TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

bodybyxbox Archive

View 3 posts and 148 comments by bodybyxbox on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
84

Haha, I feel like this q comes up a lot here. It is the wrong question--you aren't hunting them, they need to be finding you. Live your best life, be somewhat active and social, volunteer and do your hobbies ideally with others, and meet lots of people IRL. Reject all low and neutral value men asap, get comfy being alone (I'm still struggling deeply with this one) and maybe a good fit will find you. And if not, then you have a full, happy life anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 06:18 PM
41

Even if you had the best hvm, you would still be lonely sometimes. It is the human condition. When I feel lonely or lost, I sit in a quite place in nature, sit and breath, and ask the universe/gods/nature to fill me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 12:26 AM
18

I really appreciate this. I think we can only hope to protect ourselves from toxic systems if we are aware of them. We talk about misogyny a lot here, of course, but its all intersectional. One's own privilege is hard to see and harder to really feel/get. But it is part of the leveling up process. None of us should be interested in enacting any part of the disgusting legacy of white supremacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 12:57 PM
12

At least you are aware! We were kept naive, at great cost to us. Armor up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 12:07 PM
20

Yuuuup. I second this idea. Next time she starts to mention him, you interrupt and do the "I need to stop you right there" and say you don't support and don't want to hear about it. If she violates those boundaries, she is not being a friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 07:57 PM
9

I've heard it is from being a fan of the wizard of oz/Dorothy/Judy Garland the gay icon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 02:17 AM
19

Work culture is toxic and full of misogynists who would rather cut off their own nose than implement a woman's ideas. Being a bangmaid to any man is, of course, terrible too. Maybe an ok vacation during the honeymoon phase, but certainly not a long term life path. My solution to this conundrum is radical. I bought land and quit my 6 figure job. I live at poverty levels right now, working part-time for the man making so little I qualify for Medicaid. But I am on my way to opening up my own campin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 03:56 PM
6

This is a good point! It really isn't "if he wanted, he would" all the time. Sometimes they just are so ruined by being propped up for so long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 02:54 PM
10

Sending you hugs! This world damages us from the womb, and has us thinking it was our fault all along. But we rise up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 02:49 PM
3

I dumped a guy because he was too clingy and problematic. A few years later, run into him again--the physical spark was still super intense. We were both clingy this time (big red flag) and he was even more problematic. Thankfully he was arrested so I was able to escape my insecure attachment and the relationship the second time. Edit: So in conclusion, 0/10 don't recommend it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 02:45 PM
10

I feel it is very telling how there are no other humans, or close connections in this. No friends, no extra time to fish with dad. Nope. Just dude bro, alone with his toilet and a can of febreeze. Also, Jesus Christ what a horrific pantomime of "happy". Has the person who put this together never seen a happy person? If men weren't such mean dumb sluts I'd feel bad for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 04:09 PM
30

I started calling men sluts after I heard a tiktoker do it and it feels so good every time. Men in general are mean, ignorant sluts and I don't respect them. Mmmm...feels like chicken soup for the soul.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 12:11 PM
29

I dated a loser for just under two months who did the same thing. Wanted open, convinced his wife, and she left him for the boyfriend. At least the loser didn't tell people she cheated and fessed they were poly. But still wtf. They had two kids. He was practically smashing my face in with that red flag but, even post fds, I ignored it because he was otherwise "perfect". 7 weeks later he drops the mask and, shocker, he is a nightmare. A fucking psychotic 🤡.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 12:05 PM
4

So well said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 11:49 AM
2

Omg I forgot he was on Zena!!!! I'd still hit up Lucy Lawless first but that man is a snack!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 11:13 AM
160

Fuck. That cuts deep. Thanks for sharing that quote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:55 PM
84

I'm conflict avoidant and would rather lie and get out safe. So, in that situation, or just if I stop feeling the make out session at any time, I pop up startled and say "Oh no, I forgot I need to get my cousin from the airport!" Then you grab your shit and rush the fuck out of there/toss him out while you get your coat and keys etc. Works anytime day or night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 06:12 PM
31

I stopped shaving my legs and my bush regularly about a year ago. I'll still shave my legs occasionally if I go to a nice restaurant and want to rock that hot classy lady look, but I'm pretty much over it. It's barely noticeable, and neither guy I dated so far cared. We'll see with this bikini season, but the plan is to not trim and just let the bush do its thing. I like the full bush when I'm naked, but I'm thinking getting booty short style bikini bottom might be the solution to not feel embar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 05:07 PM
3

I love peeing/shitting in the woods! Just in case you want to give it another try: If you wear a long skirt + no underwear OR yoga pants + underwear + a panty liner, then for peeing you don't even need toilet paper. Practice low squats; you want to be able to get in and out of a deep squat really easy. Cover your cat hole (the 6 inch plus hole you dig to shit in) with a flat rock to keep the flies down if you are going to use it more than once. Find a slope to pee on; it is better to be on highe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 02:09 AM
6

I hated the way my ex-husband proposed. It was like he didn't know me at all, or care about the social situation; he had his fantasy and was going to enact it. And true to your hypothesis, it was a preview. Thankfully I finally got it through my thick head after years that I was so focused on him, and he was so focused on himself, that I was abandoning myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 12:45 PM
10

Which is why he told you! He wanted a strong negative reaction to that "news". Glad you found the sub!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 12:15 PM
14

When I saw that post I knew I would find it here! Love you all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 03:25 AM
7

My paternal grandmother was a talented artist, maybe could have been something. She married a broke, old farming scrote and rarely had the time or the money for supplies to make art. I stare at her art and cry sometimes. She had a hard life. We don't have to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 01:17 AM
24

Both those numbers could be correct. The mean or median could be 100, but the mode could be 10000. I'm guessing in reality it is a huge U shape. A bunch of people make nothing, and then a few break out and make more and more, and then you hit the famous folks and there may be a good number of them on the site, and they are pulling 100k+. In addition, this is one of those things that we are not going to have access to reliable data on. Only fans knows, but they won't likely share.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 12:54 AM
-4

I'd say don't worry about general red flags, especially in regards to what he says. Attend to your personal feelings and his actions. Calling women sluts is gross, but also could be a habit he is trying to break but as you say, it slips out sometimes. I try to never curse in from on my mom because that is also gross and disrespectful, imo. But I do slip up sometimes. You are both young and hopefully will continue to grow and improve. Does he try to be better? Does he act in ways that shows he re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 03:08 PM
108

Please destroy his reputation and post about it so we can all have a collective justice-served orgasm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 02:56 PM
39

Well, not their sexuality often. Many of them are forced into it. It isn't a display of their sexual choice and freedom, it is often the display of the opposite, of their servitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 12:41 AM
1

So I'm the same!!! I never brag about my degrees or work shit, I'm very matter of fact about it. But I was so fucking smug about my marriage. We are taught as women that is more "braggable" then careers or cars. And to be honest, I actually do think it is as per more important than a career. And obviously more than a car. But I was such a shit! Well, I'm divorced now, so feel free to have schadenfreude at my expense!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 11:40 PM
4

With that extra info, I am even more convinced...proceed with caution. We tend to build our lives around worthless men. Sad but true and highly unstable. Collapsing her fantasy before she is ready to disassemble it will do more harm to you and her. Gently poke around. He probably does other low value things that are more neutral. Point out those. If she wants to ride or die, walk away and don't feel bad about it for a second.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 11:33 PM
1

Nice! Thanks for the info! I loved it live, I bet it is great online too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 11:26 PM
2

Cringe. I was one of these "happily" married women. I think I was better about reaching out to my single friends, but I know I was emotionally unavailable to anyone but my husband. What a terrible mistake. It felt good creating this "perfect life" to parade around to myself and to others. I believed in that lie I built. I hope your friends come around sooner than I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 02:27 PM
3

I am with you. Even to the part where I'm listening a little too intently to Hozier. I do live alone, so can scratch that itch any time I like, but I swear it only makes it worse! I am sooooo thirsty. Which is dangerous. I am talking to men on OLD and its gonna be hard to follow the rules when my vagina is yelling at me to "find dick, any dick!" I think it is part of the brainwashing we receive our entire lives. I was conditioned by society to be a slut from the time I was 12, and give all mysel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 02:07 PM
5

It is very likely she will blow up at you. I think your grey rock strategy is good. I'd be more hesitant to share with the wife. Feel her out first. Talk about things like husbands flirting, see what she does or says. If she is a pickmesha, I wouldn't tell her. I wouldn't want to put my mental health and family relationships on the line for for someone who clearly doesn't want to be saved and already knows what they are getting and feel like they don't deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 01:47 PM
16

Two guys I volunteer with, whom I thought could be decent guys, started talking about how they are both polyamorous. One guy noted that he like that because then he wouldn't get "attached" to the woman. The other guy, divorced, talked about how great it was for his marriage. What an idiot. I was just silently visualizing the little barf emojis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 01:42 PM
4

You just need a "business lady" voice you do. The one you put on when you answer the phone. Practice it regularly in business contexts and it will start to turn on automatically when needed. I drop my voice a bit lower (I have a tendency to go high when I'm excited in my real life). I annunciate better (you can practice this by talking with a pencil in your mouth and trying to be as clear as possible). And I try to pause instead of saying um, ahhh, etc. Toastmasters is a good organization to try…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 01:37 PM
84

Lie to him and tell him you want to do couples therapy, ,or that you will take you both on a vacation to "rekindle the love." Make him think you are going to through throw COmMUniCATioN at him so there is nothing he needs to do except nod along and keep being his old self. Then you scorch earth that toad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:03 PM
81

I could have used this guide 7 years ago when I married the lazy guy. You described him to a tee (although he knew he was no bell but wanted to be chased anyway). Happily divorced for 8 months and currently exploring the finger lakes region solo and looking to ditch my old career (which i would have been trapped in paying his bills) to reno Victorian houses and raise goats and whatever else I fucking feel like. Fuck you, Frank!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 11:05 PM
18

Jesus Christ. He couldn't even use it as a fun way to really get motivated and level up! He had to game the system, playing you and himself. Why are so many men such sad sacks of shit?!?!?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 12:08 PM
22

Good spot! It's easy to let our imaginations get the best of us. It's nice to see it since it gives me hope that maybe there are HVM out there, but maybe that hope just makes me an easier targets for masked LVM....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 06:19 PM
2

A agree. I actually like that sort of thing and want to find a goofball and am wearing a stupid t shirt right now. But its important to understand what you are looking for. If a guy is too serious, that is actually a "red flag" for me. Actually, I think of the basic requirements using the flag system (like not-abusive), but that other issues are more of a lack of fit. So like in hiring; the candidate must meet the minimums to even get to the stage of being assessed. Once they do, then they are r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 05:18 PM
5

She is definitely the forever-girlfriend-until-he-meets-the-one. Send her some unrelated FDS memes to try to get her onto the website/subreddit. If she "discovers" it herself she might be more open to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 05:05 PM
8

I'm also a newb, but I think that fact that he respected your boundaries and met your date requirements is the important thing. Sure, if you weren't going to have any boundaries, he would have taken advantage of that (and maybe thought you didn't because of your mistake telling him your intersection). But as you set them and he respected them, I would say that he gets to move on to the next round. Of course, if he gives you the willies or anything, block and delete immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 05:00 PM
12

What do you do, specifically? I need to work on my ice queen armor...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 04:28 PM
21

I would hypothesize you get more lying about politics than porn. People know politics is divisive, but they think almost everyone under the age of 80 consumes pornography.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 12:43 AM
9

Share it, if you feel safe doing so! I love the way older women look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 04:02 AM
8

Yes! The lies they tell!!! Like they won't be creeping all over us at the old folks home. Damn, I just depressed the shit out of myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 02:02 AM
5

I agree! Men would poo poo that shit because everything for then needs to be numbers and check boxes. But we have all meet highly sexy and chrasmatic people who were not conventionally attractive. And I feel like we have all channeled that at some point, at least briefly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 02:00 AM
13

Good point! There are so many ways the game is rigged against women!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 01:55 AM
8

Omg yes I want to be a swamp witch so bad at this point!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 01:54 AM
2

You have to get out of that house and away from those people. I don't know how you've managed so far; I would have gone bonkers. Walk away from that bloated corpse of your former life. Make a list of everyone you would send a Christmas card to if you were that sort of person; email all those people that you are looking for a room in this location for $X a month. An aunt of yours will know someone she plays bridge with that has a spare room. You might even end up paying less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 07:48 PM
13

I was thinking that same thing!!! God I was sooooo clueless at that age. To be fair, it was long enough ago that I think the guys were slightly less garbage-monstery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 02:20 PM
7

Or they do know its a cycle and don't care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 04:49 AM
3

Makes total sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 06:56 PM
3

A protection order is not a good strategy, as it would have required him already majorly threatening you. I think a few things are going on here. One is that from this, it is unclear from your post if you know the danger level. What is the real likelihood he will come to your house? And if he does, what are you afraid of? Being harassed, embarrassed, having to stand up for yourself, or do you think he might try to hurt and rob you? If you are afraid of just an awkward encounter, than working on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 04:05 PM
5

I filed in January and mine just finalized. You will be riding the rollercoaster of emotions for a bit. Enjoy the ups and have a close friend (ideally who has also gone through a divorce) to go to when there are down. It's been less than a year and I'm so happy and excited in my life and for my future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 03:54 PM
3

I love the idea of using this time to learn more about our bodies. There is so much about our physical bodies that we are routinely cut off from. Enjoy the journey of self-discovery!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 03:49 PM
9

You just need to distract yourself. He needs to take up way less real estate in your brain. Plan a few weeks of kick ass dates with yourself, things you want to level up. Block and delete and move on. I know you don't want to; which is exactly why you should do it and do it right now. Don't give yourself time to think about it. Get your phone and block his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 03:44 PM
8

Sounds like you've done a lot of positive work self-reflecting. Good on you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 12:55 PM
9

OMG I had never heard of this Queen! Thank you for posting; I'm super digging her already. I'm off to go down the youtube rabbit hole!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 12:40 PM
19

With you being SAH, I think you have to rethink the 100% separate finances. Keep your savings separate, but all new paychecks should be deposited in a joint account. It needs to be a new account with both your names on it, you both get cards. Just tell him that "just take my card" doesn't work, full stop. It is such a dumb idea that it is beneath you to argue the point. Just tell him how it needs to be. Joint account that the entire paycheck goes into (except pre-tax 401K stuff). Then you both t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 11:47 PM
9

Yes. Sex is sooooo dangerous for women. I hate to say it, because I love having sex. I also love the feelings of falling in love and want to lean in and stoke the infatuation. The old habit was to lovebomb, quickly get bored and move on! Time to break that cycle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 07:38 PM
4

That was amazing! Thank you for taking the time to write that up for all of us!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 01:35 PM
11

God you are so right. The timing couldn't be worse...I'm just about to ovulate and he is gonna take me out on a date this weekend. But I am going to commit to it. I'm not going to have sex with him. Send me some Queen energy to bolster my resolve, ladies! And send me some strategies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 01:03 PM
17

So where is my clown hat... I slept with a guy too soon and caught the butterflies. Ladies, in my defense, there were very extenuating circumstances (abbreviated: after falling out of love with my husband, I formed a strong belief that I couldn't enjoy sex with a man again). He doesn't know I have the feels, and at least I was immediately aware I fell down that hole again and I am ready to jet at the drop of a hat. He has been fine; it's only been a month so who knows who/what he really is and w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 12:39 PM
10

The chemistry isn't there. Listen to your intuition; it was awkward, the way he asked was weak. You are putting the relationship labor on yourself; he needed to step up, he didn't, okay next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 12:25 PM
13

Agreed. It is so hard with a single text, you would know better than us his tone so far. But that does strike me as hostile. Not just "I'm the prize and you will audition for me" but like, "How much of a challenge will it be to break you?".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 12:18 PM
3

I'm not sure if this is canon, but my advice is: 1) Ignore the feeling that you "need to do something for him". 2) Do you want more physical intimacy with him, or are you happy just kissing and waiting for now? If you want to snuggle on him, because he is awesome and turning you on, then do that. It's important for you are sexually compatible with your partner, and lots of queens on here have recommended heavy petting to make sure that he is going to be a generous lover and that he is missing re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 11:59 PM
2

Yes! That's because deep down you are a Queen and you know you don't need the joker acting like he's the boss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 11:47 PM
10

I have had that "be yourself" vs "be more bitchy" argument in my head too. And I'm right there with you on talking the talk but not completely walking the walk yet. We will get there! First, you are much more than "nice". I bet you are sometimes fierce, or moody, sarcastic, funny, mellow, feeling boss... You behave differently depending on the context. You are in the habit of being sweet in situations with men. You can change this habit. It won't happen overnight. But in texts, try being more my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 07:43 PM
2

Plot twist!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 07:21 PM
39

You said it yourself, he isn't a friend. You are better off alone. I'm guessing you are in your early 20s? I was the same way then. Guy "friends" buzzing around. The attention is fun, but they take your attention away from leveling up and finding true connection and community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 07:04 PM
1

Really useful trick! I am definitely going to steal that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 06:52 PM
3

Gross. What a waste of oxygen. Could you create a new email address and make the old one into a burner one you never check?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 11:48 PM
3

Saved! Such good advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:53 PM
12

But if he keeps posting the same thing, is that really trolling or does he have serious mental problems and obsessively thinks about getting a waifu and can't help but leak is porn addicted feelings all over the internet. Or possibly it is both? He tells himself he is a troll, but he keeps doing the same thing over and over again compulsively. He is the troll and the one being trolled by his own sicknesses...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:49 PM
4

I really like Sour Susan!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:38 PM
4

Bitter Betty
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:36 PM
5

Thank you for your perspective. I do agree with the material instinct piece. I am huge into nesting and care-taking, and I am childfree with no pets! And you are spot on. I want to cook for a guy after 3 dates. But I'm not ashamed of that. I recognize that it is detrimental to me and women in general and what may become a relationship but is currently nothing, so I will not do it. I'm choosing gardening as my care-giving outlet. Wish me luck this winter!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:51 PM
3

Amen! I love the addition about not changing from a place of shame!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:46 PM
4

Yes, I almost want to give those women another name. They are the classic crabs in the bucket. How about Ednas, after Edna Krabappel? Any other good names for these toxic, not just naive, women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:45 PM
5

Good point about women too! I've definitely cut out several toxic women too who just want to take and take. For me, I seem to attract those who will frequently verbal diarrhea all their negative baggage on you, but don't want advice or anything, and never lift you or themselves up. Those people seem to be able to smell someone with a positive and giving manner!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:40 PM
8

Yes, we do need to change our behaviors and ditch our pickme ways, but we don't need to feel guilty or bad about it. As you say, we didn't do anything "wrong", we did a beautiful thing in a terrible and grotesque system. We are told to play sweetly and fair in a corrupt and violent game. And we must play the hand we are dealt. That leaves us with 2 choices; play sweet and get crushed, or use every trick in the book to protect ourselves and give ourselves space to thrive alone or in relationships…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:36 PM
6

Yes! I love that last sentence. That is what l need to keep working on. OMG even with my eyes open I can feel the pull of wanting to be and do everything for a guy I'm just starting to vet. Seriously, I just had the idea going over to his house to cook him dinner since he works late. I'm not even his girlfriend and part of my brain thinks, "hey, why not give that rando the wifey treatment!" Where is that clown emoji... Please someone reply with the clown emoji!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:30 PM
5

I agree; it is definitely plays out in incredibly dangerous and toxic ways, just, as you say, to benefit men and repress and control women. We cannot be generous with our love; it will only serve to get us harmed. And does not even really benefit men, as they become sad couch creatures, who are emotionally stunted and just the shell of a human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:25 PM
24

Amen, sister! I was missing the praxis part of my statement! Here is to all of us finding those people we can give all our love to, who deserve and reciprocate it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 06:05 AM
131

I'm thinking that shame is not healthy. I mean, it is good we recognize the mistakes we made and avoid them in the future, but the shame belongs to the scotes. We have always been Queens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:54 AM
72

I think that is why there is so much sub-love in FDS; because we do pick each other up, and we realize how rare that is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:48 AM
17

Some Queen must have pointed me to this sub. I don't know who it was, but thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 03:26 AM
35

And as always, take care of yourself first. Sometimes the outreach can be draining. Take a break from it, and treat yourself for the work you did! Even if it fall on deaf ears at the time you don't know what little idea you planted in their heads that may fruit later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 03:24 AM
54

OMG I feel like I just witnessed a meet-cute!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 03:20 AM
21

You are an inspiration! I love hearing about FDS women rising like the phoenix from the ashes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 09:25 PM
71

Because I this sub, I realized the reason my marriage collapsed. I thought I "just fell out of love". I did, after a decade of giving 110% and getting back less and less each year. My love is fierce and beautiful and fragile and precious, and will not be squandered on someone who does return it equally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 09:23 PM
6

Of course! However, a system of organization is not necessarily a system of empowered rulership. For example, how the Semai people self-regulate is anarchistic. It seems similar to a direct democracy, which is also a type of anarchy. No one is being elected. No one is given permission to make decisions on the behalf of rest. All the adults get together and make decisions for the whole collaboratively. It works incredibly well for groups no bigger than 150-200.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:55 PM
1

So well said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:13 PM
7

OMG, it sounds like dating myself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:16 PM
18

The way many describe those early tribal systems of self-organization are anarchistic. There wasn't always an elected or ordained or inherited leader; but temporary leaders were raised up/listened to by the rest of the group based on their skills, their experience and the needs of the group. Anarchy is not chaos, anarchy is just not having a governing body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 05:29 PM
7

The missing floor is the incredibly low bar that you go out armed with only to realize that the multitude of scrotes can't even hit their head on it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 02:10 AM
17

They are literally telling us our beauty isn't for ourselves, it is only for men to appreciate and consume (or reject). We must do everything in our power to look beautiful, but always feel ugly so that they can "save" us and "give" us value. It's our fucking value. It's what we are bringing to the fucking negotiating table. You don't get to pretend you found that shit on the side of the road and dusted it off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 07:23 PM
2

Now is the fun part, where you get to date yourself! It's amazing. You get to learn about who you are/want to be, what you really like, explore, be super weird. Self love time!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 08:33 PM
9

Yes! Because they know they can control those urges; just like they can stop themselves from taking a dump on the street and it doesn't get much more biological than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 08:19 PM
43

And yet here we are, upvoting everything and supporting each other. Like fucking queens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:46 PM
11

We live in a very sick society. I'm glad you at least pulled the wool from your eyes. Keep on queening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:42 PM
55

Thank you for this. It is a good reminder to not take it too seriously. While sifting through a mountain of scrotes, it can feel so terrible and frustrating and disgusting. But really, men aren't a necessity, they are a luxury. And finding them akin to a hobby. Like thrifting. There is a lot of garbage to get through, but the hunt itself can be a major part of the fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:32 PM
3

I got to bond with my nieces who I hadn't seen in years! I tried to gently dole out some age-appropriate FDS advice when one started talking about love at first sight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:54 PM
4

Good for you. My mother is similar. I know from her it comes from a place of forgiveness for almost all humans and a people-pleasing nature (which I definitely inherited). I would love to bond with her and tell her things, but I know it would just hurt me and her. It is a bit sad, but she is a lost cause in that respect and I just pray my dad dies so she can be free for once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:57 PM
8

What do you say to shit test them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 04:30 PM
88

Congratulations. It sounded like it was terribly difficult-you are strong and brave for doing the right thing. Many other women wouldn't have. I recommend you do try to find a replacement confidant though. Close friends, a family member who isn't crazy, a therapist... Or all the above.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:21 PM
5

I'm turning 40 in a few months, and dumped my low value husband in December. I get it; for a while I was still talking to him and texting him! Clown behavior! It is crazy, and we must forgive ourselves for the crazy because we live in a bat shit society. You are a goddess and as such you are the giver of grace. Make sure to give some to yourself. If all you want is a cuddle buddy, then you will be able to find that. Just keep the standards for that relationship high and make sure it is serving y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:56 PM
12

OMG! I want to open a FDS nunnery! Not religiously based. Just a group of strong, awesome women living on a beautiful estate in the countryside. Gardening, crafting, reading, brew cider (my personal fantasy), etc. On Sundays we'll preach to the local female population about standards and publicly shame scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:49 PM
2

A peaceful, happy home full of loving pets is doable married (to the right guy) or single. You got it either way! Haha, and yes, men are mostly sad garbage so I'm glad not to be one either!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:28 PM
3

I'm childfree too; hell yeah! I got the Essure stint a few years ago. Def no regrets it was simple and not that painful. I just wish it had also magically made me period-free and not just childfree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 12:37 AM
12

He was self-aware of it, which I respect. Doesn't look like his is trying to "keep" his looks by getting plastic surgery or even dying his hair. Voice acting for the win!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:19 PM
38

Yes, equity does not mean equivalency! A flat tax on rich and poor alike is equivalent/consistent, but highly inequitable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:15 PM
20

Physical intimacy, sex or snuggling or hand holding, releases oxytocin. Also increases the chance of catchin the Rona. No touch!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 10:07 PM
6

I think it is both that they are attracted to extremes, the quick dopamine hit, easy answers, etc. but also that addictive behaviors erode away positive attributes. Playing video games every once in a while, or even an hour a day, still leaves you with time and attention to focus on other things. Playing 7 hours a day makes you into a boring shell of a person that has less and less to offer as time goes by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 11:57 PM
3

"No one gives a shit what you fucking think just ring up my damn beer."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 12:16 AM
12

That was my reaction to FDS at first; flabbergasted and offended. And then you reflect just a little and realize, holy shit, FDS is right! It also shows what HVW we are because we can quickly learn, reflect, adjust, and level up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:48 PM
23

In other words from a different post; don't be Barb the Builder, the one who invests all the time and money for the many to level up and then walk out to a new HVW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:40 PM
8

The most effective way to break a bad habit, according research one of my colleagues does, is to 1)make the bad habit more "costly" to initiate, and 2) make an alternative easy to initiate. So, for example, lets say you have the habit of turning on and vegging out to the tv after work, but you'd prefer to work on your art. So you would 1) take the batteries out of the remote and put them across the room and 2) put your art materials on the coffee table. When you go to turn on the tv, it doesn't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:22 PM
4

I'd go fem; straight men, both HV and LV, are attracted to femininity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:02 PM
3

Haha. I'm bi and now want to only date women but I've heard some lesbians don't like bi women. I need to find me some lesbian evangelists who would be happy to convert a former sinner!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:31 AM
12

Like the goddess Kali we can be beautifully brutal on this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:23 AM
9

I've heard the theory that the original Beauty and the Beast story was written to give young women hope when they were being forced to marry "beasts" to advance their family's fortune or just to cut expenses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:13 AM
29

Same here. And I'm 40. I've been doing it so long I am having a hard time not doing it in the moment. The cashier at a liquor store was being creepy nice to the chick in front of me. She was all sorts of what we've been trained to be. Submissive, humble, thankful that this fucking gross nobody said she is so cute. And what did I do when he told me I was "still cute" for my age. I fucking thanked him. Shoot me in the fucking head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:40 AM
6

Except possibly dildo makers...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:33 AM
27

No kids. No dogs. I can't even commit to my houseplants right now, and I love my plants. I am loving 100% unencumbered lifestyle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:56 AM
5

I want to do the same thing! I bet they have live online classes now. I've watched a few ballet beginner vids and love some of the moves. They are great for toning those leg muscles and improving posture. Tits out, chin up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:58 PM
9

Dance; it is so much easier to do alone, it fun, and it makes your body feel (and look) great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:44 PM
2

Mods: Nomination to upgrade this Newbie to an Apprentice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:04 PM
1

Just forge his signature. I'm sure you've seen. You might even have a copy of it in a file on your computer somewhere (the original lease agreement). No one really vets or checks those things. And if they do, its hard to prove. You'll already be off the lease and long gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 04:54 PM
1

Trail clean ups, and anything that cyclists do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 03:47 AM
4

Maybe try to link up with the members of a different sect/religion? Not that you have to become religious or pretend to believe, but I feel like you could find a Quaker group to volunteer with and maybe meet people there. Or Buddhists. Unitarians. Evangelical Lutherans (don't let the name scare you, they are the radically progressive Lutherans, so they have a gay bishop and support a woman's right to choose). New Age practitioners. Interfaith organizations too would get the more progressive/libe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 08:42 PM
3

I'm sure you are perfectly pleasant; but good for you for wanting to try new things and put yourself out there. People are very avoidant and afraid of each other these days. Perhaps because we never evolved to live in cities; they are a recent invention (only 15,000 years old). We evolved in an era that stretched about 2 million years, where we would have only seen probably 1000 other humans our entire lives. We lived in tribes of less than 200 individuals. I think our modern lifestyle is drivin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 12:40 PM
5

Sounds like you did the right thing, don't beat yourself up. I don't know if I'd have the balls to just laugh at a guy dressed like that and walk out. Someday, I hope I do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 10:00 PM
21

Maybe instead of dating 3 men, it should be that you always have 3 or more active, interpersonal connections in your life. Close friends you text and see daily, your sister who lives just down the street, an old friend you travel with and exchange pics with regularly. All these connections could accomplish taking the focus off dating and finding "the one". That social fulfillment comes elsewhere. What I also think is good about this is that it might combat the ghosting of friends that I know I d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 09:47 PM
7

I did OLD for a hot 5 min before I gave up on it. I rather meet people in the wild. I am like an 8 with a great body but a cute/non threatening face and im white so YMMV. I smile and try to make eye contact with everyone I pass. Everyone. I live in the city. Rona made that harder, but eye contact and nod works. If I'm stopped somewhere with other people, for more than a minute, with men or women, I will almost always instigate a conversation. I just say some dumb observation or ask a question li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 09:34 PM
4

It is their loss, their tragedy. They are tainted by those experiences, you are not. You are sad because you feel that loss, because you have and can express a range of feelings. but let their shit go. You are the lotus growing up from the mud, floating advice it, never sullied.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 04:14 AM
12

The FDS Messiah! I have sinned so much in the past /u/teampinata, wash away all my pickme sins!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:58 PM
2

Haha, I just realized I commented on two of your comments in two different threads! Hey Queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:45 PM
2

Nicely done. Fingers crossed he isn't a monster!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:14 PM
4

Now you all tell me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:12 PM
9

I am sending you so many virtual hugs! I'm so sorry for your traumas! Those men deserve to rot. Maybe think about taking a break from relationships right now. Go to therapy if you can afford it. Journal and meditate if you have the time. Get to know yourself! You deserve the joy and peace that comes with that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:04 PM
9

I'm bi but this community might make me a lesbian!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:59 PM
6

And even if you don't meet that man, you can find a community that cherishes you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:58 PM
7

I'm with you, though I was your friend when I was 30 (dating a nagging him to put a ring on it to check off the box). I married him, he's a NVM, but I'm still glad to be free. But yeah, if I could do it over...no fucking way! Single and sky high standards! Which is also my plan for the rest of my life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:50 PM
7

That is my dream future too! I'm constantly on zillow looking at properties with a little creek running through them and acres and acres of woods and ferns. Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:46 PM
2

Thanks for this advice; I'm not OP but i just signed up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:24 AM
3

I was so this way when I was young. I would "dump" my friends the second a new prick showed up in my life. I committed all the FDS sins over the years, probably. I'm just so glad I found this community just as I started really trying to date again (divorced around the end of December).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 05:11 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter