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View 4 posts and 36 comments by barnun on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Agreed. I’ve actually used this style, if not the specifics of it - being playful, joking, a bit of push-pull, just no put downs, teasing and such.
/r/seduction30/08/18 02:46 PM
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Yeah, golden rule too. I’d HATE to date someone who constantly teases and pokes fun. Not my sense of humor and not the kind of person I want to attract.
/r/seduction30/08/18 01:44 PM
21

Are we talking about pickup or fish oil?
/r/seduction22/06/18 01:11 AM
2

You can always initiate a conversation about her feelings without leading with yours. “I’m curious about how you feel about our connection, how things are now and what you want going forward.” Then just listen to what she says, ask follow up questions, put the focus on her, and see if what you’re getting lines up with what you want. If she questions you back, you can be totally honest: “I really like you, and I want something real between us, but it’s hard being long distance and I’m not in a ru…
/r/seduction16/02/18 05:22 AM
2

Feelings are one thing, your life circumstance is another. Even if you're both really into each other, trying to have a real relationship when you're long distance is tough. I get wanting to know where things stand, but putting emotional pressure on her might backfire. Something I've learned over the years is don't make your feelings conditional on hers. You really like this girl, that's awesome. Let her do her thing, and if she feels the same or doesn't or wants more now or down the road or nev…
/r/seduction16/02/18 04:27 AM
3

I had an arrangement with a girl once. We met right before she left for college out of state. It was a good connection, so we agreed that when she was home, we were together, but when she was at school, it was basically "don't ask don't tell." We could both do whatever we wanted, and were mostly not in touch during those times. It actually worked really well, and we continued like that for about two years. I was really into her, and I would have been anxious as hell if I'd been trying to keep in…
/r/seduction15/02/18 03:51 PM
6

It's interesting how things shift depending on the perspective we take. On a macro/sociological/societal perspective, yes, you have men wanting sex and setting a low bar for qualification ("I'd fuck any woman who wants me!"), and women having all of those men to choose from and setting a high bar (or setting their personal bar wherever they like, which can vary as they please). Therefore, women must have all the power in sex, they are the gatekeepers. On an individual level, however, it's not so…
/r/seduction28/08/17 03:02 PM
1

If that approach works for you, that's all good. For me, that would all come off super weird. It's not a fit for my personality. I'm pretty blunt and open about sex. I might talk about sexual politics, beliefs, funny stories about maybe a time I went to a nude beach. A girl I want to have in my life is one who will jump in and have fun talking about those same topics. I'm communicating what I value - openness, freedom, fun, a natural enjoyment and lack of hang ups about sex and nudity. TBH, my i…
/r/seduction28/08/17 12:27 PM
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Not true, women only hold power if you give it to them. We live in a cultural paradigm that says men pursue, which puts women in the role of filtering and selecting, but where a man acts from within himself makes a big difference as to the power balance of any given connection. Women desire men, therefore they do not always hold power. They usually hide their desire up front due to the same cultural paradigm, but it's there, they have stake in the Game same as we do. If a man approaches women wi…
/r/seduction28/08/17 04:22 AM
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It's not really about "niceness." It's about negative core beliefs. Many core beliefs are not conscious, at least until we dig down and ferret them out. Some I've had, confronted and shifted over time: -Women are better than men -I have to make women like me (they won't do so naturally) -Men want sex more than women -Women always want committed relationships -Women hold all the power in sex and relationships -It's disrespectful to show sexual interest -Women will see my insecurity if I hit on th…
/r/seduction28/08/17 03:19 AM
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I've realized that I don't have to work so hard to generate sexual tension. You know how you see a girl and get that feeling of attraction? (and not always with girls who are 9's and 10's either, many things can turn people on). Girls get that too, and all you have to do in those situations is not not turn her off - and trying too hard to build tension can do exactly that. I used to approach like girls were all neutral about me and I had to DO something to get them interested. Now I just show in…
/r/seduction27/08/17 04:18 PM
1

Thanks for this, you just perfectly described the transition I've been experiencing! For me it was finding Elaine Aron's The Highly Sensitive Person books, as the key piece to my self-improvement journey, that helped me stop trying to overcome what I was judging in myself and to just accept everything, utterly and completely. I realized how much stress and pressure I put myself under constantly trying to be more confident, fearless and self-assured. When I accepted that I was always going to be …
/r/seduction01/08/17 10:59 PM
8

It is more risky, and also women often don't need or want to to be aggressive or direct. The most interesting thing I heard about this was from Ben Afleck, I think it was. He was saying that being a celebrity as a guy helped him understand where women are coming from. When he got famous he had women throwing themselves at him, and at first it was fun, but then it got old & boring and he became a lot more selective and even lost some interest in sex, at least as an end in itself. The perceived av…
/r/seduction27/05/17 03:16 PM
3

This is helping me give myself some needed advice too. Reading your post made me remember this girl I was with a couple of years ago. It was one of those instant, intense attractions for me, and I was so totally and utterly nervous around her all the time. So many times I thought I was blowing it with her when my nervousness showed. I felt too nervous to straight up ask her out, so went the friend route and was convinced I'd be stuck there. In the end though, the attraction was mutual and we end…
/r/seduction29/04/17 05:45 PM
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Thanks! I'm already working on the part of chatting with girls, doing it just to help their day be a little brighter, share some connection and fun. I work in retail so I'm getting a ton of practice in making that my orientation towards all people, as well as going above and beyond wherever I can to do something extra for them. I'm noticing it's bleeding out beyond my work, where I'm just spontaneously helping people almost as a reflex, and I notice too that people will approach me for help, eve…
/r/seduction19/11/16 10:12 PM
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I've been having similar thoughts lately. I've actually felt like I have no interest in relationships because I'm enjoying the freedom and peacefulness of being by myself. At first I didn't know what to do with that. All of the social conditioning came up, that there may be something wrong with me, I should want a girlfriend... But then it hit me, this is exactly where I've been trying to get to for years. I'm not attached to an outcome, I'm without need, without lack. I can say or do anything b…
/r/seduction19/11/16 04:18 PM
33

You actually can say whatever comes to mind. I had a friend who was amazing with women, and said some of the dumbest shit you ever heard. The key was, he never got self-conscious, backtracked or showed that he cared about others reactions. He'd say something stupid, maybe get called out, laugh it off and just keep flirting.
/r/seduction17/01/16 02:29 AM
17

This is so interesting for me, since I've always felt deep down that I'm this guy, but I've struggled to let go myself and express this. Lately I'm thinking that guilt is the reason. While my own beliefs are that we should all just let go, have fun, experience life and love and sex with total freedom because in the end it's all just stories to look back on, I think that I doubt others share this, especially girls. Maybe I've just bought into those initial "I'm not like that" statements instead o…
/r/seduction18/10/15 01:38 PM
17

It always comes back to money. Use the term "sex offender" instead of "rapist" and suddenly you can lump everyone who has committed a crime that has anything to do with sex or nudity into the same pot. How is this profitable? Sex offender treatment. Now all of those guys need to get "therapy," and the "therapists" who "treat" these people get a steady stream of clients. Not to mention it's sometimes required for SO's to take regular polygraphs and plethysmograph (deviant arousal) tests at a coup…
/r/MensRights05/08/15 01:36 AM
2

So, so, so many fuckups along the way, every one of them necessary for learning, but finally putting it all together. Appreciate the support.
/r/seduction04/07/15 03:42 AM
1

Exactly. Your mind tells you you'll miss out on opportunities and be more limited, but the truth is that you're freeing yourself to fully express yourself, which leads to greater opportunities. And down the rabbit hole we go....
/r/seduction11/06/15 04:02 PM
2

I identify. Fear is your friend. For me, lately, I've realized that my fear is the part of me that wants me to have it all. It wants to protect me and make sure my needs are met. Whenever I get ahead of myself and start investing in a girl, my fear kicks in. "You don't even know her. Why are you giving her so much power?" It's taken me a long time to realize this is what my fear is actually telling me. I judged it, blamed it, called it cowardice. Now I see it's actually just the part of me that …
/r/seduction11/06/15 04:01 AM
1

Use discernment. You don't approach every woman you find attractive, like a robot. It's probably not wise to hit on your boss. Some things are better left unsaid. You're probably only ogling inappropriate women if you're not approaching and taking risks with appropriate ones. A starving man will eat anything, including with his eyes. A well-fed man will discern the best foods for him and select wisely. If you're struggling with discernment due to a lack of available women in your life, make diff…
/r/seduction22/05/15 01:29 AM
9

Great advice here. Somewhat along these lines, here's a mental frame I've been working with recently: When you make eye contact with a girl you're interested in, consider yourself outed. Jig's up, she knows you like her. At this point, the only creepy thing is to try and hide what is probably already obvious to the both of you. The only way to avoid creepiness is to follow up and acknowledge your interest. The guy who eyeballs girls and never approaches is creepy! The guy who looks at them and a…
/r/seduction21/05/15 03:33 PM
1

You need to shift your perspective here - its not about acting in a certain way for her benefit but for yours. Its about what's right for you as opposed to what will win her over or impress her about you. You avoid texting her constantly not to show her how aloof, cool and unattached you are, but because your life, your time and focus are important to you and she hasn't yet earned a major emotional investment from you. It's not playing games, it's simply about being true to yourself and making y…
/r/seduction08/05/15 01:38 AM
3

No, OP did the right thing there. She agreed to a date, showed interest, they made out, she opened up to him. It was later on that problems arose.
/r/seduction07/05/15 05:38 PM
6

I'm having a similar experience, but something I'm noticing is that I easily forget just where I was in my mindset and self-image just a few months or even weeks ago. If you're doing it right, you're not feeling like a different person, you're just more comfortable with who you've always been. Because of this, the change can seem subtle to you, but it's remarkable how strongly others pick up on and respond to it.
/r/seduction08/04/15 02:49 PM
1

I used to feel this way. I remember in HS thinking that in all seriousness I would fuck every single girl there without question. So one factor is age. Another is confidence and self-acceptance. If you relate to sex as a form of validation, you're going to be less discriminating and desire to get that sort of feedback from a larger pool of women, given that it's more about filling a need in you. The solution is to focus on you, your genuine desires and needs. Practice being selective. Instead of…
/r/seduction28/03/15 02:54 PM
4

Your fears don't go away, you just learn to manage and own them, which prevents them from holding you back. Just last week on a first date I told her I have a major fear of rejection, and we ended up back at her place. I'm way more comfortable with her than other girls I've dated because I put my "dark side" on the table and she's still into me. So my fear is diminished, but it's because I'm embracing it, instead of trying to eliminate it.
/r/seduction22/02/15 10:17 PM
7

I've been wrestling with this for some time, and I agree with what you're saying. The point is to be real, be honest, be in your power. Well, what if you really like a woman in more ways than just sexual? What if that's your truth? What if you totally click as friends, never run out of things to talk about, share the same sense of humor, have similar interests, and have fun no matter what you're doing together? In my experience, people like that are NOT easy to find, and when you do find someone…
/r/seduction23/10/14 07:28 PM
1

I've been following John Cooper's work and honesty has been a key piece for me in becoming way more confident than before. Of course, it all begins with totally honesty with yourself first. I've been listening to that deep fear and insecurity that comes up when talking with girls (and most other people too, to a lesser degree) and actually accepting it, acknowledging it's a part of me and not judging myself for it. The result, surprisingly, is that the more I accept it, the more it just melts aw…
/r/seduction15/09/14 03:33 AM
1

We have a really flirty, teasing vibe, so humor may work well. I think I can communicate my displeasure without being harsh, keeping it light but still get the message across. Thanks!
/r/seduction31/03/14 03:45 PM
2

That's what I recognized, the whole "we teach people how to treat us" thing. If that was me, I would have gone out of my way to contact the person I made plans with as early as possible just to let them know to not wait on me. If I was really stuck and couldn't text or call until much later, I'd apologize for the situation and that they were left hanging for so long, even if it was unavoidable. I don't think that's an unreasonable expectation.
/r/seduction31/03/14 03:43 PM
7

Not a popular opinion, but I agree with this. Once a person becomes sexually developed and aware, the act of sex, when one is a willing participant, is hardly an experience akin to actual rape in any shape or form. It still might not be right or appropriate. The adult participant is still at fault for failing to set proper boundaries, but the violation is of an ethical nature rather than a criminal one, especially when it's a case of invited, initiated sex from the younger participant. There are…
/r/MensRights02/10/12 03:52 AM
1

No, you are a completely average girl, totally deluded. So... wanna make out?
/r/seduction18/08/12 04:01 AM
3

Great stuff here. I'd just add that all the stuff you're thinking about wanting college to be w a wild, fun, crazy time? Practically every girl on campus is wanting the same thing in some way. Be the source of adventure. Be the guy who is always planning or doing something interesting, off-beat or just really fun. Join clubs and activities and chat up everyone there. Pick a different person to sit next to in class each day and do the same. Let everyone see you being the guy who breaks the ice an…
/r/seduction13/07/12 12:57 AM
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