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BabyGothQ Archive

View 4 posts and 495 comments by BabyGothQ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

This was THREADED with so much inner misogyny and fundamental misunderstanding of our society, it’s sad. Unfortunately, you’re not the first person to make something literally, exactly, like this. Considering you listed every single point they all did tells me y’all don’t get it at all..
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 03:51 AM
1

OoO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 12:12 AM
11

I love Johnny Depp, I’ve never had any sort of attachment to Amber Heard. I’m sure she’s toxic and abusive, that’s not really in question. But she’s not the only one. They both are. I’ve been trying to stay out of it/keep away from it for the reasons everyone else has mentioned: men/people using this as an excuse to flame women/a woman and justify their own evil. They are BOTH toxic. End of story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 10:52 AM
17

Here’s the thing: if they had an agreement where they are both allowed to go outside the marriage and she’s being taken care of, it was all above board and honest, I would say do you sis. BUT this is not the case here. She clearly doesn’t like it but is convincing herself this is an agreed to arrangement because she wants to keep living the lifestyle they’ve built together. The only reason she knows about all this is because he’s lazy and she’s allowed it. I’m glad they’ve worked out how much sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/22 10:41 PM
10

oh yeah, I have an infinite amount of stories to tell like that too. people thinking that because I kept to myself, was kind and generous, didn’t ask for much that meant I didn’t feel anything or have any needs. Plenty of shock to go around when people realized that I not only have needs and emotions but I heard everything they said and noted everything they did because I’m not stupid or hard of hearing lol and double shock when they were confronted with the consequences of their actions and pro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 11:42 PM
46

Insecurity is loud! Confidence is quiet. They will always have an issue with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 10:36 PM
73

lmaooo it’s constant. “Oh you were running away?? big shit eating grin you must’ve been so scaarreeedd” No, I just didn’t want to talk to them and got up and walked away lol “You’re too nice and forgiving people will take advantage of you, you’re gullible” shocked Pikachu face when I walk out of their lives
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 10:14 PM
112

My religious, married Grandma has been sweet talked by old men, women, middle aged men lmao once or twice even in front of me!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 09:58 PM
10

I think you’re definitely projecting. I read the title as it was written.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 11:15 PM
31

lmaooo which is literally because without it women wouldn’t go out for fear of their safety 🙃 they had to create incentives for women to party in spaces with lots of men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 06:00 PM
16

Me watching Firefly and having them say “r@pe” and “wh0re” every other episode, and there even being a projected storyline where the companion is supposed to be gang-r@ped by Reavers.. yeah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 04:18 PM
74

I can’t stand this double standard bs that men have ingrained in their psyches. Women have been unprotected and assaulted as a whole since the beginning of time. Now that feminism has paved a way for women to not be objects used for men and their plot advancement, it’s like they’ve erased the entirety of history from their brains and act like women have had ‘rights and privileges’ the entire time lmao this isn’t the point of the post, but I’ve noticed this phenomenon with racism, sexism, etc. wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 02:40 PM
26

“capt’n, you know is bad luck to have w’men on board our ship!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 01:49 PM
6

It depends. Is he willing and able to grow (teehee) and learn or is he lazy, selfish or pornsick? Does he seem concerned and engaged with your pleasure or is it more of an afterthought or a “oh you can cum too if you want”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 11:30 AM
20

This ^ STOP responding. Only consequences. You’ve stated your boundary now. It’s done.
/r/askFDS03/11/21 02:09 AM
15

disGUSTING
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:03 AM
27

Not them consistently showing us that they’ll say or do anything to shame women for existing. How are people gonna be like “feminism is a curse”, “equality means I can punch you in the face right??”, “things have changed for the worse since back in the good old days!” then call women gold diggers, lazy, trash for wanting to be SAHM while their partner provides. Like??? leavewomenalone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 03:04 AM
67

This one! Believe their actions, and how those actions make you feel, rather than their words. There will be someone else who can act in a better way for you and vice versa. Don’t forget the most attractive thing about a person is being wholly themselves, doing what’s best for them, not chasing, prioritizing living their best life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 02:16 AM
3

oh dear.. it’s so much more than that..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 12:13 AM
523

lol “women and children first” was made into a social rule BECAUSE men were constantly endangering and leaving behind their wives and children to save themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 11:42 AM
38

lmaoooo the delusion, as if being a SAHM isn’t the tradition
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 01:50 AM
7

I LOVE this! Thanks for sharing, it’s so nice to hear. Especially since I’ve “lost” all old relationships and am in the process of building new ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 04:40 AM
24

sooo.. he never liked his girlfriend and was keeping her from someone who could genuinely love her so that he would have a placeholder pu$$y until he “makes it big”??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 04:28 AM
20

There’s a reason the “pretend to be into porn” thing is a thing.. all you’ve done by having this chat with him is teach him what to do and say and how to act to keep you around. That’s it. I’m very hopeful, and will continue to be, that there are men out there who, once confronted with conversations like these, actually do the inner work to change for the better, for themselves. But with where we are right now in the dating world, in the world in general.. it’s lookin like the beginning of a “re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 04:20 AM
82

Yiiiiiikes, I’m getting “I’m cheating on my pregnant wife, so I pick fights and hope she won’t notice” vibes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 12:59 AM
59

Yeah, just say things like “that’s not something we need to worry about.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 12:45 AM
8

ahhahahaaa
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:41 PM
5

so, so many issues
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 09:17 PM
2

JAIL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 08:33 PM
6

They need to feel needed because they aren’t whole and secure without a woman subjugating themselves to them. Period. Women are starting to understand that “I don’t need you but I want you and I’m committed to this relationship.” is a healthy lifestyle and men “want” every woman they ever come into contact with, so they don’t value that even though it CLEARLY works in their favor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 06:41 PM
183

It’s a similar situation to the “crazy cat lady”. Cats don’t give a fuck about what you want lol they don’t obey you, they’re difficult to control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 05:18 AM
63

Honestly, with my biggest, baddest relationship the last straw was him finally admitting that he didn’t think we were good together. It was like I knew he was lying to himself and me when he was so gung ho that we could work - he was and still is incapable and unwilling to do that. But I couldn’t give myself permission to leave because his words were saying “I love you”, “I want this”, etc. even though his actions were saying the opposite. For some reason, I just wouldn’t let myself believe his …
/r/askFDS19/10/21 04:23 AM
40

Yeah, I’ll do my best! Remember that a HVM would never want to leave you unclear. For both of your sakes, they don’t have the time nor the energy to play games and respect your time and energy as well. Let him know that you deserve clarity and respect, and if/when he asks what you mean, or just to expand upon that, tell him about these specific instances and why they matter to your relationship as a whole. For example, “when you were making jokes about me spraining my wrist without making sure t…
/r/askFDS19/10/21 04:11 AM
44

oof indeed lol I spent a lot of my relationships with LV or NVM confused. This was by design. If I’m confused they get to keep me orbiting them, trying to get closure or figure out whether I’m going crazy or not. If they gave me clarity, one way or another, the games would be over: they’d either have to commit to me wholeheartedly and stop the lying and whatnot or I’d know the best thing to do is leave. Neither is ideal for L or NVM because they’re incapable and/or unwilling to commit and too in…
/r/askFDS19/10/21 04:01 AM
80

You feel bad because of asserting boundaries. Even in the most healthy relationships, people will have conflicting opinions and ideals, want and need different things, etc. If you’re interested in sticking around, have a clear conversation about how these issues have made you feel - his response will tell you everything you need to know and inform your next decision: falling back or leaning in. Remember confusion is an answer as well.
/r/askFDS19/10/21 01:07 AM
12

YIKES! Definitely LVM behavior. Manipulation, borderline gaslighting, boundary stomping, laziness..
/r/askFDS18/10/21 10:31 PM
71

yes, he may be jealous of you since you’re both in the online community and trying to lord his success over you. that’s definitely an option too. I didn’t realize this, for like, most of my life but men get jealous of women. Because of your beauty, your (incorrectly) perceived advantages, your high value, your success and/or career..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 03:38 AM
66

I didn’t say you dated, I said he wants/wanted to date you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 03:10 AM
119

He might be trying to “get back at you” or “humble you” by being “too busy” while flaunting all the girls he’s hanging out with that aren’t you. Sounds like he wants/wanted to date you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 02:38 AM
7

Isn’t it wild how narcissists always seem to be someone’s “twin flame” lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 02:27 AM
13

Damn. Yeah, I’d be celebrating with you! Lol holy shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 02:23 AM
71

POLICE??!??!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 10:42 PM
1

this sounds sus, let it go
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 04:13 AM
9

Make a list of the behaviors of your ex displayed, then the complete opposite of them, then find the middle ground between them. That might help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 03:55 PM
3

yeah, that’s fair enough. I’m the type of person who prefers to resolve my icky feelings on my own. whatever floats your boat!
/r/askFDS16/10/21 03:24 AM
5

what do you think you would gain from option A? remember that there’s not really such a thing as “closure” in a lot of interpersonal situations. personally, I would lean more towards option B, and only go to option A if he asked.
/r/askFDS15/10/21 02:29 PM
3

you’re very welcome, though it sucks that you can relate so well :/ just remember to take care of your emotional, mental and physical well-being during this process of boundary setting. it’s ROUGH out here sometimes, but it gets easier and you feel more and more proud and relieved as time goes on. that’ll help you remember that it’s worth it. edit: oh! also sometimes you’ll feel really mean doing the grey rock method, and sometimes you might be mean on accident trying to overcorrect people pleas…
/r/askFDS15/10/21 02:15 AM
7

I’m definitely still working on it, but #1 is giving myself grace and compassion for still reacting instead of responding when I do get provoked. Remembering that I’m not talking to conscientious, well-balanced people and that, either on purpose or subconsciously, they don’t have my best intentions in mind has helped me stop feeling guilty for setting my boundaries and sticking to them. Another thing has been saying something once and not letting people try to haggle me down or poke, prod and in…
/r/askFDS14/10/21 10:32 PM
13

I’m glad this helped a bit! You were spot on with your second assessment. Keep your boundaries, 100% but no longer care whether or not you’re heard or understood. A sort of “my way or the highway” vibe but without feeling the need to change anyone or anything about the company. For example, in my household I was the people pleaser, I was desperate for people to hear me, understand me, accept me. I needed people to change (they were abusive, manipulative, users, etc.) so I was constantly coming u…
/r/askFDS14/10/21 04:47 PM
22

first, the other woman is definitely scared that by association she’ll receive crap from the obvious misogynistic culture of the company. keep an eye on her and don’t vent to her at all, but she’s just worried that her meek woman act won’t keep her safe. it’s the manager that you need to focus on, because he’s the only one with the real “power” here to change things. at this point, you need to re-evaluate your goals: since you said you want to leave the job, why are you pushing so hard on changi…
/r/askFDS14/10/21 02:54 PM
5

Great advice! It always rubbed me the wrong way when people would say there’s nothing to do and I shouldn’t expect a “fancy” date. I was like “I can think of 10 things off the top of my head that I would do on my own, so if you’re trying to take me to the bowling alley/bar again you’re being lazy.”
/r/askFDS02/05/21 04:33 AM
6

Gross and familiar.
/r/askFDS29/04/21 11:49 PM
6

Yikes. So many, MANY red flags. You absolutely made the best decision for yourself and you absolutely can trust your intuition. You did try to help him. You’ve done all you can do and you deserve someone who won’t drain you and hold you down, even if you love them.
/r/askFDS28/04/21 05:50 AM
2

It sounds like you haven’t actually taken the time to sit with yourself for a while. If ever. It’s vital that you take time in silence with yourself, nourishing, pampering, getting to know who you are. It’s v important.
/r/askFDS26/04/21 10:25 PM
14

It’ll be a natural progression. Specifically, in my opinion, somewhere between the 3rd date and right before or during the exclusivity chat. I understand what you mean, I wouldn’t want to become exclusive with someone without knowing their stance on certain things. I would continue getting to know them, letting them get to know me, having fun and letting things flow naturally. Eventually meeting family will come up, or a friend will mention their own children, etc. and you’ll have an opportunity…
/r/askFDS26/04/21 04:55 AM
41

You’re entirely way too invested and setting yourself up for failure, right now. It’s been 1 date. This is the date where everyone puts their best foot forward. This is the date where everyone is on their very best behavior and shines like the Chrysler building. This is when you need to be at your most suspicious, not flattering him immensely. He’s definitely picked up on your energy that you’re this into him, without a doubt. If you don’t want to get played, you really need to be studying the h…
/r/askFDS25/04/21 07:09 PM
6

Right? He’s not for anyone lol everyone has feelings. He’s incapable of handling them and should stay single until he is.
/r/askFDS23/04/21 08:30 PM
19

oooph, sis. Something inherent with women, but especially with anxiety, is that you feel and are explicitly told over and over again that you’re “too sensitive”. No one is “too sensitive”. There’s a reason and a rhyme for why you are the way you are and if you’re not hurting anyone, what’s wrong exactly with being too sensitive? When people tell you you’re too sensitive, what you need to translate that to is ”I want to keep harming/being toxic to you and if you keep having feelings about it, it’…
/r/askFDS23/04/21 07:37 PM
2

So, he’s definitely been breaking into her apartment and leaving slugs, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 06:41 PM
1

Not her excusing it when she’s literally at-risk already and he thought it would be “funny” to destroy her physical and mental health..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 06:33 PM
2

ayyyyeee 🤘🏽👅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:38 PM
1

Please!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:34 PM
1

I’ve heard that too by some rando scrote on the internet, “women have it easier because of girl power!” completely ignoring the fact that the only reason the “girl power” movement exists is because women and girls literally have no power lmao like??? And they get so upset when we refuse to band together en masse for men’s issues! As if they weren’t actively oppressing and harming us the entire time we were fighting for our own rights. Now that we’ve gotten to this point the men are like “but hey…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:29 PM
2

Honestly, a lot of the women who came here at first absolutely did NOT agree with the handbook. You see it all the time, the now FDSers who were like “yeah, I heard bad things and I morally disagreed with this, but then it finally hit me..”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:17 PM
21

Yes, of course men should be the only ones allowed to run entire countries, governments, multi-billion dollar companies, etc. but if you say exactly what you want the 1st time, it’s your fault they don’t listen because men are stupid, biological cavemen who don’t know how to operate a washing machine. Duh! Get it together, women!/s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 04:56 PM
18

This is so accurate it makes my eyes hurt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 09:53 PM
184

It’s even more funny when you think of it like: Lilith was like ‘I’m not obeying Adam’, so God kicked her out and made Eve. Then Eve was like ‘uhhhhh, I’m gonna do what I want lol’. Men are jealous. Women have minds of their own, we follow our heart, we prioritize ourselves while having the capacity to be empathetic. We handle horrific things like periods, pregnancy, MEN, like BOSSES. Women are powerful and won’t give in to blind obedience, even if it’s only in our hearts. They want to exert the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:48 AM
7

Only you know what will work or what won’t, but some tips I have: -stop responding and reacting to their BS. Don’t engage with it. If they start talking shit at the dinner table, act like you’re eating dinner with a charming celebrity no one else can see or hear. Namely: ignore them and have a fantastic time doing it. Mindfully enjoy your food, have good conversation with people who are capable, etc. Instead of yelling at them for leaving laundry on the floor, leave it silently without argument …
/r/askFDS21/04/21 12:06 AM
7

“So I’m planning on moving to Mars soon. But the dating pool is so shallow! No one wants to move to Mars anymore! It was all trendy I guess when Elon Musk did it, but since I’m just a regular dude, manic pixie girls don’t like that. I mean, I know that there are still several, several very niche groups of people who like exactly the same thing I do, and are indeed planning on moving to Mars.. but I don’t want them! I want people who don’t want to live on Mars to meet me and then change their ent…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 07:46 PM
5

Wait, what???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 07:43 PM
29

“But I can’t do anything.” “What am I supposed to do?” ‘Men’ when directly asked how they contribute to dismantling the patriarchal structure that harms them as well, since they’re such MRA.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 03:25 AM
21

They don’t see this as an issue, though. These are all compliments for how much they really want to fuck us. As if sex is the only thing that matters in the world. As if we should simply expect violence because it’s how they show us they care. When a boy pulls your pigtails, it means he likes you. When he snaps your bra strap, or crushes you/your hand in a hug/handshake, or gives you an Indian burn, or when he superglues his finger to your arm, waits for it to dry, then rips it off, it means he’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:42 PM
10

..and what about her orgasms? Is she never supposed to enjoy sex again? She’s doing what he wants.. what about what she wants? Yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:09 AM
6

I was in a similar situation. After being in an abusive relationship for so long, a new guy being emotionally unavailable and pretending to be into me for sex triggered the absolute hell out me. I got so angry and went off on him like he was the abusive ex. I felt horrible. Yeah, the new guy was a shit, but he didn’t deserve all of the things I said to him. Any of them really. All he deserved was to be blocked. So I left him alone until he was able to accept my apology. At the time I still thoug…
/r/askFDS09/04/21 03:26 PM
41

Men feel entitled to women. They feel entitled to their bodies, their affection, their support and this is all wrapped up nicely in trying to force you to hug them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:08 PM
8

A grown man not knowing how to make a doctors appointment for himself is a red flag lmao the STD panel itself is now besides the point
/r/askFDS09/04/21 01:05 PM
6

Their opinions don’t matter. Not to you or your life. You know now, without a doubt, that they don’t and won’t believe what you’re saying. Accept that idea. They are grown women who can make their own choices, let them fall and pick themselves back up. It sounds like they engage in a lot of the same behavior as the men you’re trying to tell them about. If they don’t want to change their own behavior they won’t be able to understand that in others either.
/r/askFDS08/04/21 06:14 AM
8

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is let someone go. It may also be the most painful. You’re allowed to prioritize yourself.
/r/askFDS06/04/21 07:16 AM
62

Not forgetting the fact that women couldn’t own or inherit property, so men would swoop in, usually some uncle you’ve known your whole life (shudder), and take your property. Ya know. As a kindness. Gold-digger my ass. Just another way to shame women for needing men to survive men lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:03 AM
9

Well first you’ve got to let yourself feel the emotions lol knowing intellectually that you’re angry and feeling + releasing the anger are two totally different things. Journal, dance, meditate, throw plates at trees, scream into a pillow, idk. Then you’ve got to let yourself grieve the relationship and grieve everything you lost in it. Next would be forgiving yourself for allowing yourself to be disrespected. Only then will you be in a place to build yourself back up by re-reading the handbook,…
/r/askFDS02/04/21 06:28 AM
3

This isn’t shallow or any other negative connotation word. You simply aren’t compatible. You like the city, he wants to move back to his hometown. That would be enough.
/r/askFDS01/04/21 11:03 PM
4

They’re psychotic. I don’t know how I’m still surprised by their utter delusion every time, but here we are. You, a grown ass man, are jealous of a CAT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:59 AM
57

Honestly? I thought I had an issue with sexual behavior in my past relationships.. that’s on another level. God, that was just gross to read. I’m so sorry he was doing that to you, you didn’t give consent and, in fact, took consent away?? What the fuck?? Gross. Gross. Gross. Crime. I really want to call this a crime. Sexual assault in a relationship is still sexual assault. It was like you weren’t a person, but a living embodiment of his porn fantasies. GROSS!
/r/askFDS30/03/21 10:46 PM
7

Just say you hate women and keep it moving bruh
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 04:50 PM
65

Back off or leave them be; if they ask why, you can say that you like someone with initiative so you aren’t compatible. Or that in your experience, when a guy doesn’t initiate it means they aren’t into you. This might be helpful for the next girl, but should be the end of the road for you unless you feel like being disappointed again because he can’t change his stripes, which I feel will be the case.
/r/askFDS29/03/21 12:06 PM
2

That’s fine that YOU think that way. You can’t and shouldn’t speak for the men who clearly don’t see women has human beings. We’re out here being murdered.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 12:33 AM
148

Each woman usually only has an individual baseline for abusive relationships. Women don’t share this type of information with each other, we don’t warn each other. So when young women get into relationships they think, ‘oh relationships aren’t perfect, we all make mistakes, people can change’, yadda yadda, not realizing that they’re falling prey to a systematic abusive routine that almost every young woman gets baptized in with fire. Not realizing that their Mother, Grandmother, cousin and best …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 06:54 PM
14

People who come to this sub have a real big issue with discernment. They think that because we have “rules” that we’re man hating, gold digging, hypocritical prudes. When the handbook is there as a guide. How in the hell would the handbook work, to the T, for every woman on the planet? Read it all the way through and take what works for you. It’s not that difficult. Discernment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 03:20 AM
47

PickMe’s exist because disrespecting ourselves seemed to be the direct path to getting picked. When you grow up in the patriarchy, respecting yourself = growing old alone, spinster, cat lady, etc. The reason why it’s not common sense is because women grow up in a different society than boys. Rather, the same society, flanking everybody from different sides lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 03:23 AM
24

You don’t need to be the bigger person towards your abusers This hit me hard and shook me to my core. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 03:19 AM
36

It’s not that any of these HVM qualities are hard to find or rare. It’s that none of these men are able to embody them without having some GLARING, and usually dangerous, drawbacks in some other way. You can find a rich, generous man. He is abusive. You can find a kind, sweet man. He is controlling. You can find an independent guy who gives you space. He’s a cheater. This isn’t to say it’s not the same for women. However, it’s usually not life threatening or systematically oppressive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:06 AM
3

That edit killed me bruh wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:02 AM
3

This was an assault. It doesn’t have to be violent rape at the hands of a stranger in a dark alley in the bad part of town to be disgusting and a violation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 03:42 AM
39

what do they even hope to achieve Shutting us up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:27 AM
8

You’re right on track with it. We all, in one way or another, had to go through this same train of thought to mold FDS to our personal values and standards. That’s a part of the handbook as well, coming up with your standards. Everything you’ve asked about is in there and will be answered. Maybe you haven’t gotten there yet, and that’s fine. You will. Keep reading. Be curious. Engage in the main sub. Absorb the content. Examine your own beliefs and thoughts that come up.
/r/askFDS05/03/21 03:40 AM
62

Honestly, this guy is not a HVM simply from your description of him. You can’t change a L or NVM into a HVM by “cOmMuniCAtInG” your standards - that only works on people who are already HV. I’m not a “dump him, sis” kinda person, but in this case, I’d say that’s best case scenario for you. The real issue here is you listening to your friends and random dudes about dating in a society that actively perpetuates the entire reason FDS exists in the first place, plus perhaps you haven’t gotten throug…
/r/askFDS04/03/21 02:43 PM
4

..yup.
/r/askFDS04/03/21 03:01 AM
8

So.. I’m guessing it didn’t bring you peace Edit: It’s alright, we all fall back into old habits and temptations. We’ve all been there at one point, or another, or 20 points, maybe 100 points.. lol Keep moving forward. One step back doesn’t erase all the steps you’ve already taken. Now that you’ve told him how you feel, let that be the end of it. Your closure (which doesn’t actually exist, but that’s beside the point). Block him, let yourself grieve, please. Grieve the relationship, who you were…
/r/askFDS04/03/21 01:45 AM
10

Even though you feel full of doubt and don’t know whether you can trust your intuition yet.. do you feel at peace? Regardless of the anxiety, the fears.. do you have peace at your core? If you can’t tell, think about him reaching back out to you, or you calling him to get back together.. would you feel at peace with that? Do you feel a sense of relief?
/r/askFDS03/03/21 11:05 PM
12

Nah, Gen X has its own issues. We (millennials/Gen Z) ignore them because they are our parents who like to act “woke” but will mostly side with the Boomers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:59 PM
17

Another case of projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:53 PM
1

👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:50 PM
9

Was he, by chance, a 4th grader when he made you this, or..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 10:49 AM
2

ooof that hurt to read
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 03:24 AM
22

I’ve gotten messages on OLD, the very first message, saying stuff like “you’re beautiful, I deserve you ;)” Legit. I’ve got screenshots lmao They feel like, no matter how heinous or dangerous or ugly or neglected or mentally ill or toxic they are - they all deserve women. Blame society. But also, I feel you! I’m watching Temptation Island and most of the dudes are.. a train wreck to watch. I cringe almost constantly. It’s almost turning me off of the more basic reality dating shows, even Love Is…
/r/askFDS26/02/21 09:16 PM
6

It’s cute! But dangerous. And if this was a first date, unnecessarily dangerous. There shouldn’t have even been a whiff of you going back to his place. Maybe for a date a few weeks into knowing each other. But still. Dangerous. And highkey against what the handbook says. I try not to be this person, but have you actually read the handbook? I did this type of date quite a lot back in the day, and it for sure got me into some.. situations that I didn’t need to be in. I did it because I mistakenly …
/r/askFDS25/02/21 08:07 PM
62

He’s a faker, plain and simple. He’s like the men who get in relationships with women they don’t actually like just to bide their time until what they actually want shows up. Except his modus operandi seems to be showing off what a great partner he is so when he devalues them, everyone automatically takes his side. You have bought into this manipulation. I bet you, if you asked the girls, they would tell you some little things they noticed about him that you didn’t or wouldn’t considering you di…
/r/askFDS25/02/21 06:10 PM
28

I’m not sure it “means” anything. At this point it’s a matter of your own preferences and whether or not he’s able to gain stamina over time. Honestly, do you want to date someone who would finish quickly? That’s not so bad as what he does in response. Does he prioritize your orgasm because he knows he’ll finish quickly? Does he still keep going so you can finish if he finishes first? That’s the real question.
/r/askFDS24/02/21 10:04 PM
3

lmao oh boy, dating apps are.. unlikely to find you a suitable partner. Think of it this way: for everyone of us FDS women who have to wade through this dating app riffraff, there’s a HVM who is turned off by the same experience. Most HVM don’t frequent dating apps. Or they’re very specific about what they’re looking for. Or they’re not sure at all and will quickly be leaving the app entirely lmao Those apps aren’t even designed to get you good matches, they’re designed to get more people swipin…
/r/askFDS24/02/21 06:23 PM
11

A guy who wants to keep you will actively make sure you’re committed to him. He wouldn’t be able to leave without knowing for sure that you would be waiting or ready to come with him. That’s why all of those couples got married right before they were shipped off to war.
/r/askFDS23/02/21 01:06 AM
13

There are 2 major things I personally think need to happen. First.. Shift from thinking about “Us” to thinking about You. He’s shown you that he isn’t thinking about the “Us”: he’s doing what’s best for him, he’s leaving your feelings up in the air knowing you would like an answer. It’s time you do the same. Focus on what will make You happy, forget living for a We. Get back to your hobbies, go for a career you want, connect back with your friends, visit your family, travel solo, etc. start dati…
/r/askFDS23/02/21 01:02 AM
61

It sounds like you’re already back on track and doing what you need to do for yourself. FDS says that once you let your boundaries be broken or standards lowered, then there is no going back with that man. If I’m correct, that’s what you’re referring to? Well.. it says that it’s rare for the relationship to be able to bounce back, thus not worth it. But if you’re one of the rare ones, congratulations are in order! However, from now on you’ve got to be consistent and solid. One way that might hel…
/r/askFDS22/02/21 01:21 AM
14

Exactly. If he was genuinely interested in you he would’ve tried to get with you already. Has he even tried to convince you of why he never reached out before this? Lazy.
/r/askFDS19/02/21 10:45 PM
22

No. He’s from out of state and it’s very convenient how all of a sudden he’s interested in you when he’s back visiting family. It’s not a coincidence - it’s easy. Also, he can’t borrow his parents car or meet you wherever you’re going? Not very industrious. Pass.
/r/askFDS19/02/21 10:18 PM
121

You’re most likely attracted to men who don’t want you because you grew up with an emotionally unavailable father, whether or not he was physically available, and are now trying to prove yourself lovable by changing a man who doesn’t want you into someone who “needs” you. I put quotations because they won’t actually “need” you, you’re making yourself “valuable” by giving all of yourself to someone who doesn’t want you.
/r/askFDS19/02/21 09:52 PM
16

But.. the actors are also consenting adults???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 07:50 PM
17

Honestly, same. I used to be a FLIRT. Like even with my friends something in innuendo would come out, just for the fun of it. (Say you’re a Libra without saying you’re a Libra, amiright) But now.. everything is so serious and I look at really cute guys in public that I would’ve been flustered over and I feel.. nothing lol I keep expecting to feel nervous or adjust my hair or whatever and I feel apathy and even sometimes disgust at their blatant thirst for female attention.
/r/askFDS18/02/21 08:29 PM
17

People often believe that they’ll never have it as good as they had with some old toxic thing that was almost perfect. I choose to believe that if I can have something almost perfect, then that means I’m close to having everything I want. Don’t buy into the idea that you’ll never find another like him - believe that you’ll find everything you loved about him and now you have the knowledge to know exactly what you want, so you’ll get everything and more.
/r/askFDS13/02/21 07:37 AM
16

What you’ve said definitely makes sense. If you want I could pinpoint exactly where it’s going wrong? You’ve said that you have attracted people in the past who fake emotional ties with you in order to get to sex. Been there. The pattern I’ve seen based on this guy was that you seem to be getting emotionally attached to people either way too soon, or in spite of red flags you miss/ignore in the beginning. My advice? Figure out why you feel the need to settle for any person that comes along who s…
/r/askFDS11/02/21 07:52 PM
125

Because, and I will say this over and over again if it have to, it’s never been about us. People who constantly change the goalposts aren’t trying to learn and grow - they’re trying to control you while you run around frantically trying to fix something you didn’t break in the first place. Stop running.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 06:33 AM
4

Other people have said very helpful things already. My advice would be to focus on why you feel you need this relationship. Keep asking yourself why you believe this relationship is worth fighting for. Get down to the bottom of it.
/r/askFDS09/02/21 04:23 PM
59

He should actually be in prison. At the very least that’s attempted murder and accessory to a rape. At the fucking least. I will never understand how a human has the capabilities to commit literal fucking war crimes to their own “loved ones” and continue acting like a human being. You weren’t dumb. We didn’t know what we didn’t know. Even murder looks like love when that’s all you’ve grown up with. But now we have the chance to be happy and feel whole and learn and grow - something they will nev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 08:19 PM
356

That should be illegal. Coerced suicide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 06:10 PM
43

I definitely wouldn’t ask them that lol they would straight up lie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 06:09 PM
105

That.. is horrific. I am so sorry that creature allowed that bottom feeder into your home. Disgusting and unacceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 06:04 PM
30

you can edit your own comments :) idk if you know that or not
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 05:53 PM
3

No lmao there’s a scale. I’ve had friends who are inconsiderate/selfish, but not toxic - just unaware. I’ve had toxic friends who were bordering on selfishness, but were over qualified. I’ve had abusive friends who I thought were simply toxic but, nope, abusive! It’s a scale lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 12:26 AM
13

Madonna (wife) gets missionary where he can’t look her in the eyes, Whore (random women) gets chopped into pieces, raped and eaten so..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 01:18 PM
17

It’s a very fine line these days between abusive, toxic and inconsiderate/selfish. Like a scale.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 01:16 PM
3

lmao I can’t believe he was actually trying to trauma bond with you so aggressively.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 01:08 PM
51

😳 ummm, thanks.. I’ll keep that in mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 07:54 AM
7

Honestly? Pity her. She needs it lmao send her good vibes, send her love, send her what you needed. Because he damn sure isn’t giving it to her. No one, and I mean NO ONE, can go from being abusive/toxic in one relationship to absolutely loving and caring in the next, not unless they got 5-10 years worth of INTENSIVE therapy. And I mean, radically intensive lmao or they’re faking.
/r/askFDS05/02/21 07:49 AM
5

Best advice you’ll get ^
/r/askFDS05/02/21 06:21 AM
284

No need to resort to playing games. Don’t say your standards first, let them do most of the talking, they’ll let you know their intentions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 10:06 PM
32

You can hire property managers. I implore you to truly examine all of the options and take some risks for yourself and your future instead of sacrificing everything for a man who is wishy washy with your heart.
/r/askFDS03/02/21 07:36 PM
67

Why would you need to flat-out give up your piece of property? Why can’t you flip it and/or make it an AirBnB or rent it out to someone? That way you’re making a passive income and have your own wealth but can continue moving forward in your relationship (which I personally think you should highly consider not doing).
/r/askFDS03/02/21 06:28 PM
2

I am right there with you and have been since I found FDS. It was almost impossible to reconcile my spirituality (every human being is deserving of love and happiness) with the reality of living in the 3D (racism, sexism, etc.). But I’ve since realized that we are here to live a human experience - that’s the whole point. Also, read my last post here in FDS. It might help a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 08:34 AM
37

Yes, love, you will. And you are already a HVW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 08:24 AM
6

I- lord, we come today to ask you to take our burdens, our fears, our doubts, our absolute fucking DISGUST-
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 07:54 AM
20

I completely understand where you’re coming from. I was kicked out of my family home when I was a teenager because I was dating my boyfriend. I had to sleep on another family members couch for about a year, trying to work and/or go to school, essentially becoming an adult for the first time. My boyfriend at the time was the only thing I had left of my old life. I leaned on him for support and in response he abused me in more ways than one. He abused my emotional vulnerability, he abused my lonel…
/r/askFDS03/02/21 07:31 AM
21

If you try to remember all of that when you unexpectedly see him, I imagine freezing will be more likely what happens haha Treat him the way you would treat a neighbor you sometimes see outside who lets their dog shit in your yard. You don’t know them, but there’s a sense of negative familiarity. If you saw that neighbor in the grocery store, you wouldn’t want to run and hide but you also wouldn’t want to chat with them. Most likely you’d offer a curt head nod or a hand wave or simply ignore the…
/r/askFDS03/02/21 05:51 AM
9

hahah it was hard for me to accept and I was writing it! I definitely did some edits trying to reframe in my own mind. Honestly, it’s been a long time coming that I’ve been wrestling with this concept. I didn’t realize at first that this is what I was doing, but I started noticing little ways I was judging myself and others for things I perceived that only “bad people” do. It was a whole struggle bus trying to wrap my mind around it. “If I’m a good person, then why is everyone around me such a b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:25 AM
103

It’s called manipulation. He used your family to force you into staying and letting him disrespect you again. Same with the couples counseling, the tears. It’s manipulation. If he truly cared about you and the relationship he would accept your decision. He would give you space. He wouldn’t tattle to your family and call you skeptical. Here’s how to tell you made the right decision: tell him that you’ve found a good therapist and have set up an appointment for the next week. Tell him that if he’s…
/r/askFDS03/02/21 04:11 AM
5

Instead of thinking of it as a teaching moment where you give “instructions”, think of it as sexy talk so you can both have a good time.
/r/askFDS03/02/21 02:44 AM
14

He said “lol” when you told him to leave you alone because he knows that the simple act of you replying in the first place and continuing to engage means that you’re not over him.
/r/askFDS03/02/21 02:40 AM
10

He has your attention still. That’s what he’s doing. He’s going to milk it for everything it’s worth unless you completely block him.
/r/askFDS03/02/21 12:52 AM
88

A lot of men actually believe that women can’t enjoy sex. Isn’t that sick? They think that the women they are using as a masturbatory aid don’t like it, and they’re doing it anyways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 03:20 AM
22

ooh yeah, I was 4 when I was introduced to porn by kids several years older than me. It culminated in me showing porn to a friend during HS Spanish class and laughing. I feel you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 03:18 AM
2

lol that’s one of the most pervasive, sick, ideas we have as a modern people: that human issues are political issues. Trump didn’t create any of this. He shown a light on it for people to wake tf up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 05:36 PM
26

He’s leading you on in the biggest scam known to womankind: the forever girlfriend. He will drag this out as far as he possibly can until you either stop asking or you force him to decide - either way isn’t good for either of you.
/r/askFDS01/02/21 12:05 AM
22

In the end, we all deserve someone who puts the same effort into us that we do into them. Women need to put effort into vetting for that.
/r/askFDS31/01/21 08:27 AM
67

If I’m correct, the main answer to your question is this: most men aren’t HVM. Most men are in fact little boys with 0 emotional intelligence or concept of empathy, integrity or self-introspection. Their grandfathers never learned how, so they never learned how. Up until the last century, men were mostly running the world completely unchallenged by women. Men picked whichever victim sorry, 13-year old girl SORRY, woman they decided they wanted, married her and forced her to do whatever he wanted…
/r/askFDS31/01/21 07:38 AM
110

Not me getting myself off right next to them as they’re trying to fall asleep lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 03:22 AM
6

..that’s a disappointing response. Do whatever you like, bro. Obviously the words I say fall on deaf ears blind eyes.
/r/askFDS30/01/21 02:20 PM
19

oh yikes, there’s so much here to unpack sis! First off, at 26, we’re still children basically! Not to say that we aren’t adults but there is so much life ahead of us and holding ourselves to the standard of 100 years ago is done. No more feeling unaccomplished because we’re “old maids” or “spinsters”. That was always a tool of the patriarchy to keep us controlled and force us into marrying whatever crusty, dusty man was available, or more likely, which play uncle was eyeing us since 13 (* s h u…
/r/askFDS30/01/21 04:20 AM
4

You’re allowed to be specific about what you want out of life - it’s your life. Other people will/can tell you you’re being picky, but that’s because they wouldn’t want more for themselves. Others can say you aren’t being realistic while plenty of successful people will tell you to shoot for the sun and you’ll end up among the stars.
/r/askFDS27/01/21 07:40 PM
15

I think the confusion comes because you spent almost 3/4 of the paragraph talking about him lmao but I get where you’re coming from. Instead of only having a dealbreakers list, write up a perfect man list. You may find that you want someone who is adventurous and he enjoys staying at home 97% of the time. It’s not a dealbreaker, but it wouldn’t make you happy.
/r/askFDS26/01/21 10:22 PM
21

It’s the hardest to let go of people who treated us really well, even if there were incompatibilities, or red flags. You start thinking about how if you had done this or that or had this conversation or made that clear or.. No. Nothing you could’ve done or said would change the outcome, when people or things leave our lives they weren’t meant to be in it. So yes, it’s normal, just don’t let it fester and consume you. Interrupt the regret by understanding and accepting why you broke up, and telli…
/r/askFDS25/01/21 06:21 AM
95

Because it’s never been about biology or society or modesty or being mainstream or whatever goal post they make women run around to. We could say many, many logical things in response to the patriarchy, but none of them address the actual issue: it’s not us, it’s never been about us. It’s about men and their small peepees and big delusions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:55 AM
9

Since you know that he’s not going to change, perhaps it’s time to shift back into self-love mode? Figure out what you can do for yourself instead of how to fix him or the relationship? Create a space for yourself somewhere in the house, when he’s playing video games figure out what hobbies you want to get back to or if you have any skills that you could use as a way to make money online, like on Etsy or IG or YouTube, etc.. Remember the you you were before or figure out if you’re a new you. Foc…
/r/askFDS17/01/21 10:27 PM
17

It’s not a “you” problem, but when someone is obviously not doing something to be mean or malicious, it makes it 100x harder to confront that behavior because we tend to only feel comfortable confronting people who are being obviously out of line. This is a simple boundary exercise. Next time he goes to grab your hands (if you want to maintain the relationship) let him, but when he’s done admiring them, pull away and say “hey, thanks for the compliments :) I always look forward to them when I ge…
/r/askFDS15/01/21 11:51 PM
3

I’m thinking more quarantine dates. It’s not a normal time where I would agree with you. Beach stroll means going to Venice beach and doing all the activities, or creating a bonfire date, etc. btw not just walking on any random beach sitting in the sand
/r/askFDS15/01/21 11:02 PM
1

Hell yeah! There are hundreds of thousands of other beautiful men out there - there’s only one of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 11:01 PM
56

When you start typing out that paragraph, interrupt yourself. Copy it, paste it into your notes/document app, and continue it there. When it’s all done, WALK AWAY. Act like you sent it to him and you’re waiting for him to read it all and thoughtfully reply. When you start getting that feeling like “he should’ve texted me back by now”, go back and re-read your note. Ask yourself if anything you wrote is something you’ve already told him before. Ask yourself what he would say if he got this. Reali…
/r/askFDS15/01/21 01:56 AM
4

Whatever HV activities you’ve been wanting to do or would do on your own: cooking class, paint and sip, amusement park, beautiful (public) hike, picnic in the park, beach stroll, shopping, fruit picking, hell audit a college class together lmao
/r/askFDS15/01/21 01:13 AM
2

This needs to be pinned or something lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:00 AM
3

Something I’ve learned recently is: even if something is difficult and you have no idea if it’s going to work out.. if you feel at peace inside, you did the best thing for yourself. If you still feel frustrated, you’re swimming against your own current.
/r/askFDS13/01/21 02:57 AM
12

“I only attract what is attracted to me” would be much better, as our brains skip over negatives, otherwise yes! This!
/r/askFDS12/01/21 11:06 PM
2

and that’s the tea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 08:55 PM
5

Are you changing because you feel like you should or have to in order to be what’s considered successful or happy? Or are you changing because you love yourself enough to do what’s best for you, regardless of what society, friends, guys, co-workers or family tell you?
/r/askFDS12/01/21 09:47 AM
12

I actually think the takeaway here is don’t tell men what your standards are, because they will literally tell you anything to possess you, in whatever way they desire. Know your standards and when they don’t live up to them, express your displeasure, or don’t, then leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 09:41 AM
7

This is normal. What it sounds like is coming out to play is a scarcity mindset - that you will never find another honest, respectful person.
/r/askFDS11/01/21 08:00 PM
26

“ammunition to unload” CALL THE FBI.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:17 PM
14

I’m angry that you’re in such an abusive, fucked up family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:04 PM
7

If she can block people, I bet she feels pretty damn empowered, actually. He lost out on both access to her as a person, the privilege of going on a date with her, AND ever seeing her naked - knowing he fucked it all on his own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 03:43 PM
7

Hell yeah!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 02:13 AM
10

Understand that you made the best decisions you could for yourself at the time. The knowledge you had, the perspective, the situation you were in - where were you supposed to learn how to cope with it in healthy way? Were you supposed to conjur that knowledge from thin air? We aren’t taught to value ourselves. You didn’t know what you didn’t know. But now that you do, it’s time to Trust, Value and Respect yourself in everything you say and do.
/r/askFDS10/01/21 12:40 AM
40

I’m always amazed at how these trash cans tells on themselves and we just.. don’t listen. •She’s had this hobby since BEFORE they were dating •He “doesn’t understand” so.. that gives him authority over her?? •They have SEPARATE bathrooms! She’s not even taking up HIS space! •She is literally in school to be a fucking dermatologist •He describes her skin as lovely, pillow soft, not a single scar, she looks airbrushed.. but doesn’t see a fucking correlation?! •SHE PAYS FOR EVERYTHING
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:25 AM
9

Oh I see! I missed that lol that’s why I was so confused. I was like “y’all are saying the same thing??”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 10:12 PM
27

Being a generally good person doesn’t give someone an excuse to take advantage of others. Being mentally ill doesn’t give someone an excuse to take advantage of others.
/r/askFDS09/01/21 09:50 PM
35

Why are you doing wife and mother things for this person who already has one of those, but hasn’t committed to you for the other?
/r/askFDS09/01/21 09:48 PM
9

You said I’d need a ring and date.. that’s what she’s done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 09:44 PM
9

But they did move in together, after they got engaged..?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:40 PM
152

“I’m worried my brother might be fantasizing about raping me and my other brother!” “But if you didn’t look you wouldn’t know, doesn’t that make the situation better?!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:31 PM
9

Imagine stepping into human pee on a daily basis and being called crazy because you don’t like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:25 PM
13

ugh sorry, I reflexively downvoted because what that teacher said absolutely disgusted me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:18 PM
8

lmao the irony is that he describes the men as being the actual law-breakers - disturbing the woman’s peace lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:12 PM
42

A real girlfriend will give birth to her boyfriend, feed him like a baby parrot, wipe his ass in the shower, set all of his doctors appointments for him, send him proudly off to kindergarten.. only for him to come back with some other bitch lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:10 PM
9

He’s trying to lure you back in by forcing you to feel guilty and like you need to repent or he’ll never talk to you again - he said he was going to bring your stuff back and didn’t.
/r/askFDS08/01/21 06:59 PM
12

I understand the habit for angry people but I’m not sure exactly what you mean by remove yourself from men.. Anger is something you’re going to have to come to terms with within yourself before even dealing with other people. Explore your relationship with anger, where it stemmed from and why you’ve held onto it. Release it. Then you can work on other people. It essentially boils down to listening to your primal feelings (your own anger is telling you something, but it can often be accompanied b…
/r/askFDS07/01/21 07:22 PM
14

Set a boundary lol you took the action but if you want other people to know why and give them the chance to respond accordingly you’ve gotta tell them lmao Otherwise, if he’s not worth that effort why even be talking to him in the first place? Dating is fun not an obligation.
/r/askFDS07/01/21 07:18 PM
18

Yes, they do it on purpose. They do it because they know that eventually you’ll get fed up with their half-assed job/dirty mess and do it yourself. Problem solved! For them. The only way to radically change the situation would be for you and your Mom to explicitly decide to clean NOTHING you didn’t dirty yourself. You used a bowl? Wash it. There’s leftovers on the stove from last night? Leave it. Let it mold, let it stink, let flies pile up, whatever it may be. You and Mom take a staycation, or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 07:04 PM
13

I think you guys are confusing the article recognizing the reality that most people/guys have seen porn with endorsing porn usage..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 10:00 AM
35

And that’s just the surface stuff. She has to psychologically/mentally/emotionally/physically prepare for whether or not this “man” is going to respect her, assault her, degrade her, etc. etc. etc. which happens all the time but boys like to act doesn’t. For instance the woman who wasn’t even on a date with a dude, she was having a coffee all alone and some criminal walks up demanding her time/attention. When she says no, he throws his boiling hot coffee in her face and leaves her scarred. I hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 09:52 AM
4

You say scarcity but I saw “deserve”. Maybe work on affirming to yourself that you are worthy of receiving, worthy of love, worthy of joy, that you are inherently worthy simply by existing and that you value yourself.
/r/askFDS26/12/20 09:56 AM
15

I plan on having one. Building generational wealth only works if it stays in my family.
/r/askFDS17/12/20 12:05 PM
40

Those types of guys might be attracted to you because you are powerful yet attainable. I can see from the way you wrote this that you probably have no hard time meeting new people, carrying along a good conversation, can get along well with pretty much anyone? Yeah - if any of that’s true of you, any guy would be attracted to you. Perhaps it’s that your attention is not where it needs to be? Do you ever find yourself in conversation with the nerdy guy instead of with the handsome guy you want to…
/r/askFDS17/12/20 11:57 AM
20

ISN’T THAT CONVENIENT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:19 AM
13

Has happened to me before where I meet guys and completely unprovoked they tell me about the women who falsely accused them of rape and then PAUSE for effect to gauge my reaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:15 AM
4

Hey, never thought of it this way. This is very true. I’m proud of us!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 05:23 AM
3

Lol it’s been recommended already that we do that. Don’t let them ask you. They’ll try to mold themselves to fit. You ask first, so you can gauge if you’re the right fit for each other, and if he asks you, you say something like “I know it when I see it.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 10:47 PM
10

Lol it’s been recommended already that we do that. Don’t let them ask you. They’ll try to mold themselves to fit. You ask first, so you can gauge if you’re the right fit for each other, and if he asks you, you say something like “I know it when I see it.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 10:47 PM
14

That’s the gaslighting part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 03:03 AM
24

“Which I like.” Yeah. Who are you trying to convince, Todd?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 01:54 AM
48

I personally wouldn’t go with that one because possibly eating shit during a meal won’t murder, rape, kidnap, abuse or drive you crazy then call you crazy lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 01:49 AM
3

His reaction tells you everything you need to know. Mourn the lost time and future fantasies you created, then stick to proud of yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:45 AM
4

Lmao my version of this was when my ex sent me John Mayer’s “I Don’t Trust Myself”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:23 AM
29

Nah, they leave as soon as it’s inconvenient for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:40 AM
3

Are you dating these guy friends? Because I’ve dated guys who on the outside seem to have it all together, are good friends, good at their jobs, but it’s all stacked on a foundation of insecurity, lies, cheating, manipulation, triangulation, gaslighting, etc.
/r/askFDS01/09/20 09:49 PM
70

It’s not just males under 25. This is for women under 25.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 10:37 PM
28

“Someone’s son” Is she not someone’s daughter? Fuck outta here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 10:35 PM
1

NV lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 11:13 PM
2

Lmao I absolutely love it when people who have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about, open their mouths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 10:37 PM
13

What’s wild about it is if they actually took care of their mouths, there would be “less” of a need to go to the dentist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 02:53 PM
73

Fucking SAME.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 02:49 PM
3

I love everything about this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 02:45 PM
6

I.. why did I read his texts in my ex’s voice? It was almost exactly what I imagined my ex was texting to his side pickme’s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:16 AM
2

Same. Most of it just made absolutely no sense, in terms of payoff. Some of them, while still stupid af, I could understand why they did it. But damn, if any of that went wrong or worse.. what’s the point? How would they feel knowing someone had to go tell their parents that their child died because they wanted to slam into a wall in a trash can slingshot? Like??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:51 AM
5

Honestly.. most of that sub is stupid as fuck and gave me hardcore anxiety. But.. some of it looks fun as shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:19 AM
35

Thank you for taking the time to type this out. It saved me from having to stress myself out trying to explain this concept to someone, who in my experience, is committed to not understanding it. I appreciate ya.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 02:30 AM
1

I’m pretty sure it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 04:22 PM
3

I only pointed it out because it was seen as a HV trait for Marco, when it wasn’t him that did it lol I’m not trying to movie review your assessment haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 03:12 PM
4

Yeah that would be nice if he wasn’t doing that to his first girlfriend too and only realized he’s a abuser because his sister was being abused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:57 PM
14

Lmao the oldest trick in the horny fuckboys handbook. Never respond to someone who texts you any variation of “Hey” anytime after 10pm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:07 AM
8

I love how they’re both acting like neither of them were responsible for anything that happened. Like infidelity, murder and arson were separate entities - like a gang who attacked their lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:01 AM
16

I.. I am utterly flabbergasted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 06:16 AM
9

I overall agree with and appreciate your assessment! There’s always more to learn in any movie centered around relationships. I do want to say though that I noticed some mistakes on plot points/details. For instance, Marco isn’t the one who takes the high road and doesn’t fight Noah. Marco started the altercation and Noah took the high road. Stuff like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:45 AM
15

I love how one guy started out SO WELL, then devolved into “but you browse FDS and they’re misandrist, so..”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:20 AM
4

Because if it’s in your bio, what you’re looking for, it means that 1) they didn’t read your bio and/or 2) he’s trying to get you to soften your answer to please him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:10 PM
2

There are millions of educated, ambitious people. Being athletic and having a talent is something anyone (able-bodied) can do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:08 AM
20

In my opinion, 70-90% of men are assholes. The number is so high and varied for a lot of reasons: There are different kinds of assholes, each with their own set of pitfalls, rules and dangers. There are the narcissists, the narcissistic tendencies, the psycho/sociopaths or psycho/sociopath copycats, the incels, the fuckboys, and then the run of the mill liars, cheaters, rapists, assaulters, murderers, mentally ill and addicted. Women, however, are split into the categories (according to society/…
/r/askFDS16/08/20 01:10 AM
2

Again, I’m not saying men aren’t passive aggressive. I’m not talking about acknowledging it or “recognizing” it. I’m saying does society call men out on it. In my experience, no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:08 PM
67

It sounds like he love-bombed you into staying with him so that later when he inevitably showed his real face (snappy, distant, emotionally unavailable, doesn’t know what he wants) you would stick around longing for the time that used to be, hoping that version of him would come back any minute now, if only you could do or say or be the right thing for him. And in the end he got exactly what he wanted, you let down your guard when you finally believed the love-bombing was sincere. He won’t be pe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 05:24 AM
3

Hell yes!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 04:59 AM
1

Oh yeah, they broke up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 04:53 AM
8

Would you actively distrust or dislike someone who is interested in you, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 04:05 AM
3

She sounds like she’s possessed by a 23 year old guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:46 AM
160

I have learned to stop reading the replies for tweets like this, because it’s literally just men trying to reverse uno women’s experiences. They don’t make their own tweets about their experiences - no. They go onto women’s and insert their penis’ into the conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:40 AM
3

But people called him passive aggressive? I’m not asking whether men are passive aggressive, I know they are. But that’s not language I’ve heard being used for men unless it’s from an extremely fed up woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:13 AM
3

When is the last time you’ve heard someone describe a man as passive agressive?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 01:27 AM
5

Exactly. We get “upfront interest” from dudes who aren’t even interested!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 09:36 AM
20

I’ll let you know a little secret. That moment when you liked his message and 40 minutes later he replied saying “if you don’t want to talk then say so”? When you replied “what” he got what he wanted. Like you wrote, he doesn’t reply when you call him out. He feels like he won by getting you to respond. Don’t respond when he calls you out for the things he’s doing. HOWEVER, in the bigger picture, this dude is not worth the effort, anxiety and frustration. I guarantee you that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 09:35 AM
1

This.. this.. has to be fake. Please, lord, let this be fake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 09:08 AM
15

Did he actually say dinner or a hike the first time? Because it looks like he fully suggested hiking and then when you responded, he threw out that he also meant dinner lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 09:04 AM
12

They’d fuck a cantaloupe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 09:02 AM
7

So you’re married huh? Guess I can’t let you touch my peepee! No. Never. How mean! So rude! Girls are mean!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 09:01 AM
2

Lmmfao yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 08:30 AM
16

Hot people are sometimes the creepiest and weirdest. Just because some teenage girl was taken in by some sleazeballs’ piercing blue eyes doesn’t mean that’ll be worth beans 3 months down the line when she’s crying all the time and angry all the other times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 08:29 AM
48

Hahahaha I wish I was that.. unaffected. It’s because we’re women. On the internet. That’s enough right there. But on top of that, we’re women, on the internet and only women are allowed. Boys only clubs don’t like it when girls make their own. And then on top of that, we’re helping women reclaim their strength, confidence, standards, boundaries, which means that men are triggered because they don’t want to be better people - they want women to fix them up and take their crap and abuse for free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:41 AM
9

I don’t miss the aftermath. The weekly nightmares where I would wake up sobbing, or angry and sweating. The su!c!de attempts that culminated in waking up in a hospital, then being put into a mental hospital 3 times. Hearing my best friend say that she still sees us getting married one day, when I’ve told her about the sexual abuse and gaslighting. Realizing that I still have some of his clothes, but not wanting to give them up. Then realizing that he has some of my stuff, that I want back. Notic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:45 PM
12

He.. I.. wow.. No one thinks.. I- There’s so much wrong here to unpack I’m just going to leave it at fetishist, delusional incel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:35 PM
6

Oh. Oooh. Oh no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:21 PM
59

Lmao me my whole life. You like my vibe because I be vibin. Leave me be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:06 PM
3

She’s a fucking scientist. What the actual fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:42 PM
20

Does it fucking matter what his reasoning was?? The pizza won’t burn down the fucking house in the 5 minutes it would’ve taken for him to just hold her, or simply ask if she’s okay. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:17 PM
16

This is.. this is almost psychopathic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:04 PM
12

Come on women! Don’t you know that your job with it’s crazy hours, plus the second job you have of tending to an entire house, yourself and a man-child is nothing compared to the men holding it down, then drinking with their co-workers until 3 am, then playing video games until 6 am, then going to work at 8?! Women just need to understand that having adult responsibilities + working crazy hours + taking care of yourself and all the people around you is the easy stuff! Try not taking care of your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:50 AM
5

Lmao it’s funny how putting yourself first is seen as playing games when women do it, but when men do it women are clingy, needy, crazy, hormonal, bitches, sluts, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:46 AM
3

His update makes it sound like she was enjoying friendly chat, he deliberately went out of his way to go talk to her and was jealous when another man was spotted having a conversation with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:40 AM
1

I must have 3 kids then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:29 AM
7

I disagree. It seems like you’re coming at this with a negative association already. When “just work on yourself” and “spend time on things you enjoy” are one in the same. My disagreement is bolstered by the line “loads of “broken” people end up in relationships all the time.” Yeah, you’re right, they do. But what ends up happening in those relationships? One or both end up being toxic and they breakup just to recycle the same toxicity in their 10 next relationships. Just because they have more,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:27 AM
2

There’s been a steady influx of people posting this flaming garbage on dating/relationship boards and it boils my fucking blood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:14 AM
12

Well. Yes. But also very specifically in this situation, HELL YES.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 12:03 AM
306

Dudes on dating r/: “She stopped talking to me after we were clicking so well. It was the best 2 days of my life! OLD is the worst and men are at such a disadvantage. Why can’t women be into me?? I’m so funny and original, I definitely don’t get my talking points off of the internet!” “She’s probably fucking 10 Chads right this minute. Fuck her. Get out there and be the best Chad you can be!” Women on dating r/: “He punched me in the face yesterday because I sneezed too loud. I know he has a hig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 12:45 PM
20

Negative* He thinks his girlfriend is a house slave with easily overstepped boundaries whose job isn’t important because it’s in the house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 10:53 AM
31

I’ve straight up said “No, I have more than enough on my profile.” Then skipped ahead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 10:46 AM
3

You have common sense and care about people not dying? Go fuck yourselves females!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 01:40 AM
3

Lmao it’s like that saying: I could care less. You’re telling on yourself bro lol You care. So with this you’re telling on yourself: it’s on your list to hurt me. Someone who wants to take care of you, that is on their list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:26 PM
18

I’ve said this 100 times, I’ll say this 100 times more: Men, if you want the same “benefits” as women, DO IT YOUR FUCKING SELF. Do they know how much pushback and outright vitriol women have had to contend with for every “benefit” women have now?! Obviously not, since they still think women have more rights even though we’re literally carrying the load of the fucking world. And all their laundry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:31 PM
10

For me it extends past family. I don’t know how many times complete strangers have just.. handed me their children and walked away. I was at a fucking nude hot springs once and some couple shows up with their young kids, they immediately take a liking to me (as kids usually do with me) and the parents just meandered off to go set up camp or hike or what the fuck ever. I have no idea because they were completely out of sight of me, a stranger, at a public nude hot springs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:11 PM
6

Oh hell yeah, that was years ago lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 01:51 PM
10

She’s talking about the people who say, “This guy hasn’t texted me back for 4 days! Should I hold on to the thought that he meant it when he said he was falling for me? He has such HV traits!” Not the people who are dating and say that someone is exhibiting HV traits while getting to know them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 03:14 AM
15

I was with a guy for almost 10 years. He never hid anything, always told me his passwords, I went through his stuff as much as I wanted (not because I didn’t trust him but because I’m a curious cat). It doesn’t matter if they’re “open”, he was still cheating on me. I just think he didn’t particularly care if I found anything. I found stuff all the time lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 03:11 AM
4

will probably*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:58 AM
12

Being FWB is only beneficial to the woman when she’s in charge and when she suggests it. Casual sex is more of a risk to women than to men, in a variety of ways. Read the handbook.
/r/askFDS30/07/20 02:28 PM
3

“Am I the asshole for wanting to be alive?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 09:30 PM
51

This is called boomer humor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 11:16 AM
41

This isn’t even including be hairless, wear makeup, dress well, and sex. Which is by nature penetrative and by culture, at best, a hazard. Worrying about birth control, pregnancy, STDs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 12:55 AM
2

Forgiveness. Forgive her for yourself. Understand that human beings make mistakes and that it has nothing to do with anyone else but themselves and that to hurt someone else and themselves like that, they must really be deeply hurting inside themselves. The forgiveness isn’t for her. It’s for you, so you can release any negative energy still keeping you attached to her and truly feel light enough to know what it is you need to do.
/r/askFDS28/07/20 12:35 PM
3

How beautiful! You deserve them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 12:04 PM
24

Lmao yes, women need to be with assholes because they’re Growth Faeries with no needs of their own who should stick around to build-a-boy then let some other woman capitalize on their work while dealing with the residual trauma all on their own, instead of a man doing the work on himself for himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 02:35 PM
12

🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 04:25 AM
17

“No no no! Instead of having one extreme, unhealthy view of women.. have this other extreme, unhealthy view of women!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:43 PM
9

You want to believe it’s fake, it sounds so fucking nutty, but I bet most of us have seen a version of this sent to us or someone we know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:40 PM
5

Geeeezus. That’s horrible. I can’t imagine what it would be like to give 45 years of your life to a man who could so deeply and frequently disrespect you and your relationship to the core.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:43 AM
3

What in the actual flying fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:42 AM
90

It’s not that bad until you remember the fact that most women have been heavily abused for most of their relationships, that we live in a rape culture, that barely legal/teen is one of the most popular porn categories, that women have been permanently disfigured or murdered for saying “no thank you”, that anything traditionally female oriented is ridiculed, that women still occupy less than 40% of most male dominated fields while systematically making less, while also dealing with harassment in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 10:44 AM
46

They are, women just aren’t socially engineered to see/accept that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 11:33 PM
11

Don’t need to remember the post - I lived it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 11:31 PM
6

Been there, almost that exact situation. Like, I literally never, not once, had a good nights rest staying over at his house between the incessant dick poking, boob grabbing, clothes pulling and manchild sighing. He also sweat a lot and was like a furnace, so when I would move away like you, it was the same bs: I’m hurting his feelings and I’m mean. Meanwhile, I’m actually on the path towards complete mental health decline that puts me in a mental hospital. But.. but.. his dick! And it only got …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 08:50 PM
7

If any guy you know says this in real life, have him make a fake profile as a woman. Swipe right on every guy they see. Then interact with the men as if they were a woman who was interested in dating/a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 09:30 AM
9

Is he.. is he grabbing her boob??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 09:16 AM
42

I can’t stand people who justify being a fucking psychopath because THis iS ThE inTErnEt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 09:16 AM
8

Rape was a thing during the Victorian era.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 09:11 AM
42

I’m so sorry you’ve gone through all of that. I’m very happy you’re out of it now. I relate a lot to the part where you said you didn’t want to give him any affection because it would lead to you having to reject sex. It’s so disturbing to me that I can’t touch a man without there being a thought or worry that I’m “consenting” to something much, much more in their minds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 09:05 AM
5

If you want a specific person, like you said, you’ve gotta put out the energy for it. But it also sounds like at your core you have some scarcity and low value beliefs about yourself and men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:58 AM
2

When I got to “Recently he’s been accusing me..” I tapped out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:15 AM
14

“Most people seem to prefer to be doing something rather than nothing, even if that something is negative.” Describes L/NVM who sit on a woman while waiting for a “better deal” to come along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:14 AM
22

“Wow! You said what you want upfront and he agreed because it works for both you? You gold-digging whore!” Like, what?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 02:22 AM
8

I’ve always wondered how they decide to assign and change them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 10:40 PM
7

I believe you can petition the mods to get it changed. Ask them to review your posts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 08:37 PM
5

I can’t even be a part of a meme page without seeing slander against women. It’s almost constant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 08:28 PM
3

A breath of fresh air.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 08:40 AM
12

I love how when you reject a guy it goes from “it doesn’t have to be a date” to “I was going to take you to dinner afterwards, as a surprise.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 08:45 PM
13

I love how even when people thought this was real, they were more focused on a woman trying to set the record straight after being silenced and misrepresented for 18 years and interpreting that as.. salty? bitter? crazy? revenge? insecure? petty? Do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 09:18 PM
11

I’m honestly at that point where all I can respond with is: just say you hate women and keep it moving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 08:44 PM
1

I don’t need a PhD to see that you have issues. I have eyes. And reading comprehension.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/20 04:54 PM
1

Lol, we really must not be reading the same posts because nowhere did any of you but 1 say that they had a grownup discussion. The original post said that he basically told her to shut the fuck up and that he doesn’t care. That’s not a grownup conversation. Again, that’s a petulant 4 year old conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/20 04:06 PM
1

I love how your biggest issue with women is that they talk a lot. You get really angry about talking. You probably need a therapist. Perhaps couples counseling for her talking problem and your disproportionate anger about talking.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/20 02:47 PM
0

Just admit that you’re gay, that you hate women and keep it moving, dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/20 03:55 AM
1

It also doesn’t mean that you’re completely off the hook. Take some fucking responsibility - like I said, this is a marriage not an acquaintanceship. Reddit is all cOmmUNiCAte until it comes to actually putting in effort. If you don’t want her to vent all the time, then have a fucking grownup discussion about how you’re not a therapist and you’re not her best friend. Instead of sounding like an ungrateful, petulant child who has to put up with his dumb wife and should probably just fucking divor…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/20 03:45 AM
1

Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:10 PM
-2

They’re married. They’re not acquaintances.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/20 04:38 PM
-1

You should probably get a divorce then. Usually, people who keep going over the same issue again and again, do it because they aren’t feeling heard or validated the first time.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/20 01:18 PM
18

“a lot of people flirt with me” entitled NEXT!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 07:13 PM
5

Not really. Once an ex of mine told me that he didn’t like my red lipstick because my lips were dry. I don’t really wear makeup. Oh! Actually, there was a local bar I used to frequent and I would dress up and wear makeup (very locals kinda place, so I stick out.) once I went in there in a hoodie and no makeup, and literally everyone ignored me lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 09:34 AM
6

Yes, being shallow is equitable to rape, domestic murder and expecting every woman to be your mommy-slut. I see no difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 06:53 AM
10

Boundaries and standards still apply to parenthood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 04:47 PM
-2

They are lol that was the point, the music change was all the “perks”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:25 AM
27

Timely. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 02:52 AM
6

They met at a party, not online - but yeah! Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 10:24 AM
6

Lmao oooh noo, I knew this was happening from the start. I identified waaay too much with the whole Justin-Selena-Hailey saga, drama. 100% never doubted this is how it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 02:49 PM
12

Sounds to me, with the examples that you gave, and considering there was more than one in one single conversation, like he was trying to probe your boundaries and acting like they were jokes so you’d do exactly what you’re doing now: doubting, wondering, it hurt itself in confusion lol My opinion on flirtatious teasing is that unless you know someone and how they truly feel about potentially confusing “jokes”, you should be treading carefully and trying not to fucking blow it, not pushing bounda…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:59 PM
3

Lmao the delusions
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:55 PM
4

I can’t tell you how many times some random dude I just met told me about how some chick he knew told everyone that he was a rapist or molester, and how life has been so difficult for him now and it’s ruined his entire being. It’s an automatic disqualification from any sort of interaction and let’s me know that they have, in fact, raped or molested someone. Meanwhile, they have the audacity to think that I will sympathize with them! And I’ve been both raped and molested by several men. Every, si…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:40 PM
6

This is my point of view though: when I saw that tweet, my first and second thought was the Matrix. It took me remembering that we’re on the internet to see why that would be an issue. I’ve also never been someone to assume things - about anything. I actually really dislike it when others assume things, especially about me. Every person who I’ve seen talk about this issue has literally used the words “assume”, ‘we have to see that that’s what he means’, etc. that’s not proof to me. And for the l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:20 PM
-2

I’m not giving him the benefit of the doubt. All 14 of you misunderstand me lol if he’s a piece of shit, he’s a piece of shit. That’s not what I’m saying/debating. I’m saying that pieces of shit can still quote the Matrix. That’s it. That’s all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:00 PM
-19

Red Pill is a very well known Matrix phrase. That was my first and second thought lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 11:19 AM
-31

Umm.. I don’t agree with all his other actions surrounding this, but.. are we talking about the same red-pill here? Cause I don’t think we’re all on the same page lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 11:01 AM
5

Every male friend or acquaintance I’ve ever had has been trying to get into my pants or been genuinely mean to me- sometimes both at the same time. No in-between.. except for one of the gay men I’ve known who just sorta.. tolerated me lol he was nice, but we were friends through a mutual - not the same as an actual friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 08:25 PM
37

It’s very true. Men only “respect” women as another mans property.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 08:19 PM
1

I would say so! It made it easier to speak their mind, plus the rise of public radical feminism. Also the long term effects of 24/7 porn and internet culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 08:10 PM
20

It really truly depends. Like others have said, the handbook is more geared towards American gender/relationship society. If in that country things are truly equal while still being respectful and chivalrous, so to speak, well, hell, sign us all up we’re coming to you. But.. is it though? Is society there so different from ours or is it just another failed “feminist” experiment where everyone is pretending things are equal but men are still coming out on top? Factor in obvious things like rape, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 02:06 PM
1

Yikes sis, do you know how many times I’ve seen a variation of that exact “joke” profile? It’s not very funny the 30th time and is very passive-aggressive and speaks to his inability to be realistic/entitled. Very juvenile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 07:17 AM
23

This isn’t a choice you have to make for the rest of your life. If you want to be alone right now, go for it! You may change your mind in a year, 5 years, 10 years or never. That’s up to you then. I believe it’s very possible, what you want. But that’s why we have the handbook, so that when you do find that person, if you want to, you’ll be able to put yourself first and value your own happiness. It’ll be an equal partnership, not completely without human issues, but worth working on together. J…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 07:09 AM
16

It’s orgasming that helps because it relaxes the muscles, not just sex itself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:40 AM
54

Cheaters introduce girls to their friends and family all the time, they’re just trained not to say anything. Just wanted to make that point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 02:08 AM
2

It’s an epidemic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 12:54 AM
34

lmao she looks gasp exactly like herself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 12:15 AM
49

That’s just absolutely disgusting. And why is it that wives need to accept cheating, violent husbands, but not the other way around?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 08:17 PM
110

That.. was a really sad read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:48 PM
3

I don’t make the rules lol all I know is that certain words get you shadowbannned/deleted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:49 AM
1

Hon, he didn’t care about you. He never cared about you. He cared about what he could get from you, what you were giving him so freely: affection, an ego boost, self-sacrifice. You will be whole again. I promise you that. The only thing you need to lose faith in is HIM. He threw away your faith. He threw away your love. Multiple times. That means he doesn’t deserve your love. But you do. He told you you were a keeper because he knew you were in love with him and would do anything for him. He bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:07 AM
4

I’m not sure you realize this, but from the way you wrote it, he was having his cake and eating it too because he had a stable, loving, doormat wife who was putting him through college to have a lucrative career while getting to fuck whoever he wanted, including you. Meaning, it’s not that he was putting you through hell just for the sake of it and conveniently left when his career took off - it’s that he was putting you through hell deliberately so he could be put through college. If that came …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 10:44 AM
11

On Tik-Tok you’ll get shadowbanned or your videos taken down for using inflammatory or derogatory words like sex, suicide, kill, murder, or showing things like guns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 10:38 AM
3

at the end of the day I feel really bad about myself as a result of our interactions There’s your closure, sis. Delete his number, and the thread, block it, fill up your time and mind with beneficial, good, fun things. Things that make you feel genuinely good about yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 10:36 AM
1

Ha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 10:33 AM
5

You are completely correct and honestly it’s refreshing to see a post like this. Obviously, I’m so sorry that this boy has been gaslighting you and abusing your body. It’s just that a lot of women have simply accepted that this is just how it is and even when they know it’s wrong, they sort of shrug, say “that sucks.” and slowly break up or move on. Or don’t. But no, this is a form a rape. It’s not normal, it’s not okay. This is far from normal, but it happens to so. fucking. many. of us that it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 10:31 AM
3

I can relate. I was the same way with my ex’s friends and it was for a variety of reasons, but boiled down to this: I wanted to make a good impression, so I decided being as small and unnoticeable as possible was the way to never do anything wrong in their eyes. This backfired immensely because my ex was a manipulative dickhead. BUT it changed towards the end of our relationship when I realized that his friends were also dickheads who didn’t deserve to be put on a pedestal like they could make o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 10:16 AM
25

The reason you’re so attached to him is because you’re still having sex with him. Stop the sex, even if you don’t block him, stop the sex. Do whatever you have to do to stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 10:05 AM
24

“still finding the time to do it tho” GARBAGE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 09:30 AM
82

To build on that solid base, cool girls think that they’re different than other pickmeishas because (similar to the lib fem) they’re doing “what they want”, when in fact they’re still just doing what men want lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 04:00 AM
5

Hell yeah! It’s crazy how many women find this sub right on the heels of leaving some LVM FWB situationship bullshit - me included! I was kicking myself for doing every. single. thing. FDS said not to, literally just a month beforehand. Also, you feel so attached to him because you’ve had sex with him. It’s the sex that gets us, the frackin chemicals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 03:41 AM
33

Damn. If he didn’t want one of the big cookies, the actual logical thing to do would be to split the fucking cookie in half. He does not give a fuck about her, or probably women in general tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 02:31 AM
7

hahahah!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 11:11 PM
1

The Tinder Hack
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 10:51 PM
10

Men only think they have it hard because if they were women, they’d get to ‘have sex anytime they want’ and ‘use their bodies as a means to get ahead in life’. Meanwhile, women are getting shamed, devalued, raped, molested, catcalled, beaten up, made fun of, murdered, etc. for doing these exact things, or even not doing them! Just admit, men, that you are disgusting, porn-sick, hypocritical, jealous, sociopathic creatures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 04:57 PM
10

YIKES. He was 21 and in a relationship when she was 17. He dumped his gf of 2 years to have sex with a 17 year old. They aren’t even friends. It’s been 6 years. I just.. YIKES.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 04:47 PM
4

PLEASE tell me people were ripping him to shreds in those 53 comments
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 03:06 PM
88

Before even getting to the actual incident I can tell she’s been beat down to almost nothing. The constant apologizing, the justifying things that don’t need justification, screams non-existent self-esteem, not even low. It’s almost painful how little she thinks of herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 03:04 PM
26

2 fucking months bro. wooooow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 02:52 PM
9

It’s because you directly called them out for something they’re sure is the right thing to be doing - in their own mind. Meanwhile, dudes mostly know that they’ll continue getting what they want, no matter what you say lol That’s why whenever you see women on the internet defending NV/ZV men and their actions, the guys are usually taking a seat - they know they don’t have to do anything and they’ll still get what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 12:37 PM
10

How’d you get a picture of my ex-FWB?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:36 PM
87

It’s literally a tiny leap. He’s not even trying. That’s the point lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:22 PM
2

I have a couple questions, just to clarify the situation since you deleted your old post? How old are you guys? What country do you live in? Are your doubts about him as a person or the relationship itself as a whole?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 01:12 AM
7

Nowhere in there did she say to leave him. She said to 1) Make yourself happy, 2)honor your feelings and 3) take action. If that’s what you got from that, that’s your own subconscious talking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 12:23 AM
6

He’s 27. He won’t change, he’ll just learn to hide his disgust for women better. But not in time for that OP. Gross. Just gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 06:59 AM
16

She said that the brother is being cheap too often. Not that the ring looked cheap, unless I missed something. But yes, agreed, OP is leaving quite a few details out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 01:15 PM
21

When buying a ring, there is a way to go bigger in size while still keeping it at the same or even a lower price. I’m disappointed that even here I have to say the same thing: there was no budget, he wanted to get her the ring she wanted, he didn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 01:08 PM
68

Hey guys, I got BINGO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 09:57 PM
14

Gurl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 07:48 PM
16

I can’t stand behind that mindset, sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 07:45 PM
20

Dude, I was at a club, and during that one night, I got a drink kicked onto me, a girl standing maximum 5 inches in front of me with her back to me with several feet open in front of her, a guy knocking into me over and over again, standing (you guessed it) maximum 5 inches from me, a girl grinding on her boyfriend facing me and almost bumping me out of the way several times, and someone else doing one of those line dance things right in front of me over and over again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 07:42 PM
2

Beeeeen there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 06:42 PM
38

sis, SAME! Every word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:14 AM
11

If I were you I would’ve been gone 10 months ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 08:14 PM
48

“Wow, you were upfront about exactly what you wanted and he continued to date you? You need to communicate more.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 01:58 AM
14

Oh it’s real, similar situation happened to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 01:49 AM
41

Can you imagine: you die and you get the opportunity to see what happens afterwards, or you’re a ghost with unfinished business or you’re watching from above (whatever you wanna believe) and you see your POS husband hoist your baby, you tried so hard to conceive, onto the grandparents and then look into giving it up for adoption in the middle of a pandemic?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 09:06 PM
13

I am so with you. I’ve started a new playlist that’s literally just artists like Megan Thee Stallion, Solange, Lizzo, etc. because they have more empowering/stimulating songs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 06:51 AM
21

but this is obviously not that..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 01:23 AM
2

I wish I had seen this and taken it in a few months ago. Had me out here drunk texting him about how he doesn’t “know how hard it is to be a black woman trying to date in this area” then deleting it and blacking out. Had to see him again a month or so later, awkward as fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 07:51 AM
9

There are several AITA posts they mention in that comment, just to let you know!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 07:19 AM
2

I think you misread the boundaries part, but good on you for your 2nd paragraph!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 03:24 AM
136

Lol I saw all the comments underneath this ad on FB or something.. every single person was bloody outraged and confused by this, saying if she was a guy, people would be upset because she’s “disrespecting his boundaries”. You’re telling me that all of a sudden, every single person on the internet is about respecting boundaries while conveniently ignoring the context - that this man has been leading her on, already texting her (albeit inconsistently) and that she’s probably in a FWB situation whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 12:04 PM
12

Well hell yeah, being who she is, you better pay me to wreck my body having kids and then have to put in the work and get surgery done to bounce right back for my next tour lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 08:26 AM
1

I agree with you there. I was just saying that I don’t think this is an apartment issue, but a relationship issue. That’s all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 02:17 AM
3

I didn’t say she’s right because she’s a woman. I’m also not saying that he should’ve done more in terms of letting her stay in the apartment. I’m saying that this seems to me that for her this is less apartment hoarding and more trying to make him come back and give her closure. I also, distinctly, said that we all know there is no such thing as closure. Just because you and I know that, doesn’t mean she does or should. To me this reads as a woman trying desperately to get closure, even if that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 11:44 PM
14

You read that she has her own place, right? She’s not trying to keep the apartment or freeload, she wants actual closure from their 10 year relationship. He keeps shutting down that conversation. Seems like he won’t even appear at the apartment he wants to move back into. Now, we know there won’t be any closure, but the situation doesn’t seem to be how you’re interpreting it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 10:03 PM
9

Ah, how’d you get a picture of my Dad and ex-of ten years together??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 08:47 PM
19

“not universal” my ass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 08:27 PM
8

Right back at you, sister!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 09:03 AM
51

And THAT is why I kept CONSTANT screenshots of shit he said and did so he couldn’t ever slither his way out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:47 AM
12

That’s why there are the books in the sidebar too, the books FDS recommends address those situations and more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 10:15 PM
4

Hahaha HVM, but yes! Agreed, very much so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 10:14 PM
15

Thank you, I’ve noticed it as well. It was a little sad to see so many doing this same thing. I just never commented on it because I didn’t want to burst their little bubble, not individually at least. So thanks and preach 🙏🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 10:11 PM
6

It’s pickmeisha banter lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 01:58 AM
2

And this is purely about going on dates. We aren’t even talking about the girls who post on snapchat asking someone to send them free food, or go on Tinder asking for the same thing. If you don’t want to send her free food, then don’t. And if you do, you’re an idiot who deserves to be used for free food. Again, like somebody else said, call it the Audacity Tax for thinking you’re going to get anything in return from some stranger asking for free food.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 12:49 AM
51

This is the most accurate and heartbreaking thing I’ve heard about this whole situation we’ve found ourselves in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 06:36 AM
17

Ohhh yeah. The amount of constant sexist bs I see on there, some of it doesn’t even make logical sense for anyone involved! And they’ll throw women tweets on there too, to solidify the claim that giving them sex for nothing and doing everything for them is seen is womanly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 02:45 AM
4

This is one person. There are 7 billion out there in the world. Don’t let one bad person taint your heart - only let him sharpen your mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 12:27 AM
4

*when it comes to anything
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 11:22 PM
7

She apologized?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 11:15 PM
2

Ex-friend, indeed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 01:41 AM
5

Same. Was just “having fun” with this guy, would’ve been down for a FWB relationship. Literally wasn’t trying to date this boy, especially since he insisted on Netflix and Chill “dates”. Even before FDS I knew that was a load of bullshit. But he was cute and I liked the sex (or thought I did lol) This guy has the audacity to put his dick in my mouth for “morning foreplay” then asks me to be his girlfriend. I didn’t even say anything. What tf could one possibly say to that? A couple days later I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 10:30 PM
73

Yup. I was very drunk (we both were) to the point of falling in and out of consciousness, and all of a sudden he’s in me. This was a boy I had known since we were teenagers, we had been together for years at that point. He asked every once in a while, I’d say no. After that, because apparently ‘I liked it so much’ (read: was too intoxicated to know what pain felt like) he asked much, much more. I felt bad because I let him have a taste. The fucking trauma-cringe is real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 09:54 PM
15

Lol I’ve had a toxic friend say “It’s okay, I forgive you.” after me finally bringing up all of the crap she had done to me over months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 07:54 PM
9

“I’m such a horrible person!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 07:50 PM
10

Very true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 10:00 PM
19

OP obviously isn’t talking about HVM lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 09:53 PM
4

You don’t understand the meme
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 09:32 PM
9

What the actual fuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 01:15 AM
19

I don’t necessarily think OP asking if the social commitment was a date was the main issue. Especially if he was being shifty - it’s good to suss out the integrity of the guys you’re dating, if you have reason to. We don’t know if OP noticed something she’s not sharing. I think the main issue was when OP was confronted with the fact that he’s spinning plates, she asked him if he saw them being exclusive. He answered that question already by saying he’s dating other people. He’s obviously not inv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 11:39 AM
5

Yeah, you’ve misunderstood what I’ve said. When I’m talking about “he doesn’t know what he doesn’t know” I’m talking about not knowing that some black women wear bonnets to bed or how to take care of black hair, or discovering new foods they thought they wouldn’t like because of their East Asian girlfriend, or learning about cultural traditions from their Hispanic partner. Not educating them about easily accessible information, convincing them of your inherent humanity or trying to change their …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 07:45 AM
2

I’m glad you’ve started reading it! I love it. The author mentions exactly that, though, doesn’t she? That someone can exhibit one or two, or multiple signs, while still exhibiting positive traits. And that very rarely are people truly evil, but that each of these traits themselves = big issues that must be addressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 03:13 AM
12

Liking does not equal fetishizing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 03:09 AM
15

The only way someone should consider “teaching” a man and helping him unlearn is if he is a HVM in literally every other way. He doesn’t know what he doesn’t know is better than willfully ignorant and harboring racist views but disguising them as shallow interest to say he’s slept with one of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 03:05 AM
19

I think this has to do with whatever their pornsick brains tell them is their favorite niche on poontube. They get sick of the “vanilla” stuff and suddenly they’re telling Asian women they’re so kawaii uwu because they watch hentai; or they think black women are the most gorgeous cause ebony started trending. They just see us as exotic-flavored holes; like 31 flavors, congratulations you’re their pick of the month!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 11:44 PM
18

I’ve been in that situation living in a small town in the Nothern part of America. And you’re spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 11:27 PM
9

Have you heard of a book we recommend around here called Why Does He Do That? You can get a pdf version by looking online and the first 300 pages alone sound like they would help you out. Cause I hate to tell you (actually I don’t) you know the answer already - you’re just scared of what that answer is and all the time and effort you’ve already put into it. Sunk cost fallacy. Also, your cons list had more bullet points and each point was longer/more in depth than the pros. If nothing else, trust…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 12:52 AM
2

“Dump the whore! She’s obviously cheating.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 11:12 PM
2

Lol racism is the word you’re looking for. I’m with ya!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 11:09 PM
6

Think of it this way: in gay and lesbian relationships the norm is either the person who asked the other on a date pays or they split the bill because they’re each on equal footing in terms of gender equality. Men and women are not. They each bring different things to the table. That’s why we say don’t ask out men and let them pursue you, because when you become the pursuer the expectation becomes that you are the one footing the bill - and that’s just on dates. If you ask out men they don’t fee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 11:06 PM
1

I have an entire folder of screenshots lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 09:42 PM
7

So basically all of men’s problems stem from not being coddled enough by women? Even though we disproportionately coddle men vs ourselves? Lmao meanwhile, we’re being murdered, raped, abused, manipulated, etc. One of these things is not like the other..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 09:39 PM
14

Even the people being like “well my Mom forgot my birthday once! So it’s the same thing and women do it too!” made me want to scream a little. There’s always someone who, when faced with the avalanche of low-value male behavior, will go ‘but this women I sorta knew did that too, so it’s not just men!’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 11:12 PM
37

They’re roasting him because he had the audacity to want body pics from her as if she isn’t good enough, not just to be mean for means sake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 07:02 AM
28

He’s insecure that she’ll realize she can do better than him. He wants things to stay the same because then she won’t ever know her worth and live the life she deserves - which is sans him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 02:23 PM
4

I mean.. you’d be single either way! So might as well learn some lessons and start wading your way through the crap while you’re being single hahah
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 02:04 PM
17

Lmao don’t try to blame weed for your own sick deeds
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 11:38 PM
21

Yeah, sure, except the point they’re making is that they don’t enjoy it but their partners keep insisting that they will/do, which is not only condescending but dismissive and a turn-off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 08:58 PM
3

That’s fair. For me personally, it would be the way they easily lie. Integrity is in my top 5 list of must have qualities in a partner, whether that’s cis, trans, man, woman, gay, straight, bi, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 03:51 AM
6

Yup! For a different reason though. I’ve been single for almost 2 years after a 10 year shit-storm (relationship lol). I’ve dabbled in “dating”, mostly one fuckboi who I let play on my nice girl-cool girl personas for a few too many months. That ended twice with me saying you aren’t worth my time. Of course, I took him back a second time lmao Then I found FDS. Right on the tail end of this guy. I’m not very into dating these days. After delving into FDS I’ve noticed how painfully, cringely low m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 05:20 AM
3

What the actual fuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 06:28 AM
18

Like someone else said, maybe OP, men are takers, not givers. So if you’re in a relationship with a LVM they aren’t looking out for your best interests (helping you live your best life, making sure your garden is watered, rooting you on in your career/hobbies), they’re just taking everything you have to give so that there’s nothing left for you - not even time to think about yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 10:07 PM
3

Reframe it in your emotions and thoughts as learning much needed lessons. Feel the feeling of being proud of yourself for how much you’ve learned and for bettering yourself whereas these men who used your pickemeisha-ness probably will not grow or learn anything. You’re ahead of the game by even recognizing your past behavior. If you make mistakes in the future just know that you had to learn that lesson again because you didn’t the first time and isn’t it great that you got the chance to do tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 07:08 AM
12

The less said, the better. Almost always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 06:50 AM
15

Fucking GROSS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:53 PM
7

Me neither lol I’ve had so many guys get pressed when they text me and I go “who is this?” They act all sad and bothered and then still try to hit me up later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 04:29 AM
9

Oh gurl, did that with my last pickmeisha experience. Internally I was like “nah” and externally I was like “okay..” I’m very happy I laughed with (at) him afterwards and ended things pretty early on when I saw it going in the wrong direction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 03:57 AM
15

There will be other low-effort, spotty communication guys. Let them be who they are, and move along. Think of him and all these other guys as neighborhood cats who come to your door meowing for food or water/milk. Recognize that this cat probably doesn’t want you to adopt him and bring him inside forever and ever. He just wants whatever food or water you bring him and then to continue on his way to the other neighborhood houses who are also feeding him - even if he comes around two days in a row…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 03:32 AM
10

It was a good response, one that I use myself. Some guys act like they’re confused and try to pressure me into giving a different answer. I don’t. They know what I mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 03:27 AM
4

On the internet it’s very common for people to see the words you say and then completely disregard them for the bs they makeup in their minds. You realize that this person you’re having a conversation with is arguing with themselves lmao it’s eye-opening and pity-inducing. Also, revolting lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 03:20 AM
9

Also.. you don’t have to be friends with them lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 03:01 AM
5

Information doesn’t tend to stop people who ignore it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 08:59 AM
41

Haircare, skincare, shower products, vaginal care. All of that is just the natural stuff lol Shampoo, moisturizer, deep conditioner, leave-in conditioner, gel, combs, brushes, etc. Face wash, toner, moisturizer, serums, exfoliater, acne products, etc. Body wash, exfoliater, washcloths/poofs, lotion, etc. Gynecologist, panty liners, tampons/pads/cups, some people use Summers Eve, etc. That’s just to be clean and socially acceptable lol disregarding shaving and waxing Edit: mouthwash, toothpaste, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 06:56 PM
42

Isn’t it like that with most things though? Women go through periods every single month, pregnancy, birth, menopause. But if you hit them in the balls it hurts just as much! Women get sick and they have to continue running the entire household. But they need their soup, will you please get it for them?! Speaking of, Women are still the main household runners while holding down full time jobs, and going through human things like divorce, mental illness, child-rearing, etc. But, like, sometimes me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 04:59 PM
5

I second this explanation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 01:54 AM
4

All of you need to never speak to each other again. None of you need to be in contact with, seeing, talking to, Facebook friends with, nothing to each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 12:30 AM
10

I’ve been called an incel more than once on Reddit because I sometimes comment here lmao the audacity. The ignorance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 12:28 AM
11

I heard nothing but: yeah I agree with you but.. not really. Lying. Trying to manipulate the conversation back to sex. After the second time I wouldn’t have answered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 12:23 AM
7

Did you just call his behavior inappropriate and toxic? He is threatening to murder his 10 year old sister if she grows up. Inappropriate my ass. Apologists and enablers are the reason why people die.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 04:58 AM
6

Completely on the same page, from beginning to end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 04:44 AM
4

Ah yikes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 04:25 AM
19

That’s why it’s suggested to date multiple people at a time. You can find out who and what you like while not wasting time on one person at a time. Then find someone according to your standards. Just because someone isn’t cheating on you or abusive doesn’t mean you should settle - do as suggested and (respectfully) break up. Also, sure, six months or engagement is a long time but if that’s what makes you comfortable, that’s that.. it’s also suggested to wait about 2-3 months, not 6. A lot of wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 10:03 AM
23

My first time was, like, two hours of me on top waiting for one of us to get off lol he barely moved and I got rug burns on my knees that lasted an entire summer lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 09:53 AM
26

..”and so are 22 year old boys, 25 year old boys, and 30 year old boys, in my experience :)”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 01:12 AM
3

“This was a long term ex”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 01:29 AM
8

I’ve learned that lesson. This was a long term ex, so I “trusted” him. eyeroll
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 10:00 PM
53

Or even worse - the Del Taco date while you watch Netflix and they try to feel you up, then they fall asleep and you have to just sit there uncomfortably because they refuse to wake up and take you home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 05:14 PM
146

Why the fuck is this random man who will most likely never even meet this woman discussing her fucking eggs on a public forum. The audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 09:16 AM
13

Policing how she responded even though she was being perfectly pleasant and probably just bantering isn’t cool sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 03:36 PM
11

Hahaha right? That comment killed me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 03:57 AM
15

It’s better to say things in the positive, it helps the mind to digest it better: I am only attracted to men who court me impressively. I lose interest in men who court me unimpressively and move on to men who do impress me. Otherwise, perfect, love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 11:08 PM
3

Been there, done that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 09:24 PM
10

Lmao the absolute fucking delusion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 03:23 AM
2

Exactly. I at least had the presence of mind to play along while talking to other people and going on dates lol the blatant lack of integrity got to me in the end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 04:42 PM
25

They can’t even handle being FWBs, when the terms are astronomically in their favor. Same. That shit pissed me off before I found this subreddit. I was talking to a guy who was pretending to want to date me “in the future”.. meanwhile I’m like, if you just wanna be FWBs that’s fine too.. like I’m down for that. In fact, that’s pretty much all I want from you.. lol Couldn’t handle it. Kept dragging me along when he knew I knew he was bullshitting. I had the audacity to let him do that to me twice…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 01:47 PM
5

Delete the thread, his contact info if you put it in, don’t say anything. If he ever messages you again say “who is this?” then delete the thread again. That’s if you wanna be sliiiightly petty. If not just go with the first sentence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 05:59 PM
66

Been in a similar situation. It’s disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 02:53 PM
7

Hell yah, sister!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 01:15 PM
11

Very interesting..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 10:34 PM
43

The fucking audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 02:49 AM
3

It is absolutely possible to find a HVM who will love your kids and take them in as his own, and feel satisfied with that. Or will understand and work with your inability to do IVF and open a dialogue about adoption, surrogacy, or just feeling happy in your current family situation. Someone who will see your “flaws” and not think less of you for it, who will simply see the whole you and accept it all, even if it makes life a little tougher or more complicated. There are definitely men out there …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 09:31 PM
3

Not trying to be combative, but why are you here then? You said it’s nice to be around all women, but you disagree with almost everything OP said and that the subreddit is about, there are other subs where it’s all women. I’m confused, why be here specifically?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 09:24 PM
4

Well OP did mention that this is for people who are looking to date or find long term relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 02:50 AM
15

And they never seem to understand that, LVM. Dated a guy who would take me on a trip he was already going on, then do some fucked up shit and be like “don’t I take care of you??” Like, no! You obviously don’t know me if you think this is what I want and like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 02:47 AM
6

Um, I meant when performing oral, but okay gotcha lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 02:24 AM
5

Lol wait, what do you guys do now? I just let them finish on themselves, but I’m curious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 10:09 PM
-6

Lmao 40-50 year olds aren’t at the denture phase yet. Not unless they’ve had an accident or bad habits. My goodness you guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 05:36 AM
62

But.. that’s the point of the song lol You learned a lesson so you’re grateful for the relationship even though it might’ve ended poorly, because in the end it’s only made you better and love yourself more. That’s literally the song.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 05:28 AM
2

Damn. This is great, thanks for posting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 07:28 AM
8

I figured. I just couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t take the FWB arrangement I wanted to continue lying to me lmao But you said it. He’s trash lol trash doesn’t know what they want haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 07:00 AM
6

1 question, from the perspective of this book. I was with a guy. He wanted to have sex the first time we “hung out”. I said no, let’s use our brains first. Then lol we had sex the second time we hung out. (We had known each other for about a year though) Then he kept telling me he had a crush on me, it was within the cards to date each other, etc. I didn’t believe him. At all. TBH I wanted to just be FWB, but he wouldn’t stop saying all of this “I have a crush on you” stuff. This is how it’s bee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 06:33 AM
1

“None of it matters.” Yet you’ve been arguing with me about a moot point for hours. Gotcha. Enjoy your day dude. Stay outta mine lol
/r/MensRights30/09/19 04:35 PM
1

OK. I GET THAT. BUT. You’re still ignoring the entire first part of the post. Like if it doesn’t support your theory it doesn’t matter. But just because it doesn’t support it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or doesn’t exist lmao
/r/MensRights30/09/19 04:13 PM
0

Are we just completely ignoring the beginning of the post? Cool. Just wanted to know the rules..
/r/MensRights30/09/19 01:23 PM
-1

Ugggghhhhh and if it was a big, strong, beefy woman? A tall, beefy woman? Would you not describe her as big and intimidating? Or would it be emasculating and strong lmao that’s sexist in and of itself and not similar to anything I’ve said thus far eyeroll.
/r/MensRights30/09/19 01:06 PM
0

The story starts: The stalls are small. You are tall. You are so tall and cumbersome you can’t fit back here. Also, you’re making the other mothers uncomfortable BECAUSE not only are you too big BUT.. THIS IS THE FUCKING WOMENS FITTING ROOM. THEN, op says you can go wait with the other fathers. It starts out with OP literally talking about how tall and big he is. A lot. THEN it goes into how it’s a women’s fitting room, which has everything to do with the label on the wall. THEN it goes to all t…
/r/MensRights30/09/19 12:51 PM
1

How tf am I spinning something when the story is right in front of us. You’re acting like I’m a reporter getting the facts wrong in my story. We’re all here reading the same story. I’m not tweeting this to millions of people, so again, HOW TF am I spinning this story? I have my interpretation, you have yours. We’re allowed to disagree. Don’t be a fuck knuckle. My reading comprehension sucks? Ok, that’s fine. Doesn’t mean yours is any better.
/r/MensRights30/09/19 12:35 PM
1

Lol I’m not spinning anything. I think you’re confused - just like most everyone else replying to me. I am not OP. I didn’t get anybody kicked out. If this was me, as I seem to be having to repeat myself over and fucking over again, if it was a mother who was able to see over the curtains of the men’s dressing room, I’d be uncomfortable. For me, what I took out of it, was that it was the fact that the father could see over the curtains and was getting aggressive. That’s all I said originally. No…
/r/MensRights30/09/19 12:20 PM
-2

Nah, didn’t care about “everyone”, number 1. I wanted to make sure that a conversation is started by this comment, even if it wasn’t me.. but I was the only one with this opinion. So it fell to me. I didn’t even realize that you were the same person from the last board. So lmao you’re not that important for me to follow you from there to here. I’ve noticed that subreddits like this one we’re currently in tend to be circle-jerks of the same opinions over and over again. So, shrug I may not be the…
/r/MensRights30/09/19 11:34 AM
-6

Yes.. on this sub and the other one. Two different subs. So.. ? That’s fine. But don’t make up scenarios to fit your agenda when neither of us have the entire picture. With the picture we’ve both been given, that’s what I came up with. No made up scenario from my side. Can you say the same?
/r/MensRights30/09/19 11:02 AM
-7

I didn’t go into your profile lol the bot posted this link lmao tRiGGeREd much? Also.. yes. Did I fucking stutter? If a mother was able to see over the top of dressing rooms, I’d be concerned. But if she got aggressive, I’d want her evicted.
/r/MensRights30/09/19 10:47 AM
-10

Lmmfao He was tall enough to look over the stalls. People were complaining that they apparently didn’t want someone nearby with the capability of looking over the women’s dressing rooms with multiple underage girls in them. He got aggressive after having been suggested to wait in the waiting room which is usually less than 10 fucking feet from the dressing room. He didn’t do anything wrong. But you get aggressive, you’re treated aggressively. See the issue? If a mother was pushing 7 feet tall an…
/r/MensRights30/09/19 10:41 AM
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