For those on dating apps, do you prefer more matches or better quality?

Combatenjoyer23 · 2024-10-21T21:02:55+00:00

Usually, the more matches you get, the more quality matches will be amongst them. You're never gonna get like 4 matches in a month but all 4 are amazing with no duds lmao.

SomeSugondeseGuy · 2024-10-21T21:07:06+00:00

I'd go with better quality if I got matches lmao

Give me a bunch to sift through.

Freevoulous · 2024-10-21T21:35:13+00:00

Neither, I want better Accuracy. I want the apps to have a decent set of preferences I can pick to narrow down the list. I don't want a giant list of below average women. I do not want a medium list of 10/10 women. I want a short list of 7/10 women who match my personal tastes, including tastes that turn some men off.

Like, I really, really like faded-beauty skinny Goth chicks with big noses. I want someone whos into BDSM, has really dark humor and is a sarcastic bitch. I do not want a perfect Barbie doll, I want a near Wall woman who tried to be Morticia Addams but failed.

The problem with datign Apps is that they either bombard you with mediocrity, or tease you with socially approved Basic perfection, when they should simply give you your match: someone who has compatible preferences and matching attractivness, not worse, not better.

Odd-Talk-3981 · 2024-10-21T21:05:40+00:00

As a man who doesn’t mind being single at all (I could even identify as a volcel), I’m only interested in high-quality matches. By this, I don’t mean women who are 'out of my league', but rather that I have several criteria that must be met before I’d even consider a relationship.

MikeArrow · 2024-10-21T23:18:14+00:00

More than zero would be great. Hmm, yeah, that would really be my preference.

Wanderingwombat1902 · 2024-10-21T20:50:08+00:00

As a man, any matches would be better than 0. It’s a desert out there

beautyloser · 2024-10-21T20:47:33+00:00

How is this even a debate? I’m there to find a life partner, not reassurance that tons of men want me. Better quality all the way

fredwester · 2024-10-21T21:39:13+00:00

Quality over quantity.

When I dated I used Tinder and Hinge.

Tinder I'd get 2-3 matches a day (you might think that's a pathetic amount but it was a lot to me), and only about 1 in 20 of them would be a good match.

Whereas Hinge I'd get 1 match every 2ish days. But the quality of matches was much better because its algorithm more is better tuned to assess compatibility. About 1 in 5 of those matches was a good one.

wtknight · 2024-10-21T21:41:05+00:00

I used dating websites to seriously date when I was single, so I preferred better quality. If I had been using them to hook up, then I would have preferred more matches.

TopShelfSnipes · 2024-10-21T21:43:14+00:00

For me, apps were always secondary to IRL. Quality over quantity all day. There was nothing I hated more than having to sort through a bunch of matches that were all terrible. Felt like a complete waste of time. Poorly written profiles, the same bad corny pics (drinking wine in a cocktail dress, some terrible outdoor pic with sunglasses where the eyes weren't visible, a bathroom selfie, some generic professional shot from work or from a bad angle at a work function), or where there was something instantly dealbreakerish about the person.

Going through a lot of matches that suck was just a timesuck.

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mobjack · 2024-10-21T21:11:57+00:00

Most men aren't getting overwhelmed by the number of matches. They are more likely to have days with zero matches killing their confidence.

Sometimes I match with women who are attractive but are otherwise not compatible for an ego boost.

I usually don't get more than a handful a day so it doesn't matter. In the rare cases I do feel overwhelmed, I become more picky.

Environmental_Day558 · 2024-10-21T21:13:18+00:00

Basically boils down to this

Men: More matches

Women: Better quality

OilJust4498 · 2024-10-21T21:35:38+00:00

I have been using the apps for probably five or so years now and, with an amazing and brilliant strategy of swiping right 100 times a day, I've managed to get probably a few dozen matches over though the actual number of those who responded is significantly lower, still I actually managed to get two women to agree to meet for a date a couple years ago though the dates unfortunately never materialized. So I suppose for matches would be good as it would give me more opportunities. Not to mention more matches would also equate to more quality matches. Though it's possible I will have a break through soon enough with the matches I actually get in the future.

Personally I think OLD is ranked between warm approaching and cold approaching in terms of success.

catdog8020 · 2024-10-21T22:23:04+00:00

At this point i prefer quantity over quantity. I’m done with average woman I only like real woman who are not attractive. Attractive woman disgust me

SDW137 · 2024-10-21T23:41:57+00:00

I'd prefer high quality, and a lot of matches.

Bitter-Hat-4736 · 2024-10-22T02:03:19+00:00

Well... increasing my quality of matches isn't really applicable...

ta06012022 · 2024-10-22T02:36:30+00:00

Quality 100%.

I swipe right <5%, which limits my number of matches but still provides a consistent enough volume of quality matches to provide a healthy dating life. I could swipe right more and get more matches, but they would just be women that I'm not genuinely interested in. I don't really see the point in that.

AppearanceKey8663 · 2024-10-22T02:39:45+00:00

Beggars can't be choosers. Men can only react to the few and far between matches they get. Quality only becomes a consideration when you have a safety net of options.

Consistent-Career888 · 2024-10-22T03:30:11+00:00

You are not going to find that person if you don’t have lots of profiles to go through . A saying wrongly attributed to Stalin though he might have used it to explain horrific loses to the Wehrmacht .

Quantity has a Quality of its own .

I would prefer to sort through a lot of profiles and be able to have a idea of who is available. Where my best chances are then narrow my choices further.

You’re unlikely to find a person who you like and likes you with a limited number of profiles.

Ideally the app would require you to fill out a Bio , choose some interests and activities. Some give you the option of listening things like smoking, a smoker is a hard no for a lot of people myself included . Many let you list cannabis and alcohol use . Even diet i am a omnivore. I guess I am related to bears . A Ex used to call me señor oso ( oso is Spanish for bear). as a way to flirt.

It’s really difficult know what a person is like and will be in person via a two dimensional profile on a app .

The more profiles you have to go through the better you become at figuring out who might work .

You will start to notice patterns especially if you can repeatedly go through profiles instead of swiping.

The more you see and possibly meet people. The better probability you will learn how to choose better and meet people who are going to be a good match for you.

The more you learn the easier it should be. Yes your going to nope a lot of profiles. But there’s a higher probability of good matches in that pile of profiles than having a few selected by a highly flawed algorithm designed to keep you swiping.

Tinder which was Grindr a hook up app for gay men recoded for everyone. It changed how we use OLD . Not for the better.

It’s based on Game Theory. Mostly to keep people swiping and of course paying.

You won’t get many profiles if you heavily filter what you think you want.

This is exactly what Match Group which owns the majority of dating apps . Wants you to do . Keep swiping and paying.

If it is possible to do a statistical analysis on filtering a search and how much time spent on a app that would be interesting.

It doesn’t matter if you nope lots of profiles . Though I would bet a million if I gambled that many a nope would have been a great match . I don’t remember where I read it , but people who met online were asked if they had originally passed on or swiped left on a person . There was a surprisingly high number who said yes they did I think 15 percent.

That not a insignificant percentage. Ot made me rethink a few things.

Whoever can create a app that is both entertaining, makes meeting and potentially having a relationship or what ever else you are looking for as long as you don’t harm people. Will become the next Mark Zuckerberg or Jeff Bezos . Only wealthier and faster.

The more profiles you can go through and learn about how the app chooses for you the better your chance of meeting someone you can have a relationship with.

The original OLD sites had few if a y filters. I believe they produced better out comes as people had a larger pool to work with.

People who are really into statistics and their counterparts in psychology , sociology departments at a number of research universities have done all kinds of studies on OLD .

It has to be available somewhere. .

I would think thst the more opportunities to see who is available and interesting to you the better your chance of finding someone. It might take a while but you end up with a better result.

Z0mbs · 2024-10-22T09:00:26+00:00

For men, it's not like we can really choose. We get so few matches that we have to work with what we got lol.

Doesthisevenmatter7 · 2024-10-22T09:01:34+00:00

Better quality for me I get plenty of matches but like 70-80% are mid or below. So it’s only really a quality match maybe 1 out of 5 maybe less.

meisterkraus · 2024-10-22T12:45:29+00:00

There has to be a baseline of quantity before quality matters.

GrandpaDallas · 2024-10-22T14:02:25+00:00

Better quality, hands down, no question.

In some spaces, I get a huge influx of matches and it overwhelms me. I don't always do well with choice, so fewer, more quality options is going to be my go to.

Bluelilacss · 2024-10-23T07:28:21+00:00

I found my current bf on a dating app and although i had a lot of matches, most of them made me uncomfortable. From those who open up with stuff about their dicks and swear at you when you fail to reply to men who randomly said they'd want to lick my feet or ask why i didn't have my boobs in any of the pictures(??) as their first replies, it wasn't a good experience. There are a lot of good men on these apps but the few rotten apples are enough to scare most women away.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-10-21T21:11:40+00:00

On occasion when I think men my age might have matured a bit and that dating app tech might have improved I will go on one or two of them and look to see who is available but like you I am picky. Quality definitely matters more than quantity as I only need one good match since I’m looking for marriage and not a series of casual match ups. Unfortunately, it seems most men want more casual matchups no matter their age and circumstances. So after a day or two, I usually delete my account and wait another few years till I feel that things might be hopeful again and try again. I find leaving the dating apps if you don’t find anyone right away to be the best solution because it decreases the number of matches men get which helps lower their standards back to reality so maybe they will grow up and learn the value of commitment. Also, it saves women a lot of time and aggravation dealing with so many duds. Why would any woman want to waste time and money getting dressed up going out on a date with a man that is not going to be what she’s looking for? It’s best to either invest that money or spend it on yourself enjoying life.

Boudria · 2024-10-21T21:31:06+00:00

More matches because it would mean I'm more attractive than the other option.

Also, the reality is, if you have more matches as a man, you are more likely to find quality matches.

Currentlycurious1 · 2024-10-21T21:02:00+00:00

I'd prefer more. For me, if I feel like that the best majority of women I feel attracted to are not attracted to me, that's a huge bummer. How can I feel like I'm attractive, if women don't want me?

NotReallyTired_ · 2024-10-21T21:16:57+00:00

Neither. The problem with dating apps today is that it's a purely a numbers game where our conversations is this weird dance where it feels like I'm playing a Telltales series where I'm computing choices for max optimization, not only it doesn't feel natural but the woman I'm speaking to is drowned in a sea of DMs from other men.

Sure it would be nice to have more matches, but it would matter if none of them went anywhere. It would be the equivalent of me going to a bar or club asking out 100 women to get rejected by all of them. Not mention getting matches with bots, sex workers, and women promoting their social media followings isn't worth the matches.

It's hard to find "better quality" when dating apps isn't built for it. Finding quality partners requires putting a period of time and attention on a single individual. It requires me and the woman's FULL attention and energy. Dating apps as they are today, aren't good for that because who am I compared to the dozens of other men in your DMs craving for your full attention.

Title	For those on dating apps, do you prefer more matches or better quality?
Author	backstabber81
Upvotes	1
Comments	57
Date	October 21, 2024 8:23 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1g8zs7t/for_those_on_dating_apps_do_you_prefer_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/for-those-on-dating-apps-do-you-prefer-more.1533042 https://theredarchive.com/post/1533042

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