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cherrypepsilvr Archive

View 4 posts and 378 comments by cherrypepsilvr on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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43

Mate, he's married. He's texting you when his wife's asleep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:52 PM
38

THIS!! Why do people say we should just give men a chance? A chance will only lead to a shit relationship, it won't turn his life around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 01:22 PM
9

It is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT his fault that he had no direction. He was a healthy 22 year old man, he could have gone out and got an education and a social life. The only reason he did this is because he was lazy and entitled, so he took his anger out on other people rather than bettering himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 01:19 PM
9

That's absolutely awful. Sadly it's also why I never call men out - a lot of women on here give advice like 'Make a scene, call them out' but honestly they can get nasty so fast. It's unfair and shit, but I will take feeling crappy over the chance they violently attack me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 10:01 PM
8

Yep. If it helps (it probably doesn't) I tend to think men who yell at women in the street for being fat are actually attracted to those women. They need to feel noticed, they want her attention, they want to know they had control over her feelings. It's a proxy for being attracted to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 09:56 PM
17

I think you're onto something there. I've known a few poly couples, and they've all told me, Xboyfriend is so fun and we have a lot of sexual chemistry, but Yboyfriend is intelligent and I can talk to him about anything. You want to shake them and say "You CAN have a boyfriend who is both of those things!" Most of the poly relationships I've known end when one party meets someone who they want to be with exclusively, then all their speeches about how humans aren't meant to be monogamous dry up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 01:04 PM
20

"Boardgame couples give off even more menacing vibes that poly couples" yes yes yes! There's also a lot of crossover between the two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 12:59 PM
11

The only men I have ever met who were genuinely good to women, were fathers of daughters. And even then. not all of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 01:31 PM
29

A guy negging me because I don't have tattoos. Twice he asked me "But don't you want any?!" No I don't, fuck off. He had grey teeth as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 02:55 AM
11

Not in my experience, I've seen mostly men about 25-35 use them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 07:14 PM
26

🥰😏🥺 Yeah, that's them. Thanks for the tech tip!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:10 PM
74

Yes! Your comment made me think of another idea: emojis are like talking, without talking. So he's trying to convey an idea without using actual words, which a) makes it easy for him to deny that he ever said such a thing if you don't like it, and b) is low effort for him. I can't do emojis because I'm on laptop rn, but the worst offenders in my experience are the face with three little hearts, that smug side smile one, and that one with the big black eyes that some people use to mean sad and so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 11:40 AM
5

I've not heard a woman use it before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 04:49 PM
3

that adorable comment makes me feel weird It's basically a nice way of saying that she's cringe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 04:43 PM
6

Of course they say they love it, it's an ego boost and easy sex. But them saying they love being approached by women does not mean they love or respect that woman. I have literally never asked a man out and had them take me up on it, even though many men have asked me out. They just don't like you once you do, they see it as desperation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 04:38 PM
76

Do these men realize that alcohol is not a personality trait? Honestly, way too much media, all our lives, has portrayed being drunk as cute and relatable. Just about any sitcom dad has "drunk" as a personality, yet it's always presented as cute and funny and something the wife and kids just have to get on with. For generations, the West has had a culture of "lol we all like a drink amirite" to excuse actual alcoholism. Don't even get me started on the way Craft Beer microbrew IPA culture has re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 04:22 PM
2

There's a documentary about this. I really recommend it, it's hilarious https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XB72R8bgi4
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 01:13 PM
3

I'm not usually wHaT aBoUt TeH mEnZ, but I do think porn has had a dreadful impact on them. Men are growing up believing that how big their dick is and how much sex they have is the only important thing in life, and it's ruined them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 01:09 PM
28

Yes! I've always said I was never as lonely as I was in a bad relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 01:04 PM
7

I used to work as a moderator on a dating site, and I kid you not, about 50% of the men there were old (literally 60+), married and trying to date women in their 20s. There were men in their 80s complaining to 30 year old women that they didn't feel she was doing enough of the chasing. Absolutely insane. And yes, a load of them were married and wanted a bit on the side because their wife was ailing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 01:03 PM
11

Does this kind of love not exist anymore? Has it been decimated by our “better, prettier, next” culture? I’m so sad for humanity. I really think it has. Social media is bombarding us with messages like 'Put yourself first' 'Treat yourself' 'Get rid of toxic people' 'Good vibes only'. I think a majority of people now believe that any slight discomfort is bad for you. Granted the guy in the post is too old for this, but I do think it's going to get worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 12:55 PM
8

I honestly don't even enjoy getting compliments anymore. It's like people expect me to be grateful for their unsolicited opinion. "You're very good at your job!" "Yep, so?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:02 PM
21

I wish I hadn't wasted my youth hating my body, because men always called me fat. It wasn't till I was an adult that I realised they call all women fat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:04 PM
65

He says he wants a thin lady, but he only invites her to dinner at craft breweries. Oh that's bane of my life when they want you to be thin, but also swill beers like a man :|
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:53 PM
14

I've noticed that most men LITERALLY don't see women's faces. They judge our bodies, hairstyle and maybe whether we "make an effort" (i.e. tight clothes and makeup) but very seldom will a man really see a woman's facial features.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:45 PM
34

I just read the old 1995 The Rules and it says "Men prefer long hair." And I was like "Yeah, men will have to shove it."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:42 PM
61

I knew someone in this exact situation for seven years. Then she married him. They don't always leave :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:35 PM
7

Can we please stop describing women as 'aging'? We are all aging all the time. Man of 35: young, virile, in the prime of life! Woman of 35: aging. We get enough of that from men, don't help them with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:34 PM
10

Even the "innocent" kids animes like Kiki's Delivery Service are full of upskirt shots of little girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:26 PM
19

I knew a woman who went in for a deviated septum and he literally gave her a 'better' nose while she was under.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 10:02 PM
43

I've found that of all surgeons I've met. I legit think you might need to be a sociopath to be comfortable cutting living people open.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 10:00 PM
41

I don't get how plastic surgeons are even doctors? They have to swear to never put a patient at unnecessary risk, but then they put someone under anaesthetic and cut them open, for fake boobies or some shit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:58 PM
8

From the first moment you see Pam, it's obvious that she's just there as an object to be won by Jim. The Office is sexist as hell, the guys who were writing it are sexist as hell. Watch literally any Ricky Gervais stand-up, a good 40% of it will be him saying he hates fat girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:55 PM
31

Run at the sign of ANY AND ALL jokes about hurting women. Even small throwaway jokes about how he can give you a ride home, he promises not to put you in the trunk RUN RUN RUN, he is letting you know he could do that if he wanted!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:42 PM
7

I don't get everyone saying she's fat, am I blind?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 06:21 AM
366

In 1837 in the UK, a man tried to kiss a woman against her will, and she bit off his nose. He took her to court, and she won the case, with the judge saying that if a man tried to kiss a woman against her will, she had every right to bite off his nose. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saverland_v_Newton#:~:text=Newton%20(1837)%20is%20a%20court,a%20kiss%20at%20a%20party%20is%20a%20court,a%20kiss%20at%20a%20party). I have taken a man to court for much worse than that and was met with a load of "Why a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:33 PM
14

Really? I tend to find boomers have at least a superficial 'women's lib' stance, and it's men of my age who have pornified expectations about how a woman 'ought to be'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:10 PM
29

I once read a horrifying advice column where a woman had to pee in the kitchen sink because her husband would spend hours in the bathroom with the ipad. Never occurred to me before, but he was probably whackin' it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:57 AM
11

That actually solves a mystery from my past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:55 AM
11

I've been platonic friends with a couple of guys with porn addictions (probably loads tbh, but two that I know of). In both cases, they went for girls with unbelievably good looks, despite being in one case, unhygienic, and the other case, just fuck ugly. They can be spotted in conversation by casually mentioning that a woman is fat, or something else that assumes we are all judging women on their looks all the time. "You know how Daisy is kind of short and fat, but she's really nice?" "...Er, '…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:50 AM
18

I liked what I thought was a HVM and when he opened his phone to show me something, his snapchat screen flashed up for a second and there was LOADS of porny pics of e-girls
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:33 AM
22

To *some* extent (maybe a tiny tiny extent, but enough to be worth discussing), being good looking is a character trait. None of us can help how tall we are, the bone structure in our face, how thick our hair is, etc. However, a lot of being attractive is simply how you work with what you've got. Having the respect for yourself and those you interact with, enough to be hygienic and well dressed and stay reasonably healthy, is a character trait. How you dress and style your hair says a lot about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 10:43 PM
9

I finally left in January and reached out to friends for support and literally no one showed up for me. At best I got a pat on the head and some toxic positivity. Ooof, I felt that one, sis :| Sounds like your levelling up is amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 06:53 PM
1

I don't know if I have one specific type, it's more about how they carry themselves. Being well dressed and clean with good posture are big to me. Other things: - Taller than me. I don't like tall per se, but taller than me. - Strong bones in face (big jaw and cheekbones etc) - Full head of hair is a plus - I like a broad build. Not body-builder type, but not slim and weedy. - NO FACIAL HAIR. I hate beards, it's weird to me how they're considered a standard of attractiveness now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:27 PM
1

I think it shows that he was acting like it was this big romantic moment in a film? Like he was imagining himself as the hero in a film going in for the kiss and then she's like "Nope."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:13 PM
42

I am really shocked and encouraged that a platform like Vice would publish content like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:58 PM
1

The way that games have become a "real" part of life is just astonishing to me. This should be the equivalent of, she did his rubix cube wrong so now he has to spend time fixing it, but he's full on acting like she got him demoted at work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:36 PM
11

harms her so bad she has to go to the ER He won't take her to the ER.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:24 PM
35

Performative bashfulness is my RUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN signal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 03:27 PM
33

I unironically blame RuPaul's drag race.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 09:43 PM
24

Yeah. It's always worth remembering that FDS is more about filtering LVM than turning them into HVM (as naive young me thought when I first read the handbook).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 09:39 PM
34

Thank you! Also to any young women out there who keep having men leave them and then turn up with LVW, which drives you crazy and makes you think "What, am I actually WORSE than her??": He left you for her BECAUSE he knew he wasn't good enough for you. The new woman is not necessarily prettier or nicer or in any way 'more worthy' than you - she is actually someone who tolerates his crappy behaviour when he felt in danger of you realising you were too good for him. Stay strong!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 09:25 PM
45

I can’t even look at him now, and holy shit this year since divorce he’s gained like 60 lbs his hair is grey he looks like he went from 30-45 overnight. Weirdly the exact same thing happened to me with two ex's lately. I saw them on social media and was like HOLY SMOKES, how did you manage to age fifteen years in six years? Two times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 09:17 PM
7

I hate that mace is illegal in the UK, I would feel so much safer with it :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:49 PM
3

Yeah, I only found out about her brother from reading this thread. I think because she's a bit quirky there's a pretence that she's not like all the other teen girl singers, she's all about the music, etc. But it's not true, she follows the same trajectory of all young girls with pushy parents who want to get their daughters in the media to make money off them. They all start out saying they're body positive and men shouldn't perv on them, then as soon as they're into adulthood they're doing nud…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 08:42 PM
10

The rallying call to other girls to be "sluts" and proud is disturbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:28 PM
9

She pandered to the male gaze in a way, in her lyrics. Bad Guy is about a girl saying she likes seducing married men and talking about how she gives blowjobs till she has bruises on her knees and stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:27 PM
6

But the moment I started to gain some confidence and improve myself - they didn’t like me that much anymore... it’s like it was the norm that I was the unhappy one and I wasn’t allowed to be happy. Definitely! I've found when I've levelled up that a lot of people did not want me to have more power or dignity, they wanted me to be their sad little pet that they could feel superior to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:01 PM
13

In Why Men Love Bitches, Sherry Argov says that when she asks people "Why do men love bitches?" women get offended and say they can't be bitches, and men just go "Yeah, why do we like bitches, interesting question."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:53 PM
13

B. Unless he has established a date, time and venue at least 3 days in advance, there is NO date. I needed to hear that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:45 PM
16

It could be any of those things, but I think they're testing to see how 'easy going' (or desperate) you are. A lot of women would sit in all day waiting for his call and eagerly agree when he names the venue at 5pm, then he'd realise he could keep you on a roster because you're 'chill' (desperate).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:43 PM
6

Yes yes yes yes yes! Big hugs Queen, I know exactly how you feel. Your worth isn't affected by other people's bad taste.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:18 PM
53

I was thinking, when he talks about women taking a sperm bank donation from 'some broke student that needed the money': yeah, there's nothing that men do with broke young women who just need money, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:58 PM
5

Don't be calling 40 year old women 'girls'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:55 PM
5

I know a woman who does this from home, even though she has her children living in the house with her. I found out because her partner's social media has a link to her OnlyFans and it says "I am so proud of my girlfriend for having the confidence to start doing adult work." :| :| :| :| :| Good luck, lady, hope your kids never google you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:49 PM
18

I've heard women who do online sex work say that something like 1 out of every 10 men who contact them actually end up paying. A lot of them just look for free sexy chat or spend ages setting up the details of a meeting that never happens, maybe because they get off on the 'danger' of hiring a SW. So, God knows how many work hours actually go into earning your $186, if you spend 9/10 of your time talking to timewasters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:47 PM
4

I cannot believe I lived to see this day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:40 PM
25

I don't get what's going on in his mind that he has now "fallen in love with" a woman he disrespected so much? Does he want to lock her down now he sees how much his friends fancy her? Has he just realised that these are the best nudes he's ever going to get?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:39 PM
8

They love it when women make the first move. What it means = they get an ego boost, they get easy sex What it doesn't mean = they are interested in a serious relationship with that woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:21 PM
7

Definitely! I've had to distance myself from a female friend whom I absolutely adore, because she's a total kinkmeisha and she lets men treat her however and thinks if you try to suggest it's not a good idea, that you're slutshaming her. I distanced myself from her, because despite being so lovely and fun, if she can stand me up for a man, she will. Men she's known six months are more important than friends she's known five years. It sucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:15 PM
22

Yep! Abusive or LV men who are doing alright financially love to find young women who are poor enough to be impressed by their money. The trope about old millionaires and young women is never 'young blonde hot shot lawyer', it's 'young blonde student with a part time waitressing job'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:33 PM
14

I had a guy get very shirty with me on OLD because I wouldn't say what I do, for precisely this reason. If he already knows your first name and where you live, which is standard on OLD, if he then knows what company you work for, he can freakin' come and wait outside the building for you to leave!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:28 PM
11

Honestly, LVM will settle for a more mediocre woman if you intimidate him. He knows deep down he's a loser and he doesn't want to be reminded of that by trying to keep up with a HVW, he will dump you for someone a little more in his lane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 08:36 PM
17

Dating someone with untreated depression and binge eating disorder might not be fun. I'm not saying that someone with those can't be a lovely person, but I've found that basically no addict is ever good in a close relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:38 PM
5

in 4 men aren't physically attractive Generous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:46 PM
4

Body image was HUGE in the 1920s, celebrities starved themselves to the point of having that flapper girl figure with no breasts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:45 PM
28

Honestly if I were queen of the world, it would be illegal for anyone to have children before they'd been to therapy and sorted their shit out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:38 PM
20

Totally. I know there's an obesity crisis now, but I think when boomer women talk about how we're all so fat now, they neglect to mention that a) everybody used to smoke, and b) women used to do literally anything to be thin. It was the norm for most of the 20th century for a woman's life to revolve around being thin. A few years ago I was very ill (throwing up every day for months) and a boomer woman told me it was good because "you'll probably lose quite a lot of weight". I eventually was hosp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:36 PM
5

10) Makes fun of me for anything I do for my health - makes fun of me for not drinking, or smoking, or tells me I'm wasting my time with exercise or being vain or whatever. 11) Says "Poor guy" when we're talking about Jimmy Savile. (Yes, really).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 05:55 PM
2

Sex without orgasm isn't fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 04:53 PM
17

And when you see them, any one of them would be lucky to be with a mid thirties wine mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 06:37 PM
36

Lewis Capaldi just upsets me. It's such a gross display of male privilege that he can be famous while looking like that. Adele was always beautiful even when she was heavier, and people never shut up about it. I've seen women dying in hospital who made more effort than Lewis Capaldi.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 06:35 PM
9

That picture was a punchline, that was NOT who I was expecting to see. As an aside, happy confident people don't describe themselves as if they're a character in a romance novella. Anyone who says they're strong yet sensitive or whatever, is describing their idea of who they think they are, or want to be. An actual worthwhile person just doesn't think like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:01 PM
3

I don't mean this to give offence to anyone with a mental illness, so I'm sorry if I do, but in my experience, people with mental illness who bring it up quickly in conversation are troublemakers. They are essentially telling you that any problem you notice with them is their illness, and that they expect it to be a big concern for you, that you will now work around them. (IME) People with mental illness who are kind and respectful and don't feel entitled to make everyone else work around them, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:43 PM
13

Absolutely fucking RUN if a man ever tells you about his personal problems in the first conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 08:58 PM
60

Does anyone else ever read these and realise that no one has ever been in love with you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 08:47 PM
130

A few days ago a male co-worker who I thought was a HVM began this negotiation with me. I found out the same day that he is planning on proposing to his girlfriend :( He tried to justify how he was behaving with me by saying that his girlfriend is not affectionate with him. And yeah I've second-guessed myself because 'he's always been so nice!', but it took listening to my gut, like this book says, to re-route my brain to 'How is he nice? He's trying to cheat.'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 01:16 AM
83

I think men often imagine that if they hire a prostitute she'll fall in love with them. I think the crying is an attempt to manipulate her into asking what's wrong and then he can tell her how sad his life is and then he imagines she'll comfort him and say she's never felt this way about a client before and blah blah blah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 05:56 PM
56

The person posting that question is imagining a world in which Johns are worse off than the SW themselves. SW are apparently having a chill time and just occasionally they get a glimpse into the terribly sad world of a man with disposable income? Every day I live as a woman I get more depressed. I saw this right after I saw the livestream of the reddit 'most popular video right now' which is of that fat male musician who is so often the most viewed right now. Can you IMAGINE looking like that as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 05:50 PM
6

Yeah, I realise it's insecurity, most meanness is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 08:10 AM
7

Thank you Queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 01:11 AM
19

Alright, buckle up, and TW: this one turns out to be a rapist. - Fat, self-loathing. I decide I am going to love him for who he is and make him happy because I am so kind and deep and [Clown stuff]. - He has another girlfriend, who he has been with for seven years before he met me. It's ok though! They're in an open relationship! She goes to college in another town, so they opened the relationship so they could have their needs met in their respective locales. (She got way more offers than him -…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 01:06 AM
34

I wish there was a word for this because it's so common. I've known a LOT of people to say things to their partners like "You can't go out socialising without me, that is a BOUNDARY you must respect, if you CROSS MY BOUNDARIES and make me UNCOMFORTABLE, you are NEGATIVELY IMPACTING MY MENTAL HEALTH." All this new social-justice-mental-health speech has already been turned on its head by abusive fuckwits, same as people in the seventeenth century using Bible verses to make themselves sound better…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:37 AM
107

I don't date taller men because I'm a heighist shrew. I date taller men because they are NICER. Unfortunately I'm like this about weight. The meanness and insecurity I've experienced from fat men just isn't worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 07:56 PM
22

I used to live next door to a couple, and whenever I saw them out, the man was always walking at least three paces in front of the woman. It was gross. It wasn't a cultural thing either, they were white British, he was just charging along as if she just had to keep up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 07:50 PM
377

Every week on Ask Reddit there's a "Men who were raped by women, what's your story?" and it's always massively upvoted as if FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS SAID IT! Every week. I'd like to post a "Women who were raped by men, what's your story?" but I can't be bothered with the wrath I'd get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 04:11 PM
66

I legit have never been told that your vagina gets stitched up afterwards, not by school, not at college, not by friends who've had kids or any of the media. I was today years old when I learned this. And that she was awake for it??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 01:53 AM
5

Yeah, I do hate this rule and if it's real I want it to be torched, but it seems to me like if OP's brother said "There's a rule at my school where if you turn someone down to prom, you can't go", he probably meant that it's a sort of social norm enforced by the kids themselves, not an actual rule by the school board.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 04:38 PM
5

Or maybe that's not the problem at all, and what is really going on is that her dad is sexually attracted to her>: "He was visibly shaking and screaming at the thought of my daughter wearing a tank top " and the pickmeisha stepmom is aware of this and wants to "secure her man" somehow by eliminating the "competition" as fucked up as that may sound to a normal person. Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 04:16 PM
8

Stepmom is actually insecure about OP's daughter being better looking than her? It's gross whatever it is, but it could be that rather than an issue with the boys like the stepmom is framing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 04:09 PM
4

This was exactly the most troubling thing for me, that she was afraid to even let OP speak to the father. She must have reason to believe he'd retaliate very badly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 04:08 PM
3

We pretend that we've had a revolution of accepting mental health problems, but really it's just been another way of making sure men's problems are the centre of the fucking universe again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 03:59 PM
24

It's so scary - 30 is only about 1/3 of the way through the life expectancy of a young woman today. It is so absurd that society can write off two thirds of a life. See also: Attitude to 30 year old man = young, virile has his whole life ahead of him! Attitude to 30 year old woman = first flush of youth has withered, she should settle down before it's too late.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 04:17 PM
27

Honestly, abusers never change. My money is on him having a mistress, to whom he now channels his abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 08:51 PM
23

I actually did have a relationship with someone who was 6', six inches and from a very wealthy family... it was the most abusive breakup I've ever had. After several experiences similar to OP's (but shorter lived, thank God) I do not date men from rich families. Men who come from poor families and have worked their way up are my favourite. The men I've dated from rich families have all been emotionally lazy - they have never had to fight for anything or really worry. They are missing an emotiona…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 06:13 PM
27

This is literally my biggest regret in life. When I was a gorgeous 18-20 year old, I went out with ugly guys thinking it made me so nice and kind and not shallow... but they all became entitled so quickly. They all after a couple of months got bored and started treating me like I was just the base level of what they were entitled to. I'm now super careful not to let anyone else's self-esteem be my business.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 05:53 PM
31

I know a lady in her late 50s and she's told me oral sex used to be taboo and men would beg their girlfriends for it, but it was considered weird and out-there, not something you had to do. I was going to say 'like anal is now', but more and more guys expect anal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 05:46 PM
12

Oh same: I was enjoying chatting to this guy, but when we exchanged face pics he didn't comment and I was like "...?" So I moved on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 05:38 PM
27

Personally I probably wouldn't go on a coffee date - lots of effort to leave the house and take time out of my day and stuff for a £3 coffee and a date that's unlikely to last more than an hour. HOWEVER. I have a similar rule to this - first date or very early on, I let him see me without makeup. No use dating him if he doesn't like my face the way it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:56 PM
6

Literally all of his films are about him being entitled to a woman who is way too young and beautiful for him. He is a creepy megalomaniac who creates all these fantasy women that he has total control over, and uses that control to make them bang him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:25 PM
5

For the same reason, I'm always creeped out when I see big public proposals. Maybe sometimes they are well-intentioned, but I always think they're a blatant "Lol she can't refuse because she'll be too embarrassed and everyone will think she's a bitch if she turns me down."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 06:45 PM
3

I'm surprised this isn't harassment or something - a man could easily use this to humiliate an ex, find out if she still lives in the same place with the same phone number (if she had blocked his number). The hosts have no way of knowing if what the guys says is true, he could be anybody, her violent ex husband or whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 06:43 PM
5

If these were scripted, they probably seem like feel-good stories to the men writing them. "Nice guy gets to prove himself to a girl who mistakenly broke up with him, we get her to agree to see him again, yeaaahhhh!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 06:39 PM
20

I don't know much about Australian politics, but she was brilliant. I've never seen anyone look so cowed as he does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 06:05 PM
11

Why do I get upset about having stray eyebrow hairs when men are out there looking like this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:09 PM
4

Nothing pisses me off like "Man sized tissues". Like men wouldn't be wiping their snot unless Kleenex convinced them it was a big tough thing to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 05:16 PM
23

When I was 19, I had a boyfriend who was properly shocked that I have a tiny trail of hair down from my belly button. He spoke to me about it like it was bizarre, like it was something I should have warned him about, he even laughed at me. I felt terrible about it for years and it wasn't until I was in my mid 20s that other women I knew began to speak about having body hair in 'non-acceptable' places.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 05:10 PM
3

I work with what I thought was an amazing young man (early 20s). Kind, very intelligent, doesn't watch porn which is unheard of in his age group, provides for his girlfriend, always willing to help me out at work... Because we've been social distancing for a year, I've never stood right next to him. Except accidentally a few weeks back. Dude literally smells like actual shit. Literally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 05:06 PM
36

When I was at school all the boys talked about how hot Jenna Jameson was. Fast forward a few years and it comes out that she was addicted to drugs in highschool, one point she was 76lbs, she's been raped, she had an abusive relationship with a much older man. She herself even says this played a part in why she got into porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 05:02 PM
19

Or a military man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 04:52 PM
3

I've had two separate guys tell me they were working for the secret service. They both used the phrase "one of the good guys".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 04:51 PM
6

Yes yes yes!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 04:27 PM
176

My other favourite "I never see the signals, so women will need to be really obvious with me lol" = "No one is ever interested in me, but you should throw yourself at me to have a shot."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 11:47 AM
2

Re: being polished, I have friends who've met her IRL and they all say she's a walking skeleton in person. She looks good for the camera, but it adds 10lbs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 05:56 AM
3

The media makes one a villain in order to uplift the other, and now the script has flipped. We don’t have to play into the comparisons. Totally. I do agree with what OP has written here, but yes, public opinion changes constantly, and it usually tears down women once they hit middle age. Kate has been the public's darling for many years and it's just her turn to be made the villain. We don't need to pick sides deciding whether she or Meghan are the baddie, human relationships are complex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 05:54 AM
12

She had a picture of Wills on her bedroom wall when she was young, and she purposely wore a sheer dress to an event where she knew he was going to be at uni. She absolutely threw herself at him. And yes, I think you're right that he went for her in the end because she's 'acceptable' queen material. If we learned anything from the Harry/Meghan thing, it's that the royals still don't have 100% say in who they marry, there are still pressures from what is expected. FWIW, I think it was probably Wil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 05:46 AM
32

Literally every woman with children I know has mixed feelings about it. Not that they don't love their children more than anything, but it's always 'I love my kid more than anything, but I've been so isolated since I had them'. Or 'I love my kid more than anything, but I hate that I have to live on such a tight budget because of childcare.' None of them ever outright say it's a blast and there's no downsides. Most (not all) men with kids are like 'Hey having kids is awesome, they make me laugh a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 11:48 PM
12

Polly's response is great. I was listening to someone talk about their relationship today and I realised that only people in bad relationships spend time assuring you that their relationship is great. "We are honest about our flaws and we're mature about it" = "We're unhappy and cool with it."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:00 AM
28

He looks like he's going as Super Mario for trick or treating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:44 AM
18

I think sex dolls as a concept are terrifying, it's basically wanting to have sex with a lifeless body, I think all men who want them only value women as looks and would rather there was no person attached. When she says "he's just doing what any man with a wife who looks like me would do"... that's heart breaking. I bet if we could see them we'd think he was lucky to be with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:18 AM
50

For real. I've dated some very wealthy LVM. Pro tip: if he's got a rich daddy, it's very likely he's never had to work very hard for anything, and that reflects on his effort in relationships. At the time, the royal family insisted that the mother of the future king had to be a virgin at marriage, so of course that meant it was almost certain to be someone very young with very little relationship experience. I felt so bad for Diana when she's in Buckingham palace waiting for the wedding and no o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:04 AM
68

= sees weird stuff in porn, wants to try it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 03:18 AM
21

I think that first one woke me up all over again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 03:14 AM
15

I always say "I'm not too much, you're not enough."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 02:47 AM
6

WE NEED TO START TEACHING WOMEN IT'S FINE TO BE ALONE, GAAHHH :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:01 PM
68

I never get why anyone bothers to be annoyed that people are attracted to attractive people. I can guarantee he'd look better even with an hour's walk a day, drinking water and buying some flattering clothes. But no, he's ensconced in bitterness. Red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 10:22 PM
16

I love this post. It's bothered me for years that "self care" has been twisted to mean eat cake in a bubble bath. It's becoming co-opted by companies to sell you stuff, imo, and most women don't want to be fat so the onslaught of cupcakes does no favours. Self care has a lot of stuff in it that's temporarily uncomfortable, like going to the dentist, looking honestly at your flaws, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 02:08 PM
10

Don't shoot the messenger, but beyond a certain age, people who are broken are broken because they like being broken. I come from a background of massive abuse (like, been the prosecutor in multiple court cases, that level of abuse) and the resultant mental illness, so I feel qualified to say this. I go to therapy, I take medication, I work hard to have a lifestyle that keeps me stable, I cut off the wrong people, I refuse to work too hard or binge drink or go without sleep... wait, this isn't a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:28 PM
2

I cringe so hard for my younger self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:20 PM
4

women *children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 02:35 PM
9

That happened to me too. There is a graph that appears here sometimes about the time girls first noticed they were getting sexual attention from men, and I think the average age was 11.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 02:22 PM
6

Are you saying girls who aren't black only get sexually harassed as children occasionally? That's incredibly hurtful and untrue. I don't want to dismiss that it happens to black girls more frequently, that may be true, but to say it happens *occasionally* to other girls is just awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 02:21 PM
46

I don't think he thinks it's funny, I think it's a fetish that he enjoys forcing on other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 10:36 AM
3

It turned up in my Google searches when I was reading about Why Men Love Bitches.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 09:07 AM
5

Is that face drawn on, or is that how ray fish actually look?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 06:25 PM
27

Bizarrely combative statement about something that isn't at all controversial. "Fish and chips are amazing tho, let's be real."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 07:18 PM
21

His inadequate dick is nature's design.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 03:10 PM
16

In the Victorian era, it was thought that women were physically incapable of sex. Literally a generation of men, THAT bad in bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 03:08 PM
3

Yeah, I used to live in Edinburgh. Fantastic place, but you wanted to be at home with the doors locked by 9pm :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 07:59 PM
6

I'm really shocked by this, I used to think she was a bit of a Queen. Personally I wasn't a fan of WAP, it just seems like the same old "I'm not like other girls I'm totally horny all the time" thing, which advertises to young girls that the more sexually available you are, the better you are, and this is a sad end point of that attitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 06:42 PM
13

the country has the highest per capita cocaine use in the world Didn't know that :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 01:28 AM
9

Someone being polite while they're a dick doesn't make them less of a dick. Underneath surface behaviour, they're pretty much like American men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 01:27 AM
8

As a British woman I have mostly dated British men, but also a few Americans. Honestly, they're about the same. Compared to what you're used to, some British men might behave with more reserve and decorum, but those are just surface behaviours, they aren't personality traits. By and large, what's in America was carried over from Europe, including patriarchy and male entitlement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 01:26 AM
18

Recently I was texting with a man. When he asked me where I worked, I said "I work in ____ field, but I won't say where in case I dox myself." He then said "Well then I shall leave you in peace." With the peace-fingers emoji. I said woah, what the hell, why are you 'leaving me in peace' just because I wouldn't tell you where I work? He said it came across as overly defensive and he was "looking for friends, maybe more". I was appalled. A woman refuses to name the specific identifiable place she …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 11:03 PM
14

An annoying variant on this that I also see all the time is when he dumps the HVW believing he can do better...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 03:59 PM
12

Firstly, the "funny fat guy" thing isn't real. I don't like people who kid around to hide their insecurity, they may be jokey, but they aren't funny. Secondly, "binge drink on the regular". That's literally on my top three things I don't want in a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 01:56 PM
7

- Respects me. That means he won't push at my boundaries or try to trick me into accepting bad behaviour. He has to be aware that I am a catch and he should be trying to impress me - even six or twelve months into the relationship, he should be treating me with good manners and taking me on dates. - Has the kind of looks that give me butterflies. I'm not attracted to many people, but I won't compromise on this, I've had too much mediocre sex to go back there. - No emotional baggage. I know every…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 09:04 PM
6

I hate that I can taste this picture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:26 AM
13

I definitely believe most of them don't appreciate a woman's true looks, her bone structure, shape of facial features etc. The hair thing is about performed pornified femininity. The Kardashian "feminine" look, long hair, long nails, big lips, big bum and boobs but thin everywhere else. There's nothing masculine about a pixie cut, just like there's nothing masculine about small boobs, but so many men have a deranged idea of what feminine looks like and feminine = the only measure of attractivene…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:56 PM
50

If he can afford his own dinner, but not hers, he could have waited another week to ask her out and save up the money. The fact he didn't do even that shows that he was basically expecting sex right away and he didn't care enough about her to be planning to talk to her in a week's time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 03:22 PM
15

No, he should obviously ask other fat guys on reddit to confirm that his wife is mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 11:22 AM
27

not because he got fat, but because he got mean Unfortunately the two often seem to go hand in hand (caveat that there are lots of nice fat people). Idk if these men just decide they've landed the wife so now they can stop making an effort in all areas, or if they become more insecure and jealous when they get fat, but something's up there...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 11:08 AM
35

Pretending to be serious about you is a way they get into your pants. I once had a guy try to take me back to meet his friends on a first date. Urgh urgh urgh!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 10:41 AM
20

"My husband wanted me pregnant, but I was worried he wouldn't like me with a big belly." Ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 07:26 PM
14

Hey, my ex is back on Facebook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 10:38 PM
11

I often hear men say they get no compliments, but in a relationship I will tell a man he's handsome all the time! Thing is, he actually has to be handsome. It''s a disconnect because men always behave like they're God's gift and feel entitled to really attractive women, so they must believe they attractive? But that women mysteriously never pay due deference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:11 PM
3

Yes. I think a big thing for me has been to not pursue friendships with people who don't show enthusiastic interest. It's very common for people to say they'll hang out with you only to drop out last minute if they get a better offer, or just want to stay home that night. Old me would have said "That's ok, would you like to do next week? Tues and Fri are good for me." Now I'm just like "Ok." If they cancel it's up to them to rearrange. On the one hand it's good to not have emotional investment i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 08:47 PM
3

This is so true. At the minute I'm sorta lonely because I've walked out on all my LV friends and not yet made any HV ones (I guess this takes time). But yeah, it took experience to realise that I can't explain to people why they should respect me, if they don't respect a fantastic woman, that's their problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 06:30 PM
6

Yeah, a guy said that to me. He's a wealthy accountant now, and he slid into my DMs after he got married. Goes to show that LVM can come from all strata of life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 06:27 PM
8

Ew, once I was walking down the street and an old guy called to me from across the street. He was beckoning to me. I think he'd asked me for money opr help with something or whatever, but I was wearing headphones. I stupidly stopped and acknowledged him (I was young) and said "What?" and he said "I'm diabetic!" And I said "What?" He said, "Never mind then! Fat cow!" Dude looked like if Barney Gumble had let himself go. I am a former model.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 06:24 PM
19

I ditched him at 16, and my parents at 25.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:44 PM
22

The people I've met who've been into BDSM have a lot in common, most of it bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:57 PM
23

I think also we were much tech savvier than our parents. Like, my and my friends' parents just didn't even use the internet. Adults would tell you about stranger danger, but no one would ever enforce it or even really know what the internet was like. They thought it was little girls' problem to not go into the "shady" areas of the internet, without knowing/caring that perverts were everywhere. Society was telling us we needed to be pretty and have a boyfriend, but expressing shock and disgust if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:56 PM
11

Ohhhh, fanfiction. Oh boy. There;s a lot to unpack there, but in that scene when I was 12/13, I remember thinking that girls wanted to write extreme sex scenes because they felt it made them cool and grown up. They didn't want to be the babyish people who only wrote about kissing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:53 PM
21

I remember Habbo Hotel, where men would actually go up to your little figurine and say "You are beautiful, I want to see the real you".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:49 PM
25

Urrghh. When I was 13, I got into a "friendship" with a 35 year old man online. We talked every day for nearly three years, and surprise surprise he was massively emotionally abusive. The crazy thing was, my parents knew about it and told me to stop complaining about him. The sexism in my seemingly lovely middle class suburban household was bizarre. 13 year old girl should shut up and deal with middle aged narcissist raging at her, it's her job to be nice afterall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:47 PM
2

It's great to hear you feel like this. In a similar thing, I was thinking recently about relationships and friendships I've had that ended badly, things that caused me a lot of pain at the time. But in retrospect there's no one I've fallen out with that I would want back in my life. It's called a break up cause it's broken.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:23 PM
14

As someone with an actual mental illness, it sucks to so frequently see it used as something it isn't. Mental illness does not automatically mean that you are wrong, that you don't see reality correctly or that your emotions are too much. You can be mentally ill and still have a lucid view of what is going on in your life, you can definitely be mentally ill and still be on the right side in an argument and being mentally ill doesn't necessarily mean your emotions are disproportionate to what is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:10 PM
15

I feel you. Looking back, I'm kind of annoyed with myself how much more bad behaviour I'll put up with if a guy is handsome :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 01:23 PM
22

I think too many people are taking your stance as a personal slight against them, you do you queen x
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 11:32 AM
95

That second paragraph is how I feel about the stereotype that women only date Chads and we should give ugly guys a chance. Ugly guys think they're somehow more humble, deep and caring and ENTITLED TO YOU than Chads, but like this woman says, they're the same shitheads, but ugly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 10:52 AM
8

Urgh, that fat upper half on the scrawny legs look is the worst thing for me. I don't mind a bit of pudge on an otherwise healthy man, but that chicken leg thing is like "Hello, I never walk anywhere ever."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:55 PM
3

Yeah, when I see the term dad-bod, I still think of Leo DiCaprio, who was mentioned as an example when the term first came out. And I like a little bit of pudge on a strong healthy man. I didn't know the term had evolved so much lately. But yeah men do have a history of saying cutesy things about their lack of health. "It's all paid for" "Just relaxed muscle" etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:53 PM
13

Mountain Dew or Coke That's interesting, I was reading the post like Wtf, what do they drink then?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:50 PM
39

"Ever dated a guy with kids" = "I have kids". "Do you want kids?" = "Would you be open to doing my share of the parent work for my kids from another woman?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:46 PM
14

I'm surprised "Does he have to have tattoos" exists. I would say he has to not have tattoos. Each to their own, but they look cheap to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:45 PM
10

Good point!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 02:47 PM
42

Most people tell me I overthink social interactions and I'm supposed to have anxiety, but tbf most of the relationships I have where I'm really worried, they do turn out to be a shit. I'm beginning to think rather than anxiety I just see a nasty situation coming from a lot further off than other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 02:44 PM
3

As someone who has a lot of the symptoms you've listed and been unable to get an answer from professionals, do you mind me asking what type of infection it was? Was it candida or something else? x
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:14 PM
3

Thank you so much for your reply, it's made my day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 02:55 PM
12

Can I talk about my working on myself here? We live in a world where a woman talking about her achivements is gauche so I can't write them on my social media. This year I have: Got a daring new haircut after 20 years of having long limp hair Got a new job, when I begin I will be the richest I have ever been Told people who were holding me back in my life that I am not available to hang out anymore (these are people who knew me from the old days and were determined to stick to seeing me as a vict…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 02:38 PM
6

She's not on benefits, and I'm from humble stock as well (grew up with a single mum on a council estate), it's just sad that this isn't the life she wanted and could have had if she hadn't met that asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 05:33 PM
27

This is why I'm always high maintenance in relationships. If he doesn't like me enough to take me on actual dates and respect my time while I pursue work and get my beauty treatments done, he doesn't get any free sex and emotional labour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 04:25 PM
11

This exact story happened to my childhood best friend. She had dreams of moving to London and being a textile artist. Now she lives in a council house with her kid and his father has nothing to do with either of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 04:23 PM
22

I recently have fallen out with a male friend who was a self-confessed porn addict. We weren't in a relationship so it didn't affect me directly, but I noticed things in his personality that became very off-putting. He was not at all attractive (bonk eye, no chin, bad dress sense) but he would only pursue ridiculously attractive women. His girlfriends were always six foot tall, slim but curvy, blonde and very well dressed. And of course they were hella insecure to be dating him. His view of hims…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 05:35 PM
77

You should never confuse momentary attention from men for them liking you. They all "loved" her for buying them beer? No shit, they'd be Joe McCarthy's best friend for five minutes if he bought them alcohol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 02:34 PM
27

Oh! I was thinking he was holding the crumb of a sandwich. Man, am I naive, lol! Also, she looks to be really pregnant while she's about to do that line of coke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 12:00 PM
60

I genuinely got dumped by a boy so he could have more time to play Skyrim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:58 AM
0

There's been data showing how many fewer Covid-19 deaths there have been under female leaders, it's thought to be because they are more human-driven and less money-driven than male leaders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 09:59 PM
3

Men hate women because they think we are sneakily getting a lot of help that they are somehow locked out of. Like, we get help, somehow? No mate, I pay for therapy privately, just like you could. There's not a secret club of lovey-dovey support for women with depression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:21 PM
7

I hate that men revel in the victimhood of not being "allowed" to talk about their emotions. It's a rule men themselves made! They aren't open about their feelings... so, the answer to that is to bitch about how they "can't" be open about their feelings?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:19 PM
2

I absolutely don't fuck with people who are against therapy any more, even as friends or relations. I realise not everyone needs therapy, but if people look down on it and thinks it makes you crazy, that's a neon sign that says "I am an asshole who will always make my problems your problems".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:16 PM
6

Every single week on Ask Reddit there's a post like "Men who've been raped by women, what's your story?" And it gets upvoted and gilded. No one ever asks the same thing about women even though it's 90x more common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:14 PM
3

I used to go to a meet up group run by an Irish guy, and I stopped going because I was like 80% sure he was falling in love with me, and he was married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 11:36 PM
33

It's nice when the trash takes itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:58 PM
8

It's so much more common than you'd think as well :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 04:06 PM
10

"You're very-" "Stop right there."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:57 PM
10

I'm having flashbacks to a guy I really liked, when I asked him if he had siblings, he said he had a sister THEN HE DIDN'T RETURN THE QUESTION TO ME!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:52 PM
17

"You can hang all weekend I don't care". Why the hell did he think "I don't care" was a good way to frame having sex with her? At least fuckboys usually pretend to be interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:47 PM
30

I've a controversial one: guys (and women) who are still obsessed with their childhood interests. Like, still buying new PlayStation releases, have Pokemon tattoos, can have a genuine argument about whether Dumbledore was a good or bad guy... It's different than having a nostalgic interest, it's that they consider adult things boring and think they are cool for still liking kid things. This culture that "nerds" are fun and cool is usually just a cover up for people who don't want to develop emot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:42 PM
11

I doubt it's at all like he says it is, he's "discovering" someone he wants to sleep with more. He was literally looking for a jizz rag and when you turned him down he was so annoyed that he's trying to slyly imply he's leaving you for someone better in bed. Fuck that, he's just looking for an easy lay who he has no real interest in at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:18 PM
1

We work the same jobs and make less money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 11:02 AM
40

I am livid at the number of comments telling her to "just leave!!!" or "Stay with family". If she had any family she could rely on, why would she be in this situation? And she has no income: if she leaves, she'll literally be on the streets where she's even more likely to be raped and killed. FFS. It's like everyone thinks she's only getting raped because she's too stupid to know she could move out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 11:57 AM
4

Lately I've been thinking that calling someone a prude is just society's way of letting men get whatever they want. Just because things are legal, it doesn't make them moral, it just means the police can't technically stop you. I think even a 19-year-old with a 30-year-old is awful. I have to meet some college-age people through work and sometimes they're keen to be friends (I'm 32) but they are just so emotionally immature, it would be exploitative of me to treat them as a peer. I can't even im…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 10:40 PM
27

Why is 20 the youngest this goes? It means we can't see how young they'd REALLY go. Men are always saying it's natural that they fancy young women because of genetics and evolution n stuff, but by that logic they should accept that young women naturally find them gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:34 PM
48

He's trying to frame it that her autism makes her too burdensome, but literally most of that stuff could be from ANY friend - laughs at stupid shit, plans events before they go, only goes to places she'll enjoy, stays late chatting to Wife, Wife supports her to do difficult shit. Literally a description of a normal friendship. He's trying to make it look like her autism is the problem. The problem is he doesn't want his wife's attention on someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:23 PM
7

"We are both consenting adults." She's literally telling him she doesn't consent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:11 PM
18

Yeah, being GF'd by a fuckboy is not an achievement, and not being GF'd by a fuckboy isn't something to feel bad about. It was a big relief for me when I realised fuckboys actually go after low-hanging fruit. I always thought I couldn't land my fuckboy crushes because I wasn't good enough. In the end I realise it's because they feel inadequate around me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 10:21 PM
13

I can't believe I had to scroll this far down. Her face/neck is massively photoshopped, there's nothing natural about her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 09:56 PM
18

I though that when I saw this image - she is modestly dressed and all, but she's still an unachievable standard of beauty because she's filtered to heck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 09:52 PM
5

Not everyone on reddit is American. I was thinking of social services too, but we don't know where in the world she is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 12:23 PM
2

It's shocking how much it increases over time. I once read a study that said 27 year old men were the "worst" people, but idk, at 32 I've found most people didn't mature past 25 or ever change for the better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 12:16 PM
3

Literally the worst bio I've ever seen. Also what is it with men having either vintage cars or shots of themselves holding giant fish as OLD pics? Is that an attempt to impress women with the same machismo BS they use to impress other men? It's such a misfire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 12:11 PM
10

A) No one has to EARN sex? No one is ENTITLED to sex, no one can possibly be ENTITLED to access to the inside of another human being, they have to act in a way that merits it. B) Men treat us exactly like prostitutes. 99% of them think a woman has swindled them if he buys her a £20 dinner and she doesn't suck and fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 11:37 AM
11

She is awesome. I hate this idea that you're not "settled down" unless you're married. I have my own house, a career, nearly all the material things I've ever wanted, yet somehow I must just be floating around like an emotional drifter because I'm not with a man?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 01:57 AM
6

Yeah! He definitely got off on it, he was obsessed with it, but yeah I found it went way beyond sex, it was an obsession in the rest of his life. FWIW, I think he did just beat off to it and wasn't going to actually do it, but it wasn't like he forgot about it when he wasn't horny, it was always on his mind (or he was always horny).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 05:20 PM
22

Recycling this from another thread I posted in: Fetishes come from very deep down in us psychologically. They may not be our fault, but they absolutely reveal a lot about a person on a very deep level. If you're disturbed by a kink, it's 100% certain that it reveals some incompatibility between you and them. My story's pretty crazy, but I'll lay it out. The last guy I reeaaaaallllly liked, we were having an amazing time and all loved up. Then he told me about his fetish. It was gaining weight. S…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:30 PM
7

What an absolute scumbag. In the comments, OP says "He plays a lot of casino games on his phone but I'd NEVER guess an addiction." There are still a few people telling her to hold off on getting the divorce. If I were her I'd be thinking about moving to a safe house, he sounds like a psycho. In almost all of the cases of where a man murders his family then kills himself, it was triggered by his fear of the family finding out he was a financial failure. I'm not saying this will happen to OP, but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:30 PM
2

Oh it's dumb as shit. If people come up with a technical enough term these days, they can shame you for feeling anything natural.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:38 PM
2

It's where you're meant to get happiness from seeing your partner happy, instead of feeling jealous. It's a common term in poly circles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:50 AM
3

Did you see that crap where a woman had five boyfriends and was pregnant by one of them? They were all fuck ugly gamer types, and one of them ended up beating the baby and breaking her bones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:36 AM
9

I love that he thinks this picture is so classy, while he's dressed like a wanna be Mafia CEO outside of the cheapest cafe. It serves "Hot Food" ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:19 PM
41

Every poly relationship I've known falls apart when someone meets a person who they like enough to be with exclusively.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:14 PM
3

Engaged for three years before you start planning the wedding? If you're engaged but not planning the wedding, you're "engaged." I've known a lot of women to get "engaged" to make their shit relationship look legit. They never get married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:00 PM
6

The number of things I see on reddit that are actually just guys writing out their bizarre sexual fantasies as if they happened...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 08:49 PM
47

They are running away from the feelings of inadequacy they have around her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 06:36 PM
25

This is the beginning of her being married to a fat insecure guy who accuses her of cheating when she so much as sees another man on tv.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 10:51 PM
9

Most of the old women I know, their kids live in other countries. That's the world now, your daughter isn't going to live three houses away and come in to do your washing every day, it isn't 1950. The best way to prepare for your old age is to have the finances to hire good care workers, and live so you won't have big regrets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 04:21 PM
2

This is disgusting, but it helps me to hear it from the horse's mouth, I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 04:04 PM
29

Urgghhh, in my young and foolish days, I travelled 400 miles for a guy I was convinced was the one. He didn't show up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 03:38 PM
14

I hate hate hate beards, I don't know how they're considered a goal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 04:02 PM
74

Relationship for one year, baby born last week. So, she got pregnant three months in? The guy's a real asshole, but she needs to be smarter. Hope she dumps him and learns about condoms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 08:15 PM
41

I had one of these assholes message me back in my OLD days, saying "What do you think of guys who like spoiling women with presents?" I thought of saying "I HATE THEM" but I just blocked because it involved hitting fewer keys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 10:12 PM
28

One chooses to be a sex worker in the same way you choose to stay with an abusive man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 10:51 AM
10

reduces the price of sex There are sex workers working very, very cheaply, probably especially the trafficked ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 10:50 AM
8

They aren't silly, those are great! Good luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 09:03 AM
3

This is great, go you! I always have some level-up plans on the go. Currently: Yep, also get to that low-20s BMI. I'm going entirely plant based, on about week 4, it's getting easier I've started weight lifting! Currently doing circuit training every other day, hoping to move up to 5-6 days a week soon (just getting over a sickness right now) Move on from some some people in my life who are dragging me down Doing this skin treatment that will take a long time, but I feel optimistic about it Toda…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 08:55 AM
4

Mentally damaged men killing their families To steal money for their camgirl girlfriends... Wat. Is that a real case?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 08:59 PM
8

I guarantee you it's because deep down these men know they're shit. They want to present a facade of being a deep, caring guy long enough to get laid, but they know they can't sustain it. This especially goes if they're pretending to be intelligent to keep up with an intelligent woman. So they start off all over you, because they're attracted to you, but as you get more attached to him, he realises you're getting closer to seeing the real him, so rather than admit that he's LV, he affects to not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 08:40 PM
27

In my experience, be wary of any man who says he's 5'8''. That's the height they say if they are actually tiny, like 5'1'' - 5'3''. Nothing wrong with being that height, but they are lying. I've been told as well that 5'11'' is the height they say if they know they're too short to get away with saying 6 foot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 08:30 PM
6

Idk, I've known many women find out that they were the secret fat girlfriend, who he thinks about while he has sex with his thin socially-acceptable girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 10:28 AM
2

I've literally today deleted a load of bare-minimum friends from my social media. The kind that keep saying "Let's get together!" but are never there for concrete plans. The kind who say they need your address to send you a birthday gift but never do. The kind who you'd like to ignore, but they like your status once in a blue moon. I was stuck in this mental rut of "They're just busy, we'll grow back together eventually, I shouldn't be too needy, they just have stuff going on." But I can't put m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:28 PM
12

He CAN'T feed himself? I think if she left him alone for a week, she'd find he miraculously developed that ability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 12:36 AM
2

Relevant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W-9YWjrwn4
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 02:59 PM
71

"I fancy you so it's convenient for me to think of you as an adult, rather than think of myself as a pedophile."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 02:47 PM
57

I don't like the fact that we praise kids for being mature for their age. Let them be kids. I was "mature for my age" because I had to be because life was very tough. If I could go back in time and just be a normal kid, I totally would. Maturity is a good quality in an adult, but just as an adult should act like an adult, a kid is allowed to act like a kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 02:43 PM
21

I've seen this before. Guys who want you to be miserable would rather date someone with no confidence, where he can put her down for her weight, than that she was healthy and happy - then he couldn't make himself feel better by putting her down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 02:02 PM
103

- "Knows more about this topic than anyone in the world." - Side steps conversation on important issues - Fondness for beauty queens - Still expects sex OP is talking to Donald Trump, confirmed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 12:22 PM
42

I cannot imagine why these men think straight women are always up for sleeping with women. Like, ew. He can find another man if he wants a threesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 08:59 PM
22

Yeah, hot smart lovely women often get treated badly by men. I like to think that these men want to get with the woman, initially, but deep down they know they won't be able to keep her interest, so they crap out early.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:48 PM
16

I NEVER would wait around for someone who is asking to change the time after I've started getting ready (within 2 hours of the date). This is a good system, I need this in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:46 PM
10

This is why I don't OLD anymore. If the guy doesn't like me so much that he'll come to me in person, risking rejection, and plan something I'd actually enjoy, then he doesn't like me enough to be worth having a relationship with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:42 PM
19

compliments and straight up negging on the first message. Oh damn, yeah. I always got "How do u know ur intelligent lol". I just am, do you want me to sit here and lay out all my academic and career achievements for you so you can decide whether it's ok for a woman you've never met to call herself intelligent. Fuck off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 07:16 PM
13

In my view the number ratings system is LV. What a man is saying when he uses that system is, he considers "10s" to be the best looking women, but he knows he can't have them, so he'll graciously go out with someone he deems "lower". Any guy you date should genuinely be attracted to you, and not rating you on a number scale. What young Hector here is saying is, "I have a chip on my shoulder that there are guys better looking than me. Rather than focus on who I am, I compare myself to other men a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 08:22 PM
135

I pressed charges on someone doing this exact thing to me, except he didn't post it online. The police were ok to me, but it got dropped before court because there were no independent witnesses. I don't know how we're meant to ever stop sexual assault if it can only be prosecuted with independent witnesses, of course 99% of cases happen behind closed doors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:04 PM
37

Ugh, I had a boyfriend take pictures of me undressing without my permission, he thought it was so cute of him and I was a big meanie when I yelled at him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:00 PM
51

I'm 99% sure this isn't a true story, but yet another case of men posting on reddit about their fetishes. His fetish is banging his sister. They get their kicks by talking about the fantasy as if it's real. Others in this series include the man who totally married his sister, and the man who totally got handjobs from his mom while his arms were broken.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:57 PM
2

That's fucking pathetic when there are women out there who were raped as babies and pornhub allowed their abuse to stay up there, and those women are still living, fighting for their rights and behaving with dignity. Imagine being so pathetic that you'd dare to even say you'd kill yourself over pornhub. Also - maybe we could learn something from boomers in this instance. They certainly had sex lives before pornhub without killing themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 11:20 PM
6

What do we learn in the last sentence? That she is making breakfast while he is still lying in bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 07:37 PM
20

When I was coming home from college when I was 21, my abusive dad looked at my suitcases of clothes and said "I can't imagine you NEED all this stuff!" Asshole, I wanted it and I paid for it, the fuck is your problem? Clothes are stupid because women like them, we should have four shirts and two pairs of jeans like you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 07:35 PM
45

Holy cow, I am so sorry this happened to you, what awful friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:22 PM
75

I had the worst case of this yesterday. I used to chat very superficially with a guy on a dating site. Eventually I told him I wasn't interested, goodbye and good luck, but I could see he kept viewing my profile. Like, every day or two for weeks. So eventually I blocked him. As soon as I did that, he created a new profile and looked at my profile again. Weird. I blocked that profile. Within 48 hours, he made another profile and looked at my profile again. I posted on the site feed asking whether…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:20 PM
9

I don't know whether it's emotional immaturity or not, but it's definitely assholery and some lack of intelligence. Intelligent, reasonable people are open to the fact that sometimes they will be wrong, that sometimes you have to pick your battles and sometimes your opinion just isn't important. For example, someone who "tells it like it is" might say, "You look fat in that dress. I'm just being truthful, it's not my fault you're upset." Ok, maybe she does look fat in the dress, but an intellige…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 12:47 PM
4

Part time photography from DJ university? Unemployed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 08:50 PM
8

I don't know why you're getting downvoted for this, it's literally true. Men talk about "oh it's just natural, it's about fertility and spreading muh genes, men are just like that" all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 02:58 PM
1

Then just don't ask for the bag. It isn't worth the worry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:15 PM
17

First, I just want to say you're getting a few bits of weird flak for your height here. 5'1'' is totally fine and doesn't affect your desirability or mean you're doomed to only be attractive to weirdos. Secondly, it's totally normal in any new relationship to ask what turns them on. If you approach it like it's a fun conversation it'll lower his guard. Like if you say to him "So what turns you on? What kind of girls do you like? Do you ever look at porn?" He'll probably start talking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 12:29 PM
70

Exactly. If she was a bad partner, he could easily have left her, but no, she was a good partner, just nothing is enough for cheaters, because they're bottomless voids of selfishness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 12:21 PM
28

They will use you being "too needy" as an excuse for them to cheat. The bottom line is they want to cheat and anything you do or don't do could be used as justification.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 12:16 PM
67

I've been cheated on three times, all by guys I was a very devoted Pickmeisha to. What I notice in common between all of them was that they were bottomless pits of need and self-absorption. They were all bored and semi-depressed in life, but rather than trying to find happiness in themselves, they crammed the void with attention from women, all of whom they treated badly. The whole world just existed to facilitate them being sad and aloof.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 12:14 PM
78

This is amazing! How wonderful. You can see they all feel so much self respect in this picture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 05:43 PM
8

No, we don't. He was supposedly headed for big things, but I don't want to look him up, so idk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:46 PM
11

She's had a nasty thing happen to her, we're trying to help her rather than give her lip for her response. I think your tone is unnecessarily harsh on her, but I'm done talking to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:46 PM
3

Ohhh, no you didn't confuse, I read the title wrong. But yeah, I stand by my points.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:41 PM
11

Her response isn't encouraging him, even he will know that "haha thanks" and changing the topic isn't a ringing endorsement, she is just too uncomfortable to know what to say. She was put on the backfoot and tried to "nice" her way out of it, that's what women are conditioned to do. Hopefully she complains.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:37 PM
30

It got back to me, it was office gossip. Sadly most people still sided with him. Once a man has called you crazy, it's a difficult box to get out of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:22 PM
50

OP, I just wanted to say that no matter how you reacted, you can still complain. "Haha thanks" doesn't sound at all like encouragement, it sounds like "Woah, I'm shocked and don't know what to say." If you complain to your work's HR and just tell them you said thanks because you didn't know what to say, they should still look into this with him, because he's being a fucking creep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:20 PM
32

"I don't blame it for taking a toll on her." ... A really terrifying ex of mine did a similar thing to me. We worked together and he went behind my back telling our colleagues that I was mentally ill so not to let me do certain projects because the stress would harm me. He was trying to sabotage my career.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:12 PM
64

I dislike any of that "I never see the signs that girls are into me" stuff. It reads like "You should do all the work while I ignore you because I'm a man so I'm useless lololol." Also, perhaps he never sees the signs because girls are never into him? He lives in an imaginationland where girls are super into him, he just never realises. Secondly, how do you even look that bad? Most 22 year olds still look almost like kids. I get sometimes guys get full beards early, I get sometimes the hairline …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:10 PM
149

Oh, that is disgusting. He sounds delusional, honestly. He's over the moon? Why, nothing has happened. He's talking like you two have had an interaction when all that's happened is he's seen you and projected some weird shit onto you. Complain immediately. He shouldn't make a move when you get back to work, because he should be fired for this crazy shit before then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:03 PM
17

People will say feminism has gone too far. When 89% of victims of domestic abuse are female? When one in five teenage girls has been hit by her boyfriend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 09:03 PM
10

When I was 16-17, my best friend and I lived by "Why Men Love Bitches". We used to talk about the principles all the time and recommend it to other girls. When we were 18ish, she fell in love with this guy. He gave her herpes. She went to the doctors and it was diagnosed, then she told him she had it, and he said "Yeah I get the rash, it gets worse when I'm stressed." ???????? I hit the roof, but she didn't get angry at him, even though in her words, it made her feel like she'd ruined the rest o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 08:13 PM
11

Yeah. It's weird to me that LVM are obsessed with this idea that we want to trap them with babies - when having a baby, the woman comes off MUCH worse. She goes through actual danger in pregnancy and birth, her body is changed, usually permanently, she is landed with a huge majority of the care and is worse off financially. But all these guys think women are trying to live the high life on their chicken shit child support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 10:13 PM
35

Imagine just casually knowing you only have a chance under "lowered standards" and just kind of living with that, not trying to level up?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 01:06 PM
113

Women on here aren't clamouring to trap guys by having babies, we are trying to avoid THEM trapping US by us having babies so they can proceed to use us for free labour and sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 01:03 PM
9

Poor woman :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 04:05 AM
14

What is happening to her in the after photos? Is he beating her, is she getting into drugs or her mental health being damaged?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 03:38 AM
3

Doing it now and feeling the difference, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 03:36 AM
10

Yeah I'm not advocating attacking her, just saying I don't think this was much of a moment. If/when she kicks him, that'll be a moment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:49 PM
106

Er. I don't even think that's a Queen moment because she's not called him her ex-boyfriend. That one statement of his should be enough to send him packing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:31 PM
3

I love that he's "threatening" to move out. Like, you're 18, fucking move out already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 02:39 PM
37

This exact shit happened to me, except he wrote it in front of me seconds before he gave it to me. And it was a card with two mice that said "You're really mice." We were in our twenties and had been together six months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 02:29 PM
27

Woah, he can't break a girl's heart! He just wants to have sex with two other women behind her back. But he doesn't want to break her heart!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 12:36 PM
3

Can't let your friends down but can let your wife down. Cool, cool...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 12:25 PM
7

interferes with gaming! I know it's a tall order, but I actually refuse to date gamers. It's a hobby that sucks up all their interest and time. I've seen way too many men lose interest in the partners and families over gaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 09:50 PM
15

It's weird to me that everyone sees being a stay at home mom as a luxury. Unless the husband is specifically giving her enough money to pay for her labour, and time off from all her duties, then it's just servitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 09:38 PM
7

Fetishes come from very deep down in us psychologically. They may not be our fault, but they absolutely reveal a lot about a person on a very deep level. If you're disturbed by a kink, it's 100% certain that it reveals some incompatibility between you and them. My story's pretty crazy, but I'll lay it out. The last guy I reeaaaaallllly liked, we were having an amazing time and all loved up. Then he told me about his fetish. It was gaining weight. Specifically, he wanted to be at least 400lbs. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 09:00 PM
67

You can put them outside you know. You can put him outside for a bit while you and the cat snuggle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 08:48 PM
18

The equivalencies there are vile. If a woman "uses her uterus", a man still doesn't have to pick up children's toys off the floor? That's either a man pretending he is his own hot young wife, or a woman who is completely brainwashed. Either way, they are so, so angry at the world around him/her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 08:45 PM
243

This is unfortunately the argument against making birth control methods that are incumbent on men instead of women. They just wouldn't fucking do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 07:17 PM
12

My Dad happens to be an awful man, but he is totally on it as regards cleanliness, cooking, mending clothes, all that stuff. And he was born in the 1940s. He does no BS about that stuff being woman's work or what have you, he just does the normal stuff that you need to be a functional adult. I've no sympathy with any of this "Men just won't learn that stuff" mindset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:22 AM
15

We shouldn't have to train grown men. Your son is different because he's a kid and it's your job to bring him up, but we shouldn't have to train our partners. It's unnecessary labour for us. They are totally capable of cooking and cleaning, they just decide not to. If he knows it makes your life harder and he continues with it, then he's an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:17 AM
1

It's pretty much not worth meeting people OLD in my experience. Worst case I ever had was a guy who said he was 5'8''. and as soon as I clocked eyes on him he was literally no taller than 5'2''. I'm no snob about height, but I want a guy to be taller than me and I'm only 5'4''. If he'd just told the truth we could have both not wasted our time. Add into that the fact that he clearly thought I was too stupid to notice, which made me resent him before we even said hello.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 05:57 PM
63

I'm always sceptical of the claim that girls "mature" faster than boys. I think it's a myth that gets traction from both sides because it gives women a bit of a "teehee, we're on the shit end of unpaid labour and domestic violence, but we totally secretly run the world", and men get to use it to get away with things. I think the maturity that people are pointing to is that girls are less rowdy than boys and have to learn to hide their impulses faster, precisely because if they were to engage in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 05:08 PM
103

I've recently been watching some films that are set in the 1970s and it seems to be totally accepted that college - age guys have girlfriends in highschool. I found that so shocking but it's not even commented upon to them. Edited to add: I don't mean like, she's 18 and he's 19, I mean like, he's 19 and she's 15.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 02:02 PM
8

Good on you! People like that absolutely want you to stay and "explain" yourself forever, so you're always there begging for their approval and they can pretend to be perplexed at why you're always unhappy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:24 AM
12

I've always found that if you need to tell someone you want to be respected, you've already lost the battle. They already don't respect you. Just get outta there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:22 AM
24

Eww, I've had so many guys do the "What music are you into? No way, me too!" thing. And if you meet them OLD, they'll do crap like "What music are you into? Gorillaz, wow I love ...[Googles] Plastic Beach!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:06 AM
16

Haha! It had fresh cream in the middle, the cake was like 80% fresh cream, I think she just ate the cream and left the crust, but of course as soon as I caught her the cake was covered in cat lick, so he couldn't have it, haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 09:38 AM
72

I had a BAD guy at my house once, before I knew he was a bad guy. I served him cake, and he set the plate down, and my cat ate his cake, something she has never done to anyone else. And yeah, she was right about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 01:45 AM
7

He's being an abuser. A child doesn't properly understand what they're doing and they will grow out of it, this guy knows what he is doing, and does it because he wants to hurt her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 11:31 PM
21

The amount of apology and self-blaming in this is harrowing. I see my younger self in it. That poor woman, I hope many people recommended therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 06:06 PM
21

He should cOmUnIcAtE!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 01:47 AM
15

Oh god, I knew a Nick exactly like this. Cringe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 01:40 AM
34

Exactly, it's a phrase designed to point you to say yes. "What do you think?" or "Would that be ok with you?" are phrases where you can tell it's open to discussion. "Sound good?" is like "I have finished this discussion and you can only say yes, if you say no you're creating a big argument and being a bitch."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:16 AM
29

Ugh, I hate "Sound good?" It always means, "I've just told you what I want at length, now I just want you to blindly agree."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:13 AM
15

Being "the main" to a guy like this is not an accolade, nor is it a reflection on you if you find out you're only the side chick. The main will be whoever is most convenient for him: She lives closer / his parents have already met her so he has to pretend they're in a serious relationship / she's more submissive so he knows he gets his way easier with her / she pays for dates / he sees her as dependable because he feels like she's LV and has no better options so she can't leave him. The list goe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 12:23 PM
4

I call myself a bachelor, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 12:09 PM
7

they're likely bottom of the barrel scumbags who just want to grab a quick bang from an unhappy and insecure woman. Yep. I'm glad it's at least shaken up the husband though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 12:08 PM
5

Right? The parents are always receiving huge packages in the mail and they aren't allowed to know what's inside? Yeah, they know it's something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 12:03 PM
3

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 12:01 PM
5

and probably some prison time for "misunderstandings". Oh God, I was lately talking to / emotionally involved with a guy who told me early on that he had a DUI but it was just because he was driving on antidepressants. In retrospect I think he was probably drunk or high, but made up this story to make himself look like the victim. And yeah, he was cheating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 01:14 PM
7

I am so sorry he did this to you. I've been there and I think it's because he always expected other people to fix things for him. He was a bottomless pit of emotional emptiness and boredom, and rather than work to make himself productive and happy, he just tried to cram the void full of attention from multiple women. Further than that, he was spoiled by his mother so I think he felt like women existed to make him feel better, and not that we are people of our own who deserve to be with a partner…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 01:10 PM
4

This was so interesting, thank you! If anyone else wanted to do posts analysing red flags like this, I'd be so there for it. I'll add a couple of points that are nowhere near as developed as yours, OP. 1) When he says "girl with a sense of humour" or "who doesn't take life too seriously" I hear: "girl who is ok with being casual fun for me and won't hold me to account over anything." 2) Be wary of guys who paint their interests very broad. If he says he likes film and music, a naive woman might …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 12:43 PM
6

If you want a circle of HV friends, a HVM as a partner.. you have to be okay with being alone, you have to be able to occupy yourself with interests, hobbies, projects. So true! It takes a lot of work, but I just got there this year and it improves your life 500%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 11:47 AM
64

" PickMe and LVScrote wanna trauma bond over misery and be miserable together, that's why they need to hang on so tight." So true. I come from a TRAUMATIC background, and I used to try and explain myself all the time because I felt like I was always getting everything wrong in social settings so I needed to be like "Sorry it's because of -----". But all it got me was people looking down on and feeling sorry for me, or weirdos seeing my vulnerability and plotting to abuse me. It makes people see …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 11:44 AM
7

The last fuckboy I was with had these tendencies and I hadn't put it together before... Yeah he would eat mac and cheese and pizza and milkshake every day and I found it so weird. He also had that "everything is someone else's fault", expected me to look after him thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 08:42 PM
37

So right. I got abused by a boyfriend when I was about 21, and all the other women around me would say "Pay no attention to him, he's such a child." "Wow, he's really immature." And I was like, no he's an abuser! Saying he's a child kind of implies that he's harmless, he doesn't know what he's doing, and that he will one day learn and get better. No, he's doing this deliberately because he can get away with it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 02:01 PM
61

The channel calls this "Lovesick" and not "sociopath". Hmm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 01:55 PM
12

What... was he doing with it? Did he have constant diarrhoea or something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 01:38 PM
27

It freaks me out that they don't clean the tip after peeing actually. Then they'll expect you to lick it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 01:19 PM
7

I wish when I was younger (maybe aged up to about 22) I didn't chase any guy who complimented me. I confused "he's nice" and "he's temporarily being nice to me so he can fuck me and dump me like a jizz rag". Now when anyone tells me I'm beautiful and we're not dating, I see that as kind of an awkward and overly-personal thing to say. Like, not if it's a friend saying "You look beautiful in this picture", but if a man or even woman just says it to me out of nowhere, I view that as them trying to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 05:32 PM
12

I did this recently. The girl saw the message, then didn't speak to me. Honestly I'm ok with not speaking to her, because I don't need the emotional toil on myself of taking care of HIS behaviour. But they're still "in a relationship" on Facebook. She has a young kid too. So sad. But some people aren't ready to look for better for themselves, they'd rather have something to cling on to, even if it's shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 05:24 PM
11

To me it looks feminine, which I don't like, but I don't seriously mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 10:04 PM
10

Although I'm sorry this happened to you, it is great to read this. I've been the woman thinking "Why are all these men leaving me and getting with women who appear to have less going on than I have?" I'm concluding more and more that these men secretly know they're crappy and want a woman who in their mind has no better options (though living without them is a better option). I recently found out I was the side chick, and the official gf is a single mom in her early-mid 20s. For some reason that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 10:01 PM
30

I had a breakthrough a few weeks ago. I grew up in an abusive family with two massive textbook-case narc parents. In my adult life I've had several friendships and relationships with covert narcissists (the ones who aren't always talking about how great they are, they'll actually have a front of humility and everyone who knows them will talk about how sweet they are). I've spent years thinking I was so stupid for falling for the initial phase of them being lovely time and time again, thinking th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 09:47 PM
14

Why do people even bother taking the wedding vows, if you're going to bounce when your partner gets sick?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 12:20 PM
56

Any guy on dating sites who tells me he "Prefers a cosy night in", I read that as a euphemism for "I won't take you on dates, I'll plough you badly on the couch." "Grab a coffee" is a weird one too - women have to make a LOT of effort to look good on a first date, I'm not spending two hours getting myself together to spend twenty minutes in a coffee shop where we can't hear each other over the noise. It's low-effort. It's like "I want to give the impression that we're dating so I can keep you ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 04:08 PM
5

Even as an uncle, that should be grounds for never seeing his nieces or nephews again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 11:51 AM
7

"women from a young age use their sex appeal to manipulate their parents."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 12:00 AM
18

Oh this is the best!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 11:55 PM
44

I was just thinking "Awww, he's good" then I thought: woah, that should be our minimal expectation, that you don't leave your wife when she gets an injury, or has something else that affects her appearance, like age or pregnancy. We need to level up how seriously we take our wedding vows in this day and age, it boggles the mind that people can say "In sickness and health, til death do us part" and then be like, "But my wife got burned so nah."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 03:28 PM
18

However my mom is 'too nice' and thinks 'oh that guy (LVM) seems like a really nice guy, you should give him a chance'... which led me to some shitty relationships. My mum is always like this and it fucked me up so badly when I was young, it's basically a nice way of phrasing "You should let him sleep with you because you owe him the benefit of the doubt because he is more important than you."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 01:02 AM
24

I absolutely hate that number ranking system. I find things attractive in men that most other people wouldn't, there is no universal beauty. Even people like say, Johnny Depp who I might think were totally conventionally attractive, that doesn't mean I am attracted to him, so the number system is useless. On the other hand, I think men have an easier time than women because attractive men are so rare, whereas most young women are good looking. So the men have a lower standard to meet to be consi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 10:23 PM
7

Woah woah woah woah woah. 1) He contacted you during quarantine, when we know all the thirsty LVMs are sliding into our DMs 2) He obsessively remembered you like that from a year before? He memorised what you were wearing? That isn't romantic, it's creepy and you have already been in his mental wank bank for a year 3) You told him no, twice, he violated your boundaries by coming back TWICE. This is a sure fire way to know he doesn't take your opinion seriously and he doesn't care about doing thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 11:03 AM
14

This guy is 100% my least favourite look in guys, the kind that makes me dislike them as a person without speaking to them. I've never met a guy who looked like this who wasn't sub-mediocre, entitled and insecure. - Middle of the face is bigger than forehead or jaw - Big nose / thin lips / no jawline - No effort at hair style - Not shaved and not enough to be a deliberate beard, just not bothered to shave
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 10:52 AM
6

I never said you couldn't have kids with it, I don't know about that aspect at all. Just I knew someone for many years with it and it was always a worry that he would die young, so it's pathetic for the guy in the post to fantasize that he has it to further his idea that he's tall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 01:41 AM
4

I do know, where did I say I didn't know? It is not at all my fault for saying something commonly known about a serious illness
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 01:37 AM
29

Any guy who does that smug side-eye face is always a no-go for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 11:14 PM
17

And it's so easy to die in your 40s - 50s with it, what a pathetic fantasy to have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 11:13 PM
30

Not that it's a competition, but... I have this beat. I was talking to a guy who lied about his weight. Not to make himself lighter, no: tried to tell me he was 5'11 and 240lbs. He was visibly on the slim side of average, but when I questioned him he would just say he was tall with a thin face. I was baffled. I gave his photo to a friend of mine who's a nurse and said, "That man is not 240lbs right?" She said he wasn't. Then he started to tell me he was gaining weight. He'd be like "Omg, I just …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 11:11 PM
3

You're just teaching him to hide his cheating better. You just gave him a head's up about how easy it is to catch his lies. He's going to go clean up his shit and be back and better at cheating. The next girl he fucks over will have a harder time catching his lies because you taught him where he fucked up. Also, just fyi, this comes across really victim blamey. I got hurt, I stood up for myself. Maybe it's not what you would have done, but that's ok. It's not my fault if he cheats again and wors…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 07:25 PM
10

I feel like you really have to try to be so low effort and inconsiderate unreliable and flakey inconsistent.. like it’s easier to just be normal. Are you with me here? I think they are trying? I'm not 100% sure, but I think while they have the surface appearance of "just don't care enough to even remember to text back", at some level they are deliberately thinking "How long can I push this, how much will she put up with?" it makes them feel powerful if you'll still come running if they've ignore…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 06:26 PM
29

I think it's definitely getting worse. A few decades ago it would be the norm to assume women were saving sex for marriage, then by degrees it's become more common to have sex in casual relationships and now it's basically 'there's something wrong with you' if you don't want sex. I also think a lot of guys can't understand that you might want to date generally (hence being on OLD) but that doesn't mean you want to date THEM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 04:51 PM
31

I think a big problem with OLD is they assume you're definitely up for sex, so why work for it? If you meet a guy IRL, you can keep it mysterious about whether you're even in the mood for dating, whether you're attached, you're married to your work or whatever. When you're on OLD, men are like "Aha, she wants it, this fish is jumping right into the net." That might not be how we as women see OLD, and I'm not saying we shouldn't do it, but it does take away a big part of our mystery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 04:38 PM
33

I've done this XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 04:33 PM
8

I need to save this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 04:32 PM
9

Yeah this is what I feel. I actually feel like I *can't* stop myself feeling how I feel, but I can make my feelings to myself take priority over my feelings to him. Several times I've been totally in love, but gone "He isn't showing me enough respect, I'm gone".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 11:41 AM
8

this so-called “sexual empowerment“ is really just catering to men and their sick fetishes. The truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 08:14 PM
93

If he was "doing a joke" to "see how they would react", he 100% was doing that pervy "I'm joking but I'm not really joking face" that made them feel disgusted. It's not like they're disgusted inherently because he's 40, insecure perverts are unattractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:40 PM
7

I love that people try to threaten women with the "You'll end up alone with a cat/dog". I'm like, "I'm in my 20s and I CHOOSE to live alone with a cat, how is that a threat?" Like you'll turn 40 and wake up with an unwanted pet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 01:10 PM
2

This is my plan so far as well. Like I said in another comment, I am worried about him getting nasty with me if I send screenshots because then he'll know it was me, but I've not really done anything that I'm so, so ashamed of. If my flirty texts got sent to people I know, I'd be embarrassed, but I'm single and self employed so it wouldn't ruin my life. He's sent me worse, and he's in a relationship and works for a school. This could be awful for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 09:22 PM
3

You're just teaching him to hide his cheating better. You just gave him a head's up about how easy it is to catch his lies. He's going to go clean up his shit and be back and better at cheating. The next girl he fucks over will have a harder time catching his lies because you taught him where he fucked up. He doesn't actually know how I found her. I'd checked him out on FB before and he seemed genuine - he had his relationship status hidden. I found accidentally because she had liked his profile…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 09:11 PM
26

Oh gosh, you're right. Shit, the poor girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:35 PM
8

Yes. I experience a lot of peer pressure like "He's so good to you, why won't you let him near you, you need to let people in." I definitely need to get better at ignoring that :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:16 PM
2

Thanks for your insight. Would you be able to tell me what in his behaviour points to it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 12:02 AM
3

He's very obviously a drug addict. WAT. I am actually shocked there, I had never even considered that. Do you mind letting me know what makes you think that? I'm not saying you're wrong, you might well be right, I just would appreciate being able to see what you're seeing here. Yeah, unfortunately I grew up with addicts in the house so I might be a good "fit" for them - I am in therapy for this and have a specific counsellor for getting out of the cycle with abusive men. It was a couple of days …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:28 PM
5

Woah. The things you're listing as improvements are very, very minimal requirements in most relationships. He's stopped asking you for money? He's bought you a birthday present? Those are not points in his favour, those are things that anyone should be doing to maintain their relationship. I absolutely think you should cut and run. It will hurt, but not as much as spending another 9 years with him. Can you actually see yourself being 36 and in this same situation?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 08:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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