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bareasscontessa Archive

View 2 posts and 43 comments by bareasscontessa on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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21

As a woman, I’ve dealt with this. My therapist called me emotionally unavailable. I was angry because I consider myself very empathetic and kind and open. She said that’s not being emotionally available. You’ve been hurt and you guard your heart with a very offputting wall. You will be there for people but won’t let them be there for you. You will hold people while they cry but you are absolutely stoic and internalize all your pain. You won’t let people see any negative emotion from you because …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 09:11 PM
4

Anecdotal about one…..I found him attractive. When he met my friends, those assholes (I dropped them) said he was gross. It hurt my feelings because he was the sweetest man. I continued to date him until his daughters mother refused to stop stalking and harassing and threatening me. It was not his fault and I hate she killed the relationship but I can’t live like that. He and I are still friends. She is completely out of his control and will probably ruin every relationship he tries to have. He …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 09:06 PM
9

You have to be a sociopath or narcissist to amass that kind of wealth. You just can’t get there without stepping on necks in the process and that’s not a good quality to have. One of my exes was very well off. And he definitely worked his ass off, but he paid his crew absolute poverty wages and treated them like crap. He had to go. People who think they’re above others are garbage. It boils down to having a kind heart. The one with money was very nice to me, but not to others. That’s not a kind …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 08:57 PM
80

Of all the men I’ve dated, my absolute favorites that I was with for a bit had these qualities: 1) A mix of intelligence/passion/curiosity. They were interested in lots of topics from every view and devoured info and loved to talk about it. The twinkle in their eyes when they monologued about something they loved, was infectious. 2) empathy. They took the time to consider others feelings and even something would never personally affect them, they validated peoples emotions and were supportive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 05:16 PM
4

Same here. I prefer inexpensive first dates but even when it’s been pricey, I insist on paying my way. I don’t want a transactional relationship. I want to do nice things for each other because we care about each other. Keeping score is a relationship killer. And if you stop doing nice things for people because they didn’t lay a carpet out and praise you, you are not a nice person.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:05 AM
2

I prefer introverts. I’ve dated extroverts and they fucking exhaust me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 01:54 PM
1

Swap the genders in your post and I could’ve written it verbatim. Cheers.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 12:26 PM
0

Nice is basic decency and respect. Kind is active listening and making an effort to get to know you and building an emotional rapport. Nice is asking questions. Kind is listening to the answers and filing them away for later. Remembering someone’s favorite candy (50 cent laffy taffy) and showing up with one is kind. Nice is paying for dinner. Kind is not expecting sex for it. Nice is responding to messages. Kind is reaching out to say they’re thinking about you. Nice is holding the door. Kind is…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 06:01 AM
14

This is my opinion on fds as well. I love how they point out the things you mentioned and that did help me better vet potential partners. But I’m not going to discard a man who treats me well because he doesn’t make a shit ton of money. I just want him to make enough to keep his life in order. Basically, my equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 09:35 PM
2

This. All of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 07:58 PM
1

There is no point in this. Imagine two dads going through divorces. One is absolutely distraught because she’s getting full custody of the kids. The other is jealous because he got full custody but doesn’t want them and WISHES his ex would take the kids. These two will never see eye to eye, ever. Because they have completely different views. When I’ve told a couple different male friends and family members that I’ve been sexually assaulted, they’ve literally said “damn I wish somebody found me h…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 03:24 AM
7

This exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 12:57 AM
5

Rejection is much harder in person. It’s already hard and very common online. Honestly, as a woman, I would not attend an event like this. It’s just unnecessary pressure and judgement with an egg timer.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 11:21 PM
1

People really don’t cook anymore. Men or women. Lots were never taught. Lots don’t have time. Lots don’t care to learn and prefer to just eat out or heat up frozen/packaged stuff. I love nothing more than spending hours on complex amazing dishes while I blare music and drink beer. Or getting up on a Sunday morning and making strata or omelettes in my pjs with the windows open. I love doing this for others even more. But that energy is not reciprocated. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 03:45 PM
2

This is my experience in the opposite. I don’t have many physical preferences and the men I’ve dated have vastly different in every measure. It never lasts more than a couple months because once they find out I’m a great cook, that’s all they want. Food and sex. But the minute I get sick or have a rough day “that’s tough”. Like damn I’ve made you 30 - four course meals from scratch? Can you door dash a bitch some chicken soup?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 02:58 PM
2

Can confirm Ive had men fall in love with me just because I slay in the kitchen. I enjoy baking and always bring treats. When I get to know someone and find out what they like, I make it for them if they’ve had a bad day. If they get sick, I make whatever comfort meal they loved from childhood. The downside is once they find this out, I’m never getting taken out for dinner or treated again. We end up always at my house, with me cooking and cleaning up, and buying all the groceries. No thanks. I’…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 02:34 PM
3

I will 100% agree with you here. People feeling disposable has taken a huge toll on us collectively.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 04:33 AM
7

Fucking is easier for women. Dating is not. I could open tinder and have a hard dick in me within the hour. At the risk of sti, pregnancy, yeast infections, bv, UTI,…..and that little pesky risk of being fucking raped and/or murdered, all for statistically underwhelming sex that leaves me unsatisfied. Finding a man who actually gives a shit about me as a person, who wants to build a foundation on becoming best friends with great sex, who respects me and us, who shares my values, who can engage i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 02:47 AM
55

When I was a sahm with a nursing newborn and a messy toddler, still handling finances, all the cooking and cleaning, grocery shopping, meal prep, social calendar, appointments, enriching activities for the children, yardwork, car maintenance…..I had never been more miserable and exhausted in my life. But i did it because he was financing our lives. I was happy to go back to work when the kids started school but at that point he was used to me doing everything and still expected that even though …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 04:12 AM
11

I think that’s what did it for me. He was free to leave for whole weekends every weekend 3 months out of the year for his hobby, while I handled everything at home. The one weekend I fought to have to myself, I’d come home to dirty kids, a dirty house, piles of laundry, overflowing trash, filthy bathrooms, empty cabinets…it was just not worth it. Took days for me to get everything back in order. Now I leave 2 weekends a month to enjoy myself when he has our children and I come home to the house …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 03:18 AM
21

I was terrified to get divorced because I already did so much, I thought my workload would double. Nope. We split everything 50:50 including custody and assets. We have similar homes close to each other, pay our own bills, coparent happily, and my home workload is a tiny fraction of what it was with another adult here. He has admitted it took him running his house alone to see how much emotional labor I did. And I appreciate that acknowledgment. We’re both happier now.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 11:42 PM
1

Personally, I’ve dated across all spectrums of finances. I make my own money so I don’t need a man for his. I do expect him to have his own. However, I’m not planning on having any babies and I think this is where it gets tricky. If I were planning on having a family, there is rarely paid leave for new parents (USA) so yes, I’d be looking for someone who can cover the 2-3 months bills while I recover from childbirth without financially devastating us. It’s a very nuanced balance of finance and r…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 02:05 AM
2

That’s just it. It’s society. I lost my job while I was a pregnant newlywed and we supported each other. I got another job within a week but it was definitely high turmoil in the interim. After I got divorced and my ex finally went to counseling, he admitted that he bottled up all his feelings and felt resentful of me that I could just talk through shit with him but he couldn’t talk through shit with me. And that wasn’t my fault. It was societal pressure to be “the man” and just “deal with it” a…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 02:04 AM
1

I left my breadwinner husband as a stay at home mom and chose to start from scratch (again) in corporate America. I insisted on shared custody and declined support after getting on my feet. We are friends and coparents who now appreciate what each other brought to the union; but admit we aren’t compatible romantically. I realize this isn’t the norm, but not all women are just whores looking to leech.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 01:58 AM
1

Can confirm it is hell. I hate it here. But I’ll continue to ride solo and ruffle feathers. If not to invoke change, for my own enjoyment.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/21 06:13 PM
1

Well thanks for that depressive info dump. In conclusion, we’re fucked (once and ghosted)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 02:21 AM
1

It’s a mindfuck navigating this gray area between tradition and progress.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 11:22 PM
1

As a resident of the southern US, I can’t deal with the men down here for the same reason and will now be going down a rabbit hole thanks to your comment about 1980.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 11:20 PM
2

100% my experience dating in the US
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 11:16 PM
1

Accurate and beautifully stated.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 10:56 PM
1

Side note: Hugs and good juju to you for getting help!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 09:43 AM
34

No lies detected. This has been my experience as well. I had ONE good single dad I was seeing but our custody schedules just never allowed us to move forward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 02:53 PM
52

I solemnly swear my 12 year old son is worlds more emotionally mature than his 44 year old father because I’m committed to breaking this cycle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:41 PM
13

Me too. It’s been going on for almost 3 years. He’s even tried to kick the door in. Have it on camera. The cops pulled him over and let him go even though I’d signed 4 domestic violence warrants on him by then. Nothing ever came of it but severe ptsd for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 06:46 PM
38

20 bucks he was trying to catch you with a man so he could call you a whore
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 02:37 AM
20

Yes. And i will not hesitate to wipe floor with a Fuckboy who tries. I know how to fight and fight dirty. And if I’m catching an assault charge for self defense I’m getting my bail moneys worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 02:16 AM
47

Can confirm this has been probably the best lesson and stress reducer. I literally stole a handful of cards from my therapists office and as soon as they start in on their shit I drop a card in front of them and bounce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 02:13 AM
32

Just a tip, pay a consult fee with the top one or two divorce lawyers in your town so he can’t use them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 03:45 AM
142

God I remember the moment. I had a baby on my hip while dinner boiled over, helping first grader with a school project, the baseball and school uniforms needed to be washed, trash was overflowing, baskets on the table needed to be filled with treats for the baseball party (I was team mom), signs and goodie bags needed to be made for fall festival (room mom), had an order to fill for the business I was running from home, and a gift for a birthday party needed to be wrapped. The baby had a blowout…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 08:22 PM
16

You know, I have no answer...but I’ll say an ex contacted me today and I was very cold and short. He wanted to know If I was still mad months after the split. No. I’m not mad at you. I feel nothing for you. Hate is just a perversion of love. I don’t care if you live or die. What I AM angry at, is that a good one could sweep in right now and do everything right, and for minimum one year id be withdrawn with my guard up. That’s why these men make me so furious. It’s easy to spot the Fuckboys, But …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 03:09 AM
9

Same story. Divorced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:15 AM
501

I’ve found a claim to be dominant in bed means “I will aggressively use you to masturbate for 46 seconds” 100% of the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 01:42 PM
12

$1000 phone and blurry pics.....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 04:10 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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