Did this last week and thought it would be interesting.

1. How'd I do it?

Revamping my profile/improving my opening message game.

I'm 37, and I've had an OKC profile for years. I realized it reads like a 20 something guy's profile ("look how wild and crazy I am!") and it needed updating. I'm looking for love now, I know who I am and what I want, so my profile needed to reflect that.

I edited, posted to the OKC subreddit, got great feedback, and edited some more.

In addition, I read some good articles on online game. Not linking due to laziness, but easy to Google (GirlsChase has some great stuff IMO). Needed to modify a bit since they're mostly for the player/younger type, but still - clever, short, and funny do get the best results. Guaranteed responses are a fantasy. Most girls won't give you the time of day, but with a solid profile and pics to back you up, enough will...

I messaged and liked a ton of women. It's a numbers game no matter how good your game might be.

Takeaway:

Lead with your best. I hid a certain modelling shot (done by a friend, I'm not a professional model) I had in the middle of my pics since I thought leading with it would be too "try hard." I got advice to make it my profile shot, and girls are all over it. Way more views, likes and responses since that change.

Short and sweet (and funny). One or two lines. Grab something from her profile and make a joke about it. Shows you read it, and shows your sense of humor. Take risks to stand out. Better results, actually, when I didn't ask any questions. Shows confidence she'll respond without being prompted.

2. Why'd I do it?

Because I'm looking seriously for a girlfriend, and I want options. I knew at least a few of these would cancel/flake and I figured never count my chickens. I wanted to see where I'd be after the smoke clears, and as it turns out, sitting pretty, actually. More on that later...

3. The dates

One of these, Lara, was a second date. Right after making these changes, I messaged her perhaps the cheesiest line I'd ever thought of, based on something in her profile. I was sure she would never get back to me, but she got the joke and pretty much immediately wanted to meet up. We had an amazing first date, ended up making out in Central Park for 4 hours. I can do an FR on that soon if there's interest, though "instant chemistry" basically sums it up. One key I noticed is that our date was outdoors and involved a lot of walking. So easy to do kino, play with space and "accidentally" brush against her.

for date 2 I took Lara dancing. She was adorable trying to remember the steps and cringing slightly when she'd mess up. I called her out on that playfully. More chemistry, made out all over the city, talked about what our needs were, third date tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited.

Maybe was fun online and in text. We flirted like crazy right away, she quickly gave me her #. We were supposed to meet Monday, but she texted to postpone. Crazy weekend & day. Fine. We rescheduled for Thursday. Then, last minute Thursday she had a "migraine." I should have called her on her BS or at least teased her on it, but I hate games, so remained patient and said we could reschedule again. Never got a response.

Kelly was set for Sunday. She was similar to Maybe personality-wise. Immediately flirty, but then rather unavailable. I'd actually begun connecting with her several weeks prior and then lost contact. She surprised me by getting back in touch. It took several tries over these weeks to nail down our Sunday date. Day of, I knew I'd get held-up at work and texted her with several hours notice to push our date back 15 minutes. That "made it too late for her" and she asked to reschedule. She'd been flaking hard previously so I never responded to her - see "doesn't play games." Having so many dates lined up helped me to just drop her and move on.

Elise was scheduled for Saturday early, coffee and nature walk. Then I noticed her profile pic was from 1996(!). She'd contacted me first, which, unfortunately, can be a red flag. I called her out on it and got vague excuses and deflections. Probably wasn't even her. I blocked her number.

This gets better, I swear...

Betty was Sat night, and it actually happened! Extremely cute girl, maybe the best looking of all my dates. We clicked...personality-wise. No chemistry. I knew 5 minutes in there was no spark. We never ran out of conversation but at the same time we were just going nowhere. I threw out whatever I could think to change the dynamic. She was hot, I wanted to feel something! But, sadly, or thankfully, a quick hug goodbye and that was it. We shared tons of interests but I'm a crazy artist hippie at heart and she's more conservative by nature. I'm going to ask her out dancing as friends sometime, because I do think she's an awesome chick but I don't want anything further with her.

Ellie was Tuesday. I didn't have high hopes. She was a nerdy girl, and I could tell her pics were selective. Chances are she didn't look as good in person. And that was sort of true. But I really didn't care. We clicked instantly. We're looking for the same things, and I wanted to kiss her after the first ten minutes. She's cute, a bit awkward but intelligent, funny and...well...submissive, which is a massive turn-on, as I found out when I kissed her. She just melted into it with her entire soul. I wanted to fuck her on the spot. She's the least physically attractive girl I met that week, but the one I'm looking forward to having sex with the most.

Marisol is non-monogamous. And looking for a long-term relationship. Which I love both aspects of. I was super excited to meet her, and it was not a disappointment. She was all over me by text all week, so I knew she was excited too. Another case of instant chemistry. Not as strong as Lara or Ellie, but I knew soon after meeting her I was going to kiss her by the end of the night, or at least try to. We talked openly about sex, relationships, wants, needs, etc. We walked out of the bar, we stopped facing each other, talked for a minute, I moved in and...she's a fantastic kisser. I drove her home and we made out more in front of her apartment.

Takeaway:

No chicken counting. Girls will flake. In this small sample size, for what it's worth, the flirtiest girls flake the hardest. Attention whores? Maybe. Or just not my style. I don't neg or shame or try to outmaneuver a girl. I offer my time and move on if she doesn't value it. Multiple options/ successes make this easy to do.

Chemistry is or ain't. I knew I'd make out with Ellie, Lara and Marisol right off. Betty wasn't happening. In the past, I'd beat myself up for "not converting" a hot girl like Betty, but now I know to trust my gut and respect my instincts. Cut your losses and move on if it's not there. Remember, it takes two to tango and mutual desire and will have to be present.

Mission accomplished

I now have three women I'm going to keep seeing. I see Lara tomorrow for date 3, Ellie Sunday for date 2, and need to schedule something with Marisol.

Meanwhile, I'm casually chatting with a couple more women online, still not counting my chickens. I can't handle more than three girls at once, given my time and finances, but if one drops out I want to have other options to pursue.

FYI, Lara almost flaked on our date tomorrow. In the past I would have gotten oneitis, freaked out and assumed she changed her mind on me, maybe messaged her desperately trying to fix what was never broken. Given I have two other girls in my life, I played it cool and didn't blow it. I gave her space, she made her schedule work and we're on again.

Women in their 30's are AWESOME. I'd dated down for a long time. l look young, so I've gotten away with dating 20 something's past my "prime" for it. The two girls who flaked were 29 and 30. The three I'm currently seeing are 34, 34 and 37. No games, no bullshit, looking for real love but also willing to play with things like non-mono, needing space to focus on their own goals but wanting someone who's there to really build something long-term. Highly recommended.

This is a lot, and at the same time I skipped over tons of details. AMA if you want any more specifics on this FR.