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backstabber81 Archive

View 5 posts and 225 comments by backstabber81 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Dr. K comes to mind
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 01:21 AM
0

If she wants to date, she will make herself approachable. Whether that's going on dating apps or going out (not necessarily to a bar)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:45 PM
1

If you go to bars hoping to meet women but you don't like bars, you're going to meet people you don't have much in common with. Like, your match is probably spending Friday night cozy at home, not in a bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:22 PM
6

Being an introvert isn't a choice, it's genetics and brain chemistry. What you're describing sounds like social anxiety. An introvert can go out and have friends, but they'll generally feel tired / drained afterwards vs feeling recharged.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:20 PM
–

Being a decent person might be enough to keep someone long term, but getting the initial traction is the challenge. If you don't catch someone's attention in some way at first, they won't get to know the positive qualities that make a good partner. From what I understand, guys often complain more (at least here) about the difficulty of finding a girlfriend, not keeping her.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:22 PM
–

They can but OP makes it sound like they aren't open to the idea. It's either a girlfriend or angry singles.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 06:00 PM
–

The gender ratio is not 50/50, especially with young people. No matter how hard some people try, there aren't enough young women for all the young men out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:21 PM
–

In most western countries there are significantly more young men than young women, and then, women can choose to date each other or stay single. It's inevitable that some men will always stay single (as well as some women). There's only so much one can do against biology so you might as well try to be happy and if you get lucky, great, but if you don't it sounds miserable to spend your life complaining about dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:19 PM
0

I might be wrong but people on dating apps are normally open to date. In real life women might not be open to that unless they’re sending some pretty big hints.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 09:45 PM
-2

Yes, I do know them. It's a common occurrence if you leave your room often enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:27 AM
-1

Yes..? That’s having a social life, you have friends, go to places, parties and you get introduced to new people, occasionally single women. I’ve had relationships with women start this way, but I’m not a man so maybe it doesn’t count.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:59 PM
2

Hell no, I don’t shit where I eat. My primary intention when going out to do activities is to have fun not have people hitting on me out of the blue. If I make friends AND it progresses that’s very different from going to an activity like you’d go to a club looking for hookups. I’ve had friendships develop into relationships after months/years of knowing each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:56 PM
4

Yeah well, I'm there to play not to date. If I hit it off with someone there and go out afterwards, that's a different story but it's very obvious in meetups who's there because they genuinely enjoy the activity vs who's there scouting for a girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:57 PM
7

That’s fine, but there’s a time and a place for that. And it’s not DnD nights.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:21 PM
14

Gen Z woman here. It's very uncomfortable to be doing a group activity and knowing half the people are there looking for a date and not actually doing the activity. I've had to stop going to some places and doing activities I used to enjoy because I got hit on and it threw the entire vibe off. I think a lot of people get it wrong, you're not supposed to go to an activity or meetup to find a date, but to meet people and expand your social circle. Straight men won't introduce you to single female …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:23 PM
–

Don’t you think women getting pickier about who they have sex with would increase sexual assault rate and frustration for men though?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:57 PM
–

Those are solid measures, bringing back third spaces would do a lot of heavy lifting with loneliness. Sex education needs a major reform, and of course support for families would probably help a lot with birth rates, especially with people who are on the fence mainly due to financial aspects.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:10 PM
3

Radicalizing isn't even necessary. If 10-20% of young men decide to join MGTOW and leave the dating market, that'd make dating a bit more balanced for the remaining young men. In most of the world are more young men than young women (except war-torn countries) both because birth rates skew that way and immigration trends. The dating culture might change if suddenly there's a shortage of young men, women might become more proactive when it comes to dating...Or maybe they just engage in lesbian re…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 02:29 PM
2

No, I don’t enjoy casual sex because a strong emotional connection is required on my end to enjoy it. If I want an orgasm I just use a vibrator, takes 5 minutes, doesn’t get tired and I don’t have to worry about my safety, STDs or pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 03:27 PM
7

Yes, but that’s because all my exes are women so logistically it’s quite different.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 03:25 PM
12

Isn’t modern dating essentially going back to natural selection? Most women will only go through the hassle of dating and having kids with men they really like. Like, I used to be super happy single and all my needs were taken care of. No, I didn’t get laid at all outside of a relationship. My vibrator got me off just fine, I had lots of hobbies, a great friend network… I only went back into dating because I met a guy I really liked and he made me happier than I was by myself. That’s it. If I wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:23 PM
1

First kiss at 17. First relationship at 17. I've been in 3 serious relationships, and a few ones that didn't work out after the first few dates. 2 years I find it depends. Whenever I've been single I've had a lot of fun studying, learning, trying out new activities and hobbies...I'd have been happy to stay single for longer, but I wanted a life companion. I find the best experiences I've had have been WITH a partner, going out on a vacation is x10 better with them, having a tasty meal feels bett…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 08:50 PM
30

Older men might want young women, but that doesn’t meen young women want them 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:46 AM
1

Lowering their standards if they're unrealistic is valid advice, but if they're asking for the bare minimum (don't be a hobo, have a job and some hygiene) they can probably get some good compatible options if they're patient. Most couples I see irl aren't models, they're average people with average jobs and average height. I'm sure the infamous top 20% men get their share of options but it's not a prerequisite to find a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 09:33 PM
2

I think more than hate, many men resent women. Women complain about men but it's normally about particular subgroups: gym bros, fuckboys, incels, etc. whereas I'm under the impression men criticize and generalize about women as if we're all the same, ex. we all want a guy +6ft tall, with abs and a 6-figure job (I'm sure many ladies here have bfs/husbands who don't check any of those boxes). I don't know a single guy with a wife/girlfriend that openly criticizes women as a group, someone that's o…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 07:18 PM
–

Flair checks out
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 09:50 PM
–

If I recall correctly, the birth ratio is roughly 105 boys per 100 girls (in some countries, especially in Asia the discrepancy is higher due to selective abortion). A single guy technically can have thousands of children, but there are only so many children each woman can have so from a self-preservation perspective it's always made sense to protect women and children as entire lineages depended on that. It's a sad plight now we can't get our foot even in the door nowadays. And our longstanding…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 07:53 PM
3

Not quite your target audience since I've mostly dated women but Guys: 1. OLD Women: 2. Discord 3. Online 4. Through friends 22-27 age bracket, all sex has been in committed relationships lasting between 6 months - 5 years
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 06:50 PM
–

This might be a fucked up view, but isn't this how natural selection works? Historically most men haven't reproduced but most women have (in modern context, that just means getting laid since we have birth control). For centuries, this was somewhat softened by suppressing women's rights, basically forcing them to marry a man and have his kids. But in the developed world women can support themselves and can be as picky as they want with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 06:43 PM
–

This. Having casual sex as a woman has a very negative stigma that can ruin future serious relationships. It almost feels like every time a woman has casual sex, her 'value' goes down by a bit, who'd want that for themselves? It's just a much better investment to get yourself a vibrator and call it a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 06:36 PM
1

He looks a bit like a younger Noel Gallagher with a shaggy middle part. He’s not very tall or muscular.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 04:17 PM
5

Which point is not?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 02:53 PM
7

I met my boyfriend on a dating app. He messaged me something funny, and I got curious so I matched with him. Before you say it's bs, Hinge kinda lets you message people before you match with them. And no, he's not +6ft, doesn't make 6 figures and does not have a 6pack. Again, I just found him funny and he was attractive to me. I wasn't very picky either, I just wanted someone who wanted something serious and at least had some sort of job stability which is the same I offer and it's not a big ask…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 02:22 PM
2

I think being around normal women more adds more nuance to some red pill takes. For some guys, their idea of the average woman might be the sprinkle sprinkle girly or the Tik Tok stay at home girlfriends.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 02:05 PM
8

Anecdotal, but the most successful guy I know with women is a Starbucks barista in his late 20s who does standup comedy on his free time. You don't need to be a 'finished product' to date around.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 02:02 PM
–

The guys might genuinely not consider their situationships girlfriends, so they think they’re being honest
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 04:46 AM
8

I think a guy might report himself as single even if he’s dating but he isn’t very serious about it, and the woman he’s dating might take the relationship more seriously and report herself as partnered. It would be a lot more accurate if we classified people based on whether they are married, ltr, cohabitating, casually dating AND single / not looking. Guys that date casually might be dating like 3 women and each one of them considers herself the guy’s gf, but he doesn’t consider any of the 3 as…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 05:14 AM
19

I suspect that for like 1/3 of those guys that report being single there would be a very angry woman to hear that
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 04:17 AM
–

I believe that's true, but what's the endgame? Undesirable men will either become NEETs or GTOW and remove themselves from the equation, regular and top guys will keep partnering up, it's pretty similar to how natural selection goes. For centuries men's desirability was inflated via suppressing women's rights but now that in the developed world that's no longer a thing, the bar to be a desirable has moved up from "don't be a deadbeat" to "have something very charming to stand out" whether that's…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 07:02 PM
–

26F here, most people in my circle (28-34yo bracket) are either partnered, engaged or married, a few even have kids. I only know one man who is single and he's not even trying to date. Having said that, a lot of younger people grew up with messy divorces in their families and they don't want to risk the same happening to them. What they don't understand is, dating without getting married but otherwise getting a house together and having kids is even more messy if a breakup were to happen. Marria…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 04:19 PM
1

I frequent the r/Waiting_To_Wed subreddit and this comes up often, HOWEVER, it's often in a different context. There are things you probably shouldn't do without being married, like buying a house together or having kids, because legally it can get very messy. Divorce can be awful, sure, but a messy breakup with a house and kids is a lot, lot more messy as there isn't a legal contract dictating how you'll split your assets. And if you decide to spend money in lawyers to get a POA, Cohabitation A…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 04:46 PM
7

When dating be upfront about wanting to be a SAHD? It might be a dealbreaker for some women, just like it is for some men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 07:12 AM
7

That’s the plan! My partner wants to be a stay at home dad and I’ll fully support him.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 07:01 AM
46

So, men get to be tired after work but women don’t? Then I imagine you guys would be happy to fully financially support your wives to stay home and do all the chores, right? I know I wouldn’t want to work full time and then have to do all the chores as well, like, at that point I’d rather be single and do chores for just one person, not two. I make my own money so a man’s financial support doesn’t mean much.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 06:37 AM
33

I'm honestly fine with them. But I do find a bit hypocritical the rants about women wanting transactional relationships when they go to 3rd world countries to be with women whose main reason to be with them is because they see them as a walking ATM/Green Card Ticket. Like...How is that's not transactional...? At least *most* western women can provide for themselves and if they're with you it's probably because they really want to, not out of need. But I admit I'm very biased because I personally…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 06:07 PM
–

TIL most men historically haven’t been able to reproduce. Today I also learned why that’s a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 03:12 AM
1

They say that if I speak Spanish I’m Latino regardless of my looks. But Latin America is a whole different continent so it confused me at first (still does, but I don’t question it anymore). Idk man, the US is weird. Nowhere in Europe that I know of they make you list your ethnicity in paperwork, everyone is so mixed up.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 11:28 PM
1

I know how to locate my home country, thanks for the concern though. Personally, I’m pale as a ghost but in the US I’ve always been told to indicate I’m Latino in any forms that make you list your background.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 11:11 PM
1

Go live in Asia as a non white man This is pretty anecdotal, but I once met a guy from Spain who lived in Korea and he said it was almost like women threw themselves at him over there. I don't think he was lying about it since his Korean wife confirmed sometimes he still gets attention even though he's taken. But that really depends on your definition of white, I know in the US being European doesn't automatically make you white (I think? please correct me if I'm wrong).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 09:29 PM
7

A few years ago, it took me about a month, I was 24. Although I got a fair amount of interest on apps, I only went on two dates. Now I’m permanently off the dating market but if I were single I think I’d find a good match within 6 months.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 11:17 PM
–

Good for you! I take that if more men give up on dating, the competition for women will be a bit more balanced, making it easier for other guys? It’s a win-win.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 07:06 PM
1

I’m a lurker in that subreddit. What happens 99% of the time is that the man doesn’t propose anyway. After that, one of 3 things happen: A) the man then goes surprised pikachu when the girlfriend goes through with the ultimatum and leaves B) the girlfriend doesn’t go through with the ultimatum and it all starts over again C) the girlfriend gets a shut up ring It’s also very common for the guy to marry the “next girl” after 1-2 years of dating whereas they dragged their feet with their ex for +5 …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 04:33 PM
25

Ah, the waiting to wed subreddit is quite depressing. So many women who are blind to being VERY OBVIOUSLY strung along. The problem there is not that the men don’t want to marry though, is that they aren’t honest about it unless they’re cornered.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 01:39 PM
0

I can talk with younger and older people about pretty much anything and be friends, but they are not dates. When you're dating someone you need to get along, but also have to consider your shared goals, values and compatibility. And even if you have things to talk about, the age gap shows in many ways that you might not notice immediately. This is from personal experience: You can't build a life with someone who wants very different future from yours. Marriage and starting a family are dealbreak…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 05:46 PM
3

This. Dating is not a mathematical formula. Most couples I know are in the same life stage, get along and share things in common. It's as simple as that. I tried dating someone slightly younger in my early 20s and I just couldn't, I felt more like a mom than a partner and it was a small age gap! So I can't imagine what it'd be like to be 30yo, with a full time job, bills, responsibilities and dating a 20yo that's in college and has very little life experience. What would we even talk about? Tik …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 03:10 PM
20

Part of being compatible with someone is to share something, whether that's values, hobbies, similar personalities...Also, people in happy relationships don't go posting online about how happy they are with their partner, people who want to vent are a lot more likely to do it. Having nerdy hobbies is not a dealbreaker for most people these days, I think in the 2000s there was some negative stigma equating nerds to losers, but nowadays being a nerd is almost trendy. I guess it also depends on the…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 01:54 PM
2

Well, it’s my preference, you don’t have to share it! I personally just like softer man, not obese but not skinny or muscular. And I say this as a gym nut that works out pretty much every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 06:19 PM
0

Well, I had the decency to attach a picture of what I consider a dad bod: some fat, some muscle. I suppose everyone draws the line between dad bod and chubby at some point. There’s no hard body fat % to divide that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 03:44 PM
4

I've said I prefer chubby guys or guys with a dad bod, they're not the same thing! Dad bods by definition have noticeable muscle mass, they just have a body fat level that makes them not look as shredded as a guy at 10% body fat.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 03:16 PM
3

I'm not exactly sure what dad bod means The phrase has been adopted in American culture to describe the physique of a man who was once athletic, or moderately fit, but now has a "beer belly" or "spare tire" (i.e., he has gained a noticeable amount of body fat around the waist as he aged, leading to abdominal obesity), but the arms, legs, and chest are usually in relatively good shape. Source
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 03:14 PM
5

In America maybe that’s considered fit, but where I’m from that’s definitely considered fat. Hell, even women over 100lbs are considered chubby-ish.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 02:42 PM
3

Came across this clip of a woman who had turned 40 and was starting to feel less attractive and invisible to men. It got me to thinking... The thing that stands out to me is this section. Why would a 40yo woman care about being invisible to men? Sure, if you're young and looking to settle down it can be an issue, but at that age - unless the woman is extremely picky- most women who want a LTR are already in one. And the ones that are single or divorced and looking for one, are probably not inter…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 02:40 PM
1

I've gone from skinny fat to fit. I have a preference for dad bods and slightly chubby guys, but it's not a hard limit. Height has never been important to me, I've dated people from 4'11 to 6ft without any issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 01:04 PM
-2

First of all, emotional labor isn't just about emotions. The term was intended to include the managing and micromanaging the household. You have to remember the dates, write grocery shopping list, making doctor appointments etc. I'm going to ignore this part further, as it seems you're talking strictly about emotions. This. I have 0 issues with the emotional part. I can listen to my friends/partner vent for hours and if they request it, advise them as needed. If it's one-sided, yeah, there's an …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 01:38 PM
1

The only real issue I see with age gaps are if the people involved are in different life stages. Women in their 30s try to date men around their age or older because at that age, they're probably looking to find a husband and start a family, so they look for people who are mature and ready for that commitment. A woman in her 30s looking to start a family, very likely won't be up for dating a 20yo who's still in college. For men, it's not as much of a big deal, but to me it's a bit of a red flag …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 02:30 PM
5

Honestly? On a dating app. One of my exes I met online, on a server about comics. My other ex I met through friends from school.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 05:15 PM
4

Bisexual here. There's the stigma that bisexual women and men always end up with men, so many don't even bother. This is very prevalent with lesbians, lots of stories about lesbians losing their partner to a man. Or how bisexuals have a lesbian phase but end up settling down with a man. With men, I think it's different, it's more about how for a man it's a lot easier to get laid and have sex with other men than with women, so I can see why women would feel insecure. Obviously it's a lot more com…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 03:15 PM
3

Because women's beauty standards favour being slender, which can be easily achieved through diet alone. If a man looks muscular, it looks nice. If a woman looks visibly muscular, a lot of men are gonna be put off by that, not everyone is into the muscle mommy type. Also, a lot of women do work out but the kinds of workouts they do don't result in very visible physical changes, like running, yoga, pilates...Those keep them in good shape but they won't magically bulk up like a man does when he lif…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 02:33 PM
3

This, I can't imagine going through an entire pregnancy, being exhausted after giving birth and have my partner telling me he wants a DNA test. I'd either feel like he's accusing me of cheating and having the malice to pass another man's child as his or feel like he's trying to bail and looking for any excuses to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 01:41 PM
8

Okay, so do we need to choose better or lower our standards, which one is it? Most friends, boyfriends/girlfriends were strangers at one point, when you're using a dating app you're meeting strangers, when a friend introduces you to someone, they're strangers, cold approaching fails more often because when people are hanging out with friends or a dating app they're a lot more likely to be receptive to meeting new people than if they're just trying to enjoy their coffee in peace. We're 8 billion …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 05:56 PM
–

This, a lot of women aren't interested in marriage or kids, love the DINK lifestyle, but many others are and it sucks to be strung along when you have a very real bio clock ticking. Taking a look at r/Waiting_To_Wed is fucking heartbreaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 05:48 PM
–

You're right, there's nothing wrong with being single. But saying that you don't want marriage because is divorce is kinda like saying you don't want to live because of death (death is 100% guaranteed btw, divorce isn't), being single because you want to and you love your independence is great, but if you're just scared of relationships that's a different story. I think there's been a huge shift in how society sees being single, it used to be more frowned upon but these days I think society does…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 05:46 PM
8

That's budget Caitlyn from Arcane/League of Legends! I have a full collection: <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 03:51 PM
24

Maybe I'm high maintenance, I don't have any issues with being low maintenance but my issue is when my partner grows too complacent. I take great care to be consistent, to put the same effort into my relationships early on as I'll do years in. I think it's my duty to stay the same person my partner fell in love with, and I make an effort to do so. Of course people change and grow, but the effort I put into the relationship remains the same, I don't want to ever feel like I pulled off a bait and …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 01:45 PM
6

Nothing wrong with that, as long as they live with their parents for a reason (ex. taking care of them, saving up for their own house...) I think it's okay, it's only an issue for me if the guys are NEETs and their parents do everything for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 02:29 PM
0

In Canada,where I live you don’t need to have been married to get spousal support. If a common-law couple (aka living together for +1 year) split up after let’s say, 5 years and there’s a significant income difference between them, after the breakup the spouse that makes less can demand spousal support for a certain amount of time while they get back on their feet. It’s a thing, you can look it up. And like I said, no marriage required. If it’s a marriage-like relationship, you get marriage-like…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 01:52 AM
2

I just don’t see why my personal life is relevant to my job, my boss can tell me what to do at the office but not outside of it. Sharing personal things at work seems IMO a potential liability. More power to the people being preferred! But I’m choosing my privacy, thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 09:43 PM
2

I could just say we eloped and that we didn’t have a wedding, it’s not like I invited all of my coworkers but my boss. And if I get shit for something personal I did outside of work, I’m probably better off working elsewhere. At work, I work, not gossip. Most people don’t even know my age or my marital status there because that’s none of their business and it’s not relevant to my job or performance. None of my grandparents were married, if they were alive, they’d be hypocrites to get upset over …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 09:21 PM
2

Fair point. If you want to be completely free to do as you please, it’s better to stay single.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 09:01 PM
3

What social consequences? This might depend on the culture, but my parents eloped and no one threw a tantrum over it. I plan to elope as well and I don’t see anyone complaining questioning my choice, if anything I’ve been told that’s a smart decision as it allows to save money for a down payment or investing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 08:57 PM
3

This is anecdotal, but I moved out to a different continent at 18 and I've lived alone for all of my adult life until now. I've found that adjusting to living with a partner is barely an adjustment. We're keeping our finances separate so I can't comment on that though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 08:40 PM
1

But I want to, too
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 08:37 PM
1

I'm not worried about complications, where I live now people traditionally change their last names, and when in Rome do as Romans do. My current last name is a huge legal hassle, I can't wait to change it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 08:28 PM
1

The poster was listing it as a downside of marriage, so I was under the impression she’d like to do it if it didn’t affect her professionally. Where I’m from people don’t change their last names to begin with, but I know in some anglo countries is somewhat a big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 08:23 PM
0

Why can't I say divorce though? Because divorce is a byproduct of ceasing to be married, not marriage itself. If the relationship isn't working while unmarried, the worst case scenario is someone has to find a new living arrangement. It depends on where you live, in many places you become common-law by default after cohabitating for a while, so if your partner has contributed to the house value (ex. helping pay for renovations) they're entitled to some equity. Similarly, if you have kids togethe…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 08:22 PM
3

I’m just saying this because I have an ethnic last name and I just go by a different one in my cv, social media, etc. When doing legal paperwork they normally have a section where they ask for your preferred name, but that depends on where you live.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:58 PM
2

Off-topic, but if you legally change your name you can still use your maiden name as a pen name, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:53 PM
2

I guess that depends on the couple, open marriages are a thing. But if you're monogamous and faithful then I guess that's a no. Having said that, I'd say most single people don't get to have sex with everyone they're attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:52 PM
3

It’s sad, but no one can take from you all the good times and experiences you’ve shared, and if you have kids together, you’ll always get to see small bits of your spouse in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:48 PM
2

That's completely fair. I'd say that some issues, like dead bedrooms and infidelity are rarely just that but have root causes that can be tackled before they become an issue. Is there a dead bedroom because one of the partners feels unattractive? Health issues? Medication? Pregnancy? Or, if there's infidelity, why did one of the spouses cheat? Did they not feel loved enough? Weren't they satisfied with the sex life...? That's where communication comes in, you try tackling those things before the…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:46 PM
1

I guess it’s a matter of preference, I’ve had a great time being single and “free” but I definitely prefer the companionship and comfort of being in a relationship, so those sacrifices feel worth it to me. Obviously some people will prefer the single lifestyle, nothing wrong with that!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:35 PM
3

I mean, this should be up to the couple getting married and not everyone else. If the couple wants a big wedding, great! If they just want to elope that’s great too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:30 PM
3

The major risk is the right person turning into a wrong one though. Could you please elaborate on this a bit? From what I understand, people normally get married when they're comfortable with each other, have shared goals and are mature enough. For example, if two financially responsible people marry, it seems unlikely that one of them will magically become a big impulse spender. I just used finances because it's often listed as one of the main reasons for divorce, but it applies to other aspect…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:28 PM
-1

No, I like to have sex when I’m in a relationship, and I need to be in a relationship for a while before considering marriage so unless it’s for religious reasons, a guy wouldn’t stay a virgin for very long if I’m dating him.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 05:55 PM
1

I’ve seen so many women say that bars, clubs, cafés, book stores make good places to meet women but I’ve also equally seen women say that they don’t want to be approached in public regardless of the location, even if it’s at a bar. I think the problem is that a lot of people lack the social skills or awareness to properly read the room. If you see a cute girl in the bus, wearing headphones and focused on her phone, well, it's probably safe to assume she doesn't want to be bothered. But if she's …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 08:47 PM
2

No, quite the opposite. I kept thinking I should have broken up sooner, I tolerated and normalized a lot of behaviours that should be completely unacceptable in a relationship. My ex on the other hand, promised the world, "I'll change" and all of those things they say to get back together. I didn't buy it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 04:15 PM
4

The logic of "I go to the gym 5 days per week and I am lean or muscular, so my equal is someone who does the same" does not work. I think something important to consider here is the physical attractiveness standards for each gender. A thin woman with an average face will be a lot more desirable than her male counterpart. A skinny woman is desirable, a skinny man, not so much. Now, in terms of fitness, there are a LOT more gym bros than fit girls, and fit girls are in a lot more demand than fit g…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 02:52 PM
2

I've dated men and women, generally, all I care about is that they have a job with some sort of career progression. Basically, don't be a bum with a dead-end job, have some sort of plan for the future. In general, if a person is capable of supporting themselves and saving a bit every month, that meets the financial criteria (I bring the same to the table). They don't need to be rich or anything, all I ask is that they can afford our joint outings, occasional vacation, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 02:41 PM
3

Dude stop projecting. I’ve been partnered for years, I literally got into a relationship with the first guy who didn’t ghost me or stood me up on a date, whoever you’re complaining about isn’t me. I’m not the target audience of your incel rant. And yeah, I prefer to be alone than with someone I don’t want to be with. I’ve been very happy single, and I’ve been also very happy dating other women, currently dating a man. When I’ve been single it’s always been by choice, not because of lack of optio…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 01:17 AM
1

Wanting to have a partner and not wanting to babysit another person isn’t hypergamy
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 10:06 PM
0

In short? Choose better so they don't waste time in dead-end situationships. Or be comfortable being single so they don't feel the need to settle and can take their time finding the right person. Being single is a lot better than being stuck unhappy relationship or marriage just because they were scared to end up alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 08:55 PM
1

I think they struggle to find good matches who will commit to them. Situationships are rampant, finding hookups for example is very easy, but finding a partner with mutual attraction, similar core values, dating compatibility AND willingness to commit is very hard. I think that when going into dating, women need to ask themselves if the person they're seeing is going to make their life better or not. Do you appreciate their company? Are they a functional adult that can take care of themselves? A…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 01:32 PM
3

A rarity
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 01:28 PM
1

My first thought would be that I probably won't meet his standards either so I shouldn't bother pursuing that or that they're incredibly nitpicky and the women who meet said standards won't put up with it for long.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 03:49 PM
3

Hey, the "westernized" thing is very real, maybe not at first but within a few years it does happen. And this isn't a new thing. My father was a pioneer passport bro back in the 90s, I've had time to see how it plays out over the span of 26 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 03:08 PM
1

I find that putting in a lot of effort in my relationships often leads to me being taken for granted. That doesn't stop me from doing it, but it's an observation.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 02:35 PM
3

Spot on. I'm curious to see what % of people +30 are single and looking to date, and their gender. In my experience, women in their late 20s/early 30s are mostly single because: a) They spent most of their 20s in a LTR and broke up, so now they're back in the market b) They were career-focused and didn't date c) They don't want to date The women in the first two categories I know don't struggle to date, but struggle to find good matches as they have less tolerance for bs and won't overlook thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 02:29 PM
12

Most people's first relationships are not the last, and after a certain age I think women are not willing to take the gamble of being a "practice girlfriend." Some women might take it as a red flag "if no one wants to date him, that's for a reason" and might be wary over it. It's not necessarily a red flag or anything, but to me, relationship experience is important in the sense that you learn and grow so much from relationships. They teach you communication, compromise, conflict resolution...No…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:12 PM
5

Lesbian couples also tend to move a lot faster in relationships (see uhaul lesbians), I know a bunch of them that married within 2 years of dating whereas my straight friends tend to date 3-5 years before even proposing. Rushing a relationship can result in marrying the wrong partner. Also, lesbian bed death.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 02:43 PM
10

Oh, I agree with you. When I'm dating women, I assume I'll have to be in charge of the courting or it won't be happening at all. It's curious, when pursuing lesbians I feel like there's more of a push and pull between us, when pursuing a bi woman, I'm under the impression I have to make the first move and make sure to actively 'chase' them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 02:34 PM
2

I wouldn't assume relationship intentions based on pictures, but I used them to determine potential compatibility. For example, I don't drink, so seeing a guy's profile where he's holding a drink in every picture could make me think we wouldn't be a good match. Hinge makes you list your relationship intentions, so I exclusively focused on people stating they wanted a LTR which really helped narrow things down. I haven't but my friends have tried other apps, like Tinder which doesn't have this fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:36 PM
3

When I was on apps, I saw lots of guys posting shirtless pics but pretty tastefully done, like they'd be in the beach with friends or climbing shirtless, I think that's a subtler way to show your physique while achieving the same effect. I think my friends associated gym pics with gym bros looking for quick hookups, so I wonder.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:48 PM
1

Oh God I can relate to the unicorn hunters bit! The worst part is that those girls are gorgeous. The boyfriends not so much. With women, I've gotten rejected for being a gemini and one time a girl unmatched me because her ex gf proposed, having a bigger dating pool requires having a lot of patience too.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:46 PM
6

I find this curious, because all of my girl-friends tend to hate when they see gym pics on dating apps, but also they like dating fit guys so it's a bit of a contradiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:17 PM
1

So, would you say getting a decent amount of matches has made you more selective?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:16 PM
2

The effort into conversations, you mean like them replying with yes/no or one line answers? I've found a lot of people don't know how to ask questions or lead in conversations
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 04:58 PM
-1

I actually agree with this, I think that rather than being in an unhappy relationship where you're not that into your partner / they're not that into you it's a lot better to be single. But that's not how it works. A lot of people simply don't know how to be alone, and it goes for both genders, I think we all know a serial dater that never stays single for long. This is a generalization, but the problem seems to be that women in general are fine being single if they can't find a good relationshi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 06:19 PM
1

This is completely anecdotal, I'm okay with dating apps and I think they're a good way to meet people you wouldn't be able to meet organically. I've only tried Hinge, within the first 24hrs I got +100 likes and a few matches, then I paused the app because it was just too much. It was very overwhelming, I was able to sort through all my likes and talk to my matches. Of all the people I talked, I was able to secure 3 dates, the first one wasn't great, the guy didn't seem very interested. I got sto…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 04:46 PM
2

I do have to agree that more than just being in good shape, keeping good physical fitness generally means the person has a certain amount of discipline and self-control by default, which are desirable qualities. But also, I don't know, I think that when you start dating someone you're supposed to at least attempt to stay in a similar shape to how you were at the start of the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 07:40 PM
2

I’d rather be alone than being with someone that doesn’t really want to be with me, tbh. I’ve been very happy being single, and very happy in a relationship. Being single is a lot better than being in a bad relationship where we’re both unhappy. Having said that, a relationship takes work but it shouldn’t feel like an obligation. You gain weight? Well, lose it. Put in the work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 07:16 PM
1

Valentine's Day happens to be my boyfriend's birthday, so it is very, very much for him and not for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:56 PM
1

As a woman, I probably wouldn't have minded dating someone like that when I was 20 and I was still in school. But at 35 it comes across as a big red flag, not because of the job itself - not everyone is a doctor / engineer / IT professional - but because of what it says about him (lack of ambition, lack of direction in life...). If he was actively going to school to get a better-paid job or tried to work more hours, I'd be fine with it. But if he's content with his current situation, not so much…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:36 PM
–

Dude they're trying to take advantage of you, there must be something about you that gives off a simp vibe or something so you're attracting these kind of women. Just keep declining. I've never had that happen to me, I've dated both men and women and they've always offered to split the bill, no one has ever asked me to buy them anything and I haven't asked either. Generally you'd expect grown adults to be able to pay for their expenses and stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 02:54 PM
14

Same with open relationships, Reddit is full of stories of couples where they opened the relationship and the woman ends up sleeping around easily and the man not so much. If you're in a relationship and want to sleep around, what the f are you doing in a relationship to begin with? Break up and go do your thing guilt-free, without lies and all the bs. If the attractive woman is a once in a lifetime opportunity and a better option, you won't have a problem leaving your current partner, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 09:18 PM
5

I think there's a difference between what you're describing and high/low maintenance women. Having kids outside of marriage, in general, is not that great of an idea. Like it or not, marriage gives you a bunch legal protections, both for you and the kid. I don't think I even need to elaborate on that because it's just how it is. Now, when it comes to high/low maintenance women, I haven't seen them argue whatsoever. The kind of guys high maintenance women want are probably different from wha the …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 03:24 PM
1

I’m a woman, I live in Canada and I have an office job where I don’t really sweat. I still shower every day. Sometimes twice if I work out. I don’t care as much about the odor as I care about being clean in general, I don’t like the feeling of going to bed and sticking the grime and sweat of my day in there even if it’s very little. It’s a personal preference, I’d be grossed out by my partner if they didn’t do the same, but I’m sure there are women out there that are perfectly fine with that, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 03:42 PM
10

I'm very nerdy and I'm into nerds as well, there's a surprising amount of guys I've met that are fine not showering every day, letting their beard grow wild (in a scruffy pube way, not the sexy lumberjack way) and who don't bother styling their hair at all. Basic hygiene is easy enough for most, but I've found a lot of guys neglect their grooming which makes them look worse. Things like letting an unibrow grow, not taking care of their beard, walking around with dead skin on their face...(come o…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:13 PM
8

If they’re in a committed relationship that’s normal
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 11:56 PM
2

Eh, I dated a woman with anger control issues and while she didn't hit me or cheat on me, she'd get really pissed if I suggested therapy. It takes two to make it work.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 09:49 PM
3

I'd rather be single tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 09:39 PM
2

I know a single mom by choice (she's in her late 20s though), she had a bizarre medical emergency when younger and learned she might not be able to have kids if she waited too long, so she got pregnant using an anonymous donor from a sperm bank and now has a 3yo boy. She makes bank though and can afford it. She didn't try dating again until last year, but she seemed to be doing pretty well and received good attention. She's been dating a guy now for a while and they seem serious so I'd say she's…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:13 PM
1

I've never experienced a libido drop happening to me, but it's happened to all of my partners - men and women - over time. I've just assumed it is how it is, so I don't try to fight it anymore. Instead I'm looking at birth control / meds that can help lower my libido so I'm more likely to match my partner's libido. For reference, I wouldn't say I'm very high libido, I'd like sex 3-4 times a week but I understand that might be too much to ask so I'll settle for whatever I can get.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 03:26 PM
1

I'm very honest about it, when I started dating my boyfriend I disclosed he was the first guy I'd ever been with and that I didn't have clue about what I was doing. With women I didn't feel the need to disclose unless asked, they didn't really care.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 03:18 PM
19

Have you ever watched 90 Day Fiancé? As soon as non-western women get to a western country, they start expecting the same living standards as a local (if not more).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 02:42 PM
-1

Why'd men want attention from women they're not attracted to though?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 03:53 PM
4

By developing a good self esteem that doesn’t rely on external validation, for one
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 09:36 PM
0

Yeah, but at the end of the day if you’re looking to be serious you’ll likely just end up with one (unless you’re poly), or spend some time filtering through them to see which one is the best fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 09:35 PM
2

Relationship sex, I've never had casual sex - nothing against it, just not my thing - but my friends who do tend to say casual sex is mediocre at best. I find that when I'm in a relationship, sex gets better over time as we get to know each other better and what we like so I think it makes sense that for women at least, the quality of sex is better in relationships. Men might flip flop more because they get to come either way (?).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 02:14 PM
2

I personally don't watch porn, and I generally don't care if my partner does. I say generally because in the past I've felt pretty annoyed when my partner prefers to jerk off to porn rather than having sex with me. I'd be more wary about sending nudes, onlyfans and things like that, but going to a porn site and watching a video to get off is not something I'd consider cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 01:59 PM
5

Personally, I think that if I had started dating when I was in my loser era, that'd have stalled my growth and I wouldn't have had any incentive to improve my life in any way. Craving a healthy relationship, on the other hand, made me want to work on myself and to put myself in a spot where I could be a good partner. The way I saw it, if I wasn't able to love myself, how tf was I supposed to love someone else? I figured pretty fast that if I tried to find validation externally I'd set myself up …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 06:38 PM
3

This. I also think women are more likely to "ship" characters together, most fanfic writers are women IME. I think it's a nice sort of escapism, in the same way men see videogames, porn or other consumable media. I personally find myself getting more invested in romance (not the same as romantic movies) when I'm single and missing that out in my life. I don't think anyone seriously expects romance to be like in the movies, but it's good entertainment and it scratches that itch.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 07:27 PM
–

I date with the goal of eventually having a happy, loving marriage and kids. I respect anyone who wants other things out of life, or people who date and just go with the flow, but I’m pretty sure I know what I want so that’s what I look for when dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 03:16 AM
1

Any advice for fence sitters?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 03:03 AM
–

There are guys like that out there, to be more specific, in this subreddit. Then you go outside and you see hot couples, average couples, ugly couples...Because people of all kinds date and not everyone needs to be 6' tall, have a 6 pack and make 6 figures. And lots of men out there manage to have casual sex even if they're not a 'Chad'
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 03:27 PM
–

All sorts of people get in relationships and have sex, for free. Well, not for free, but by that rule watching porn isn't free either because you still need to pay for the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 03:21 PM
–

There is something I don't get, if there's roughly the same number of men and women, let's say in the 18-35yo age bracket, how is that women are a lot more likely to be partnered than men? I'm talking about relationships, not casual sex. By that rule, for every couple there is a man getting sex, and I don't know a single woman that shares her boyfriend with another. I don't think being poly is that common. Sure, maybe a woman is sleeping with a guy only and that guy is sleeping with multiple wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 03:19 PM
11

Eh, I know a bunch of guys that had 'placeholder' girlfriends for years but would not commit, they'd get fed up, leave and the guys would marry the next woman they seriously dated within 2 years. I'd say that when men do really like a woman, they commit but if they don't like her that much they'll drag their feet regarding commitment and other stuff like that. Also, birth rates and marriage rates have already been going down in the last 10 years. In proportion, divorce rates are also going down,…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 06:32 PM
–

Given that choice, a sex-free but romantic relationship. I can get myself off without any issues, but sometimes I just crave the non-sexual intimacy that comes with relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 07:18 PM
1

Huh...Then date people your age or at least in a similar life stage?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 03:33 PM
6

Nothing against that, the problem is if I find out they did. I think a more 'friendly' way to go about it is to get one of those ancestry tests and be like "hey let's all go check out backgrounds and build our own family tree"
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 03:58 PM
8

In here lots of people talk about paternity testing, etc. The problem with paternity testing IMO is that it's not standard at birth, if it was, it wouldn't be a big deal but bringing it up basically means "honey I need to make sure that you haven't cheated on me don't have the malice to pass another man's child as mine" Of course, I'd accept to get the test but I'd be very offended because wanting to be sure means both that my partner is currently unsure and that he doubts my loyalty. I can unde…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 03:00 PM
2

Of course, everyone gets a prenup by default where I come from. It’s not frowned upon whatsoever, it’s a way to protect both parties assets.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:26 AM
3

Ah, and that kid that ran over a mother and a child. Cameron Herrin? There was a whole ass campaign not to imprison him because he was "too handsome"
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 07:34 PM
6

It took me a moment to realize this isn't about Deadpool. But having said that, this is not a first? It was the same with Dahmer, Richard Ramirez and more recently, Jeremy Meeks who btw went on to become a model.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 06:43 PM
3

There's this book, "He's just not that into you" that's really good at telling you the signs that you're a placeholder girlfriend. I personally only date to marry, when I was dating it was one of the first things I brought up. I wouldn't want to find out 3 years down the line that my partner doesn't want to get married or have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:51 PM
2

I met my boyfriend on a dating app, on Hinge. The app said we were 'the most compatible' and he messaged me a very cute message and that made me interested. His profile didn't have great pictures, but I thought he looked kinda cute. While texting, I really enjoyed our conversations, we clicked very well. When we had our first date, I thought he was very cute in person, and we had a lot of fun. I just wanted to keep getting to know him, and the rest if history. I wouldn't say it was love at first…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:39 PM
4

Some guys will string women along because being in a relationship is comfortable, but they're either not interested in marriage at all or they're not interested in marriage with their GFs. I know loads of stories of a guy not wanting to get married their long term girlfriends (+5 years), the GF breaking up over it and then the guy magically proposing within a year of dating someone else. The r/Waiting_To_Wed subreddit is full of these stories. If men are that worried about divorce, then they sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:35 PM
1

Similar experience here, I've been in two serious relationships and the second one so far is so much better than the first one. Not only because of the life experience I have now, but because after my first (and hopefully last) breakup I took a few years off just to be on my own. And no, that didn't include sex. During that time I learned so much about myself, what I want out of life, what I want in a relationship...I also developed lots of hobbies which now I get to share with my partner. It's …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 01:58 PM
3

I'm not sure where you live, but where I live, if you have a young child and you earn the median income there's a good chance childcare costs more than what you make every month or there's very little difference. Sometimes being a SAHM for a few years is actually worth it from a financial perspective until kids go to school.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 01:36 PM
16

I think the Red Pill solution for men doesn't really take into account the possible causes of a dead bedroom, that only works if your partner has lost physical attraction to you, but there are more possible causes that are not always up to the man's control: Is my partner stressed, depressed, sick or on medication? Those can drastically affect libido Does my partner feel attractive? Are they struggling with body image issues? Are we spending enough quality time and going on dates, or are we more…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 06:27 PM
1

Yes. I met my partner that way. Some of my married friends met through OLD. The process can suck, but at the end of the day it helps you meet people who are receptive to date and that you likely wouldn't cross paths with otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 04:10 PM
1

Younger women are a lot easier to impress than older women too, so having stuff like a car and a stable job or your own place is the 'bare minimum' to be considered a thriving adult if you're over 30, but if you're 20 and in college, that's pretty impressive. I personally date people either my age or up to 5 years older, more than anything because I already find a lot of people my age immature or at a different life stage than I am. I'm in my mid-20s and I want a stable relationship with the goa…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 04:04 PM
1

Good for them. I masturbate often after sex because I rarely come from sex alone. My partner doesn't get offended by it or anything and it doesn't bother me at all if my partner masturbates. However, if my partner declined sex and then proceeded to masturbate then I'd worry there's something wrong or that I'm not good enough or something like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 04:55 PM
8

No, I'm an advocate for letting people do whatever they want with their lives (within legal limits, of course). The problem I see with synthetic SOs is that they're tailor-made for you, which is great, but if you ever go back to conventional dating, a perfect AI match won't prepare you for a lot of skills you learn through trial and error and you might find yourself under equipped for basic relationship skills such as compromising, problem-solving, open communication... Again, I don't think ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 02:38 PM
1

Who'd want to date a 40yo woman with the maturity of a 20 year old..?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 05:38 PM
5

Pretty much my experience on girl trips, we once rented a cottage in the woods and we had a wonderful weekend just going on hikes, kayaking and swimming in the lake. I suspect OP is very young, like college-aged. Not a single working professional I know would be up for a trip that involves lots of partying, alcohol and sleeping around. At least, I know I wouldn't, when I'm on vacation I want peace.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 07:23 PM
7

I don't know any man that has raped a passed out drunk girl at a party because I don't party. However, every woman that has gone on a girls trip that I know of hasn't cheated on her S/O while down there. I'm sure my experience is not unique either.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 07:18 PM
4

Incentive how? If I want to orgasm I have a good wank and call it a night, I'd rather not feel like a POS for cheating and having to worry about STDs, pregnancies on top of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 07:17 PM
8

Then don't bloody date single promiscuous "live in the moment" women if you're going to be constantly worrying about them cheating
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 07:15 PM
2

Yuck, this reeks of insecurities left and right, with a dose of trust issues. My boyfriend has gone on boys trips and I haven't worried for a second about him cheating on me. I've gone on girl trips and no one cheated, like, when I've gone on girl trips the aim is to chill by the beach and maybe go to the spa, or shopping. The "places with handsome athletic men looking for sex partying" and alcohol involved...I don't know what to tell you, but that kind of sounds like college to me and not where…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 07:09 PM
3

Bingo. When I was younger, I was in a relationship with someone who had anger control issues (and before you say 'not all men', this person was a woman). We stayed together for +4 years, whenever she got mad over something stupid - like forgetting to do my dailies in Pokemon Go - She would give me the silent treatment for days, act like I didn't exist. Because I knew all couples argue and fight sometimes, I thought this was normal. It wasn't until I grew a little older and I was exposed to healt…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 03:50 PM
2

Haven't you read the memo? Nowadays women hit the wall at 25. I was literally told yesterday that if by 25 a woman wasn't married or in a marriage-worthy relationship, she was already late since quality men would be going after younger women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 03:45 PM
–

Western women tend to be financially independent, not all of them, but the average college-educated woman normally is capable of providing for herself and pays for her own stuff, if she dates, it's normally because she likes the guy rather than out of financial need. In some more traditional cultures, men are expected to pay for everything and financially support the woman. I do come from one of those cultures. I've seen women lining up in the park with an internet access card seducing Canadian/…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 09:08 PM
–

Good for them if they find a good match...And if they behave. Some passport bros are just sex tourists and get in trouble all over, like the guy in Colombia caught with minors. From a dating point of view, I think some people underestimate cultural differences. You can't get a traditional wife abroad and expect her to contribute financially as much as you do without discussing it first, you might be expected to pay for dates or to financially support her. That's not always the case, of course, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 09:03 PM
1

Why would I waste time dating someone that's not a good match for me when I could be out there dating someone who is husband material? I've been in relationships, good and bad. I learned what I wanted by being in them. But those were committed relationships, not just 'playing the field' or sleeping around.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 07:33 PM
1

I’m a 24yo woman with no social media and to me it’s a green flag
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 03:47 PM
4

Early Gen Z woman here, I’ve had long phases where I wanted to be single - and I mean single - no hookups, no fwb and no dating…And phases where I really craved companionship. I’m almost 25 and now I really want to be in a good, lasting relationship, which I am. Most women around my age I know are either in relationships or single and dating. I only one that’s single by choice and that’s because she’s very busy with law school + work and doesn’t have the time or energy to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 02:27 AM
1

ATM men can lose half of their wealth, their assets, their children, and get stuck paying alimony by court order. This can happen even if you're not married though. That's the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 08:03 PM
1

I don't know of a single break up, married or not, that was pleasant. What I'm trying to say here is, don't think you're off the hook just because you don't intend to get married, especially if you intend to date. If you intend to date, most women will expect an to move in together, marriage and children at some point. Sure, plenty of women are child free or are content in non-escalating relationships, but that reduces your dating pool a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 07:37 PM
1

Not all divorces are a shit show though, we just hear about the messy ones. If you don't want to get married but you want a relationship that escalates and have kids in the future, if you break up you're still fucked. Where I live, you enter common law relationships automatically after 12 months of cohabitation and the lesser earning part of the couple can demand alimony/spousal support even if you don't have kids together after you break up. If you own your own home and your partner has contrib…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 06:16 PM
2

Same issue as it is a data lag. Time period of data is important. I find that the hardest part of this is that we want to know divorce rates in relation to marriage length, which takes time to generate. Millennials for example are said to be the modern generation least likely to divorce compared to Baby Boomers and gen X. However, Millennials haven't been married for that long. You'd think that if you've been married for +15 years, you're less likely to divorce compared to the first 5 years of m…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 08:55 PM
1

Well, if I had conducted all of the research I cited I'd have loved to present it in a better, more consistent way. Unfortunately, I don't work in research and I don't have the free time to do so. I just wanted to gather some information and drop it here to debate. When I made the post I trusted most folks in here would understand the different ways to present information with statistics.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 08:47 PM
3

Right...That's why...percentages
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 08:38 PM
3

But maybe the most simple explanation could be that the divorce rates are the lowest they’ve been because the marriage rates are the lowest? That's already considered for research purposes, so the calculation is proportional.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 08:05 PM
3

This is true, however I'm not sure about the number of serial marriers out there and how much they affect statistics.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 08:02 PM
2

infidelity and lack of commitment were the major reasons people get divorced. Lack of commitment has a lot of sub-categories, like communication issues, not addressing problems in the relationship, etc. I imagine that people who cheat during a marriage didn't intend to cheat when they first got married. its better to have a qualified and expensive lawyer help you with legal protections.if you do have this option. Eh, it depends on the person. Marriage is something important to me, if someone pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 08:00 PM
3

Men don't have to get married and women don't have to date men who won't marry them (if that's what they want). Ideally, the topic of marriage comes up early during the dating process so no one wastes their time. The r/relationship_advice and r/Waiting_To_Wed subreddits are full of posts of women who feel frustrated because their partner won't propose or because they'll be vague about it, no one likes to be strung along or feel like they wasted years in a relationship. Similarly, there are also …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:47 PM
2

i agree not marrying is the safest choice.i mentally cannot fathom why women push for marriage it makes no sense. For some people marriage is important and a sign of commitment, it also automatically gives both parties certain legal protections that can be expensive and a pain in the ass to set up with regular lawyers. Not wanting to get married can be a dealbreaker, and it's a good thing it is because no one likes to get strung along or feel like they wasted their time in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:41 PM
3

Considering divorce puts men in the highest risk category for suicide True! But married men with children are the happiest demographic of men [source , source], followed by married men without children. Same applies to women, married women with children are the happiest (not as much as married men though). I'd argue that choosing the person you marry wisely is one of the biggest indicators of your future happiness. But choosing not to date or marry is also fair and perfectly fine. However, if ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:39 PM
6

This is very true too, the divorce rate is significantly higher in second and third marriages compared to the first. My guess is that people lose who are on their second marriage are older, more stable and their "bs tolerance" is lower, so if they're unhappy, they're not as inclined to stay because of kids, finances, etc. That's just a guess, I can't back it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:26 PM
5

People don't need to, but some people want to and it's important to them. Both beliefs are equally valid, but ideally you want to date someone who thinks like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:24 PM
7

It doesn't mean it should stop you from getting married or you should live in a constant fear. True, but it's also discouraging. Why get married at all when you can get marriage benefits (cohabitating, children, etc.) without the downsides of divorce? Of course, that's a lot harder when there are children involved. The topic fascinates me, I lurk in the relationships subreddit and once in a while I see posts along the lines of "I want to get married but my boyfriend is not sure" and there's alwa…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:22 PM
5

I've mentioned above, but the divorce rates are based on percentages rather than gross numbers and, proportionally, people are still getting divorced less. The other thing, relationships breaking down seems to have something to do with socioeconomic status [Source]. In figure 7, it shows that people in the middle-upper class tend to marry first and have babies after, whereas the working class and the poor tend to have a baby first and marry after. You could argue that in many cases, marriage is …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:07 PM
11

That's a good point, people who do get married nowadays do so because they really want to. Or at very least, agree to do it which probably puts them on the same page regarding many other important life choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:02 PM
9

I just linked one source for that, but if you look it up, different studies link higher education with lower divorce rates. I find it interesting! I'd say that having a college education leads to better jobs and more stability. Finances are a big reason why people divorce, so it might factor into the rate.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 06:55 PM
8

Less people are getting married, but proportionally, fewer people are getting divorced too compared to the 80s. The research takes that into account so most stats have percentages rather than gross numbers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 06:53 PM
13

Both statements in your title can be true if the divorce rate has been above 50% for the past 50 years. It hasn't, not even in the 80s. However a lot of websites mention it, including some statistics. The highest one if I recall, mentioned that the 20-year separation rate was around 53%, but it included both divorce and separation without formally filing for divorce. Generally, the trend is that in proportion, the people who do marry (significantly less than 50 years ago) are less likely to divo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 06:51 PM
16

I believe the stats are the closer you get to marrying in the end of your 20's and up to 31-32. These people get divorced less. I think this is the thing. During my research, I saw a few articles saying that people who first marry in the 25-35 age bracket are the least likely group to divorce compared who people who marry after 40 or in their teens/early twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 06:47 PM
5

I agree, however, ideally as a society we'd thrive more if the people who got married stayed married. An average couple that's together - assuming they're happy and not miserable - are always going to be better off than a divorced couple, especially financially.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 06:42 PM
3

The studies do consider that though, most of them count married couples, except maybe this one? The Covid one considered cohabitating couples as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 06:40 PM
6

It was always small things. For example, we wouldn't go on dates unless I planned them. Once in a while I'd have a detail and make a cute postcard, bring dessert from a bakery or just buy flowers. I always talked enthusiastically about future plans while my ex was more like "eh, we'll see." My ex also had anger control issues that didn't get addressed whatsoever despite of me insisting on therapy. Plenty of people are low-maintenance and would be happy with that arrangement, but I wasn't. I just…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 05:14 PM
8

Which only happens if the woman is into a man more than he is into her. Or if you have a healthy, balanced relationship where you both devote roughly the same amount of care into the relationship without weird power moves or games. And no one said treating a woman badly, wtf? I haven't said anything about treating women badly, interesting that's the conclusion you jumped to. By accessory I mean something nice to have but that you don't need in your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 05:08 PM
13

If you want something low-maintenance get a cactus. If a woman is really into you, she won't care about any of her other options because she already has everything she wants. If you treat her like an accessory and she feels like her emotional needs are not being met, well, there's a chance there's someone else who will.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 04:35 PM
1

Not to mention that to many girls lie and say they are gay or have a boyfriend when they don't, which makes other men not believe it when it's said regardless if true or not. This is anecdotal, but once, while I was dating a woman I'd still get hit on. If I said I had a boyfriend, guys would normally back off. If I said I had a girlfriend, once in a while I got comments like "Can I join?" or get threesome suggestions. I get it for both sexs because it's like the ultimate badge of "I turned a hom…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 02:35 PM
10

Would be nice to hear a woman's perspective on if and how quickly they know they are not #1 and if they have ever managed to regain that spot once they lose it. Not quite that, but in every relationship I've had my partner has always been my #1 priority for me. In a past relationship in particular, they were my #1 but I wasn't theirs, and it broke my heart. Over time I got tired of always putting in all the work in the relationship, so my partner quit being my #1 and I chose to focus on other th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 02:28 PM
11

The woman being more invested balances out by the facts that women initiate the overwhelming majority of breakups and have vastly more replacement options, both making them less reliable partners. And the woman being more invested in turn makes her a more reliable partner. So hence the balance. As a woman who's always been the one more invested in the relationships I've had, I have some insight from being on the other end of this. If the other person "cares" about you less than you care about th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 02:17 PM
6

This. Ideally, you want someone that matches your energy, whether you're both super chill or you're all over each other all the time. Everyone is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 01:57 PM
1

The 99.9% is an extreme example, I just wanted to point out that being bisexual doesn't automatically make you like each gender 50/50, but it's a spectrum. Dating mostly one gender doesn't magically make you fully gay or straight, that's bisexual erasure and it's definitely a thing. Now, being gay isn't a spectrum by definition regardless of how people label themselves. I insist on this because I lurk on LGBTQ+ subreddits and there are many lesbians out there that have 0 interest in men whatsoev…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 07:32 PM
1

But based on the current political nature in the US you’d be wrong and also homophobic I'm bisexual (been identifying as such for +10 years) with a very strong preference for women, hell, I was even engaged to one. But I'm homophobic, sure Jan.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 04:01 PM
1

This, unless by confidence being last it means extremely insecure, I find kindness the most important trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 02:58 PM
0

Who is OP to define someone else’s sexuality for them? I’m writing based on the dictionary definition of lesbian (Cambridge dictionary, to be more specific) and the Kinsey scale from the Kinsey institute.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 02:11 PM
41

Holy fuck people. Lesbians by definition don’t like men. If they like men in a romantic/sexual way, they aren’t lesbians. If a girl is bisexual and prefers women 99.9% of the time, she is bisexual. If a girl thinks she’s a lesbian but then meets a guy she likes, she is bisexual and has been bisexual all along. No wonder women in r/actuallesbians get so pissed off when guys suggest they can “fix” them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 08:59 PM
44

More than “the wall” this sounds like a mix between gender imbalance in the younger age bracket + women outliving men? This only affects single people too. In my anecdotal experience most people I know in their late 20s and early 30s are either partnered, engaged/married or they just have no interest in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 08:54 PM
9

This. I would have kids ASAP if I could afford a house and I had the certainty my job won’t try to fuck me over and make things difficult for me. I have a nice career going on, a loving partner, savings and I’d be up to the task if given the chance. Unfortunately, I live in Canada so the home ownership part is a pipe dream. My partner says that he won’t even consider kids until he’s in his mid 30s, so waiting it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 02:15 PM
24

I don't think 'using women' is what the red pill is about. At the end of the day, is about bettering yourself which is something I'd recommend to anyone anyway. When it comes to dating, I find that the red pill's problem is that if you market yourself mainly with money and status, a large portion of the women you're going to attract will be primarily interested in that which brings its own set of issues. I think the best thing you can do is to take everything with a grain of salt. Take the thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 05:11 PM
5

I don't really use social media, but I've heard of a lot of controversial takes online. The problem is, people remember the most unhinged takes and forget about the more normal, everyday experiences. I remember a video of a girl complaining her boyfriend spontaneously gave her roses when her favourite flowers are orchids (or something along those lines) and was complaining about it. Half the comments were grilling her and calling her ungrateful and names, while other comments were calling her ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 04:57 PM
1

This, I would add confidence too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 05:16 PM
8

Mid 20s woman here, most women in my social circle are either in committed relationships or actively dating and meeting people with the intention to enter a relationship. No one in my circle sleeps around, unless you count people actively trying to date and getting sexual after some dates? Even in college my friends were either serial daters or too busy with school to sleep around.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 06:55 PM
9

So the main downside of marriage is divorce? If you don't want to get married, that's fine, but if you'd like to have a long-term relationship and have a family, you have to accept that many women won't be up for that without marriage. If you find a partner who is, then good for you. But if your relationship falls apart, that won't save you from paying child support or spousal support (if you lived together long enough to be common-law). If you want to be 100% safe, have a girlfriend, never live…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 05:29 PM
2

It depends I guess, I have a friend who at 25 barely has any dating success. She can't get dates and when she does, she tends not to like the guys, it's worth mentioning she's also very overweight in a country where she stands out a lot because of that. Her mom is in her late 40s, aged 'gracefully' and she's dating around quite a bit with a variety of what you'd call high-quality men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 02:58 PM
4

I live in one of the most populated cities in North America, but I guess I'm a bit out of touch since all my friends are partnered and don't engage in casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 08:00 PM
21

I think it depends a lot, I personally only know a woman who used to engage in casual sex regularly, and even that was once every 4-6 months at most when she was in college. I gave it a try once with a classmate I liked in university and I hated the experience so much I've never done it again. When single, I figure I'm much better off wanking than having mediocre sex with a random guy/girl. Plus, no one likes to be slut shamed.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 07:38 PM
3

I liked him because he was funny and we shared a lot of common hobbies and interests, plus I found him attractive and he found me attractive too. I don’t care about how much money he makes, but it’s important to me that he’s responsible with money and self sufficient since I am too. Not sure if it’s a me thing, but I didn’t really care about looks or height. I find my boyfriend attractive but my friends do not, and he’s 5’7 so he’s not particularly tall either. He did a no hit run in Dark Souls …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 08:05 PM
–

False. I’m a bi woman, mid/late 20s and I’ve seriously dated 3 women (for +1 year) and now I’m dating a man for the first time ever. Before him I hadn’t even kissed a guy. Being bisexual isn’t 50/50, the Kinsey scale explains it well. Also, IME most bisexual girls get pissed off if you suggest a threesome. They generally don’t like to be fetishized like that. Having said that, I find women are generally better at foreplay at a base level, but an experienced guy can easily match that if he puts i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 02:33 PM
1

I'd 100% rather wait. The main reason is, what my younger self valued in a partner is very different to what my older self values. In my last relationship, I was very inexperienced and I normalized a lot of controlling behaviour. When we broke up, I felt SO free and relieved I no longer had to walk on egg shells and I realized how fucked up the relationship was. After taking a few years to work on myself, now I feel very ready to have a relationship with a clean slate, I've also had the chance t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 10:37 PM
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