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bananasplitchocodip Archive

View 7 posts and 73 comments by bananasplitchocodip on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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91

I think you’re over thinking him introducing you. However, the biggest red flag here is him calling his ex crazy. I think it’s best to follow your gut here, and whatever your gut is saying, go with that.
/r/askFDS28/03/22 11:49 PM
11

Moving is a lot, and being a new city is a lot. It could be both, that he’s busy and also wanting to explore. I would maybe fall back a bit on the communication and see what happens. But I wouldn’t hold your breath for him, if he wants to see you, he would make it happen.
/r/askFDS11/01/22 01:06 AM
-10

As someone who is pro-sex work, and reading that your boyfriend ( then) was going through a hard time it seems in a way to me, okay that it happened. I understand the shock value. But we do things sometimes when dealing with grief that we may otherwise not do. Also, right now you are probably in disbelief, so don’t trust your emotions or thoughts. Deal with this day by day. But he isn’t that man now.
/r/askFDS11/01/22 01:01 AM
10

White noise machine maybe?
/r/askFDS29/10/21 11:19 AM
22

It’s okay :) this happened to me too. Take it as a lesson, and know it’s not for you moving forward. It doesn’t feel good to know/feel you’ve been used, but with time you will feel more accepting towards it and realize it’s taught you a valuable lesson about yourself. Head high :)
/r/askFDS01/09/21 11:37 PM
6

Is this for real? I just spent months deleting my stuff from online searches, which was a lot of work.. for reasons such as stalking… wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 06:45 PM
15

Thanks for your vulnerability. I am 33 y/o F, who left a relationship after 15 years. I am really just starting over..at 33. I went into therapy to gain the courage to leave, and I did. I’m still in therapy and just finished working through what you’re experiencing. I wasn’t really angry until a few months ago, and last month was two years we’ve been separated. You can take the accountability you need to because you chose to stay. But often, there are underlying reasons in which we do stay, whic…
/r/askFDS04/08/21 03:40 PM
1

Yes!! Love this! Thank you! <3
/r/askFDS06/07/21 02:01 PM
1

I am still working through some insecurities and trying to understand that this early on( have not met up yet) that I don’t need constant texts back, nor do I have a desire to text all day every day, but for me, if I am genuinely interested in someone I wouldn’t go a day with a response so I’m assuming this is the same for him. And I guess I am matching his energy so that’s good. I didn’t respond back to him. It’s just weird because he reached out first then went a-wall. Unfortunately, sometimes…
/r/askFDS06/07/21 01:45 PM
2

I agree. I’m a little disappointed honestly. But he offered no like hey I’m sorry! Yadda yadda. And he’s been sick, and he hasn’t yet messaged another date for a FT, so I’ll take this one as a loss. It’s just weird because he messaged me first, so I guess that’s what’s frustrating.
/r/askFDS06/07/21 01:40 PM
4

He messaged me back but only answered what I asked in the text. He wasn’t short or anything but going almost a day just makes me overall insecure to even continue at this point.
/r/askFDS06/07/21 04:56 AM
6

He wrote but I’m not responding I guess. He just answered my question from yesterday.
/r/askFDS05/07/21 06:42 PM
15

Wow this one hit. And it’s so true. In fact, someone pulled something similar a few weeks ago, he texted me back almost three weeks later. I read his text, laughed and went on with my day, and didn’t text back. Old me would have been prying for his attention. I don’t want to get to the point where I’m doubting what I know feels right because of what I was taught about my insecurities. It’s a fine line that I need to be aware of. Thank you so much, this helped immensely.
/r/askFDS05/07/21 05:18 PM
5

Won’t be responding if after a day nothing, unless it was some noted emergency.
/r/askFDS05/07/21 02:20 PM
15

I agree 100%. Thank you!
/r/askFDS05/07/21 01:34 PM
14

Thank you so much. I needed this reminder. This forum has helped me so much <3
/r/askFDS05/07/21 01:26 PM
3

Yes. Similar situation, literally same thing happened to me from being in a long-term to messing up something with who I thought was a HVM but later learned he wasn’t. I’ve been in therapy but realized books have been helping me more. No more self-sabotage on my end and I’m much more accepting of situations and don’t really get anxious any longer. It’s liberating. If you read I recommend Single On Purpose by John Kim.
/r/askFDS01/07/21 02:09 PM
8

Wow… my ex did all of these. Hindsight is foresight if only I was more aware then. It started to make sense really later on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 12:05 PM
3

He has his own demons to be able to do what he did to you. This isn’t about you. I understand you’re feeling rejected… but this is about him.
/r/askFDS09/06/21 05:05 PM
5

Well surly you understand that someone ghosting has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. I’ve been where you are I’m sure we all have but why are you letting a low-value male take up so much space in your life? He’s proven he doesn’t care about your feelings and you’re here ruminating on his shitty behavior. He doesn’t care and neither should you. Unfortunately, morals and standards are low and are going to continue to get lower. You’re the prize, not him. And don’t message him…
/r/askFDS08/06/21 03:33 PM
5

This is exactly why I don’t go to the gym. Handled it perfectly. Hope he’s embarrassed.
/r/askFDS08/06/21 03:21 PM
13

Too soon to disclose.
/r/askFDS06/06/21 08:57 PM
3

Probably not worth it…
/r/askFDS05/06/21 09:57 PM
22

Wow, this sounds familiar. Are we taking about the same asshole? Probably not. And our stories a little different but very similar. Regardless, I found out after self-sabotaging that what happened between him and I was a huge lesson I needed from the universe to only meet someone better for me. It provoked a lot of self-work and now I’m ready to meet someone who doesn’t have LVM behavior and I’m glad my lesson was wasted on him. So what exactly was your fault? The fact that he had dating apps wh…
/r/askFDS05/06/21 10:35 AM
3

You’re uncomfortable secondary to the sexual innuendos. I think you should follow your intuition here. I self-sabotage too, but your body always knows when a red-flag is a red-flag and something seems off.
/r/askFDS04/06/21 01:04 PM
5

People will always have differing opinions. As I said, it was never stated by either poster that anything was wrong with the notion of dating one person; It was his REACTION to OP that was the red flag. And yeah, I’m American and cultures vary everywhere. In fact, I don’t like talking to many at a time, but it’s the persons reaction which is the issue.
/r/askFDS02/06/21 07:15 PM
9

Well said
/r/askFDS02/06/21 02:50 PM
10

I am in no way saying that it’s not okay. It is however, how said OP has chosen to live for now. And his response to say she missed her chance is demoralizing and a red flag. Please don’t assume.
/r/askFDS02/06/21 02:45 PM
5

I think most of the situation you’ve explained here does stem from your personal insecurities. But you’re aware of it! Which is a feat in itself. Not many people can attest to that. So props to you. And just because you don’t know of a certain product(s) does not mean you don’t know anything in regards to hygiene and beauty or that he thinks you know nothing of it; though I do see why you felt the way you did It all makes sense. People can sometimes flaunt what they have or brag but it typically…
/r/askFDS02/06/21 02:42 PM
41

It’s your ego and subconscious putting him on a pedestal. Nothing else. No man should ever be put on a pedestal the only one that is on that pedestal is you. I find often when someone stops showing me attention I want them more. I’m trying to work on this behavior but I’m still really guilty of it. It’s weird because I wouldn’t have even been that into the person but the minute they distance they become so much more appealing. It’s an ego thing. Also, after a few dates he wants exclusivity ( red…
/r/askFDS02/06/21 12:49 PM
4

I do feel you. But in your first first sentences you actually admit to how self-aware you are. Which is good. You admit that you at times have issues and comparing yourself to others so I think it’s possible your subconscious is telling you that he’s comparing you to them. But he may not be! You would know best. I think, if you didn’t match up he wouldn’t be with you right? Our voices in our head can tell us so many things that aren’t true. It’s the worst. Also very possible they have brainwashe…
/r/askFDS02/06/21 12:37 PM
3

Maybe he is just proud of them? loves them? You feel how you feel so it’s valid. But I’m coming from a place where my relationship with my long-term ex boyfriend family relationship was unhealthy. At times, I have to admit, I would get annoyed when he even discussed or praised them, that’s why I suggested that. It was more so me being like that because his family was really tough on me. And similar to you, his mom controlling and protective. I would off the bat at times be irritated when he talk…
/r/askFDS02/06/21 11:06 AM
4

Seems you’re more annoyed that he discusses them? In what you said here, he seems really nice and is offering suggestions to you about something you said you wanted to try. Maybe, you’re jealous?
/r/askFDS01/06/21 10:58 AM
3

I’m going through the same. It comes with high and lows. Some days I’m all about focusing on me and other days I am really down for not really having any current connections or dating opportunities. But in the midst of all the confusion try to remember that the journey of working on yourself and being able to provide yourself what you need emotionally there is nothing better. Also, while we still have issues to fix I feel I am at the point to start building with others again, so reflect… you mig…
/r/askFDS28/05/21 12:26 PM
20

It will pass.. happened to me. Soon, he will be an afterthought. I promise you. Roll with your emotions. They won’t last.
/r/askFDS22/05/21 09:14 AM
7

Hahaha I love it! Lmao
/r/askFDS19/05/21 05:00 PM
12

This am I was told you’re putting on weight and to keep it up. And the other day was a comment about my stature and something along the lines of me walking down the street with men and what he would do to me ( this was not at work).
/r/askFDS19/05/21 03:17 PM
16

If someone bought me flowers I would near die only time I got flowers was when my ex- boyfriend wanted forgiveness for cheating on me lol
/r/askFDS18/05/21 12:28 PM
7

Why are you placing so much emphasis on someone you hardly know? This is not an insult and is coming from someone who used to exhibit this same behavior. This is a huge mistake and you will end up hurt with this mentality, like I was. You don’t know him so right away let him stop taking up so much time in your head. At this point, you’re a pen pal. He has not committed to meeting you and keeps making excuses for his dodgy behavior. He’s exhibiting LVM behavior And love-bombing. Move on. Texting …
/r/askFDS17/05/21 04:41 PM
27

Same.. I’ve learned the only way is to have no expectations and stop putting these men we hardly know anything about on a pedestal. It’s helped me a lot after I put someone on a pedestal when he didn’t deserve to be there in the first place.
/r/askFDS12/05/21 11:18 AM
19

This first paragraph here is everything. This just happened to me, and I too believed he meant what he said. Turns out, I think I was lied to and deceived for an opportunity to get into my pants. Harsh reality. He was the first person I saw potential with since a 15 year relationship ended ( I am 32). He lead me to believe he wasn’t dating when it’s now evident he was. I put this kid on a pedestal, never again. I’ve been reading books which have helped me immensely. You are just as good as them …
/r/askFDS07/05/21 03:25 PM
12

True. I’ve seen this being done on TikTok. I guess I assume it would make them aware that we are aware it’s being done and humiliating on their end to be filmed doing so. I really think there is no way around it. It’s just crazy. I don’t ever feel safe walking alone.
/r/askFDS03/05/21 01:58 PM
21

Same. I have learned to tolerate it unfortunately. Sometimes I will just give a look. The other day a guy stared at me so intense he scared me. His light went green, he did not drive away.. and then put down his window. I was shaking. But I am too nervous to be confrontational. I might start recording honestly. Seems to make them uncomfortable.. wish I had better advice. It sucks.
/r/askFDS03/05/21 11:27 AM
3

This is my problem.. I’m trying to be more relaxed but after work the thought of even getting ready for a dinner exhausts me. It’s pathetic I know. Trying to find someone worth it I guess is even harder.
/r/askFDS29/04/21 03:44 PM
1

I feel like I went crazy first kinda... but I guess there was some reason as to why. Idk.. upset I acted how I did. It’s not me.
/r/askFDS10/04/21 10:39 PM
2

Facts.
/r/askFDS10/04/21 11:26 AM
1

Love this so much. Thank you <333
/r/askFDS10/04/21 01:08 AM
3

Way too much a god complex going on for him to ever give me an apology or so much a reply to my sorry text. But you’re right. We will do better. Always hear to message if you’re try to react and need someone to talk to.
/r/askFDS09/04/21 09:11 PM
3

I did not. And looking back I was maybe gaslit a bit but didn’t realize. It doesn’t make my behavior any better but I’m now realizing this is more about me than him. Every female is so worthy, and it seems we are almost the ones seeking the validation when it should be the other way around. I reacted so desperate and needy when I should have just said ok have a good one. And I regret that most. If anything, it’s a huge lesson.. what sucks is what the consequence of the lesson was/is. And three w…
/r/askFDS09/04/21 07:24 PM
1

Omg... you’re so on point here. And the only reason I reacted the way I did was because I saw something.. and then it went downhill. Typically, I find, if a female reacts there’s a reason. I was blind-sided completely. I still should have reacted different but after reading your post there is one-hundred percent a reason why I did what I did. Does that make it okay.. no. And honestly, though, we weren’t in a relationship he always said there was no one else then he’s seeing’s someone so..it’s al…
/r/askFDS09/04/21 07:08 PM
5

Omg... this is what I think happened to me. I have no confirmation but I’m almost positive. Also, my past relationship, awful. When I finally got the courage to leave I did... and never even acted like how I did with this guy.
/r/askFDS09/04/21 03:31 PM
2

Ugh, yeah you’re right. Why I didn’t walk away in the first place.. I’ll regret for a while. I’m so much better than begging anyone or even calling out their sketchy behavior...
/r/askFDS09/04/21 03:18 PM
3

I needed that!! I’m going to blast that my whole way home from work. Only problem is he’s not really low value... though, he lied to me. But he’s extremely dedicated and is on his way to having a great, stable career. I’m trying to remind myself that this doesn’t make him high value.
/r/askFDS09/04/21 03:17 PM
2

Well it was his behavior with me. I felt I needed to defend myself in some manner. Yet, I should have just walked away from the whole thing like I do in every situation in my life. But I was completely blind-sided. And while I don’t want it to happen to someone else, I had to let him know it wasn’t fair treatment especially after he was making me out all bad..
/r/askFDS09/04/21 03:03 PM
5

He blocked me, once I kind of started to call him out on his shitty behavior. The whole story is quite insane.. but I still acted in a way where I am so embarrassed. Apparently he is already seeing someone. When he told me he was not. It’s crazy. I just feel awful. I’m very image conscious, and never acted like how I did, it’s been hard.
/r/askFDS09/04/21 02:34 PM
7

Love this thank you so much <3
/r/askFDS09/04/21 01:32 PM
3

Get yourself off, duh sis
/r/askFDS17/03/21 11:25 PM
3

Going through this... it’s hell isnt jt? My emotions are all over. Just need time. My days are getting easier already :)
/r/askFDS18/02/21 12:04 PM
4

Starting off mine have been about an hour.
/r/askFDS29/01/21 05:59 PM
1

That is... in speechless actually. I guess the overly nice ones can be suspect.
/r/askFDS10/01/21 03:50 AM
3

I know. It’s disgusting. You never know who someone is. That’s the very fact of why I’m suspicious of a 31 year old liking a 19 year olds picture. The picture is quite innocent but sexualized for sure a bit. Not like she’s sitting in a field with flowers.
/r/askFDS09/01/21 03:16 PM
3

Yeah sucks really bad but I think this is what I have to do. And good point with not telling him. Also, he has a profession which is really admirable and good, so strange and I can’t believe it happened. I genuinely liked the guy. Upwards I guess. Thanks for the advice.
/r/askFDS09/01/21 11:35 AM
28

First off, it’s NOT YOUR FAULT. Took me years after my relationship to realize this, and it may take you sometime too, but I promise you, it’s not YOU. Second, there is no way to not feel what happened. I was like you. I lost weight, couldn’t eat.. all that- so I get it. You need to unfortunately feel it a little bit but try to not let it consume you. He does not deserve you. You are better than this. As for living with him that’s tough. Just deal with it the best you can? Is there not anywhere …
/r/askFDS31/12/20 05:06 PM
5

No hun, you did the right thing. I know exactly how you feel. Feel the pain, it’s going to suck for a little bit and hurt but it will get better.. it truly does take time... and time truly does help heal. You the made the right choice, when a guy wants to be in relationship with a girl he will do so. His excuses are just that excuses. He doesn’t get you, just because he can, with no commitment... remember that.
/r/askFDS30/12/20 01:25 AM
8

I’m the exact same. I basically accepted this is just who I am. But, I feel I’ve become stronger with sticking up for myself and being more vocal. It started with therapy, and a lot of daily cognitive work.
/r/askFDS10/12/20 01:11 PM
21

Nahhh he’s outta your league in fact. So go for it, just remember; you’re too good for him :)
/r/askFDS04/12/20 12:53 PM
12

I just got done being used too. I was sad for a little but feeling a lot better now. Better we saw true colors earlier on.
/r/askFDS16/11/20 11:48 PM
5

Need forever I feel at this point lol!
/r/askFDS09/11/20 03:27 PM
7

For sure. I’m not saying do not snoop. But also have to remain rational because our thoughts will get the best of us. It seems so far this guy has communicated with her and even removed someone only after knowing her six weeks, that says something ( to me anyway). But yeah, Instagram can help out find shady things.
/r/askFDS09/11/20 02:43 PM
3

Just don’t act on it!! Unless totally deemed reasonable/have a legitimate reason.
/r/askFDS09/11/20 02:23 PM
8

To me, and coming from someone who is the same, you’re well on your way to self-sabotaging. I do this like a pro, so I can see it through what you’re saying/asking, because it’s exactly what I would be asking. Continue to vet, look out for red flags but don’t let it consume you. Six weeks is soon to say that ( I think) but I also think if I was super into someone and he was telling me this I would be extremely happy. It sounds to me you have someone who appears to be a good communicator, and als…
/r/askFDS09/11/20 01:09 PM
1

For me, more than good enough. I somewhat struggle with posts that I see men that I’m talking to and what they like. I can’t bring it up for obvious reasons but sometimes it is a red flag for me and can state their intentions. I’m also learning that sometimes this is just what men do, the hard part is wondering if that’s where it ends or are they in their DMs. Honestly, he handled it and took care of it, he listened to you and reassured you ( it seems). Also, she hasn’t even posted so I would le…
/r/askFDS09/11/20 12:42 PM
1

First off, breathe. This just happened to me and I almost screwed it up. He kept attempting to see you, so that’s good. Don’t get inside your head. He may actually be busy. Take a few days, see if he reaches out. If he doesn’t, reach out to him. If it happens again... then dip.
/r/askFDS04/11/20 02:32 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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