~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 27 | If someone doesn't appreciate the humanities and thinks STEM is the only way to show academic prowess, next them.People like that think stem matters more because it covers the essentials, which I don't really know how to argue. But I guess since that's not going to happen that stem majors disappear, why is there a need to put down humanities majors? There's plenty of stem out there already. Also lol at the guy I argued with who made me put so much emotional labor to explain how women do not have equal opportunities as men to pursue STEM and then called me deranged and a liar because "I need help" constantl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 07:49 AM |
| 75 | "My ex is crazy" is still a red flag, even if he's telling the truthYup, I was anxious and crying because he told me over text that he was starting to love me less over stuff he never told me about so I couldn't fix. How do you say that to someone you claim you're trying to work on a relationship with? Apparently, his friends said I was manipulative even though even he said my crying was probably unintentional. It says so much that he's so easily influenced by them. He's literally so inactive in his life and lets everything be chosen for him. Like after our firs… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 07:36 AM |
| 155 | "My ex is crazy" is still a red flag, even if he's telling the truthYeah, I've acted like a crazy ex (nothing to that extent, no stalking or making fake accounts, etc.), just blowing up my ex's phone after he suddenly dumped me over text, insulted me, got mad at me, and ignored my questions and pleas for closure. I was undergoing so much intense anxiety, but I was almost never this way during the relationship. I was driven crazy. This is not characteristic of who I am. He didn't date me with crazy from the start, just at the end via reactive abuse. I was riddled… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 07:21 AM |
| 2 | How to make men pull their own domestic weight from day one.Yeah, I'll try to do that. I'm just sad my ex never forgave me for that because I only really did this 1x, and I didn't even really push/require them to change. I feel like most people could forgive this and move on if it was an honest mistake not in an effort to put them down. Like he would cite that as a big reason he left, but after we made up when I did that, he never brought it up again, so it seemed like he was just nitpicking. An unforgiving lover isn't worth it either. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/05/21 07:19 PM |
| 10 | How to make men pull their own domestic weight from day one.The comparing to old relationships is what confuses me. Because I would wanna do that too to show that I expect better. But then they'll whine that you're toxic for comparing | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/05/21 03:51 PM |
| 20 | Your partner is a reflection of YOU ✌Yeah, I think something thats needs to be emphasized more is how to not want validation. Many girls are scared to leave because then they think why weren't they enough | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/05/21 02:02 AM |
| 30 | Ask Polly: Boyfriend telling her to break up with him if she wants anything better. Her parents wonder why she works so hard for this relationship. She seriously questioning whether or not to STAYI think she feels worthless. Like how could this guy not like her? She wants to prove that she's worthy. It feels like letting this guy go would let him win while she still feels like she loses because she wanted him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/05/21 01:11 AM |
| 15 | Your partner is a reflection of YOU ✌But don't they say the way someone treats you doesn't reflect you? Like if they treat you poorly, that's a reflection of them? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/05/21 01:09 AM |
| 7 | Just got attacked by a man on the street for not talking to him.This is why women keep their distance from men. But LVM get so pressed, saying it's sexist to want to protect ourselves smh This man on woman violence is not comparable to any race on another race violence when walking down the street | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/21 09:29 PM |
| 1 | It’s okay to let men failThey'll make fun of you, saying they didn't even use your help and got an internship without the resume you helped make for them. Like okay? You're insulting me for supporting you? You kept complaining how worried you were about jobsearching, so I helped. Either way, I'm a FGLI WOC, and your parents literally work for the company you want to work at, so was it that much of a success over me? If anything, you should've been helping me. LVM are so ungrateful and want to antagonize. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/21 09:03 PM |
| 5 | Give a guy a bit of power and he'll use it to harrass a woman.Wow this is on the front page | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/21 09:31 PM |
| 109 | Signs he just doesn’t give a fuck about you: part 1‼️My LVX was pretty much none of these except for horribly conflict-avoidant and poor communicator, hypocritical, almost never introspective, insulting at times, and unsupportive ("you can come to me for help, but just know what I'll say", doesn't defend me like I'd hope, etc.) "sensitive" sadboi. He might even seem HV because he's attractive, well-educated, well-off, responsible, not porn sick, shared almost all my common beliefs and interests, didn't do 50/50, and gave some nice (could be better… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/21 07:39 AM |
| 28 | Do not take that condom offcw: vulgar sex language (?) This makes me sad because I got on planned parenthood birth control pills within 4 months of dating my first boyfriend, who had been with 4 or 5 sexual partners before. I went to planned parenthood so he can go in me raw, and he immediately said no to an STD test because he says all his past partners were clean (not good enough excuse and how did he verify that?). I'm glad I didn't let him cum inside me, but he already got too much. I really thought he was different/l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/21 02:04 AM |
| 216 | Just read a thread about the worst rejection men have experienced from a women that made the front pageEvery day, every woman experiences multiple events that would be her Joker moment if they were as fragile as men - not rupi kaur | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/21 01:56 AM |
| 24 | Who gives out the answer to a test?Men will say relationships shouldn't feel like a test (I sorta agree, but I don't think it's deliberate), that you're too rigid/"quantitative", and then they'll dump you for someone with lower standards | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 09:42 PM |
| 1 | How do you clearly show a man your standards/expectations? Consistent, precise, and rapid ACTIONVery clear explanation, thanks! I don't need to justify my standards. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/21 11:01 PM |
| 58 | 🤪🤪 male redditors are so funny 🤪🤪I'm not sure why "RIP your inbox" is particularly infuriating to me. I heard a guy say this irl (the typical fakewoke weeb gamer type) trying to get at some girl online, and it seemed weird like "omg you're so hot, and I have no chance". | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/21 05:30 PM |
| 5 | How do you clearly show a man your standards/expectations? Consistent, precise, and rapid ACTIONYeah, framing as a preference makes sense. I guess I counterintuitively thought it would create a greater motivation?? But yeah, if they don't do it, I leave. I can say what I liked that my ex did without saying my ex did that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/21 05:25 PM |
| 5 | That last conversation won't give you closureYeah, DARVO is probably what it was. I wasn't necessarily the nicest when I was upset at being ignored and while calling out the ways he hurt me, but I was nowhere near as cruel as him saying "I really dislike you. I'm so much happier without you" and aforementioned stuff. And yeah, I don't think he was truly sorry about his exes and he calls things toxic or manipulative very easily, such as for crying because he hurt me and then never letting us communicate, or I'm toxic for saying he was "the … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/21 05:22 PM |
| 7 | Can anyone else also not partake in romance movies/books anymore?Sleepless in Seattle is such a pickme movie. It was so boring and the female lead just pines over a literal stranger's voice, dumping her long-term boyfriend who proposed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/21 04:12 PM |
| 5 | How do you clearly show a man your standards/expectations? Consistent, precise, and rapid ACTIONHmm, I was thinking I'd say "the guys I usually go out with take me to restaurants instead of x date" or "do y for my birthday" when neither is true because I only seriously dated 1 guy who did neither. I'm concerned I'd be lying/"why are you comparing me to your (better) exes?? So tOxIc"/am curious what are other ways to subtly say what I want. I'm also curious when it's okay to say an ex did something better because it sounds mean/toxic, but like, I expect at least that level of treatment of s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/21 04:10 PM |
| 43 | “I just had my time completely wasted by a LVM douchebag, but OMG it was awesome!!” 🤦♀️I think a lot of women struggle with justice. They dislike having LVM think they're an angel | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/21 04:04 PM |
| 8 | That last conversation won't give you closureSorry for long comment lol My LVX has not hoovered likely because he rebounded <2 weeks after he dumped me over text while getting mad at me if I asked questions. I feel bad because I was the one who asked for closure 2x, denied 2x, insulted 2x, etc. I apologized profusely (while he never did) because he blamed it all on me at first. Then, I realized actually at least half of the problem of the relationship was him. So then the second time I contacted him, I wanted to tell him all the ways he wa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/21 03:52 PM |
| 14 | That last conversation won't give you closureYeah, I genuinely don't think my LVX remembers what he did because he demonized me and rewrote history to avoid accountability, accusing me of stuff I didn't do. I think it helps me to know it's not my job to teach him. However, I think the problem many women is ACCEPTANCE that he will never learn or change or understand or feel sorry for what he did. It's the lack of justice that we struggle with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/21 03:40 PM |
| 16 | That last conversation won't give you closureFor me, I was treated as a nuisance for wanting closure and an apology. No recognition of what he did and literally saying "I don't think I did anything wrong" I was blocked everywhere as a power move, not because it was unsafe for him | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/21 03:37 PM |
| 2 | “I don’t remember ordering my relationship off the a-la-carte menu” 💀They are usually better at expressing themselves than neurodivergents. Am I wrong? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 04:32 AM |
| 1 | “I don’t remember ordering my relationship off the a-la-carte menu” 💀I guess so. I find a lot of it pretty helpful in understanding relationships better but don't fully subscribe to them. I just don't think discussing them for explicit communication is automatically reprehensible or manipulation | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 02:43 AM |
| 5 | “I don’t remember ordering my relationship off the a-la-carte menu” 💀Idk, I feel like it's assuming a bit too much to assume that all people who discuss attachment theory or love languages are just saying it to manipulate. Plenty of women use it. Their intended purpose is for explicit communication. Things can be discussed to be extra clear. I'd leave when there's no follow up on what they're saying. You can do what you want. I think it's just a bit too defensive. It's not something reprehensible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 02:41 AM |
| 3 | “I don’t remember ordering my relationship off the a-la-carte menu” 💀Yeah tbh I notice this too. I'm trying to focus more on acts of service. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 02:29 AM |
| 2 | “I don’t remember ordering my relationship off the a-la-carte menu” 💀I've pretty much been saying that. Leave if they are just saying these concepts but not really using them properly. I'm just saying it helps to understand those concepts and isn't necessarily a conspiracy to hurt people. Some people use them incorrectly, and you must weed them out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 02:29 AM |
| 13 | “I don’t remember ordering my relationship off the a-la-carte menu” 💀You're allowed to not want to date autistic people, but your comment is written in a way to demean them, which is not okay. Autistic people can be LVM, but your comment insinuates that they automatically are by nature of being autistic. Talking about love languages and attachment styles are an explicit way to communicate expectations. Just because you don't need it doesn't mean it's not helpful for other people. Secure women read these books too. It's just that men tend to misuse them. I would n… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 01:44 AM |
| 30 | “I don’t remember ordering my relationship off the a-la-carte menu” 💀I haven't heard of erotic blueprint. So no comment. I think learning about attachment styles is helpful in recognizing how you yourself (and your partner) can/need to improve in a relationship and gain clarity on stuff like "why does he do that?". Attachment styles does not mean making excuses for the other person (or yourself) when they treat your poorly. As for love languages, I think everyone should be receiving and expressing all 5 love languages, but I think the point is that some love lang… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 12:28 AM |
| 7 | I wish I would have understood this earlier in life!Yeah love is not enough. I think your comment sorta agrees with mine. If the other person is unwilling to be better, leave. I just wanted to be clear that you won't always agree with your partner, and there may be circumstances that pose a threat to your relationship. It won't constantly be all rainbows and butterflies. But the minimum is to at least have the other person try. Sometimes, trying still won't be enough. I think I'm just trying to prevent toxic positivity and unrealistic fairy tale … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 09:24 PM |
| 14 | Words men use to insult us that are actually compliments? Let's get a list going!Opinionated is cool and confident until it's an opinion they disagree with. Then, you're too stubborn despite them never changing their opinion to fit yours | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 07:45 PM |
| 4 | Words men use to insult us that are actually compliments? Let's get a list going!My LVX called me too "quantitative" which is already weird. I guess he meant too anal or OCD (I don't like either term to describe people, but you get the gist). Basically, I was too organized, too Type A, too particular about things. My standards were too high. (Is this negging?). Idk dude, specificity creates comfort and accountability for me. This is coming from the "logical" sex. My "quantitativeness" is the reason I planned almost all our dates smh. I lack privilege and can't afford to just… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 07:44 PM |
| 7 | I wish I would have understood this earlier in life!As long as you can both handle conflict well. It won't always be perfect, but both people put the effort and care in. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 07:38 PM |
| 8 | Imagine wanting to take multiple girls for coffee and not even being able to pay for it and then complaining about women using men in the comments. What a scrote. The pickmeishas in the comments are even woseI still am on a level up journey, but I am glad that before FDS, I never paid for a date and only very occasionally bought stuff myself (not for him) Also that my last LVX wasn't porn sick and was actually quite well-groomed and well-developed in life, health, and academic skills. He just had crappy relationship skills, so it's sometimes confusing to think "my LVX isn't as bad as the LVM I see on FDS", but I have to remind myself he still wasn't good enough for me. And he failed to appreciate my… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 03:35 PM |
| 5 | Banned from other subs just for being a member of FDS?This seems a bit weird because that sub is generally about racism, not sexism. I haven't been banned, and I generally like that they recognize some people on Reddit are just super racist | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 03:22 PM |
| 8 | I absolutely can not stand this trend of woman thanking their male partners for "putting up with them" on social media.I think LVM do something similar by posting memes how their girlfriends could've chosen anyone but say "there, I choose that one" (their worthless ass). Like literally. They feel grateful their girlfriends have such bad taste and aren't apologetic about sucking or trying to be better | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 03:20 PM |
| 8 | Educating my daughter on what men will say when she is confident and strong in her opinions, what are we missing?Yup, unfortunately many avoidants and narcs have fragile egos and can't handle constructive criticism. If you're not highly praising everything they do and not catering to their ego, you're "unappreciative." My LVX literally said he doesn't think he has to change anything about himself because he has some new girl he rebounded with <2 weeks after dumping me over text (because he can't handle being "lonely") who doesn't complain (has lower standards). I am not giving sensitive sadbois a chance an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 05:30 AM |
| 8 | Educating my daughter on what men will say when she is confident and strong in her opinions, what are we missing?They will say the disrespect is part of the joke because it's "subversive EdGy dArK humor" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 01:32 AM |
| 10 | I remember some post/comment where we were trying to think of examples of Rich HVMs in public.. who called this one?!? 😬Forgive me if this sounds pickme, but perhaps she knew it was a scam too and was just in it for the money? I wouldn't blame her haha. Bill Gates seems to not be a HVM so gold digging isn't really an insult here | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 12:31 AM |
| 47 | Educating my daughter on what men will say when she is confident and strong in her opinions, what are we missing?Ooo, I said this on a similar post: "Yup, LVM love to lower your standards by saying you already ask too much and that other guys would be even worse than him rather than trying to be better. That way, you feel desperate to stay with him because you think this is the best you'll get. I wish I realized this earlier and didn't just accept that I was hard to love" (Yes, I am worthy of love) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 10:06 PM |
| 16 | Educating my daughter on what men will say when she is confident and strong in her opinions, what are we missing?Ime, they like when you're opinionated because it shows confidence until it's an opinion they disagree with | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 10:01 PM |
| 111 | Educating my daughter on what men will say when she is confident and strong in her opinions, what are we missing?Why do we gotta constantly be nice even about things that infuriate us? The moment we stand up for ourselves, it's over. We're crazy for showing emotions apparently. We're allowed to be angry and not constantly tone police ourselves once we keep having to complain about the same issue. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 10:00 PM |
| 96 | Educating my daughter on what men will say when she is confident and strong in her opinions, what are we missing?Because you never bothered to resolve or communicate the problem with me smh | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 09:55 PM |
| 21 | Educating my daughter on what men will say when she is confident and strong in her opinions, what are we missing?Oof I just commented this on a different post: They call you "stubborn" or "close-minded" if you disagree with their opinion, but they never change their opinion to fit yours. You're too "quantitative" for wanting a clear discussion/argument. Aka organized and Type A. My LVX said nearly everything on this list and in the comments smh Also, so many men lowkey think they're smarter than their girlfriends. Seeing how my LVX talked about his exes, he thought they were dumb, and I think he eventually… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 09:53 PM |
| 19 | Educating my daughter on what men will say when she is confident and strong in her opinions, what are we missing?Ooo this falls into gaslighty language. Which tbh is a bit unclear sometimes because a lot of supposed gaslighter language is also said by the gaslightee, such as "I didn't say/do that", "you misremembered" or "you misinterpreted that." Sucks because I have said all these things and am afraid people like my LVX will think he's the victim because I said those things when it was really him who just didn't listen to me and accused me of stuff I didn't do because he purposely demonized me rather tha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 09:49 PM |
| 103 | Is Bill Gates LVM?He could clear student debt too! I don't understand why he only gives out about 300 Gates Scholarships each year. I think his focus is on diseases, but I don't quite understand why he can't donate more. I know some people will say he isn't obligated to, but... why not lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 07:10 PM |
| 26 | No HVW wants to be talked to like a porn star. The scrotes are realizing they’re c*ckblocking themselves! 💀Tbh, I don't feel too bad being compared in other contexts, but this sexual comparison just seem uncalled for, like putting down his ex's body. Like I positively compared my LVX with my other LVX, saying he was nicer, more handsome, and has more in common with me, which I think is acceptable (?). I don't really put down my exes, I usually can see the good in them but can also say what things they did that wronged me but try not to focus on either much | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 07:05 PM |
| 72 | Is Bill Gates LVM?I'm a little uncertain because I see many women here who are anti-marriage. I personally think marrying after 2 or 3 years is normal | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 05:43 PM |
| 78 | No HVW wants to be talked to like a porn star. The scrotes are realizing they’re c*ckblocking themselves! 💀My LVX said my boobs were much firmer and nicely shaped compared to his ex's... or that I had the best boobs and pussy he ever felt... idk that seems kinda weird | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 05:41 PM |
| 73 | Things That Perturb LVM 🤡Yup... took me a while to understand my first high school "bf" barely touched me because I was the Madonna in the Madonna-whore complex. Also, I wouldn't want an unconfident guy who's hot but doesn't know he's hot. So unattractive that I have to build his esteem for him. Not again | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 08:42 AM |
| 111 | I think guys only say "all guys watch porn" to try to make you believe you can't do betterYup, LVM love to lower your standards by saying you already ask too much and that other guys would be even worse than him rather than trying to be better. I wish I realized this earlier and didn't just accept that I was hard to love | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 04:56 AM |
| 149 | Things That Perturb LVM 🤡Men think they are sooo funny. I'm funnier than most of them, and I think a big reason I didn't feel as attracted to my LVX as I wanted to was because he didn't make me laugh a lot. I was the jokester | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 03:41 AM |
| 40 | Things That Perturb LVM 🤡They call you "stubborn" or "close-minded" if you disagree with their opinion, but they never change their opinion to fit yours | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 03:39 AM |
| 148 | Things That Perturb LVM 🤡I hate that men want a woman who doesn't know she's beautiful. Because she's more naive and "humble" I guess. Nah, I want a confident woman who doesn't appeal to the male gaze | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 03:38 AM |
| 43 | Sad men defending women are seen as “simps”, “betas”, or “white knights”. These are the same dudes that want us to be traditional. Yet aren’t men supposed to be defending and protecting women? Ya know, actually being men?They can't comprehend that some men defend women because they're right, not just to get in their pants | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/05/21 07:13 PM |
| 10 | Do you do vetting for attachment style and conflict style??I think I was volatile or hostile. I tried to be assertive and can come off stubborn as overcompensation because I didn't want to be stepped on. My LVX was probably also volatile or hostile. But I feel I made more efforts to change, communicate, come to a solution. I'm sort of okay with anxious because I'd rather be with them than an avoidant. Anxious people tend to try really hard to change and be better. Avoidants just blame you, whine, and ignore you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/05/21 03:28 PM |
| 2 | Do you do vetting for attachment style and conflict style??Ooo please do share! I hate how guys like my LVX would say women like us are too "quantitative". Basically too logical. We test too much apparently. We're just type A. The testing isn't that bad or unnatural. They just don't want to be better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/05/21 03:19 PM |
| 69 | Do you do vetting for attachment style and conflict style??I'm anxious and I won't be with an avoidant man anymore. It'll just hurt too much, and they rarely have the awareness to change. I might date anxious, but tbh the best is secure. Settling for an avoidant man means you're trying to build him, which is too much work. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/05/21 06:08 AM |
| 6 | From the dating subreddit, "Men shouldn't be expected to carry the entire weight of the dating experience, and women shouldn't be afraid to scare men away by "chasing" them and providing support."They get offended when you don't praise everything they do or introduce you to. They try to lower your standards by saying other guys wouldn't treat you as well as they do. I see other guys treat their girls like princesses, which I deserve. I am as good as those women. When you try to tell them you want them to do something better, they complain that you don't accept them or are too high maintenance or that "you deserve better" or that they can't rather than just try. It's really hard seeing th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/05/21 05:18 AM |
| 0 | Trying to get rid of my own pick-me BS fantasiesI can't really relate because tbh I love attention!!! lol This reminds me of that quote that's like "your taste in toxic men began when you chose Drake over Josh, Zack over Cody". Your post also reminds me of the hopeless fantasy of KDramas where the male lead is cold and arrogant while the female lead is sweet. The second male lead is super sweet to the female lead but gets ignored. I also used to be this way, thinking awww she changed and fixed him. Love is enough. But it isn't. I'm also learn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/05/21 12:39 AM |
| 11 | Any advice on planting FDS seeds in my pickmeisha niece?I'm around your niece's age (19) and am a recovering pickme. I never had boundaries and was always a people pleaser. I thought I had to settle for less because it will be so hard for anyone to love me more. Ngl I still got some big issues, but I've learned to stop blaming myself all the time; sometimes, it really is a LVM's fault first. That was big improvement #1. Coming here has helped me a lot. I always knew men kinda sucked, but nobody was quite brave enough to say it except on here. At firs… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/05/21 12:32 AM |
| 1 | Why do men feel entitled to participate in spaces made for women?Men really think that a women's only or black only space is bad because "any group with only x people is an echo chamber". That's such a simplistic way to think. This dude really told me that FDS is like the KKK because they only have 1 group. They don't understand that minorities/oppressed people need a safe space because it allows for more productive conversation rather than constantly being silenced or talked over by men or emotional labor to look at sexist comments and report them. Dude lite… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 09:53 PM |
| 51 | There’s a tidal wave of scrotes coming... are you ready?Oh I was actually thinking more HVM may come out because they know to respect quarantine. Hopefully, OLD won't be as trash as usual. But yeah, there will also be lots more LVM. I'm not sure and don't think I'll like anyone for a long time :/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 08:03 PM |
| 2 | NO! That is NOT a better ending! (Potential spoiler alert for Netflix “Hollywood”)Unrelated but I just don't like that they didn't let Anna May Wong speak Cantonese like she was supposed to instead of Mandarin | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 06:24 PM |
| 18 | If he wanted to he would vs. Love does not conquer allAh ok I think I got confused because people make so many excuses for why men do things, like "maybe he can't!". But it's usually for things that should be doable and not difficult. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 01:19 AM |
| 73 | Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted ToOmg haha is that a demon/zombie emoji? I love it Reminds me of how guys make fun of us or women in general for using emojis like sorry I just find that they're exciting/funny and spice up the written format lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/05/21 11:05 PM |
| 194 | Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted ToI'm not necessarily fat or even ugly I think, but I guess my friend was prettier. They'd always crowd and follow her while I was hanging out with her. Asking her questions and getting to know her but barely for me. They'd fill her yearbook with paragraphs and I just got a "have a good summer." I know I'm smart, nice, funny, and average or maybe above average in looks so idk. I guess she was nicer and prettier, which I don't blame for her. I just hate that those guys barely even tried being my fr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/05/21 09:57 PM |
| 7 | LVM Use Their Depression as a Guilt-tripIt's honestly so funny the level of stuff that they complain about. My LVX complained that his parents were too positive all the time and try very hard to act woke or that his dad isn't around often yet he avoids his dad now. Like dude, at least your parents don't actively insult and abuse you or are conservative. I'm not even mad at my dad for not being around because we're poor and be needs to work lmfao, shut up with your parents both making 6 figures | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/05/21 03:49 PM |
| 117 | Yes ladies. It's OUR fault.When is a man gonna read books, articles, and go to workshops? Almost never. I hate how us women try so hard to be better and blame ourselves while men almost always say "im unfixable. You deserve better. Wahhh" and blame us for their dEpREssIoN rather than putting in more effort | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/05/21 03:44 PM |
| 6 | The process of getting over a man who was no good for you is hard yet refreshingI'm starting to feel the same way. I know he's no good, but I just hate that he treated me poorly, never apologized, and gets to be happy. I want consequences for this guy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/21 05:29 PM |
| 0 | Keep it up sisters! Toss the trash in the can and slam the lid.After how many dates/months do you ladies start paying for some stuff? I dated a guy for 6 months and never paid for anything except very occasionally for myself. But I'm just wondering if it's the norm or standard for a guy to be paying for years or until marriage because I thought I would be willing to split (more often but probably still not 50/50) after several months of dating. Just genuinely curious! Obviously not splitting in the beginning | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/21 02:27 AM |
| 2 | LVM can act HV - Never forget itPrescriptivism in language isn't a good look | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/21 02:20 AM |
| 42 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 7 - Where TF are the High Value Men...is Online Dating Dead?!I told my LVX how my high school "bf" hurt me. At first, he was like how dare he do that to you?? I wanna fight him. Then, when he dumped me, he did it in the same manner and did many of the things that my high school "bf" did that hurt me. He thought that because I cried so much due to my high school "bf" (before I met him, I was over it for like 4 years), that meant I must have loved or cared about the high school "bf" more or he must have shown he cared about me more. So he got insecure about… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/21 04:05 PM |
| 3 | You did the right thing! ✨👑This is probably what my LVX thinks too though... He barely let us try, we barely got a chance. We were happy like 95% of the time, and like most avoidant men, he just let the issues pile up without telling me and then just gave up and broke up over a text, expecting me to just know how he was feeling | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/21 02:51 PM |
| 2 | ForgivenessI still believe we both deserve apologies. Although our behavior became overblown, they fueled it. It's not right, but it's understandable. We'll do better. | /r/askFDS | 09/04/21 07:59 PM |
| 4 | ForgivenessDid you never date this guy? Remember no girlfriend benefits for a guy who's not your bf! Either way, I get it I overapologized a ton too. Honestly for way too much stuff that wasn't even my fault, so I guess he like absolved himself of anything. He said he was still thinking how to improve (bs, why do you need 3 weeks to do that). I know now if you do apologize, do it sparingly. Men rarely apologize. | /r/askFDS | 09/04/21 07:12 PM |
| 3 | ForgivenessI'm going through something almost just like you, being called crazy after calling out his behavior, he got a new gf <2 weeks after we broke up, blamed it all on me, etc. Idk how popular this is because it sounds like I'm blaming other people for my behavior, but I believe most "crazy" girls weren't crazy before. The guys were crazymakers after blindsiding and discarding us like nothing, flipping like a switch. Leading us on, giving us hope, breaking our heart in inches. It's so hard, but we nee… | /r/askFDS | 09/04/21 06:50 PM |
| 1 | I hate that I lost the breakup, and he got to win with a new gf and generally easy life. I feel attacked (😥) that FDS advocates for ruthlessly ending relationships because they might agree with how he ended things with me. Like I do some of the things they complain about men doing. How to deal?So I have to let him just live on thinking he was an angel in this relationship and I was the villain who ruined everything? He never has to feel shame? And gets to just be happy? Never held accountable? | /r/askFDS | 08/04/21 03:40 PM |
| 25 | I hate that I lost the breakup, and he got to win with a new gf and generally easy life. I feel attacked (😥) that FDS advocates for ruthlessly ending relationships because they might agree with how he ended things with me. Like I do some of the things they complain about men doing. How to deal?I can't believe he called me the narcissist when I was the one who actually apologized for stuff smh. I get so mad when assholes don't even realize they're assholes. I wish he knew that and stopped blaming it all on me. And thank you. | /r/askFDS | 07/04/21 08:09 PM |
| 2 | Just because I was a pick me doesn't mean I deserved LVM treatment right?I also am pretty codependent and do the fawn response a lot, hate having an anxious attachment style :( I wish I was the one to at least dump my LVX, but I kept thinking if we worked on it, we'd be fine, but he just gave up after barely trying. I begged for him back. I think begging after being the dumper is worse, but I still feel like a loser because I was the one being dumped (over a text no less, after I told him how much it hurt when my first "bf" did that) just like before. I know I should… | /r/askFDS | 06/04/21 06:09 AM |
| 6 | Just because I was a pick me doesn't mean I deserved LVM treatment right?I think my standards are a bit above average but tbh wasn't even that high. I wanted him to comment nice stuff on my photos or help me argue with someone online (lol) or do a bigger gesture or act of service or write a longer card for my birthday, which he didn't do, etc. I was the less interested one for most of the relationship. But I became pickme when he started losing interest over things he never gave me the chance to fix (lol), accepting an indefinite break where we see each other as frie… | /r/askFDS | 06/04/21 05:52 AM |
| 1 | What is a HV way to tell someone they're not right for you?I meant if you're in the position to give someone closure and it wouldn't harm you, it seems fine? I was thinking if I dumped someone who wasn't that bad (not LVM), I'd try to answer their questions and give closure because it's what I would've wanted. Reading that linked post, it makes sense to not give an explanation if they were super shitty and you don't care/want them to be happy. I can't really relate to laughing at someone being vulnerable about feeling a connection to me... The other rea… | /r/askFDS | 06/04/21 03:09 AM |
| 4 | Help translating "you're too quantitative/test too much" and expressing expectations for gifts?He often said he was physically incapable of doing better because of his anxiety, which is apparently diagnosed?? He barely seemed to understand my issues when I was exhibiting anxious attachment style while he was being fearful avoidant. And then he was all waaah I'm never good enough for you. This was in response to stuff like telling him I'd like if he commented nice things on my social media posts or helped back me up in an online argument. Giftwise, I think he did try but shouldn'tve been s… | /r/askFDS | 05/04/21 09:29 PM |
| 1 | What is a HV way to tell someone they're not right for you?Sorry for commenting all late; I've been looking through old posts lok I think in this case, she already explained herself so it makes sense if she doesn't feel like explaining. However, is it really pickmeish to want to offer an explanation? I feel like we also get very disheartened being blindsided someone, and if someone is generally not LVM, why not be nice? I don't feel the need to potentially emotionally destroy someone unless they were really a jerk. Idk, I'm kinda just saying this becaus… | /r/askFDS | 05/04/21 05:31 AM |
| 3 | Why am I so angry when I know I deserve better ?It's because you can't believe the audacity of this man. You trusted him, thought he wouldn't be like everyone else who hurt you. And he was. And he isn't even sorry about it. He barely recognizes the pain he brings. At least that's my experience now. I wish my LVX would just admit he was an asshole instead of acting like the sole victim. Your ex sucks too. Liking sexy pics online (too obsessed) and unable to support you in your time of need. Smh. It sucks when the issues with these LVM don't se… | /r/askFDS | 04/04/21 04:33 PM |
| 6 | How do you not feel sad about a ex toxic relationship?lol same thing happened to me, including the Spotify thing, but he blocked me everywhere in the middle of me trying to tell him he was an asshole. He blocked me out of frustration and refusal to take accountability. We're here to block out of peace. I wish I could've blocked him since I never got the apology I deserve anyway. | /r/askFDS | 04/04/21 04:27 PM |
| 4 | Help translating "you're too quantitative/test too much" and expressing expectations for gifts?I think he got upset he put more effort than me (probably true tbh), but I think that's partially because we mostly just did whatever I suggested. He rarely suggested ideas or asserted any he had. It really annoys me that he doesn't see the ways I did contribute to our relationship. It was a pandemic relationship, but yeah, he could've come up with more date ideas; I did. I was worried because he called me unappreciative for asking for more, but I did say thank you. I probably could've done more… | /r/askFDS | 03/04/21 07:28 PM |
| 1 | How can I help a friend of mine?Thank you for caring for her. First of all, is this dude even good looking or good in bed? Is he rich? What is so attractive about him? Does he intermittently "treat her well"? Regardless, still too many red flags. I also struggle with letting go of people because I think one day it'll change if I try hard enough. I also thought I couldn't find anyone better. Although my LVX wasn't as bad as this guy, it still hurt me so much. Honestly, she should be ashamed to be with this dude; he does not mak… | /r/askFDS | 02/04/21 07:43 PM |
| 27 | How to bring more women to FDS or Reddit in general? I am so sick of seeing the lopsided misogyny on this site.I personally have shared FDS more anonymously but not as my real self because I don't think people will understand on first look :( In my comment history, I spend admittedly way too much time tryna tell redditors on a front page post that their comments are sexist and of course, they all say "it's just a joke, you're ignoring the intention, you're an asshole bully for saying this" (as if that matters lol) I try to provide some presence that shows disgust at these comments, but I guess it's kinda… | /r/askFDS | 02/04/21 07:12 PM |
| 2 | "If he wanted to, he would", but why doesn't he want me?I put in some effort although in ways that were not as obvious, like in acts of service and compliments as opposed to physical affection, as I'm not very touchy and it was my first relationship. It still probably wasn't as much as his effort but whatever. Tbh, I would've been glad to put in more effort; I was just kind of shy, but he just never gave me the chance to. I'm sort of confused about the "this is who I am. Take it or leave it." part of your advice. I feel I would've put in more effort … | /r/askFDS | 31/03/21 06:57 PM |
| 3 | "If he wanted to, he would", but why doesn't he want me?I think they just legit don't even realize some of the horrible stuff they did. They purposely forced themselves to get over me by creating a false image of me and can't handle being alone or being criticized lol. They couldn't live with themselves. He's blissfully ignorant, but I’ll feel good knowing I learn from the truth. I still can't believe his dumb friends said I was manipulative because I cried unintentionally after he hurt me. He used to complain his ex's friends never listened to his s… | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 06:48 PM |
| 2 | "If he wanted to, he would", but why doesn't he want me?It's funny, his friends are probably saying he dodged a bullet. He was just too stubborn and cowardly to see the truth and is the type to call any minor setback or inconvenience toxic when he was the toxic one. Thank you | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 06:29 PM |
| 2 | "If he wanted to, he would", but why doesn't he want me?He seems to value his rebound. He says he's so much happier without me (but he sure seemed happy for like 95% of our relationship until there were small problems he never bothered to resolve with me). But I think that's because she's an NLOG who has low expectations and doesn't call him out on things. He says he's so much happier without me even though our arguments were so small and just over text, and I think they last longer than we did. Just sucks he's happy because he doesn't deserve that l… | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 02:49 PM |
| 4 | "If he wanted to, he would", but why doesn't he want me?And no justice will come in terms of him realizing how awful he was to me huh I hate how privileged men are and how easily they can find a HVW lol | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 02:23 PM |
| 3 | "If he wanted to, he would", but why doesn't he want me?I guess I struggle with the fact that he didn't value me despite being a LVM, like the audacity lol | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 02:22 PM |
| 3 | "If he wanted to, he would", but why doesn't he want me?At the beginning, he probably did care about me twice as much, but he got tired that I gave a "fraction of the effort". Would HVM be ok with me not trying as much as they do? By "proving myself," I'm just annoyed the things he dumped me over aren't even true/as bad as he thinks. The things he insulted me about are mostly not true or are true of himself, and he doesn't even see it. He just let things deteriorate. When he started caring less, I guess I should've put more effort in the relationship… | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 02:21 PM |
| 2 | "If he wanted to, he would", but why doesn't he want me?There were a few qualities about me he didn't like, but I believe a lot of his criticisms or insults about me were based on misleading evidence that he never bothered to let me prove him wrong or I didn't even know was a "problem" until after we broke up i.e. he assumes the worst and quits easily. I believe the 2nd option is probably true. He couldn't handle my "high" expectations. Then, he got tired of trying I guess, and him pulling away made me anxious and hold on more. You're right. I let to… | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 04:16 AM |
| 11 | "If he wanted to, he would", but why doesn't he want me?So true, LVM keep complaining/whining "I'm sorry I'm never enough for you. You deserve better" and barely ever reflect on their actions. They only apologize to keep your expectations down but not for when they actually hurt you. I can list probably a dozen things I deserve an apology for. They just look for the next yes-man rebound who never calls him out. He dumped me because I cried after he hurt me, making him feel guilty. Maybe he should be thinking "damn, I messed up. How should I change to… | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 04:02 AM |
| 22 | "If he wanted to, he would", but why doesn't he want me?Yeah, my question was how do I not get offended or hurt by this? I keep wishing he'll realize what a jerk he was and apologize. I know now to vet more and don't believe their words so I can trust myself more. Idk, it's just very upsetting. I know I need to be happy single, but I want to be loved and feel safe. Disappointed that LVM seem HVM at first. | /r/askFDS | 29/03/21 01:48 AM |
| 31 | Block and Delete Him, Sis. Otherwise he will suck you back in or try to gaslight you.So funny how we tone police ourselves so they'll stop saying we lack empathy when they're the ones who fail to even acknowledge they hurt us. God it sucks so much, like they're living just fine, all privileged. Will they ever get karma or understand what a jerk they were to me? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/21 04:59 AM |
| 2 | Should the 3 month rule be longer?Oh I thought because it would be the height of passion, which I didn't wanna miss out on, but you're right | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/21 09:02 PM |
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