new wife was appalled at how “selfish” I was. I had just spent the previous 15 years being an invisible servant and now was just trying to get a job to support myself while also raising his child. It was “selfish” of me and to this day she tells my daughter I’m a bad person because of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 04:19 PM
5

I love that “female dating strategy” has become “don’t.” Thats the only real strategy here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 03:17 PM
42

Because they want to feel special to you but don’t think you’re special to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 09:35 AM
8

This is the problem with BPD as a diagnosis... it’s seen as a “bad person” label. And someone with BPD would be vulnerable to someone abusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 01:45 AM
30

That’s down right predatory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:16 PM
5

Lol. Why would you say “we didn’t have sex or anything” unless you actually did have sex and we’re lying. That’s not a normal way to talk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:29 AM
12

God why can’t women just communicate better, it would fix all problems
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:20 AM
16

We could snuggle is like those fake ass worms in my grandpas tackle box used for fishing. How could a fish really believe that’s a real worm with sparkles all over it? You go for that you’re going to get a hook in your mouth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 08:48 PM
9

Don’t ever believe in a snuggle date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 08:47 PM
15

Yeah it’s saying prove your worth it before I prove I’m worth it. No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 08:41 PM
5

I needed to hear the 20 years ago
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 08:41 PM
5

Yeah you do that there’s a 75/25 chance you’re murdered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:53 AM
8

They don’t plan on a next time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 08:28 PM
36

Then he went on Reddit and posted about how this shows that it's scientifically proven that women are frigid bitches that hate sex and therefore all sex is rape so why not make rape government mandated because it's my right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 01:49 PM
9

Wow yeah I went through the same thing. I thought I was schizophrenic. But when I got around other people who listened to me I didn’t act the same way, and I realized how used to being ignored and shot down I was when I was shocked that other people actually heard what I was saying and remembered it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 07:39 PM
83

Honestly as a single mom with a daughter... kids are not the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 10:50 PM
75

"Women are crazy and irrational" yep. In relationships we are. There's a reason for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 10:50 PM
2

Yeah well they want a FWB that is basically Siri where they press a button and get instant gratification towards their demands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 08:55 PM
26

Yeah I dated someone who would be text "I'm at the bank by your house" and it'd be like 4 pm on a Tuesday. Cool story bro. He wouldn't even then say "you wanna hang" he just literally would announce ME NEAR YOU as if I was supposed to be super excited at the great opportunity to be graced with his presence and have him expect sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 09:39 PM
10

Yeah that was the most annoying part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 09:38 PM
6

Yes great example of them asking us to nag and then being mad they have a nag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 09:33 PM
18

Yeah the amount of “you already told me this” I’ve heard... yeah I know that’s the problem... nothing ever changes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 08:20 PM
38

Yeah the reason being that they don't want to be "shamed" for their sexuality. They should be shamed. It's not a sexuality, it's a LACK of sexuality. They need to consume a product to get off instead of a relationship with a human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 04:45 PM
28

Because sex is a transaction or a thing done to an object. It's a gratification, not an experience with another person. Then they externalize that something's wrong with women cause they can't come.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 04:43 PM
19

And definitely related to the fact that avoidance is the main emotional issue in these terrible relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 04:42 PM
18

Yes conversations w my ex were just “whatever you want to hear so this conversation ends.” It really fucked with my self esteem. I don’t know why it takes decades to learn this isn’t ok. I’m trying to figure out where I was raised wrong in order to make sure my daughter doesn’t go through this. I think it’s not taking no for an answer and not just accepting people’s actions and words and moving on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:58 PM
26

Yeah that article is great. I don't understand why it took me so long. I was raised to believe that "communicating" is mature and responding with action is petty. That adults sit down and listen and problem-solve. But if someone's not doing it they're not an adult. I don't know why I was so loyal to someone for so long even when I knew this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:42 PM
63

Man that time limit thing brought back so many memories. Just the ridiculousness of the lengths they will go to to avoid.. which if they just spent a second listening and processing then we could move on. But the avoidance and negotiating and fighting drags it on and then they accuse us of "dwelling" on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:19 PM
45

Communication is CO-mmunication. Men think "communication" means "speaking." Communication takes two. It's another example of men externalizing blame. If they don't comprehend something it's the other person's fault. ​ I used to get so angry about this but I'm starting to think about it differently. I can focus on how my ex never listened to me and then told me I wasn't "telling him what to do" enough. Or I can see it as I have good communication and listening skills and I had higher level socia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:16 PM
26

I drove Uber in a college town and I heard a lot of those conversations first hand. Whenever I get the urge to send a paragraph explanation I remember when these bros were making fun of a girl for "sending a FAT text" and then making fun of the dude who had to "deal" with it. Then I don't want to "send a fat text."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 07:25 PM
8

She’s gonna leave him and he’s gonna immediately regret this. Right now he feels secure and has no idea how good he has it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:29 PM
6

Yeah also, don’t call me out on past behavior because I’m not responsible for my actions and whatever I said or did in the past was just BS to manipulate you and didn’t mean it anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 10:49 PM
12

Yeah this tells me... crying STARTS to make me have empathy for you so stop it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 10:48 PM
18

I’ve had men tell me “I can’t read your mind” and I was always like okkkkk I never was trying to communicate ANYTHING passively, you are like... searching for answers to something that I never asked... like they were trying to figure me out, figure out my rules when I had none cause I expected them to be their own person. The men are not mind readers thing means they’re sitting around waiting to be nagged to do something just to be pissed at being nagged at.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 10:47 PM
7

I can’t even read all this it makes me mad. Half of what I just read is passive aggressive shit my (male) ex did to me and not anything I ever did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 10:45 PM
8

I also love sex and have sworn it off. All the sex I’ve had for the past 20 years was sex being done TO me and any effort I put into trying to communicate or act in a way that fulfilled my desire was thwarted. It’s about control. Women are not pleased by being controlled and they only know their own sexuality through thinking about what they can get and what they can control, not as seeing it as a mutual experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 04:32 PM
13

Exactly. They’re lack of curiosity about what the problem could be IS the problem itself. Just going to this existential women are all a certain way is the problem keeping them from pleasing women. Empathy is required for sex and every single man I’ve ever met will argue sex is “physical” and an “urge” even though every doc will refer you to a psychologist if you have sexual problems, and say sexual dysfunction is an emotional problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 04:30 PM
11

I can’t believe so many men truly believe this. Like no critical thinking or any kind of curiosity about why women might be “different”... they just say oh they respond differently than I would must be something wrong with them. Not any kind of wondering what’s going on, wondering what the problem is, etc. It’s true women experience sex differently in our SOCIETY but why do they jump to this biological basis?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 04:28 PM
6

"Look I'm a nice guy..."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 03:41 PM
13

Yeah comparing the subs is comparing: "We deserve sex and rape should be a right!" to "Our partners should have income and text us back."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 01:09 PM
68

FDS is about appreciating men honestly. It’s about appreciating the HVM and returning the appreciation. There’s no equivalent to red pillers. They don’t have anything about women who are high value or high worth. It’s nothing about how they’re entitled to what they want. They spend more time obsessing over Chads than anything else. They’re all about how they’re not appreciated for existing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:58 PM
9

Every relationship I’ve had with men was “tell me what you want!” And then “I won’t do that.” So women don’t “communicate” cause they’re not listened to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:54 PM
12

They mean “men judge women by looks but literally nothing else”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 11:44 PM
5

I don't have a problem with him reaching out to me. I have the problem of reaching out to him. I've blocked him many times, just to unblock and pathetically beg for his attention again. I hate to admit it. I'm trying to just redirect my thoughts from him and remind myself of the shitty times every time I think of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 11:31 PM
5

Women are superficial but men are visual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 10:28 PM
7

Yes! And how she didn’t just go there and hate it and abandon her own life. They both needed to be free. “If you love something you set it free.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 10:17 PM
18

I'm really struggling with this. I have someone who disappears on me and then comes back with excuses and I've had it with him. I have stopped talking to him but I'm worried I'll break down cause he's still on my mind. I hope it will just get easier with time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:46 PM
85

This is something my 6 year old does when she's mad at me for not letting her stay up late or eat candy, destroy something of mine. And even for her I think it's pretty fucked up. And she's 6.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:31 PM
7

Yeah but her ditziness was charming, she was happy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 01:23 PM
8

Yeah and that episode where she learned how to just be alone was really cute
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 11:47 AM
163

The red pill subs will not even try to hide this. They’ll complain about superficial women only wanting Chads and in the same breath say, except the fat, ugly, or over 30 women of course. With no self-awareness at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 11:34 AM
9

Yes, Alexis's character was really well-done... at first I didn't like her and I love how she slowly realizes that she's going after shitty guys and learns to appreciate.. being appreciated. And she still ends up "alone" but she has bigger things ahead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 11:10 AM
79

“No things are equal now. You need to provide 50%.” Okay do 50% of the housework and child-rearing. While you’re add it be my servant 50% of the time too. “STOP NAGGING ME”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 05:02 PM
1

Tell me what to do/stop telling me what to do/tell me what to do/etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:16 PM
36

Oh same here! I joined a meditation group to deal with my irritation. One time he said or did something that frustrated me and I tried to calm down by meditating and he started MAKING FUN OF ME for meditating because it was clear that me being frustrated made him angry... and even my trying to meditate it away wasn't good enough for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 03:36 PM
61

they get mad at you for giving feedback that makes them realize their failures. Instead of working on their failures they shoot the messenger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 03:27 PM
73

Yeah I've gotten ALOT of "yeah well you chose to let him abuse you" which is true in a way, but I was trying to "work it out" and be empathetic and if I'd left right away I would have gotten a lot of "oh you overreacted" or that I was unfair to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 03:20 PM
13

Exactly, it's called empathy. Even if it's an "overreaction" it's a negative mental experience that a supportive partner should care about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 03:19 PM
55

I'm at the point where if I read the word "overreacting" I say dump him. Telling someone they're overreacting is them shifting the blame to you for showing a reaction to their shitty behavior. "Overreacting" is crying because you spilt milk. And even that would be shitty to have your partner say "god you're overreacting." There is no overreaction. A partner supports you when you're upset, doesn't tell you to stop having feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 02:11 PM
293

This is the "women can't win" situation. "Well it was rude to ask him what to do and it made him feel uncomfortable and controlled!" Ok next time she says nothing. "Well why didn't you just TELL me instead of playing games??" You can't win. I would be completely accepting and direct about shit like this and my ex would get mad. So I'd stop. Then he'd be mad that I wasn't being direct and telling him what to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 02:01 PM
3

So the male orgasm does more than the 18 years of mothering and nurturing children?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 04:07 AM
3

Getting tons of messages is not "having it easy." I've been OLD for 5 years and I am very good with keeping up with all my messages (which I don't do anymore of course.). I tried to give EVERY guy a chance. And when you are eager and ready to give them a try, they drop like fucking flies. This message is saying "trying to get people's attention who ignore you is hard work!" Because there are plenty of women giving them attention but then they stop being interested. They like the hard work. That'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 01:23 PM
6

This is so enraging. They are so self centered. They think "I wish tons of women would message me wanting sex" and women get tons of messages wanting sex so they "have it easy." A lot of women don't want that! They can't comprehend that women might have different life experiences and that tons of harassing, dehumanizing messages wanting sex and saying fucked up shit and dick pics is not "having it easy." And don't get me started on the unless you're old shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 01:21 PM
39

“Bargaining chip.” Yeah because he’s the one “bargaining” instead of committing. Once again it’s the results of his actions that he blames her from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 10:39 PM
138

I tried for 5 years to make the FWB thing actually work. I am busy and have a kid and am fine with having an intimate friendship without commitment. It is 100% about exploiting someone and NOT about having a FWB situation. No guy ever wanted to try to meet up on equal terms. They wanted it on the spot when they wanted it and would ignore me when I wanted it. They ALL played games: the entire point was to have a one sided relationship where they benefited and denied me. I tried this with 100s of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 10:30 PM
18

This woman one time pulled out her tampon and threw it at a crowd that was slinging mud at them and said “eat my used tampon motherfuckers!” And has refused to apologize for it. She’s my hero.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 09:57 PM
9

Yep. Total red flag to interpret someone pushing back at your behavior as being hurtful that you called attention to the consequences of their actions. This dude and this friend group will just do this about larger issues down the road and I’m impressed with her instincts here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 09:47 PM
47

That’s a very good point. I have tolerated so much abuse because people perceived me to be “starting drama” or being “offended” When I was being perfectly mature and assertive in stating my boundaries and displeasure with being treated badly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:30 PM
105

It seems like overreacting to her friends because they are not understanding her confidence and her trust in her instincts. This wouldn’t stop there, it would escalate into worse situations and her instincts are good ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:01 PM
72

If it bothered her it’s not overreacting. It would be overreacting if she was just having a bad day and it didn’t bother her. It clearly REALLY bothered her so she acted completely appropriately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:00 PM
2

Omg my ex would do this to me all the time! I would calmly tell him it’s irritating that when I’m cooking and busy making him dinner and when he grabs me, it’s not fun. He would listen and nod and fucking do it again next time. I started snapping at him STOP IT and then it would turn in to a fight about how I was rude to him. I would apologize. And he’d say thank you for your apology. It was so fucked up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 08:54 PM
39

Also men avoid relationships like the plague until they can't do the FWB thing with ease anymore. Then once they're in a relationship they don't want to go back to being alone again because they are addicted to sucking the life out of a partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 03:30 PM
53

They only take action when there’s a problem that affects them directly, I.e. her leaving. When she’s the “one with the problem” they don’t care and want to avoid the situation and just continue reaping the benefits of the one sided relationship because it’s not a “problem” for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 03:54 PM
3

Every argument with my ex became an argument about what was said and analyzing conversations to the point where I couldn’t even remember reality anymore
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 01:02 PM
14

He was "gaslit" when reminded it was his idea. He wasn't "gaslit" he just got a wake up call that the world doesn't revolve around him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:20 PM
5

It’s almost as if we’re doing the same things to each other.
/r/MGTOW223/09/20 11:24 PM
1

And men are taught from a young age that women are selfish gold diggers and it turns out they aren’t and they don’t appreciate the nurturing and attention until it’s gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:15 PM
5

Women want marriage cause they have an unrealistic view of what marriage is. Men don’t want marriage because they have an unrealistic view of what it is. Once they’re in it and see what it does for them, they can’t let go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 12:46 AM
64

Then when they go "psycho" on you that's what you get for wanting a dependent woman who is okay with living in a prison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 02:42 PM
107

They want women to not be people. They want their porn fantasies on demand when they order it and then to not be bothered later on when the realities of what that means sets in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 02:42 PM
23

No we have joint custody. It was an abusive relationship I didn't notice until I got out. He manipulated me into signing away my rights so I'm stuck in this situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:03 PM
37

I have been trying to no avail for years to talk to my daughter's dad about how constantly punishing our daughter for bad behavior is setting her up for an abusive relationship. Instead you model the behavior you want to see and are loving. He thinks that's "letting her get away" with stuff. It breaks my heart that I didn't see all this before and now I'm stuck with him parenting her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:35 PM
3

Also if you have a pet, you do everything you can to protect it from predators. Because predators are a problem, not the animal itself. No one blames prey for being “slow runners” in the biological world?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:58 AM
1

This is a great example of scapegoating women. It’s all about the “unfair blame” by society (women of course). Instead of, we really need to protect children from pedophiles and rapists. If that didn’t happen the stigma wouldn’t exist. They’re more upset with the stigma hurting them rather than the children whose are raped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:03 PM
5

Also the “trust me.” That always comes from a liar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:56 PM
1

I misunderstood because of the comments below. I apologize. Thanks for being so polite about it; it really keeps the discussion civil and respectful.
/r/MensRights24/02/11 08:25 PM
13

If I have sex with you because I think you're rich and I only have sex with rich people, and it turns out you aren't, is that rape? Or any similar such thing.
/r/MensRights24/02/11 07:54 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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