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View 1 post and 54 comments by bankofgreed on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

Dating After Divorcebankofgreed/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 07:17 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

Sorry but you’re gonna have to man up. It sounds like your a STBX did the heavy lifting in terms of finances and raising children. I think you need to look in the mirror as what happened with the divorce. Second, even a broke homeless father is still better on your kids life than not being there at all. I guarantee your kids could give a shit about money or any other material concerns. They want you. To opt out would be doing them a great disservice. You would be making the situation worse.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 02:16 PM
11

Has anyone gone on one? I would be afraid it would just be a giant sausage fest.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 03:48 PM
4

I’m confused. You have a kid but you don’t date women with children?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 12:33 PM
3

I would think divorced moms would be a perfect fit for divorced dads. Or are you looking exclusively for women without kids?
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 09:23 PM
1

Are you married to my ex? Cause they sound the same. Notice I said ex. Tells you all you need to know on what to do.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 03:29 PM
1

Ehh speak for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 01:46 PM
15

It’s easier for divorced men since both groups are at a similar stage in life - and tolerant of the BS that comes with it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 01:44 PM
5

If I were you, do it before you meet. I’ve had several excellent prospects dry up because I’m living with my ex. These might might get pissed you didn’t let them know.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 12:28 AM
3

Do you tell the women you’re talking to that you live with stbx?
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 11:00 PM
2

Do you and your STBX still live together? I tried dating even still living with my now ex but it was a no go for a lot of women.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 09:38 PM
7

I initiated. Our divorce was finalize two weeks ago. She is in the process of moving out. I would do it again in a heartbeat. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner or before we had kids.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 01:50 PM
5

Being financial irresponsible should be a huge giant red flag. Once you get married her problem will become your problem. Take it from a guy who is divorcing a woman who is finically reckless. It’s never ends and only gets worse
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 06:03 PM
4

Before you can worry about a future one, work on processing the current one. Of course everything is raw and empty and will be for a while. Once you build yourself back up, you will have the energy to deal with a relationship and whatever comes with it - good or bad.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 01:27 PM
1

I’m in the middle of it. It’s been about a year since we separated and 10 months since I filed. It’s not easy. In fact it’s brutal. Maybe you’re lucky that you and your sTBX can remain amicable. Do you have kids? If not, can you maybe spends a few nights away at a hotel? All I can suggest in the meantime is sleep in separate areas and create a rhythm for yourself without too much contact with your partner.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 04:23 PM
1

no, not yet. About $8k. I might be heading to trial soon. that would be another $9K
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 08:15 PM
3

If you can’t trust your lawyer then you need to find a new one. When I first started looking, I met with 3 lawyers before I chose one. You want an attorney who is going to fight for you. Not someone who is passive or someone who is going to argue with you why you’re wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 12:54 PM
6

Working out is always a good one. The other is making time for your hobbies. Self care is another good one. A good fresh haircut, a massage or some new clothes for example. Anything that basically makes you feel better about yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 02:19 AM
2

Anyone dated while going through a divorce but living together? My STBXW and I have been living together for nearly 11 months once I asked for a divorce. I haven’t dated but God I want to. Do ladies understand? I always hear that women pass on dudes still living with their STBX
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 04:47 PM
1

File in NY. SC makes you wait a year once you file before the case moves forward. I don’t think NY has that or it might be three months.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 09:25 PM
1

Congrats!
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 06:40 PM
3

Get an attorney asap. You’ll have some legal protection if things get ugly. Change all your passwords and hide your valuables. Get a safe if you need to. I know it’s hard but one thing tha helps is to be a gray rock around your wife. No reactions, no discussions, nothing. The fire just burns itself out.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 03:51 PM
3

You need an attorney asap if you don’t have any already. You also need to get out of your head that your STBX will play fair or will consider your best interests. Fight for your rights and don’t let her push you around.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 04:00 PM
2

Lucky you. Why did it take 14 months?
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 05:02 PM
3

Honestly at points like this, you have to just trust and confide in yourself. Not in a stoic F the world sort of way but realize the only person who is gonna care about you is you. It’s freeing in a sense cause you don’t have to rely on anyone for your needs.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 05:01 PM
1

In my case, I asked for a divorce from my STBX 9 months ago. We live together but we’re basically roommates/strangers at this point. Would I wait one year from the date I asked for the divorce or 1 year after the Ink is dry on the divorce papers?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 04:53 PM
7

Supposedly you attract them when you’re healed. Like attracts like. But yes you’ll probably have to slog through a few stinkers to get there.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 01:13 PM
1

I think they mean you have to file the application for divorce but it won’t get looked at by the courts until 1 year later. My state it’s three months.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 06:00 PM
1

I’m in month 9 of this. And yes with kids involved and no custody agreement in place, your wife can claim abandonment. That’s gonna totally mess up any custody battles.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 05:25 PM
1

That’s what I’m saying. If you haven’t even asked for a divorce, then it’s a bad idea to spring it out the blue. She may be mentally unwell and yes you don’t love her anymore, but she deserves the decency of at least a warning. It would make divorce proceedings a lot easier if things stay calm. I think you’re under estimating how frustrating your STBX can make it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 03:48 PM
3

So you haven’t told her yet? If not I wouldn’t say you’re in the home stretch. You’re just beginning. When I filed, I had already asked my wife for a divorce and gave her the heads up that the papers were coming. If I were you I would let her know in advance. It’s going to make things worse if she gets the papers out of the blue. It sounds like you’re doing the right thing but be prepared for things to go sideways.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:15 PM
2

I plan on buying the most expensive bottle of champagne and drinking that shitty myself. Then I plan on taking a short vacation - maybe the Caribbean to celebrate
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 06:53 PM
2

When I got an appraisal on my house, I had to go with an independent appraiser. Not a relator
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 04:33 AM
2

Get your own appraisal. One from a reputable service not just a random realtor. I’ve heard that if there is a difference of opinion usually both parties will split the difference.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 12:11 AM
10

If you want 50/50 custody you’ll have to both agree on it. Just because your STBXW is the mother doesn’t automatically entitle her to full custody. Also marital assets are joint. If you both decide to sell you both split the remaining equity. Don’t let her bully you around. You have rights just as much as she does.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 10:39 PM
1

You graduate to the single men forum.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 02:52 PM
6

Going to the gym and taking up new hobbies seems to be the go to answer. Have you tried therapy? That can help process your emotions. It can be tempting but be careful of alcohol, drugs, porn or even dating. Yea they’ll help in the moment but they only make things worse in the long run
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 05:24 PM
4

Hey I’m in CT, too. It doesn’t matter who put up the cash for a down payment. Martial assets get split in half. I have a higher income than my STBX so that just means I’m going to pay more in alimony and child support. Regardless of income disparity, you’re still going to split the home and retirement and whatever 50/50. Unless you have a custody agreement in place do not move out. If you do, your wife can accuse you of abandonment. That’s going to give her leverage when it comes time for custod…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 01:33 AM
10

Are you on the deed? Then legally (at least in my state) she has no right to lock you out of your own home. You have a right to be there.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 09:12 PM
3

I was home with the kids when my STBX got served. It was a Saturday. Boy was my STBX livid. It was uncomfortable for everyone and I would never want to do that again. Only advice is to give your STBX plenty of advance notice. I did. At least it won’t be a total shock.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 07:04 PM
6

Join the club. You can’t do anything except work on yourself. My STBX and I have been cohabiting for 8 months while we work through the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 11:26 PM
1

Going through a divorce hasnt turned me off to the idea of marriage. I would like a re-do with the right person. But I'm with ya'll on the pre-nup thing. For a second marriage, lets leave with the same shit we came in with.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:41 AM
2

What was the fighting about with your home? Could your ex have bought you out? Im also in CT. The deed is jointly held but the mortgage is in my name only. My wife will not qualify for a new mortgage. Basically, she gets paid either by me or through a sale of the home. Im trying to think of a scenario where this gets bogged down.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:27 AM
2

Yes, just removal from the deed. My STBX cant afford to buy me out. Her name is no where near the mortgage. I did get the house appraised. I will have to give her 50/50 on the equity which is a decent amount since we bought the house.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 02:59 AM
3

Your list reads like my exact experience with my STBX. I mentioned this to my therapist and she labeled it emotional abuse. You should look up the term trauma bond. Basically it means you’ve devoted your life to making your wife happy but at the cost of your own well being. You’re lucky she filed for divorce. If I were you I would let her go and sign those papers asap.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 07:07 PM
3

It’s great that you’re here and he’s lucky to have you. However the work lies with him. He needs to get the root case of his depression. He needs to talk to a therapist or professional. He needs to be consistent and he needs to take ownership of any interventions. Otherwise this turns into enablement which just makes everything worse.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 06:35 PM
2

Were you both on the mortgage? My STBX and I are on the deed but I’m the only one on the mortgage. She can’t afford to buy me out. I assume this makes buying her out easier.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 05:20 PM
0

I would wager most divorce men totally forgot how to present themselves as a desirable partner. Hence why they’re divorced. They’re bringing that same energy with them when they’re trying to date and they’re falling flat.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 07:54 PM
2

I was in your shoes a few months ago. I realized it was better to be honest and divorce now that spend the next 20-30 years living a life that had no purpose and going through the motions. You’re actually in a great place without kids. You can file for divorce and you or your STBXW can move right out. I would do it before kids cause that’s when it gets very complicated as in learning. You gotta be true to yourself. Forget anyone else. If that little voice is talking to you, you can only ignore i…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 03:54 AM
6

I feel like a bit of an outlier here where I, 45M initiated the divorce, 44F and served my wife the papers. I took a good hard look at my life and realized the only path to happiness was a divorce. So that’s what I did and here I am right in the thick of it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 03:10 AM
2

I think you can have your attorney serve your wife’s attorney if she has one. Either way at she is going to get a copy of the divorce filing.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 04:53 PM
2

That’s how it works with the divorce papers. The other party has to get served by a Marshall since now it’s a court matter.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 04:46 PM
3

I’m still in the middle about two months post papers being served. My attorney says another 6-9 months ahead since we have kids. In my state the Marshall serves the other party with papers at home. That was a fun experience being home while my wife was served.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 03:00 PM
4

I’m on the same boat. My wife is 40f and I’m 44m. No infidelity between the both of us. I’m the one that asked for the divorced and served papers on my wife. At the end of the day you have to ask yourself if being married will make YOU happy. The process of divorce is tough as fuck but I wish I did it earlier. It’s grind but I already feel better without my wife in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 02:52 PM
3

$8,000 for the initial retainer and $400 hourly rate. Education ain’t cheap.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 06:54 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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