| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | Signs things are getting better | brother_meowzone | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/19 05:39 AM | |
| 5 | Meeting women | brother_meowzone | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/19 06:30 AM | |
| 3 | Admittedly unhealthy thought... | brother_meowzone | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/19 01:50 AM | |
| 2 | No kids | brother_meowzone | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/19 10:22 PM | |
| 1 | All the stuff | brother_meowzone | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/19 09:13 PM | |
| 1 | Stuff that bugs me.. | brother_meowzone | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/19 06:11 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Why are there so many false stereotypes against men?Like all stereotypes, everyone has anecdotal experience where the stereotype is true with regards to individuals they know, but intellectually most people don't believe it's descriptive of the class as a whole | /r/MensRights | 30/06/21 02:47 PM |
| 3 | Caught her playing with herself while on a video chat at 4 a.m. how can people be so callous?Cheers | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/19 10:50 PM |
| 3 | Shell of who I once wasIt do be like that. Everyone who's been through a divorce recognizes the things they could have done better, and the feelings are amplified knowing you won't get a second chance with the same partner. It sucks to mess up a good deal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/19 02:48 AM |
| 1 | Married just 4 monthsI think relationships often fall apart that way, happened to me too. 6 year courtship, 2 years engaged, 3 married. In retrospect I took a ton of time to be sure, but that's not really what I was doing. I was really waiting for a long enough period of time to pass coping with the red flags until we reached a number of years that seemed appropriate to marry. Really time was just running out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/19 07:12 PM |
| 2 | Going through the divorce process and I'm so sadThanks! It was a silly idea | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/19 01:37 AM |
| 2 | Going through the divorce process and I'm so sadLet me be emphatic. I do not remember the character's ending that shit was so long ago.... 😂 | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/19 01:33 AM |
| 2 | Going through the divorce process and I'm so sadGood job. Online dating has proven to be a grind for me. I feel like it's just better for me to forget about women for however long it takes to get lucky and meet one like I did with wife #1 | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/19 08:53 PM |
| 3 | Going through the divorce process and I'm so sadWhere do I find these friends with benefits? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/19 08:42 PM |
| 1 | Going through the divorce process and I'm so sadI am almost 2 years out. It will get better in some ways. Talking diet, yeah I definitely went through a period where I needed to come to grips with the fact that cooking, and so many other things, were things my ex wife handled, and I never learned it like (single) adults do normally. Look as it as an opportunity to become a more complete individual. In a lot of ways post-divorce life is about doing that. You will find things you were missing out on. And yes, you will miss things you've lost, n… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/19 08:41 PM |
| 1 | How to keep homes and not pay alimonyYeah but he said they weren't married for long | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/19 02:44 AM |
| 2 | Finding support afterwardsPlaces like this were a good start. Therapy for awhile until I got sick of shelling out $30 for someone to tell me shit I already knew. Meetup groups are great for meeting new friends. Family, if they're around. Finally, never be afraid to reconnect with old friends. If you've lost touch, try reconnecting. No one will say, wow you shouldn't have called, and they'll be happy when you tell them you're consciously trying to reconnect. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/09/19 06:06 AM |
| 3 | How to keep homes and not pay alimonyDon't know what state you're in and can't comment on a lot of this, however what I recognize from my divorce is that if you were not married long, I believe a good lawyer will negotiate good alimony terms. You don't need to pay alimony your whole life. I was married for 3 years and though I ended up paying none by mutual agreement, the lawyer felt confident that push come to shove i would not have needed to pay more than a year or 18 months based on the length of the marriage. If you're afraid y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/09/19 05:33 AM |
| 2 | I [F] know this will be hard regardless, but what would make it easier for him?Bless you. There is no good way to do it. Both of you will be devastated. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/19 02:58 AM |
| 1 | How Many Of You Men Plan On Ever Getting Married Again?If the stars align and hell freezes over again, like it must have done when I met my ex wife, then yeah I'll consider it, but love doesn't come often | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/19 11:01 PM |
| 1 | Question for guys who left but weren’t cheated on by spouseIn an effort to give actual advice...which I kind of forgot to do... Speaking for myself, getting exercise and trying to live cleaner (I am no saint with alcohol myself) have been prime movers for me in a better direction. I joined a meetup group to fight the loneliness and there's always an off chance with these that I might click with someone romantically (has not quite happened yet). My situation left a result where I'm living on my own for the first time ever which requires you to, you know,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/19 04:40 AM |
| 3 | Question for guys who left but weren’t cheated on by spouseYep, I was very nervous, I was defeated, frankly. I just got a call that she was caught drunk at work one day and it was it, I couldn't take her bullshit and havoc anymore. I drove to the store to talk to her manager and get her things, meanwhile her aunt beat me to it and agreed to take her because frankly, this kind of crap had happened so much that her family knew I didn't want to see her. I went home and laid in bed for what felt like days feeling sullen and preparing myself for what had to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/19 04:25 AM |
| 2 | Divorcing an AddictHey there, I know exactly how you feel. I met my ex wife when we were 18, first or second month of college. I was so in love with her. Turned out that our normal college and early 20s drinking turned into a really destructive habit for her. Let's call her H. H always had problems. They were never things that I thought would make me fall out of love with her or divorce her until they did. She dropped out of college because she was depressed and not going to classes. She lost her job for drinking … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/19 04:54 PM |
| 2 | How Do You Deal With The Loss Of MeaningThanks :) I'm slightly suspicious of Mark Manson but he has been recommended to me a number of times. Yeah, I'm here with you wishing. Vulnerability is something you can put effort into and find people who value it 10x more that effort. Throwing out a different name/title: Brene Brown. Forget about dating I've learned so much professionally from being my honest self with people, divorce and all. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/19 04:41 AM |
| 1 | Wife filed now having 2nd thoughtsHow do we know there's another lover? Did I miss that reading it? | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/19 01:38 AM |
| 2 | How Do You Deal With The Loss Of MeaningYou're just going to be really depressed for awhile, your life has changed drastically. First remember that your life has likely changed for better, you're just going to really need to squint to see that before you accept it and when you do it means you're past the worst. Do anything at your disposal to build a new normal. Simply do things you like that don't include her. A big problem is exactly what you said: your whole life feels wrapped-up in her and what your futures together would be. What… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/19 11:57 PM |
| 1 | Signs things are getting betterThanks! It has been a tough road and 95% of the time I've needed to post bad news. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/19 02:35 AM |
| 2 | Gave it everything I couldOh, another thing. Don't let the sexual comments get to you. Everyone is the hero of their own story and if they are having sex, it's always the best sex ever. I have no doubt my ex feels like she's having better sex with short term idiots who haven't known her long enough to build a pervasive distrust of her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/19 06:33 PM |
| 2 | Gave it everything I couldI'm sorry to read this. I tried and tried and tried for years to support my wife even when she did [insert straw breaking camel's back for the umpteenth time]. Separating and divorcing were bar-none the hardest things to do. I still sometimes feel like such a rotten failure. I remember vividly one night, in a drunken stupor, standing outside with a forgotten cigarette, pacing back and forth and crying, "I did everything I could, I tried so hard" again and again. These are dark times. I'm doing b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/19 05:59 PM |
| 2 | Not sure if I should end itYep, OP, it sounds like you know exactly what to do so if you don't do it, maybe the marriage isn't worth it to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/19 09:46 PM |
| 1 | Post divorce cheap vacation destination ideas?I went to Vegas. It is not cheap but I blew $2k at a strip club and it was literally the most fun I've ever had. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/19 04:27 AM |
| 1 | STBX wants to call off divorce at the final hour.What does your gut say? Forgive me I did not read the linked longer-story but my quick thoughts... It's good to hear she is owning her mistakes 100%. Sounds like she has engaged in manipulative behavior and is promising to stop. Assuming it is all her fault this is very good. Do some soul-searching to see where you could improve too. If you've both clearly identified the divide and what's required on both people to fix,DO you really think things will improve? Will the manipulative/toxic behavior… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/19 09:44 PM |
| 2 | My wife wants a divorceI was in the other side of this, in an amicable divorce. Yes, talk to a lawyer, but if you think there is enough respect there, discuss your concerns about the money with her. Every divorce is different so in some circumstances this may be a bad move. But I tried to be as accommodating for my ex as I could from a financial standpoint...gave her time to remain on my health insurance and time to get off the bank accounts....because I didn't want her to be destitute which would have been the case i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/19 08:44 PM |
| 8 | Newly married man needs advice on divorce w/ childrenYeah totally. Baby #2 isn't born yet, and 2 kids in less than a 2 year marriage, now talking about divorcing for a woman with 2 more kids. Slow down. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/19 05:31 PM |
| 1 | I Called the Cops.Well, I definitely came away from it with a few. I have worse trouble with depression, alcohol, weight post-divorce, all problems that weren't there during the marriage | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/19 03:03 PM |
| 2 | I Called the Cops.Boy, that's crazy. Thanks for answering. Unpedictability is mind-breaking. My ex was an alcoholic too. She disappeared twice, I won't ever know all the details but she disappeared for 24-46 hours on two separate occasions. Going through it on the other side was the most traumatic, unforgettable thing, called the cops both times and both times they barely helped to find her (experience taught me, fuck cops). That kind of stuff started years of therapy for her "multiple personalities." We got an e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/19 02:50 AM |
| 1 | I Called the Cops.Checking in. How are things going?? | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/19 01:58 AM |
| 2 | Change in body chemistry?Not sure about odor but I legit gained 50 lbs after my separation/divorce, over about a year. Shit's real. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/19 02:21 PM |
| 1 | My Ex Just got engagedI'm sorry that absolutely sucks. My ex found a boyfriend and moved in with him and it makes me beyond angry to think about it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/19 01:50 AM |
| 2 | Having sex fantasies about my XI definitely fantasize about my ex, from time to time. Often you marry the woman who is especially beautiful to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/19 11:50 PM |
| 2 | The PetitionWell, that would be my one "get ready" item for your checklist. My wife and I were the best of friends for 11 years and divorce just killed that. Was probably the only surprise of the experience. Most people have way more surprises | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/19 12:57 AM |
| 2 | The PetitionIt's hard for me to say. I can't tell you any horror stories but there are plenty on here. I think a lot of people would read my divorce story where the legalisms and results are concerned and think I got divorced in heaven. My regrets are probably not the mainstream regrets or even the healthiest attitudes. One thing I didn t expect was how readily she stopped being my friend. Early in the process there was a mutual commitment to be friends but because of the nature of divorce and the kind of a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/19 12:06 AM |
| 1 | Just separated. Feels like I jumped off a cliff.Would also like to hear dating advice, I'm around your age and really am helpless. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/19 11:57 PM |
| 1 | MistakeRushing from separation to divorce. There were things I could have done....admittedly hard things, like living separately for awhile and giving up our then-home...but we agreed to divorce 1 month into the separation and man I wish I had given it longer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/19 11:52 PM |
| 1 | The PetitionThat's how it works. My divorce worked out as well as possible, we agreed on all the asset division, nothing major to divide anyway, no kids. Just be careful... | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/19 11:42 PM |
| 1 | Should he disclose the affair?"I wonder if I guy posting here would get a different response.." Well....kind of, yeah! That is to say, your AP has so much more license to speak to what HE will put his kids through than what YOU will put HIS kids through. Again I'm approaching this from the perspective of a child of divorce who stayed with his father & the woman he married, than from the perspective of a divorced man myself. The best thing my stepmother did was to stay away from me during the sensitive post-divorce years...an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/03/19 04:38 AM |
| 1 | All the stuffUpdate (i don't know how to edit original) I have some stuff scattered in my moved- out boxes. I don't Look at them. But I want to remember how she looked if I ever want to see them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/19 11:15 PM |
| 2 | Should he disclose the affair?Look, I'm sorry if I offended you in my own comments. Things are not black and white. I think you made a mistake by coming to a place like this whwre, as this one stated,readers are not going to be sympathetic. Your story and your reactions to comments I must say were very triggerring to me. You and your AP are coming-off as doing the wrong thing in the first place with the affair and shamelessly planning to replace the existing wife (faults regardless) and take 100% custody of the kids. Then wh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/19 11:08 PM |
| 2 | Should he disclose the affair?The conceit and lack of insight you display here is unbelievable. Forget about moral judgment and ask yourself this, I trulywant to know: what will you so if (i will give you the benefit of the doubt and say "if" but man this is a real confident "when") his kids don't welcome you with open arms? This is a massive, massive assumption you seem to be making. Right now you're just calling everyone wrong,is this how you're going to treat them? Are you going to just try to convince them youre a better… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/19 10:55 PM |
| 1 | Should he disclose the affair?Second WTF!! Only you know what the circumstances are but the boldness of this, as a child of divorce and a divorced man, is offensive to me. I didn't care how much healthier my stepmother was, all I knew was she was NOT MY MOM and she could not replace her. I took huge offense to things that she did that only SEEMED like she was trying to replace her (even though looking back she was not). My brother and sister barely speak to her. Here you are talking like you're just going to dance into the r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/19 10:47 PM |
| 1 | All the stuffInteresting, my ex also wasn't right in the head. In my case the doctors could never agree on what exactly was wrong because she lied so friggin much | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/19 03:56 AM |
| 1 | Need a little helpYes indeed. Cheers. Good luck to you too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/19 02:23 AM |
| 1 | Need a little helpYup there's your sign. My drinking steadily increased in the last few months of our marriage when shit was really hitting the fan. Then just before my 30th birthday I lost her, lost my home, moved back in with my parents after an adulthood of independence. Then I really hit the bottle. A little over a year later and I'm literally 50 lbs heavier and my body just can't take the abuse anymore. Trying to fix my body and grit my teeth through the emotions and just talk as much as I can to keep my han… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/19 02:18 AM |
| 1 | Need a little helpI also found myself grow very tired of hearing the same old advice in therapy | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/19 02:09 AM |
| 1 | Need a little helpNo tips except probably cool it on the drinking. I have the same problem,among all the others, and a bit of alcoholism. They say not drinking helps you to get into healthier habits but I'm not convinced yet, I mainly find I just feel the anger and sense of grief more strongly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/19 02:08 AM |
| 2 | All the stuffThat sucks. Is it better you don't have them? | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/19 10:55 PM |
| 1 | Time to divorce?Yeah lol? I thought you were suggesting the opposite above, sarcastically? | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/19 09:56 PM |
| 1 | ReconciliationGreat question. I'm still coming to grips with that. In truth one of the worst things I've done in this process is let myself think it was possible. About 14 months post-separation which was two months after divorce finalized, she moved in with somone (a personal fucking trainer!!!) which was a real wakeup call. I am BEYOND angry thinking that she can move on so effortlessly and I try not to think about it, which is a big challenge | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/19 08:50 PM |
| 1 | Hope lostI think you misread this. OP is suggesting she's going out with his best friend on the side?? | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/19 08:41 PM |
| 1 | Time to divorce?Also I should note since you are not YET divorced we might not be a very good audience, I think we would certainly skew towards a "yes" outright given our collective divorced-dude experience | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/19 07:54 PM |
| 2 | Time to divorce?Do agree waaaay more info is needed here. You sound super-checked-out, to be frank. Do you want a divorce? Why do you think she's giving you this kind of feedback? | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/19 07:49 PM |
| 2 | Time to divorce?Seems harsh | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/19 07:43 PM |
| 1 | No kidsDamn that suuuucks man | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/19 04:52 PM |
| 1 | Why do men move out during the divorce or let their wife kick them out?That seems to be a broad, assumptive generalization. In my case we both moved out. To the degree it's true, in America: culture. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/19 04:43 PM |
| 1 | No kidsNeediness, lack of self-esteem on my part I suppose? | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/19 04:41 PM |
| 3 | Admittedly unhealthy thought...Reading again. I struggle so much to forget about her. It feels sinful to forget about her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/19 06:34 AM |
| 2 | Admittedly unhealthy thought...I'm not crying but close. There's so much that I want to tell her about what's happened to me. Except she couldn't care less. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/19 06:14 AM |
| 2 | Admittedly unhealthy thought...Lol...exactly what I wanted? Thanks boss | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/19 04:02 AM |
| 2 | Admittedly unhealthy thought...The thought process I fight against is: she had it for 11 years, if that's what we will call it. what else was I living for? | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/19 03:04 AM |
| 3 | Admittedly unhealthy thought...I am 6 drinks in lol! Because I would like to imagine that after 11 years she thought that much for me. One of my problems is knowing that in retrospect, I loved her far more than she was capable of loving me. Sorry to say she's not capable of caring about anything too much. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/19 02:31 AM |
| 3 | Am I ready for divorce?Yeah man this is really toxic. I was looking forward to the age reveal at the end which made most of your story happening when you and her were teenagers, of all things. I was in a toxic relationship 11 years that didn t start feeling or looking objectively toxic until year 6 or so. It sounds like you know she's toxic and has been since you were, in high school? I suggest moving on. The financials will take care of themselves. Best of luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/19 01:59 AM |
| 1 | Am I ready for divorce?Dude I was NOT going to slam this post like this | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/19 01:56 AM |
| 2 | No kidsIt's up to me to a large extent but not "all" up to me. I guess you could say I am sweating what I can't control which is a fair criticism | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/19 01:19 AM |
| 1 | No kidsI'm so sorry if I hit a nerve here. No doubt, it's better this way than otherwise. And for the record...Yeah she was crazy. Talking: disappears twice, 1 DUI, hidden credit lines, several hospital visits, crazy. The "find a new wife, have kids with her" bit is just a big if without a lot of work on myself and a lot of luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/19 01:18 AM |
| 3 | No kidsSucks that we're all so disposable that feelings will eventually fade even after something like marriage.. As far as trust is concerned, the bigger bear in my mind is finding a woman willing to trust me and not the other way around | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/19 10:41 PM |
| 1 | No kidsJesus, gives me goosebumps that she would have kids with someone else. About 16 months after separation began, she moved in with some guy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/19 10:31 PM |
| 1 | Hope lostYeah,i don't get it either, but I appreciate pushing memes on a platform that sorely needs some humor | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/19 10:26 PM |
| 1 | Meeting womenThanks to you too. Curious, At a quick glance on Google...how come it's described as a "foundational book in the Red Pill community?" :/ | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/19 08:24 PM |
| 1 | Meeting womenThank you | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/19 07:41 AM |
| 1 | Why can’t I just let it go?Not to beat a dead horse, but to echo what I said in my own reply here: don't give your hopes up on a second relationship. I truly hope that does happen for you if the stars align. For me though having these kinds of thoughts and continuing interactions with my ex has not only brought me pain, but it made me get my hopes up in-spite of myself. I'm sorry man, reading this sounds so much like my headspace this last year. I don't really see the light at the end of the tunnel but people here say it'… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/19 07:37 AM |
| 1 | Why can’t I just let it go?I see a lot of what I went through in this story, and what I will say is you need to force yourself to break contact with her. I think a lot of guys fantasize in their first year of separation, if you were together for that long, that maybe someday you will get back together. That was definitely the case for me and even while we were going through the process, I tried to remain friends. We talked frequently and, sometimes, amicably. (At the very least: this helped to ensure a pretty smooth divor… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/19 07:27 AM |
| 2 | Dissociation from the world100%. At my age I see most people around me buying their first (or second) homes, getting married, having their first or second kids. Meanwhile I had the marriage, went through the divorce, and the prospect of a happy marriage with children...children by a woman I absolutely adored...is gone. Every day has ups and downs and I'm like you struggling to find a new normal. Looking back I was a codependent of my wife's, and she probably never loved/was devoted to me in the same way I was with regards… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/19 07:15 AM |
| 2 | Stay in room mate marriage or give her a pile of moneyTalk to a lawyer. My marriage was a lot shorter, but same situation as far as money was concerned. You might be surprised. My lawyer talked about having "carrots." if she wanted to come after my 401k, I could come after her for the years of expenses she promised to pay me back for and didn't (that was one of my "carrots" I could pull if necessary). In the end the splitting-up of assets wasn't as bad as expected because neither of us wanted to escalate things. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/19 07:03 AM |
| 2 | Looking for apartments seems really depressing? Any experience or advice.I may be in a similar-ish situation. I'd spent my entire adulthood with my ex and during that time we lived in a house owned by her cousin, who rented it to us for a bargain. At 31 not only am I kind of new to apartment shopping, it strikes me as really expensive and MEANWHILE a lot of people my age are suggesting it's more cost-efficient to just buy a house. Depressing definitely, but mainly the experience is intimidating! As a consequence what was supposed to be a few months layover living bac… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/19 06:52 AM |
| 2 | Getting back in shapeHeck, when I read this I was hoping to see some advice on getting started on getting back into shape, but it sounds like you're already in the habit of going to the gym & know your body well enough to notice the decrease in strength. Godspeed, you're way ahead of me sounds like. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/19 06:35 AM |
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