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begayallday Archive

View 0 posts and 1,800 comments by begayallday on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

The other option is that some of the women who think they are in a relationship are with guys who do not think they are in a relationship. It’s probably some mix of all of the above.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 05:38 PM
1

And yet you haven’t posted any of these multiple studies.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 11:15 PM
2

No idea who that is, but even so, it’s literally one person.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 10:41 PM
1

Yeah, you’re going to have to provide me with some links or screenshots because I have literally never seen that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 10:01 PM
1

Then I’m sure you won’t have any trouble supplying data on what percentage of young women regularly consume this type of media.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 07:13 PM
1

Than one guy who only knows about his own behavior? Yes. The number of below average to average looking men who have slid into my DMs looking for a hookup is staggering. And some of the guys I have hooked up with have texted me years later, and mentioned that I was the last person they slept with.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 06:23 PM
3

Not really. None of my female friends read romance novels or read/write fan fiction. The only women I have ever known of who read romance novels are boomers. I’m pretty sure that’s another one of those industries that millennials have killed. And the niche of women who write fan fiction is vanishingly small. As for women groping men, nobody who cares about consent is ever going to defend that behavior. You say that women defend other women, yet every time I see a post about a female teacher gett…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 03:06 PM
1

Umm, yes? Do I really need to explain this to you? You are one person. You do not know how other straight males behave towards women. Not being able to get casual sex easily doesn’t make all men any more inclined to seek out a relationship. A lot of them just don’t want a relationship, even if that means not having sex often.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 02:56 PM
3

Romance novels, fan fiction, and handsy drunk women are pretty creepy. Who says they not?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 08:10 AM
1

So your experience is based on one person? Ok
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 08:05 AM
1

It was for them. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 08:04 AM
0

I’ve wound up with two different guys who had zero interest in sex, but still wanted me around for some reason. So I’m going to call bullshit on that theory.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 05:07 AM
1

I’m fine with it if I just want to get laid and never plan to see the dude again. Otherwise, nah.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 03:41 AM
9

That’s the difference. When women aren’t happy with their spouse, they leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 03:39 AM
2

I fully understand this, and I have fucked men I don’t like (let alone love) before myself. This is exactly why I say that men wanting to fuck you is less than worthless.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 03:27 AM
1

What personal experience do you have with dating straight men?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 03:01 AM
0

Didn’t answer my question, but thanks for your useless input anyway I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 03:00 AM
2

Yeah, well idk how often it works for them, but it certainly doesn’t stop average looking dudes from trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 02:59 AM
-4

Again, not what she’s saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 08:47 PM
6

She didn’t say it was all men. She said that average men will pursue hookups just as much as “Chads”. It’s absolutely true.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 08:28 PM
-2

Where did you get that she’s posting here because she’s upset about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 08:14 PM
6

That’s… her entire point? Other than the fact that she wasn’t looking for hookups. Normie dudes aren’t any more commitment minded than Chads.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 08:13 PM
3

That’s. Not. What. OP. Is. About. The older women responding to this post love their partners. Our experiences have been the exact opposite of what OP is claiming, and what you are claiming.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 03:32 PM
1

Aside from myself, all of the other women replying are currently in relationships with men. All of my prior relationships were with men. It wasn’t “true love” in my teens and 20’s. It was an absolute shit show. The guys I dated/married during that time period don’t look back on those relationships fondly either. And fwiw, many of the men agreeing with OP aren’t even in or past their 30’s, and/or haven’t had relationships at all. So what experience do they even have to be agreeing with?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 03:24 PM
1

What does that have to do with the OP?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 03:14 PM
1

My wife was my first and only girlfriend. The vast majority of my dating experience has been with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 03:10 PM
5

Yep. I dated a couple of guys who insisted that they “lost their virginity” to adult women when they were 10-12 years old and completely disagreed with me when I said they were raped. Obviously not every man who has gone through this feels the same way, but a lot of men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 07:14 AM
10

Based on the replies to this post, it doesn’t seem like an exception. When you’re younger there’s more pressure to couple up and get your family started. You’re not necessarily picking someone because they’re a good fit for you, so much as you’re picking them because they’re there and willing. The guys I dated in my teens and 20’s were not ones that I actively chose. They were just the only ones who actively pursued a relationship with me, and I wasn’t repulsed my them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 06:39 AM
19

And badly too. So many of my friends went out with each other for like a week and then broke up.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 06:00 AM
10

The relationships I had in my teens and early 20’s straight up sucked. I didn’t meet my wife until I was 39. There’s nothing cold or transactional about it. She’s my best friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 05:47 AM
4

Even if the man makes 45k and the woman makes 40k they’ll still insist that. Either that or they will insist that the women aren’t actually doing more work.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 02:34 AM
1

Why would you think I’m joking.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 08:48 PM
1

No it doesn’t? Choosing to only date one gender doesn’t make you gay. It doesn’t change who you are attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 08:45 PM
0

That last paragraph in the article really resonated with me. For me, the answer is yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 08:43 PM
2

Is your actual lived experience that every woman you have worked with has falsely accused you of… whatever the hell you were doing alluding to? If not, then you’re drawing a false equivalency. You were talking specifically about being a woman looking for casual sex. I’ve done that. I can tell you that the waters are indeed shark infested. Even if not everything swimming around is a shark.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 02:55 AM
1

You’re… not a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 02:15 AM
1

If they don’t want to have casual sex then being able to whenever they want, so it’s not that much of a benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 05:10 PM
1

Do you want to swim around looking for dolphins in shark infested waters? I don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 05:05 PM
1

Yeah, most women do not have “tons of casual sex”.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 05:04 PM
0

They’re. Still. Sharks.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 10:07 PM
5

Yeah, those would be the sharks in the water. It’s really not the good thing that you believe it to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 08:37 PM
–

No, a majority of women are on a life raft in the ocean.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 08:13 PM
0

In what way is she “getting away with it”? I’ve seen that same screenshot reposted in several other subs, and people aren’t exactly defending her.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 11:55 AM
2

I hold that opinion, and I have never gone through any of my partner’s phones or online chats or anything like that. Even when I had actual reason to not trust them. That’s invasive and disrespectful to me. My wife won’t even look through my purse for things if I ask her to. For her that crosses a line she is not comfortable with. I don have a problem with guys getting a paternity test if they have reason to suspect the child may not be theirs. But I strongly recommend not saying anything about …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 07:12 AM
2

I don’t totally disagree with OP, in that women may at times reject men for what they consider to be very minor issues. But where I think OP is wrong is that it not a minor issue for them. If I really like someone, I’m not going to be looking for reasons to dump him. That’s psychotic. It sucks when I initially like someone but over the course of a few dates I realize that it’s not going to work for me. Especially because finding people who are into me in the first place isn’t all that easy. It d…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 07:02 AM
7

Sometimes celebrities say dumb things. Oh well.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 05:51 AM
4

Yes, I realize that not every IT guy is neurodivergent. I’m saying that social awkwardness in and of itself isn’t a red flag for me. It’s pretty much a requirement because neurotypicals kind of creep me out. And yeah, not every red flag like what I described necessarily means that someone is a bad guy. He may feel very much like it was “nothing”, assuming that he is even told the reason in the first place. But if we ignore those red flags and it turns out that our initial feelings about it were …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 05:26 AM
3

Yeah, again, I’m not talking about lack of social skills or general awkwardness. I have never had a neurotypical partner, and I am not neurotypical myself either. You’re barking up the wrong tree with that. I’m talking about shit like making a sexist joke, or being rude to waitstaff, or getting shit faced on a date and acting obnoxiously, or trying to force sexual conversations even after you’ve tried to change the subject, or pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 05:10 AM
23

What is she, like 18? I don’t really expect profound truths from anyone in their teens.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 04:57 AM
4

That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about when you meet someone who seems to meet all your requirements but then they say or do something that just seems “off” that makes you uneasy. If we ignore those things and he turns out to be a bad guy, we are blamed for choosing him. If we decide not to continue dating someone over those things then we’re too picky and fickle.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 04:44 AM
1

Lol ok sure. What state do you live in that has zero tenant protections? I’m going to tell you a secret. You don’t have to treat people with cruel indifference just because you think the world works that way. Empathy is actually a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:25 AM
3

If you own the home, and your partner is living with you, then they’re legally a tenant. There are legal ways to remove someone from your property, and throwing all their shit outside and changing the locks with zero warning ain’t it. The laws don’t magically change because you’ve been fucking them. And yeah, it is cruel. I sincerely don’t understand how someone can do that to a person that they care about. My second husband is living with my wife and I currently because he needed a place to sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:00 AM
3

Glad to hear all of this is purely hypothetical for you. Hope it stays that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 08:46 PM
1

Or maybe she just never unpacked her bag after the last trip she took? Guess it doesn’t matter to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 08:42 PM
1

It can serve both functions. I’m pretty sure my wife isn’t going to up and change the locks on me, but even so I’m prepared to live in my car if need be.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 08:21 PM
2

And you’re going to leave her homeless without even asking her “what’s up with the bag?” That is why she would be right to have one.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 08:19 PM
12

Sounds like anyone unfortunate enough to wind up with you would be smart to have one then.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 07:46 PM
17

We seriously can’t win. If we don’t break it off early and it turns out we should have, then we’re accused of picking bad men and overlooking red flags due to attraction. Has it ever occurred to you that some of those “nothing” reasons might be red flags to us?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 07:37 PM
1

Sexual abuse of children very often doesn’t leave any physical evidence. A hidden camera is the way to go. That way if anything does occur, you have irrefutable proof.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 06:56 PM
2

If my kid didn’t look anything like me or their dad, you better believe I’d be getting a DNA test. And I wouldn’t fault a guy for getting a DNA test done under the same circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 06:47 PM
3

Yes, and that would be a good way of doing it “in plain sight” rather than keeping it a secret and risking your partner finding out and feeling (understandably) hurt. If you wanted to do a paternity test without having to do it in secret, you can do one of those DNA ancestry tests for the whole family. And if your partner freaks out over it and doesn’t want you doing it, there’s your clue.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 04:39 PM
43

I don’t have a problem with any dude getting a paternity test done for peace of mind, but I highly recommend that he ensure his partner never find out about it. I would say the same thing for any woman who has a “go-bag” or any other contingency plan for escaping if needed. If your partner finds out about it, he’s definitely going to tamper with it if he’s the type of person you do need to escape from. A bug out bag isn’t a bad idea in general though. There are reasons besides domestic violence …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 03:16 PM
1

Did you read the link I posted?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 04:51 AM
1

You can very easily find the link to the study in the link I posted. But as I said, the full study is behind a paywall.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 04:41 AM
1

There is a link to the study ffs. The full text is behind a paywall. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 02:49 PM
3

Nice edit up there.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 04:31 AM
2

44/bus driver/white My parents’ opinion doesn’t matter in the slightest. They don’t even know I’m married.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 03:10 AM
6

I’m sorry, you’re asking me to explain why other people are “losing their shit” based on something I haven’t even seen? How the fuck would I know? Ask them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 02:44 AM
6

So what? Marriage doesn’t make the situation less questionable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 02:17 AM
7

Younger men are much more attractive than 40 year old men too, but it’s still creepy to me when a 40 year old woman dates a 20 year old guy. Sorry ‘bout it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 01:41 AM
8

I’m happy for you. That’s not the case for everyone. Sometimes people have a preference for partners who are a lot younger than them because they have less life experience and are easier to manipulate. There is an inherent imbalance of power in age gap relationships when one party is barely a legal adult. Some people prefer that situation specifically so that power differential can be abused.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 01:38 AM
1

I’m sorry?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 01:00 AM
12

Because the reason for that particular preference is often sketchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 12:37 AM
1

I work out my “ass” because I have unstable hip joints, and when the muscles around my hip joints are weak my joints sublux. You can’t even see my ass in most of my clothes. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 11:46 PM
18

Women wear makeup in prison. Not only do they wear it but they go to a lot of trouble and effort to make it out of stuff from the commissary.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 11:41 PM
2

What, you think they waited outside the campus rapist’s club to get their participants? 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:10 PM
2

If you don’t think it concerning that about a third of 73 men admitted that shit, I don’t know what to tell you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 09:55 PM
3

Feel free to do another with a larger sample size. Even with the sample size being what it was, those results are concerning.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 09:34 PM
35

I don’t think every single age gap relationship is predatory in nature, but if a person is only willing to date people who are barely legal adults, that’s a huge red flag to me. And the genders of the people in the relationship don’t matter. A 35 year old woman with an 18 year old guy is almost even more creepy to me than the reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 07:50 PM
5

I’m saying that delivering in a hospital is already expensive enough as it is, and the child’s parents should be allowed to decline testing that they deem unnecessary to the health and well-being of their child, which a DNA test is. If they charge $40 to let the mom hold the baby (which costs the hospital nothing in overhead) then how much do you think they’re gonna charge for a DNA test?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 05:03 PM
2

So you’re going to force parents to pay for a paternity test whether they want one or not? Yeah, nobody is going to go for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 04:56 PM
2

You know that home births are a thing, right? You know that parents can opt out of most parts of the “birthing process” unless it puts the child’s life in danger, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 04:51 PM
0

Just do it and don’t say anything to her?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 04:47 PM
4

It’s hardly a unique thing though. Most men just don’t say the quiet part out loud. https://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/news/a35207/study-one-in-three-men-would-rape-if-they-could/
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 04:34 PM
–

So you want them to charge men to dump a bunch of uglyfish into the dating pool? 🤨 Kind of seems like something men could figure out how to do for free. Hell, they’re already making it worse for themselves by making a bunch of chad fish profiles.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 03:54 PM
–

Unless they think he (or she) is a huge asshole, It’s not something that concerns me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 01:59 AM
1

Lol I literally just did it. I’m not going to go through several pages of search results looking for a needle in a haystack. I even constrained the results to the last month and got literally nothing that wasn’t dudes bagging on women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 01:02 AM
–

Hold up. You think the OLD platforms are the ones that should be doing this? Why? Why would they?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 12:26 AM
0

The most recent one I saw that was actually a woman was from seven months ago. And she’s not wrong. The vast majority of posts that come up are from men talking shit about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 12:26 AM
–

Lol, I guess you don’t have much to lose by trying?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 10:05 PM
–

That sub isn’t super active, and it’s mainly about not having romantic/sexual relationships with men. Most of them are not total feminist separatists. Lol There also haven’t been any large or active female only communes since the 70’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 10:04 PM
1

It really just depends on the person. I prefer to sleep curled up like a dead bug and close to the edge of the bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 07:13 PM
3

Shouldn’t be hard for you to provide links then.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 06:58 PM
3

I’ve only seen men use that phrase here.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 06:46 PM
2

Where have you seen this exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 06:39 PM
1

I’ve seen women say that they don’t need a partner to fulfill their social needs, but I genuinely can’t say that I’ve ever seen a woman say that female friends and female friends alone fulfill all her social needs. That’s pretty oddly specific. So yeah, I’m pretty skeptical of that claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 07:54 PM
1

Links?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 05:23 PM
5

Statistically only about 50% of women earn less than their husband. About 25% earn the same, and 25% earn more.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 04:55 PM
1

I don’t recall ever seeing a woman say that in this sub or anywhere else.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 04:35 PM
4

Where have women said that? We like our friends and family too. Even the male ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 04:04 AM
1

Right. That should answer your question then.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 12:48 AM
3

I suppose that’s your call to make. Doesn’t make it okay for them to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 12:16 AM
1

Dude, I’ve done other kinds of sex work. It’s not that big of a deal. Really.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 11:47 PM
3

I’m sorry? It’s not a big deal for her to get drunk and batter him? In what universe?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 11:46 PM
1

Because the women’s liberation movement fought for women to not be confined to traditional roles only. Men generally have not fought for the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 11:45 PM
1

Like I said, you’re entitled to your opinion. I don’t find anything wrong with sex work either.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 11:33 PM
1

To you. You’re entitled to your opinion, but it’s only an opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 11:27 PM
1

It’s not free if I pay for it in another way. And if you’re not into hook ups then splitting the bill isn’t going to hurt you, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 10:59 PM
1

Because it’s always been acceptable for men to be traditional.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 09:53 PM
1

No, at least not physically.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 09:13 PM
1

I’m fine to split the bill, but it’s probably not gonna lead to a hook up for you. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 08:09 PM
2

Kinda seems like her career is over, whatever it was to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 06:36 PM
-1

No, you just so happened to only use a male celebrity as your example.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 06:10 PM
7

I keep telling him that he doesn’t deserve to be treated like that and there’s no excuse for it. I’ve told him that if he ever physically defends himself against her, it’s not gonna be a good look when the cops show up (he’s twice her size) and that he could wind up being the one who gets in trouble. I sincerely hope that he takes it to heart soon, at least before any irreversible damage is done.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 05:57 PM
7

I agree. He would rather be treated like that than be alone, and he has convinced himself that if he doesn’t have her he won’t have anyone. Which is wild because she’s like his 8th girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 05:51 PM
7

He’s basically said the second part to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 05:46 PM
2

Being a hashtagtradwife is seen as being kind of subversive, whereas being a tradhusband isn’t so much. Also social media rage bait seems like more of a woman thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 05:00 PM
1

A little bit of both? I don’t really know.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 04:42 PM
4

The only women I know who consistently go for terrible men have seriously fucked up backgrounds, like being raised in foster care, and/or childhood sexual or physical abuse. Some people are able to come back from that kind of adversity and be okay. Other people are just broken from it and aren’t able to see that, let alone change it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 03:00 PM
27

Men are just as susceptible to this. My friend has been dating this girl who is 19 years younger than him. She gets drunk and becomes violent with him, and is clearly using him to pay her rent and support her lifestyle, but no matter how many times I tell him to protect himself by leaving, he won’t listen. It’s not like he doesn’t have a choice either. I’m sure the fact that she’s young and attractive is a factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 02:45 PM
2

Many younger guys are just as immature and moronic. Younger women who aren’t have the exact same problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 02:40 PM
1

No? I used to be “straight”. Only I wasn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 02:49 AM
1

My wife was also my first girlfriend. I had boyfriends. Turns out I’m really not that much into men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 02:44 AM
–

Idk. The first kid I had a crush on at age nine was short and chubby. I’ve had a thing for guys who are short and chubby since.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 04:08 PM
1

And? I didn’t say that women never say that. I said that they don’t say that in response to a man talking about his experience with an abusive woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 01:24 PM
1

I don’t even know. He worked part time but changed jobs frequently. Pretty much all entry level low wage type jobs. I was 17 and he was 19 or 20 at the time I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/23 04:40 AM
9

This is just my experience, but I was 39 when I started dating my wife, and meeting the right person later in life is ten times better than the wrong person earlier in life. The first is not always the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/23 01:23 AM
–

Woman, married, have been married to both men and one woman. I’m willing to cover 100% of expenses, I’m just not capable of doing so most of the time. I have a number of physical disabilities that limit how long I can work and the types of work I can do. I was the sole breadwinner for a while with my first husband, and in the end it wasn’t the money that was the issue, it was the fact that he did zero housework.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 02:42 PM
15

I’m sorry, what? I only dated guys within about three years of my age when I was high school/college aged. Two of them I was with for over a year. I still had dudes as old as my dad try to hit on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 01:29 PM
2

To actually help your female partner with these unseen duties? Or at least acknowledge the constant effort they require.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 01:25 PM
1

I’ve been on this sub for a year. And I am a woman. I know what women say about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 01:22 PM
4

Both terms are regularly used to describe the same thing. And it’s not that mental load in and of itself taxes your psychological health, it’s the amount of it as well as the discrepancy between who is doing the majority of it. Too high of a mental load absolutely can impact your mental health. Ask any med student.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 04:57 AM
7

So, in your mind, having to be super careful as to what you say because you never know what’s going to set someone off into yelling and screaming at you is exactly the same as holding someone when they’re sad? That explains so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 02:57 AM
12

Did you even read it? I read every single top level comment on that thread and saw absolutely nothing referring to comforting their partner. The closest that any of them came was “having to walk on eggshells during his tantrums”. The vast majority were talking about having to remember their partner’s family’s birthdays, making appointments for their partners, reminding their partners of things they need to do constantly, and planning and organizing things.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 02:17 AM
2

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that most people who like the true crime genre aren’t into it because they think murderers are sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 01:47 AM
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That’s so vague as to be meaningless. Find me one article that uses comforting your partner as an example of emotional labor. You won’t because that not what they’re talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 01:25 AM
3

Where are you getting that from? Dealing with men’s emotions is the least of what kinds of emotional labor I have had to contribute when in long term relationships with men. And it was never something I felt was particularly burdensome. The article I linked didn’t mention anything about that either.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 12:53 AM
6

Yes, many men do have their female partners do their labor for them, but what’s a bigger issue is that they also often don’t even recognize it as a necessary contribution.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 12:28 AM
8

Lacking life experience isn’t the same as being “dumb”.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 12:24 AM
6

Yeah, I did read it, and I don’t recall anything about comforting your partner being an example of emotional labor. I also can’t seem to find one single instance of a woman complaining about having to comfort their partner anywhere online. It’s almost as though that’s a made up scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 12:19 AM
2

Ok, show me the quote.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 11:48 PM
9

I rest my case.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 11:48 PM
5

The problem is that men very often do not recognize emotional labor at all or appreciate the fact that it’s actually work that becomes exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 11:26 PM
5

Because it still doesn’t mean comforting your partner when they’re upset. Even according to my source.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 11:23 PM
5

Not sexually taking advantage. Just taking advantage period. A 20 yr old does not have the life experience that a 35 year old has, regardless of how many partners either of them have had.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 11:22 PM
30

It doesn’t matter. The reasons that people think it’s sketchy for a 35 year old to date a 20 year old have nothing to do with either party’s number of sexual partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 07:15 PM
8

Ok, let see some links.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 07:08 PM
4

The women that you made up for your made up scenario?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 06:36 PM
2

If thoughts are actions, then how can you definitively say that that person has done no bad actions?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 06:09 PM
9

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_is_emotional_labor_and_why_does_it_matter
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 06:04 PM
13

That’s not what emotional labor is.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 05:58 PM
5

I think people’s types have more to do with their formative sexual awakenings than anything else. I have no data to back that up.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 05:05 PM
1

Lesbians experience more IPV than het women (but significantly less than bisexual women) BUT a sizable percentage of them were never abused by a female partner. So to take those stats and say that they show that lesbians are more violent is absolutely wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:50 PM
0

You misunderstood.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:07 PM
0

Yeah so you did ignore the rest of my comment. Thought so.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 03:59 PM
1

Yeah, and I specifically said that it’s more appropriate to say “not all men” if someone is making generalizations about the entire gender. Did you read my whole comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 03:38 PM
2

Maybe they should limit the percentage of profiles that people can right swipe? That would help with bots and scammers too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 03:36 PM
0

I’m sorry, but how does someone talking about their experience with one or more people “traumatize others with hateful generalizations”? I feel like you missed my point entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 01:12 PM
1

Some people are just better socially one on one. I do like clubs, personally, but I get awkward as hell if someone tries to talk to me at a club.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:22 AM
2

This is very solid advice. All of it. The only thing I would add is that if you not that attractive, just do your best with whatever you have to work with. It may not be every woman’s ultimate fantasy, but you only have to find one who is into your looks. One at a time anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:20 AM
0

That’s solved pretty easily by not swiping right on women who don’t meet your baseline threshold. If that means you get fewer or zero matches, then oh well. There’s no reason at all to right swipe women you have zero attraction to. Men complain about how even ugly women get a bunch of matches on apps, but this is exactly the reason why it happens. A solid percentage of dudes will right swipe every single profile, whether they would actually ever date some of these women or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:11 AM
1

I would say don’t spend any money on it, but there is no harm in putting yourself out there on apps in addition to cold approaching . I met my last three partners on online dating platforms or apps, and the two who were dudes were very average in the looks department.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:06 AM
1

I’m totally in support of the cold approach. My best advice is to just prepare yourself for the fact that in most cases the answer will be no. Don’t take it personally. Don’t let yourself think that it’s your looks or that you’re awkward or anything else negative about yourself. Success is 85% timing and luck. Whether or not the timing is right just comes down to luck. The other 15% divided somewhat between whether or not you are attractive to her physically, and how good your game is. Your game…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 03:58 AM
5

Dude, there’s a time and a place. Saying “not all men” to someone who has experienced trauma and is talking about it is less than worthless. We know not all men do those things. But we also know that the world suddenly feels less safe to us than it did before. And it’s no different for a man who has been victimized by a woman. Let’s talk about the statement “women aren’t a monolith” since you brought it up. I haven’t seen anyone say “women are not a monolith” in response to a man talking about a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 02:21 AM
9

Yeah, but you should be able to rely on that even if you do cry. Crying is cathartic. It helps.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 01:50 AM
2

This is just my opinion, but any woman who would think less of you for having appropriate emotions is not worth keeping around. You deserve to be supported and cared for through a traumatic and difficult situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 01:48 AM
1

Yeah if you were a slave or an indentured servant (which to be fair a lot of people were).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 01:41 AM
2

I agree that men aren’t lazier or putting in less effort than the past. But many of them are 100% putting in less effort than their spouse, especially when children are involved. Men aren’t putting in less effort, maybe even more effort than most of their fathers did, but women are also putting in far more effort than their mothers did.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 01:36 AM
1

I actually agree with this. I learned most of my best moves from PUA and fuckboys I hooked up with over the years. I knew what they were doing, but it was still pretty effective. I just took it in another direction because I wanted a steady partner. Dating a bunch of people is exhausting and not all that fulfilling, at least not for a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 01:33 AM
1

I think the bar for men has always been pretty low. Certainly lower than it is now. I’m not going to go into the whole “dangerous jobs” argument, because men who had no choice but to go into dangerous jobs did so whether they got married or not. I’m saying that within the context of a relationship, expectations were low. Some of the biggest things that have changed are that it’s very difficult to support a family working one full time job, so most families are going to require two incomes. And s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 01:26 AM
3

Yeah, it’s super common. My wife even had a boyfriend briefly, despite her parents always having had supported her.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 12:38 AM
1

Yeah maybe, IDK. I know quite a few men like that, but they’ve all had trauma histories too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 11:54 PM
4

Do you think that there aren’t people who actually have to limit contact with people in their family or social circle because of their behavior? Why assume that I’m the one who’s lying?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 11:53 PM
1

That’s what I did at first, but eventually some changes were needed in the custody schedule, and in the past I had had problems with him not sticking to what we had agreed upon outside of the courts, so I had to file it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 11:29 PM
4

Right, I’m not saying it’s nothing, but the numbers are slightly less than IPV towards straight women if you exclude the male perpetrators. Victims of male perpetrators are also far more likely to have required medical attention as a result of any injuries due to the IPV. It’s an absolute myth that lesbians are more violent.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 11:28 PM
3

I can’t speak for anyone else. I don’t know why some people are less apt to try to work things out first. Maybe they just have had too much past experience where it didn’t help? I could say.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 11:25 PM
2

Yeah, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 11:24 PM
8

I didn’t say that men targeted lesbians more the an straight women? And yes, I’m referring to those IPV studies. The one conducted by the CDC several years ago was the most thorough, as most of those studies don’t ask the gender of the perpetrator. Many, if not most, lesbians have had intimate relationships with men prior to coming out.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 09:07 PM
8

Yeah, if I have repeatedly talked to someone about how their behavior hurts me and they continue to do it, I will give them “the silent treatment” as you put it. My father is especially bad about saying things that are hurtful and abusive (he’s very homophobic) I’m not going to just let him do that. The only way he seems to learn at all, even if it’s not forever, is if I stop talking to him for a while. The only other alternative is to go completely NC, but I haven’t done that because I still lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 09:05 PM
6

Yeah, I feel the same. We had joint physical custody, but he worked like six hours a week. I could have had an income imputed but I didn’t. I could have not increased my support but I didn’t. At the end of the day, that money was for my child, and she deserved to be taken care of.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 08:58 PM
12

There is actually no evidence that rates of IPV are higher in lesbian relationships. About 1/3 of lesbians who have experienced IPV have had at least one male perpetrator.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 08:02 PM
7

Yeah, my experience has not been that men work through problems in their relationships. My experience is that they just ignore the problems. I’m not just talking about my exes. I’m also talking about male family members and friends who I have had major disagreements with over their behavior. I have pretty much had to accept that they will never make an effort to change and I have to either accept it or not. In most cases I have had to put up firm boundaries in terms of what behavior I’m willing …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 08:00 PM
2

Oh yeah, they all said that it felt kinda wrong, at best.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 07:47 PM
7

Omg, same! I also filed the paperwork to have child support increased on my end when I got a better job. My kid’s dad was so useless.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 07:44 PM
4

I think the last one may be true of some lesbians, but my wife has dated a lot of other bisexuals besides me, and most of the lesbians I know (who identify as lesbian, not bisexual) have had sex with men in the past, either out of curiosity, horniness, wanting a baby, or any other reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 07:42 PM
10

Yeah, I had to file for both of my divorces as well, and in both scenarios we had been living apart for about a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 07:40 PM
2

I’ve done it while I was unemployed, but they always at least got a blowjob out of it. That seemed more than fair to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 05:26 PM
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Not everyone who is aromantic is also asexual. So I guess it’s closest to a FWB, but sometimes aro people will be in a relationship with someone who is alloromantic. I’m aromantic but allosexual and my wife is alloromantic and allosexual. I definitely love her, but it’s more like a mix of friendship and family bond, but I’m also sexually attracted to her. Aromantic people are capable of living people deeply, but it’s just kind of different.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 05:11 PM
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Many aromantic people are in relationships too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 05:06 PM
6

Yeah, you’re going to have to show me some feminist literature saying “men should still pay” and “men’s mental health doesn’t matter”. Not all women are feminists.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 02:30 AM
1

How is that the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 01:43 AM
0

Well aside from the fact that this is entirely optional.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 01:42 AM
24

I don’t care if women do so or not. I have a lot of times, but I found it to be pretty pointless. Just wound up having my time wasted because they were flattered enough to go out with me, but ultimately not interested, and never had been.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 06:42 PM
9

My ex had zero of those red flags (aside from the first one, because he was just out of high school when we met, and had only had one girlfriend before me) and he’s currently serving time for sexual assault. If a guy really wants to hide who he is, he will.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 04:33 AM
0

Almost 100% of the time. My wife has initiated a handful of times, but it’s pretty much just not her thing. I’m fine with it. She generally only turns me down if she’s super tired or not feeling well. I don’t have a super high libido, so it’s not a big deal if she’s not up for it. My last two male partners it was a dead bedroom situation. So I tried to? But I almost always got shot down.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 12:36 AM
1

It still affects me. Just not in that particular way. I have a permanent neurological disability due to the physical abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 08:22 PM
1

Where are you getting that I haven’t done that? When I was in my early 20’s I was finally correctly diagnosed (I had been seeing a therapist since I was 18) and got treatment that helped. I left the abusive relationship I was in shortly after that, and haven’t been in one since.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 07:33 PM
1

u/jay10033 I didn’t ask for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 07:30 PM
1

u/RuggedIndividualist7 I’m sorry that happened to you. Some of my extended family had foster children and they were treated as badly or worse than the bio kids. I hope you are able to get some therapy. I found it to be very helpful. But I will always be affected by it in various ways. I have a permanent neurological disability because of the abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:13 PM
1

u/buttfook I know this is a joke, but being queer in a fundamentalist religious family made me a much bigger target for physical and emotional abuse. 🙁
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:09 PM
1

u/Elegant-Scarcity4143 Those are just ones that affected me, one person. Every single woman I know has their own list.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:08 PM
5

It wasn’t one man. It wasn’t a couple of men. I’m not saying “all men” but I’m saying that it’s way too fucking many.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 04:04 AM
12

I’m sorry, but how exactly was I responsible for my own childhood abuse? How was I responsible for the severe harm that it caused me psychologically? Fuck off.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 04:03 AM
12

You cannot separate out my culture or my upbringing from the men who caused me harm. They were responsible for my culture and my upbringing. Lastly, most of the harassment I’ve experienced from strangers happened well after that. I didn’t choose any of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 03:57 AM
1

No not really because I was 16 when I met the first one and 19 when I met the second one. I was raised in an abusive household which left me with PTSD and borderline personality disorder. I was in my early 20’s when I was finally correctly diagnosed, and could get treatment that helped. I left the second relationship shortly thereafter. I do not take responsibility for the harm that men have caused me. It started in my early childhood. I had no control over that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 03:55 AM
2

Because she’s the most recent person that I married, and I still like her? 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 11:23 PM
13

I’ve only had two LTRs that contributed heavily to me not liking men much. The other men who contributed to those feelings were men in my family, men who went to our church when I was a kid, and random ass men who decided to target me for harassment for whatever reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 11:21 PM
21

Obviously? Either way, it doesn’t follow OP’s theory.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 09:03 PM
46

I’m honestly more put off of men from my handful of long term relationships than anything else. Some of them were much much worse than any of the dudes I randomly hooked up with.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 07:31 PM
4

Effexor did that pretty well for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 07:18 PM
1

I’ve gone through periods where I wasn’t looking for anything serious (or sometimes even to hook up with the same guy twice). It was usually because I was very recently out of a relationship that I ended due to an absolute lack of sex. I wanted to be single for a while before I felt ready to seriously date again, and I also wanted to finally have sex again.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 05:54 AM
2

No, women aren’t expected to be forward and make advances, but we’re kind of damned if we do. I learned the hard way that if I only date guys who approach me, I wind up with some bad dudes. But I also learned the hard way that taking an active role rather than a passive one makes most guys just wonder what’s wrong with me. And the few men who weren’t put off by that were very passive in pretty much every other way. Which made us a poor fit for one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 05:16 AM
3

The kinds of trashy people who target damaged people aren’t always trashy up front. My exes seemed ok at first.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:20 AM
1

No, I can’t say that’s ever happened to me. A lot of the time I got turned down because they were into someone more attractive than me, but never someone who was bitchy. Sometimes they were just more mentally healthy than I was. It fucking sucked but I can say that I blame them for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:15 AM
5

No, I’m implying that people with trauma and mental health issues are often targeted by abusive people (“trash” in this case). Just because trash people are attracted to you doesn’t mean you are trash.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:09 AM
0

Yeah, nobody suggested that I get screened for mental health until I was 18, or anything else like that. My friends were just as fucked up as I was. And my parents were at least half of the reason that I was how I was, and they didn’t believe in therapy. I started seeing a therapist at 18, and by the time I had an accurate diagnosis I was married with a child. Thankfully that was the last garbage person I was with.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:01 AM
6

Also, I’m not talking about bad behavior. I’m talking about being a walking target for abusive assholes and not having any clue.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:50 PM
4

You act as though people always know they’re fucked up before they start dating. I started dating in middle school. I didn’t even have an opportunity to see a therapist until I was 18.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:47 PM
4

Nah. People who are damaged through no fault of their own also attract trash.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:39 PM
1

I don’t totally understand not going to bars unless you’re like a recovering alcoholic who can’t be in that environment at all without relapsing? I don’t drink. I never had much of a tolerance to begin with, and my current medication has cut my limit down to like half a White Claw. But I still go to bars to socialize. It’s not that big of a deal. I just order a Sprite and dance.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:18 PM
2

My wife gets uncomfortable watching sex scenes in movies, and acts all shocked and horrified. You’d never know based on that how much of a past she had. My mom is a church lady and she and my dad have been married for over 45 years. They almost split up a few years after they got together because she gave him herpes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:27 AM
11

Ugly men cheat too. Ugly men abuse too.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:56 AM
2

To be fair, the vast majority of the male attention that women get is pretty worthless too. Most aren’t even pretending to want more than sex. It’s hard for me to blame women for thinking that’s the only thing that men value.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 09:06 PM
1

Fair enough. And I’m explaining why it is that a lot of women don’t think that men are into being treated the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 08:31 PM
1

I’ve never really considered any of those to be particularly romantic gestures. Those are just normal things one does for one’s partner in my world. Maybe that’s where the disconnect lies. Honestly, if you’re not getting at least half of the things on that list from a wife/girlfriend, you can do better. And by “better” I also include “not being in a relationship with someone who takes you for granted and is more or less an emotional and financial drain”.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 07:47 PM
1

Okay, so what kinds of (non-sexual) romantic gestures would you like to receive?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 07:00 PM
3

Have you ever told your partner that you enjoy being on the receiving end of romantic gestures as well? Just as men are socialized to believe that women expect those things, women are also socialized to believe that men don’t have that desire or expectation.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 06:43 PM
6

Did you not read the part of my post where I said that I really don’t care about being on the receiving end of romantic gestures? I don’t need my wife to reciprocate, and I honestly prefer that she doesn’t. I’ve told her so. If you do want to be on the receiving end of romantic gestures, then talk to your partner about it. Women grow up watching the same romcoms where romantic gestures made towards men are kind of unusual, outside of maybe sexual stuff. We don’t even have any idea as to what sor…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 06:40 PM
3

My question is: do men do these things because they want to do them, and because they enjoy making romantic gestures? Or because they feel that it’s expected of them to do so? Because I have to tell you that from the way many of the men on this sub talk about it, it seems like an absolute chore that they resent. That’s sad to me. I don’t really care about being on the receiving end of romantic gestures, but my wife lives for it. Anything from buying her a scented candle or a soda or a bunch of f…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 05:03 PM
32

I’ve been sexually assaulted several times by guys I went out with. Ranging from persisting in trying to make out with me after I’ve turned my head away, to being raped. There have also been plenty of unsolicited dick picks, and dudes trying to force the conversation into sexual territory, despite me kindly trying to change the subject. And the constant transparent attempts at manipulation and actual gaslighting. “Oh I wasn’t even trying to be sexual. There must be something wrong with you that …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 05:11 PM
4

Probably at least some of them, yeah. And if you make a catfish account as a woman, you’ll probably match with some chad fish too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 05:00 PM
2

Are these really the same women? I don’t give a shit if someone uses sex workers. Hell, I told my wife not to let me go to the strip club anymore. I have zero room to be judging anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 12:42 AM
1

I mean I don’t think it’s all that bad, but clearly I’m alone in that opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 12:35 AM
1

I didn’t get to know him that well. We just hooked up. If I had to guess I would say Asian, but all I can say for sure is that he was not white.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 11:51 PM
0

Yeah, well pardon me if I take the path of least resistance and don’t argue with them over it. 🙄 You really can’t win.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 11:25 PM
1

Well, I’ve tried on multiple occasions to get a roommate, and both men and women backed out once I gave them the address. Even my drug dealer won’t leave his car.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 11:23 PM
1

I count them getting offended as plenty of reason not to press the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 11:21 PM
3

Dude, I said that I was blocked physically from paying once. The rest of the time they’re just insulted if I insist on paying for myself. But if a woman offers and they say “no, I got it” and they just allow them to pay, then they get accused of never actually having intended on paying in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 03:44 PM
1

Not even remotely. He saw me get my card out and pushed my hand away from the POS terminal.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 02:45 PM
1

Most of them have never been studied on children.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 02:14 PM
1

Like I said, I volunteered for one that wasn’t completed because it wasn’t any more effective than what was already in the market. I have no idea if it was even published, or how I would go about looking it up since it was an unnamed investigational compound. You’ve already made up your mind, so it’s pointless to do a bunch of research when I know that you’re just going to argue with the results anyway. I have had medications make a night and day difference for me within a few days, and others d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 01:12 PM
1

I honestly don’t know any women like that. I live in a bad neighborhood too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 10:55 AM
4

Dude, I had a guy physically block me from paying for my own coffee at the counter. If women “expect” men to pay, it’s because nine times out of ten we deal with behavior like that when we try to pay for our own shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 10:25 AM
1

Studies do show that they are more effective than placebo or else they would never even be sent to the FDA for approval. I’ve participated in clinical trials for mental health medications. One of the trials I was in was ended early, and it wasn’t even because it wasn’t more effective than placebo (it was) but because it wasn’t any more effective than other drugs that were already on the market. You simply have no idea what you are talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 10:18 AM
–

It’s enough for me to know that that’s bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 02:00 AM
–

That hasn’t been my experience at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 01:33 AM
9

Yes, I’ve read books about him. He was a closeted gay dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 01:50 AM
9

John Wayne Gacy? Really? Do you know who that is? Dude was a fat creepy literal clown.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 01:43 AM
4

I have yet to hear about or see any reference to a “drag queen day” in any of the schools in the district that I work for. And I live in a state with pretty queer friendly laws, but there’s definitely a large religious population here that would make waves if they believed that were happening. I don know who is feeding you this nonsense, but they’re full of shit. It’s so hilarious to hear you talk about your pro family beliefs while also saying you think queer children should be rounded up and s…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 12:29 AM
2

You don get to define what a family is for other people. Especially when you’re on the side of those who rejected us from our natal families. You don’t know what my chosen family is “based around”. Many of them are straight. It has nothing to do with sex or even sexuality. It has to do with the people who are there for me and accept me for who I am. I also have no idea what the fuck you are going on about in your second paragraph, but I can tell you that the only reason I wasn’t molested as a ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 12:17 AM
2

BTW, it’s hilarious that you believe we are the ones who have “anti family” views, considering many of us were rejected from our biological families because of the way we were born. My chosen family is stronger and more loving than my natal family ever was.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 11:34 PM
5

Queer people have zero control over being queer. I hope you genuinely understand that. I knew when I was a little kid. I have always known. I knew before I knew that there was anyone else in the world like me. I knew before I knew there was a word to describe what I was. Also, I work for the public school system in my city. I don’t know where you’re getting your intel, but it’s laughably wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 11:28 PM
11

No, but it has nothing to do with who has it “harder”. I just like who I am and have no desire to be anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 10:26 PM
5

There’s a difference between being raised in that environment and willingly adopting it as an adult. By the time I was five or six years old I was already experiencing a great deal of shame towards my body. And yes, queer people in particular are very harmed by that kind of upbringing. Your differing opinion does nothing to change that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 09:52 PM
4

I’m sorry but did you really just use stalkers as an example of men being able to do more for love? 😑
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 08:55 PM
1

Some mental health issues are not temporary, and yeah in those situations you’ll have to take the medication for the rest of your life. There’s no cure for schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Other mental health issues can and do get better over time, and therapy and medication goes a long way towards making that happen. I had borderline personality disorder which started due to being raised in an abusive household. Getting on the right medication was a night and day difference, literally within …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 07:15 PM
7

I’m someone who grew up in that environment. And I’ve known a lot of women who ultimately rejected it and left. Most of them attached a lot of internal shame to sex and particularly the enjoyment of sex. A lot of them were lesbian/bisexual but tried to ignore those feelings because they believed it was wrong. Purity culture is incredibly damaging to a woman’s ability to understand her sexuality and enjoy sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 05:42 PM
1

Yeah, my dad was pretty Chadly, and my mom was no vestal virgin when they met.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 04:43 PM
1

I’ve participated in research on mental health medications in the past. Whether or not you have experienced any suicidal ideation or felt like you would be better off dead are some of the questions they ask you. And it’s typically been one of the first symptoms to improve for me. If a medication isn’t any more effective that placebo, or even any more effective than other drugs currently on the market, then the trial is ended early and the investigative compound is not ever brought to market. You…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 04:21 PM
3

Not as much as men do I guess? Have you been to a gay bar? It’s a very sexually charged environment. I’ve gone to lesbian bars in cities large enough to have them and it’s completely different. I also go to the gay bar in my city fairly often, and to others when I travel. Queer women are just as welcome to go to them as gay men. They just don’t go as often.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 04:13 PM
1

Yeah, I can totally accept that depression and anxiety increase one’s risk for being in an abusive relationship. The thing is that if it’s well controlled (such as via medication) that becomes less likely. At least that was my experience. Getting on medication that worked for me was the turning point in realizing that the relationship I was in wasn’t healthy, and getting the fuck out of it. The relationships I was in after that may not have been great ones, but they were not abusive. Being on me…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 04:05 PM
6

And you know this because you’ve joined all the (private) lesbian groups on Facebook and you know exactly what they talk about and do as a group? I wouldn’t say there are “so few” of them. The events I have gone to have packed a venue as much as the men at the gay bar do, and that’s just the older ones. There are at least eight at my workplace alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 03:59 PM
1

What are you basing this on. Because it’s not in any way accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 03:54 PM
10

If you literally only count lesbian bars, then sure. There aren’t a lot of lesbian bars. Okay? That doesn’t mean that lesbians don’t have a community. They do. It just doesn’t involve as many bars. They don’t really need to advertise things on the internet. We already all know each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 05:37 AM
2

Again, you keep giving these numbers but can’t seem to find a source to back that up.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 05:33 AM
2

It’s more that your replies don’t make sense. I reread them more than once.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 02:58 AM
1

Yeah, that what I thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 02:57 AM
14

There are. You just don’t know about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 02:56 AM
2

Then why even mention it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 12:41 AM
2

As far as I know there haven’t been any studies on it. If you’re aware of any, feel free to post.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 12:40 AM
2

Why do you believe that taking mental health medications makes someone dysfunctional?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 12:27 AM
4

Yeah I’m gonna need a citation for that statistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 12:24 AM
26

Just because there aren’t that many lesbian bars doesn’t mean that lesbians don’t have a strong community. It just doesn’t include bars so much. Gay male culture is much more focused on finding sex partners than lesbian culture is.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 12:18 AM
5

Arguably there are a whole lot of men who would benefit from mental health medication, but won’t take it for whatever reason. One look at men’s suicide rates vs women’s can tell us that. I would rather date someone who needs mental health treatment and gets it than someone who needs it and doesn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 11:44 PM
2

Let’s be real. A lot of guys have zero interest in dating a woman who makes a lot more than him as well. It cuts both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 11:37 PM
1

Sure bud. I’ll remember you saying that men overreport and women underreport the next time someone claims that most men and women do equal amounts of housework based on a survey that is self reported.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 04:10 PM
1

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1013624/infidelity-cheated-on-partner-population-men-france/
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 02:35 AM
-1

Lol sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 02:34 AM
1

Infidelity is France’s national past time. I’m certain there are no shortage of men benefitting from those laws as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 01:17 AM
7

Women get turned down for sex or turned down in general all the time without losing their minds over it. There are plenty of women over on r/deadbedrooms still trying to make it work. Just because you see screenshots making the rounds of women not handling rejection well, doesn’t mean that’s how most women are. You can find plenty of examples of men not handling rejection well too.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 12:37 AM
2

Such as?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 11:39 PM
1

I mean, that’s better. Or we could just keep things how they are because if you allow people to waive it easily then what is even the point? Currently people can challenge paternity pretty much any time they have a reason to believe they may not be the father. Sounds completely fine to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 11:14 PM
1

No. He had access to sex and still sexually assaulted multiple women. He was married to his second wife when someone finally reported him and he’s in prison now. If you expect wearing a red hat to keep you from being in an auto accident then you’re as dumb as someone who thinks that marrying an ugly guy means he will be loyal.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 10:16 PM
2

No no. They want the mother to pay for it. Even if she and the father are married/still together. 🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 09:32 PM
16

Any father can request a paternity test through the courts. Just like any parent not receiving child support payments from the other parent can request that the state intervene in behalf of their children. Making it mandatory is the issue, because most parents neither need nor want a paternity test, nor the bill that comes with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 09:29 PM
4

Well yeah, if you get divorced and have children then a custody and child support order is required? It’s not collected by or distributed by the state unless requested do to late or non payments though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 09:26 PM
20

In reference to point number five, if a woman wants to meet in public for a first date, then it’s very likely she doesn’t know you. How would she even begin to know whether she could trust you? If you’re having a baby with your wife, then you should definitely have an idea as to whether or not you trust her. You can certainly have a paternity test done on your kids if you want, and you can choose to be upfront about that with their mother if you want. But she has the right to decide that that’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 09:00 PM
3

Ugly guys are in no way a safer option.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 08:35 PM
2

No, it’s not the same thing. It’s way fucking worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 08:11 PM
4

Yeah I have never known an older bachelor that got shit for it from anyone except maybe his mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 12:13 AM
16

Ugly dudes can and will cheat on you too. My first husband sexually assaulted one of my friends while we were married. She didn’t tell me about it until about fifteen years after we split up. He told me that he had cheated on me with another friend of mine but I suspect he forced himself on her too now.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 06:19 PM
1

I had this problem a lot when I was younger. None of them were particularly attractive or had a lot of other options. I think it had more to to with the fact that I was severely mentally damaged from an abusive upbringing, and they weren’t. I really wanted someone who knew how to have healthy relationships, but they didn’t want me. The only people who wanted to be with me were as fucked up as I was, and that made relationships very difficult. In hindsight I probably should have just stayed singl…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 03:11 PM
5

What does that have to do with my post. I was responding to the idea that fathers should be able to choose whether or not to raise the kid even if it’s theirs. They already have this freedom.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 03:01 PM
3

Having a kid is already expensive. How is it reasonable to force them to pay for a test that they may not even want?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 02:59 PM
8

No, i wouldn’t want to give up the child I had raised but I would be very upset to know that my flesh and blood was out there and I didn’t even know them. Just because I wouldn’t want to give them up doesn’t mean I would be happy about any of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 02:00 PM
5

That’s the dumbest shit I have heard today.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 01:58 PM
2

And if they parents are married or still together and don’t want to pay for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 01:39 PM
5

How is that a “happy” mistake exactly? That’s not something any parent would want to go through. It’s only rare because they A) actually have a way to confirm whose kid it is now if there are any questions, and B) use a lot of safeguards to make sure it doesn’t happen, precisely because it used to be a bigger problem. Anyway, that may not be something a mother had to realistically worry about much these days, but she does have to worry about whether her boyfriend/husband has any other kids out t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 01:39 PM
6

DNA tests aren’t free. So who has to pay for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 11:30 AM
8

Men can already choose whether or not they want to be actively involved in their child’s life. They have no legal obligation to be a dad, only to provide material support relative to their income.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 11:29 AM
12

You can file for divorce and still request joint physical custody. People do it all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 11:23 AM
6

You know that babies do accidentally get switched at the hospital, right? It’s very rare anymore because they take a lot of measures to minimize the possibility, but the reason they take those measures is because parents have been given the wrong baby sometimes in the past. Newborns don’t tend to have a lot of obvious distinguishing features from one another. It’s absolutely something that crossed my mind once or twice with my child. But the older they got, the more it was obvious just by lookin…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 11:18 AM
1

The fuck are you talking about? Do you seriously think that I had any control over getting career ending injuries? I suppose I could have just let my family member die on the fucking streets instead of taking him in and supporting him, but then y’all would say it’s proof that women are heartless and only care about themselves. We. Can’t. Win.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 02:15 PM
1

I’m married to another woman and we have no savings either. There are a lot of reasons for it (mainly the fact that I had to leave a very good paying career because of injuries, and my new job pays significantly less, and also because we are currently caring for a family member who has very serious health issues). Expecting a man to take care of us is not one of those reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 06:38 AM
1

I’ve only had one relationship with a college educated guy, although the other two took some college classes during the time we were together. There wasn’t a particularly large difference to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 04:28 AM
10

Not according to US time use statistics. Stay at home fathers, on average, spend fewer hours on childcare than their wives/partners who are working full time. And no, I didn’t pull that shit when I was the one staying home, even though I fucking hated not working. We had a young child at the time and he neglected her.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 07:58 AM
3

Stay at home mothers are much more likely to experience depression and a sense of a loss of purpose after their kids all leave home. Yes, in theory a stay at home mother can have a life outside of her kids, but a lot of them don’t. That’s not something I ever dealt with. Being a parent is overwhelming and thankless for a lot of us. I stayed home for about a year when my kid was small, and it sucked. Housework sucks. Being the only person doing housework sucks. Some jobs are bullshit. Some are in…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 09:35 PM
2

At this point in my life I don’t think any man can compete with what women have to offer. TG I’m not straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 09:18 PM
1

Definitely better than we get in the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 09:05 PM
3

Mindset has a lot to do with it. I was unemployed for a while due to health problems and I fucking hated it. Even when I was a little kid I never wanted to just stay at home and raise kids. Even if you choose to do that, your kids grow up and move out eventually. If you have no purpose or identity outside of that, then what are you going to do with the rest of your life?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 07:48 PM
2

So it’s paid then?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 07:41 PM
1

And?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 07:15 PM
1

I worked in the skilled service industry for 17 years, and I would still be doing it if I were physically able to. I loved it. I recently got a CDL and drive a bus now, and I love that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 07:08 PM
4

How hard is it to find a new job? I had a job a few months ago that I wasn’t happy with (they weren’t obeying the state laws, and when reported they falsified emails and other documents which no one I worked with had ever received). It took me a week to find another job that’s a lot better in every way. My supervisors are all very supportive and kind. Even my previous job I had really enjoyed. I just didn’t trust anyone in corporate anymore. I know people pushing the trad agenda want to believe …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 07:03 PM
1

A year off?! I got three days.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 06:56 PM
10

Whether or not they participate isn’t the issue. It the degree to which they participate and in what capacity.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 06:54 PM
22

Tried that for a while. What actually happened was I worked all day and came home and still had to do everything at home. He basically just played video games all day and only made food for himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 06:52 PM
2

Do you think we just kidnap a man and force him to pay the rent or what?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 04:29 PM
6

TIL lesbians just don’t pay their bills. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 03:35 PM
4

Do you think only office jobs exist or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 03:33 PM
7

Having your own source of income gives you options. I would never want my daughter to be completely financially dependent on someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 03:30 PM
–

Women are a lot more concerned with coming off as creepy or predatory with other women than men are.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 02:31 AM
-1

I see short, obese, and generally unkempt men out in public with their wives or girlfriends all the time. And by “short” I mean close to my height and I’m 5’2”.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 09:54 PM
8

They can, and I think that may be one of the biggest thing that separates men who are successful with women from those who aren’t. Having the looks doesn’t hurt, but knowing how to communicate is much more important IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 09:41 PM
5

Lesbians hate communicating their interest directly too. It’s a whole meme within the lesbian community. That said, women also understand these forms of indirect communication better than men do, and are a little more likely to recognize indicators of interest from other women when they happen. Though they’re also more prone to questioning it and worrying that they’re just misreading signals. Lesbians and bisexual women who are willing to make the first moves and be overt about it tend to do ver…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 09:25 PM
1

They’re all older. Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 05:11 PM
6

I can’t speak for anyone else, but my standards have very little to do with appearance, income, or status. I have also turned down guys who otherwise did meet my standards because I was not at a point in my life where I was wanting to date anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 05:09 PM
7

They’re clearly better at it than a man who thinks the only possible reason a fat woman might turn him down is if her standards are unrealistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 03:46 PM
5

It can take a long time to find someone whose values align with yours. In the meantime, you have to do what you have to do, and if you have a high sex drive then years of celibacy ain’t it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 03:43 PM
4

Most of the time people who have a very high sex drive are not content to wait until they get married to relieve themselves with someone else’s body. Most of the time they’ll wind up doing that with the first person who offers.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 02:11 PM
7

Older women are not saying that old men shouldn’t date young women out of jealousy ffs. We’re saying that because we were all younger women at some point who had older guys creeping on us and we know that they are bad news.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 01:57 PM
12

Do you think someone is obligated to have sex with you if they are doing worse than you in every aspect of life? Did it ever occur to you that the 5’2” 200 lb woman might be turning down a guy who is “better” than her because she knows he is just looking for an easy lay and thinks she will provide that?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 01:55 PM
2

I think it’s natural to want to say something supportive to someone dealing with that. I also think that while, yes, people ultimately have a right to decide who they will and won’t date, that doesn’t mean that some of those reasons aren’t shallow/racist.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 02:48 PM
1

Men certainly were not forgiving of my physical flaws, but women were.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 12:20 PM
2

I was his second girlfriend at the time, and his first girlfriend was very religious, so that was the case for him until we started dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 12:18 PM
9

I think the equivalent of a vibrator is … a Fleshlight? Is it really that big of a deal if a guy has a Fleshlight? My ex had one while we were dating. He showed it to me. I spent very little time thinking about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 02:12 AM
–

What? Really? I don’t think I had any fewer than three crushes at a time in high school. And if one of them wasn’t interested I was full on devastated by it. They were never interested. The only one who was interested wound up moving away, and we hooked up decades later and then he rejected me after. We’re still friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 07:47 PM
–

Yeah I have. A couple of times. One I was friends with in high school and we stayed in touch over the years. We both had had a thing for each other back then but never acted on it, and then he moved away. I went to where he was living at for a work thing. We hooked up. I said something about moving closer to him. He basically said he didn’t think that we were compatible for a relationship. Which sucked, but I think he was probably right. We are still good friends. I have gone to visit him since …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 07:45 PM
1

I think it has a lot more to do with values changing as you mature. Idk if men go through the same thing, but the more you find yourself with partners who don’t have aligned values, and the more you experience the serious downsides of that, the more you will come to prioritize common values over superficial things. For a lot of women that will mean not caring about things like height, looks, and status as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 07:16 PM
1

It’s less that we’re super picky, and more that we just get annoyed with it entirely. A lot of men think they’re really slick, but in reality their intentions are transparent and they’re just being manipulative. It’s much worse online than it is in person. They don’t even have to know what you look like to come at you with the same tired annoying bullshit. As long as they think you might have a vagina. Most types of male attention are worse than being low value. It’s a negative value.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 06:53 PM
2

In my past experience with men who I lived within relationships, it went way beyond being “a little messy”. It went into severely unhygienic territory. Like dirty dishes in every room, food scraps and crumbs everywhere, dirty clothes everywhere, not cleaning up messes left by pets (not my pets either) or scooping/changing out the litter box. If I wanted those things done then I either had to do them myself or deal with having constant arguments about it. They tried to tell me the same thing, tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 05:41 PM
4

Why is “swimming in pussy” the bar? You don’t really need a new hookup every week, do you? You just need one person who thinks you’re pretty great. I’m not a great catch in any way, shape or form. I’m disabled, poor, short, kind of fat, unattractive face, neurodivergent. But it was so much easier for me to find a woman who was totally into me than it was to find a man. Men always expected me to put a ton of effort into changing my appearance, do all of the domestic labor, and/or mask my neurodiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 05:00 PM
2

Never said that?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:49 PM
0

How do you know that you like them? Well not thinking they’re ugly and feeling resentful of having to make an effort is a start.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:47 PM
1

No, I just had to be the one trying to make sure the person I was going on a date with wasn’t going to rape/kill me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:46 PM
0

If you’re talking about online dating sure, but even then, if they think the women they are putting in this effort for are “ugly” then why are they even talking to them in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 12:57 PM
0

I hated having to take the passive role in dating. I had to just wait for men to show interest, and hope they weren’t one of the psycho ones. Taking a more active role with men never worked either.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 12:32 PM
0

When I started dating women exclusively, and got to switch from a mostly passive role to the active role in dating, I found it to be much more enjoyable. Taking an active role with men never worked for me. I often found myself having to stop myself from putting in too much of the effort, because doing so always seemed to backfire. Men say they want women to pursue them but my experience tells me that’s wrong. Because when you actually do it, they lose interest or think there is something wrong w…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 12:30 PM
-1

If men are the ones who always have to make the first move, then don’t make moves on anyone you don’t actually like.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 12:12 PM
–

The only time I got into a stranger’s car, it was an Isetta 600, and the owner was like 95. And I asked if I could sit in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 01:14 AM
–

Can confirm. I finally made it and it’s the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 01:04 AM
3

All my straight friends are with fat guys. Not sure why you think women won’t date them. Maybe we’re just less likely to fetishize guys for being fat.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 09:25 PM
1

My last two male exes both claimed that I would have rejected them when I was younger. Then took it back when they met the guys I dated before them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 02:16 PM
3

Yeah, well maybe the same thing happened in Barbieland. Maybe the Ken that they selected to run just wasn’t electable enough. You’re making this way deeper than it actually is. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 05:03 AM
1

True, Cotton Hill was my favorite. And he was a hideous human being. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 05:01 AM
2

Did you see the movie?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 03:00 AM
3

So, your issue with the movie is that they didn’t explicitly say that they allowed Kens to have those exact same positions? Ok. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 03:00 AM
3

Also this is what happens with the Kens at the end: “The Barbies eventually overthrow the Kendom and reach a detente with the Kens. They will give the Kens as much power in Barbieland as women have in the real world. Just a few judgeships, not half of them. And cabinet positions, but not the presidency.” So if that’s subserviency to you, then I guess you must feel like women are currently subservient in the “real world.”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 01:52 AM
2

https://screenrant.com/barbie-movie-ken-villain-patriarchy-twist/ This is a reasonably good explanation of the ending. Ken had his own complete character arc. It would be hard not to notice it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 01:36 AM
3

Okay sure. Then why is the Ken merch some of the most popular? If you think Ken was the villain then you missed the point. The Kens were also not made subservient again at the end of the movie.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 12:36 AM
1

They are not attractive to me personally, but I would call them objectively average. Most of them are overweight/obese with an alright looking face. Not hideous, not Chad, just average.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 12:15 AM
5

Did we watch the same movie? Ken is one of the most likable characters.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 11:07 PM
10

Not to mention Luanne and DeeDee, who are both the full on dumb blonde stereotype, and Nancy who got pregnant by another man. And Minh who is catty and shrill. I fucking love that show, but they weren’t very charitable towards most of the female characters.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 11:05 PM
2

Francine Smith is the only character on that show who is dumber than Stan. See also, Peggy Hill and Luanne Platter. I haven’t watched enough of the other shows to comment on their characters.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 10:45 PM
1

Wtf are you even talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 04:31 PM
3

Yeah okay, so how many women out of billions of women in the world sent him letters? How many women have ever corresponded with any male prisoner? Let’s see some numbers.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 03:24 AM
5

Right, so it’s only 90% of the women I don’t know who write fan mail to serial killers. I don’t see you putting up any evidence that I’m incorrect.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 12:57 AM
6

Wtf are you talking about “times have changed”? OP used Ted Bundy as an example. He got the death penalty in 1989. There aren’t a whole lot of mega famous serial killers still around and kicking for women to write fan mail to these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 10:42 PM
17

Because of all the women I have ever known, exactly zero have written letters to a serial killer? Only one ever sent letters to someone in prison period, and she wasn’t into him at all. It was more of an edgy thing to upset her parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 07:51 PM
8

Yes. Yes they could.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 07:45 PM
26

We’re talking about a tiny tiny minority of all women. It’s not disingenuous when it’s literally true.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 06:11 PM
2

Charles Manson had a lot of women writing letters to him too, and he was 5’2” with crazy eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 05:54 PM
3

Any kind of relationship at all? Yes, I think that would qualify.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 03:15 PM
1

You weren’t in the bedroom with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 09:48 AM
1

Where do you get the idea that women only do certain sexual acts with hook ups? Those kinds of activities require a level of trust not usually present in a one night stand. All of the wild crazy sexual acts that I did which I no longer have a desire to do were done with long term serious partners or a spouse.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 09:36 AM
15

I didn’t say anything about choosing not to engage with men entirely. Do you think that people should be obligated to have sexual/romantic relationships with anyone? Do you extend that to yourself? Do you feel that you do not have the ultimate right to decide whether or not to have those kinds of relationships at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 09:32 AM
12

Do you think this kind of behavior from fathers doesn’t also negatively affect women? As someone who was raised in that kind of environment, I can assure you that it very much does. Purity culture harms everyone it touches.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 09:28 AM
16

This kind of social conditioning is even worse than just spreading the idea that men are dangerous. It also heavily implies that women don’t have their own agency, and that even if she does something like have consensual sex, the boy/man has done something wrong to her. And that the father somehow owns her sexuality, which is fucking gross. Even if done in a joking manner, this practice needs to stop. It’s harmful to men and women alike.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 03:41 AM
71

The poison strawberry/candy/pancake/whatever analogy has also been used to promote bigotry against people of certain races/ethnic backgrounds. So yeah, I think that constitutes misandry. It’s not functionally any different. I’m gonna say it though. Choosing not to have intimate relationships with men due to the personal risk involved is not misandry. Choosing not to have intimate relationships with women for the same reasons isn’t misogyny either. The right of the individual to decide if and wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 03:34 AM
1

You can have a family without a husband. If you just want someone to knock you up, it’s shockingly easy. A lot of guys will try anything to weasel out of using a condom. It may be more difficult to be a single mother, but I did it and it was honestly so much easier than being with my child’s completely useless father. My kid turned out okay, in spite of their father being an absolute garbage human being in every sense. If I had it to do over again I would have ghosted him the moment I got a posi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 01:10 AM
1

I may be totally annoyed by it sometimes, but I genuinely don’t fault any guy for trying. My only asks are that he is mindful of the setting (like maybe don’t approach a woman at night when she is alone and there aren’t a lot of people around or when she’s waiting for the bus and can’t really just leave) and to take no for an answer. If she says no, walk away. If she says no in a rude or aggressive manner, still just walk away. If she says no but is really nice about it, then respond in kind and…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 01:05 AM
–

You can ask all you like, I just don’t understand what you are trying to prove by asking.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 09:04 PM
12

Umm. I’m still friends with some men that I went to school with 25-30 years ago. How do they “not count”? I also have male friends that I have met through mutual friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 12:13 PM
1

Simple answer is because when men do it they are respected more. When women do it, we’re just seen as being difficult. Ask me how I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 12:53 AM
1

Men do not expect women to physically protect them, and most don even want a woman to do so. Women have a completely different set of expectations to fulfill. Regardless, it seems like very few men on this sub are actually fulfilling this supposed expectation anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 12:23 AM
1

Yes, women are more likely to be in poverty after divorce/separation. https://theconversation.com/womens-probability-of-being-in-poverty-more-than-doubles-after-separation-181345#:~:text=The%20study%20found%20that%20in,9%20to%2022%20percentage%20points). So, I don’t know how your link got their numbers, but it doesn’t seem be replicable across the board at least. This link goes into very great detail about this issue, and their numbers are different. It seems that while it’s possible that more o…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 12:15 AM
1

You’re going to have to show me that data, because the studies I have seen include both paid an unpaid labor, and not once have I seen one saying that men work more hours. Men also spend more hours on leisure activities as well. I also did not say that marriage was causing poverty. If you are going to argue with someone then at least bother reading their post.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 08:30 PM
1

u/arvada14 When you are constantly fucking exhausted and have zero time to yourself because you spend 40+ hours at work, and then come home and do 100% of the childcare/cooking/cleaning/laundry/grocery shopping/etc. while your partner sits on their ass, how would that be your fault exactly? If you ask and ask and ask for help, and nothing changes, how is that your fault exactly? Children do best when they don’t live with parents who hate each other. Staying together for the kids is an awful idea…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 05:17 PM
1

Lesbians are similar to hetero men in terms of how many new sex partners they have within the same period of time. And it’s harder for bi women to get lesbian partners because a good percentage of lesbians specifically avoid us. Also, wtf, how many super tall lesbians do you think there even are? I’ve never had a female partner taller than 5’6” and most were my height (5’2”).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 04:59 PM
2

Sorry, I worded that wrong. What I meant was that women have different expectations coming from men. Men don’t expect women to protect them, and most of the time don’t even want women to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 04:54 PM
5

You missed the point because men on this sub often talk about how they are expected to physically protect women. Women have other societal expectations from/towards men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 11:51 AM
3

Like others, I have called emergency services for men who were unconscious/unresponsive on the street on multiple occasions. And I called 911 for a homeless guy when he got into a fight with another (possibly homeless) guy, who started beating him up. Physically intervening wouldn’t have been a safe option, especially because I had my kid with me, though. And I recently offered a male friend of mine a place to stay when his gf started getting violent with him, and told him that he doesn’t deserv…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 11:44 AM
2

Not as much as you would think. I used all the exact same fuckboy shit that used to work on me in order to get my wife. The only difference was that I just kept it up even after I had her instead of ghosting.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 03:02 AM
9

Y’all won’t listen to bi women either. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 01:19 AM
1

I have only had a couple of casual partners evolve into more, and I think the difference with both of them was that while I saw it as casual, they did not. They were persistent and there was nothing about them at the time that threw up red flags, so I was open to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 02:14 PM
–

Men were equally represented and involved in the early stages of fat acceptance. I think it’s less that men thought the body positivity movement was “not for them” and more that they didn’t want to be associated with something seen as feminine. Most of the men who were and are involved were queer. But they got plenty of support from the women involved in the movement either way. You can go on Instagram right now and find men using body positivity hashtags. Men have never been excluded.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 11:46 AM
0

Why is it less hurtful if it’s someone you are emotionally invested in?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 11:41 AM
1

When you see someone as lesser and basically only good for a short term fling, there little to no risk of being hurt if they ghost you after, because you were going to ghost them after as well. If it’s someone you actually like and have feelings for, having sex too early carries a lot more emotional risk. What I don’t understand is why men aren’t more careful once their feelings are at stake?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 10:01 AM
5

I think OP has mentioned it on this sub before? I remember seeing the story brought up in comments here recently.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 09:51 AM
–

Again, who was trying to remove her livelihood and how? I’ve seen zero mention of that in any of the articles about this. Last time I checked there have been at least as many vocal critics of Lizzo as there have been people supporting her. And the biggest difference is that while Jillian was called out for what she said, Lizzo has primarily been called out for merely existing and having the audacity to say she loves herself. At least until recent allegations came out and lawsuits were filed agai…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 09:39 AM
3

How was she “cancelled” exactly? Did she lose any jobs? Did people issue personal threats against her? What happened exactly? People disagreed with her on Twitter? 🙄 It’s completely inappropriate to make comments about a stranger’s health btw. And that was hardly the first time she has been vocally critical of body positivity. That’s just her standard MO.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 02:46 AM
0

Except they’re not selfless. If they were then they would actually be carrying their weight with childcare and domestic duties. No matter how you slice it, women are statistically doing more labor and getting less leisure time than their spouses. Men want to be married and have a family. That’s it. That’s not selfless. It’s selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 02:08 AM
-1

If you want that then guess what? You’re going to have to actually put in some effort and deal with people being mean to you. Stop expecting other marginalized communities to put in effort for you where you are unwilling to do so. Never underestimate a man’s belief that he should be the center of everyone’s universe. Jesus.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 01:47 AM
0

Seems like a bad decision on their part. I can’t have a lot of respect for it either. If you’re not happy and you’re not getting your needs met, then shit or get off the pot. Forcing your wife, who is just as unhappy, to do all the legwork seems like just another way to shove off all the unpleasant work to women, yet again. Women are significantly more likely to experience poverty after divorce than men, yet they are more likely to file. So don’t even give me “money” as an excuse. Just admit tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 01:45 AM
0

Fat women have kept up the fat acceptance and body positivity movements for decades, despite the fact that the added visibility has invited even more harassment towards those who are publicly involved or even in favor. So it’s pretty funny to hear you whining about giving up on it in less than five years time. Any social movement asking for less discrimination is going to face a whole lot of dissent for a while before it gains any traction. It seems like men just want this shit handed to them wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 01:30 AM
5

Are we just pretending that there aren’t also a shit ton of people calling Lizzo every disgusting name in the book, and facing little to no backlash over it? What kind of dreamworld are you living in, because it sure doesn’t resemble reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 01:25 AM
2

Well my exes and I had no kids or money to begin with, except my first husband (We had a kid together whom he never helped care for, and I took nothing with me when I left besides a suitcase full of clothing. I still requested shared physical custody when I filed and he managed to fuck that up too.) They basically just didn’t want to lose out on having a live in maid who paid half the rent. I’m not going to sit here and act like I never once did anything wrong within my past relationships. Howev…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 01:21 AM
2

My point is that people who are happy in their relationship do not file for divorce. If men are not filing nearly as often, then it’s reasonable to conclude that a higher percentage of them are okay with how things are going. Or at least okay enough to not want to split up. I’ve been married twice before, plus one additional long term relationship, and all three were men. All three were Pikachu shocked when I told them I was leaving, despite the fact that I had communicated with all of them ad n…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 12:21 AM
6

Don’t women initiate like 3/4 of divorces though? You don’t usually file for divorce if you think you’re the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 09:08 PM
3

They weren’t that rare. They had special boarding homes that young women were sent away to until the children were born so that the neighbors never knew. Then the kids were sent to orphanages or adopted out.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:36 PM
13

Regular guys can be deeply disappointing as well. You don’t have to be a sociopathic asshole to be a very underwhelming partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:30 PM
1

I’ve never expected much out of a fuckboy. It’s not that hard to tell who they are once you have been burned a few times. I’ve had more issues with the “average Joes” than the fuckboys. Being “pumped and dumped” is far from the worst thing a guy can do to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:28 PM
–

Why would you assume they are full of shit? Men value different things in other men than women do. Women value different things in other women than men do as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:40 PM
7

No, they just think we are. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:50 AM
3

Ummm, I think the fact that he was a several time divorcee and didn’t feel the need to mention that fact would be far more of an issue for me than how much he paid for the weddings. I don’t give a shit about big weddings or expensive anything. My wife and I got married in Vegas using a chapel wedding package I found on Groupon and we wore clothes we already had. We spent a few days camping afterwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:41 AM
2

You can compromise if the person with the lower libido is willing to do so. I’m not averse to having sex. I just don’t really think about it much. So I try to initiate things with my wife on a regular basis, because I have been on the other end of that situation and it sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 06:43 PM
–

What’s your point? Whether or not you like the show is irrelevant. Anything by that was in the air for a decade had no shortage of viewers. Where did I say that I thought it was a good show? OP claimed that female promiscuity is never used as the butt of a joke. I would have to wonder if they have consumed any media from the last 20-30 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 01:10 PM
–

Doesn’t change the fact that it was on the air for nearly a decade and you couldn’t get through a single episode with some zinger from Betty White putting down one of the other characters’ promiscuity. That’s just the first example that came to mind, but hardly the only one. Sure, it wouldn’t be made now, but neither would The 40 Year Old Virgin, which is nearly two decades old. Female promiscuity has never been portrayed as a positive or even neutral thing in the media, out side of maybe the co…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 12:15 PM
2

This may not be a popular take, but I think in cases of mismatched libido, you are better off ending the relationship. Unless the LL partner is able and willing to make an effort to meet you halfway and you as the HL partner are happy with that compromise. But in those cases it not much of a problem anyway. Most of the time, if this is a problem then there is truly no solution to it that can come from the person with the higher libido. It has to be something the LL wants and is proactive about. …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 05:31 AM
1

Sydney, but they’re mostly gay I think. Idk about women but I’ve seen a lot of women in my current city of residence who are my type of hot, but not most men’s idea of hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 05:19 AM
8

People tend to enjoy talking about themselves and their own interests. This is a pretty common feature among humans. Gender is pretty irrelevant here. I have certain subjects I won’t allow myself to talk about with people, especially if I don’t know them well, because I will keep talking about them for way longer than anyone else is actually interested. Having super niche interests is isolating, for whatever that’s worth. I can’t even find active communities online, and one of the annual events …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 05:15 AM
–

I assure you that female promiscuity has been played for laughs for longer than I have been alive. Someone has never seen The Golden Girls and it shows.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 04:56 AM
–

Or… here’s a thought… not everyone agrees with you about what makes someone worth dating, or even what makes someone “hot”.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 10:48 PM
–

Well if you’re rage posting about it on social media, that’s kind of a big indicator that you, as a person, may suck.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 10:40 PM
–

Or even they like em just fine but they’re just not putting themselves on the market at that period in time. I’ve rejected dudes that I was very attracted to for the sole reason that I was already dating someone else, and I don’t like to spin plates on someone I genuinely am interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 10:37 PM
–

There is always a reason for rejecting someone. Whether or not it’s a valid reason to you is the question. Or maybe whether or not the reason given is the real reason. But there is always a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 10:35 PM
1

The point I’m trying to make is that women who are doing that for “sexual liberation” reasons are not feeling like they are being used. When women feel used by casual sex they tend to just not do it. They are two distinctly different groups of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 08:33 PM
1

I guess what I’m trying to say is that women who are intentionally having a lot of casual sex are not usually doing so in the hopes of getting a long term relationship out of it. Maybe some do, but it probably doesn’t take them long to realize that’s not the best way to go about it. As someone who used to engage in a lot of hookups with guys, I was using them just as much as they were using me. Sometimes I had a hard time getting rid of them afterwards, which was super annoying. I definitely was…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 08:07 PM
5

Sorry, I have no idea what you mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 07:13 PM
7

65% of women and 53% of men. And let’s not forget that not everyone wants to actually act on every fantasy they have. But go on. Edit: half of the women surveyed said that submission fantasies are not something they want to act on in real life. So roughly a third of women are actually wanting to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 05:21 PM
7

Sigh. Women are only into submissive power dynamics if that’s something they enjoy doing in the first place. If you find that most of your sex partners are into dominance and submission, then it’s unlikely you are being subtle about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 04:57 PM
2

It does. You just clearly do not understand consent. There is a vast difference between consensual power play dynamics and someone doing those things to you without your consent. Submission does fucking nothing at all for me because I’m not into it and it is not something I give consent to. See how that works?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 04:05 PM
8

The difference is consent. It’s always consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 03:33 PM
6

Women are capable of having sex without involving their feelings as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 03:32 PM
1

And your dad chose her.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 10:23 PM
–

Don’t hurt yourself moving those goalposts.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 10:23 PM
19

Same reason that anyone chooses to date. Because they want companionship. My child was abused by their bio father and step mother btw. And had a step father who showed up at his sentencing hearing in support of my child (the state didn’t have enough evidence against the step mother to press charges). Edit: that study you referred to does not seem to make any distinction regarding the gender of the abuser, or even if the perpetrator is their biological parent or not. Sometimes bio fathers are mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 09:29 PM
24

I feel like I read somewhere that at least half of single moms were married or cohabiting with the father of their kid(s) at the time they gave birth. I forgot the actual number but it was at least half. Those moms are not rare exceptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 09:12 PM
17

It’s no more “poor decision making” than having had a long term relationship with anyone in the past whom you are no longer with. Not all relationships work out. Sometimes things go fine until you have a kid together, vs someone choosing to have a baby while in a bad relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 09:10 PM
3

Well my exes would have had to first call their parents in order for me to badger them to get off the phone. On the few occasions they did call I was the one who badgered them into doing so. Maybe your dad was just bad at choosing women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 09:05 PM
0

That is literally what they say about it. There have been numerous posts in lesbian subreddits saying the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 09:02 PM
5

Men die younger. Past a certain age, there just aren’t that many single men left.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 03:59 PM
3

You’re missing what they were saying. Even if the kids belong to you, you still need to come second after your kids. That’s how it is and how it should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 03:56 PM
1

The recurring theme that I have heard from them is that they know how gross it feels to be objectified by men, and they are scared of making someone feel that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 10:36 AM
10

This is such bullshit. Both of my ex husbands didn’t give a crap about staying in touch with their families. I was the one reminding them to call their parents on holidays and birthdays. I was the one shopping for gifts for their family members. When my second husband was lying unconscious in the ICU earlier this year, I contacted his aunt and his sister and they told me they hadn’t heard from him in years. His sister had rights of medical power of attorney as his next of kin and she told me tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 10:34 AM
2

My chronically single friends are mostly lesbians who either aren’t particularly looking for a relationship or are terrified of talking to women. I have one chronically single male friend, and he has never really been a relationship type person as long as I have known him (28 years currently). All my straight (and one bisexual) female friends are either married or in a long term cohabiting relationship. And they guys they are with are all pretty mid and not high earning at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 03:08 AM
5

None of this is shocking to me. At no point have I ever wanted to be the less attractive one in a relationship. I don’t think i could ever not feel insecure in a relationship with a really attractive guy. My wife is more attractive than me, but for some reason that doesn’t bother me. Probably because she still thinks I’m really hot for some reason. I worry more about keeping her happy and feeling loved than I do looking more attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 12:25 AM
4

I see that your view has been changed. I just wanted to point out that there was recently a post on r/amiwrong from a 34 yr old woman who met an 18 yr old guy at a bar/club/something and they had been texting and she wanted to hook up with him. She was absolutely dragged in the comments, and the only people on her side were dudes. I don’t think most women see that as not creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 06:43 PM
–

Some do? A lot don’t. I have never in my life read any kind of romance novel and do not see the appeal of them at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 04:05 PM
1

Yeah, everyone saying it’s due to lack of religious beliefs is pretty close. I think it’s just that people who are morally opposed to living together before marriage are also more likely to not see divorce as ever being an option. Doesn’t mean they are happier in their marriages. They just stuck in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 07:01 PM
11

This is it. My ex husbands just kind of expected me to do those things. My wife actually appreciates it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 02:33 AM
1

I would rather have my heart broken than have one tenth of the things that men have done to me happen again. I’ve met some of the batshit insane ones. They still don’t hold a candle to how dangerous men are.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 12:15 PM
6

Do women even like watching porn with guys in it? Because I do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 04:27 AM
5

About two thirds of bisexual women have been victims of intimate partner violence (90% have only been abused by one or more male partners and never by a female partner) and are also much more likely to have been sexually assaulted early in life than any other sexuality and gender demographic. This has also been my experience as a bisexual woman. It’s not great.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 02:42 AM
3

I’d stay female but be a lesbian. A complete lack of attraction to men would have saved me a lot of grief in life. Actually I’m closer to being agender, which is fine. If I could have been born without the parts I have had removed, that would be ideal. 👌 The shit I have dealt with from past male partners has caused me life altering trauma of the sort that one does not get over.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 02:35 AM
2

A lot of antidepressants have that effect. And they’re generally not difficult to get.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 02:27 AM
3

A lot of antidepressants have that effect. And they’re generally not difficult to get.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 02:27 AM
6

Because there can’t be a debate without people who disagree. Edit: also because it makes me really appreciate my wife and really glad that I stopped dating men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 01:34 AM
2

Nope. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 01:27 AM
3

Most women raise their standards because of bad experiences they have had in the past. Sometimes you only figure out what your standards need to be because of how you have been treated.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 11:59 PM
1

Yeah, I cannot relate to this at all. I don’t want to feel small. I don’t want to feel feminine. I don’t want to be protected. Nothing about any of that has ever done anything positive for me. I have always found chivalry directed towards me to be deeply insulting. Every guy I have been with in the past, however, has seemed to feel some sort of need to make himself the dominant one in some fashion though. Regardless of the things they said they believed about equality, they absolutely could not …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 12:25 AM
4

Yeah, because she is young and attractive so he willing to put up with a lot more crap to keep her. This is not an unusual pattern.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 05:38 PM
3

He hasn’t had these particular problems with any of the women his age he has dated. She doesn’t really love him. She’s just using him for his money. Her behavior is a consequence of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 05:37 PM
36

My 44 year old friend started dating a 25 year old earlier this year. It’s not going well for him. They’re not having sex, she is extremely immature (drinks heavily, starts fights, gets violent with him), and she expects him to pay for everything. We all told him it wasn’t a great idea from the beginning. He wouldn’t be dissuaded. Now he is living with her and her sister, paying most of their rent, and trying to get out of the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 04:08 AM
2

If they keep their hair and stay out of the sun, maybe. One of the reasons I stopped dating guys was because even guys who were ten years younger than me looked a lot older.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 07:54 PM
–

Yes? They’re all in their 50’s or 60’s now and aren’t into it anymore because menopause tends to reduce your sex drive, but we’ve talked about it a lot. One lady that I used to be friends with told me that she used to put personal ads in the newspaper looking for women who had never been with another woman before, and she got dozens of calls every week. They would hook up once and then never again. A lot of them were married or had boyfriends. There are apps specifically for women seeking women,…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 02:01 PM
–

https://contexts.org/blog/an-unequal-distribution-of-partners-gays-versus-straights/ Lesbians are much more likely to have had 4 or more sex partners in the previous 12 months than straight women are, and are about on par with straight men. It’s not that hard if you’re motivated, and a lot of queer women are. Some of my friends would specifically look for straight women (or more likely bi-curious) and one even had sex with men when times got hard, but always felt disgusted with herself afterward…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 12:59 PM
–

As if anyone has done research on that. I’m friends with a lot of lesbians and at least half of them. At least.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 12:48 PM
–

Umm. There are lesbian/bisexual female PUAs, and there are gay men and bisexual men in long term monogamous relationships with low body counts and even families. You know absolutely nothing about the queer community. Just stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 12:26 PM
1

Yes I would and I have. I have dated (briefly) guys who were on disability and their financial status had nothing to do with why it ended. And I have also dated guys who were employed but made less than me. It’s not an issue at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 08:14 PM
2

People do what they have to do to survive.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 06:48 PM
3

What I am telling you is that 20+ years ago, no one in the US had a reason to feel safe being out. It’s really shitty to judge someone harshly for a choice they made decades ago based on what things are like now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 04:52 PM
7

The Supreme Court only legalized same sex marriage 8 years ago. I was pregnant with my only child when I read about Matthew Shepard being beaten and left to die. The only part of his face that wasn’t covered in blood was where his tears had washed it away. I didn’t believe it would ever be safe for me or for my child to come out.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 02:45 PM
5

Shit was a lot different 20+ years ago. If you weren’t there, you don’t know. Being queer doesn’t stop people from wanting families either.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 02:07 PM
1

I didn’t say it wasn’t important to me. I said it’s not the be all and end all. I had a life of my own before I met my wife, and I have a life of my own still.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 01:24 AM
1

I’m not at all being hypocritical. I still do every single thing that I suggested, and more. Being married isn’t the be all and end all. You still have to have a life of your own.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 12:06 AM
1

You don’t have to believe things just because that’s how you were raised and socialized. People make the choice to go against what they were raised with every day. I was raised in a religious cult, and I rejected the beliefs I was taught because I knew that it was harming me. It’s not easy to start questioning everything you were socialized to believe, but sometimes it’s very necessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 04:17 PM
2

I’m serious. You have to have things to live for and enjoy outside of having a spouse and kids. Even if you get married, shit happens. People leave. People die. Kids grow up and move to the other side of the country. If you don’t have your own life outside of your family, then you won’t be able to handle it if they’re not there anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 04:12 PM
2

Then make friends who live near you. Find a hobby or career that you are passionate about and put your attention on that. Get a pet.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 02:44 PM
4

There is nothing stopping men from putting a whole lot less energy into this issue currently.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 04:54 AM
0

Or you could just ask them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 04:49 AM
0

There’s a huuuuuge divide between MRAs and men who are involved in activism for men’s issues. If they are merely involved in activism for men’s issues, that’s something I fully support. If they believe that feminism is to blame for social issues that disproportionately impact men, then no I would not date them. I became involved in suicide prevention activism after losing a friend and a family member (both male) to suicide, and have personally contributed a lot of money to that cause.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 01:54 AM
1

I didn’t say anything about 27 times. Everyone has a different idea about what a “high” body count is.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 03:37 PM
1

Yes, I have before. Doesn’t even matter what women say though because we’ll just be accused of “virtue signaling.”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 02:15 PM
0

Did you hurt yourself making that stretch?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 06:58 AM
1

So? Still doesn’t mean she’s incapable of monogamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 04:04 AM
1

Of course I believe what I wrote. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t want to be alive anymore. I was born with hereditary health conditions that took away my livelihood and left me in constant pain. I’m doing much more than merely surviving because that’s the outlook I chose to have. How does any of what you are suggesting actually change anything for anyone? Having empathy for someone doesn’t get them a girlfriend. You can have empathy for someone and still believe that they are better off making the best…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 12:59 AM
2

I don’t think that makes you an outlier at all, personally. I think that’s super common.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 11:55 PM
-2

I mean, when it’s truly something you can’t do anything about, you really only have two choices. You can find ways to enjoy your life and be happy despite the difficulties, or you can be miserable and focus on everything you don’t have. What else do you suggest? Seriously?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 11:54 PM
3

Sure
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 07:57 PM
2

My point is that my willingness to try anal with someone had nothing to do with my “desire” for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 07:44 PM
3

Yeah, I didn’t expect you to disagree based on what you had written. It’s more for the benefit of other commenters here.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 07:28 PM
0

Correlation doesn’t equal causation. It’s easier to rack up a large body count if you’re cheating on your partner. But that doesn’t mean that the only way to have a high body count is by cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 06:57 PM
2

The type of woman who is going to show visceral sexual desire for a man is really unlikely to have a low body count relative to her age. Just throwing that out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 06:51 PM
2

Dude the only thing that was different between the guys I have anal with and the guys I would not allow to do that was their girth. If they were working with thick equipment, that shit was not ever gonna happen. I didn’t like giving head to guys with bigger dicks either. It’s super uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 06:43 PM
4

Sometimes it just means she’s been lied to and used too many times and will stick with the first guy who doesn’t leave. It’s not really a healthy mindset for her to be in, necessarily. But having a high body count doesn’t always mean that a woman isn’t going to or doesn’t want to be monogamous.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 06:37 PM
0

A lot of people in those situations do adapt. Even if it’s just out of necessity. I’m physically disabled, and I have chronic pain and fatigue that ranges from mild to severe on any given day, and not much helps in terms of treatment. I had to give up a 17 year career because of it, and my income dropped to half of what it was before. You do what you need to do to adapt, because sitting around and bitching about it certainly won’t change the situation. I still have about half my life left, with …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 05:31 PM
4

Look, I’m all about adapting when there’s a situation you don’t have any control over, but… uh… you can’t just turn asexual or gay? Some antidepressants can reduce or eliminate your libido, so I suppose that an option?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 04:28 PM
1

Not video games in particular, but VR has a lot more potential applications than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 12:31 PM
3

There is so much potential within VR that I think can help with this issue so much. Like, imagine instead of spending hundreds to thousands of dollars on travel and taking several days off work to go to an art car show by myself, I could go to one in VR and get a friend or family member who lives in the other side of the country to meet me there? Not to mention be able to meet and talk to other people there who have that interest as well!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 04:25 AM
0

I have some very niche interests. I have friends (in addition to my wife) just none of them are into any of the things I am into, and while I definitely appreciate having them in my life, it feels very isolating in some ways. Like I can either go to events and locations that are relevant to my interests by myself, or not at all. Sigh. I don’t know, I do think there is a lot of potential for AI to help with this issue. Being absolutely serious. It’s not quite where I would need it to be yet, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 04:05 AM
1

I’m saying I can’t speak for the rest of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 01:00 AM
1

It’s almost as though Covid has had economic impacts globally.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 12:59 AM
1

Why do you believe that no one loves elderly people who didn’t have children? That’s fucking bizarre.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 12:56 AM
1

Well women’s rights also fought to be able to work in trades that used to only allow men. Of course you still have to deal with the shitty men that work in those fields right now… but the less that is the case the more attractive it’s going to be for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 12:12 AM
1

This could certainly be true.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 11:25 PM
11

Sigh. The types of women who date meth addicts are generally not the types of women who date serious gamers.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 10:12 PM
5

I’ve gone from having a normal sex drive to being hyper sexual to having no libido at all with the same partner. Nine times out of ten it has nothing to do with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 05:15 PM
1

Maybe. Idk. I don’t care much for men so I stay away from em.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 11:00 AM
1

Okay. Sorry you’re not gay. I hear that most antidepressants will absolutely destroy your sex drive. Maybe look into that.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 06:10 AM
13

I don’t personally appreciate when people (men) have open disdain for women, but still try to get with them. If you hate women, leave em alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 05:27 AM
-1

So at least 20? Good job. 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 05:10 AM
1

My wife was also my first and only girlfriend. How many short guys have you dated/fucked?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 05:02 AM
-1

You know what a bisexual is, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 12:53 AM
-2

I’m more attracted to guys who are closer to my height (5’2”).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 09:59 PM
1

If you’re interested in a woman, let her know by punching her hard in the arm and then running away.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 09:18 PM
1

That’s the sort of thing you are better off keeping to yourself. I don’t think anyone is ever obligated to give up the details of their sexual history (or lack thereof). As long as you disclose any STI’s, the rest is your own business.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 05:31 PM
2

This has been my experience also. Being a confirmed bachelor in no way carries the same stigma as being a middle aged single childless woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 03:42 PM
1

Who gives a shit about that? It’s sad that she is that insecure. You should never let a man think he has the upper hand in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 02:14 PM
4

That’s not it. Men might still fuck you when you’re ugly, but you will very very often not be treated well. Sometimes even if they are ugly themselves. That’s one of the biggest reasons why I was always incredibly hesitant to even hook up with guys who were more attractive than me. Almost every time I went ahead with it (I had a sex addiction in the past, and for the most part I took what offers I got in the beginning) the contempt they had for me and the disregard they treated me with was utter…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 01:54 PM
1

For her I mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 01:32 PM
1

I have a man purse too, and between that and the amount of pockets I have now, sometimes I lose things just because I can’t remember which pocket I put it in. It’s definitely a first world problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 03:57 AM
1

The pockets are pretty life changing. It’s worth the trade off, I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 03:40 AM
2

I wear men’s clothing and the only part about it I hate is that I’m absolutely boiling for half the year. I’m a bus driver and even though my bus has an (entirely inadequate) A/C system, by the time I get off my shift not only are my shorts damp all the way through, but the driver’s seat is also damp. I didn’t have that problem when I wore women’s clothes with a lot less coverage and usually thinner fabric.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 03:13 AM
1

That’s just sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 02:58 AM
0

Then she probably thought you were less attractive than her. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 01:03 AM
5

I don’t know any women who want to be the ugly one in their relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 05:29 PM
7

Even if you have kids, they move out at some point (if you’re lucky anymore, at least). My kid moved out six years ago and I have four cats now. Was never a big drinker though. You’ve got to have a life outside of your kids, because there’s no guarantee they’re going to live anywhere near you as adults, and even if they do, they have their own lives too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 04:44 PM
1

Because I don’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 04:18 AM
1

Doesn’t matter because we won’t be forcing people to have relationships they don’t want. We will figure shit out one way or another.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 02:44 PM
1

He literally said that was why.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:35 PM
1

That’s their decision to make?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:33 PM
3

“High value” is not referring to income.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 06:17 AM
1

Yeah, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about being fired for shit like theft, sexual harassment, violence, etc. It’s not merely the job loss. It what led to the job loss.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 05:40 AM
7

Are we just going to pretend that every single mother with a deadbeat dad has been a single mother since day one? Lots of dudes who are not paying child support were just fine with supporting their kids while they were married to or still in a relationship with their kid’s mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:37 AM
0

The reason for the job loss matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:18 AM
1

I like my men to be built like Shrek. But shorter.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:46 AM
1

Well, I’ve been dumped over it. So clearly it was an issue for them. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:04 AM
3

I think they find it emasculating? Or it’s just too masculine of a behavior for a woman to have. Idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:52 PM
3

Ooh, oh yeah definitely this one too.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:51 PM
2

Borderline personality disorder. “Stop calling me” pretty much got the message across.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:49 PM
1

This gets posted all the damn time. The truth is that as much as men say they want women to make the first moves, what they mean is that they want women they are attracted to to make the first moves. When a woman approaches a guy first, it usually just makes him wonder what’s wrong with her that she has to make the first move.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 05:09 PM
5

Except that some of us do.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:58 PM
1

I haven’t seen any women saying things like that on this sub. Only men. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 02:44 PM
3

Yeah, but most men don’t really want to date someone who is way below their socioeconomic class. Even if the women don’t work themselves they’re most often going to be from a wealthy family. Men with a very high income can afford to be more choosy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 02:43 PM
1

I’ve been yelled at by a dude because I didn’t hold the door for him (it was dark and I have absolute shit night vision). It doesn’t feel good to be yelled at because I’m visually impaired, but guess what? Some people are assholes. That’s how it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 02:16 PM
3

I mean… the only people I see on this sub who are acting bitter about not being able to find a partner are men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:25 PM
1

I follow some feminist subs. If being treated as an equal who is responsible for the way they treat others makes you feel like shit… I’m not sure what to tell you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:23 PM
2

I suppose that’s true. Personally I have never dated anyone who had a significantly different income than my own. People tend to date more or less within the same socioeconomic class.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:21 PM
3

You’re still generally going to be better off with two incomes and no kids, even if both incomes are low.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 04:31 AM
2

I guess if living with your parents is an option and you have a high paying career? Living on my own and trying to make ends meet as a working class person was never a picnic for me. I’ve almost always been more financially secure living with a partner (with the exception of my first husband who was more of a financial liability than anything).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 04:29 AM
3

Not… really? I was also not participating in the heterosexual marketplace when I was married to a man. But I still had standards, and they were not being met. Hence why I left that relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 04:20 AM
5

I’m just not really sure how staying single for life and having a relationship with a woman are in any way equivalent? My end goal was to secure a relationship. The gender of my partner wasn’t important to me, but it was important that they meet my standards, and continue to meet those standards for the duration of the relationship. You don’t just stop having standards just because you find someone. Not if you are smart anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:43 AM
1

If one party in a relationship just doesn’t have much sex drive, or none at all, and they’re also not willing to just do it for the sake of the relationship, then there’s not a lot that can be done to fix it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 02:40 AM
6

I don’t have different standards for men than I do women. Nothing about my standards changed. I maintain my standards while in a relationship as well. I don’t feel it’s accurate to say that I don’t need standards just because I’m not in a relationship with a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 02:29 AM
2

They’re all way out of my league in pretty much every way.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 02:20 AM
14

Men weren’t meeting my standards, so I found someone who would. What I did not do was expect more from men than they were giving and then complain when I didn’t get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 01:56 AM
11

You only have control over your own actions. Complaining that other people’s standards are too high is never going to be helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 01:54 AM
36

Nobody needs to reconsider their standards. Not being in a relationship is a perfectly viable option.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:51 AM
9

It’s almost as though not every woman spends money on those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 10:02 PM
0

Any time your car makes contact with something it should not, it’s an accident. Maybe not a major accident, but even a fairly moderate accident can result in injury and can fuck your car up.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 04:03 PM
2

Apparently one statistic says that 77% of motorists are involved in an auto accident in their lifetime. I’ve been in four so far, though two were pretty minor.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:48 PM
2

It probably depends on the person, but I’ve found attraction standards to be highly influenced by a person’s personality for myself. I realized in my teens that a lot of my standards were just based on the media and what other people liked. Like I was more worried about getting with a guy that my friends thought was ugly than anything else. I found this out by falling for someone I had thought was hideous upon first meeting him. After that I started really questioning what my standards really we…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 05:47 AM
1

I’ve had two (male) long term partners who were autistic and neither of them were shy at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 01:38 AM
5

My wife used to work overnights on call, picking up transporting and processing dead bodies. She currently works at a truck stop as a diesel tech and almost got killed last night when a semi truck tire exploded hard enough to destroy the rim. Had she not walked away seconds earlier she would have been hit by the explosion. And I still wouldn’t date a cop. I don’t tend to have much in common with white collar workers, but that not any kind of dealbreaker for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 06:29 PM
1

Tess is closest to my type physically. But kind of not a great person. I don’t know anything about the personalities of the other women. Idk. Woman A seems kind of fun too. Having a kid isn’t a deal breaker for me at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 08:33 PM
2

Yeah, except that I’m able to orgasm within seconds if someone has actual skills in that department. And yet many men have failed at it entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 07:14 PM
1

Sometimes one, sometimes the other. After I started dating women I never went back to dating men though. Aside from a hook up with a guy I met in a club while on vacation. He was cute, and a very sweet guy, but the sex really cemented to me that it wasn’t worth it to me anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 04:23 PM
1

Both are certainly valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 04:21 PM
2

Because that’s all I want. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 01:03 PM
6

Orgasms aren’t a one and done type of thing for women the same way they are for men. Women don’t have a refractory period like men do. My biggest frustration with male partners is that they would far too often give me one orgasm (if I was lucky) and then pat themself on the back and go to sleep, or go play video games, or call an Uber and put their clothes back on. Meanwhile for me, that was like eating one French fry. Unsalted. None of my female partners have ever done this. The first one is ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 08:55 AM
1

How is “don’t stop doing that!” not communicating well enough?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 07:56 AM
1

That’s not what they’re asking. They’re asking whether you have any evidence that the overwhelming majority of men actually do this in reality, vs. just making the claim that they would:
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 07:44 AM
1

Asking a group of men, a sizable percentage of whom struggle to even get dates by their own admission, what they would do in some hypothetical scenario is definitely not an accurate way of getting actual real life data on this. I can tell you that in my experience none of my male partners have had any interest in going through the motions when they didn’t feel like it. Even when it meant the end of our relationship. The only partner I have had who is happy to do that is my wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 07:28 AM
1

Cool. Still irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 06:12 AM
2

Wow, you really just wrote all that out over semantics, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the point OP was trying to make. Yes, lesbians have orgasms more often during sex than straight women do, regardless of the fact that lesbians have sex slightly less frequently on average. Which has zero bearing on the point OP thinks they are making.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 05:27 AM
2

What’s your explanation for the difference in orgasm frequency between straight women and lesbians then?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 03:42 AM
1

You have a better chance of making $200 a month showing your asshole online than you do of making as much as Lebron James by playing basketball, yet you don’t seem all that bitter about the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 01:47 AM
-2

Dude, nothing is stopping you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 01:34 AM
3

You could spend an equal amount of time delivering for doordash and make significantly more than that. Without the potential of someone seeing you naked whom you would really prefer not see you naked.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:55 AM
3

I date all genders and I both would and have dated people who were overweight and obese.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 05:42 PM
0

How does what work? They were good at what they were doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 07:07 PM
3

Body positive influencers are a very small percentage of body positive women. I have a thing for short guys in particular. And chubby guys. It just turned out they’re not really any better than tall or fit guys. Edit: women are also not trading photos of or commissioning art of chads. That’s kind of weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 05:45 PM
1

Nah, I’ve been incredibly aroused with men who I wasn’t even remotely attracted to. It’s a skill issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 02:42 PM
1

Nope. I moved across the country five years ago and didn’t know a single person here when I landed. I slowly built up my friend group by going to weird artsy events and talking to people, and then inviting them to other weird artsy events. You have to be pretty intentional about it, but it can be done. Burning Man seems to be a good shortcut. I haven’t been, but several of my friends go.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 01:30 AM
1

They sure do. I’m 44 and that’s still who I hang out with. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 01:19 AM
1

Idk how old you are but I kinda doubt it had completely disappeared in the last five years.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 01:11 AM
1

Up until I was about 18 I cared somewhat. In that he had to be taller than me. I couldn’t pull hot guys anyway. Once I was 18-19 or so I didn’t care about height anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 12:00 AM
1

You can add to that: not every villain is popular.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 08:32 PM
1

I went to school with a guy who killed his dad with a machete and then drove into town and started picking off strangers. He was definitely not popular. I had tried to befriend him because we were assigned to sit together on the bus in 8th grade. He didn’t have friends because he didn’t want them. He also had a dead end minimum wage job as an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 07:27 PM
1

My daughter is 23 and she and all of her friends as well as her boyfriend are in that subculture.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 07:14 PM
1

Absolutely. I came from an abusive home, and started to associate abuse with love. I still knew somehow that I wasn’t being treated right, and I left.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 07:04 PM
1

No, women do not love cheaters, bullies and criminals. I wound up with one when I was a teenager because he knew how to hide what he was really like. I learned how to spot men like the at and actively avoided them. My last two partners may not have worked out in the end, but they are good men. I’m still good friends with both of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 07:03 PM
6

I didn’t make a secret of it. If they asked, I was honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 12:24 PM
3

Lol, yeah some of them were really not attractive at all in my case either. She actually dated them though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 12:23 PM
5

If all the things that have made it difficult for me to date, N count isn’t one of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 05:12 AM
3

Nah, it really depends on how someone is ND. BPD is more common in women and it’s very hard to attract mentally stable partners when you have that. Healthy friendships and relationships are super important for someone with BPD to function and improve their condition. But those types of relationships re so hard to come by in the first place. 🫤
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 04:20 AM
0

I mean, it’s kept me from starving at times when I was out of work and literally selling everything I owned of any value to pay my rent. I’m glad to no longer be in a position where I need to do that, but at the time it was very helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 12:18 AM
7

Social prostitution is having sex or doing sexual favors in exchange for a meal, a place to stay, a ride, drugs, etc. There’s less risk because it’s not illegal, and it’s usually a guy that you know vs some dude you picked up randomly. It’s not uncommon at all, especially among women in lower socioeconomic classes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 12:10 AM
3

It’s an honest exchange either way. A fairly large percentage of women have at one point or another engaged in social prostitution.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 12:00 AM
1

Well if it makes them feel better, I hooked up with a bunch of older virgins while in my late 30’s as a weird hobby or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 11:58 PM
-1

Not all women, but certainly some. Again, I don’t see how it’s being weaponized. Maybe if you promised sex in exchange for whatever and then backed out after the favor was done. But if you follow through on your end then it’s just a transaction that benefits both parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 11:41 PM
5

There’s more of a stigma attached to straight up charging for it. For both parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 11:37 PM
1

How is it weaponized? It’s quid pro quo. Both parties get something they want. It’s known as social prostitution, and a lot of women have done it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 11:36 PM
1

Yeah, it was pretty good with my best friend’s boyfriend. He was hung. We hooked up regularly for about a month and then he got bored I guess. Idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 11:33 PM
3

Oh yeah. I did stuff like that too. I really wasn’t into the guys at all. I just did it out of rebellion against purity culture. Even better if it was a Mormon or evangelical dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 11:28 PM
0

I’ve done it out of jealousy, basically. When I was very young. If I knew someone liked my best friend, I would try to hook up with him first. Not proud of it. It was entirely out of spite. I also got one of her boyfriends to sleep with me. So… yeah. I was a terrible friend back then. It’s been over 20 years and we are still friends. Her husband is really unattractive. I’ve also done it for a free meal and/or weed when I was out of work. I suppose I didn’t really have to, but it seemed more fair…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 11:24 PM
0

Not a guy, but I am married to a woman. I do this a lot. I don’t have as high of a libido as my wife, especially since hitting 40, but I know what it’s like to have a dead bedroom and don’t want her to have to deal with that. If I don’t really feel up to it, I fake it until I am actually into it. I want her to be happy and feel loved and I will do whatever I need to do to keep her that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 06:30 PM
1

On the other hand
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 11:20 AM
1

I’m sorry, but how does any of what I said prove that?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 10:34 PM
1

Two of my male friends are former partners of mine, some of them I went to high school or college with, some are partners or siblings of my female friends. Some are current or former neighbors. Most are either current or former coworkers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 10:20 PM
2

Lol, I would instantly clock any conventionally attractive man who slid into my DM’s as a catfish. I wasn’t born yesterday.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 10:04 PM
5

Exactly. I’m not sexually attracted to men at all at this point in my life, but I can recognize when a man is good looking. He just won’t make me feel some type of way. An attractive woman OTOH, will get me all flustered and tongue tied. And that’s not only about looks either. A lot of men would not be particularly attracted to my wife, but I think she’s hot as hell. We’re not all attracted to the same physical attributes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 09:58 PM
1

And you still haven’t answered my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 04:28 PM
1

And? If women expect men to pay their bills, then who do lesbian couples expect to pay the bills?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 04:04 PM
–

I found that if there were no men were were willing or able to meet my standards, that it wasn’t that difficult for me to find a woman who could.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 03:50 PM
3

So then make some female friends. I’m there frequently as an emotional support for many of my male friends who need that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 09:00 AM
4

So what’s your explanation for when the man is the cause of the dead bedroom then? 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 12:42 AM
1

How do you think lesbian couples manage to get their bills paid? 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 12:11 AM
1

Yes, it actually does help with feelings of loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 04:07 PM
1

Wtf are you talking about? Most of my closest friends are lesbians or bisexual women. And their closest friends are are queer women as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:11 AM
1

Yeah this wouldn’t be a problem for me at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:06 AM
6

8 or 9. From family members and the pastor of my church.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 02:41 AM
1

For me personally there are a lot of things I find to be equally or more important. I get a lot of fulfillment in my life from art (both making it and observing it), nature, music, food, my pets, even my job. I’m not that close with most of my family, and I don’t have a very high sex drive anymore. I’m lucky to have an awesome wife, but when we have spent extended periods of time apart due to work and family obligations, we both are able to function and even have fun by ourselves. We both need o…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 12:43 AM
0

I generally felt like a guy was interested if he asked me out again shortly after the first date, and called/texted me the day after.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 07:34 PM
1

Match.com was around before eharmony, and Okcupid has been around since the early 2000’s too.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 04:19 PM
3

I can’t speak to the numbers, but I had an account on match.com in 1998, and it was mostly men that we would now call neckbeards that I saw on there. People were just barely getting into using the internet in the late 90’s, and most people who were old enough to be widows/widowers were nowhere near it at that point, let alone using it to get dates. The main users were skewing younger, and were pretty nerdy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 04:06 AM
1

I very specifically never wanted a male partner who was significantly better looking than me. Or who made a lot more money than me. At most, we were looks matched and made around the same income. I’m not sure why? I guess it stems from insecurity. I just never wanted someone to look at me with my partner and think “eww, why is he with her?” My wife is better looking than me though. When we first met, I made a lot more than her, but now she makes more than me. The only reason I don’t feel insecur…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 03:59 AM
3

All of this! I have turned down dudes at the club who were objectively pretty good looking, because I was getting a not good vibe off of them. I just didn’t feel safe. And then I wound up going home with a much less attractive guy, because I felt safe with him from the start. The sex wasn’t great unfortunately, but he really was a nice guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 03:45 AM
1

Pretty much, yes. 90% of the dudes I have hooked up with were significantly less satisfying than just staying home and taking care of it myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 03:38 AM
3

It’s easy-ish if you aren’t at all picky about looks. But yeah, even with that, I still got ghosted a lot and even stood up. A lot of guys on apps and OLD platforms aren’t serious about meeting anyone. They’ll ask for nudes and whether you send them or not, that’s pretty much the last you will hear from them. I’m fairly unattractive though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 03:16 AM
3

That if your partner is asking something of you, like for more affection, or whatever, that you should consider the possibility that their request is entirely reasonable and may be worth taking note of. I mean, you shouldn’t do anything that compromises your values, or put up with requests that really aren’t reasonable. But if all they want is more hugs from you, or something like that, that’s not a hill worth dying on.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 01:37 AM
11

The point is that if things go sideways he can afford to leave. Leaving the workforce entirely is a risky move for anyone. I don’t advise it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 05:05 PM
13

The women who complain about feeling like their partner’s mother are generally working full time and then still coming home to do 95% of the housework and childcare. Most families do not have a stay at home mom anymore, and those that do are generally not expecting their husband to pitch in 50%. I will put out there, though, that if you are doing little to no childcare, then you can’t really bitch about getting every other weekend with the kids in a divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 05:00 PM
2

Who says we don’t try to talk it out first? That’s a weird assumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:14 PM
3

As someone who has ended two relationships with men over having a dead bedroom, I’m not sure why you think this is some big “gotcha”? You (and I) have the right to want sex consistently within a relationship. You also have the right to feel unwanted and unloved if you aren’t getting that, and to let your partner know that. You have the right to prioritize a healthy sex life within a relationship. And you have the right to leave a relationship if your partner is unwilling to come to a workable co…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:04 PM
0

I don’t blame any given man at all for being wary of women and avoiding relationships with them if he’s been abused in past relationships, or been falsely accused of a crime, or whatever. It’s completely understandable, and his absolute right to do so. I have a lot of male coworkers, and some of them don’t really socialize with others, or possibly just avoid the women there. Idk. I don’t really care. If I get a vibe off of someone that they’re not interested in being friends, I’m polite but leav…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 03:52 AM
1

No. I thought my second husband was 5’8” for years. He’s 5’10”.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 03:59 AM
2

I’m not at all sure what you talking about. I googled that name and got some weird furry stuff. Googling “pseudobisexual” wasn’t very helpful either. You lost me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 12:24 AM
5

Most are not androgynous enough for me. And they look even less so as they get older. Facial hair, a beer belly, and balding are pretty unattractive to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 12:16 AM
15

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. One of the biggest reasons I stopped dating men is because I just wasn’t attracted to the vast majority of men around my age. Even guys who were ten years younger looked too masculine to me. Women who are already kind of androgynous only become more so as they age. Androgyny in men is much more short lived.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:54 AM
2

Some of us just prefer pretty boys. 🤷‍♀️ They’re a little young for me, personally, but I get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:47 AM
–

An ugly guy who is confident and charming becomes way more attractive to me just because of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:04 AM
–

I’m as “woke feminist” as it gets, and I have no problems with someone shooting their shot as long as they’re not being disrespectful or sexually aggressive.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:01 AM
–

If you want to approach, I say just go for it. Be careful about coworkers, but other than that try not to stress so much about it. Some women will be annoyed or put off by it, but oh well. As long as you are respectful with your approach, you’re doing nothing wrong. Maybe it’s just because I’m fairly unattractive and don’t get approached often, but I do actually appreciate being hit on or flirted with in a way that isn’t sexually aggressive. I feel kind of bad having to let someone down if I’m a…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 02:58 AM
2

I don’t know the exact length of time, but somewhere between six months and a year. It was a lot harder while in a committed relationship (dead bedroom) than it was when I was single. I can easily go for a lot longer without sex while I’m single. It’s more that I just get bored, so as long as I have friends I can hang out with, I’m good.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 01:44 AM
8

The hormones come from the ovaries. I still have those. You won’t get periods, but you will still release an egg every month, give or take, and go through the exact same hormonal fluctuations. You just won’t bleed because you have nothing to bleed from. It’s actually appalling how little some men know about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 09:58 PM
5

My point is that it’s not caused by changes in hormones. I had a hysterectomy years ago, and I still have my ovaries, so I still get the same hormones for about one week out of the month as I did when I was menstruating. I can’t even tell when it’s happening. I have no idea. I don’t get moody or emotional or notice any changes whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 08:43 PM
2

It not an issue for me. I married a (formerly) promiscuous woman. It’s going just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:39 PM
1

You’re not stuck with just whatever family members you might happen to have. I have a grown child but we live across the country from each other. I’ve seen her in person once in the last three years. Make friends. Build connections with your community. I had older friends when I was in my 20’s, and I have friends who are in their 20’s now. Even if you find a partner, they may not always be there. Things happen. People die. It’s not a good idea to depend on one single person for your emotional su…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:24 PM
45

I can’t speak for every woman ever, but it was never that being on my period made me more emotionally volatile. It was that I was in a whole lot of pain. People have a tendency to be irritable when they’re in a lot of pain. Even men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 04:22 AM
3

I left because of the lack of sex. Neither of them were unhappy with the situation as it was. Neither of them believed there was a problem. I got into relationships with them because they were nice decent guys who were not assholes. The decline in sex was pretty gradual, and got worse over time. I stayed for a while because I loved them, and I hoped that it could be worked out. But even after spending thousands on a sex therapist with the more recent relationship, nothing changed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 06:14 PM
3

No, I don’t. The first one had since told me that it’s been a pattern in every relationship he has had. The second just has little to no sex drive period.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 05:02 PM
8

My last two relationships were with nice guys. We got along well for the most part, and still do. The problem is that both of them lost interest almost completely in sex (as well as most other forms of physical affection) within the first year of dating, and it never improved. Neither of them had any real interest or desire to change that situation. Neither of them took me seriously when I told them I wasn’t happy. It took me a month to find a nice, sweet, hard working, good natured woman. And s…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 02:18 PM
2

I don’t have a problem finding and keeping male friends. Even ones who were initially interested in dating me. But it still occasionally happens that some guy has zero interest in being friends if I’m in a relationship. It’s shocking and hurtful to me in part because it’s unusual.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 08:50 PM
2

Given how many high status famous dudes still pay for sex workers, I suspect it’s not as big of a boost for a man’s SMV as you imagine it to be. I’m sure it doesn’t hurt, but in that case you are only attracting the type of women who will use you for your wealth and/or are seeking a particular lifestyle.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 02:44 AM
1

Read it again. I never said the vast majority of men are trash. I said that most of the men I have met who are trash are not ones that I dated. I’m not talking about one man. I’m talking about family members, church leaders, classmates, coworkers, neighbors, random men on the street who for whatever reason decided to target me with their creepy bullshit. You don’t have to date men to have had overwhelmingly bad experiences with a lot of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 02:09 AM
1

Chad and Tyrone don’t usually need to put on some elaborate ruse to get laid. That’s a tactic mostly employed by average looking men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 01:20 PM
1

Yeah, that’s absolutely a dick move on his part. No pun intended.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 06:29 AM
5

I misread “rear” as “ear” at first and I thought to myself “well that’s a new one!”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 05:50 AM
3

Good men don’t intentionally deceive people to get them into bed. Good men are honest about their intentions, even if it means they might not get laid. And Chads can be good men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 05:41 AM
1

The one time I can recall where a guy used me for sex, he was not in any way a guy that all the other women wanted. We ran in the same crowd, he knew what the guys I dated looked like, and he figured that my standards for looks were low enough that he had a shot.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 05:37 AM
1

Yeah, except for the fact that the one time in particular I can recall it happening to me, I called him out the next time I ran into him. We had several mutual friends, so it wasn’t really possible for him to just disappear like a fart in the wind. At first he played dumb and acted like he thought we were on the same page about it being a one night stand. But later on when I saw him again, he apologized and admitted that he had been intentionally deceptive. Sometimes you will never find out the …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 05:26 AM
3

Since when is a thief absolved from responsibility just because the item they stole was left where they could see it? It’s not a character flaw to take someone at their word. It is a character flaw to intentionally deceive someone in order to get something from them that they would not be giving you if you were telling the truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 05:11 AM
1

It only happened here and there when I was very young and naïve. It was more subtle than making overt promises. It looked more like just acting like they were super into me and wanted to seriously date, and then ghosting the moment we had sex. It didn’t take me long to figure that shit out and I started compartmentalizing my relationships with men. It’s very easy for me to shut down the part of myself that might potentially want a romantic relationship with someone. If I decide that it’s just se…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:57 AM
8

You don’t have to “promise commitment” in order to get someone to have sex with you using deception and emotional manipulation. Whether they are making actual promises or not, they are still lying to get you to sleep with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:45 AM
1

Fat 50 year old, please. The younger women pictured are cute but too young for me. Fat, older butch women are 🔥.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 03:59 AM
2

Idk how common it is, but I currently know one guy who has at least 2-3 different girlfriends in different countries at any given time. He also has girlfriends in the US though. My ex’s insufferable, fat, autistic former coworker also went to the Philippines to get a wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 10:13 PM
2

I stayed with my kid’s dad for five years after they were born, but ultimately it came down to the fact that I wanted a kid, and I had a health condition that makes it very very difficult to get pregnant and carry to term as you get older. I was 21 when I gave birth and I never was able to get pregnant again. I also miscarried two pregnancies before having my child.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 05:09 PM
1

I don’t think it makes someone a failure to not have a sex drive, but it’s not what I signed up for and it made us fundamentally incompatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 03:22 PM
2

Omg, yes I tried initiating many many many times. 🤦‍♀️ It hurts to be repeatedly rejected, so eventually I stopped trying. He wouldn’t even have vanilla sex with me, so “trying new kinks” was kind of impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 12:14 PM
1

Yes, sorry that was kind of unclear. If he were still my husband I would just have called him my husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 12:10 PM
3

In what universe are people of any pill color/ideology saying that there are “no wrong women”? I have never seen anyone claim that you have to accept whatever treatment you get from a woman because she is a woman. That’s idiotic. With regards to a person’s past, though, people are free to hold whatever another person did in the past against them, but I think that shortsighted, personally. I’m more interested in who someone is now than what they did in the past, as long as their past didn’t invol…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 06:01 AM
–

So yeah, you agree then that it’s not that men are more likely to be attracted to a woman who is taller than they would prefer. It’s that they are more likely to sleep with someone they aren’t attracted to. I’m not sure how that’s supposed to be a positive thing for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:51 AM
1

I think it may depend somewhat on your age group, because college aged men tend to be more non-committal in general. But I can say with absolute honesty that I’ve been given the “I only see you as a friend” by at least a half a dozen unattractive dudes shortly after winding up in bed with them. They weren’t random dudes I met online or at the bar, they were guys I had known for some time who were a part of my social circle. That honestly just made it hurt a lot more, because I still had to see t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:49 AM
2

We had a completely dead bedroom for the majority of our marriage. Spent thousands of dollars on a sex therapist. Zero improvement. Eventually I just lost attraction to him because of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:39 AM
4

My second husband cried in front of me on a few occasions and was emotionally vulnerable quite a bit. It didn’t affect my attraction to him at all, but we weren’t having sex because he didn’t care about it, and for whatever reason he didn’t find it worth prioritizing for my sake either. That’s why he’s my second husband. That and other reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:28 AM
1

Umm, a lot of the women who have responded have said that they raised their standards only after being pumped and dumped by ugly guys. These things are in no way mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:21 AM
1

This is it right here. Ugly women already know that we have zero chance with hot guys. We’re not delusional.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:19 AM
1

I was on Okcupid in 2009 when that “study” was done. It was neckbeard central. That graph is completely accurate. Also men absolutely suck at taking flattering photos, and have zero sense of which pics they should be putting on their dating profile. Most of the guys I met in person were better looking than their pics would have led me to believe. Still below average, but like a 3 in real life and a 2 based on pics. I wasn’t out at that time and wasn’t looking at women’s profiles, but I can say w…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 04:06 AM
0

Even ugly guys can get sex whenever they want it if they pay for it. Any guy can.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 03:57 AM
1

Then go back and read what she said again, because all she said was “IT geeks absolutely pump and dump.”
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 03:40 AM
–

Yeah, sure. Some men are willing to lower their standards temporarily if that means they can get their dick wet. That doesn’t mean they’re attracted to you or interested in any more than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 03:33 AM
2

If you don’t want a relationship, you don’t want a relationship. For some people sex might be enough of a motivator to do it anyway, but for many it’s just not worth it to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 03:31 AM
1

That hasn’t been my experience with hot guys, personally. The first time I hooked up with a conventionally attractive guy, I knew up front that was all it was, and I was fine with that. I was young, just got out of a long term relationship, and wasn’t ready for anything more serious than a fwb. What actually happened was he had zero respect for my boundaries, and treated me with casual indifference. I didn’t enjoy any part of it. He passed out on his sofa and I crawled to his bathroom and vomite…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 03:08 AM
1

As someone who is uglier, I can tell you that it doesn’t make a difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 02:49 AM
2

Nobody said that IT geeks are “more likely” to pump and dump. Only that they absolutely do, and it’s not some kind of rare anomaly. Fat, old, ugly women cheat too. If someone wants to cheat, then they will, so long as they can find a willing partner. And women can nearly always find a willing partner, even if they have to scrape the bottom of the barrel.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 02:44 AM
1

The hottest guys still have standards. They don’t fuck literally every woman who is willing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 02:35 AM
1

You don’t have to get casual sex consistently to pump and dump. Some guys just take it when they can get it but still have zero desire to be tied down.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 02:30 AM
1

I have, twice now in my life, had dudes that I hooked up with years ago text me out of the blue and mention that I was the last person he had had sex with. One of them, when I did the math, I realized it had been over five years. That one wasn’t so much a pump and dump, because it was someone I had known for a long time, but I had feelings for him, and he shut that down real quick. In hindsight I think that was the right decision, and we are still good friends. But at the time it kind of sucked.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 02:18 AM
2

I absolutely have. I started dating short/ugly/broke men on purpose. Guess what? They do it too. Just because a guy doesn’t get lucky often, doesn’t mean he automatically wants a serious relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 02:04 AM
–

Feeling used is absolutely not the worst thing that can happen. Hooking up with someone you don’t know well is inherently risky. A lot of sexual assaults happen between two people who initially consented to have sex. It’s just as violating, but damn near impossible to prosecute. If you’re having a hard time figuring out what I’m talking about, imagine you’re having a great time with a woman you went home with, and after the deed is done and you pass out in her bed, you wake up to her pegging you…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 01:54 AM
–

There are some ugly ass tall men out there. My first husband is 6’2” but in no way was he out of my league, and I’m not particularly attractive. He aged like shredded iceberg lettuce too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 01:42 AM
–

I get that same feeling when men have a checklist that includes “must be under 5’X” for the same reasons, even though I’m short enough to always be under that threshold. A majority of the men I have talked to on apps have either asked me how tall I am, or commented on my height if it’s listed in my profile. It doesn’t necessarily come off negatively to me, but I think a lot of men on PPD like to pretend that only women have height preferences, and I know from experience that’s not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 01:34 AM
–

Well… my first thought when I read that statistic is that they’re only asking women who are currently using a dating app. It seems very possible to me that women who are indifferent about height, or at least have a lower “floor” than 5’8”, might spend less time on dating apps because they find someone they are interested in dating more quickly. At least that’s been my personal experience. When you don’t have any arbitrary height requirements, you will get far more suitable matches in a shorter p…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 01:20 AM
11

Unequal division of labor is a biiiiig part of why women initiate divorce more often. It was a major factor in both of my divorces.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 01:25 PM
3

Plenty of guys are willing to have sex with someone they’re not attracted to just to have sex. That doesn’t work for me. Why neurodivergent, is because I’m neurodivergent and neurotypical people kind of creep me out. I can’t relate to them. What I mean by “no fucks given” is not exactly the same from person to person, but it usually looks like either not caring what other people think and doing what they want to do, or not even realizing that other people might look at them strangely for doing w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 12:39 PM
1

I prefer them to be female women. But let’s say we’re talking about male men instead, for some reason. Looks really don’t have much to do with it. I do have a level, looks wise, that I’m not really willing to go below, but it’s like a 2 out of 10. There’s just a certain personality that I tend to go for. Usually neurodivergent. And a “no fucks given” kind of attitude. And them being very attracted to me is important. If they’re not attracted to me, I can tell. And it turns me off.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 03:57 AM
1

I did for a while. We were close friends throughout 10th grade, talked on the phone for hours every day. He moved out of state at the end of the year and we lost touch until I was in my mid 20’s. We talked off and on after that, both of us cycling in and out of relationships. But we still lived in different states from one another. Finally, like 25+ years after high school, I was in his city for a class and we wound up hooking up. That was pretty much the closure I needed I guess. It wasn’t bad …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 03:16 AM
1

You just reminded me of the time my ex husband called me to ask me how to do taxes. In June. He also asked me how to fill out a rental application when he moved later on.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 10:27 PM
–

Most men are already not attracted to me. It sucks. It hurts. But I don’t hate all men because of that. It’s whatever. More than anything it just made me hate myself. Thankfully a lot of women do find me attractive and are overall much better partners. So I’m doing fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:31 PM
2

The first man I ever had orgasms with from “just the sexual act” was a drug dealer I hooked up with a handful of times. I didn’t love him. I barely knew him. I moved on very easily when he got too flakey for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:35 AM
3

Grew up as the PK in a fundie church, and this is it. My first divorce was both gut wrenching and long overdue. And I wasn’t even in the church anymore, but the brainwashing is real. Since then I have fully embraced the fact that life is too short to suffer thru being married to someone who doesn’t give a shit about you or what you need.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 12:23 AM
1

I never said they were. I was pointing out that you don’t have to have been romantically involved with a man to have an overwhelmingly negative experience with him. Just because a woman has had bad experiences with men does not automatically mean they were men she chose.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 10:44 PM
1

I don’t have many male friends. The few that I do are decent people but I would not be in a romantic relationship with any of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 04:35 PM
1

I had a LTR with a guy who was autistic, terrible at masking, unattractive, and worked in a warehouse. I ended things because I wanted to get married and he didn’t, though we are still close friends. He’s had several relationships since then and is currently dating a 25 year old (he is 44).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 11:09 AM
2

Both of my ex husbands were average or below average in looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 12:50 PM
1

I generally find men more attractive if they are fat/skinny fat. Not into the tanned d-bag look at all. It does nothing for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 11:56 AM
–

That’s not what I mean. I don’t mean getting burned out because of long hours and a too heavy workload. I mean actual physical injuries that are incredibly painful and difficult to recover from when it’s your job that is causing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 03:30 AM
–

I had more work related injuries when I was a 21 year old grocery store cashier than any other job I have had. Overuse injuries are so common in the service sector.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 02:40 AM
5

As a lifelong member of the working class, it has never made me any more attractive to the opposite sex. All of my long term partners, of either gender, have all been working class as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 02:26 AM
–

That doesn’t automatically make it a reasonable position to take. Someone who is “grossed out” by a person using Facebook to keep up with family members and their best friend from grade school has some fucked up priorities.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 08:41 PM
–

Although I’m giving your examples a good amount of side eye, this just seems like it boils down to personality and compatibility being more important than looks. Speaking about looks in a purely objective sense, anyway. I don’t I know if I’m alone in my experience, but I have certainly come to find some people significantly more physically attractive because I am strongly attracted to their personality. There was one guy in high school who I thought was a creepy, ugly motherfucker the first time…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 07:46 PM
–

You realize that there are a whole lot of women who are very casual users of social media, right? It’s hard to exist in this world without at least having accounts on most or all of the major platforms. More and more workplaces are using social media to quickly disseminate information quickly and easily to a lot of people, as well as individuals. You can fall out of the loop very quickly if you’re not checking in once in a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 07:38 PM
6

Oh I would totally choose to be a lesbian. Not a doubt in my mind. I feel like I already kind of have that luxury since I’m bi, but if I could have gone back in time and not been attracted to men ever, that would have been great.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 02:15 AM
3

I was 39 when I met my wife (she was 32). Maturity really helps people in having healthy happy relationships. Not many people have that yet in their early to mid 20’s. Some people never achieve that level of maturity. But I know that in my 20’s and even early 30’s I wasn’t there yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 05:27 PM
–

Yeah, none of my exes ever did that shit either.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 06:46 AM
–

Even when women outearn their husbands, they still do a higher proportion of childcare and housework. None of my exes ever made significantly more than I did, and at various points I made slightly more. They still did fuck all around the house and just expected me to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 03:08 AM
4

It is and has been an absolute deal breaker for me since like 1996. I’m okay with a little vulgarity since I’m a little vulgar myself. But context matters there a lot. Edit: I am very attracted to confidence, but how that looks for me is that I’m attracted specifically to men who are very secure in their masculinity and do what the fuck they want, regardless of whether or not that thing is seen as “feminine”. A guy feeling the need to project masculinity all the time is not a good fit for me and…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 02:04 AM
1

A vast majority of the “trash” men I have encountered are men I have not had any kind of romantic/sexual relationship with. You don’t have to have been involved with any men to have had very negative experiences with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 05:25 PM
0

Over 95% of custody cases are decided outside of the courtroom and agreed upon by both parents. Most men don’t want primary custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 03:14 PM
1

Regardless of who my partner is, and what they look like, if I am confident and secure in our relationship then I do not care where they go or with whom. My wife has been out of town for the last five weeks for work. She goes out with her coworkers all the time and hangs out with them at the hotel bar. She has been hit on by other women since she had been there. I’m truly not threatened by it. Because I know she is coming home to me, and I’m very secure in the strength of our relationship. That’…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 03:03 PM
1

Yes I have. No it has never gotten uncomfortable. No, they never made any moves. I am including both male friends that have always only been platonic friends, as well as male friends who I had a former sexual relationship with but don’t any longer.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 11:17 PM
1

If I had to pick one it would be top right, but ideally I would prefer less boob and more belly.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 07:23 PM
1

We’ve only been married for a year and a half. I dated and had relationships with men exclusively until I was almost 40.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 12:06 PM
3

Sure, if that’s what you wanted and intended to do in the first place. Surely you can appreciate the difference between choosing that yourself vs your partner trying to force it on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 12:04 PM
2

Heterosexuality would be my best guess. Or heteronormativity and/or homophobia in some cases. Because I can tell you without a doubt that relationships with women are so much better.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 04:56 AM
3

You can have a lot of casual sex while not in a relationship and still remain monogamous while in a relationship. It’s not that difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 04:33 AM
3

You are dreaming if you believe that these women aren’t cherry picked.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 04:13 AM
1

That’s definitely not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 06:09 PM
1

No idea what you’re referring to.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 07:32 PM
2

No? It was just as common then.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 06:16 PM
32

The six feet tall “rule” is not anything new. It was common when I was in high school over 25 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 02:01 AM
–

It did a lot more when I was younger, because I learned to equate abuse with love to the point where abusive behaviors felt normal and even comfortable to a degree. Over time I learned how to recognize and avoid those kinds of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 07:20 AM
–

I’m working class and every partner I have had has been working class. All I honestly care about is that they’re doing something they don’t mind doing, and ideally enjoy to some degree. And that one way or another we are able to get by.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 05:22 AM
–

The first one, no contest. There is just nothing that compares to having someone who loves everything about you and doesn’t expect you to be anything other than who you actually are.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 04:40 AM
1

My circle tends to be mostly other LGBTQ folks, and their partners (several of whom are cis-het). I’m still good friends with one of my exes who is bi, and he’s currently on like his 10th girlfriend (who is bi as well).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 04:09 AM
1

Several of the guys I have dated were bisexual, and all of them have had a solid number of relationships with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 03:51 AM
2

That’s not entirely true. I’m really not feminine at all and never have been, and very very few men are attracted to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 03:07 AM
1

Do you want the kind of woman who expects traditional masculinity for a partner? Being unapologetically myself has drastically limited the percentage of people who are attracted to me, but I didn’t like having to pretend to be something I wasn’t to keep the interest of someone who wasn’t a good match for me anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 03:03 AM
4

Even in those situations, she’s not staying at home. Do you have any idea how time consuming it is to run a small business? For most people in the middle class and below, that sort of thing really isn’t an option. A majority of working women are employed in service industries.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 08:42 PM
3

Did it for a while. It didn’t work out because he basically sat on his ass all day playing video games. I still had to do 100% of the housework. It wouldn’t be possible at this point, because I’m disabled and can’t earn enough to support two people.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 05:37 AM
1

Hollister is a bad example because they don’t use diverse female models either. If Men’s Wearhouse started using more diverse models, I guarantee you that no women would care.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 07:05 PM
1

Diversity in female models is a relatively recent phenomenon, and it’s a direct response to consumer feedback. Women wanted to see more diversity represented in ad campaigns for products that they are the consumers of, and asked for that. If men want to see more diversity in male models, they can ask companies for that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 03:31 AM
1

I think the biggest thing I would be concerned about is how exactly this came about, since my daughter has a job she really enjoys, is in a stable happy relationship with a blue collar guy her age, and isn’t particularly financially motivated. If it were something that she genuinely wanted to be doing, and she’s mentally and physically safe while doing it, then it’s her life and her business. If any of those things were not the case, though, I would do whatever needed to be done to help her out …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 01:25 AM
10

I’ve had many times the average number of lifetime sexual partners, and it still only averages out to around three per year that I have been sexually active.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 04:54 AM
6

They can do that. I have gotten prescribed medications for off label uses before.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 03:53 AM
3

I think ideally that should be something a couple is on the same page on fairly early on in the relationship, and something that gets discussed before any jobs requiring a lot of travel are accepted. In my own relationship, it’s not an issue. My wife and I trust each other. She is currently in another city for work training for five weeks. We miss each other, but it’s going to lead to a $10 an hour raise when she’s finished, and all of her travel is expenses and lodging are company paid. It was …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 03:49 AM
2

Losing one’s job can be for a whole lot of different reasons. Many of which may very well be indicators of a larger issue (substance abuse, anger management issues, sexually predatory behavior towards coworkers or subordinates, etc.) The reason that the husband lost his job could very well be a bigger factor than just the fact that he lost it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 03:50 PM
5

She most definitely didn’t have an issue with it. Just because someone doesn’t use some particular substance that doesn’t mean that they are bothered if someone else does, or that it goes against their “principles”. She’s just not that into the feeling of being high, and she works in automotive so it’s not worth the risk of being randomed to her. I don’t like alcohol but she does, so I’m the DD when we go to bars, and no I’m not bothered by her having drinks either.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 03:01 PM
1

The hell are you talking about? You can hang out with someone who smokes weed without using it yourself. My wife doesn’t smoke at all, and I used to do it regularly until very recently. It wasn’t an issue for either of us at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 11:40 AM
7

My experience has been that men don’t even value my more traditional “feminine” qualities, let alone my qualities that aren’t traditionally feminine. They take those qualities completely for granted. I have very solid cooking skills that I’ve spent a lifetime improving upon and perfecting. My male exes just kind of expected me to do the cooking and rarely, if ever, complimented me on it. You know who does really appreciate my cooking? My wife and my daughter. And my (female) best friend. Hell, e…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 08:37 AM
2

I had guys on OLD platforms go out of their way to message me (with zero provocation) to tell me that they were not interested in me specifically because I had a kid. I don’t know if that happens much to men but I kinda doubt it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 05:37 PM
1

Nope. I’m just observant.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 02:42 AM
1

Or I could just look at my much more attractive wife instead. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 06:04 PM
2

I’d rather work a low wage job for the rest of my life than have to look at a naked middle aged man even once.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:25 PM
1

Choose better women. Really. My ex husband moved in with my wife and I several months ago and we’ve been supporting him financially with zero pressure from us to find employment (he is looking because he’s bored as shit). Even though the marriage didn’t work out, he’s my family, and I take care of my family.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 03:41 PM
0

I’ve turned down men that I thought were attractive because I was in a relationship already. At any given time, a majority of women are.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 03:32 PM
3

I genuinely don’t mind if a guy shoots his shot. What I do mind is when he continues to bother me after I have said no. I think it’s also important to be mindful of the circumstances and surroundings. If she’s alone and there aren’t a lot of people around, and/or she is in a situation where she is likely to feel cornered (on a train or at a bus stop or whatever) then it’s best to leave it be. Either way you really can’t go through life not making any moves because someone may not like it or resp…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 05:11 PM
5

You basically have to go into it expecting that to be the outcome. Just because a woman rejects you doesn’t mean that she doesn’t find you attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 05:06 PM
2

Well, that’s a refreshing change of pace for this sub! I do really appreciate your response, and your willingness to look into it. 😁
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 04:06 AM
1

Or maybe you could just listen to actual queer people on this instead of thinking you know shit, because it would kill your to admit that maybe you don’t know everything. You are either straight or not straight. It’s a binary.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 12:40 AM
1

That’s…. not how it works. Bisexual people are not straight. Period.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 11:21 PM
2

You really think Lizzo only achieved success because of her size? She was on the radio long before anyone besides her fans knew what she looked like. The Fat Boys had an album called Chillin’ with the Refrigerator, ffs. DJ Khaled was in a movie in 2020. There’s also the fact that Christopher Wallace was 24 when he was killed. If he were still alive I have a feeling he would be on TV along with Snoop, and Ludacris, and Flava Flav, and Queen Latifah, and Ice T, etc etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 05:43 PM
2

So it’s not that you actually want a body positivity movement for men (ignoring the fact that the early fat acceptance movement included a whole lot of men), it that you don’t want women to have a body positivity movement for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 05:34 PM
1

Bisexual doesn’t mean part straight, part gay. 🙄 But by all means, go ahead and mansplain bisexuality to a bisexual person.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 04:21 PM
2

Oh, I totally agree with that. Straight men also typically won touch anything seen as “feminine” with a ten foot pole, unless they’re already very secure in themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:52 PM
1

That’s a fairly low estimation of men’s deductive reasoning skills, but okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:49 PM
1

What you describing is called “bisexual”. Bisexual people are by definition not straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:48 PM
1

DJ Khaled. Way before him was Notorious B.I.G. and The Fat Boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:18 PM
2

So you think straight fat men are all social pariahs because of their weight, but aren’t smart enough to realize it? Okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:17 PM
3

It not for other people. It’s for fat men who currently feel left out of the movement. Do men just expect this to happen spontaneously?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:14 PM
2

Then why are straight men more likely to be fat than straight women?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 10:28 AM
3

Nobody is becoming a lesbian to avoid being alone. Ffs. If it’s just that simple then why don’t all the men who are desperate for sex just start fucking each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 08:42 AM
2

Lesbians are definitely not usually asexual. 😒
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 08:41 AM
1

I can really only speak to lesbians, but generally speaking, being fat does not really reduce your options much when you’re trying to attract other women. You can be fat and still be hot as hell to a lot of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 08:33 AM
2

There are male plus size models, first off. Second, if men want to be included in the body positivity movement then they need to get involved. The body positivity movement (as we currently know it) started entirely as a grassroots effort on blogs and social media. There have always been some men involved, though most of them are LGBTQ+. Nobody is stopping straight men from using body positive hashtags on their Instagram pics.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 07:29 AM
1

40% is the average. That doesn’t mean every man swipes right on roughly 40% of women’s profiles. I have male friends who right swipe every single profile, and male friends who swipe right on fewer than 10%.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 07:10 AM
1

Not sure what you’re trying to say. Filing is generally the first step. You can’t move forward without filing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 07:42 PM
1

You still have to file, even if it’s settled in mediation.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 07:27 PM
2

Haha! I guess so.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 01:22 AM
5

I saw it posted on PPD as recently as yesterday.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 01:09 AM
2

Show me evidence that the body positivity movement was started for amputees and people with deformities. I see this repeated constantly but I have never seen any actual evidence that this is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 11:18 PM
–

Being totally financially dependent on someone sucks. Even though I have an awesome relationship with my wife, and she is totally fine with being the sole income earner of the family, I get bored shitless and frustrated being home all day and not having my own income. I had to give up a 17 year career due to health issues a few years ago, and for periods of time my wife had to pay most or all of the bills. I have put a lot of effort into finding something else I’m able to retrain to do, because …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 07:33 AM
3

Autistic, regardless of whatever other qualities he has. I can’t relate to neurotypicals enough to have any kind of serious relationship with one. I feel like we’re barely the same species.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 05:56 AM
3

My understanding is that around half of single mothers were married at the time of having their kids. In terms of dating, it doesn’t really matter. Being 25 and divorced with a kid or two makes you a lot less attractive, at least for any kind of serious relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 05:53 AM
2

If all else fails, you are divorced young with kids. Don’t forget that part. Then you get to date as one of those oh-so sought after single moms. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 03:01 AM
1

I think we would have to lay them underwater for them to be fertilized externally. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:38 AM
2

Like hell am I pushing out eggs that size.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:34 AM
2

Yeah, these dudes are definitely putting zero effort into styling themselves. It’s incredibly easy for me to get attention from women here because so few men put any effort into their appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 07:40 PM
–

I didn’t have an orgasm at all until I was with my 9th partner. Since then I’ve been with many many more, and it’s easier than it’s ever been.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:31 PM
2

Yeah, not very many are meeting even that bare minimum. I work in a public setting (warehouse club store) and get to do a whole lot of people watching. The number of stereotypical neckbeards I see on a daily basis is astonishing. I’m talking obese, unkempt, anime t shirt with tears and/or stains, sweatpants. A lot of those neckbeards have wives/girlfriends too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 06:00 AM
5

Lol ok
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:50 PM
7

Nobody is upset about these guys removing themselves from the dating pool. But I don’t exactly have feelings of fondness towards men who have effed up misogynistic attitudes towards western women (and expect to find their perfect submissive, docile tradwife in another country).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 08:20 PM
1

I think a lot of this can be solved by having a conversation early on in the dating phase. There isn’t a one size fits all answer as to how to approach the issue of consent. It’s going to depend very heavily on the likes, dislikes, and needs of the person you’re going out with. There is nothing wrong with asking your date how they personally feel about verbal vs non verbal consent, and finding out what they prefer and are most comfortable with. Getting it out of the way early can also help if it…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 03:53 AM
5

The body positive movement was started by fat women, and the inclusion of disabled bodies was called for by fat disabled women. I have never seen any evidence to the contrary, but I have seen many many people repeat the lie that the movement was co-opted by fat women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 03:35 AM
2

I want evidence that the body positivity movement was originally started by or intended for disabled people.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 03:25 AM
2

Where is the evidence of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 03:20 AM
3

“Just don’t be fat” Or have male friends Or use social media Or have political opinions Or have mental health issues Or have a crappy childhood Or have unpolished nails Or vacation in Vegas Or dislike insects 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 02:16 AM
1

Surgery for prolapse is typically only done in the most extreme cases because whether you have more children or not, it does not last very long and will need to be repeated. Most of the time we just have to live with it. Do you understand what the definition of poverty is? Expenses are not a factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 03:25 PM
2

Pelvic organ prolapse is a degenerative condition. Meaning it gets worse over time. Stop acting like you know anything about the risks of pregnancy. You can also stop acting like you know anything about poverty, because expenses are not a factor. It only determined by household size vs total household income/
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 03:08 PM
1

I didn’t say anything about divorce, but since you opened that door, women are at significantly higher risk of living in poverty after divorce than men are. As for risks of pregnancy, there are many, and some are very common. The risk of pelvic organ prolapse after pregnancy is about 35%.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 11:59 AM
1

Do you think death is the only risk of pregnancy?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 05:55 AM
7

I think for many people (not all) it’s less of a matter of “ignoring” red flags, and more of a matter of just not being able to see them. If you are raised in a dysfunctional environment, then many abusive behaviors become normalized to you. You may come to equate those behaviors with love, so they feel comfortable and normal to you. It can take many years and a lot of work and self reflection to be able to recognize red flags and avoid them. Some people never get a handle on it, unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 05:19 AM
1

You really need to work on your reading comprehension. I said that foreign women are fine. The only people I don’t want here are men who hate Western women. I don’t think I could have possibly been more clear about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 04:30 AM
0

No? Go back and read it again. Slowly this time.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 04:12 AM
1

No, closer to my age for women. I’m much more attracted to women my age than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 10:52 PM
3

When I was in my late 30’s I hooked up with some younger guys, but most of them were in the 25-30 range. Younger than that seems kinda creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 09:16 PM
1

Explain to me how that makes sense to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 08:46 PM
-1

Wow, I had no idea you were such an expert on how women respond to being approached by other women. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 06:50 PM
2

No they’re fine. But the men who hate Western women are not welcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 06:48 PM
4

As long as they leave, and stay gone, I’m all about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 04:07 PM
1

Oh but I thought women literally threw themselves at tall muscular men though. Y’all can’t even stick to one narrative. There’s also the fact that any random woman you approach has a higher probability of being straight than not. So tell me again how much easier it is for lesbians to get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 04:04 PM
1

So you’re saying that women (even straight ones) would much rather sleep with a lesbian than any given random man? Interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 11:17 AM
1

Keep telling yourself that. If dick is so great, then why can’t most men even give it away for free? Think about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 11:16 AM
4

I don’t have an issue with the entire list. But the idea that many of those are specifically “feminine” qualities is pretty barf too. So if a man is loving, caring, supportive, agreeable and affectionate then he’s effeminate?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 11:13 AM
3

Lesbians have orgasms much more often than straight women. Die mad about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 05:54 AM
7

Barf
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 04:52 AM
1

I mean it’s awkward for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 04:34 AM
1

A lot of them are. Women who get their heart broken by nerdy looking fat dudes just aren’t making videos about it on social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 02:47 AM
2

Oh yeah, men are nice to me. It’s when I show interest in them that shit gets real awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 02:30 AM
1

Nah, kids are way better than most adults anymore. They haven’t had a chance to be brainwashed yet, and they really like my shoes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:13 PM
–

Better yet, go to a support group for “recovering” sex addicts.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 08:43 AM
–

Who hurt me? Way more than one person, and nearly all of them were men. I still have several good friends who are men. I just won’t be involved with them sexually or romantically anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 08:26 AM
1

8 years was my all-time maximum.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 06:56 AM
0

Women do value a lot more than just looks, and men are also objectively less attractive on average. Both can be true.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 06:48 AM
1

Yeah. My dad is a Fox News zombie and retired pastor. Any questions?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 06:40 AM
-1

I have no idea what any of that means. I’m only familiar with eunuchs in relation to like… ancient religious practices and stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 06:38 AM
0

I’m… not sure what you’re getting at.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 03:20 AM
0

A lot of antidepressants have been found to reduce libido and make it more difficult to orgasm. Most men would probably benefit from psychiatric medications anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 03:17 AM
1

I only buy clothes from the men’s section. Checkmate.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 03:08 AM
10

Don’t need to. Conservatives are fucking things up with their kids just fine on their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:56 AM
1

I mean it’s kind of a dumb reason, but whatever floats your boat. I get all the pussy I want and I still don’t want to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:24 AM
2

I’m aware. And you’re an idiot.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 10:30 PM
2

My wife is a lesbian. She doesn’t like men. She’s not attracted to men. She doesn’t ever want a man to touch her.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 09:43 PM
2

As long as sperm banks are also publicly funded, I don’t personally see an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 09:39 PM
1

Dude. They are using the sperm bank because they don’t want to fuck some hot smart guy. If they wanted to just rawdog a Chad, they’d be doing that instead of paying several hundred dollars for a jar of baby batter. Not everyone wants to fuck Chad. My wife is disgusted by the idea of having sex with a man. If she decided she wanted a baby, she’s not going to be fucking any dudes, period.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 09:37 PM
1

You can pay for eggs and a surrogate mother too if you want to. The cost is higher due to the significantly larger risks and requirements to the woman than, say, jerking off into a specimen cup. But that option does exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 09:31 PM
-1

Upbringing or early defining sexual experiences/awakenings.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 08:34 PM
6

Yeah, that’s illegal in a lot of countries. So if he’s not living in one of them, then it’s a part of that culture. Either way he sounds like a douche canoe.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 05:39 PM
31

No, not even a consideration for me. Since your uncle clearly comes from a culture where polygamy is practiced, that it surely a factor. When women are raised from birth with the expectation that they will be submissive to their husband, most will just do it. Dissent would be dangerous in that situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 02:33 AM
6

So, it’s not really about “male approval”. The men could literally be anyone, and they’re basically interchangeable and disposable for the most part. For me it was basically about wanting to have control over my own life and sexuality rather than someone else deciding for me. It did go to an unhealthy place for a while (not the sex itself, but the fact that I was taking a lot of risks that I shouldn’t have). For whatever it’s worth though, a few of the men I hooked up with turned into solid frie…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 11:16 PM
6

I’m ND and I find NT men to be somewhat boring and off putting. I rarely even have close friendships with NT people. All of my LTRs have been with ND people.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 08:36 PM
1

I’ve never been opposed to it when I’m not in a relationship, but I much prefer being in a monogamous relationship. That said, I’m not always ready to get into another one right away after a LTR ends. My LTRs have ranged from 4-8 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 03:39 PM
2

They may just not tell you about it. My male family members would say the same thing, I’m sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 10:49 AM
2

When we talk about bad experiences with men, I can assure you that we’re not talking about a date being unattractive and too persistent. We’re talking about actual sexual assault. About being followed and screamed at by a stranger because we didn’t respond in the right way to his advances. We’re talking about grown men making lewd comments towards us while we were still children. About male family members making inappropriate comments, and attempting to, or succeeding at, sexually assaulting us.…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 06:45 AM
3

Are you really implying that having terrifying experiences once a year isn’t that big of a deal? I’m betting if you got mugged at gunpoint once a year, it would probably affect you negatively, and probably change your behavior and beliefs about your safety in various way.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:32 AM
–

Being treated well by my SO is just the baseline, and I’m in agreement with the other commenters who say that that is something that should be shown, rather than told. If someone treats me well but we have totally different values, and incompatible senses of humor, that’s not going to work for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 02:15 PM
1

Yeah, well that kind of seems like it was the guys’ decision to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 09:07 PM
1

Most of them didn’t start out that heavy, and many of them are being cared for by other family members.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 04:32 PM
2

She gets paid to be on the show. She makes more money than most people with jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 03:25 PM
2

There is no evidence to suggest that people will just get thinner if we make it hard for them to buy clothing. That’s a ridiculous take.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 04:57 AM
1

Dove soap is made by Unilever. Dove chocolate is made by Mars. Not the same company.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 04:56 AM
1

That’s not even true. I have seen plus sized models modeling plus sized clothing on SEA websites. It’s a bit harder to find, but they exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 04:42 AM
1

I’ve always been much more attracted to fat guys, and my best friend is the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 04:37 AM
2

“Find things beautiful as much as you can, most people find too little beautiful.” — Vincent van Gogh
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 04:32 AM
2

I don’t even know how much my exes made. It wasn’t very much, and we did ok. We got by. That’s all I expect income-wise from a partner, is that between the two of us we are able to get by.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 08:25 PM
3

No, they can’t. An older woman with a younger man creeps me out just as much, and I’m hardly the only one who feels that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 11:45 AM
2

I have tried larger deficits, smaller deficits. It doesn’t matter. It’s impossible to lose weight without losing some lean mass btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 10:00 AM
-1

That exactly what I have done before and I still had that issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 07:29 AM
-2

When I lose too much weight I also lose lean mass, and then I don’t have enough to support my joints. The pain and loss of function aren’t worth it to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 12:57 AM
-5

Guess what? Not everyone who is fat is interested in losing weight! I work out because I have hypermobility syndrome, and if I don’t I have really severe pain from it. Losing weight has always made my pain worse, so I won’t do it anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 08:30 PM
0

100%! My wife and I have almost zero common interests. We don’t even like the same music, movies or tv shows. But we have the same values, and it just kinda works.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 08:28 PM
1

According to the latest US Census data, the numbers of trans men and trans women are about even.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 03:26 PM
2

Pretty much every man I have dated has had one or more of those physical “flaws”. I can’t believe I’m having to even say this, but what I liked about them was their personalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 12:10 AM
7

I wasn’t willing to when my kid was still living at home, but after they moved out I was fine with it. My wife doesn’t have any kids, but she has dated a lot of single moms.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 06:48 AM
9

What your idea of a solution? Forcing women into being broodmares? We’ll have to figure it out somehow. Oh well.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 05:01 AM
7

That why I’m not with a man. My (younger) wife still thinks I’m hot as hell. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 05:00 AM
12

There are plenty of people out there who don’t want kids. Most people who want kids wind up having some, however they choose to do that. Having fewer kids also contributes to that. I only wanted one so I only had one. My mom had two and adopted one. My grandma had eight.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 04:19 AM
8

It’s probably because I spent my early 20’s surviving the Alaskan wilderness.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 04:16 AM
25

Every feminist I know who has wanted kids (which is most of them) has had kids. A few chose to adopt because they didn’t want to pass down genetic illnesses or for other reasons. Most have just given birth. Also, getting older as a woman is fucking fantastic! Men treat me like an actual human being rather than a sex object. They still hold doors for me and let me get on the bus first, they just don’t look at my ass as I pass by them. I can actually have pleasant conversations with men that never…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 03:54 AM
1

No, I don’t like using makeup at all. I don’t look like myself and I find it to be very unsettling.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 10:11 PM
1

No. I already felt like I didn’t look like myself. Contouring looks creepy to me, and doesn’t look that good in real life vs photos.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 09:35 PM
6

Ugly women get unwanted sexually charged attention from men too. It’s not flattering or pleasant regardless of what you look like. In fact, it often worse for us, because many men take personal offense to being turned down by a woman that he feels is beneath him. They’re much more likely to go on a tirade, and insult your appearance if you say say no. Ask me how I know. I have pics of myself in my post history. I’m not attractive and never have been. If you say you have heard women complain abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 09:32 PM
14

I have literally never seen a woman complain about lack of attention from men. I * have* seen women revel in how nice it is that they no longer have to deal with it since getting older. I can absolutely relate. It’s so refreshing to be treated like a human being and not a walking fleshlight. Men don’t ignore older women. They tend to be kind to us.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 07:55 PM
32

Many many women here (myself included) have very specifically said that male attention is not flattering at all, for this very reason. It aggravating, annoying, and at times very dangerous, but flattering? Not at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 05:13 PM
3

Lol, wtf are you talking about? Both of the pics I used were from 5 years ago. I don’t wear makeup anymore because it’s a pain in the ass and because I never liked how I looked with it on. I didn’t feel like myself. I felt like I was wearing a mask. I was required to wear it for my job (in cosmetology, so I doubt that I just sucked at it) and as soon as I quit working in that field I cut my hair short and never put makeup on again. My wife loves how I look now, so there’s absolutely zero benefit…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 04:25 PM
5

I wouldn’t say that I’m bad at it. It just doesn’t really make that much of the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 12:31 PM
6

My skin tone is already smooth and even. Makeup just does nothing to change the shape or proportions of my face.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 10:45 AM
23

Yeah, Idk. I put a photo of me with makeup on photoeval.com, and then a photo of me with no makeup, and the no makeup pic had a slightly higher rating. I don’t think it makes nearly as much of a dramatic difference for most people as you seem to think it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 05:13 AM
1

Yes, I’m bisexual, though I was not out until my mid 30’s. I don’t know what to tell you, but I was most definitely considered weird and creepy for most of my life. Now I’m mostly just weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 04:18 AM
0

I do not relate to that meme in the slightest. On the rare occasions that I have gotten attention from someone due to my looks, it has been an exceedingly negative experience. I actively avoid doing anything to invite that sort of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 01:00 AM
–

I can only speak for myself, but it’s been pretty detrimental for me. Not many people are willing to deal with that, especially if they’re not mentally ill also. I have no problems having a relationship with someone who also struggles with mental health issues, but it’s a very complicated and difficult dynamic to navigate.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/23 08:22 PM
–

Is this a question?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/23 08:03 PM
2

As someone who has historically had a great deal of difficulty in the past with mental health issues, this isn’t even remotely true. It has scared off a whole lot of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/23 11:53 AM
1

It’s completely possible to be open about your feelings without using your partner as a therapist. If you need a therapist, go to an actual therapist. Deep seated trauma that consistently effects your day to day life is not something your partner can fix for you. If you find yourself talking about the same things on a regular basis, and nothing ever gets better for you, then you need an actual therapist.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/23 11:50 AM
1

I posted it because you keep insisting that being fuckzoned is the same thing as a pump and dump. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/23 11:36 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/oad6jd/f_zone/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 11:27 AM
–

I’m not qualified to say whether or not this is the case for you, but you might be aromantic? I am only saying this because I find romance to be performative in many ways as well, and I identify as aro. Some people who are aromantic are romance negative or romance adverse, but certainly not all of us. My wife is alloromantic (basically means “not aromantic”) and she really appreciates romantic gestures as they make her feel loved and appreciated. I don’t really need those kinds of gestures in re…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 03:20 AM
-1

You not getting what I’m saying. She’s not sleeping with him. She doesn’t want to sleep with him. She thinks they are friends, and values his friendship only to find out that he was only talking to her and hanging out with her because he wanted to fuck her. It’s the literal exact opposite of being “friend zoned”. The guy who complains about being friend zoned was fuck zoning the girl/woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 03:05 AM
0

I’m not sure about TRP in particular, but some of the PÚA stuff is fairly effective, at least on certain women. I think part of it is that they have to be open to being picked up in the first place though? I won’t even lie, I pulled some fuckboy moves when I started dating women instead of men, and it worked pretty well. The biggest difference being that I actually wanted a long term relationship, and once I managed to attract someone who wanted that, my fuckboy days were mostly over. She’s stil…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 12:28 AM
6

Fuckzoning doesn’t always mean that she wants a romantic relationship with the guy. Sometimes she just wants to be friends and is dismayed to find out that his only interest in her was sexual. That’s what the tweet that initially coined that term was talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 11:24 PM
-2

Not if she doesn’t want sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 11:04 PM
3

To add to what the OP had already said; I know what I look like. It comes across as disingenuous when dudes make sexual comments about me out of nowhere, because I know it isn’t true. I know they just look at me and assume that I’ll be “easy” because I’m unattractive and therefore probably don’t get a lot of male attention. It’s fucking gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 04:59 PM
2

Sometimes we wind up attracting a certain type of partner for reasons that are largely outside of our control. It sucks, and we don’t deserve that. I can’t tell you why it happened to you, but for me I suspect that it’s due to my history of mental illness, and neurodivergence, as well as having survived physical and emotional abuse as a child. Those things often make people more likely to wind up in a relationship with an abusive partner. I can tell you that what helped me break that cycle was a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 04:33 PM
1

Yes, I have. We met when we lived in the same dormitory in college. He was no taller than 5’6” and morbidly obese with bad acne all over his face and upper body. Initially I was very attracted to his overt confidence, but over the course of our brief relationship he let on in various ways that he was insecure about his looks. My friends thought I was out of my mind. We broke up because he assaulted me while he was drunk, and campus police got involved. I was still very attracted to him, but once…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 07:36 AM
8

There are standards you should never lower, specifically in relation to how that person treats you (and other people). If the best you can attract is someone who treats you like crap, then you are better off being single. This applies to casual sex partners as well. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 07:20 AM
5

I’m not attractive. I don’t receive a lot of attention, except occasionally online from Nigerian scammers, and street harassment from dudes who are seriously mentally unwell. I’ve been rejected by a lot of average and below average looking guys. I’ve been ignored for my more attractive friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 05:01 AM
2

Yes, it could mean that, and/or escalating things physically.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 04:56 AM
2

No. As long as I know he is actually interested (like he has made it clear upon my asking and whatnot) then I will just take the reigns from there.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 02:20 AM
2

Just throwing this out there, but just because someone searches for any given porn category, that doesn’t mean they necessarily getting off to it. Often it’s just morbid curiosity.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 04:47 PM
1

I’ve done it before when I wasn’t looking for anything serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 02:12 AM
–

I have had a couple of relationships end because i wanted to get married and he didn’t. What are you basing your views on?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 11:35 PM
1

My ex came across as a harmless, affable, nice guy. In reality he was an absolutely evil person. Lying and manipulation came as naturally to him as breathing. It took me a long time to figure that out. The first time he physically assaulted me, we had been together for five years. I pretended to forgive him, but I made a plan and left a week later. He is now in prison serving time for sexual assault.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 03:39 PM
1

My ex came across as a harmless, affable, nice guy. In reality he was an absolutely evil person. Lying and manipulation came as naturally to him as breathing. It took me a long time to figure that out. The first time he physically assaulted me, we had been together for five years. I pretended to forgive him, but I made a plan and left a week later. He is now in prison serving time for sexual assault.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 03:38 PM
2

I don’t think it’s super uncommon. Quite a few of my male friends in college were in that situation (back in 1997-1999) and they’re all married or in long term relationships now.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 04:31 AM
1

No, not tall. I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 22. In addition to having ADHD.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 03:09 PM
9

Yes, really.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 03:54 AM
28

As a ND woman, I have lost track of the number of dudes who have rejected me because they thought I was weird, creepy, or dangerous.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 02:20 AM
1

Being treated like someone’s shameful kink really isn’t flattering.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 02:11 AM
1

That’s what I thought. You have nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 01:39 AM
–

Then show some current data or stfu. Show some proof that women are only messaging below average guys more for free food. Show some evidence that below average looking men don’t overwhelmingly wind up in relationships at some point.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 01:17 AM
3

https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2019/11/20/study-men-get-more-stressed-when-their-wives-make-more-money.html
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 01:14 AM
1

There are a lot of men who will jerk off to a fat woman, and maybe even have sex with one, but not date her.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 12:18 AM
1

My wife is a lesbian and she prefers women who are shorter than her. Some lesbians prefer a taller partner. Some like to be around the same height. Some don’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 12:13 AM
1

Yes, we’ve all seen that cherry picked data, but what is never shown is that women also sent a majority of their messages to men they had just rated as below average. I was on Okcupid in 2009. It was a total neckbeard party.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 11:58 PM
1

I did that. Twice. It was such a waste of my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 07:10 PM
1

That’s a whole lot of time and effort to invest in a relationship on a solid “maybe”. My kid is grown and moved out. I don’t want another one. It’s much easier just to be with a woman who doesn’t act like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 03:49 PM
5

Yeah, most guys do until you live with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 03:30 AM
27

My wife works full time at an incredibly physically demanding job (diesel mechanic at a truck stop garage) and she still gets up early on her days off and cleans the whole apartment. If she can do it, then so can a dude. Attitudes like those in the OP are a lot of the reason I vastly prefer having a female partner. It actually feels like an equal partnership. I’m not having all the work dumped on me regardless of my work hours and financial contributions.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 11:57 PM
2

He said that he bet my shits were really smooth because my profile said I was vegan. I’m not a princess or anything, so I just “lol’ed” and changed the subject but he wouldn’t drop it. My dude was almost definitely trying to push his scat fetish upon me. 😒
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 11:33 PM
15

Unsolicited dick pic, like completely out of nowhere. Wouldn’t stop asking me to describe my bowel movements in detail. Spent half of the first date texting his mom. (these were all different dudes)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 10:43 AM
1

Who says I don’t? We’re not together 100% of the time. We both have jobs and work opposite shifts.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/23 03:48 PM
4

I like drawing and making art in my free time, but no, I do not want to do that for someone else as my job. Btdt, and fucking hated it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 09:27 PM
4

Women are not a monolith. Some women like wearing makeup. Some do not. I have had jobs before where I was required to wear it, and I did not like it. I didn’t like the expense of having to buy it, the time it took to apply it and remove it, and I didn’t recognize myself when I looked in the mirror. Now that I have left that industry I do not wear any makeup at all and I have no desire to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 09:18 PM
3

Income: don’t care Height: don’t care Weight: don’t care Skin color: don’t care Hair color: prefer red, but not a requirement Eye color: don’t care Lip color: who the fuck even think a about lip color? Age range: mid 30’s to late 40’s I guess Breast size: don’t care/not required Dick size: don’t care/ not required I have very high standards, they just don’t include any of these things.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 04:22 PM
1

Sure thing bud.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 05:20 AM
2

Not all of us have male partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 04:05 AM
2

I wasn’t a member of this sub specifically before I got married, but the subject was something I had an interest in, and I talked/debated about on other subs. ETA: my interest in PPD, I think, stems from my background of having been raised in purity culture, at the same time as growing up around male relatives who were sexually abusive. I’ve seen the dark side of what men are capable of, as well as the deep harm of purity culture and heteronormativity.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 03:51 AM
0

I’m aware. That’s why I married a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 03:26 AM
4

If you’re not attracted to them or compatible with them, then it honestly doesn’t matter how exceptional they might be.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 09:43 PM
3

That’s just how it is? Why would you even want to be with someone who doesn’t think you measure up?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 08:37 PM
3

I think something that a lot of guys on PPD don’t really get is that it’s not really like building a D&D character. I’ve gone out with guys who checked every single one of my boxes including for looks, but the chemistry was just absent. And in other cases I’ve been physically repulsed upon first meeting them but then we had chemistry off the charts. Attraction is weird and unpredictable. Just because any given woman isn’t attracted to you, that doesn’t mean there is necessarily anything about yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 08:12 PM
1

I’m saying that this statement is false: “Men aren't more likely to assault someone the longer they're around them. It's not some temptation we have to constantly fight against and eventually succumb to.” How you got from that that I’m saying fear of strangers isn’t rational, is beyond me. I’ve been sexually assaulted and harassed by strangers as well as people I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 06:57 PM
–

Your mileage may vary, but I have messaged guys looking for FWB if they seem normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 06:44 PM
–

I’ve btdt and this mirrors my experience significantly. The behavior of the vast majority of men turned me off to the point where I didn’t want sex from men at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 06:23 PM
3

I mean that when women are assaulted by someone they know, it’s often after years of knowing them, and that person gaining her trust. I’m not sure how you got out of what I said that I think that most men will do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 06:07 PM
2

Often that is precisely how it happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 05:55 PM
12

In my case it was the male relatives who presented the actual danger.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 05:49 PM
3

Because of the numerous actual terrifying experiences I have had with men. I wasn’t always this wary.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 05:48 PM
-1

Man, all you have to do to have success as a woman dating other women is take an active role and make the first moves. Women are socialized nearly from birth to take a passive role (Cinderella, Snow White, etc.) and that sort of programming affects queer women too. To the point where the “useless lesbian” is a whole meme.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 05:25 PM
2

I had an easier time meeting women on tinder than I did men. I think straight men are the only ones who have issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 01:52 PM
1

Wtf are you smoking? “I’m not interested, and I want nothing to do with you on any level” is much more hurtful than “I just want to be friends”.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 10:00 AM
3

My answer is the same whether I am hypothetically with a man or a woman. I’m not sure how the gender of one partner would even matter under this hypothetical scenario. Any gender can give any other gender oral sex (or refuse to do so).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 08:24 AM
1

I didn’t say that I wasn’t attracted to men. I’m just a lot more attracted to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 07:32 AM
2

Lifting heaving objects feels incredible though?!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 06:29 AM
-1

Most women don’t have breast or butt implants. SMH. Some women even have breast reductions (I did when I was 19 and have absolutely no regrets). There are all kinds of fashion and makeup trends that men hate, and women follow those trends anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 06:18 AM
2

The biggest problem here isn’t the lack of oral sex, it’s that he’s a man. Once I started dating women, men became a whole lot less attractive to me. But let’s say it was my girlfriend or wife instead, and let’s say this was something I actually cared about. Why is she my girlfriend/wife in the first place? I’m assuming that in this scenario this is something she has never done for me. So why would I want to even date her? If she started doing it and then stopped, I would want to know why.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 05:55 AM
6

Men think they want women to approach them, but the reality is that most find it off-putting. Especially if he doesn’t particularly find her attractive. Since women are socialized to take a more passive role in dating, men tend to think there is something wrong with you if you don’t adhere to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 12:22 AM
2

I’ve stayed friends with people (all men) who have rejected me before. If I liked them enough to be interested in them romantically, then I like them enough to be friends with them. I’m glad that I didn’t lose out on having any kind of relationship with them. Sure it stings, initially, but you get over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 12:03 AM
0

Only because I typically date fat ugly broke guys, and there are five men to every woman on those sites.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 12:01 AM
10

That was my thought as well. Once I find someone I like, I delete my profile until that relationship has run it’s course or ended for whatever reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 07:58 PM
1

Maybe part of it is that a lot of women do use dating apps, but then they meet someone fairly quickly and delete their profile? I’m not currently on any dating apps/websites, but that’s how I met my current partner as well as the last two before that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 07:52 PM
1

Being friends with someone isn’t “shit”. I love and care about my friends and would do anything for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 07:33 PM
–

Income isn’t even a factor. Behavior is.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 01:48 PM
1

The attention that men give women is more often than not unwanted and unwelcome, and men still act like they’re doing us a favor by giving it to us.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 01:28 PM
4

Men complain about and bully women for the unending attention that men give them. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 01:11 AM
9

I work at a grocery store. Entire families come in all day long.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 12:30 AM
2

Match.com has been around since at least 1997. Use wasn’t very widespread though, and it was kind of viewed as either sketchy or for nerds and losers. People who met online often made up another story about how they met because of the stigma. It was really when Tinder started up in 2012 that it became more mainstream and accepted. I met my second husband online in 2010. When we split up in 2018 and I went back to using Okcupid again, the landscape had changed a lot. Before 2012 it was mostly peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 07:49 PM
–

I’m just trying to figure out how on earth I would know what types of dates he had taken other women on in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 09:48 AM
2

I told my wife to send me a selfie and I used FaceApp to age her, and she was so cute I couldn’t even. I’m not even attracted to most men my age, let alone 20-30 years older. But old butch women are fucking adorable.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 02:56 AM
2

Why is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 02:35 AM
1

I’ve done similar types of sex work to OF in the past while I was dating someone, and I don’t have an issue with my partner consuming similar types of sex work to that while in a relationship. I don’t think that non monogamy is wrong within a relationship, it’s just not my preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 02:27 AM
–

Yeah, like I said. Not difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/23 10:39 PM
1

It’s fairly uncommon at this point in my life. I would say it averaged once a month or so until sometime around my late 30’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/23 05:18 AM
–

One of the best ways to avoid red pilled men is to be the sort of woman who repels them. It not hard to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/23 04:55 AM
1

In the past I have always smiled and flirted back. Now I’m just kind of awkward whether the person is attractive or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 08:28 PM
1

How does it do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 03:05 PM
1

Neither does “I’m not attracted to you”.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 02:23 PM
1

Then what’s the point of having it as an option in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 02:22 PM
1

Ok. My point still stands. How do the words “I don’t find you attractive” help you in some way that “you’re not my type” do not? Neither one gives you specific information on what about you they find unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 01:57 PM
1

Let’s assume for one second that someone not being attracted to you is a problem that can be solved, rather than just a basic incompatibility between two people: what makes you think that the words “I’m not attracted to you” tells you anything useful in that situation? It doesn’t tell you what about you isn’t attractive to her.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 01:28 PM
–

Lol yeah, this is the most self absorbed take of that situation possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 01:20 PM
0

This is so fucking stupid. Even without divorce, no one is going to force you to stick around if you don’t want to or can’t. I’m failing to see even one upside to this.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 10:40 AM
1

As if I would ever be able to attract a man with assets.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 01:49 AM
2

As someone who is ND, I have only had relationships with other ND people. I don’t relate to NT people, and they’re generally not all that comfortable with me either. Hell, my cousin who has Down’s Syndrome has had several girlfriends, and they all had cognitive disabilities as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 03:11 PM
1

One of my friends who considers himself to be blackpill had said that unironically on several occasions.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 03:30 AM
1

My type in women, yes. My type in men, no. Probably because my type in men have a strong tendency to either be religious or already married.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 02:53 PM
1

Some men view relationships very weirdly, seems like. My wife and I split domestic duties around 50/50 but it’s not like we need to sit down and fill out a spreadsheet to figure it out. We just both pitch in when things need to be done, and if one of us is exhausted or sick or not feeling well, the other will handle more chores than usual in order to give them a break. That’s just what you do when you care for someone. It seems like a lot of men here only think in terms of what they get out of i…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 05:54 AM
1

You think?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 08:59 PM
1

I have only ever seen men describe themselves as sapiosexual. That, and some of the smartest people I know work in low paying and low status jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 01:33 PM
1

I have been through decades of therapy and am perfectly able to have healthy relationships, but people still see that label and make assumptions about me because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 01:16 PM
1

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder when I was around 22, so yes. Yes I have. It sucks to know that a fairly large percentage of people hate me for something I had zero control over.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 04:21 AM
1

Truthfully I think that having your shit together becomes a lot more attractive to women as they go into their late 20’s and on. People (of any gender) who are younger are just less often looking for a life partner and more likely to be wanting to have fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/23 10:43 PM
4

Because some women are, in fact, dating guys who are seeing other women on the DL. It certainly isn’t all, or even most women who are concerned about that in particular. Some guys are very charismatic and use that to their advantage, and to the detriment of the women they pursue under false pretenses. That doesn’t mean that most women are dating those guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/23 06:20 PM
6

I’ve never made a fake account but I do date both women and men. Despite getting a lot of matches on tinder with men, I only ever met one in person. The vast majority I never heard from at all, and the few that did chat with me didn’t seem at all serious (asking for nudes, ghosting after we set a date, etc.). I had a much easier time with women. I got fewer matches but more engagement. I met up with three women in total, the third being my now wife. It was also just generally a much more pleasan…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/23 02:57 PM
3

So? What does that have to do with anything?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/23 02:19 AM
8

Guys lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 11:03 PM
15

They usually don’t know they sharing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 08:15 PM
1

Hard to say, because even the shortest, ugliest, fattest, and most obnoxious men I have gone out with have all had at least one past significant relationship under their belt. I’ve talked to a bunch of self identified incels though, and it was their personality 90% of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 11:07 AM
1

I wouldn’t even be able to guess at percentages. I had a personal policy of going out with any guy who asked me at least once, unless he had any major dealbreakers (religious, conservative values, chronically unemployed). If I declined to go out with him a second or third time, it was always due to his personality. I’m not really physically attracted to men at all, but they can become more or less attractive to me based on personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 09:36 AM
5

Dated a guy in high school for about a year and a half. He was 19 (I was 16) and had already graduated. I didn’t really even like him but none of the guys I had liked ever liked me back and I figured this was the only chance I would ever have to date. Over time he did his best to control me and isolate me from my friends. He was insanely jealous, and scary. After a while I had had enough of it, and I broke up with him. He quit his job in order to stalk me. When I walked to school in the morning,…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 09:05 AM
6

I gave my ex husband one of my kidneys while we were still married. The relationship was very rocky at that point and I didn’t think we were likely to make it for long after the transplant, but not giving it to him just wasn’t an option for me. It’s still working six years later and I have zero regrets.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 04:22 AM
2

Yeah, I mean there is that too. I don’t think it’s fair to expect a 17-18 year old to make the most sound life choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 03:35 AM
1

Not just loans. Credit cards also. And I was turned down for rentals because of it also. I got into five figure medical debt when I was 19, and it just kept growing from there. Never even had a chance to get a car loan or credit card until after I filed for bankruptcy and started over.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 03:33 AM
1

That’s definitely not the experience I have had.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 03:18 AM
-1

I’m not saying there aren’t any consequences for marrying someone with medical debt. I’m saying that it’s disingenuous to claim that you wouldn’t date someone with a high debt to income ratio because it’s a sign of poor life choices, when it’s the debt that is the issue, not the life choices that may or may not have led to it. Just be honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 01:19 AM
1

That’s quite a stretch that has nothing to do with what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 01:16 AM
-1

They absolutely do if it goes into collections
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 01:16 AM
-4

So it really has more to do with not wanting to be financially involved with someone with a lot of debt, even if the debt is not in any way their fault. If you’re being honest. Don’t pin it on poor life choices if it really doesn’t matter whether or not that’s the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 10:22 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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