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bob_dazz Archive

View 0 posts and 34 comments by bob_dazz on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

I’ve met four women, all awesome in their own way and absolutely hit it off with the fourth. I was super intentional with my swipes, was 100% upfront about my life and situation. And I moved the conversation ahead quickly - sending my number and meeting up as soon as possible. No games no BS and I didn’t entertain any from them. I got better every date at understanding what I wanted and what I could offer too. There’s been a few other mismatches and short message runs but I’ve just done it my wa…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 04:18 PM
14

Are you together? No? Then detach. Let her learn her lesson in her way. She might not ever learn it. No longer your problem. Go and learn some of the principles of stoicism. Get some emotional discipline. We can only control our own actions, thoughts, and reactions. Everything else is beyond our control - other people’s behaviour is not your concern, so learn to let it go. And go on a date. It’s nice when people say nice things to you. You don’t have to sleep with them or marry them, just go and…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 12:43 PM
1

My divorce is taking longer than I would like and I have yet to meet a date who is concerned by it. It will be done soon and there is a hard stop date. I’m upfront about it and just offer clear communication.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 11:49 AM
4

Absolute rubbish. Children need to have good adult relationships modelled to them. They can see and learn from a mature and amicable approach to divorce and to new relationships. With the right boundaries and lines of communication you can be in a new relationship and still be there 100% for your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 08:09 AM
3

Can’t agree with this. You can date before your divorce is final. It can take a long time. Complex things need to be sorted. But you can be free and clear of your marriage and have done the work. Some men date too soon, others take too long. It’s not an arbitrary red line but more a line you need to cross yourself when you know you are only going to project your best possible self onto a new match.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 08:07 AM
3

FIFTY FIFTY FIFTY FIFTY FIFTY FIFTY FIFTY FIFTY. It is now the only number you need in regard to your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 07:10 PM
5

I’ve been meeting people while in a drawn out separation - you’re possibly not as ready as you think you are and the world has probably changed a bit. But the only way to work it out is to give it a go. Keep your expectations low and your senses high.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 09:30 AM
4

What a shitty attitude toward others, I can’t imagine ever wanting to spend time with someone who thinks like you. Money, career, status, material possessions - they mean nothing. The only thing any of us want is happiness. Find a woman who is happy, and make sure you’re happy too when you meet her. The rest will work itself out. Sounds like you’ve never known it though, so you’ve got plenty of work to do.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 11:40 AM
2

Similar situation to you. Went on my first first-date a few weeks back. My expectations were lined up and we had a really good time. Let the conversation go where it goes naturally. I was wary about talking about my ex but she asked some nice gentle questions and I have a good relationship with my ex so it was easy to be positive but brief. She then talked about her past relationships and it was same vibe. So read the room and don’t worry about it too much. Went on a second date with her last ni…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 09:06 AM
1

Well there’s a telling response - probably for your relationship as well. My own divorce made me really understand how to be more emotionally available, open and vulnerable to others. Friends, family and new people that I met dating. Learning to open up was like a massive light that I’ve never looked back from and my relationships are so much more healthy as a result. You don’t have to burden anyone, nor overshare. But being able to talk and communicate emotionally is very helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 07:26 AM
1

Go. The longer you leave it the more you’ll regret it and your kid will thank you for it later or at least you can model what healthy parenting looks like, instead of what a dead marriage does.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 09:44 PM
-10

She needs you more than ever. You’re not showing up (in her mind, which is all that matters). Go back to basics. Find what drew you together in the first place. People change and grow apart but that thing that made you a couple is still in there, it’s just covered up. Get counselling, seek help. Be vulnerable, open and prepared to do some work together. Don’t be defensive, angry or try to minimise the issues. You’ve got a shot because it’s easier to repair than rebuild. You might split up but it…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 07:54 AM
6

This is some teenage BS man. I think you’ve been a bit naive on the credit card front but we’ve all been led astray like this somehow. But honestly the immaturity on display here means fast-track that divorce and get yourself a woman who doesn’t have the brain of a child.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 10:00 PM
14

I’m currently chatting to multiple women. Dating lightly. Not interested in much else. It’s fun. Putting yourself out there is great for your confidence and is helping me realise that unlike my ex wife, women actually think I ‘m a pretty good guy. They want to talk and flirt and I’m here for it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 12:05 AM
2

Gently, this doesn’t sound healthy. Please get some help, there is a better future for you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 06:28 PM
1

Too often we try to escape our pain, and our bad feelings. This leads to suppression and avoidance. When we are in pain it’s good to sit in it, let it come, let it marinate. Time will clear the pain, recognising it will move you forward at a faster pace than running away from it did. Sorry, your post resonated and this is what helped me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:59 PM
1

Enjoy it. Be honest. Try and mix a dip into online dating with real world events - meeting people with shared interests. People hate the apps but they are really quite useful to get matched with people who share common ground. Use Claude or an AI to coach you on creating a solid profile - but make it yourself. Shoot your shot and take a chance on people that you might not think you’ll be compatible with. I go on for a week or two and then pause my accounts, then start up again when I’m ready. An…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 04:40 PM
8

We’re not in love anymore. Too much water under the bridge, and we’ve grown apart. We both want very different things. But we’re aligned on being great co-parents and strong role models so we work hard to be amicable. It gets easier as time goes on, and we used ti be best friends but now we’re just good friends. I like that there is minimal conflict in my life with my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 07:50 AM
0

She’s not going on this trip? The kids are going on their own. If she was that changes the context. Because then it is her trip. But this is a trip for the kids. She hasn’t booked the flights, and is asking for a contribution. So it’s at discussion phase. And yep, she could use a negative response as leverage, agreed. I’d be happy to contribute is all. And not for any landed costs - but just for the flights, provided as I said before, that the best option was the one I was being asked to pay for…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 03:52 PM
0

Sure. However you want to work it out, and that makes a lot of sense. As long it’s working it out collaboratively rather than “your parents, your problem” which seems to be the stock answer here.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 03:37 PM
0

I’m going to split the field here. Knowing nothing of your personal relationship or situation but I’d be happy to pay the 50% here. They not your wife’s parents but your kid’s grandparents. Family time is so important, and so many of my positive childhood memories are of spending time at my grandparents house on holidays. On the basis that she’s chosen the best and most suitable airfare, and that the kids are happy, pay up. My relationship with my ex stays strong and drama free because we make g…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 02:15 PM
4

You absolutely do. My dad lost his wife (my mum) at 60, remarried and lost another wife by 66 (both to cancer) and still gets plenty of attention and lots of coffee dates at 73. He’s not out there prowling, it’s just he likes amiable companionship and has his friendship group but he’s still looking for someone special. By all accounts there is no shortage of eligible women over 65 😆
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 01:28 PM
1

Happened to me but there was no way that either of us had the emotional and mental energy to contemplate a new relationship as well as take care of our kid - and we only had one! We’re still completely amicable and able to make the best decisions for our kid, and still both happy on our own. Might be something in that you know 🧐
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 04:31 PM
2

I say this sitting in my apartment a few months into a nesting relationship with my STBXW. We have an eleven year old with a long-term life-shortening health condition that we stayed together for, for far too long. I dreaded this whole process, but to be honest am glad it’s happened. It’s not been without a few bumps, but we’ve tried as hard as we can to stay amicable and split the assets 50:50. So far so good, and we’re pretty close to the end. Our child gets to stay in the family home and we m…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:07 AM
1

Sorry this is not cool. Not for you, nor for your ex. You need some DISTANCE, and some techniques to keep your emotions in check. Give her space before you do something stupid. Drop contact. Breathe. Keep your post and read it when you’re feeling more grounded.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 05:03 PM
2

A third party is highly advisable when discussing your separation - the time for emotion is over. This is practical, transactional and very helpful for maintaining an amicable relationship which helps keep the lawyers from getting too much of your money. Third party mediation is the only reason I managed to maintain my sanity, my cash AND a strong, friendly relationship with my ex-wife / co-parent.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 10:19 PM
1

Move on. However you can - therapy, contact blackout, new things, move away - anything. Meet people. Get some momentum, build the foundations of a new life away from your ex. Don’t look back, but look forward. Take it day by day by day by day. One step at a time. Be self sufficient. Not just money, obviously but mentally and emotionally develop your resilience and enjoyment of being on your own. Someone new will come along. Don’t force it, let the universe work it’s magic. It works better when y…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 08:43 PM
2

I haven’t dated for 20 years, but I didn’t have any game then either, and never had any problem with women. If the conversation is stilted, or you’re scrambling it’s a bad date. That’s all. We can’t all have forgotten that the women we clicked with shared the common trait of natural, easy going conversation and a connection. These days people have different expectations but chemistry is chemistry.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 05:50 PM
1

Jeez some rough going on here. My stbx and I have a very amicable relationship. We’re friends and we work to be amicable where we can. Our romantic relationship came to the end of its life and once we recognised that and gave each other the necessary space to work through it we’ve managed to maintains good platonic relationship. We’ll do Christmas this year for at least half the day, and then next year we’ll likely do our own thing. There’s plenty of jilted women out there, and men too it seems …
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 08:00 PM
0

It reminded me of that Markle podcast interview doing the rounds. I didn’t realise that modern self-awareness was so braggy
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 03:05 PM
4

This is what is happening to me, but we’re really amicable and it’s almost like nothings changed except for affection/intimacy. She’s just stuck. I was initially pissed because it was her call then nothing. I’ve used AI to help me work through a practical communication strategy to move forward and it’s been really helpful. You’ve got to start doing the work, and even tell her that if she won’t collaborate that you’ll do it independently and then get on with it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 11:51 AM
0

Would love to see your source for that fact.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 12:33 PM
-1

This is unhealthy advice. 70% of relationships are ended by women, and it moves to 90% of relationships where the woman is college educated. There are a lot of factors - most prominently that women are far more independent and educated than they were 50-60 years ago and don’t rely on men like they used to. But just assuming that there is another man is not helpful - I’m sorry if it happened to you but it’s not my experience.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 07:06 AM
2

No offence but open the door and get outside. Join a Men’s shed, or a team or roll some dice, play some cards. It’s all there on the internet - a group for every hobby or interest waiting for your call or message so they can welcome you in. Just take a step.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 08:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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