Forgiveness

Snoo32629 · 2021-04-09T13:24:32+00:00

You block, delete, and never look back. You forgive yourself for tolerating LV behavior and for not leaving at the first red flag, learn from it, and become more vigilant the next time around. I feel like so often women are made to feel “crazy” for simply reacting to the things men do to them. I think all of us have been in the situation where instead of just saying “ok” and leaving at the first red flag, we’ve cried and begged and beat ourselves up for what an LVM did to us. It’s a learning experience, girl.

There’s a quote I have saved on IG that I really like: “Stop waiting for something that’s never going to happen. Stop looking for an apology from someone who did you wrong. The only apology you need is from yourself for living in denial. The only conversation you need to have is with the person in the mirror. The only ‘closure’ you need is with yourself. ‘Self, I fucked up. I ignored the signs and I stayed too long. I’m better than that. I apologize, it won’t happen again.’ That’s your closure.”

pretty_kill · 2021-04-09T14:22:36+00:00

I’ve definitely been there before. What I’ve realized lately is the act of blocking is taking back your power in the situation. Instead of wondering if he is ever going to reply, you deny him the chance to ever do so. Is it possible he will hit you up one day? Maybe. Will a successful relationship result from that? Hell no. If it was gonna work it already would have. Take your power back, block that loser, and focus your energy back into yourself.

I recently blocked 4 guys who had wasted my time. Would they have hit me up again one day? Probably. One actively was trying. Was it worth it constantly thinking about them on and off and wondering if they would or if I should reply? No. Blocking helps stop to stop you from wasting your energy on people who didn’t work out, along with allowing you to have the power to say, no, this person is not allowed in my life anymore to waste my time.

Blocking and deleting is standard FDS practice for a reason. Give it a try with this loser and I swear soon you will be thinking about him less.

BabyGothQ · 2021-04-09T15:26:22+00:00

I was in a similar situation.

After being in an abusive relationship for so long, a new guy being emotionally unavailable and pretending to be into me for sex triggered the absolute hell out me. I got so angry and went off on him like he was the abusive ex.

I felt horrible.

Yeah, the new guy was a shit, but he didn’t deserve all of the things I said to him. Any of them really. All he deserved was to be blocked.

So I left him alone until he was able to accept my apology. At the time I still thought I wanted something to do with him. I did not lol

But while he wasn’t talking to me, I made sure I accepted what I had done, without justification, and understood why I had done it. Why didn’t I just leave like I wanted to? Then I forgave myself for not knowing any better, because I’ve learned my lesson now.

Think of the situation as an opportunity for personal growth instead of a failure or regret.

dancedancedance83 · 2021-04-10T00:02:12+00:00

One thing my therapist told me when I “went crazy” with a guy who wasn’t treating me well was: “He doesn’t feel bad about his actions. Why should you?”

Not in a have no remorse kind of way, but in a match his energy kind of way. He did things. You did things. Sounds like the relationship wasn’t great and was toxic. Sometimes we are with people who bring out the worst in us because of what they’re doing. Now you know. Please throw him back in the pond. Be free.

All I can say is don’t let that shame consume you. Shame is such a powerful and damaging emotion and it can firmly plant itself in your psyche if you let it. You are a human being who makes mistakes and you had a big of a heart to reach out and apologize, like a good person. If he doesn’t want it, whatever. Says more about him than you.

Oh and, BLOCK AND DELETE HIM.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-04-10T14:29:14+00:00

Never apologize to any man who treated you badly.

Title	Forgiveness
Author	bananasplitchocodip
Upvotes	20
Comments	25
Date	April 9, 2021 1:10 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/mngus5/forgiveness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/forgiveness.792237 https://theredarchive.com/post/792237

Comments