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butterflyhalo Archive

View 5 posts and 43 comments by butterflyhalo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

So what do you do when the man takes you for granted?
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 04:23 PM
1

Yes he said he wants it too but at his own pace, so no timeframe. He was cheated on in his last relationship, which he says is the reason. I personally feel he just wants his bachelorhood, but also get the benefits and affection of a relationship, which isn't fair to me.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/19 05:56 PM
1

Thank you for your response. I'm not doing ultimatums, just walking away due to the pace not working for me. I do agree that men will do anything for the right woman and another line of thought is to see if the separation helps him realize if I am that woman or not. If not, great, I will keep dating. If I am, great, I can be fulfilled.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/19 05:18 PM
1

Thank you for your response! That's what I'm afraid of, being the girl who won't be his wife because she just stuck around.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/19 05:15 PM
1

It seems like in today's age, especially in liberal cities, men have little to no motivation to marry and will try to just keep his bachelorhood as long as possible.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/19 05:12 PM
1

Currently dating someone very busy in tech as well and on top of it, he lives about 40 mins away. Adjustment is that I had to accept him being unable to meet me wasn't him rejecting me. A lot of times I wasn't sure and had my hamster running when I wouldn't see him as frequently but I had to just trust him. Trust him! I also give him massages when I see him and he seems to really appreciate it. If he doesn't text me cuz he's busy, I don't bomb his phone and give him space. And try to just be pos…
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/19 04:37 PM
1

Sure everyone has preferences. But keep in mind makeup isn’t just foundation or anything to do with pores. When I do natural make up, I just do lipstick and mascara and don’t wear foundation. And you can make those with completely natural ingredients and it wouldn’t be an environmental issue. It just makes me feel more.. colorful, like decorated and girly. I don’t think I’m being deceptive wearing lipstick and mascara.. sure some people can end up looking like a completely different person, but …
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/19 06:01 AM
19

The more you text him, the more he is losing desire for you as you are seeming desperate and lacking self control. No one is turned on by desperate. Also it sounds like he doesn’t care about you if he disappears for weeks at a time, you should move on and find someone who cares about your feelings.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/19 01:26 PM
17

Do natural makeup looks! If make up is misleading then so are beards on men... additionally there’s several research that men like natural make up looks over no makeup or overly done. It just makes you more presentable/put together.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/19 12:57 AM
10

You need to figure out what features are the issue (nose, lips, jaw?). Make up contour can help a lot! Plastic surgery is drastic and if it goes wrong, destructive. You can look into facial fillers for subtle changes on problem areas! They’re also reversible. I’ve seen so many unattractive people look good just with makeup!
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/19 12:51 AM
9

It is its own topic for sure. Apparently a lot of marriages that end up being sexless over time (and consequently breaking) are due to this practice of making your partner fill multiple roles in your life. I’ve personally seen several times that couples who are always together end up losing sexual attraction for each other. It is so important to have full separate lives of your own including sources of emotional support
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/19 12:49 AM
22

Love this. This is also discussed in the book ‘Mating in captivity’. Desire fades if no mystery remains and depending on one person to fulfill all your emotional needs will lead to a decline in sexual attraction over time.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/19 12:39 AM
3

Depends entirely on the maturity of the individuals. Some people mature earlier than others. I personally think that if an individual is financially stable, emotionally mature and has dated enough to understand what kind of relationship/partner they would thrive in/with, they're good to marry. And that can happen at any age.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/19 10:23 PM
16

fresh out of an abusive relationship that lasted nearly 3 years Yes. You haven't been single in a long time and self-improvement requires focus on self. Understanding and working on your flaws, appearances, life vision and being your best self should be your goal out of nun mode.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/19 10:21 PM
2

Frozen fish/meats - esp shrimps & salmon Veggies that I buy bi-weekly: Tomatoes, potatoes, onions, spinach, scallion, cilantro, carrots Seasoning: Salt, garlic, cumin, red peppers, cinnamon, herb de Provence (a few more I don't recall) Condiments: Light Mayo, vodka sauce, tomato garlic sauce, parmesan cheese Cashew nuts & other nut mix Milk, yogurt, eggs & bread Lots of different types of teas Some protein bars, cereal, chia seeds Rice noodles & spaghetti Fruits : Apple & banana Sparkling wine &…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/19 08:42 PM
2

If you search on Pinterest for winter dresses you should find a lot of inspiration! My go-to winter style was jeans and sweaters but I just didn't feel feminine enough in them, so I'm in the process of switching over to winter dresses as well. I've found most full sleeve dresses + tights work fine as long as you wear a warm coat on top.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/19 08:25 PM
14

Learning and self-improvement - being my best self :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/19 05:18 PM
5

I’m in NY/NYC area and get catcalled like every other day. Once I got catcalled twice in 2 minutes by two separate passing cars. Honestly it’s just hilarious to me at this point. It doesn’t bother me anymore. Idk what factors into it, just providing data point. It’s definitely location related I’d say
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/18 11:50 PM
1

Did he make eye contact back? It’s possible he isn’t single/wasn’t interested. I usually just smile and let men approach me and I’ve found that the more masculine men prefer that too
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/18 06:28 PM
1

Hi yes, I’ve read that book and it was super insightful. In fact it led to this question in the first place. In the book, the author says you know by 6 months whether to marry someone or not, which seemed pretty quick by the standards of a lot of American couples I know. I’m saying American because I’m not and the man I’m seeing is and I suppose I was trying to understand what most people consider ideal, as with the book, people around us and my culture, it’s all a crazy mix. I want to be marrie…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/18 07:53 AM
1

I’m 24, he’s almost 27 and we’ve been dating 5 months. You’re right about it being cultural and regional and I suppose that’s why I asked because I’m not American and the person I’m seeing is (and in my culture you marry quickly and you only date with the end goal of marriage). Seems like this is a conversation me and him need to have as our cultural difference means there’s no ‘normal’ for us when it comes to marriage. And congrats on the wedding!! :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/18 07:37 AM
1

Hi! Thank you for your answer. Reading all these comments I think I missed an important info to add here. I’m dating someone who is white American, but I’m not (moved here fairly recently) and I come from a culture where marriage rates are pretty high (South Asia). Because of this cultural difference, it’s hard to gauge which way things would go. Maybe that’s why I even asked this in the first place, I’ve just been confused by how different our marriage cultures are. I don’t care for a wedding a…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/18 07:27 AM
2

Hi, thank you so much for pointing out about expectations not being communicated. We have so far discussed that we are on that route (dating for marriage) but haven't discussed a timeline, so it seems like that's a topic that we need to touch upon to manage expectations and to be on the same page. I love your story and would love a methodical approach to marriage myself! :) Again thank you so much for your advice!
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/18 04:36 PM
2

I can see waiting too long or rushing too quickly causing issues. That makes a lot of sense! :) And thank you for providing your own example, I'd prefer a discussion rather than an out of nowhere proposal myself as well, there's so much logistics involved in marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/18 04:30 PM
1

I do come from a conservative background and the man I'm dating is aware of this, so it's kind of implied we are courting for marriage as an end-goal. I fully agree with marriage being important for women, which is why I do want it sooner than later. It would especially be a good idea for us financially. Thank you for the insight and the perspective that I should be seeing it as what I'm selling.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/18 04:30 PM
1

I’ve found the sequel to be more expanded with a focus on securing commitment
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 09:25 PM
15

I've found 'Why Men Marry Bitches' (which is a sequel) to be a more well-rounded read. Interesting idea to read the books written for male perspective, I'm adding no. 5 to my list :) Would also recommend 'Getting to I Do' by Pat Allen and 'Mating in Captivity' by Esther Perel. One book that helped me in early courting stages was 'Art of Seduction' by Robert Greene, although it's a bit different from the ones on this list, but still immensely helpful insight on being desirable.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 07:58 PM
6

I read my own highlighted excerpts on kindle, has helped me loads! Helps me get into RPW mindset and calm my negative emotions :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/18 04:50 AM
21

Congratulations :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/18 04:48 AM
1

Yes guys will be quick to jump to conclusion that you are victimizing yourself. Also nothing wrong with looking at men 25-27.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/18 08:22 PM
5

To be honest, I think you should go into nun mode for a bit. Given you are just coming out of a relationship, it would be a good idea to focus on yourself and self-improvement than finding someone new. As for online dating, really depends on WHERE - some cities are more open to it and have higher quality people than others. The red flag to me is more that you dated a guy who forced you into getting a boob job. It sounds abusive and I hope you have since healed yourself emotionally completely fir…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/18 06:32 PM
–

I take candlelit hot baths with aromatherapy 2x a week. Also own a massage pillow I got from amazon which is great for back or neck muscle relaxation! Some journaling and meditations with crystals are also great for self-care.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/18 06:23 PM
3

I get under eye fillers and it’s been life-changing and makes me look so much more youthful. Under eyes also last a while. Unlike Botox fillers are reversible/can be dissolved. But it’s important to go to a good injector as it’s all about placement!
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 01:33 PM
6

Gel Pedicures - 150/year Makeup - 200/year (I’m a minimalist so I typically have one of each kind. Eg one bronzer, one concealer, etc and some items last over a year so really just the up keep!). Skin & hair care - 150/year. Same as above! Hair - trim myself and box dye up keep (60/year). I just do a shade that’s very close to my natural color, so it’s easy to do with box dye. Eyebrows & manicures - do myself Laser hair removal for bikini area - 300/year Facial Fillers - ~ 1000/year (really vari…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 03:02 AM
1

I can't even imagine what he must be going through and feel grateful everyday that he's choosing to be so good to me rather than becoming a woman-hating player. Thank you so much for your advice! I'm trying my best to be patient and show him that he can trust me. Just clueless on how long it might take him to get over it, or if he ever fully will.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/18 12:21 AM
3

I love the big gesture advice, this made me realize I could be more open myself and inspire/initiate trust as you said. Thank you so much for this!! This opened my eyes on what I could be doing better rather than just being passive. Luckily he doesn't flake, he's wonderful - just seems to always assume I will leave one day. I want to be more honest that I will never treat him that way, that he can rely on me more than that but I also don't know what could emotionally overwhelm him/scare him away…
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/18 12:15 AM
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Yes eyebrows are SO IMPORTANT. Changes my entire face! Been in my routine for years now
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/18 10:01 PM
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Oo thanks, gotta try this :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/18 10:00 PM
1

Depends on the guy and his level of dominance. Definitely don't come across as desperate no matter what, that's the biggest turn off/feelings killer. Maybe pull back and when he comes around/inquires, tell him you want more. But be ready to walk away if he doesn't want more
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/18 09:59 PM
1

You need to work on your issues first otherwise they will manifest in one form or another later. Also there’s a lot of assuming/overthinking and you’re clearly unsure of his intentions... and maybe he is too. He definitely liked you at some point but feelings can change. Maybe take a step back and let him take the lead?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/18 06:57 PM
–

What's the one beauty change you made that had the most effect (other than weight loss)?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/18 06:43 PM
2

Yes for sure. My focus periods are generally a month or two long. I’d say try to introduce one or two habits at a time instead of overwhelming yourself. The book ‘power of habit’ was very helpful in learning more about habit formation, which is crucial in achieving permanent lifestyle changes! Otherwise you’d end up going back to your old ways after feeling demotivated at being bad at following through your goals
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/18 07:32 PM
3

Hi! I'm in the exact same boat - I've noticed it helps if you aren't too harsh on yourself but maintaining optimism on your ability to do it. So much of it is just mental. Also for me, it's easier to cut DOWN on things like alcohol/social media than cut out completely. So you might find it easier to make gradual changes rather than drastic overnight, as the habits are more likely to stick. Sometimes it helps to put the focus entirely on yourself - I've had periods where I'd hangout with friends …
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/18 04:34 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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