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View 2 posts and 135 comments by barzerobar on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

barzerobar/r/askTRP19/08/14 09:09 PM
4

barzerobar/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/14 04:30 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

Beta qualities illicit feelings of comfort and security after the attraction has set in. Makes them feel you'll stick around, especially if they feel they've secured a top teir mate. It drives in the feelings of being "in love" and of being desired than just being a fuck toy.
/r/askTRP17/10/14 03:35 PM
1

I hear ya man. The shit tests get tiresome for sure. I not I'm feeling it, as well. The price paid for being beta for so long, unfortunately. They've gone on for so long being placated and supplicated that it'll take time "reprogram" them to the new us.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/14 06:11 PM
1

And this too. And look up Briffaults law. It'll help you cope with the value you provide and how your wife perceives it.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/14 02:57 AM
1

Maintain. Frame. At. ALL. Times. You sound like my situation. The key is practice. Even when you're not engaged with your wife, script out the scenarios in your head and start practice your reaction. Write them down. Whatever makes it clear to you where you analyze your response and refine. I do this all night long before I go to bed. Just don't back down from your wife. Ever. GL OP.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/14 02:57 AM
2

After the first initial sessions, she said stuff like, take care of yourself first, how can she respect you if you don't respect yourself, set your boundaries and stick to them. It's okay to say no to your wife. Honestly I don't hope for much. I've mostly been focusing on curing myself of oneitis and collecting up evidence despite it being circumstantial. If /r/adultery/ has taught me anything, it's to not ignore circumstantial evidence.
/r/askTRP16/10/14 02:52 AM
2

In therapy now, but as time goes on, the therapist is displaying a LOT of RP/RPW philosophies. I've been applying a lot of TRP principles even in therapy and a lot of the topics have been falling on her shoulders to resolve since they are her feelings, not mine, since she likes to play the victim mentality. It matters not. I'm only bidding time and saving since the sessions are on her dime. I'm on my way out, unless she falls in line.
/r/askTRP15/10/14 10:01 PM
2

You, and only you, would know your wife best and how she could potentially react to philosophies and topics dicussed around here. If she's any degree of feminist or demands that all things be "equal," I would advise against it. Rule 1 & 2, my friend.
/r/askTRP15/10/14 09:56 PM
2

edit: I broke up with her last night after confronting her about the messages I saw Good for you. You dodged a bullet with that one. I married mine. Look how well I'm doing...
/r/askTRP15/10/14 09:42 PM
7

Um, yeah. Did all that. Look where it got me. Here.
/r/TheRedPill15/10/14 09:38 PM
1

At 14, you don't. Focus on yourself and only yourself. If you've got nothing but girls on the brain, you'll lose frame every time as a BP orbiting little bitch. Start with the discipline of getting in shape and your studies. If you can keep that up without being distracted, you'll be better off with ability to maintain frame when chicks come around.
/r/askTRP15/10/14 06:13 PM
2

I hope for your own sake, you've taken control of yourself and made improvements. I can only relate to a certain extent, but shit like that fucks you up. Especially unplugging after 17 years of "slavery" and finding the truths to being "a good man" were actually lies. I don't know man, I feel like I know you already. My heart goes out to you. PM me anytime. Seriously.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/14 05:48 PM
2

Taught me to not ignore the circumstancial evidence. That place is fucking nuts...
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/14 05:37 PM
2

No joke. I'm not on keto, but proper nutrition with lifting/excercise get the job done. Can't get the results you want eating garbage day in day out. Your body is a temple and you don't deface a temple.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/14 09:00 PM
1

Get her a card. Max. You're setting a bad precedent if you get her the earrings.
/r/askTRP14/10/14 08:46 PM
2

Yep. It's sad, but I love to be helpful. It helps my own confidence and selfworth when I display my value (fix cars, build shit, move things, etc.). Like you said, I was treated like a well-trained work horse after long awhile.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/14 08:33 PM
1

Oneitis and BP bullshit can drive a man to want to kill himself. It's not over-exaggeration. Consider yourself fortunate.
/r/askTRP14/10/14 08:23 PM
3

I suppose it depends on the severity of how well you were indoctrinated into BP mentality and how deeply infected you are with oneitis. 17 years I "slaved" away my time, effort, and resources to be the man BP expected of me as a BF/Fiance/Husband. And then after all that effort to "earn" a woman's love and do everything "right," you get the "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" speech. Well, it's a sure shock to the system. When you spend a third of your life investing in the woman you love…
/r/askTRP14/10/14 08:19 PM
1

This. I switched out from doing 4-day splits in favor of SL 5x5. I feel I get more out of it than working through the different muscle groups. In addition, gives more time for to run/bike/hike, as well, without feeling gassed out. GL OP.
/r/askTRP14/10/14 08:06 PM
2

I hate getting "volunteered" to stuff like that. Put a stop to it real quick after TRP.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/14 07:42 PM
3

Like I said, you can't stop her if she's determined. The fact that you've let on that you know "something" just means she'll be more careful. At this point, I'd suggest you start logging her activities away from you. Like /u/En_sigma/ says, look for a burner phone, if the texts "suddenly" stop. Don't tip your hand that you're watching her. Most of all, focus on yourself. If you have oneitis, it's time to get off that shit. Remember that you are the prize. GL OP.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/14 06:36 PM
1

Yes, one can regain/maintain respect w/o acting like an asshole. We can definitely agree on that. Thinking about it some more, I injected my own context to my response and my personal situation with my own wife. And in my own situation, it was definitely necessary to stop her tendencies to yell at me. These days, she definitely things twice about raising her voice at me for any reason as she particulary does not like being told to fuck off. In fact, she hasn't yelled at me since I swallowed TRP …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/14 06:12 PM
5

If it's not this guy, it'll be another guy. The guy doesn't matter. It's your wife and you can't control your wife. Despite the fact that all you've laid out to us are circumstancial evidence, the question you should really be asking yourself is "Can I ever trust her again? If not, can I stay with someone I can't trust? Can I get over the possibility that another dick has been in her mouth, pussy, and ass and she loved every minute of it?" That said, your post has red flags all over it. You may …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/14 05:57 PM
1

The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar - It helped me understand my own value and put more context into therationalemale's articles on Men/Women In Love. Woman Infidelity I & II by Michelle Langley just to understand just how powerful the hamster can be, especially in a marriage. The Way Of Men by Jack Donovan - Read this to help understand to what it means to be man.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/14 05:34 PM
1

The quickest assessment I do in my head, is "How deep is this going?". That's a good tip. I'll definitely use that. Thanks. I guess I've been so loser-beta for so long, I tend to default to asshole-alpha a lot. Mostly to keep myself from being manipulated. It doesn't help the fact that she reinforces my "asshole-ness" by being emotionally responsive when I'm being a jerk and self-centric when some beta gets by.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/14 05:25 PM
1

Getting yelled at for a trivial reason? The calibrated response is "Fuck off." With situations like these, it's not enough to just maintain frame, but also to punish inappropriate behavior to reduce/eliminate future occurances. As a result, hopefully she'll think twice before yelling and being overtly disrespectful.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/14 05:17 PM
3

Good stuff. I still confuse shit tests with loyalty/comfort tests, but maybe it's because I generally just don't give a fuck anymore. But I love reading these success FRs. Thanks for sharing.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/14 04:27 PM
1

If your wife is bpd, make sure the lawyer of your choice is experienced in high conflict divorces. At the same stage as well, seems to be normal.
/r/askTRP14/10/14 04:14 PM
5

Control is an illusion and jealousy is weak character trait that overtly displays your own insecurity and qualifying to her standards. Set your boundaries and stick to them. If she crosses the line, next. You are the prize. Not the other way around. She will constantly test you to convince herself that you are the best man in her life. Don't fuck it up with stupid shit like being controlling and jealous.
/r/askTRP14/10/14 04:10 PM
1

The anger phase is brtual, but necessary. Hopefully, he can channel it towards improvement and not destruction. Or worst yet, backslide...
/r/TheRedPill14/10/14 03:09 PM
2

That's the plan. I'm already set for a night out at a speakeasy. She'll see me all suited up, smelling good, and feeling great as I head out the door.
/r/TheRedPill11/10/14 12:43 AM
2

Yep. The only time I took my eyes of him was to point out the other guy gaming "his girl." And I couldn't say it was deadly. I was seriously trying not to laugh. I'm sure I had a smirk on my face or something.
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 06:58 PM
2

This. Well, not the happy part for me lol. It especially doesn't help with the increased IOIs I have taken notice of.
/r/askTRP10/10/14 06:56 PM
1

Yeah, I train to fight. Not that I go out looking for it. This fact only highlighted the riduculousness of the confrontation, thus resulted in me being amused and not stressed about it. Although, I have to admit, since RP, I don't feel compelled to pussy-out when confronted by anyone, especially my wife. Thanks for the vote of confidence. I haven't fought anyone since 8th grade Junior High School lol.
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 06:45 PM
7

I concur. She played to your emotions. Learn the lesson. Apply for next time. Next time, leave. Come home with the smell of another girl's perfume on you and freeze her out. That's dread.
/r/askTRP10/10/14 06:35 PM
3

Oneitis is plague that can ravage all men. Isn't it amazing that actions taken in the name of "love" can also be attributed to insanity?
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 05:30 PM
4

The connection aspect can be a powerful thing. It's not just sex, it becomes a complete emotional experience. If she can create that "bond" in an hour, 2, 3, she's got her game down. It then turns into an addiction. An emotional high.
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 05:28 PM
2

I love the stooges! Comedy geniuses. I would love lots more kids (I grew up in a big family), but I can barely stomach being intimate with the wife at this point, let alone try for more kids and the clock is almost out of time.
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 05:09 PM
8

Reading your post give me hope that I can turn things around with my wife and not have to file. Thanks for sharing. Sadly, my birthday is in a few weeks. I doubt she'll do anything...
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 05:01 PM
1

Maybe. As good as I feel about myself, I try not to let it get to my head to the point where I feel in-fucking-vincible. Plus, I have a short reach lol.
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 04:40 PM
2

No doubt. I was "gaming" this cute little 20-something (not to cheat, but just to hone my social skills and game to apply as dread later on with my wife). There was lots of smiling, arm touching, laughing etc. When I went to the bar to get a beer, I got confronted by a 6' skinny, but tone, dude asking what's up with me and that girl. I went straight for it and told him, "Why do we even have a problem? We're all here to drink beer and have fun. If you want that girl, go over there, and get her an…
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 04:38 PM
2

He's 3. 4 in Feb. I wish I could say that my wife loves me for it. If she thinks it, she's never showed/said anything. The only comment I ever received to that effect is "How is it that he listens to you and not me? I take care of him all day long, dammit!" Post RP-me has been great on my boy. Before I would lose frame and raise my voice to get compliance. Now a commanding presence is all it takes. A staring look for 5-10secs. He understands now to listen the first time or it's time for a conseq…
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 04:24 PM
9

I can agree with that. I found that I was not stressed but amused at the ridiculousness of the situation. Diffused it with some amused mastery. However, at 5'10 174 lb, I can get out classed pretty quick even with lifting and boxing regimen.
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 05:30 AM
7

It like reading the sorry state of my marriage, minus the texts. At leastthat I'maware of. My heart goes out to you bro.
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 05:13 AM
4

I agree. It's gotten me into some trouble, as well. My attitude is one of confidence in my position and frame. Other dudes pick up on it and find myself challenged. Like tonight while I was having beer with some buds.
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 05:12 AM
15

I'm sure she does think I am weak or that this change isn't permanent or I'll just Peter out like I've done before. Hence the resistance. I'll never allow myself to be that weak ever again. If not for me, for my boy. I will not send him unprepared into this feminine imperative driven society unprepared and I'm on steep learning curve. In the end, she can think what she wants. To make her the corner stone of my life was the biggest mistake I ever made. My actions will speak for me. She'll fall in…
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 01:02 AM
25

No. Since swallowing the red pill, I find that it's her that has a hard time keeping eye contact with me when engaged in a conversation or discussion. She eventually looks away or down. She's even commented that it intimidates her when I maintain eye contact and makes her feel small. All I have to do is think about that moment when I get weak and I remember why my brother brought me here in the first place.
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 12:45 AM
6

Since the red pill I've: Learned to set boundaries and stick to them. Set the frame that my time and effort are privileges, not entitlements. Do not engage in arguments. Put myself first above all else and I never ask permission to do anything. I've been BP for well over 8 years, and RP in only a couple of months. Naturally, I am still encountering lots of resistance taking control of my ship. I still fail shit tests, but each engagement makes me better at it. I, sometimes, confuse comfort tests…
/r/askTRP10/10/14 12:38 AM
90

Got on my hands and knees, cried like a bitch, and begged my wife not to leave. Lowest point in my marriage.
/r/TheRedPill10/10/14 12:16 AM
1

Married Man Sex Life primer by Athol Kay. Comfort tests build emotional security for her in the relationship. That too is your job. Be advised that passing comfort tests requires some BP tactics. As long as you maintain frame, even in an LTR, you'll be alright. LTR women require that you do both jobs to be satisfied both emotionally and physically. Never forget that you are the prize and always keep your oneitis in check. Oneitis is one way road to BP faggot.
/r/askTRP08/10/14 12:05 AM
2

Here's my take. She's bought into the person you are at this point in time. You are in improvement/maintenance mode now. I guarantee that the frequency of ST will increase to test your frame. She needs to know that she was right to feel this way about you and that you are the best man in her life. LTRs/Marriage is RP in hard mode. You're not only going to deal with simple shit tests, but you'll need to pass comfort tests now too. The moment you become a supplicating BP faggot is the moment you w…
/r/askTRP07/10/14 09:31 PM
1

theredpillroom had a interesting article regarding the female social matrix (FSM) that may shed some light.
/r/askTRP07/10/14 08:45 PM
2

If Dave's life is lead by overbearing parents, he's most certainly not "alpha." At 21, she doesn't quite understand that the fact that not only is she marrying "Dave," she's marrying his entire family too. What I would do is I'd "innocently" introduce Kim to more suitable males. She needs to come to this rationalization on her own.
/r/askTRP07/10/14 06:29 PM
2

I think you mean /r/redpillwomen/
/r/askTRP07/10/14 06:20 PM
2

why I disagree COMPLETELY with everything You're contradicting yourself when you say you disagree when you are actually benefiting from it. From what you've posted, the dynamic you speak of with your LTR BF closely follows a few TRP aspects discussed here. Can't expect you to understand since you interpret the philosophies here from your own personal context, relatively speaking.
/r/askTRP07/10/14 05:57 PM
16

I realized that SITC injects these post-feminist ideas into the minds of women, screwing up their expectations/grasp of reality. Seriously. And how is the SITC post wall, used up, heroine rewarded on her voyage of "self-discovery?" By marrying "Mr. Big" aka Mr. Alpha. She gets the guy. And they swallow it up like bon bons.
/r/TheRedPill07/10/14 05:39 PM
2

It's good that you're on the path, but really, you need to work on yourself first. The fact that you keep falling back onto old BP tendencies with women is because you are lacking something else in your own life. You use women to fill it and am disappointed when that fizzles out. Figure yourself out first, fix/improve it, then game women on more certain terms. Your terms. GL OP.
/r/askTRP07/10/14 04:29 PM
-1

I've started to use this on my wife with success. "Your insecurity is unattractive" and dismiss. The way I read it, apologies for no reason = validate me. And such conditions can become tiresome to deal with. My advice is to punish this type of behavior (excessive validation) and reward sincere apologies (maintain frame).
/r/askTRP07/10/14 04:15 PM
2

Posted this in another thread that is applicable here... Remember, control is an illusion. The choice to leave or stay is entirely up to her. And jealousy is a weak character trait that overtly displays your own insecurities about measuring up to HER standards. Set your boundaries and stick to them. That there are consequences to choices your LTR makes, generally speaking. If she respects and values you, you have nothing to worry about. However, do not be so blind to the possibility of being cuc…
/r/askTRP07/10/14 03:23 PM
2

Think of it like this. Current divorce rates are at 53%. 53%. There is a higher likelyhood of divorcing than staying married. When choosing partners, women who have high partner counts have a higher probability for divorce than their low partner count sisters. And this is just statistics on an objective study spread all across the internet. They all can't be wrong. Marriage is contract with the STATE, not your GF/Fiance/Wife, to provide for your soon-to-be-wife. And divorce will fuck you up fina…
/r/askTRP07/10/14 03:17 PM
2

That's the spirit.
/r/askTRP06/10/14 08:56 PM
65

Remember, control is an illusion. The choice to leave or stay is entirely up to her. And jealousy is a weak character trait that overtly displays your own insecurities about measuring up to HER standards. Set your boundaries and stick to them. That there are consequences to choices your LTR makes, generally speaking. If she respects and values you, you have nothing to worry about. However, do not be so blind to the possibility of being cuckolded. Be observant, but discreet and don't tip your han…
/r/askTRP06/10/14 08:00 PM
2

Looking back, I can definitely agree with this. My, now, wife did a lot of things other girls I was dating at the time did NOT do, which led to my eventual oneitis, BP supplication because I truly believe that she had a specialness only I benefited from and that NAWALT. But what matters is that I'm here now.
/r/TheRedPill06/10/14 07:54 PM
1

Geez, the timing of this post couldn't be more perfect for this phase of my life and marriage revision 2.0. As my understanding of how male/female husband/wife interpersonal relationships work and its application, I find that the lingering BP effects are still there. It's fading, but the after effects are as described and are still there. The highs are not AS high, and the lows are not AS low. I lacked the understanding why that was the case. Thanks OP.
/r/TheRedPill06/10/14 07:50 PM
1

Run. Specifically, do sprint training.
/r/askTRP06/10/14 07:03 PM
11

"Tell me who you friends are and I'll tell you who you are."
/r/TheRedPill06/10/14 06:31 PM
1

I do too. Still do, in fact. I just see too much of myself in it post RP.
/r/TheRedPill05/10/14 06:05 AM
1

It's not so funny anymore, honestly.
/r/TheRedPill03/10/14 06:02 PM
2

It's all about the personal context. When I first showed signs of becoming unplugged, my brother referred me. He didn't advise me what to do but left it to me to figure it out. As I progressed working thru the stages (I didn't even know there were stages at the time), many posts like these do offer guidance on top of the sidebar. Regarding projecting weaknesses, when you recognize it being projected, I often ask myself, do I suffer through the same weakness? If so, what do I need to do about it?…
/r/TheRedPill03/10/14 05:58 PM
42

Being bitter is part of the process of unplugging. Staying bitter is not. Being reminded of this fact is a service to your fellow man.
/r/TheRedPill03/10/14 03:30 PM
5

After reading r/adultery, the hamster has limitless potential to resolve the cognitive dissonance that plagues women. It's a scary realization for a married man.
/r/TheRedPill01/10/14 05:55 PM
1

It's not a waste of time. All this is about fixing YOURSELF. Bettering and refining YOURSELF. Whatever you don't put in work to dealing with it now will carry over into your next GF, LTR, wife. You will be in the same exact position with a different vagina.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/14 04:51 PM
2

Throw it out there to your wife. She'll either put work into the marriage or she'll leave. If she leaves, it just means that you were not valuable enough to her to hang on to and you're better off not wasting time on her. If she puts work back into the marriage, then allow yourself to accept it and give back for the sake of working on the marriage. In either case, just be the best version of yourself, to your wife or mistress. Time is your most precious commodity. Don't allow anyone to waste a s…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/14 03:32 PM
3

This is normal. Married 9 years, together total 17 years. Work on maintaining your frame. You will fail a lot, but do not give up. Do not run away/be complacent/supplicate your wife when the shit tests happen. Engage and put down the shit tests and provide comfort with the comfort tests, but MAINTAIN FRAME at all times. You will fail a lot, as well, but do not give up. The moment you show emotion during shit tests, you've already lost. Practice makes perfect. Good luck.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/14 03:23 PM
2

The game doesn't stop until you're dead. Plate. GF. LTR. Wife. It doesn't end. Only you can define what it means to have a "meaningful relationship" and find fulfillment from within.
/r/TheRedPill26/09/14 04:48 PM
1

If you've successfully established a Captain/FO dynamic, use it lead how sex is "supposed" to happen for you. Sounds like you're on the right track. Just apply to your sex life too. Playing with her pantyline is hardly "commanding" but more hinting. And game doesn't stop. If you have what you want already, then you just keep it up. The only time you don't have to game is when you're asleep or when your dead.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/14 09:08 PM
1

Then my only suggestion is to use other women to get her to respond, but I think you already know this. It's good to have you feel that you have that trust in her, but beware the hamster. Morality has nothing to do with the hamster.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/14 08:45 PM
2

Marriage, by definition, is long game. I can understand the impatience, but if "nexting" is out of the question, then your only avenues for dread are your increasing SMV and the resulting attention from other women. And don't "hope" for it. Demonstrate your value. If you already aren't, be friendly and outgoing to the point of being borderline "innocent flirty" with other women while your wife is around. She'll pick up on it, for sure. However, this method can go one of two ways, she'll respond …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/14 08:43 PM
2

Just like a plate, GF, LTR, you can't control your wife, let alone "tell" your wife to shape up, issue the dread, and not follow through. Not following through is the display of weakness that solidifies that you're full of shit and a pussy. She has to make the choice to enter your frame. Unfortunately for me, the state of my marriage was well past phase IV when I found this sub and had squandered the only real leverage I had and displayed weakness. The dread is still there, but because I had sho…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/14 07:17 PM
2

Well said. Well said indeed.
/r/TheRedPill25/09/14 03:31 PM
4

More beta orbiters mean more belly buttons to do the heavy lifting for them.
/r/askTRP24/09/14 04:03 AM
11

What matters is that you're here now.
/r/TheRedPill23/09/14 09:54 PM
2

Exactly. The frame I've established is that my time is precious, she's not entitled to it, and I will not tolerate my time being wasted in any way, especially by her. In retrospect, I know was rationalizing it to her and effectively wasted my own time. Live and learn and practice makes perfect.
/r/TheRedPill23/09/14 05:31 PM
1

"Fun" definitely wouldn't be the word I would use, but it is interesting.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/14 05:27 PM
1

Lost in translation. Heh. Good luck my friend. It's an uphill battle on an icy slope and you're wearing ice skates.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/14 05:11 PM
3

If by argue, you mean fall into her frame, then yes, don't argue. But you need to engage, be active, and maintain YOUR frame to earn, command, and retain respect from your spouse. Her word is law And for goodness sake! Her "word" is not law. If you truly believe that, have fun on your road to cuckoldsville.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/14 04:37 PM
2

Yeah, in retrospect, I shouldve went straight to the point and saved myself the trouble.
/r/TheRedPill23/09/14 04:17 PM
6

Holy cow. I never realized just how powerful the hamster is after reading that sub.
/r/TheRedPill22/09/14 09:43 PM
2

Kinda stupid, but still a much needed TRP-related victory for me. Wife was complaining why I haven't picked up avocados from Costco for her and my son when she asked me a couple of days before the weekend. (Stupid, I know.) I replied that with time constraints with work, working out, my time, and her schedule (work and workout), I pick it up on a schedule where I'm not driving our back and forth wasting time and gas. (Even longer story). Wife then escalates with stuff like I would appreciate if …
/r/TheRedPill22/09/14 09:24 PM
1

Instead of being a warning, be an example instead. Man-the-fuck-up and leave your mark. You've got your whole life ahead of you and this community to support you.
/r/TheRedPill22/09/14 07:38 PM
6

Thanks OP. Backsliding back into a BP has been a struggle for sure. Finally seeing some trp related success on my marriage. Seeing this just reinforces the fact I'm on the right track.
/r/TheRedPill21/09/14 01:43 AM
1

Take it from a guy who let the girl stay in this situation, next her. The fact that she chose to entertain this idea suggests that she's lost respect for you and it's an uphill battle for you now to get it back. The battle gets harder the longer you stay. You've experienced it already. And she's trying to manipulate you to stay because she thinks she can. If your game isn't 100% and you're still with her, be prepared for the "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" talk. When you get that, you…
/r/askTRP19/09/14 03:54 PM
2

There's a reason why romance fairy tales end at the marriage scene. That's when reality starts. OP, if you're really intent on LTR your ex, do yourself a favor and never put her needs above yours. Never, ever, ever, put up with her shit. Never feed the hamster. She's coming back for you hard and strong for the exact person you are now. To change that conflicts what your ex was buying into in the first place when she decides to be with you. She may or may not lose respect for you. That is circums…
/r/TheRedPill15/09/14 07:09 PM
1

Should be required reading for married and LTR RPers.
/r/TheRedPill15/09/14 03:31 AM
2

Archwinger's contributions (it's in here somewhere) also have had a profound impact in LTR frame maintenance.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/14 09:31 PM
3

OP, listen to this. I was in same position as you. If you allow this, you are just supplicating her "needs" that are not derived from respect above your own. If her not moving out is your "need," don't allow it. All in or all out. You need to be ready to lose EVERYTHING to get EVERYTHING you want on your terms. You can't control what she decides to do, but you can control the consequences of said actions.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/14 09:26 PM
1

The third stage really is dangerous. I teetered between stages 2, 3, and 4 for a long time before I finally able to get past it (I'm talking almost a year here). I'm glad that I've finally reached acceptance. While anger did light a fire in my ass to get started ("I'll show her who she's fucking with"), it is not what sustained me.
/r/TheRedPill09/09/14 08:03 PM
1

This is some good stuff. Thanks OP.
/r/TheRedPill08/09/14 02:46 PM
5

Btdt. Reading this, it's scary that my situation 10 years ago was so similar. Learn from me. Next her and don't look back. Married to that girl now and it's hell. Find someone that will respect your boundaries instead of shitting all over it. If she doesn't respect you now, you've got an uphill battle ahead of you. And never underestimate the power of the hamster. She can frame whatever she "did" as not cheating and even convince herself of it as truth. Your post has red flags everywhere bro. Sh…
/r/askTRP05/09/14 03:01 PM
1

You know what. You're right. Thanks OP.
/r/TheRedPill31/08/14 01:11 AM
2

Attend an SAA meeting and get some support if you behavior has become compulsory.
/r/askTRP29/08/14 10:46 PM
2

Find a new passion that helps you become a better you.
/r/askTRP29/08/14 10:43 PM
8

Because wives can be petty children. Mine did that and I've yet accept her friend request. It's been 3 years.
/r/askTRP29/08/14 02:40 AM
1

I thought it was just me, but yes, I have had similar experiences with my son. Before I would totally lose my composure and resort to tactics that my dad used that were clearly ineffective. These days, not so much.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/14 08:30 PM
1

I, too, can relate to all here. At first, she used interaction to force compliance from me. Next, it was affection. Then, intimacy. Then, sex. Then, love. Then, trust. Lastly, our son. As sad as it is to say, the current state of things is that none of it holds any more power over me now. I have reached true OI in this marriage. While I do still put in work to try and save what is left and maybe rebuild, it is for the sake of my son that I am doing this. Unfortunately, my son alone will not be e…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/14 07:34 PM
21

I strive to be this with my own son. Not gonna lie. I'm jealous, at the same time, happy for you.
/r/TheRedPill28/08/14 05:22 PM
2

My father is the atypical AF beta-ized BB dad found commonly in here, despite my mom making more money than he did throughout their marriage. He taught me a lot of things manly: work on cars, fix stuff, build stuff, etc., but I still couldn't say he was a good role model, nor could I say he taught me anything about being a man. If anything TRP has taught me more about what it means to be a man, than any person I have met over the years. He commanded respect thru violence and threat of violence. …
/r/TheRedPill28/08/14 05:20 PM
1

Thank you for sharing. This was very inspirational.
/r/TheRedPill28/08/14 03:24 PM
14

As a recovering nice guy, the entitlement thing is actually spot on...regrettably so.
/r/TheRedPill28/08/14 02:40 AM
3

I wish. She's colder than the ice queen in a blizzard on a planet made of ice.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/14 02:33 PM
5

Amen to that, brotha. Needless to say, that was a sure shock to my "reality."
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/14 07:45 PM
1

Okay. A new date is set. My goal is to increase the sexual tension to a pace that I'm comfortable with. I've started to read The Art Of Seduction. Any other suggestions? Your help is appreciated. Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/14 07:23 PM
1

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll definitely put both books in in the queue.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/14 05:39 PM
2

That's a good one. I'll be using that. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/14 03:28 AM
1

Yeah, she's a woman. Already on the path. I just finished NMMNG a couple nights ago and it really made my path more clear. Reading 48 laws of power now.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/14 03:26 AM
1

I'll give that a shot. Nothing to lose, right?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/14 02:52 AM
1

Damn. That's good. Wish I thought of that beforehand.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/14 02:52 AM
2

It's good to get some feedback. As a recovering BP nice-guy, I'm always so conscious of slipping back into beta-mindset and behavior, but wary not to cross into ass-hat territory. Just need more to get her desire flowing to knock her out of her comfort zone.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/14 09:26 PM
5

Still working out the kinks of my wife's bossy shit tests, but here is how I've handled the situations you've laid out. Hope it helps. -Comply with the order, but issue a counter-order. If she gets bossy, I start issuing commands back at her, but don't directly refuse to do what she asked me to. "Can you take out the trash?" "Sure, do you mind working on the dishes while I'm out?" I, personally, don't do this. It becomes a tit-for-tat negotiation and it doesn't garner the respect of my time. I o…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/14 09:06 PM
1

Ooooh...that's good stuff. Good stuff indeed. Thanks. Ironically, I "told" her (nicely) to come on a date with me, she accepted, and it was planned (where certain details were already on decided...steak, candlelight, sitter, etc.) on an the next coming Friday. After a couple of days, I approached her to reconfirm the date. Much to my dismay, she had no recollection of it. I was pissed, but I didn't let it show (at least, I hope not). She, then, became defensive, citing excuses about the plans no…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/14 05:36 PM
2

Awesome advice here.
/r/askTRP22/08/14 05:01 AM
1

All men fail, but only boys concede. I like this. I will make this my mantra as a recovering BP-beta nice guy.
/r/TheRedPill21/08/14 08:03 PM
1

Good point. Thanks for the insight.
/r/askTRP20/08/14 08:40 PM
1

Good point. Thanks!
/r/askTRP20/08/14 05:59 PM
2

Because I'm still new (only been a few weeks) and my new "changes" haven't taken hold yet, she and I don't exactly have a functioning Captain/XO dynamic being that I was a drunk Captain and all, but I am working up to it (hopefully). I'm know what the right thing to do is, but I suppose all newbie TRPs out there, I am meeting resistance as I work to better myself and influence my surroundings. Didn't see the whole response "I know that" is positive to my frame. Now that you point it out, it is t…
/r/askTRP20/08/14 05:59 PM
1

She and I have sat and talked about closing up her shop, much to her dismay and lashing out. In the end, she's started to look for a job. I figure that I'll have another chance to address in the near future. I suppose the good man of me knows to do the books is the right thing to do, but I really...really...really don't want to.
/r/askTRP20/08/14 05:52 PM
1

I've started to set boundaries. One of which, I will not sink anymore of my hard earned money into her business. Last time I did that, it took months to recover. I'm still recovering from it. I drew a line. Either find a job or work harder on the business and less time doting on our son.
/r/askTRP20/08/14 05:49 PM
1

Because I'm still a newborn TRP, holding my ground is new to her. The lifestyle that she's grown accustomed to, a lifestyle I provided as a BP husband, is no longer an option, unless she likes being homeless. Since I'm the sole financial provider for the household, I've allocated a weekly budget on essentials like groceries, gas, etc. Because she's grown accustomed to certain "lifestyle," she clearly grew agitated when I set boundaries on how much she can spend on what. And I agree, if she wants…
/r/askTRP20/08/14 05:46 PM
1

There is that issue. Words are just words, afterall.
/r/askTRP20/08/14 05:41 PM
1

I afraid that you might be right. She could interpret this a total beta move and feel "entitled." That part of our dynamic hasn't changed. fack.
/r/askTRP19/08/14 10:08 PM
2

I've spoken to her about it already stating that either she needed to work harder to draw more business or find a job. I reminded her that buying this house and maintaining a certain lifestyle was contingent on two household incomes, not one. I got a shit test along the lines of "don't you think I know that?" yada yada yada, but she acquiesced and is starting to look for a job. Still doesn't change the fact that I might have to suck it up and do the books for this year again one more time.
/r/askTRP19/08/14 10:06 PM
1

This. And observe who she hangs out/talks to. Her choice of friends are a reflection of her traits.
/r/askTRP19/08/14 09:22 PM
1

I guess I should be more clear about it. While the threat of divorce is not a bluff if she doesn't get her act together and remember why she and I got married, I don't really want to get divorced. My main reason, currently, is solely for my son. I do love her, but that alone is not enough anymore. Yes, things are shit, but I've accepted responsibility for my part in it when I was BP pathetic beta and aim to fix my deficiencies for myself, while at the same time, try and get my marriage back on t…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/14 03:20 PM
1

My wife and I are in pretty bad shape, so I'm running the "divorce" and "I don't need you to be happy" dread game, but I'm not overt about it. It's more like looming in the distance. This was put out many months ago and what's out there is that I have lawyer on retainer and that I'm a phone call away from serving papers. Now, that alone did not cause a shift in behavior and attitude. I had to adopt the MMSL/TRP attitude, as well, to cause a shift. It's only been a couple of weeks, but the focus …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/14 08:38 PM
1

I'll add. 37 years old. Father of 1. She was a plate when we first met. Because of her eagerness to please, I gradually developed oneitits. She was smart, funny, sexy (easily HB8), an awesome lay, and kinky. I had everything going for me. Good school, direction, intelligent, good head of my shoulders, and athletic. Upon reflection, I had a much higher SMV than her because of my potential, whereas she was still trying to discover her lot in life. We were in LTR 8 years before getting married (9 y…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/14 06:32 PM
2

Thanks to TRP, I'm on the path to kick the BP mentality. After years of misery, it only served to reinforce a thought I had already concluded to prior to TRP: There is no such thing as unconditional love. Her perception of my value is derived by what I can provide. Not who I am as a person. And I've taken a lot of butt-hurt in trying to "mold" and "fill" what my role as a "good husband" should be over the years . What I thought she wanted me to be (married 9 years now, LTR 8 before marriage). Sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/14 05:43 PM
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