TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

cactuscharlie Archive

View 12 posts and 290 comments by cactuscharlie on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Call me sexist but the only "difference" we had is that I didn't fall in love with her co-worker. Call me religious, but marriage is for life.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 01:48 AM
1

This is why I'm not into no fault divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 01:44 AM
1

We have no kids or shared property. I don't know anything about lawyers and fees.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 01:12 AM
2

It's been two years and I've never seen paperwork.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 01:09 AM
20

What does "love" have to do with marriage? Historically, not much. Unfortunately, data if very unforgiving to "feelings'. Marriage is "in sickness or health" "till death do us part". Not "until I want to fuck my coworker because he's hot and I'm horny and he really wants to fuck me". Misogyny? This ridiculous word in conjunction with marriage is laughable at best. Again, basic data. How valid would the claim "I fell in love with a misogynist who hates women" be? If that's even a thing, that agai…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 02:15 AM
2

Dying to hear the set! Do tell!
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 02:16 AM
2

This. But what if she was worth caring about? I hate my wife for dumping me and ruining my entire life, but I also remember why I fell in love with her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 02:14 AM
8

I found out because she wouldn't stop talking about him. She wasn't fucking him yet, but it was pretty clear there was an emotional affair going on. I still trusted her because I believed marriage was for life. I asked to stop talking about him and she did. One night I crawled her phone. He was a co-worker of course. They worked closely on projects. She had a hundred texts from all her co-workers, but none from him. She was deleting them, yet keeping her phone unlocked. I confronted her and she …
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 04:35 PM
3

Yes. I call it involuntarily dreaming. It's not a nightmare, but upon waking, my day is ruined until I snap out of it. I have dreams where I catch her fucking someone and she smiles and laughs at me. I've had dreams where we get back together. These are the worst, and my first experiences with lucid dreaming: the first half is all about happiness at getting back together, and then I start noticing things. Slowly realizing this isn't real, and then I wake myself up and I'm in full depression mode…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 03:18 PM
3

Dude. . Deep cut. I hate to say it but you might be right.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 01:51 AM
8

Massive mixed feelings about this. I do find it interesting that after I moved and made my wife send me all of my stuff, none of the nine years of Christmas items were sent. Special ordiments I bought. CDs ..some of them very expensive...a ton of movies... It's just weird that she has no problem reusing this stuff with the new guy.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 10:39 PM
5

I miss my wife so bad. But I try to remember the basic facts. She just dumped me for entirely selfish reasons. Upgraded in her mind. Thinking about her gives her too much power. She was not a good person really. I'm trying to be a good person, and I think that's all we can really do.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 07:18 PM
13

The fact that she dumped boyfriend #1 who she met at work for boyfriend #2 who also worked there. Then moved to my city with boyfriend #2 and I hired her. Then she dumbed boyfriend #2 to be with me. Then after we married and moved, dumped me for yet another co-worker.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 01:25 AM
10

Nine years of bliss up until a Tuesday. Came home from work on a Wednesday and out of nowhere it was all over. No clues. No signs. No fights or even a talk. I was blindsided because I had started clearly in the beginning that divorce was never an option for me. Silly me for thinking that was some manly loyal statement to make to my future wife.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 12:15 AM
1

Agree! It's just that my self esteem doesn't include women. I'm actually ok with being a fatherless dude with no girls in my life. It's just not worth any effort in my opinion. I was already married. Lost my chance to be a father. Sex and companionship mean basically nothing to me at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 08:38 PM
3

Thanks. I'm 53 and only wanted to be with my girl for the rest of my life. Simply mathematically, the chances of meeting a better girl than her unlikely. Some of us should just accept our fate and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 08:28 PM
11

I loved my wife of nine years. She can't be replaced by sex or anything else. I have no interest in any female other than her, yet she is the one who's selfishness destroyed our marriage. I can't waste anymore time thinking about her. Yet I can't upgrade her either. It's just my fate. I will always love/hate her. No other female can fill her shoes. Pussy, sex, female companionship is no substitute for married life. I'm sick of belly-aching about it. So be it, I say. I was a man. Got married. Los…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 08:19 PM
3

The mistake I made was moving out. As if this wasn't my house. Psychology I just gave her the house. I didn't benefit from thinking "fine I'll just find my own place". I had already found "my own place". It was called our home. I feel like a pussy for moving out just because I was brokenhearted.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 07:26 PM
23

When you go down the path of regret...the things you think are the reasons she pulled away, it's good to have a list of the events that happened at the time. I have saved texts, emails etc.. my own diaries that I sometimes have to look back on to remind myself that this was 100% her choice. I could have done this, or that. I shouldn't have said this or said that etc... these little personal regrets as valid as they may be don't change the basic facts. If one action or conversation can instantly …
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 06:43 PM
3

I know what you mean. Despite hating her guts now, I really loved my wife. And I'm not interested trying to replace her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 11:27 PM
2

Nope.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 08:43 PM
22

At 53? No. I basically came out the other side of divorce totally unattracted to women. And I'm certainly not interested in divorced 50 year old women with kids. Now sex, I miss that. But strangely, not that much as I get used to being on my own. The sheer arrogance of modern women from the internet age is astonishing, but more importantly, a total turn off. Other than sex, I doubt I'll ever have any reason to be involved in a relationship again. My wife's betrayal is something that I don't thin…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 08:30 PM
3

Unreal. It just changes how you look at people. I trust no one now. We lived together for nine years. She wanted to get married and have kids. Never had a fight about anything. Weekly sex and we did creative projects together. We moved to her hometown to have a complete family with parents down the street. Norman Rockwell life basically. She was so happy to show me her new drivers license with her new last name(obviously mine). Eight months later, she dumps me to fuck a coworker. It will never m…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 06:18 PM
1

That is the goal. I try to keep in mind that I've had my heart broken by other women, and I've also broken a few hearts myself. I can't forgive my wife, but I can move on and chalk it up to basically the human experience.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 05:34 PM
2

That's the way forward.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 09:21 PM
3

Fucking someone might not change your feelings about your wife. A lot of these women ruin our good years while protecting their own. We're just playing catch up when we date random girls we aren't in love with. The brief satisfaction of knowing some girl likes you won't help with the betrayal of our wives. But try it, if you don't believe me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 05:16 PM
8

Skim the texts for technical reasons like taxes or stuff that needs to be settled. If there's no technical reason for the conversation, delete it and don't respond.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 04:49 PM
5

My story 100%. It makes no sense. She pursued me. She wanted to move in. She wanted to get married. I thought I won the lottery. Hot smart young girl. Everyone wanted to fuck her. We lived I total bliss for eight years. Inside jokes. No fights. Hot sex every night. Then we moved and she got a high profile job and met a guy and I was out. Overnight. No discussion. She had just legally changed her last name to mine, but six months later, nine years in it was over in an instant and I was the bad gu…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 04:45 PM
7

It simply sucks. I hear you. You are not alone in this space. Keep venting. It will do you good and you will be supported.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 12:47 AM
3

It seems impossible, but it does go away. Hang in there!
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:22 PM
1

I understand. This is why I'm jealous. My story is very different than yours. We never had kids and she dumped me because I'm older and she wanted to start a family. With someone else. No regard to me being a good husband. Or a potential good father. Some of us in this sub deal with the fact we married stuck up cunts. Maybe that's on us. Who knows.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 04:56 PM
1

Disgusting. Look, I was a total slut before marriage. Nothing made me feel more like a real man than my vows. Maybe you're not missing out on anything.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 04:37 PM
1

I would take my wife back in two seconds. But only for true love.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 04:34 PM
1

Right now, the world(aka the internet)tells women it's their time to shine. This is why no-fault divorce needs to be eliminated. My wife rose above me financially. And then played the "you have no ambition" card. I was the goddamn manager who hired her when she was nothing. I never cheated. Never did anything wrong. Her power just went to her head in my opinion. We could barely pay rent when we got together. Now she deals with million dollar celebrities and all of a sudden I became some sort of …
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 04:32 PM
2

Ruining a marriage is 'he said, she said' territory. Maybe I'm the weirdo, but marriage was for life for me. Long months of fights, cock, pussy, super interesting people who want to fuck you. None of it means anything to me. I said "I do".
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 04:23 PM
2

I would rather have my wife go on a rampage and fuck a ton of dudes and get it out of her system only to realize the baseline importance of marriage. I'm not really the jealous type though. May I ask why you are so interested in him again? You mentioned he cheated first.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 04:19 PM
2

Honestly, a little jealous. I loved my wife so much. I would die to hear she wants me back. In my case it would only mean she tried out to boy she cheated on my with. Maybe a few others, and then realized how good she had it with me. Nevertheless "until death do you part"..... I took that seriously. She didn't.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 04:14 PM
8

Watch out for STDs. They exist.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 12:12 AM
9

Even in retrospect, I can't say it was a mistake to give up my job and life and move to my wife's hometown state. But I hated it. Her parents offered us a house. A built-in family and once she got her big girl job, total financial security. It was an offer I couldn't refuse, as they say. I'm still secure with the general idea. A house, family and her being the breadwinner. But where I fucked up was non-stop complaining about how I hated it there. It was like being a hot shot in the culture scene…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 04:16 PM
5

This! I never thought breaking up was an option. So when we were in a year long slump, things got bad, but I assumed this phase would pass. After all, we were fucking married! Peaks and valleys as they say. She kind of blamed me for the valley part. And wouldn't allow a discussion about her part in the low period.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 03:55 PM
4

This. It's something we don't talk about much here.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 03:48 PM
1

I hear you. I don't respond or post much here, but it was invaluable during the hard part. I think all of our experiences with marriage are too unique to just apply some baseline knowledge. But I'll always help out when I can. It really does get better. Time does heal wounds.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 08:45 PM
3

It's a for-profit business. Doesn't mean it won't work. Mechanics are also for-profit, and when you find a good one It's great.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 06:49 PM
14

What difference does it make? She's not your girl anymore. Look, we all hate it. But at the end if the day, She's not your girl anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 01:12 AM
8

I hear you. We need this and fuck what the internet says. This is our space and we need each other. Because we are people. People living our lives in real time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 08:34 PM
3

Not to get gross, but the first time I came in someone other than my wife made me feel stuff I didn't want to feel. I was like "ok get out". I guess I just love my wife, but maybe that's just me. I don't have advice. But I just think it's something we divorced men should talk about.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 08:22 PM
2

Can you jerk off and cum? I only ask because I'm still in love with my ex and cumming is a very private thing for me. Tits and pussy are great, but after nine years of being in love with my wife, it's almost embarrassing to cum with someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 06:31 PM
2

It was her family house. We had an option to buy it. But then he got rid of me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 05:38 PM
1

I know the expression well. But if I take the job, I'll be living and working about fifteen minutes from her. Looking for advice about that. How does that even work?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 10:24 PM
3

Thank you. I moved away but I would have to move to a new planet to achieve whatever goal I had by moving away. I want my job back. Who cares if she's fifteen minutes away. I could live in Europe and still hate her just as much. A man needs a job though.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 10:17 PM
3

Good good. Yes. More stuff like that please.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 06:48 PM
2

If I met a girl at a bar, we have a better future than meeting a girl at a gym. We are who we are.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 06:42 PM
3

Life is kind of boring without a good woman. Sex can't replace what we lost.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 05:58 PM
1

It's not free, that's all I know. But very interesting and I'd like to hear about your experience.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 06:06 PM
3

💯. I don't have a political horse in the race, and I don't give a shit about Bros. But... when the left complains about Tate and Peterson, I ask "where's your guy then?" Honestly, I worry more about young men than myself. Imagine entering manhood as a young adult with the political landscape being what it is. I'll stop there before I piss someone off. We're all brothers in divorce here.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 06:03 PM
5

Haha. Because "Cheating Cunt" would show up sooner in my phone list. I don't want to see that when looking for a number.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 05:52 PM
6

I have her in my phone with her new boyfriend's last name. Since it's obvious that that's what she'll be changing it to.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 04:37 PM
1

I don't want to get political, but there's a reason why the manosphere exists. It didn't just pop into existence out of nowhere. Any vacuum created is going to get filled with something. So if Andrew Tate is on the right, then where is the alternative on the left? And if that does exists, they're certainly doing a bad job marketing it. Now, to be fair, I don't like the MGTOW stuff and red pill either. There's plenty of genuine truth in there, but getting to it can be cringe.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 04:25 PM
2

Got your back. I lost some real gems I can't even afford to replace. You get it. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 12:09 AM
0

There are DVDs and blu rays that are worth hundreds of dollars. It's a thing. You can't just buy them new. And streaming? Hahaha. My wife and I dividing up our collection was painful. You're probably thinking movies mean 10 Things I Hate about You or Titanic. Some of us are talking about rare Russian animation or long out of print Criterion editions. I won't bother with links, but you seriously have no idea what you're talking about. No offense really. Well... some. Streaming hahaha..
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 12:08 AM
1

You have no idea what you're talking about.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 11:56 PM
6

Limbo is a great word to describe where many of us are at. Lots of soul searching. Lots of contradictions. I want to be home with my wife so bad right now. But this is the exact same woman who after nine years says "I want you out of my life because I want to fuck this guy at work". It gets better. It gets worse. Gets better again. Two steps forward, one step back. I think it's normal for us.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 08:23 PM
2

I hear you. I really like sex, but I liked being married more than sex. I guess my bad boy days are over because the idea of some woman in my bed who isn't my wife disgusts me. And believe me, I've done it and my own reaction to getting laid shocked me. I basically wore myself out with wanting to feel human, wanting my wife back and generally liking sex. At this point I could care less. Porn is dumb and call girls don't feel anything, so what's the real point? Ultimately I'd rather fall in love …
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 07:03 PM
7

It's the hardest thing I've ever had to face. I don't know why the 1st is such a hard day for me. It clearly is for you, and my heart goes out to you. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 09:49 PM
8

I was hoping to wake up refreshed and ready for the new year. I can't explain why, but the first of January is even more depressing than Christmas. I don't know how to let the shit go. Hoping that time really does heal wounds.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 07:10 PM
3

Ugh. My time is valuable. I value my brain above your pussy. Sorry ladies. Gotta work pretty hard to end up in bed. Even harder to wake up there in the morning.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 10:07 PM
3

Yeah no thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 08:05 PM
3

You too, brother. We thought we married real women. But we just married..females? I don't know. Her hatred against me is sad. I never did a single thing wrong. And on this Christmas eve, as our wives spend time with the new guy and not their husbands, I'm here for all of you. This is not ok. Yet it is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 10:08 PM
4

This. As if we didn't mean it. I loved her so much. It's just such a shock to the system knowing how easy it is to our beloved wives to just throw it all away overnight.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 10:04 PM
2

I feel this. Even if it's an older lady that you don't plan on ever seeing again, it's nice to have these moments where you experience the old world.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 11:59 PM
13

Ugh. It's totally not worth it. Women can get cock at any time. Even the fat boring ones. Women love the internet and apps. Not you. I wouldn't fuck a girl with someone else's dick at this point. Romance is just a word on Dictionary.com
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 09:25 PM
4

Awesome. Would love to hear some material. So many possible good jokes out there based on the current landscape of dating and sex.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 04:07 AM
4

I made a conscious decision to not bug my friends anymore with my real time divorce. It's OK some days. Not so much on others. Making it might be the goal but "faking it" is hard work. It's exhausting. And then they see your tell, as they say in poker. That's where this group comes in. You don't have to put on a game face. Thank you, men of Divorce_Men.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 03:09 AM
2

When I moved out I swore I would be back for my cat. Unconditional love, like you said. I couldn't make it happen. No pets. No pets... each ad said as I hunted for a sad room to live in. I miss my cat more than my wife. I feel like I abandoned her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 03:04 AM
2

💯 everything you said. I'm dying of loneliness and/or boredom. I can't even do a crossword puzzle because when I nail an obscure film reference I want to tell her. No one else would give a shit. I can't just text friends and tell them about the book I'm reading. They don't care. I'm getting over the jealousy and betrayal. One day at a time on that issue. It's a "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me" thing. If my wife, who I love is fucking someone else, than I'm the dumb one. I…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 06:12 PM
4

Oh God that's terrible. Here for you, brother. Share your story when you're ready.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 01:21 AM
6

I know right? You feel like a failure. It's not like you can just go out and recreate a family within months.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 11:16 PM
3

I'm going to download this video game. Killing hours is the name of the game until the 1st.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 09:43 PM
3

This. They were the family I never had. Went record shopping with dad. Hung out with mom on days off like we were friends. Got to talk about art history, books, philosophy with them. I loved them and they loved me. They did nothing when their daughter dumped me. I get it. But I would have been a very different dad in his situation.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 09:41 PM
2

Set backs and wins. It's a fine line. But I hear you loud and clear. I scroll through Reddit and find some film sub and I'm back in the rabbit hole thinking of nine years of film collecting with my wife. Is the entire history of film hers or mine? Ugh. I was doing it a lot longer than her. But also knowing I won't experience anything like that again...while she plays house with her film knowledge(that in part comes from me)with some new dude makes me want to puke. Triggers... yeah.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 09:37 PM
3

Same, brother. First Christmas without my adopted family. So much to try and not think about(which will invariably show up in dreams). I miss my in-laws more than her at this point. My mom-in-law loved me to death. We were good friends and nine years in, we always tried to nail that perfect gift to express our love. It must be hard for her, buying a gift for the dude who's fucking my wife, and having to 'not' get anything for me. If that make sense.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 08:44 PM
3

Christmas is going to be rough. Like super rough for me. I moved out and live in a weird town alone. Other than a zoom call from the parents, it's going to be hard.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 08:35 PM
6

I love weird dreams. Wake up saying "what the fuck was that about?". But post divorce, they have been weird. The objects, aka my possessions were not real items. I distinctly remember wiping dust off of items. Items that don't exist. It was so weird. In dream logic, this little ceramic frog was something I've had my whole life. But somehow, I knew this frog wasn't real. And when I saw her weird hair(what the fuck does that mean?)I knew I was dreaming. In the dream, we were two seconds away from …
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 08:20 PM
18

Welcome to the jungle. It sucks. I'm sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 03:47 AM
10

When I was new, I hated the "focus on yourself" stuff. But it's all true. I don't know that there's a way to get over our past. Our love for our wives. But it simply has to be done. And time is the key. Doesn't matter if it's six months or three years.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 02:51 AM
2

Thumb drive. It makes sense. I'm ll but hurt about my marriage but when I find photo of me and an old girlfriend from 30 years ago, I'm glad I have it. 20 years from now I might go "oh yeah, my ex wife! What a trip looking at these".
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 01:08 AM
1

How long was your relationship before marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 03:20 AM
1

It's been six months. I gave up after four. I tried everything. Met an unpentratable wall. Nine years down the drain because she met some dude at work. We never had a fight. I did nothing wrong ever. Just came home from work one day whistling Dixie and it was over.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 03:18 AM
1

It's been six months for me. Sitting alone in my sad room, I still love my wife and will never love another. Meanwhile some dude is sleeping next to her in the bed I bought for us. It will take time to accept everything. I still wonder if there was something I missed. Something I could have said or done to save my marriage. Interesting to hear the female version of betrayal. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 02:57 AM
1

Welcome to most of our worlds. And I'm sorry this is happening to you. None of it will never make sense.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 02:26 AM
1

My wife and I were the same. I miss it. If I had to do something I didn't want to do, but knew I had to, I would say to her "Susan, I don't like Leopards". Which of course if from Bringing Up Baby. Nine years of communicating through film references. I've posted before that I can never replace her. People obviously don't get it. Thanks for understanding. As a side note, I worked at Movie Madness in Portland Oregon for nine years. It's a video store, but Mike Clark who opened it is also a collect…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 12:42 AM
7

We're all looking for that Good Will Hunting therapist, or maybe Monk's therapist. It's not going to happen. That's in the movies and TV. Nevertheless, these fictional therapist are both males. We're just not the same, men and women. Get a male therapist. And for the record, your city probably has a crisis center that's free. Counciling isn't therapy, but it's there. I use it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 03:49 AM
2

To quote Mr. Horse from Ren and Stimpy, "No sir. I didn't like it".
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 08:39 PM
1

I apologize. To be fair, there was no technical reason, logistically or otherwise to not include my desk and chair. I got boxes of landfill. Total junk, and other "fuck you" stuff. 17 coffee mugs we collected over nine years? I'm saying it was on purpose. Just a mean thing for her to do. She has money, so it's not about that. But I do see your point. Some men lost everything. And to that point, I can see how my post was unhelpful. I'm not the best as far as typing online. Sometimes it's just out…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 08:04 PM
1

Fair enough. And I'm sorry about your situation. I know my dumb story is a first world problem and petty. My humor doesn't translate to text very well. In my defense, I paid so much money to clean out the house. Junk removal, paint etc. I paid for the move to the new house. I paid to paint the new house, buy new stuff for the house etc.. I got a job first, and paid rent three times before she got her job( where she met the AP). I was dumped a year later. So really, I don't give a shit about your…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 06:44 PM
1

I'm so glad someone got it. It's sort of a riff off the Roy Roger's Wagon Wheel coffee table scene in When Harry Met Sally.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 06:31 PM
6

Happy for you and jealous. Don't fuck up.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 06:11 PM
2

I hear you. I'm so glad therapy helps a lot of people. And meetings with other divorced men. But maybe I'm an outlier, but I get nothing out of it. Well, I shouldn't say that. I like the points we all relate on. I just think some of us have very unique cases that don't transfer over to a general discussion. And finding that Good Will Hunting therapist is just not realistic. That's why I like this sub so much. If you're new, or even old to divorce, this sub is important.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 10:12 PM
1

I haven't done it yet, but I'm planning on putting all photos and video, sexy or not on a thumb drive. I burned several pictures. I had framed wedding pictures which I just threw in the trash. Time heals all wounds as they say. It hurts looking at her sexy body and thinking some other dude is tapping that. But as time moves on, I can see one day saying to myself "Damn, that was my wife. Good job, dude".
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 07:29 PM
6

Dude that "rent free" line really spoke to me. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 06:31 PM
1

My fantasy is to fly back there, use my key to get in, destroy the desk and leave. Not going to do that obviously. But it would make me happy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 06:29 PM
1

Ouch.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 06:27 PM
1

Thank you. In addition to the truth of my post, I was hoping to add a bit of levity to the thread. I felt like a desk and chair could be some Nora Ephron or Woody Allen plot point. Complete with side characters saying "why do you care about a desk?" Etc..
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 06:23 PM
1

God I hate that. I lost my cat, so I hear you. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 06:19 PM
2

😄 good lord women are weird.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 06:12 PM
-1

All true. But when I buy a new desk, I sort of have to admit she won. I already own a desk. So she's going to be laughing at me in her brain as I take home this new desk(that I don't want because I want MY desk). It's not rocket science. I was just pointing out how evil women can be.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 04:43 AM
1

It was a very unusual desk. You can't just buy a new one. But that's my point. She knew this. My post isn't about desks. It's about the cruelty of ex wives. How they know just how to turn the knife once they've dug it into you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 04:38 AM
0

Ego. Ok. I just miss my desk. It was a very unique desk. And that was my point. She didn't send it, because she knew how unique it was. Doesn't matter. I thought maybe more men would relate. She did send me a bunch of landfill. Broken junk and stupid shit we stored in a closet for nine years. She's not dumb. I got 15 coffee mugs and trash from the closet, but not my desk.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:16 AM
1

It's the sentimental value that you can't put a price on. But thank you. Yeah we can buy a new desk and chair. That's not the point of my post. I want MY desk. Not a desk.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:56 AM
2

Indeed. My wife who cheated on me and dumped me can probably still come up with reasons why I'm the bad guy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:53 AM
1

This presumes I was kicked out. And it's also a very mean thing to say. Before engaging in battle with me about manhood, I will ask you to consider what group you are in. We are all hurting here. We have lost our wives and in some cases our homes and lives. But if you want to challenge me on some "man" level, than I accept.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:49 AM
-1

Wow. Ok. That really hurts. Complaining? I guess. I can't just go out and buy the same desk. I was looking to commiserate with other men about stuff we've lost in divorce. I've never experienced this amount of negative feedback in this sub. I would usually say go fuck yourself, but instead I will say I apologize. I have no interest in harming anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:28 AM
4

That's not a nice thing to say. I want my desk! It was rare and unusual.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 01:52 AM
-3

No. For what purpose? Oh? I forgot about your desk and chair? I'll send them right off to you, honey.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 01:47 AM
11

I think our wives are lying when they said "if you had just done X than we would not be divorcing". I think it's just a mean thing to say, even if they believe it at the time. If you do the math, it never adds up. I haven't told my full story, but some of it has to do with babies. We never had kids. Basically I asked "would yu be divorcing me now if we had a kid?". She said "No, I would never do that" clearly meaning for the sake of the kid. And that's the math. She wanted a divorce, but wouldn'…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 12:50 AM
7

I feel this. I can't even do social media yet for fear of seeing my wife. I don't give a shit about my cheating wife. But I miss my cat more than anything. Pets do nothing wrong. I have 20 or 30 photos of my cat by the front door waiting for me to come home. It breaks my heart that one day I never did come home.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 12:28 AM
5

It's rough and so sad. I'm sorry your dealing with it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 07:05 PM
9

Ross: Wow you sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian. Susan: Yeah.. you have to take a test. Otherwise they don't let you do it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 07:01 PM
5

I get the sentiment.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 08:51 PM
1

I hope her parents feel stupid buying presents for this adulterer who's fucking their daughter while her husband spends Christmas alone in my sad room. 😄
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 08:35 PM
1

Nope. She just cut me off one day and the next four months she just wore me out until I left. We don't communicate. I have no idea how she felt coming home to me being gone. Honestly I'm more concerned about how my cat felt. My poor cat loved me and I abandoned her. She dumped me out of the blue. We never even had a fight.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 12:41 AM
13

I hear you. I was so proud to be an honorable husband despite my past. Now, I find the idea of having sex with a woman who isn't my wife, repulsive.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 02:10 AM
6

I hear you. You're in the phase where you you wonder "did I ruin this?". You didn't. At least on paper. I don't know what you did or didn't do. I just know I took my vows seriously and she obviously didn't. In my case I did nothing wrong. I don't know your case. But I know it sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 01:29 AM
30

Gold. Patrick, my replacement, will be spending this Christmas with the Reynolds family. New dude. After my nine years. I hope it hurts the members of her family who loved me in some way. I can never "forgive" my beloved wife. I will hate her for the rest of my life. Forgetting her is the goal. Giving up the family life in general will be much harder.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 12:52 AM
2

This. I loved my wife's parents. The father and mother figures I've never known until I met my wife. I actually miss them more than her. They are going to die at some point. We all are. My point being I won't be there. I can't console family members or friends. This dipshit Patrick is going to be there. Not me. How dumb is that?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 12:36 AM
1

Genius post. I am slowly...really slowly beginning to realize that point.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 12:27 AM
2

Same. Sick of hating her. Because it means I miss her. I complained to my therapist last night that "I can't get away from her". I was simply at a restaurant having food and doing a crossword puzzle. One of the clues...doesn't matter... it was an old film reference, but it brought me right back to our life. She was pretty goddamn smart, and used to love how much I know about film. I just can't create that again. I miss her, but I also hate her and I long for the day when I don't care.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 07:02 PM
1

Damn. Deep cuts. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 06:51 PM
5

Not my experience at all, but valid. My wife was a goddess. The problem is that she knew it. She knows I will never meet her superior. A woman smarter than her. Hotter than her. I guess after nine years, I never really knew her..
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 12:57 AM
2

Thank you, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 12:52 AM
0

Her ancestors. Not mine. Women are indeed men now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 12:51 AM
3

Valid. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 12:45 AM
3

Trying. I'm exploring therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 07:16 PM
3

This. I thought I was a big tough secure man because I wasn't jealous of men constantly hitting on my wife. She loved the attention. Then one night I crawled her phone.... You're either a good person or not.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 05:52 PM
3

I don't think it's a trend. But the "pssst, hey ladies you can live your best life" is.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 03:25 AM
10

This is what I don't understand about marriage. Who gives a shit what you want? You're married.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 02:48 AM
4

Escapism doesn't mean anything if you're not escaping something..
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 01:46 AM
1

You know that funny meme "Birds aren't Real"? My meme isn't funny. It's "Women aren't Real". This is an over share, but I was kind of a perv before settling down. I even tried to get my wife(then girlfriend)into it. It didn't happen and I gave up, probably for the best. Fast forward eight years and my wife is dumping me for a married guy. Now, her job is to eliminate the wife, but I know she's fucked them both. So her first bisexual experience was with her AP and his wife. Not her loving husband…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 11:36 PM
4

The goal wasn't to jam on a cool guitar and play video games. No reason to get married if that was the case. There's no word for a "woman cave" unless it were to mean all of Reality. I'm not a woman hater, but men and women are just not the same.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 11:21 PM
7

Rough. My wife aged me out. I can never have kids at 52. I can never really "do what I want" because what I want is to be a husband and a father. Being single at 52 is just awful to me. I don't want sex or a girlfriend. And I don't even want the freedom to do what I want. I miss the structure of being married. Having two hours to "do what you want" before the wife gets home worked for me. Now that I have total freedom, it means nothing to me. Sorry, I'm just me and this might not resenate with m…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 08:17 PM
4

I should be happy with my new place. But I'm not. I miss my house and my wife. And my cat. I don't want to be here. I just have to be. Three months in and it's not clicking. Sorry to be a downer. Sitting in this strange place with all my possessions which are all tainted with her presence, I just feel like she's laughing at me. I wish I could hate her more and be proud I found this place, it's great. I just never wanted this life and I really miss my home and my old married life.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 06:27 PM
5

Hahaha spot on. I'm remembering now how bad her cooking was. I used to joke to my coworkers it was like eating prison food.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:34 PM
15

I guess in my case it would be "what do you want for dinner?". I really hated this question. She is a vegetarian and I am not. So nine years of eating bland fake food.. Yeah I don't miss that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 04:12 AM
1

I'm planning on putting them on a thumb drive and putting that in a box of junk I have. Need this stuff off of my computer, but yeah it's really hard to deal with.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 05:36 PM
10

I hear you. There's also a lot of good advice and some caring people, so you take the bad with the good.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 05:40 PM
-1

?
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 06:31 PM
1

I feel this. Loneliness is bad, but I can't find a use for a woman beyond sex at this point. And the time/effort is not really working out. I've felt rejected by a few women I've hit up for sex(on sex sites where they're literally there for sex), but this feeling fades as I slowly come to value my time and attention. My wife was sort of a genius, and also hot, so I would be hard pressed to fall in love again. That being said, I did try to convince my ex(from before my marriage)to get back togeth…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 07:55 PM
1

Mmm. What is a non-esential? My cunt wife didn't send my desk and chair. So I definitely have to buy a new desk and chair. Stuff like dishes.. yeah essential.. in general I'm paranoid about buying anything that was just in the house. For instance I need tape, a sharpie, nails..fuck..a hammer... I don't know where the line is.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 12:53 AM
3

Our story is not the same at all, but it was the part where you said she was hot, yet turned down modeling in favor of academia. I just wanted to share some pain. I don't know if there was ever a chance of fixing things. I tried and tried.My wife was a goddamnn genius and I know taste is subjective, but she was very hot to me(and every man with a pulse as it was a daily thing with her. My point is I can't replace her and I really can't love anyone else. You obviously love your ex. I wish there w…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 11:30 PM
7

That's interesting. Be careful out there. Some of us got totally blindsided by our wives. Divorce rates are abysmal. I'm not saying don't get married. I'm just saying use the info you find on this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 03:47 AM
2

I got all my records. Even a few of hers that I didn't mean to take.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:46 AM
6

Yup. My point is my wife sent me nine years of landfill while deliberately not sending things like my desk and chair. I'm throwing away anything that remotely reminds me of her. Thanks, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:43 AM
15

Solid gold. I hate my wife's guts. I have no idea if she extracted ten years worth of data from my computer or not. I know for a fact regarding "things" that she was like "I bought this for us, therefore it's mine now" and I'm like uhhh no you did not. Women are just evil. When I moved with my wife to a new town, I took time to let people from my past know "hey do want that dresser back? I'm moving etc" I actually got an ex girlfriends high school yearbook back to her after thirteen years. Hones…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:40 AM
5

Fucking awesome reply. Thank you. I wear my wedding ring on my right hand so I can remember her betrayal. But I'm going to chuck it out on the road soon. Just got to find the right road! I don't want to drive by it hahha. I don't have kids either. But that's really another thing she robbed from me. We had an age gap..blah blah.. Digital stuff is something I have yet to deal with. I'm planning on picking up a thumb drive and dumping the complete Zoey archives on it. Delete all files(thousands of …
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:28 AM
2

Fuck. Why is this even real? Who are these creatures we once called women? My story. This story. ALL OUR GODDAMN STORIES! Sorry to rant on your thread. And damn, I'm sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 01:54 AM
6

Right. We had three bookshelves full of our books. All three were mine. I only got one back and it was the shitty one(the kind that barely fits books). I'm not going to talk to her and say "Hey bitch. Where's my two good bookshelves?". I think it's best to dump everything at this point. I can buy new bookshelves. But the shitty one will now forever remind me of her. This might not even be the case if I had gotten all my shelves back. But her "fuck you" message is clear. Yeah. I don't want it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 01:33 AM
14

This. Even trinkets I had before I met her seem 'infected' by her presence. Thank you. I think I want to dump it all. I can't spend any more time thinking of her and my old life.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 01:25 AM
2

So what's your story?
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 10:10 PM
2

Wrong sub.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 01:35 AM
2

Goggins, Rogan, MGTOW stuff doesn't speak to all of us. No offense. All information is good. I just don't want their lives or success and I definitely don't want those types of women. Again, I don't want to promote anything negative here in this group. It's just that 7 Eleven and pizza delivery people get divorced too. Not all of us own homes and businesses.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 12:08 AM
1

Totally! I don't know how to do any of that stuff but such is life. Right now it's mostly a foreign language. I lost all my games by closing out my ex-wifes account. I didn't know what I was doing. Whatever. I lost all my games and now only have Spider-Man. Ha! I'll just get the ones I miss back. Divorce is all about losing money so par for the course. Thanks, lady.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 09:05 PM
3

I love that Tendr isn't even mentioned so far. What a dumb wold we live in now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 08:20 PM
1

Thank you. Plenty of people could tell me what a loser I am for giving up the creative life to just be a husband while wifey became the breadwinner. It still works for me on paper. I like to go to bed at 9 or 10. I don't want to be out closing down some event at 2:30 in the morning. I met plenty of famous people back in the day. Cool. Elliott Smith was my customer back then. Cool. Yay. I guess. My wife is now making hotel arrangements for Martin Scorsese. Cool. I'm applying for a job at a grocer…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 08:09 PM
5

I'm 52 and also live in a small town with almost no friends. It's true about the line where you over-burden your friends. They didn't sign up to our marriages so I try and give them space away from my never-ending sadness. I'm the last guy who would play video games. And I've never played online with other random strangers. It seems like a younger person thing to do. That being said, I love how you can kill hours with gaming. It's really helped. I'm a musician and a producer, but I look at my ge…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 06:26 PM
5

Nine years now with my ex-family. First holidays without them.. Uncles and aunts and kids dealing with some new guy who is my replacement. I will be alone, but I hope it hurts the people who loved me a little bit. Who's this new guy? What happened to your husband? She will lie to them about our divorce and win. And me by myself will know the only one who knows the truth. I have to suck it up buttercup this holiday season, because the only alternative is sending emails explaining that my wife dum…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 02:10 AM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 01:57 AM
1

It's not a big deal. I'm not here to promote my past. Let's just say we both worked In film. I did audio/video. I was a DJ and was on a fairly popular podcast. This has nothing to do with major stuff at this point. I was kind of a hot shot when I met her. She was just a video store employee when I met her. Nevertheless, over nine years I kind of retired and now she's a big shot in the film industry. I'm not jealous. Just saying I was a good husband and a good cat dad. I had a good job in the rec…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 01:41 AM
5

Thanks, brother. This is what this group is for. Being a good husband was more rewarding than being some rock star. I think that's the rub for me. Having to go back to producing content for the Internet rather than the simple "Hey honey. Going to the store. Do we need anything?" Knowing I'm coming home to my 'loving wife' and my cat.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 07:43 PM
7

It seems like such a pussy move to consider suicide because some girl left you. But it's practically what I think about 50% of the day. Going on six months. My friends are worn out on the issue and I'm basically accepting that therapy is the only way out. I think we need to hear more therapy success stories here. Going to the gym and dressing better are ridiculous things to say to men in this situation. I don't want to get laid. I want to be home with my wife. That's never going to happen for me…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 07:35 PM
2

There are no words.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 05:51 PM
14

She's going to want kids. And in my case will dump you to have them.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 01:46 AM
10

I often question if I had said or done something different, would I be here now? She rejected couples therapy. That was my first play. She rejected talking. I don't know. I thought about just saying "your problems are yours. We're married and there's really nothing much beyond that". But that's not how life works.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 04:42 AM
5

As alone as it gets. Moved to a city where I know at the best two people. Both loner bachelors. Family lives in another city. This is going to be hard. My in-laws were the best family ever and I had nine years of family holiday events. Took me a year or two to get into it as I was not really used to a functional family. But her parents loved me and soon I found my way in to the holiday spirit. This is the first in nine years I wont see Johnny or Karen. Or their kid Reilly and his girl Viv. My in…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 02:55 AM
2

Fuck that's hard. I don't think I'll be on social media for at least three years. I'm six months in and haven't felt like dividing up friends online yet. I can't go there yet.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 02:40 AM
5

It is. But by default. Not by design. That's why I'm butt hurt. My design was marring my wife and moving to a new town where her parents lived and start a family and live happily ever after. I got screwed. So be it. It is what it is, but I miss her and my cat and my job.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 09:17 PM
3

I relate 100%. I'm only six months in, and there is no day where I don't miss her. It's getting tiresome. Knowing she spends probably 3 seconds a month thinking of my and our nine year relationship where as if I can find 3 seconds a day not thinking about her, I'm grateful. I don't know how to move on. She can't be replaced, but this just isn't life suffering every day. We all need to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 06:23 PM
8

I hear you loud and clear. It just sucks and I don't know if we'll every know why a woman can suddenly just change into a completely different person. A lot of us were so proud to live an honorable life in service of the marriage. I myself have made mistakes in the past. Done some grey area things I'm not proud of. But when I got married, I was able to prove to myself and the world I am a good man. To come home one night and find out it was my wife who was not honorable and not really a good per…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 06:14 PM
3

Dudes often don't get it. The whole "Go to the gym, dress better" thing being my point. Some of us are not interested in the type of women this comment suggests.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 07:14 PM
2

I can relate. I hate her guts so bad, but also don't see a point in living if I can't be with her. I try and reconcile the conflict. She is a genius. But also a horrible selfish shrew. Intellectually and physically, she just smokes all other women and six months in, I have zero interest in any other female. And I watch my life slip through my fingers. A race to the bottom. I keep waiting to wake up and get over it. We just need to hang on. Like they say here, living well is the best revenge. I h…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 07:03 PM
2

What?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 12:37 AM
1

It's the part where my wife found my interest in human history attractive. And then one day she didn't. One minute I was "smart". The next was "you waste your time dealing with politics". We live in an age where women as a commodity are more important than men. Just on a DEI level. To me, this should be offensive to all women. Or at the very least a discussion. My wife basically agreed with my "politics" but now uses them as a talking point for why she dumped me. Ugh.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 08:39 PM
1

My ring has no value financially, really. But I wont get rid of it. I want to remember her betrayal forever until it's funny. Comedy is tragedy + time.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 08:09 PM
1

I wear mine on the right hand to never forget her betrayal.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 08:01 PM
1

Same. Child of divorce. I made it clear I would never get divorced before we got married. There was no reason to think we would. Eight years of bliss. I left finally after "a death by a thousand paper cuts". She just wore me out after out of nowhere she wanted a divorce. There was no reasoning with her. A reoccurring theme you will see here. One of the last things she said to me was something like "There is no combination of words you can string together that will change my mind".
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 07:21 PM
14

This. One bizarre thing she said at the end was "you don't respect my parents". This statement comes from the Twilight Zone. I hung out with her dad like we were buddies. Went record shopping together. Loaning each other records. Mom and I would text all day. Have hours long conversations about art history. I never experienced family until I married into this one. I miss her Mom more than I miss her. The total disrespect of saying I don't appreciate her parents.. Jesus. Give me a fucking break. …
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 09:51 PM
14

So true. Is the smile in my hundreds of photos fake? She was visually happy as a clam. Laughing. Having good times. Even some dirty pics. Then all of a sudden "I don't love you anymore". Is time a different concept for females?
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 09:42 PM
2

No. I don't expect to for years. Maybe some sex, but I doubt I will ever meet anyone like her again.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 09:32 PM
2

You're dealing with a massive contradiction. This woman who you love and married you now says the opposite. It makes no sense and never will. That is the bitter pill that we have to swallow. And the sooner the better. Men are logical. Women are not. At least in my opinion. Maybe women are logical and men are not? Who knows. What I do know is that I will never fully understand why my wife dumped me. I seek understanding, but it will never come. Together nine years. Married a year and a half. I re…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 07:55 PM
2

Sure!
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:23 PM
2

Glad to meet you. I feel like if I take out my gear which is also in boxes, than I'm submitting and she wins. Like I'm supposed to have fun with my effects pedals and gear while she just fucks some new guy in my old house. It's going to be a year or so before I can emotionally connect with my studio products. It's a weird thing that I think only musicians can relate to.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 08:10 PM
2

I know exactly what you mean. I'm a musician and can't bring myself to even play music. I do the things. Force myself to live in a lonely world. And I wait. I wait for some day that I can pick up a guitar and play it like I used to. She was my best friend and my life. I have no real interest in other women and my friends just aren't as interesting as she was. We just have to keep on keeping on, I suspect. And the holidays are upon us, which will be hard. Let's all rely on us this holiday season.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 05:57 PM
2

Genius level advice. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 05:48 PM
2

I hear you. I miss her so much. Everything I see or experience makes me want to talk to her because she would get it. The boredom of having all this information in my head that friends and family wouldn't get, but she would is really hard. I'm reading a book right now that she would love. My friends don't really read. And my elderly parents certainly aren't going to want to hear my thoughts as the book is quite sexual. I've moved past the jealousy and the divorce in general. But I miss my best f…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 05:42 PM
1

I am looking for some volunteer work as well. Being in pain makes me want to help others.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 05:35 PM
2

I hear you. My wife was unlike any other person I've met. I can't just do my hobbies because they were our hobbies. Hell, I can't even find men as well read and smart as my wife. I might see a woman who is cute, but she can't hold a candle to my wife. I wait and wait to snap out of it. And yes, it gets better as time moves on. I just think some of us loved our wife in ways that other divorced men just wont understand.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 05:31 PM
1

I don't want to sound too religious because I'm really not. But my wife and I got married. The fuck do I care if she's happy or not? Like I'm super happy having no sex or even have a friend in my wife. She just checked out one day. I made a commitment and I stand by it. I didn't do a single thing to create unhappiness in our house. She did. I finally moved out after "a death by a thousand paper cuts".
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 06:18 PM
11

I could spend all day everyday trying to understand my wife if nine years dumping me out of the blue. It's 2023. If it were 1923, 1823 etc.. This would not be a conversation. That's all I know to be true.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 07:39 PM
8

Meh. You guys understand that retail employees get married too, right? Not all of us are homeowners with children.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 08:47 PM
3

I'm on five numbers. No dates. No sex. One talked to me on the phone for hours multiple times then ghosted. I ran into her months later and she said "what was your name again?". This after weeks of conversation. I made out with another girl. Only to see her with her boyfriend the next time I ran into her. Two others I met at two separate bars gave me their numbers, but no response. I have another story that you would not believe but I will save that until I've processed the event. Basically, my …
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 06:05 PM
1

This will be my first Christmas without my wife and her family in nine years. It's going to be horrible. I was very close with them and we would always try and out do each other with thoughtful gifts.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 05:30 PM
20

DM me if you can. Not the same story, but I came home one night happy as a clam and out of nowhere, my life was over. We never even had a single fight over anything. I too changed my life to her satisfaction. Ok at that time it was a 50/50 thing. Gave up my job, moved etc... She burned me to the ground in one night. Nine years gone in an instant. So yeah, 52. No plans. Living like a teenager. No friends. Nothing. DM me if you can.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 12:14 AM
1

Like legal proof changes anything. Is she female? Than she's cheating in one way or another.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 11:05 PM
4

I hope we know one day how it happens. I miss my wife terribly. Eight years of bliss. One year married and out of nowhere it was over. There's no way to understand. But like others here have said, at least you don't share property or have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 09:10 PM
1

"How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice?" - Die Hard II
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 06:33 PM
1

Her parents loved me to death. I hung out with them like regular friends. I was expecting the opposite. I would have thought they would have pushed back. As far as kids and marriage you are right. It was hinted at enough. Sort of implied at times. We talked about free babysitting with the parents so close etc.. At the end of the day she would have cheated anyway as she's totally boy crazy and I would be a divorced dad.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 05:04 PM
4

No and no. I moved out of state. I didn't do anything right, I'm not saying I did. So we lived eight years in my duplex(I lived there for 15 years including her eight)then we moved to her home state. I gave up my job and friends and my life. But to be fair, so did she. We moved there for a house owned by her parents. We were being priced out of our old neighborhood. Being married, I trusted handing over the fate of our future to her. I voted for it too. Our city was plagued by gentrification and…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 11:56 PM
4

I hear that. A reoccurring theme here is that her friends and family will take her side. Not yours. And your male and female friends will have empathy, but no real power inside the relationship dispute. I'm mad at her parents. In my case there's no side to take because there was no argument. That being said, I wish it was 1923 instead of 2023. Divorce is just normal now. This is not the case historically. There's no technical reason why I find myself dumped by my wife. "I love you, but I'm not i…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 09:18 PM
13

Good Lord, I really didn't want to tell my story. Together with my wife for nine years. We have an 18 year age gap, and for the record, she hit on me. She wanted a relationship and to move in. She wanted to get married... Could have had the 'kids' conversation at any point over nine years. Also pro tip: being on birth control the whole time is not how to have a baby. She dumped me one night out of the blue because "I want a baby and you're too old". As if our age gap had changed over nine years.…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 07:04 PM
14

It's almost funny right? Like you think cheating is the worst thing ever(correct, it is). But our wives take it to the next level.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 01:40 AM
1

I've thought a lot about this question and the answer is no. She is 18 years younger than me. Totally hot. Hates social media. Listens to Zappa and watches Russian film. Basically like the Aubrey Plaza character from Parks and Recreation. Reads books constantly. Knows human history inside and out. Knows art history, and is immune to social trends. Works for the film industry. Dresses amazing and does anything you can remotely think of in bed and then some.. So no. I can't replace her. Except for…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 12:58 AM
19

My STBXW is a functioning alcoholic. I was distancing myself from alcohol in general at this point. I thought her falling asleep in the other room was because she wanted to drink and I didn't. Obviously this is the part where my wife is texting her new man while I'm in the next room thinking everything is fine. Ultimately just saying I get the whole 'wife who drinks too much' thing.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 04:02 AM
1

Yes. She looks like a porn star or Hollywood starlet and is also very smart. And yes I'm still in love with her. Everyone is.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 02:00 AM
6

It's your brain, not your dick. Honesty it tells me you're an honorable man. You want your wife. Not some random girl you are not in love with. I have been divorced for six months at this point. I have to force myself to see women as attractive. I barely know how to do that because I'm only into my wife. I mean.. Ex wife. And that's the rub. For me it's not my dick. It's the fact that I still love my wife. I fucked someone after I got dumped and three minutes later I was like "get out of my bed.…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 01:31 AM
0

What?
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 09:23 PM
6

I was on the fence about that to. Ultimately did nothing. I never had any proof of a physical affair, the emotional affair was pretty obvious. I know her AP and his wife were "looking for a third" and I'm sure she's fucked both of them at this point. But I know my wife and her goal is to get pregnant and get married again, so she's going to have to get rid of the wife at some point. I felt like telling the wife "watch your husband around her" would would have came off as me just being butthurt. …
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 07:35 PM
21

What is "racist"? And how did you only "discover" this now after saying "I do"? Just curious.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 10:02 PM
1

Fair retort. And believe me, I hope you are right. But don't pretend my story is average. I said I won the lottery. Most people don't win the lottery twice. My wife was an intellectual genius. She used to say the same about me for what it's worth. I might meet some book smart, film smart philosophical equal down the road. Great. But is she single with no kids? Attractive to me? Stimulating on some worldview level? At 52 I have a very small window to close if I want to meet a female that can outs…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 08:47 PM
1

You're not alone. I feel like there are lurkers on this sub who don't want to chime in due to sex stuff or lifestyles that may not fit the common theme here. I won the lottery when I met my wife. I wont ever find anyone like her again. I'm too old anyway at this point. Not interested in fat divorced women with children. And frankly, not that interested in younger sluts either. I need the brain! I'm not the jealous type. But yeah, sitting alone in my boring room with nothing to do knowing my wife…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 07:49 PM
8

I asked her straight up after she out of the blue dumped me(to have babies with someone else)would you be divorcing me right now if we had a kid? She said "No. I want my child to have a mother and a father". So right there, she revealed how phony and pretentious women can be. We're talking about the creation of a human being and she can't even remove her selfishness from the equation.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 07:19 PM
12

Sorry to hear this. But your post helped me for what it's worth. My nine year relationship ended over having kids. I find myself thinking if I had only impregnated her earlier I wouldn't be divorced now. It's such a ridiculous idea. I just need to be reminded of it now and then. Again, I'm sorry this happened to you but thank you for the post.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 06:45 PM
3

I'm still in love with my wife. No doubt she had a dick inside her as I was hitting the freeway out of town. Don't really care beyond jealousy. If you two are still talking and being honest(sounds like it if she admitted to fucking someone)than the lines of communication are still open. I wish the best for you. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 10:00 PM
2

I don't want to see any marriage end. Relationships have peaks and valleys. My wife dumped me during a long dive into a valley and I do question if I tried everything possible to save the marriage. But like you'll read a lot on this thread, she had checked out and monkey branched long before any discussion. I tried everything I could think of to save the marriage. I suggest doing the same so at the very least you can say you tried. That being said, like they say in the military, hope for the bes…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 08:42 PM
7

I have a friend who checks in with me randomly through text. It's just really nice knowing someone is thinking about you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 05:50 PM
5

It sucks. My wife might be a heartless selfish cunt, but she was also a genius. I'll never meet anyone like her again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 11:14 PM
7

I have not. I want to be home with my wife. I know that is not possible, and therefore have moved on with what I have to do(Moved out. New city etc)but I would give anything for this to not be real.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 10:47 PM
3

Don't fuck her on the first date even if she wants to. We all know you do. But just don't. Second date all bets are off.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 10:47 PM
12

I'm still working on it but I'm focused on the idea that she is a phony. I though she was very kind and giving. Remembers everyone's birthday. Makes cookies for them or whatnot. Always sending care packages to friends etc... After dumping me out of the blue with no conversation, I realized her "kindness and caring" was actually selfishness. She needed to come off as the perfect friend. The perfect daughter etc... I always suspected there was something rather robotic about her attention to detail…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 08:35 PM
7

Fake post. Go fuck yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 03:11 AM
2

I smell a rat here.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 02:18 AM
3

Don't post anything about it on social media. In fact drop social media. She and her lawyer are just begging for you to fuck up online. Avoid it like the plague.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 01:46 AM
2

I'm not legally divorced yet. But certainty living in another state while some guy fucks my wife in our house in the bed I bought sure does mean I'm no longer in a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 10:48 PM
6

You seem like a stand up guy. Married young. This tells me you were either 100% serious about a life long marriage or you didn't know what you were doing(no offense). Either way, it hurts to be betrayed by the one you love. It can really jade you. Just be glad you have years left and youth. I got dumped at 52 and beyond the heartbreak, I think a lot of us want our years back.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 09:19 PM
5

Whatever you do, don't post anything on social media about it. You want a clean paper trail.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 06:45 PM
10

Most likely zero chance. Hang around in this sub long enough and you'll see most of our wives planned this all out in their heads long before mentioning it. Sorry, friend. It hurts. I know.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 06:28 PM
1

Not historically, that's for sure. Clearly true now. They need to change the "until death do us part" to "until you meet a cute co-worker".
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 10:37 PM
11

I'm not anywhere there yet. I still love my wife. Probably more now than ever. I miss her brain. Pussy is one thing, but the intellect of my wife will be hard to replace. The dude who's fucking my wife right now basically won the lottery. Some dumb hot girl in my bed is not the same thing. That being said, I can say my "perfect wife" isn't capable of actually being in love. Or taking marriage seriously. And I question what being in love really is at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 07:20 PM
4

One of the most disgusting things to me about my divorce is knowing that I will never have a child. I'm 52 and she was my last chance. For a small select group of us men, this is a big deal.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 04:06 AM
1

This!
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 01:44 AM
1

Interesting take. I only want t push back a bit on two points: my wife fell in love with me. As I am. I fail to see how finding a better version of myself would would attract a better version of my wife. I'm certainty not trying to argue here. It's just the typical "go to the gym, dress better, make more money" etc advice means nothing to me. My wife(and other ex's)fell for me due to my brain. It's really not a tier system where women on level one will divorce you, so get to level two where they…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 07:39 PM
3

I can relate 100%. For five seconds you think "OK this was meant to be". And then..reality. I was getting "I love you" texts from the new girl. Then it slowed down. Then days go by. I gave it space. Didn't bug. But when I'd get one or two word replies to paragraph long texts, I knew it was not real. And honestly it's probably for the best.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 06:56 PM
3

Aahh thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 05:40 PM
1

What is AP?
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 04:44 PM
1

If you can replace your wife with a different woman, than do it. My wife replaced me with little effort.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 10:25 PM
1

It sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 08:33 PM
1

She will win unless you own the situation now. I didn't and I lost even thing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 09:41 PM
2

I know right? I get that taste is subjectable, but it just makes me jealous on a level beyond basic love.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 12:31 AM
1

This is just true. Sorry but my ex is hot. Does everything in bed. Thinking of some man banging my wife in the bed I paid for, in the house I used to live in just burns me up.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 07:37 PM
5

We have an age gap(Yes I know)but she was the one who pursued me for a year before we actually became a couple. I never once suggested even fucking let alone a relationship before that. Fast forward six or seven years of living together, she wants to get married. As a child of divorce, I made it perfectly clear that I will never get divorced. That I take marriage very seriously and it's "until death" or nothing etc.. We get married. Then it was kids. I never wanted kids, but pretty sure being on…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 06:42 PM
1

I'm sorry, my brother. We lose more than a wife when divorce happens.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 05:27 PM
2

It's weird right? I seriously would have a very heated conversation with my daughter. There was a time when you might even get disowned by your own family for getting a divorce. Now It's like that's sad, anyway what's for lunch?
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 05:25 PM
14

I hear you. I lost my in-laws and I was very close with them. They loved me too. I practically begged mom in-law to talk some sense into her daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 08:15 PM
1

I'm sorry this is happening. But how does finding the exact name help? What are you going to do? Got you! You've been having an emotional affair or sexing with Patrick? Then what? Caught her and everything goes back to normal? You can't beat women in this game. They want want they want and can have what they want in 2023. If you can save you marriage, if it's not too late, then have an honest conversation. It didn't work out for me but it might for you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 07:32 PM
3

It's over. She's already planning her new life in her head. She's waiting for you to fuck up in some way. Violence. Money stuff. Whatever. Become bulletproof. My wife left no paper trail of her affair. I couldn't prove it if I tried. Meanwhile she really wanted me to smash things up or cheat or anything that could be used in court. Again, become bulletproof. All my communication with my wife include things like "I still love you" and "please reconsider" rather than you fucking bitch cheating who…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 07:03 PM
3

Don't do it. The goal if humiliating her for revenge is obvious and will simply backfire. Her friends and family won't care. The recording is indeed illegal and it might help with your lawyer but nothing else.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 06:35 PM
1

I'm sorry, brother. It make no sense and I don't think it ever will. You will get random hits of emotion for a while. They can come out of nowhere or you can get triggered by random things. I just read a film thread here on reddit and someone mentioned a movie that my wife and I loved and now I'm right back in it processing the "what the fuck happened?" Thing. It sucks. Thats all I can say.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 05:42 PM
3

For me I wasn't going to live in a small town and run into my wife and her new boyfriend randomly at the store. Certainly not once she gets pregnant, which is her goal. I never want to see her again.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 06:28 PM
2

My wife was my best friend too. No one will ever be able to replace her. Our humor. Inside jokes based on film and music. If you need a buddy to talk to.. Get drew at g mail dot com. The whole "go to a gym dress better" stuff doesn't work for me. I don't want anyone else. I want to be home with my wife. This post just resonated with me. We all got burned by our wives, but for a select few, it's just obvious every other woman will forever be second best.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 03:00 AM
1

Just accept it. It's the only way out. Acceptance. It sucks. She won and you didn't. I focus on acceptance. It brings me enough peace to get though the day.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 12:24 AM
18

One thing that helps is the old Hollywood line "Show me a beautiful girl and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her".
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 11:03 PM
7

It sucks. That's all there is to talk about. Anyone can get laid, but yeah, sorry my wife is super hot and does everything in bed. So yeah I'm jealous that some dude gets to fuck my wife. This bugged the hell out of me at first. It just sucks. But there's nothing to do about that fact. Just accept it. That's the only way out. It's happening or it's going to happen. There is literally nothing you can do about it. It just is what it is. Accept it. You will drive yourself crazy otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 10:57 PM
1

If you loved her than the next girl is just transitional. Not your fault or hers. When I see a girl in my bed who isn't my wife, I am flooded with emotion. I wish you good luck in this phase of divorce. It gets worse before it gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 04:21 AM
5

My wife was the best. Best friend. Amazing lover. I was so in love for nine years. Until out of nowhere she ended it for reasons that I will never understand. It might be some personal defect, but I know in my heart I will never love like that again. Therefore I see no point in pretending. I will never marry again. In fact if I even fell in love I would pack up and move. Love isn't real and I consider it a flaw in my DNA that makes me "think" I'm in love. I've found even dating is not for me. Ev…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 07:51 PM
0

I get the sentiment of the rant. And I agree that it's scary that the idea of broken families is so common it can become an angle in advertising.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 04:25 AM
3

I hear you. It's incredibly hard to learn to either despise or forget about the person you love. Someone responded with indifference being the goal and I tend to agree. Getting there isn't easy. I love her still to this moment, but also hate her guts more every day for what she did. But it's all toxic. Missing her and hating her is just creating a negative feedback loop is solving nothing. For me my divorce is not settled and I need it to be soon because forgetting her entirely is the only way o…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 05:47 PM
2

Like the song says, you can't teach a ho to be a housewife. This will be a romp, but she's not the one in my opinion. And I sympathize. I'm really interested in the girl I'm "seeing" right now. But I'm just some man to her right now. Even if I'm some cool man that is exciting right now. Our sex is off the charts, but a true relationship doesn't require that. We should know this. We didn't marry our wives for pussy or blow jobs.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 08:10 PM
1

Hate is the level above love. I never wanted to be upgraded to that level. I will love her for the rest of my life. She was .. Is the best. I will miss her forever. Read books. It's not some abstract concept. It's as old as time. And that's ok. Some of us really miss our wife.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 04:18 AM
1

The missing context is how long were you two together before getting married.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 07:57 PM
2

I would never give her any fuel. Just thought others could relate to the urge. I know what the "best revenge" is. I don't want revenge. I simply want her to be in the past. Which simply takes time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 07:32 PM
2

I did try journaling. I'd say the results were mixed for me. But a plan to get out of a strangers house is brilliant. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 06:58 PM
1

I have never done it. I want a clean paper trail. I thought we could just vent about those random urges.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 06:10 PM
7

Right? I can't wait to never talk to her again. Or in my case, get back together tonight and never talk about divorce again. I'm still in love. The point though is that my life, the life I lead before I even met her is in a goddamn storage unit. While some other dude is fucking her in my house in the bed I bought for us. I know there's no point in randomly telling her how much I hate her for ruining my life. But I want to.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 03:12 AM
1

Your feelings are valid. She was your life. What is the point of life without her? I get it. I'm there too. I'm six months in and it sucks. Sucks every day. But little by little, and in my case ..really little.... It does get better. Watch out for the idea of trying to love someone else. Or even have casual sex. It can backfire in weird ways. The first time I saw another woman in my bed I felt something between rage and despair. You are not my wife! Get out! But days weeks and months go by. It g…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 02:22 AM
6

I hear you. I love my wife now just as I did for the past nine years. I experienced massive amounts of jealousy, which clearly other posters haven't experienced. I had sex with someone looking for comfort, but it only made me miss my wife more. She's just the best. Does literally anything you can think of in bed. There's a point where you have to just give up. She wore me out. She won, I lost. Hate her guts but I'm not stupid. Acceptance is simply where you need to get to. It's the only way out.…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 09:16 PM
5

Maybe I'm a total fool, but happiness or unhappiness, is an issue into itself. I didn't get married for happiness. When my wife, then girlfriend said she wanted us to get married, I told her as a child of divorce, if we get married I'm not getting divorced. My main reservations about marriage was exactly that. Divorce! She swore up and down she felt the same way. True love and all that fairy tale stuff is not why I said yes to her proposal. Marriage is an institution. A legal contract. It's not …
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 07:32 PM
1

We had a framed Rocky poster above our bed. Nine years. Went to a bar tonight by myself and Rocky was playing on the screen. I lost it. Big time. Cried in a goddamn bar in public. We both worked in film when we met, so film in general is rough for me. But yes, the trigger was strong tonight. And sometimes it makes no sense. I'm casually dating a girl and we watched a movie the other night that I've watched with my wife several times and it as fine. But for whatever reason, Rocky just fucked me t…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 05:04 AM
2

Who dumped who is a good starting point.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 03:08 AM
1

Took me a minute to figure it out as well. I'm not technically legally divorced as I suspect many on this thread aren't.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 09:10 PM
2

Sorry. Can't help you. Never cheated once on my wife of nine years. I took my vows seriously. She didn't. I don't fault you for running to God. You're looking for redemption. Not sure Reddit can help you with that. I can't though. Like I said to you, and my ex, I took my vows seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 08:24 PM
2

There are legal things to consider. Don't think of her. Think of her lawyer. I moved out and left the state. Went back to my hometown because I was butt hurt. Her lawyer can play that as some sort of consent to separating. I have no proof that she cheated. In the court it just looks like I moved out. The law doesn't care about feelings. So just watch your steps. Don't give her lawyer fuel.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 03:32 AM
2

It hurts. Bad. I get it. I was there. My life was based on our solid love. And over night I realized I never even knew her. Just eight months before she dumped me, she finally legally changed her last name to mine. I can't explain it. Or why our wives do this. I read. Study. But I don't think I will ever understand.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 02:28 AM
1

Don't move out. This is always a mistake and can be used as consent to the break up. Lawyer up. Don't do anything weird or anything really. Everything you do is now evidence in a court case. Don't do anything that her lawyers can use.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 12:21 AM
6

I hear you. That moment! She just checks out and it gone. No chance of conversation. In my case we had sex and had some laughs just a week earlier. Then she just started falling asleep on the couch every night. Thought it was weird but we were pretty independent. Then I crawled her phone one night..
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 11:43 PM
5

Yeah, it's vanity in my case. I get it. I thought I won the lottery having a hot young smart wife. Jokes on me as I'm old and living in a dump while she has dudes lined around the block. The only thing that helps is knowing she's basically a phony.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 11:37 PM
1

This type of "bro" response is unhelpful. I don't think this group is some MGTOW Andrew Tate sub.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 11:29 PM
14

Ditto. My wife was hot when we met, honestly. Let herself go and became a drunk. I honestly never cared about her looks as much as her genius mind. But yeah she got all toned up and fit and dumped me. Just a pro tip for anyone reading this. If out of nowhere, your girl becomes super concerned about her looks, well.. It's not for you or your marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 10:29 PM
5

My wife was pretty honest about it. Not that that helped. There's no point where you understand someone else's complete selfishness.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 10:18 PM
5

I relate to this post so much. I was blindsided as well. Tuesday, everything was fine. Wednesday my life was over with one conversation. I'm finding it hard to focus on this new version of my wife. I remember nine years of good times and our bond. In my case she did fall for someone else, but so what? I tried for four months to talk, go to a councillor etc... Just overnight she just became a different person. She built a brick wall around herself and no communication or action could get through.…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 10:07 PM
1

This. I'm actually moving to a small town because I can't afford to try and recreate my old life. If my car dies here I'm fucked. Rather live in a 20 minute city where I barely use my car.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 07:16 PM
2

This rings true to me. When I met my future wife we were just both basic retail employees. Nine years later, she was handed a big girl job(they don't hand out real jobs to men in case you haven't been paying attention). When she got her big girl job, I was out. I was disposable the whole time, in other words. Nine years and she just dumped me over night and upgraded. Maybe love is real for some. I thought it was. But this belief cost me everything.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 11:48 PM
9

You shouldn't do it. But you are going to anyway. That's how I look at it. It's really hard to turn down female attention when you are hurting. But yes. It's highly unlikely that that it will turn out positive. If like me, you still love your wife, this new person and this new relationship is doomed from the start and will only serve to remind you of the love you lost.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 11:18 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter