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cactiguy18 Archive

View 4 posts and 91 comments by cactiguy18 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

100%. I still try online dating occasionally but it definitely just isn't the same in that regard. I'm sure it goes both ways, some people you'd hit it off with online and not in person and others you may very well click amazingly in person but not at all online. I find in general though unless I have already met someone in person then I'm pretty dry over text regardless, I need that real life interaction for there to even be a chance to really show my personality
/r/seduction17/06/20 06:01 PM
2

It's gotta be a chemistry thing. I'm INTP so I get it too. It's still interesting though how you can't really pick out what it is specifically about the people who bring it out in you vs those who don't. It's like before you've even said more than 5 words to each other you just know.
/r/seduction17/06/20 05:58 PM
8

100% some people I'm practically a dead fish with and others I can just naturally talk to for hours. Don't even know what it is exactly, but it's definitely a thing.
/r/seduction16/06/20 11:04 PM
2

I think you missed the point. It's all about social status
/r/seduction09/06/20 12:11 PM
5

I'm at 1 year and this is me exactly. Doesn't give me much hope for the future. Though I guess there are some people you never truly get over, you just learn to live without them, except for the occasional time when they find their way back into your head and you just gotta stick it out.
/r/seduction16/05/20 03:47 PM
1

This all the way
/r/seduction15/02/20 03:46 PM
8

Very true. Times I've had more success, I've been with a group of friends when I met the girl, I tend to be a natural leader in a friend group and so others have picked up on that. Times I wasn't successful is when I didn't have any friends around and did it alone. There's direct correlation
/r/seduction10/02/20 04:07 PM
1

YES. I made a post on here a while ago saying the same thing. Eye contact is severely underrated. It tells all. You can use it to get a girl interested too. Come to think of it the times I've been successful, whether it be a hookup, or even past girlfriends, is when I conciously used strong eye contact. It's key.
/r/seduction08/02/20 05:36 PM
1

Fuck, I relate to your second example way to hard. Glad to hear I wasn't the only one that shit happened to. Why it gotta be perfect one moment and then she dumps your ass the next, it's so weird. But it definitely taught me the moral of your post, nothing is ever for sure. Even when you definitely think you got em, it could turn around for no reason.
/r/seduction25/12/19 04:59 AM
1

This reverberates with me especially today
/r/seduction07/12/19 07:15 AM
3

Happened to me on the bus. Was just sitting there when I happened to look over at this cute girl, my age, and our eyes met. It was an immediate intensity, I could feel her eyes locked with mine and I just knew. I chickened out and looked away after less than a second. It just caught me so off gaurd. I wish now I had held it for longer, maybe gave her a bit of a smile. She looked at me a few more times before we got off, but less and less intense each time, I guess I'd fucked it up the first time…
/r/seduction02/12/19 01:20 AM
1

And you compare some of them to the guys who succeed, they are equally as attractive, outgoing, fun to be around etc, and yet they just get ignored. It's weird.
/r/seduction02/12/19 01:13 AM
1

I wonder this too. It's like some guys are just missing something
/r/seduction02/12/19 12:56 AM
3

It's impossible to describe it, but when you have it happen to you, you just know
/r/seduction02/12/19 12:53 AM
1

LMAO wtf
/r/seduction30/11/19 11:14 PM
1

Congrats man. For real, this is inspiring me to do the same. Girl in my physics lecture who I just melt over, I really want to talk to her especially since the semester is almost over, but I've been to nervous/ worried about what to even say to her. You showed that it doesn't have to be anything crazy witty or direct.
/r/seduction27/11/19 06:38 PM
1

So I'm ugly to almost everyone? I mean, yeah I get that I'm not prince charming over here, but I'd say I am a little above average, especially in the last few months I've really worked on my appearance. And people tell me I am attractive, yet...??
/r/seduction25/11/19 01:54 PM
1

I honestly have the opposite problem sometimes haha. The couple times I've had a girlfriend, I tend to enjoy her company so much that I over focus on her and I neglect my friends. I know it's bad, and I have been working on it, but it's hard. I've found a good way is if she gets along with my other friends as well and that way we can all hang out sometimes.
/r/seduction24/11/19 02:13 PM
1

Yeah, that might be it. I feel awkward being too forward, it just feels out of place, and I don't want to make her uncomfortable. The few times I have been successful is when I just said 'fuck it' and went for it, and hey it did pay off. I usually have no issue with say, teasing a girl, so that is my go to flirting method. Sure it works to an extent, but it obviously lacks. So I get I should still work on that; I think what I don't get is that women are drawn to my friends (Who are similar to me…
/r/seduction23/11/19 07:22 PM
2

I feel like this is also why my relationships I have had fail after a few months. Initially, it usually starts with her chasing me (When it does rarely happen) and so I am indifferent, and am my natural self. Then when I begin to be attracted to her/ develop feelings, I start worrying more and more about everything, and I slowly lose myself. Then she pulls away.
/r/seduction23/11/19 07:17 PM
2

I experienced emotional abuse growing up. Is it possible this would affect it? My issues aren't with physical touch, but with internal thought processes, which would make sense.
/r/seduction23/11/19 07:15 PM
1

Not really? In general none of them really show any interest. They enjoy talking to me etc, want to get to know me, but it seems to be very platonic
/r/seduction23/11/19 07:09 PM
1

Yeah. I get their contact but they don't show enough interest etc. It very much seems like a platonic thing?
/r/seduction23/11/19 07:08 PM
1

I may be somewhat guilty of this? I don't just comply with everything people say to me as it sounds he does. If I have a different opinion etc, I will say it. So though I don't think I am that extreme, I do relate to the other parts. I tend to be needy in relationships, and mine haven't lasted for more than a few months either. I am working on it/ have improved, and am not outwardly clingy and needy like I was with my first girlfriend. That shit was just... sad. But like you said, its severity d…
/r/seduction23/11/19 07:07 PM
1

Ok I'd appreciate if you didn't assume the worst? By get out every night I meant I don't sit alone at home all the time; I hang out with friends/ family. At most I get drunk and party once a week. I know very well it has to be someone I enjoy being with. I don't want a relationship for the sake of having a relationship, I want to meet someone whom I connect with. It isn't my 'bro' friends either?? I have an almost 50/50 mix of dude and girl friends that I hang out with. Those things you mention …
/r/seduction23/11/19 07:03 PM
1

No, but that's cause it never gets that far in the first place
/r/seduction23/11/19 07:44 AM
3

I think that might be part of my problem honestly. The girls I'm not into, they're into me, and the girls j actually am interested in want nothing do with me. I don't get it, why does it have to be this way
/r/seduction23/11/19 07:41 AM
2

I'm not being a dick to people. And look, I know it's hard to believe that from some rando off the internet, but really. I am not, and I have many friends I have made recently and many people who tell me I'm a great person. (Not trying to toot my own horn, just saying others don't think I'm a dick either)
/r/seduction23/11/19 07:40 AM
2

I get lost somewhere between 2 and 3 ?? I talk to them and flirt, get their social media but.... They just.. shoe no interest whatsoever?
/r/seduction23/11/19 07:37 AM
1

I have the social skills to make friends, I have lots of those. Idk I'm just lacking them in the flirting department ig?
/r/seduction23/11/19 07:30 AM
2

Oh shit. I hadn't even considered that. So it isn't even nessecarily explicitly a sexual trauma? Because I did experience emotional abuse as a child. Maybe I do have a more repressed physical one too. I have always been a little, different, when it comes to my sexuality. I can't quite put my finger in it but I'm definitely different than most people.
/r/seduction23/11/19 12:16 AM
8

Yeah I feel this so hard. Trying any harder and it would just be... weird. I have great charisma in general but for some reason it doesn't click with ladies. I feel like we are forever destined to be that mediocre middle. We aren't incels or anything, and will occasionally have luck, but no where near like some guys inexplicably do
/r/seduction22/11/19 11:45 PM
3

Damn. I wish there wasn't a risk of that, cause yeah that's what I'm most worried of. I guess though everything takes practice, so I have to risk that. I don't even know how to make that initial push though without feeling uncomfortable but I guess I'll have to. Thanks for helping me realize that was my issue though haha, I honestly has no idea.
/r/seduction22/11/19 11:35 PM
1

Very good point. Tho I should clarify that I also have many women friends, some of whom I am very close too. If that were me (and I can assure you it's not haha) wouldn't these friends of mine sensed it too?
/r/seduction22/11/19 11:16 PM
10

Ok yeah actually I think you may have hit the nail on the head. Come to think of it, my other friends are VERY sexual. Now, I'm not opposed to sex obviously, but yeah the idea of being overtly sexual with a girl is somewhat unsettling to me, even though I have had sexual experiences before. I don't wanna come across as creepy/ invasive etc, I don't want to make them uncomfortable, and thus I hold back. I get that it's a learning process, but I really don't know what to do.
/r/seduction22/11/19 08:54 PM
2

Just need clarification, do you mean uncomfortable with my sexual orientation? Or just being sexual with others in general
/r/seduction22/11/19 08:38 PM
-1

Right.. which explains why I have so many friends who love and support me....
/r/seduction22/11/19 08:06 PM
6

Ok but wait why do I actually feel like this might be true LMAO
/r/seduction22/11/19 06:52 PM
9

I do put effort in though. And that is what I don't get. I guess I see it as unfair, yes, but unfair that they do nothing and I am over here trying my ass off and it still doesn't work. Maybe I am still missing something though. Perhaps I haven't found what it is yet. I won't give up. I will keep trying till something works. I am just getting tired of it, that's all.
/r/seduction22/11/19 06:52 PM
10

I guess what I don't get is that I see my friends getting success without even trying. People have told me I am just as attractive as my friends, and personality wise we are very similar, I am even more outgoing then some of them, and yet for some reason women are just drawn to them instead?
/r/seduction22/11/19 06:01 PM
4

It can't be number one, I have had past relationships so I know what to expect. May be a mix of the latter two. I do suppose I have rather high/specific standards, so that significantly shrinks the dating pool. As a result then I guess I deep down don't want it, at least not often. I don't want a relationship just for the sake of having one, I want one with someone I connect with. I guess my biggest gripe is more why haven't I met anyone like that, when I have been so social.
/r/seduction22/11/19 05:53 PM
183

But like.... what if you are social and get out almost every night and also aren't ugly.... then why are you single
/r/seduction22/11/19 04:42 PM
5

I wish it was that easy. Overthinking is just something that seems innate in me. I can't seem to stop doing it.
/r/seduction15/11/19 07:13 PM
2

See that's it, I don't find many women physically attractive. Idk, I have a pretty specific type. By all means I'll try to approach any that I'm attracted to, just doesn't happen often. Maybe it's digging myself in a hole, but I don't know. I wish I found more attractive, but I can't force it and a lot of them just don't do anything for me.
/r/seduction11/11/19 04:11 AM
2

So you disagree with op then?
/r/seduction11/11/19 02:50 AM
13

I know what I want, and it's hard to find, it's pretty rare. That's why I don't often approach many women, they aren't what I want.
/r/seduction10/11/19 08:46 PM
2

I know lol, was just joking around. I definetley have been aware of this idea for a while, no one enjoys being around someone who is all stern and cautious. It's all about loosening up and having fun, which will reflect on her and leads to her not only finding you funny but being comfortable around you. Both of which are absolutely crucial.
/r/seduction15/10/19 08:49 PM
1

TL;DR Be a pedo......
/r/seduction15/10/19 04:04 PM
1

Welp great lmao. I mean I guess I don't need to, like I said I have gotten by ok with just teasing girls and making them laugh. Just wish I could do more, according to the aforementioned girl, since I don't flirt, it's hard for her (and others) to know I'm into them, so I almost friendzone myself
/r/seduction26/08/19 03:08 PM
1

Yeah actually I think this is one big thing I struggle doing. I just don't know usually how to smoothly break the touch barrier again without it seeming creepy or forced. As for the spark, I know it. There are some girls that I guess I have found it very easy to flirt with, I've felt that spark, that magnetic pull.
/r/seduction26/08/19 03:05 PM
2

Yeah I totally get this. I'm heading into uni now and trying to improve my appearance, and I have friends who think I'm a player (literally one called me one today) and girls are into me, but I've never gone further than kissing only a few times, and often the girls that I am talking to/are interested in me, it never goes anywhere and just dies. I don't know what to do either lmao
/r/seduction24/08/19 11:53 AM
2

LMAO yes very true, just shows there's entitled asses on both ends of the scale
/r/seduction24/08/19 11:23 AM
3

Just buy a certain piece of furniture from Ikea you designate as the tinder table or whatnot and always keep it disassembled so it's ready to go
/r/seduction23/08/19 03:23 AM
1

Awesome thanks
/r/seduction21/08/19 09:37 PM
3

I get this. I find at some points in my life I'm able to do this and it does indeed work and others I get worked up and start trying and thinking about it and then girls are not interested. It's stupid cause I know it works to not try, but sometimes I can't help it and I over think and try too hard. So I know I am able to not try and not give a shit, but any tips on how to make that mindset a constant in life?
/r/seduction21/08/19 08:55 PM
1

Doesn't mean he should
/r/seduction20/08/19 11:21 AM
1

Literally the title is enough reason
/r/seduction20/08/19 02:30 AM
6

Don't
/r/seduction19/08/19 12:50 PM
1

Oh damn, cool, I understand more Swedish than I thought lmao
/r/seduction07/08/19 11:44 PM
27

This is random but, I don't speak any Swedish but feel I still understand this somewhat from the dutch and bit of Norwegian I know... I'm gonna take a shot 'Something that worked for me the other day was "Hey, I thought you looked sweet so I thought I'd talk to you. What's you're name?"' How'd I do??
/r/seduction05/08/19 02:09 PM
1

Idk man, I've been in a similar spot. Started hanging out with an ex again and definitely seemed like she was into me, friends said it too, she flirted with me etc, kept repeatedly asking to see me sometimes days in a row, eventually we went over to her place and it started to progress a little bit beyond 'friends' and the next day she immediately dropped off and wanted little to do with me. Rinse and repeat the same thing a few months later only we actually dated again for a bit and long story …
/r/seduction27/07/19 08:41 PM
2

Agree 100 % I wrote something very similar a year ago https://www.reddit.com/r/socialskills/comments/94rxb7/ive_become_much_more_confident_around_girls_heres/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
/r/seduction26/07/19 02:35 AM
1

If you can sense that you both want it, ie that electricity is there in the air and you are making good eye contact, but the only problem is you are both talking, then there is an old trick I have heard works really well. Just one word. Wait. When she is talking, make sure you are looking her in the eyes, you are close to her, and then just say wait. She will stop, look to you for what you mean, and you answer by planting one on her lips
/r/seduction23/07/19 02:18 AM
1

Let us know how it goes!
/r/seduction21/07/19 11:52 PM
1

LMAO. I mean she usually kept the convos going even when they were dead, so doesn't seem like she was bored. I did end up just going with it, passed the shit test with a funny remark. Guess I'll see where it goes
/r/seduction21/07/19 12:27 AM
1

Yeah I know, I just couldn't think of a better word for what happened. I know she was out of the country for a bit, so that explains some of it, but the week before she left is when I'd seen if she was free and she kept saying no with excuses
/r/seduction21/07/19 12:25 AM
1

Ok yeah I thought it was a shit test. Kind of proud of myself, it's the first shit test I've noticed. I'll keep rolling with it; still confused as to what all that was 2 weeks ago though
/r/seduction21/07/19 12:23 AM
1

Kind of? I'm not really into her or anything but I would be curious to see if it went anywhere. I guess I will roll with it but if we have a repeat of 2 weeks ago I'll end it all for good
/r/seduction21/07/19 12:21 AM
1

LMAO. Wouldn't have gone that far but yeah I'm probably staying away
/r/seduction21/07/19 12:20 AM
16

No way! I was just about to post this same thing. Had been thinking about eye contact recently and how powerful it really is. It can make or break a situation. I can think of times were I am pretty sure I got a girl interested in me mainly with strong eye contact. And hearing this from you is proof of that!
/r/seduction20/07/19 02:19 PM
3

So true, especially about making it work, wish I'd heard this a few months ago...
/r/seduction20/07/19 06:17 AM
3

Be yourself
/r/seduction20/07/19 06:16 AM
1

Ugh, I feel ya. Same happened to me a few weeks ago by the end of the night everyone and my friends were getting some and k was just there. I did nothing different from my friends, and yet they did and I didn't. We are all attractive etc
/r/seduction20/07/19 06:15 AM
1

This
/r/seduction19/07/19 10:58 PM
1

Very true, it is a human thing. And the more you do it the better you'll get. I think in today's society so many people DON'T use eye contact that when someone does they stand out even more
/r/seduction19/07/19 01:17 PM
1

I'd agree that listening and responding accordingly is also important, but I have seen first hand the power of eye contact. You can use it to control people to a certain extent. It's almost scary. I used to be skeptical as well, 'tHe eYeS aRe tHe WiNdoW tOo ThE sOuL' my ass, but over the past year I've seen how true that really can be. Look a girl deep on the eyes while talking to her and she's yours
/r/seduction19/07/19 01:16 PM
2

Great post. The eye contact one is sooooo true. It actually can make the world of a difference. I have gotten girls interested just through eye contact, even used it to get an ex back once. It's sometimes hard to remember/do but it's crucial
/r/seduction19/07/19 01:54 AM
2

Let me just say now, it's not worth it. I know right now it seems like it could still work out but really, getting back together with an ex rarely turns out well. You guys broke up for a reason, and regardless of what either of you does to 'fix it' the issue will still be there if you get back together, and often the reason you broke up the first time will be the same reason the next time. I think the only time getting back together with an ex works is when it's YEARS down the road and you two h…
/r/seduction18/07/19 12:29 PM
1

Ah rip. Well it's not the end of the world as long as you do it eventually
/r/seduction16/07/19 09:01 PM
1

Agreed. I really only use social media for keeping up contact with girls I have already met in person when a significant period of time will pass before I can see her/ go out with her again. It really isn't useful for actually getting a girl in the first place, just keeping them hooked.
/r/seduction16/07/19 01:51 PM
2

Still, it's probably better off. From how you described the situation it seems she didn't want it.
/r/seduction16/07/19 01:32 PM
1

Yeah I have no problem in just dropping it. It would just be nice to know what/if I did anything wrong so next time when it matters more I don't lose it
/r/seduction16/07/19 12:09 PM
1

Sadly I feel like if she had been someone I was more interested in I'd have a MUCH harder time letting go, but hopefully I can remember this situation next time I'm in it and regardless of how I feel for her try and use it to move on to better things
/r/seduction16/07/19 03:55 AM
1

Yeah, I'd already moved on, luckily I wasn't that into her, so I was more just confused. I'm definitely gonna spend time on someone I'm actually interested in as opposed to her
/r/seduction16/07/19 02:32 AM
1

I mean I guess I would except we literally haven't talked since and she was really dry right at the end there
/r/seduction15/07/19 10:24 PM
1

Exactly, I've only ever done it out of nessecity ie when she lives far/ I won't be seeing her for a while.
/r/seduction15/07/19 09:20 PM
2

Meh, I've asked girls out on social media and it's worked fine, tho I agree in person is much better, and should be done if possible. If you've been showing interest and she isn't dumb then yeah she probably knows. Just tell yourself tomorrow that you HAVE to do it before you leave and that should hopefully give you that push. Lemme know how it goes!
/r/seduction15/07/19 09:05 PM
1

So you didn't do it today?
/r/seduction15/07/19 08:48 PM
5

Next time you two are chatting at work and maybe having a moment with good eye contact etc or she has just laughed, just ask her if she's free on (some day) and just ask if she wants to go out to (some place). Just do it casually and with confidence
/r/seduction15/07/19 08:35 PM
1

Hey I'm in Ottawa
/r/seduction15/07/19 08:25 PM
0

Difference is everyone is on tinder looking for potential partners etc, but with an irl cold approach, some of the people you approach may not be interested in anything and it could be considered uncalled for
/r/seduction13/07/19 02:52 AM
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