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chips_and_hummus Archive

View 0 posts and 344 comments by chips_and_hummus on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

if you don’t think you’re worthy of beautiful women then you might not be i’m way more confident and “deserving” of beautiful women than i was 10 years ago i improved many aspects of my life, and both my value and confidence have increased dramatically you can certainly do that too also there’s plenty of cute and very attractive women that aren’t pure 10s, if you only think sleeping with 10s is “success” then yeah you’re gonna have a bad time. doesn’t mean you need to sleep with 6s. there’s mill…
/r/seduction28/07/26 02:11 AM
6

truly terrible advice and conclusion, impressive work
/r/seduction16/07/26 09:10 PM
6

whatever the fuck you want
/r/seduction16/07/26 08:33 PM
13

tinder is a shit hole, hinge is 100x better (if you have your shit together, nothing is free)
/r/seduction13/07/26 06:14 PM
93

if you’re of age then a bottle of wine is a good option other than that no, and it’s not necessary if she doesn’t drink
/r/seduction07/07/26 09:30 PM
7

then your tone, appearance, style, confidence, and/or general charisma is lacking, so no ones biting. having better words won't move the needle for you if none of what this guy said works for you, because the words are not the issue what this guy wrote works great for finding people who would be interested. i would improve the other aspects of yourself i mentioned above over finding a "better" opening line
/r/seduction24/06/26 09:20 PM
10

higher competition = lower chances they have exponentially more options, and on average more of those options are attractive men can an average guy pull a beautiful woman sometimes? sure. will it be harder? nearly all the time yes. if you have game, confidence, and all the things that make you attractive then you improve your chances but again, all things equal, they have more options for you to compete with which inarguably reduces your individual chances of being chosen this is also why volume…
/r/seduction15/06/26 07:54 PM
1

If you’ve reiterated and she agrees then just have fun. FWB doesn’t always mean you just fuck and never act like we like each other. If that’s what you want you can consider that a specific type of FWB situation. There are different “types” in that sense. You either get over it and enjoy the ride, or back out yourself. Or tell her to stop but realize she might back out as a result because you’re not fun to her. You can act like bf/gf and still be under the understanding that it’s short term. I u…
/r/seduction28/05/26 06:33 PM
2

100 percent that’s why it’s more likely OP is missing one or several key parts of game/attraction
/r/seduction25/05/26 08:38 PM
14

do not project this single persons experience onto nyc dating as a whole. we don’t know anything about how this guys profile is, how he talks to women, how attractive he is physically and/or personality, etc. i’m not saying this guy isn’t attractive but imo if you’re attractive (and i don’t mean 9+ looks i mean everything that goes into being “attractive”), then nyc should be awesome for dating. whenever i travel there the number of high quality matches i get online is insane compared to where i…
/r/seduction25/05/26 06:32 PM
1

i don’t even agree with that but in any case what does that have to do with anything i’m saying?? who cares if the difficulty in different attractiveness levels isn’t 1:1?? the concept is still exactly the same. the more attractive either gender is the more options they have and the less they’ll sleep with someone below them. that’s a fact and not even remotely controversial. you do not regularly see 9 men sleeping with 6 women.
/r/seduction24/05/26 02:48 PM
2

zero clue what random points you’re trying to make but i’m quite confident they’re entirely irrelevant to what i’m saying
/r/seduction23/05/26 07:20 PM
4

Nope I never said that. If I was you I’d start with the bad attitude. I gave a long and non-comprehensive list of things that can lead to attraction. The more you have or the better you are at any given one will increase your attractiveness. You don’t need all of them to be successful, you will simply be more successful the more you have. And also, your perspective is extra narrow because instead of being told there’s this one specific thing you need and nothing else works, you get to choose fro…
/r/seduction22/05/26 07:55 PM
8

no one’s every going to argue that more attractive girls are more difficult to sleep with than less attractive girls duh! it’s the same for dudes. a 6 girl trying to sleep with a 9 guy is going to have a hard time. the more attractive anyone is, man or woman, the more options they have and competition is harder. that’s how it works.
/r/seduction22/05/26 03:46 PM
0

the things i described are way more influential (and ultimately can be related back to evolutionary selection reasons anyways if you’re so obsessed with that lens)
/r/seduction22/05/26 12:58 AM
15

yeah id get no satisfaction from sleeping down. i like to punch above my weight. while increasing my weight.
/r/seduction21/05/26 11:24 PM
1

wrong. yes, super hot guys have easy mode on. everyone else can absolutely improve their “level” based on where they are at meaning, a guy who’s a 7 in looks with shit personality, no game, and basically sucks as a person won’t get any action another guy who’s a 7 who has style, charisma, social proof, game, and other areas of improvement on point can pull 8’s and 9’s this concept applies at any given looks level
/r/seduction21/05/26 11:20 PM
68

you can be more successful without lowering your standards by improving yourself/your game naturally everything is easier the more you lower standards both are true personally i’m against lowering standards, i wouldn’t make that my primary advice. but to each their own.
/r/seduction21/05/26 11:18 PM
104

when you have all your shit together it’s a lot easier having a career = money, improve looks via style and working out, have a social circle for social proof, have charisma, confidence, be funny, have banter, know how to flirt and show interest while also not being needy or desperate, knowing how to lead interactions/dates with a plan, being good at kino/sex, being good at communication, having passions and hobbies that are interesting also in general understanding women which also comes from e…
/r/seduction21/05/26 10:20 PM
10

High value/High attraction are the same. Things that make you desirable. Looks Personality/Behavior/Charisma (ex: funny, confident, genuine, non-needy, kind, respectful, not a pushover, emotional intelligence, etc) Social Circle/Status (people know you and or like you, especially girls. meaning if a girl sees that other girls hang out with you, platonically or otherwise, that helps screen that you’re cool/not a creep) Money you don’t need all of these but the more you have the better. those buck…
/r/seduction15/05/26 11:43 PM
42

Be high value. Can’t get attractive women if you’re not attractive. That doesn’t only mean physically. For me it’s hard/clubs because i like to dance and girls vibe that energy. When it’s easy it’s easy, but every night is not easy. It’s a numbers game of finding a girl you’re attracted to, that’s attracted to you back, that also wants the same thing.
/r/seduction15/05/26 07:25 PM
3

i don’t really cold approach but obviously the answer is yes 1) more experience in understanding tone/body language to determine her level of interest, which informs how much more you should invest in the girl/interaction 2) more experience in handling rejection and being less bothered by it both of these carry over to warm approach it’s not that deep though, cold approach if you want. if you don’t want to then don’t.
/r/seduction12/05/26 11:12 PM
1

do warm approach. chat to girls who make eye contact with you multiple times. anyone not doin so is DEFINITELY missing opportunities and if you want more girls to make eye contact with you, as is always recommended with seduction, improve yourself style, looks, body language, charisma, social circle, etc
/r/seduction08/05/26 06:33 PM
122

you didn’t get ghosted “she isn’t clear about what she wants” she said she’s “busy as heck the next 10 days” then during that 10 days you’re blowing her up while she’s trying to study, coming off desperate and needy, so she leaves you on read and you freak out blaming her you played the whole thing pretty shit, should have been chill until she was free again after her tests
/r/seduction01/05/26 01:12 AM
1

Depends. What’s your issue? Are you scared of rejection? Or are you scared of risking making women uncomfortable? Something else?
/r/seduction28/04/26 11:24 PM
3

You should not blanket trust/not trust an entire group of people, whether that be gender-based or otherwise. Some women are trustworthy and some are not. Same with men. You should learn how to give some baseline level of trust to people until it’s broken, and then build deeper trust over time that is earned. It should be treated on an individual basis.
/r/seduction23/04/26 02:42 PM
1

Let me be extremely clear for you The car you drive does not have a huge impact on attraction in 95% of cases The other 5% are extremes and outliers. Either you have a super janky car, very unattractive. A super nice car, attractive. Or a girl who cares a huge amount about the car you drive (rare if you’re not in an influencer city). Can it help you or hurt you? Yes. Is your average, non-janky car holding you back from getting laid in almost every normal situation? No. No. and No again.
/r/seduction04/02/26 05:47 PM
1

single biggest thing: find one that plays music you like or can at least get into then you focus on the music and enjoying the vibes if you hate the music being played you’ll be miserable and it will be obvious in your energy.
/r/seduction25/01/26 04:41 AM
3

yes you can but you then need to gauge her reaction and change based on it. sometimes you open that and you get a really warm response. others they didn’t actually want you to start a full on conversation. just notice that and move on if they aren’t into it, don’t force it or waste your time.
/r/seduction08/01/26 06:03 AM
1

He is very obviously not saying that.
/r/seduction08/01/26 12:52 AM
2

Disagree. It’s basic social skills to be able to read body language and non-verbal behavior. You’re basically saying “don’t look for signals, just do whatever regardless”. Which, sure, I guess you can do that. It’s certainly going to get you farther than doing nothing. But if you want to get better at game learning to read behavior is far more beneficial.
/r/seduction08/01/26 12:51 AM
5

she doesn’t want to define her relationship with you because she doesn’t know what she’s doing with her ex yet. your best move depends on what you’re comfortable with and looking for. if you’re not looking for a big emotional commitment, then you chill out a bit. still flirt with her, play the tension, HAVE FUN, keep her as an option, and escalate in moments where it feels reciprocated and right. DO NOT ASK HER TO DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP as that will likely push her away or have her say it’s bet…
/r/seduction06/01/26 02:52 AM
3

no it’s not. insane take.
/r/seduction31/12/25 02:44 PM
12

wow what a terrible saying on multiple levels. bravo.
/r/seduction31/12/25 04:42 AM
7

you won’t have chemistry with everyone. just because someone doesn’t want you doesn’t mean you did something wrong. for most of the women i reject, there’s nothing they could “fix”. i simply wasn’t feeling them for various reasons that aren’t necessarily things they should change about themselves.
/r/seduction22/12/25 03:13 AM
5

aggressively insufferable
/r/seduction12/12/25 06:21 PM
13

you’re faking things to maximize results and it’s both not genuine and not fun what you should do is take a breath and be more genuine, less fake, and have more fun with the game. you’ve made it too game-y you won’t be nearly as exhausted if you relax a bit and enjoy getting to know new people
/r/seduction11/12/25 11:44 PM
10

actively close the gap between you physically, slowly getting closer as the night goes on or at various moments and see how she responds. if she does things to create more space between you like scooting back or anything similar, then take that as a sign of less interest. if she stays close as you come close or even gets closer then that’s a big green flag. same with light touch. gently touch her lower back when she walks through the door you opened, and nudge her legs/shoulders when walking/sit…
/r/seduction06/12/25 03:15 AM
58

the spectrum between undesirable women and rich models is hilariously enormous
/r/seduction28/11/25 05:29 PM
366

right, if you define success as getting with any woman wrong, if you define success as getting with the women you want to
/r/seduction28/11/25 02:07 PM
1

not sure what you mean by underestimating the idea of casual sex but while missed opportunities do feel bad, the fact that you’re able to create opportunities to begin with is huge in itself. it means there will be more. yes you can get better sure but also everyone who’s getting laid is missing opportunities all the time, they just miss less but it still happens. perfect game doesn’t really exist. just learn, try new stuff, and get better. recognize that you’ll never get to a point where you ne…
/r/seduction25/11/25 03:19 AM
1

you shouldn’t generalize to “girls” too much. certain girls are more comfortable with escalating quickly and others aren’t. it’s better to recognize this, respect it, and play both sides, adjusting to what the specific girl is comfortable with based on her behavior and what she’s saying. there’s no right or wrong. don’t apply one single blueprint to every girl. be adaptable, which comes with understanding different girls want different things, and that’s perfectly normal and ok. don’t force your…
/r/seduction25/11/25 02:11 AM
1

you can offer going back to your place for another drink/listen to some artist yal talked about/any made up feasible reason that gives her comfort to say yes without having to directly acknowledging she wants to hook up. if she backs off at that point bc it’s too quick then you can be chill and offer the coffee date. offering to go back to your place when you’re naturally vibing and feeling each other will not hurt you. if she says no, then it’s only your reaction that can hurt you. you need to …
/r/seduction24/11/25 09:55 PM
10

saying something that could be seen as flirty but is not overtly pressure-y. like “oh wow you look really good tonight” while holding eye contact. or standing closer to her while yal are out and gently touching her. it’s like you couuuld be doing that as a friend so she can’t really freak out at you, and if she’s into you she will flirt back. the key is to test the waters and be ok if she doesn’t respond positively. if she doesn’t respond positively you stop escalating you don’t keep pushing it.
/r/seduction21/11/25 06:30 PM
4

lately concerts or clubs near me, i do warm approach over cold approach bc it gives me a lot more confidence. meaning i approach those who give positive signals like eye contact, moving to the area im dancing in and standing near me, go out of their way to make small talk, etc.
/r/seduction17/11/25 06:24 PM
0

go for warm approach not cold approach then. i don’t like cold approach much bc of the same thoughts. i’m not saying cold approach doesn’t yield success as well, but for me, i feel much more comfortable and confident chatting up a stranger who’s given some signals of interest like eye contact, smile, hovering nearby, etc.
/r/seduction14/11/25 05:59 AM
0

watch porn with guys who are very good at it owen grey and james dean for example eventually you’ll start to recognize patterns in what they do that turns women on, largely related to dominance, control, focus on the woman, etc.
/r/seduction06/11/25 03:32 PM
3

I say the same thing to people i don’t want to see again. It’s not even a cop out it’s just facts. You go on dates with some people and there’s a genuine connection in your energy, attitude, etc. Some dates you don’t have that. It doesn’t always mean the other person did anything wrong. Maybe they did. But maybe they didn’t and two people just don’t connect. It’s perfectly reasonable to not go in depth and explain. I would never go in depth and explain to a woman I was rejecting. Firstly because…
/r/seduction23/10/25 03:41 AM
1

you’ve spent far more time asking people if it’s recoverable than it will take to get the definitive answer yourself, by simply asking her out again. it’s that simple. she’s either going to say yes or no and you’ll have your answer.
/r/seduction22/10/25 01:11 AM
1

that’s not the analogy. the goalposts keep moving. the point is neither women NOR men will or should stick with a partner who isn’t contributing to the relationship. and the fact that a woman OR man would walk away from such a partner is NOT proof that “genuine love” doesn’t exist. it’s insane to think that if a woman won’t stay with a man through ANYTHING then love isn’t real.
/r/seduction12/10/25 08:37 PM
1

women do not always marry up. how many women are abused by their trash, low status husbands? plenty of men marry up as well. your worldview is fucked
/r/seduction12/10/25 04:03 PM
1

unconditional love is not the same as genuine love unconditional love is ridiculous. i wouldn’t support my partner if they just decided “hey im not gonna do shit anymore to support this relationship and also i’m gonna treat you like shit”. you expect someone to love you if you treat them like shit, bc it’s “unconditional”? dude what the fuck are you smoking.
/r/seduction12/10/25 04:01 PM
3

so if your partner won’t stay with you if you decide all you’re going to do every day is sit on your ass and do nothing, they don’t genuinely love you. what an absolutely ridiculous point of view to hold
/r/seduction12/10/25 02:29 PM
11

this is the actual truth. OP is close-ish but inherently misattributing the wrong trait as the driver of successful. i’m inherently not an asshole. i still pull without being one. but i am confident and dominant which is what they actually like. you’re spot on that confident and dominant also often coexist in assholes personalities, which is why people get it switched up.
/r/seduction11/10/25 05:28 PM
-4

come on man we need examples of teasing/banter? it’s what you do with a sibling or close friend of the same sex. just give them a hard time in a fun way with a smile.
/r/seduction10/10/25 10:12 PM
4

it’s both physical and emotional chemistry it is not just how good looking you are and how you tease them. you thinking that’s all it is is a red flag to be blunt, you’re quite far off from what genuine connections are
/r/seduction20/08/25 07:19 PM
5

it’s just a generic rejection. could be a million different things. sometimes when you didn’t even make a mistake. sometimes the connection and chemistry simply doesn’t exist between you two. it’s impossible for us to know if you made a mistake or if it was a natural rejection based on the info you provided. i say something similar when rejecting women. what am i going to say? “sorry i don’t find you attractive”? No i would never say that to someone’s face that’s rude as hell. so you gently reje…
/r/seduction15/08/25 03:55 AM
7

Yeah bro i’m not writing a “how to not care about rejection” dissertation to every post here. I only needed to tell him that he can’t get hot girls without facing rejection. He can do the rest by looking around the sub.
/r/seduction13/08/25 10:58 PM
162

“I want hot girls but I don’t want to deal with rejection” News flash buddy, if you can’t handle some rejection then you don’t deserve the hot girls. Suck it up and be a man if you want the hot ones. No one pulls hot girls without rejection along the way. You’re rejecting less desirable girls on your side anyways. That’s how the game works.
/r/seduction13/08/25 08:46 PM
30

Ask them out on a date faster. Sounds like you’re chatting way too much before asking them out and they find someone else of interest by the time you ask them out. If you’ve matched on a dating app and they give you the time of day to send multiple messages, just ask them out. You don’t need to talk for days. Even if 20% of them are put off by you asking earlier than they would like, you’ll still get the 80%. There’s no option that gets 100% of everyone. So pick the option that gets the most res…
/r/seduction31/07/25 04:33 PM
5

context matters. if i’m driving and picking her up im not getting out of the car to go open it. if we are walking back to the car from the restaurant/bar/whatever then i’ll walk to her side first and casually open it for her. if her her uber pulls up right next to us, i’ll open the door for her. if her uber pulls up across the street im not crossing the whole street just to open the door. outside of cars, you should pretty much always open regular doors you walk through together when you’re side…
/r/seduction29/07/25 05:06 AM
1

Adjusting to her working late and stuff like that, particularly with an actual girlfriend not a random date, is not being a “nice guy” in the negative sense. Is she fairly obviously interested and invested in you? Do you have physical touch already? If yes then there’s nothing to change in terms of trying to “get her to chase”. That’s a slippery slope to some toxic traits. Wanting to increase sexual tension is fine though. Just be close to her often and have physical touch. More deep eye contact…
/r/seduction23/07/25 10:13 PM
2

there’s no place in the world where everyone is looking to connect in the same way you are. it’s the same everywhere, chat to someone, if they’re vibing then keep it going, if they’re uninterested then move on. it’s not that deep.
/r/seduction22/07/25 07:46 PM
4

walk in the park/around the city, bookstores, coffee shops, climbing gyms, farmers markets, beer gardens, outdoor patios, etc. just ask chatgpt if you can’t answer where to go outside lol.
/r/seduction22/07/25 07:15 PM
2

1) put some level of effort into upgrading your photos over time. doesn’t have to be some huge priority but every month or two try to get a good picture take and think about replacing your weakest photo with a better one. over time your profile should naturally get better 2) use hinge and be funny/witty with opening comments. do not ever just like a photo. you need to stand out and it sets the tone. make her laugh and your profile becomes 10x more interesting. even if you can’t think of somethin…
/r/seduction15/07/25 04:02 AM
22

Say cool have a good day and move on twice as fast as he did. It’s not that deep.
/r/seduction12/07/25 09:44 PM
4

don’t have your personal sense of value and self-worth be tied to whether a random stranger chooses to interact with you or not
/r/seduction10/07/25 10:17 PM
1

Slowly get closer to her during conversation. Strong eye contact. Look at her lips and her eyes back and forth. Slow down the conversation. Somewhere in this moment if you’re close to her and she doesn’t pull away or look away, she wants you to go for it.
/r/seduction04/07/25 03:54 PM
2

clear interest but non-needy is better
/r/seduction02/07/25 05:26 AM
5

Always always try to sit at the bar/counter when doing anything with food/drinks When opening the door for her let her go in front of you and gently touch her lower back guiding her in (tiny bit better when leaving versus when you first meet and don’t have chemistry yet) Solid hug when you first meet, go for front on not side hug, unless she’s clearly going for side hug When bantering and being flirty gently “slap” (not really slap but you know like when you’re messing with your bro) on her shou…
/r/seduction01/07/25 06:43 PM
2

Spark is a strong emotional reaction/connection. It’s not fake at all. Has nothing to do with women. I don’t have a spark with plenty of women I go on dates with. Totally normal. Spark/chemistry/connection all the same thing. Your attitude is off putting.
/r/seduction26/06/25 04:54 PM
39

definitely a good flirty line. “on a scale of 1 to 10” would be a better version of this. suggesting a woman is “desperate” in any way is going to be a bit off-putting, even if you didn’t mean it that way.
/r/seduction26/06/25 03:14 AM
1

consider it refuted
/r/seduction25/06/25 08:36 PM
1

I already gave you examples
/r/seduction24/06/25 03:05 AM
1

You’re consuming terrible content and projecting it onto all matters of game and charisma. You’re supposed to be having fun constantly.
/r/seduction24/06/25 01:16 AM
12

insulting is rude. banter is fun. there is a difference. flirting examples without banter/teasing: -commenting on how good she looks in an outfit -she does some small meaningless gesture, “wow you must really like me” -ask her what her type is and joke that she’s basically describing you -ask her about her love languages and discuss, this is naturally a flirty topic. ex: she says she likes words of affirmation, “oh so i should just gas you up all the time? i can manage that” there are also plent…
/r/seduction24/06/25 12:08 AM
6

literally just look it up? did we lose the blood to our actual brain?
/r/seduction14/06/25 01:26 AM
3

The most put together people who are the most willing to actually meet up from online dating are on Hinge. /end
/r/seduction11/06/25 03:53 PM
1

Its very weird to think that girls who you've never interacted with before will definitively be into you or not into you before getting to know one another in any capacity. How are you unsure that people need to interact with you before deciding they are into you or not?
/r/seduction08/06/25 04:16 PM
2

Eh yes and no. You’ve still got it a bit too binary into “want/not want” The reality is closer to: some girls highly interested up front - easy many girls neutral, could be pulled - medium some girls not remotely interested no matter what - impossible You can only go for the easy ones if you want, but the population is a lot smaller. Game is mostly about closing the easy slam dunks, but also winning over the neutral mediums
/r/seduction08/06/25 03:02 PM
6

Yes, body language genuinely changes perception No, that doesn’t mean you can easily get the most attractive woman in the club Doesn’t mean you can’t pull attractive women
/r/seduction08/06/25 02:56 PM
4

Todd V concepts work for me. Show value, escalate. I’m gonna keep it real, sounds like lack of success is a personal issue, not a “picking the wrong materials” issue. Likely doing something wrong in the process
/r/seduction08/06/25 02:53 PM
4

people really need to understand that “neg” and “push-pull” is just a way of saying be playful, teasing, and have banter
/r/seduction03/06/25 04:16 PM
17

improve aspects of your life outside of women to the point they bring you genuine joy
/r/seduction03/06/25 02:51 PM
5

That’s not normal for most people. It’s like someone dancing silly on the dance floor. Most people are too afraid to dance. If I notice someone dancing funny, there might be a brief moment of laughing, followed quickly by “mad respect to him for sending it with no fucks given”. It’s way more attractive and cool to put yourself out there, and that’s what people remember. In my opinion you’ve created a problem that essentially isn’t real. At best it’s a small blip on peoples radar. You’ve spent mo…
/r/seduction02/06/25 06:30 PM
7

How many times when you’re out do you A) notice and B) continue to think on for more than 10 seconds, someone who obviously hit on a woman and got rejected I’d bet anything it barely registers on your radar. Maybe you do notice it every now and then but immediately your attention shifts to whatever else. That’s what’s happening with everyone else. No one’s noticing you or staring at you or thinking about you in the club, everyone’s in their own world.
/r/seduction02/06/25 02:54 PM
1

How you think isn’t necessarily how you speak though. I learned game in a more “analytical” way compared to naturally high charismatic friends, but I don’t present or behave hyper analytically in my interactions. But understanding the “framework” of interactions and what attracts women from an “analytical” POV was massively beneficial for me. For example, learning about leading interactions, showing value, physical escalation levels, pacing, push-pull, etc etc. While I ultimately agree with your…
/r/seduction02/06/25 02:52 PM
5

make it quick “hey i was thinking we could go to A or B, both sound fun to me, do you have a preference?” if she says she doesn’t care you decide and move on
/r/seduction31/05/25 06:02 AM
1

There is no normal because the variance in quality profiles is huge. Trying to reduce it to a single expectation is futile. This is near certain though: Getting likes is not particularly common, and not the main source of matches Most matches come from you giving a like and a girl matching you The takeaway is do not sit around waiting for likes, they will barely come through 99% of my dates are from me sending the like with a funny message Also, those 8 people you sent likes to are not opening t…
/r/seduction30/05/25 07:18 PM
21

Test to see how you react, plenty of guys change their behavior if they think they won’t get laid, so it weeds them out. Girls don’t want to sleep with someone desperate or who’s expecting things, so the appropriate response is to not react in any way like that Also they don’t want you to see them as easy/slutty, so also respond in a way that makes it clear you wouldn’t see them that way if it happened, that it’s not that big of a deal if it happens or not, you’ll see them the same way.
/r/seduction29/05/25 11:27 PM
1

lots of men are also toxic and frustrating lots of men and women are also not toxic and frustrating the solution is to not project the worst experience possible onto every man/woman, which is what the super toxic and unsuccessful incels do people are individuals and generalizing too broadly (men or women) is inaccurate, unproductive, and a scapegoat
/r/seduction27/05/25 11:41 PM
1

I completely disagree, time and place works wonders for me. Do you tho
/r/seduction26/05/25 09:15 PM
2

You’re being pretty needy but she doesn’t appear too put off by it yet. Give her some room to breathe. Don’t be so desperate and just wait til you’re back. A week before you go back message her asking her out to redeem that first round.
/r/seduction26/05/25 05:52 PM
1

Disagree, and it works for me
/r/seduction26/05/25 04:35 PM
10

Gold post. Fantastic advice. My only disagreement is that in my opinion and experience, proposing the date with a specific time and place is more successful on average than the more vague "we should get together sometime soon". Generally you will be perceived as more attractive by leading the interaction entirely with specific time/place. Lots of other guys aren't doing a good job of taking the lead, so this sets you apart and makes it clear you've done this before and know how to lead.
/r/seduction26/05/25 01:02 AM
2

Do you have a compelling enough personality and life that hot girls who have tons of options would consider spending time with you?
/r/seduction25/05/25 01:40 AM
3

Oh I’ve already had this convo with you. Carry on lol.
/r/seduction24/05/25 06:37 PM
10

Disagree. Never is too strong of a word. Sure if you’re a beginner don’t do dinner, bc you likely don’t know how to capitalize anyways so you’re more likely to waste the money. But there are situations where dinner works. For example, you’re both foodie-type people who enjoy trying new restaurants, and a cool new spot opened that you want to check out. I’m happy to send it in that case. A) I’ll have wanted to go there anyways B) It shows I know what’s going on with new openings in the city and h…
/r/seduction24/05/25 06:34 PM
5

Change your perspective. Since other guys are not leading interactions as often with time and place, it’s your opportunity to show attractive qualities and elevate yourself by taking the lead.
/r/seduction23/05/25 04:35 PM
7

You’re not leading the interaction enough. Asking her when/where is a mistake. You pick the time and place. Asking the woman to choose 9/10 times fails. Your voice note is also very needy behavior.
/r/seduction23/05/25 04:00 PM
1

Carry on then dude
/r/seduction21/05/25 10:08 PM
1

Stop assuming anything. Ask questions and learn to read vibes better. I actively date and this is not a constant problem like you’re making it out to be. Sometimes i think a girl is flirting and i find out she’s taken. Big deal. Move on. Plenty of times the girl is being friendly and flirty and is single. Like damn dude stop acting like it’s a strict rule. The world and people are complex. The biggest thing in the way right now is yourself.
/r/seduction21/05/25 09:34 PM
3

That’s a you issue my dude. Maybe stop assuming things so generally. Every person is different. You’re oversimplifying things far too much.
/r/seduction21/05/25 08:43 PM
9

Because they don’t have to worry about you trying to make a move, they’re taken. There is no risk of you interpreting things incorrectly because you should know not to hit on someone who is taken. So they can just be a normal friendly person. A single girl who is uninterested is less likely to be fully nice and friendly because guys confuse that for flirting and make unwanted moves on them. To avoid that they have more of a guard up.
/r/seduction21/05/25 08:25 PM
48

It’s easy to build it up as this big thing in your head and worry about her response, but if she’s interested in escalating it’s hilariously non-eventful/simple. Just “hey i’d love to keep chatting more do you wanna have another drink at my place?” Some girls are going to say no, you just need to get over that fact. It’s not even a big deal when they say no, you just say “no worries that’s cool” and either suggest another bar nearby or end the date naturally there. Some girls are going to say “Y…
/r/seduction20/05/25 07:13 PM
1

bet
/r/seduction19/05/25 01:09 AM
6

you have to read the energy. there’s no magic phrase or answer to make an uninterested girl interested. if you have short convo and she gives you nothing back you move on. you won’t make a connection with every person, and acting like or believing that failure to escalate was because you didn’t answer a question right is unrealistic i’m not saying your responses don’t matter, better responses will create better energy, but this girl just sounds uninterested so it’s best to move on until you meet…
/r/seduction19/05/25 12:57 AM
2

no it doesn’t
/r/seduction19/05/25 12:54 AM
8

i think it’s both unpopular and insane. i couldn’t disagree more
/r/seduction19/05/25 12:04 AM
32

bad take. navigating relationships and learning from them is part of learning who you are and what things do and don’t work for you in a relationship, among a ton of other things telling people to not date until they are 25 is insane
/r/seduction19/05/25 12:00 AM
23

I would only do this if I wanted to signal strong interest in her and ultimately looking towards a long-term relationship. I wouldn't do this to someone I was seeing casually.
/r/seduction16/05/25 08:26 PM
1

I agree
/r/seduction15/05/25 01:02 PM
20

Skip the “I like you” Saying “I want to take you out” is fine and will not ruin anything. But normally you should just say something like “Are you free next X day to grab drinks at Y place at Z time” By doing that your intent and desire to take her out are explicit and clear, without saying the exact words. But again if you say “I wanna take you out next X day at Y place at Z time” that will not “ruin everything”.
/r/seduction13/05/25 06:46 PM
2

I didn’t really articulate that situation well enough. I agree when there’s been some indication of interest. I’m talking about if you go over to a friends house and meet 5 new people, one of thems a girl your’re attracted to but didn’t really interact with 1:1 at all and didn’t have any real conversation together. If you slide into her DMs 3 days later and ask her out it’s going to feel much more out of pocket versus meeting someone at a bar and flirting with them for an hour and snagging their…
/r/seduction10/05/25 02:37 PM
3

In OLD it’s quicker than that. Context is important. Met a girl at a bar and got her number? Ask her out within a week 100%. Your friend introduces you to a girl and there’s no inherent basis for you to be hitting on her? Yeah a week is weird.
/r/seduction10/05/25 03:21 AM
1

Yeah I usually do cooking 2nd or 3rd date and it’s gg. And if they say no to that then it likely wasn’t going anywhere anyways.
/r/seduction09/05/25 12:39 AM
1

I’ll get the ick if we go 3 dates and she never offers to so much as pay for drinks at some point Then I do the rejecting
/r/seduction09/05/25 12:08 AM
1

Yeah that experience makes perfect sense. I primarily do OLD so it’s a bit more helpful than if you primarily meet someone IRL where you already can build some level of attraction. There’s so many people doing coffee dates on OLD that it can be a separator. I still do tons of coffee dates and get laid from them, no doubt. It’s that upper tier that is harder to crack with the same strategy. Sounds like we’re in the same headspace with it.
/r/seduction08/05/25 11:54 PM
1

I have to disagree with the premise that it’s just as easy to get laid from coffee dates alone than a higher investment choice. I certainly get laid easier with girls more physically attractive than myself when I have a more interesting date idea than the average Joe. That typically involves spending a little money. Now, it’s probably a bit more of correlation than causation. Because it’s really the fact that you have a more interesting date idea that’s showing the value. But being willing to sp…
/r/seduction08/05/25 11:46 PM
1

I mean, you definitely can get laid with only low investment dates. It’s a valid strategy. But its also definitely true that, on average, you separate yourself a bit from low investment dudes by spending some money at a nice bar or a new restaurant in town. It does display a level of value. Again it’s not necessary, but it can elevate you a bit. This makes more sense if you’re in a financially stable situation. Which is part of the value you’re showing off.
/r/seduction08/05/25 11:37 PM
19

If it’s not your looks it’s your personality or your game. Your texting probably sucks. Or your interaction before getting the number sucks. Looks only get your foot in the door, it won’t be enough for most women to want you.
/r/seduction07/05/25 10:02 PM
208

Try to sit at the bar not a table on a first date. Easy physical escalation being next to each other. Shoulder touch, leg touch, arm over back of her chair, etc. 10x easier to build tension than across from one another. Also cooking on 2nd or 3rd date. Big hobby of mine, super easy to impress. Also means we’re at my place already. GG.
/r/seduction07/05/25 09:59 PM
0

good thing that’s not what I said at all. and my primary point that it would be wrong to assume the most cynical outcome as the baseline, especially given OPs context, still stands.
/r/seduction06/05/25 08:13 PM
4

you’re making a huge mistake projecting 1 possible scenario as the baseline expectation yes, what you described could happen but in reality, many/most girls won’t give out their number if they don’t intend to follow through. again, flaking definitely happens, but it’s not the baseline standard and it’s definitely not the baseline standard for a woman to take advantage of some dude to move in and then blow them off entirely after chatting them up for an hour in their home. she would not have invi…
/r/seduction06/05/25 07:18 PM
3

Yeah I was right, I disagree
/r/seduction19/04/25 02:44 AM
7

I have no idea what you’re trying to say, but am somehow quite sure i disagree with whatever it is
/r/seduction19/04/25 01:30 AM
5

i’d say the higher the emotional investment and attachment the higher likelihood she will see things moving towards an exclusive long term relationship and emotional investment comes from time + behaviors so on the behavior front if you’re like texting all the time (which despite what this sub says, can totally be fine if you’re both into it), texting every day, sending good morning/goodnight texts a lot, hanging out multiple times every week, being really sweet in physical interactions that are…
/r/seduction18/04/25 11:55 PM
49

simple, communicate intentions to the people you are seeing and always be honest. don’t lead them on or do things to suggest that you are exclusive. eventually you’ll hit a point where you either choose to see one person or she will move on because she doesn’t want to be involved with multiple people. any negative feelings of guilt or anything stem from leading someone on or being dishonest. so just don’t do that and you’ll be fine
/r/seduction18/04/25 10:51 PM
22

asking out directly will always be the great equalizer. you want your answer? ask her out
/r/seduction16/04/25 01:36 AM
10

sounds like you’re putting pressure on it and making her feel uncomfortable, the exact opposite of what you should be doing, which is making her feel safe and comfortable with no pressure
/r/seduction15/04/25 09:48 PM
-1

This is so presumptuous and hilariously wrong. The guy is just as likely to lose interest eventually. And guess what, when two people are FWB, exclusive or otherwise, that’s NORMAL. There’s literally nothing different here than being non exclusive other than both people are on the same page and having unprotected sex. When one person loses interest in the other, guess what happens. Both people move on, just like any other time. That’s not a gotcha. That’s expected.
/r/seduction14/04/25 02:27 PM
0

plenty of women have IUDs so it’s not a worry
/r/seduction14/04/25 02:24 PM
1

pretty much a “short term relationship” as hinge calls it. just with the additional communication to know you’re not sleeping with someone else at the moment.
/r/seduction14/04/25 02:23 PM
0

I do this from time to time as well. As OP said, both of you can be tested and have safe unprotected sex. I’d rather have unprotected sex with one person than have protected sex with 2 different people. Also, at certain times in your life where you’re both busy and focusing on work/hobbies/other things and don’t have time (or desire) to either commit to a full on relationship, or date other women, this set up can work great.
/r/seduction14/04/25 02:22 PM
0

brother idk why you’re being downvoted. i’ve been in your situation and it’s 100% different than having a girlfriend. these other people are tripping
/r/seduction14/04/25 02:19 PM
1

Duh. Why should I assume anyone is exclusive with me when we’ve presumably been on less than 5 dates? Do you know how weird I would feel if after 2 dates with a girl she just assumed we were exclusive? Until you’ve communicated being exclusive with one another, neither person should assume that to be the case. That is straight weird.
/r/seduction08/04/25 12:22 AM
3

You can go for it if it’s neutral, you just have to be ok with the fact that you might get rejected. And understand that getting reject isn’t “going too far”. Going for a kiss, her pulling away, and then going “come on, it’s just a kiss” and getting in her personal space again is going too far. Backing off and saying “that’s alright, have a good night” is perfectly reasonable. You can also just test it though, when you walk her back to her car notice if she tries to create space between you. Whe…
/r/seduction07/03/25 02:40 PM
1

1-2 hours is not really “taking your time”. That’s like 5-6 hours. If you respond every 1-2 hours every day, your interest is known. Every now and then respond quicker and go back and forth a few times in an hour or two. You’re overthinking it. Girls don’t really mean literally obsessed. They mean they want to see consistent high interest and you’re doing that. You don’t want to go too overboard, especially when it sounds early on. The only other thing is if she’s consistently responds quickly, …
/r/seduction06/03/25 02:04 AM
21

Listen if you have some positive signals it’s never wrong to attempt to escalate respectfully. This is what you need to do and keep in mind to get out of your head. If you escalate and get rejected, just pull back and show that you can see she’s not feeling it. You’re currently operating under the belief that if, for example, you try to kiss a girl at the end of a date and she doesn’t want it that you’ll come off as a creep. That’s wrong. Women want you to be bold. I’ve fumbled multiple bags for…
/r/seduction06/03/25 01:56 AM
14

Communicate intentions when you sense they are developing feelings faster/deeper than you are. That’s it. You can proposition something casual or short term, some will be down for that and others won’t. The end. If you communicate honestly and directly, rather than skirting the issue or trying not to talk about it, then you won’t feel any sense of leading someone on
/r/seduction04/03/25 07:24 PM
1

“Hey i had a great time with you the other night, would love to take you out next X day at Y place around Z time if you’re free” If she’s interested she will say yes or propose another time. She will ghost or come up with an excuse without offering another time. It’s that simple.
/r/seduction02/03/25 03:48 PM
6

Here let me help you out. She says “no interest”, you move on. You’re welcome.
/r/seduction28/02/25 02:17 AM
3

strong eye contact always one example: mid-conversation if yal are vibing lets assume you’re sitting at bar together, putting your arm across the back of her chair. if she doesn’t move away or act differently, gently touch her upper back/shoulders while your arm is behind her. very lightly at first to see how she responds. if she’s not pulling away keep touching gently. the fact that you’re not overtly touching her, and that it’s subtle while you maintain eye contact and conversation, increases …
/r/seduction28/02/25 01:01 AM
4

For me, definitely. That doesn’t mean it will for everyone. We are all individuals.
/r/seduction20/02/25 05:07 PM
1

you comment in the thread that you didn’t ask for her number because you don’t want to be clingy yet you’re literally being clingy expecting every response to be < 4 hours when you and this girl barely know each other at this point and are barely invested in each other sounds like your expectations for early dating interactions are super far off. some people text a ton, some barely text, and some are the middle ground. if she’s responding and being consistent then you’re massively overreacting a…
/r/seduction16/02/25 10:56 PM
3

Mostly he refers several times to an idea that “they” keep saying finding the kind of girl he wants and or the social life he wants will/should come “easily” or “naturally” and then he is spiraling because he is putting in some level of effort and that is not happening which is causing him excess frustration. Idk where he is hearing those things from but i can confidently say those things do not come easy for most people, you do need to put effort in and sort of trust the process. A lot of what …
/r/seduction04/02/25 08:37 PM
-1

i’ll chat you on the side, i went back and fully read your post. we have a lot of similarities but there are a few significant points i think you’re off on, and it’s causing you to derail way farther than you should be given a lot of the assets you seem to have in terms of starting from a strong position.
/r/seduction04/02/25 06:33 PM
10

you’ve definitely taken some liberties in your interpretation of what that guy said he didn’t say you’re fucking after 30. he’s saying it’s both normal to have big social groups die down a bit, and also that it’s relatively speaking more difficult to develop new meaningful friendships. not that it’s impossible. it’s simply more challenging than in college and takes more effort and intention. also, that dude said absolutely nothing indicating that 30 is too old to be hanging out with 26 year olds…
/r/seduction04/02/25 05:42 PM
3

honestly you play the game enough shit happens. had one recently that i fumbled totally through my own faults. it was just an off day and she wasn’t into it. i knew on a different day things would have been different and it stuck with me longer than usual. you just need some time. 3 weeks from now you won’t even be thinking about it anymore, just gonna suck for a bit. but you learn and move on.
/r/seduction04/02/25 05:53 AM
1

vibing to good music and cooking a 3 course meal at your place with a bottle of wine and nice flowers
/r/seduction02/02/25 12:31 AM
12

develop meaningful passions, hobbies, and connections outside of dating women. this makes you far more confident and outcome independent because you have a lot of meaning and purpose in your life already, instead of all of that being forced onto the women you are trying to see.
/r/seduction29/01/25 03:49 PM
2

not a single person here could ever tell you what is enough for you as an individual. that is a deeply personal decision point that we are all confronted with. best i can do is tell you that you will likely eventually meet someone that the idea of “something better out there” nearly entirely stops crossing you mind, all on its own. that is my personal litmus test for deciding to pursue something longer term with someone.
/r/seduction27/01/25 08:48 PM
1

march her energy. if she responds often, quickly, and/or enthusiastically you can give back the same energy. if she is the type of person to not text much then keep communication minimal like memes or a quick comment or whatever every day or two until the date. the only issue is mismatched energy. if she’s super chatty but you’re giving her nothing back she could thing you’re uninterested. if she’s not a big texter at all and you’re texting her all the time she could think you’re too over invest…
/r/seduction25/01/25 10:29 PM
3

this is so hilariously out of touch and angsty. take notes fellas, this is the type of dude you should not be taking any advice from
/r/seduction24/01/25 10:53 PM
3

complete facts here
/r/seduction24/01/25 08:54 PM
12

oh that’s easy. “women feel insecure about giving away their phone numbers” is 100% not a rule. OP is speaking on her own worldview and kinda acting like other women feel that way too. that’s simply not true. some do, some don’t. more importantly, projecting anything on all women is inherently missing reality. that’s why your statement sounds so nonsense to people who are out there talking to women. it’s not like that all in the real world. yes, some women don’t like to give out their number. so…
/r/seduction24/01/25 08:52 PM
13

he just did. the answer is consistent when you ONS from the bar you don’t know the other person well at all. you just had a strong connection on that night, for any number of multiple reasons, and both people happen to be down for the ONS
/r/seduction24/01/25 08:10 PM
6

you develop a strong sense of self value outside of women, by having other things you care about like hobbies and passions. when all you have is women as your sole focus then it feels far more crushing when something doesn’t work out. when you have other value it’s easier to go “meh, on to the next one” also, as a man when you reject a woman it doesn’t mean she’s unworthy or less valuable as a person, it just means you two didn’t have a strong connection not having a strong mutual connection =/=…
/r/seduction24/01/25 08:09 PM
2

1 or 2 “professional” looking photos max. professional here means something fairly obviously pose-y or like a headshot and with portrait mode type shot where the background is blurry and you really pop out as the subject adding one of two of these is super good all of them being that is definitely bad however, much of what OP is describing is still relevant and achievable without the “professional looking” feel. specifically, having an interesting/nice/colorful background, with bonus points if i…
/r/seduction23/01/25 01:04 AM
11

imo if you have genuine interested then say yeah that’s cool and chat to her for a few days before asking her out again if she: -barely responds -gives short answers -makes no effort to continue the conversation then just bail but there are situations where the girl is a good texter and puts effort in, and you two can hit it off which can make a first date even better the trick is to be playful/flirty while chatting, and recognizing if she does any of the negative stuff above that her “wanting t…
/r/seduction21/01/25 12:04 AM
2

I don’t think it’s weak if you say it with confidence and frame it as low-pressure. it’s weak if you try to put a lot of pressure on it and like mention her trip as the reason or something. the way i phrased it above is basically you telling her you came to the realization that she is your primary focus, and that you’re comfortable telling her that before you even know her answer. personally i believe that comes across very powerful and could make her very happy. You can even say you don’t need …
/r/seduction13/01/25 07:07 PM
6

3 months is plenty of time for you to bring up exclusivity in my opinion, given that you’re genuinely interested in that. just use some finesse in how you phrase it instead of “do you want to be exclusive” (which actually isn’t even a bad move, just not optimal), say something like “I know we haven’t promised each other anything, but i’ve really enjoyed getting to know you these past months and after thinking about it some more, my intention is to focus only on you moving forward. There’s no pre…
/r/seduction13/01/25 06:49 PM
2

totally disagree, but good luck!
/r/seduction13/01/25 04:30 PM
5

imo you shouldn’t do this whole “let me guess what’s going on here” bit. it’s kind of weird. i think at this point you should do something far simpler. after you cook dinner and all, at some point start a simple conversation where tell her you’ve really been enjoying getting to know her and that you genuinely like her (assuming you do. don’t lie). then ask her what she’s looking for. that gives her the perfect opportunity for her to share how she is viewing things. if she says she’s into you and…
/r/seduction13/01/25 03:55 AM
5

she just didn’t like you that much. forcing her to say that specifically is pretty insane. i would never tell a girl i rejected “i just don’t like you”. i’d just make something up to soften the blow. unless it’s something super easy like “you want kids and i don’t”, expecting an “honest” answer is insane. i get why you want one, but step back and think about what you would say to a girl you didn’t want a second date with who you didn’t find physically attractive and asks “well what’s the reason …
/r/seduction07/01/25 10:47 PM
2

your profile is weak and/or you’re waiting on girls to like you which is a waste, on something like hinge you should make the first move to stand out a bit
/r/seduction02/01/25 05:06 AM
2

lol ok brother
/r/seduction21/12/24 12:08 AM
5

it’s as simple as i’ve said, if you can’t see that idk what to tell you. i didn’t say don’t think about it. i said focus on the highest priority people and drop the rest. if you’re overwhelmed by volume stop meeting new people until you’ve sorted what’s already in your lap. if you’re obsessed with meeting new people, then you’re obviously not sufficiently into the people in your lap. your response hardly makes sense. you can’t date 20+ people and have genuine connection with them at the same tim…
/r/seduction20/12/24 11:39 PM
14

Use your brain for 5 seconds. Talk to less people, focus on the ones you’re most interested in. How could there possibly be any other answer.
/r/seduction20/12/24 05:24 PM
2

as do i
/r/seduction17/12/24 05:34 PM
3

this is the truth
/r/seduction17/12/24 02:01 AM
23

you can fairly easily date 24+ y/o women in early thirties
/r/seduction17/12/24 02:00 AM
21

the market is NOT just single moms. i date often and never date a single mom. your success is determined by what you bring to the table. if you have attractive qualities, and some social skills, and a little game, you can be successful with OLD most people without success either don’t bring a lot of value to attractive women, or do have value to bring but fail to demonstrate it
/r/seduction16/12/24 07:21 PM
13

he’s saying some people will act differently from their true self/feelings, which is the “front”, and then when they get rejected they feel less bad about it because the “front” version of them got rejected. It hurts more to be rejected when you were behaving 100% genuine versus fake. However, being genuine will overall see more success, so be genuine and don’t take the rejection to heart, because at least if you got rejected for being yourself, it simply wasn’t meant to be, which is fine and ex…
/r/seduction05/12/24 07:03 PM
5

as someone with tons of success on dating apps, this is absolutely hilarious
/r/seduction02/12/24 07:45 PM
15

you should still do all of the things those top profiles are doing. good pictures good angles etc. skip the shirtless pic, that’s not needed and often a turn off for a sizable number of women (not all). you will get a competitive advantage on hinge if you have a funny/clever opener. you can comment on pictures/prompts versus just liking a profile on tinder. that’s how you set yourself apart, the average dudes just like pictures/prompts. the best success comes from using them to start the convers…
/r/seduction22/11/24 01:16 AM
3

Being funny is the best. Something observational about her prompts/pictures, bonus points if it’s something not everyone else is commenting on. You don’t want to be saying something every other dude is saying. Funny + observational at the same time is gold. Banter too. Here’s some recent examples (these are all matches): 1) she has 2 truths and a lie prompt, one of them is “my ex boyfriend broke up with me and got with my ex best friend” Opener: so are we trauma dumping in hinge intros now? 2) s…
/r/seduction21/11/24 09:07 PM
1

couldn’t possibly disagree more
/r/seduction21/11/24 02:47 PM
3

are you only sending the rose or are you sending a good opener with it. if your profile is actually good (for that level of woman) + you have a good, ideally funny, opener then you should occasionally get hits. if you never get hits either your profile doesn’t stand out at that level, or your opener isn’t grabbing enough attention.
/r/seduction21/11/24 02:39 PM
4

not posts. stories pretty much. one story, no. consistently? depending on your relationship with that person, definitely can be the intent.
/r/seduction19/11/24 01:16 AM
6

over analyzing. if you’re interested ask her out again. if you won’t go out with a girl who isn’t asking you out for the third date, and/or you take that as a sign of disinterest, you’re going to have a bad time. why do you need to gauge interest if she’s saying yes to go out with you. her saying yes to going out with you is her indicator of interest.
/r/seduction18/11/24 03:22 PM
9

dominant to me is taking the lead across many areas of dating. setting up time and place, leading where the date goes, being the primary one escalating physical touch, not agreeing with everything she says, having a strong sense of self, exude confidence, leading in the bedroom, etc. i can and do all of those things while being respectful and “nice” to the women i’m dating that’s how you separate yourself from shallow lame fuckboys into a respectful dominant man you basically take the traits of …
/r/seduction15/11/24 07:59 PM
17

i disagree with most of this. you don’t need to be a fuckboy and also this entire framing of women is pretty garbage and toxic in my opinion “most women don’t have their psychological state in order” is wild being dominant and moving things forward, i agree with. but you can be a decent man at the same time and get laid easily. being dominant and escalating does not mean being indecent
/r/seduction15/11/24 07:08 PM
1

there’s 0 option that works on everyone. you find things that work often enough on your type of girl that even if only 2 out of 10 bite you get enough steady dates to be successful
/r/seduction15/11/24 05:30 AM
1

best of luck!
/r/seduction15/11/24 02:30 AM
1

it’s paying off and ive come a long way to get here lol. happy to share the perspective.
/r/seduction15/11/24 02:28 AM
3

As you go on more dates, and particularly with girls that you have a genuine connection with, conversing will be super easy and you won’t run out of steam. Sometimes you could run out of steam because you ran out of topics to discuss, and she’s not helping much, but that kinda usually just means you two didn’t connect to the level that chatting endlessly is effortless. Now, you do need to pull your weight and make things easier by bringing up interesting topics that can expand into longer tangen…
/r/seduction15/11/24 02:21 AM
2

Yeah i’ve had similar experiences where it feels like a good 2nd date and surprisingly doesn’t end up in a 3rd, i think you just need to get used to that being part of the game. You sound like you won’t have much trouble in the long run based on your description of the dates and how they’re going. Realize that as you keep going on dates this same situation will occur with the shoe on the other foot. You’re going to have a solid 2nd date with someone who ultimately you realize isnt someone you wa…
/r/seduction15/11/24 02:15 AM
1

couple dates isn’t enough sample size. i don’t personally see an issue with the length of the dates, i see that as a good thing if it goes long and she doesn’t make an excuse to leave early, that’s an indicator in interest in my book. sometimes (read: often) 2 people just don’t connect enough physically/emotionally to continue to a 3rd date. impossible to say if you’re doing anything “wrong”, i wouldn’t necessarily assume that’s the case unless you went on like 10 dates, and even the ones you th…
/r/seduction15/11/24 01:32 AM
1

99% of my dates are from me liking someone and them matching, i agree that i get next to nothing in the realm of women liking my profile on their own. i’ve also “trained” my algorithm a bit bc on a hinge match if you swipe left on a persons profile you matched with there’s an option that asks if you’ve met this person yet and if they’re a type of person you’d like to see more off. i don’t know how impactful it is but i definitely say yes i met them and show me more people like this on my matches…
/r/seduction14/11/24 07:03 AM
1

2 main and important differences: -the algorithm is much better at showing me women i’m interested in than tinders -as a guy being able to say a comment along with the initial like is a huge bonus for me bc it allows me to stand out during the matching process, whereas bumble and tinder will be more decided by straight looks/profile strength. hinge allowing you to make a comment gives an opportunity to stand out, and leads to me matching to more attractive people other things like the type of pe…
/r/seduction14/11/24 06:48 AM
1

my successful dating life disagrees with you but alright could be different in other cities but i did go to nyc recently and it was even easier than my home city, and by a lot, so i stick by my experiences i’d even go so far as to say hinge is a great app
/r/seduction14/11/24 06:43 AM
2

that’s some bullshit. overthinking and way too game-y. if you’re consistently seeing someone every week for what purpose are you doing this crap? if she’s down to see you every week she is into you. honestly the more i read this post and think about it the more cringe and weird it becomes.
/r/seduction13/11/24 07:34 PM
1

hinge > tinder by an enormous amount i would not recommend anyone use tinder, it’s genuinely terrible. i have the same exact pictures and do 10x better on hinge.
/r/seduction13/11/24 06:54 PM
2

when you have a good profile and match with lots of people, naturally there are many convos that are short and don’t go anywhere. i do this too where i flirt a bit with a woman then move on bc i meet someone im more interested in. does that make me a troll? of course not. you haven’t even met this person yet, you’re mistake is overstating the importance of matching with someone online. it’s not that deep, particularly in the earlier stages. there definitely are people out there who are trolling …
/r/seduction13/11/24 03:55 PM
9

ending on good terms, and making it clear, subtely or explicitly, that you’re open to reconnecting in the future. nothing you can do to guarantee it at all, and it’s still rare, but it happens to me often enough that i’m not too shocked anymore. it’s important for her to have enjoyed her time with you a lot when things were going good.
/r/seduction11/11/24 11:04 PM
1

ok that’s fine but i don’t think people should take that, run with it, and behave that way because socially it’s rather weird. just my 2 cents.
/r/seduction11/11/24 06:22 AM
1

i call BS that people are saying “thanks but no thanks” if a girl asks them out directly
/r/seduction11/11/24 02:57 AM
0

this isn’t a woman specific thing. everyone does this. you know how weird and awkward it is to say “sorry i don’t want to hang out with you”? it’s basic social cues.
/r/seduction10/11/24 07:28 PM
10

you say anything along the lines of “hey i’ve really enjoyed getting to know you over the past few weeks, but i need to be honest that i’m feeling like our connection/chemistry isn’t quite where i want it to be to progress things to the next level. i genuinely think you’re a cool person and i wish you the best” or you can say that there’s someone else you have a strong connection with and you want to focus on that for a while. imagine you’re getting let down by a girl, how would you like her to …
/r/seduction09/11/24 06:04 AM
32

handshake - very bad. at minimum give a little side hug if full on hug feels too much based on body language. escalate quicker - if you haven’t kissed by the third date that’s usually too slow and you won’t progress. lots of women have a 3 date rule for sleeping with someone. if you haven’t even kissed yet you come off as unconfident/not a romantic partner. touching shoulder/lower back/thigh while sitting next to each other should be happening on first date, second only if it was impossible on f…
/r/seduction05/11/24 11:49 PM
1

personally once profile/openers are dialed i have more than enough date options to fill up my weeks. having more wouldn’t actually help me, so why spend the money? also, in my experience, 95% of quality dates come from me liking a woman’s profile with a good opener, it’s very rare to get a like from the type of person i want on its own. so boosting hardly helps because the top quality women rarely like other guys profiles anyways, they just go through who’s already liked them.
/r/seduction05/11/24 09:13 PM
0

nah forget the boost, improve your profile and openers and you’ll get more matches (hinge). i get plenty of matches without boosting. and im also not THAT good looking.
/r/seduction05/11/24 02:47 PM
5

wrap your hand on her neck but don’t squeeze or put pressure, and gauge her reaction. if she’s not into it she won’t react much or will move away. if she’s into it she’ll lean into it and react positively.
/r/seduction04/11/24 08:30 PM
4

where is she from, background, does she have siblings, how many, is she close with her family, does she like to travel, where are some of the places she’s looking most forward to traveling, does she see herself staying in this city long term, does she have a huge friend group or a small intimate circle of friends, how does she spend her weekends/weekdays, does she like to party or stay at home? do things outside? what kinds of things? why does she like those things? has she been to any concerts …
/r/seduction30/10/24 11:08 PM
5

if a girl wanted to hang out with you, and you were not interested, i’d bet you $100 you would not text her “i’m sorry, i don’t want to meet you or hang out with you”
/r/seduction29/10/24 08:46 PM
4

pretty simple, if you don’t struggle to get dates with the type of women you want, but can’t seem to get a second date or escalate, the issue is with what you’re doing on the dates and how you’re making women feel. to be blunt, it sounds like you’re not coming across nearly as attractive as you think you are.
/r/seduction29/10/24 08:45 PM
1

waiting a week or two is the issue in my opinion. 2 weeks especially is soooo long when you don’t even know the person. i would ask her out again in a day or two. i feel in the past waiting used to work but these days people move quick so i’ve sped up my timelines, with better success. she definitely might be nexting you for someone else, but it also costs you nothing to throw out a date ask with low effort and low investment on the off chance she’s still interested. i would just do so sooner th…
/r/seduction29/10/24 01:34 AM
1

“Hey i’ve gotta get going i’d love to take you out sometime, can i have your number/mind if i get your number?” You’re going to get rejected sometimes just take it like a man with a smile on your face and say “that’s alright, have a great day” and move on to the next one. How you say it and the way you hold yourself is going to do more to make it chill and not high-pressure than the specific words you use.
/r/seduction25/10/24 06:51 PM
2

honestly just ask for their number. if they were going to give you a wrong number, that’s no different than handing them your number and then not texting back. interest is interest, who gives who which number is ultimately meaningless. the reason i’d ask for the number is bc yeah im not walking around with index cards and my number on it that’s weird.
/r/seduction25/10/24 06:43 PM
1

oh you’ve like really lost the plot
/r/seduction24/10/24 03:20 AM
8

you don’t need preselection. it just helps. you are falsely believing you have to have it. literally just talk to and date more women, you’re way too lost in the weeds if you’re spiraling over “preselection”. also plenty of people are in relationships and are still bad with women.
/r/seduction24/10/24 01:14 AM
0

definitely do not agree
/r/seduction17/10/24 12:07 PM
2

Hinge is the modern tinder. It is genuinely 100x better. If you are actually solid on looks and career as in your post, and you’re not getting matches on Hinge, then your profile is bad. If you get matches but can’t secure dates, then your game is bad.
/r/seduction17/10/24 01:13 AM
2

no, that is not the right conclusion for someone with both self-respect and respect for other people
/r/seduction10/08/24 01:49 AM
2

thats weird as hell i’d never do that. totally makes sense why girls don’t want anything casual with you the way you’re acting here.
/r/seduction10/08/24 01:38 AM
2

sure if you wanna be an asshole go for it
/r/seduction10/08/24 01:09 AM
1

Oh well. It is what it is. You can’t get around the fact that you are looking for something that lots of girls aren’t looking for. This is why many guys mislead girls. Which is not the right thing to do.
/r/seduction10/08/24 01:07 AM
11

you don’t need preselection to be attractive. case closed.
/r/seduction15/07/24 06:11 PM
1

honestly i don’t have the full 100% picture, im sure she did some things not ideally, but again when you asked her what’s up she said she wants just friends so idk man. it doesn’t sound that deep when you two hadn’t seen each other for very long yet. doing stuff in front of you without having a conversation could be weird but depends on the full context/nature of your relationship which i don’t have. at the end of the day this type of situation seems fairly normal-ish in dating and doesn’t sound…
/r/seduction15/07/24 03:36 AM
1

that’s all extremely low investment from her side and extremely low signs leading you on. you barely knew this girl. you’re acting like you had a really long thing going. she WAS open to seeing new people, and she saw you for a bit. “left you to continue asking her out”? brother you went on a couple dates and she straight up said she wanted to just be friends when you asked her to be honest. this entire situation went down basically the most regular, vanilla, civil pathway that occurs in dating …
/r/seduction15/07/24 03:16 AM
2

she didn’t straddle you on, she hung out with you multiple times and ultimately decided to pursue someone else. that’s completely normal in dating. it hardly sounds like she lead you on in any tangible way after the other guy was in the picture again you just sound hurt and want to make her the bad guy. sometimes people get hurt and no one did anything wrong. it sucks that it happened to you but it doesn’t mean she played you at all.
/r/seduction15/07/24 02:35 AM
3

on the first date if the vibe is good you go for a light touch somewhere (shoulder, thigh touch, etc) and see how she responds. if she doesn’t like it she will move away from you. if she doesn’t move away or moves closer keep doing it every now and then, she will either move closer/reciprocate or move away. if she moves away then respect it and don’t push it. if she seems receptive than you slowly escalate the touch by keeping you hand on her upper back slightly longer for example or let your sh…
/r/seduction10/07/24 09:17 PM
6

“what do you have in mind”, “im down for anything”, and “let me know when you’re free” are all very bad responses because they put the onus on the woman to come up with the next step which is 9.9 times out 10 going to fail because you are supposed to lead as the man which is attractive she gave you the hint that she wants you to set something else up so you need to man up and come up with a specific time and place you are primarily meant to lead the interaction. women get turned off when you ask…
/r/seduction10/07/24 08:41 PM
1

def focus on hinge i don’t really see bots and scammers on there. also tho i mean be realistic there likely arent THAT many desirable 40 year olds who have never been married
/r/seduction04/07/24 08:08 PM
3

you'd probably crush it on dating apps if you're social and still in decent shape
/r/seduction04/07/24 05:49 PM
1

i agree give or take will caveat that this is once you have your profile + messaging + date setup dialed but that stuffs not particularly complicated, just takes some effort and trial/error
/r/seduction03/07/24 10:29 PM
1

90 matches per successful date is not great you should be able to get a date with more than 5% of matches
/r/seduction03/07/24 08:50 PM
0

i’d say getting a number maybe 40% of the time i’m actually trying (i match with people i don’t always follow through with), and around half of those end up in an actual date happening 1-3 messages with some banter/funny comment/genuine interest topic and if she’s still responding just ask for the number it’s not too difficult. most people overthink it for sure.
/r/seduction03/07/24 08:40 PM
5

do you not have friends on social media? it’s not that wild for people to meet others and be interested in being friends.
/r/seduction17/06/24 05:13 PM
8

either be casually exclusive or move on and find someone who wants to be casual and non-exclusive. it’s likely that the women you’re sleeping with are not into a casual relationship with other people involved (in which case there’s nothing you can do about it’s, it’s a personal preference thing). the other options are you’re not good enough in bed for them to want to maintain that kind of relationship with you, or you bring it up in a way that puts them off.
/r/seduction14/06/24 08:40 PM
0

jesus dude it’s a casual relationship and you’re telling her to call you after she gets out of the doctor? and asking her to call you multiple times, sometimes an hour later if she doesn’t answer? you are wayyyy too needy and overbearing. wouldn’t be surprised if she dropped you soon at all. some of her communication sounds poor but you are way too down her throat about it all so that totally explains why she’s being distant.
/r/seduction14/06/24 05:23 PM
4

not everyone wants a casual FWB and there’s nothing you can do to make a girl want that if she doesn’t want it. Literally just move on and eventually you will meet someone who is looking for that (if you’re good in bed).
/r/seduction14/06/24 05:18 PM
62

at least break the touch barrier on first date. light flirty touches. does not have to be a kiss. if she responds very well to the touching (doesnt pull away, moves closer to you over the date, touches you back), then you should go for the kiss at the right moment. if you don’t kiss on the first date its far from “lost”. should def try on the second though in those cases.
/r/seduction14/06/24 05:00 PM
14

agreed, this is correct. OP handled it well. Too many dudes here try to ask “how can i lie to this girl about my intentions to keep getting laid”. That’s fucked up and lame. You’ll unironically get better results by being completely honest about what you want and are looking for, while also having 0 guilt bc you’re not trying to manipulate someone. Also it’s just the right and respectful thing to do.
/r/seduction14/06/24 02:24 PM
36

Banter/Teasing = Push Flirting/Compliments/Physical Touch = Pull Example: Dancing with a girl who’s doing some funny/weird moves “You look absolutely ridiculous right now (push), but i’m totally into it (pull)”
/r/seduction13/06/24 08:34 PM
3

Yes exactly, growing incrementally over time adds up.
/r/seduction13/06/24 08:27 PM
23

Think of my answer as being framed to the question of "How do I attract women that are more attractive than I currently get". It is general characteristics to "level-up" so to speak. This is advice where, when you do all of it, you can tend to get women who are above-average attractive, since these traits I'm talking about are above-average for men to display. The less of these you have and show, the less attractive women you will succeed with, on average. You could get extremely lucky with righ…
/r/seduction13/06/24 08:12 PM
3

sounds good!
/r/seduction13/06/24 06:57 PM
6

brother im a slut too. im not changing anything.
/r/seduction13/06/24 06:57 PM
7

as i said, i don't think guys *have* to go on dinner dates. you won't automatically get laid taking someone out to dinner. all i said was dinner dates aren't inherently simping, and they can work. if a guy doesn't do any of the things that makes a man attractive, i wouldn't say going on a dinner date is going to compensate for those issues.
/r/seduction13/06/24 06:56 PM
5

mostly because i often get laid after dinner dates
/r/seduction13/06/24 06:50 PM
6

sounds like you are already very successful, don't let me get in your way :)
/r/seduction13/06/24 06:50 PM
7

yeah a lot of stuff is making sense now for sure
/r/seduction13/06/24 06:49 PM
2

sounds good brother, seems like you already know what to do
/r/seduction13/06/24 06:48 PM
6

good point, I've never seen an attractive girl with a non-white, not-tall dude before
/r/seduction13/06/24 06:47 PM
7

if copium = things that give me consistent success, then yes
/r/seduction13/06/24 06:15 PM
125

First and foremost they want you to lead the interaction. On top of that they want you to be confident, mature, funny, emotionally intelligent, and not-needy. That means planning dates (giving specific time and place), dressing with some style (doesn’t need to be designer shit. just well fitting clothes that are clean), making her laugh + bantering, having strong opinions and not agreeing with everything she says, knowing how to escalate physically with attractive touch while also not going too …
/r/seduction13/06/24 05:57 PM
7

it’s me. i’m outclassing him.
/r/seduction13/06/24 05:49 PM
6

trolls gonna troll lmao
/r/seduction13/06/24 05:48 PM
5

I pay for dinner for some (not all) first dates and have plenty of success. I like eating out and sometimes i want sushi. Half the time I’M the one who doesn’t ask the girl for a second date, after paying for dinner, because I don’t feel like pursuing things with her. People don’t need to be so dogmatic. I’m not saying you need to go on dinner dates to have success. But acting like going on a dinner date is an instant failure is a ludicrous take.
/r/seduction13/06/24 05:40 PM
2

absolutely wrong
/r/seduction13/06/24 05:37 PM
10

dinner isn’t simping. bad mentality.
/r/seduction13/06/24 05:37 PM
1

good luck. would be interested in an update either way.
/r/seduction11/06/24 07:34 PM
14

Got it. So first off her wanting butterflies/a spark to persist for a long term relationship is pretty normal so i wouldn’t react so negatively to being told she doesn’t feel that anymore. Yeah it probably stings, but there’s nothing wrong with her for wanting that Second, given that she’s said this but still seemed to go on about how attracted she is to you and the sex was good, you can possibly swing a fwb relationship. It won’t be a given and if it doesn’t turn out that way it doesn’t mean yo…
/r/seduction11/06/24 06:41 PM
24

you didn’t say a single time in this rant what kind of relationship you want with her. makes no sense to answer the question without knowing what you want.
/r/seduction11/06/24 05:13 PM
2

so easy. you say “btw i really like your vibe and would like to get to know you better. are you free next tuesday for a drink at XYZ at 7:30?”. you’re overthinking it
/r/seduction11/06/24 03:31 PM
79

this is the right advice fellas. emphasis on light touches at first. if she does scoot away, take the hint. if she doesn’t scoot away or put any distance between you, then you know you can start touching a bit more frequently, and a bit more intimately.
/r/seduction08/06/24 03:08 AM
3

you do not always need to start with hands lol. if that works for you, great. but that is far from a fundamental idea. i usually do upper back/lower back/shoulder, it works perfectly well. i’ve even been explicitly told that the way i touched early on upper back area at a bar was really nice. again, hands is fine. far from a rule.
/r/seduction08/06/24 03:06 AM
55

bit too dogmatic imo. reality is in the middle. with experience you can tell when a girl would be open to kissing on the first date, and in other situations it’s clear the girls into you but for one reason or another the moment didn’t present itself and instead of forcing it, you can just do it on the 2nd date.
/r/seduction08/06/24 03:03 AM
0

ah i see yeah i did skim it. if there’s literally nothing you can say i’ll either just like a picture without a comment (normally i’ll never ever do this), on the chance that she likes my profile. else you could just try to offer time and place right off the bat. typically the less effort they put in their profile the less likely they are to respond positively to much of anything, so just throw something low effort and see if they bite.
/r/seduction03/06/24 09:34 PM
3

Yes agreed 100%, which means the girls with not-bland profiles are significantly easier to come up something clever based on their profile for. At the end of the day it sounds like both our strategies are working, and that’s all that really matters :)
/r/seduction03/06/24 09:08 PM
2

yeah brother i said “imo” because its just my opinion, your way can totally work. not trying to say it can’t be done. being clever with an opener is half of the entertainment for me, and helps me punch above my weight, and will do the same for most guys. simple can work but you still have to take the conversation somewhere after she responds “pretty good how bout you?” to your opener.
/r/seduction03/06/24 08:23 PM
2

imo “how is it going” is bland as hell and CAN work, but it’s not a high percentage strategy to get the girls who are getting 10 more of those messages from a guy with just as good a profile as you banter/being funny/saying something out of the ordinary are the best ways to stand out
/r/seduction03/06/24 07:07 PM
2

comment or joke about her bio/photos exactly as you said make 1 more joke/comment/banter if she matched and responds if she responds positively after that 2nd comment, i just go to set up a date. she’s given enough interest at that point that she will say yes, or if she’s just on there for ego then she will filter herself out right there you can say something like “hey so tbh i prefer to skip the small talk and get to know someone in person rather than over text, how do we feel about that?” 4/5 …
/r/seduction03/06/24 07:05 PM
1

yeah maybe not first message for me but 2nd/3rd asking how they feel about skipping the small talk and preferring to meet someone in person to get to know them. 9/10 times they agree and then it’s trivial to close the date
/r/seduction25/05/24 04:27 PM
1

then you’re totally fine dude. yeah, you’ll have less success with 9s/10s, but you should have no problem pulling 7s and 8s if your ego can handle putting yourself out there and not having every single interaction end in “success”.
/r/seduction20/05/24 08:52 PM
4

you don’t look happy and are not giving off fun vibes. this isn’t a result of how you look it’s a result of how you’re presenting yourself. look at the camera and smile like you’re having a good time.
/r/seduction20/05/24 01:33 PM
16

main thing sounds like making sure you’re not some overly thirsty and needy dude. since you played it cool and had fun on your own, she was more genuinely interested later on
/r/seduction20/05/24 12:43 AM
31

depends how you’re showing interest. and also depends what they are looking for. you might be dating people looking for short-term relationships so when you start talking about long-term, that’s a no for them. you don’t need to play it cool you just need to not ask for too much too early (as in, don’t ask to be exclusive after 2 dates), and also communicate your intentions honestly and clearly while also maintaining that whatever happens in ok (as in, eventually saying something like “hey so i’v…
/r/seduction13/05/24 06:59 PM
1

no it’s not true.
/r/seduction11/05/24 10:08 PM
10

You're taking it way too personally. It sounds like you never even met this girl? And you expect her to be invested in some rando after 1 or 2 conversations? Your expectations are completely off out of the gate, and that's leading to you being frustrated over normal behavior by the girl. Also, its is NOT embarrassing and humiliating on you. Maybe you feel that way internally, but it does not look that way from the outside. You shot your shot and it didn't work. Move on with confidence. That is w…
/r/seduction11/05/24 05:50 PM
3

1 or 2 high quality photos will help you for sure. i wouldn’t have all of your profile be professional photos, that’s a bit weird. again, professional photos aren’t a requirement, but it should help with matches a decent amount. also, you can get sufficiently high quality photos with portrait mode on an iphone (or whatever the equivalent on an android is) if you go out with a friend and ask him to take a couple pics of you in the city/outside.
/r/seduction03/05/24 05:44 PM
2

depends to an extent how much the girl is already yours. assuming it’s someone you’ve been seeing and you already know she’s into you, i wouldn’t do much, personally speaking. let him shoot his shot and know that she’s going to come back to me over some rando dude. last thing i would do is make a big deal/scene, or say anything directly to the other dude like “back off”.
/r/seduction03/05/24 01:02 AM
1

you’re asking for answers but refuse any of them that aren’t “they’re only better looking than you”. honestly it’s really obvious it’s a vibe and mentality issue with you. but hey, just my 2 cents.
/r/seduction28/04/24 11:10 PM
1

they have a more attractive vibe and energy as well. you just don’t notice it, and completely default to the looks difference being the entirety of the difference.
/r/seduction28/04/24 06:17 PM
3

asking helps when you’re unsure her level of interest. this is relevant early on when she’s not going to be blowing up your phone with interest, EVEN IF she is actually interested. So asking her out is the easiest, simplest, and most effective way to completely get around that and get a clear answer on interest.
/r/seduction16/04/24 06:50 PM
3

if she says no to a date twice, without any effort to reschedule, move on. once is enough unless she gave a believable excuse, in which case a second shot is fine. don’t ask twice if she says no thanks the first time. you will minimize resentment by a) having things in your life that bring you happiness that don’t revolve around success with women and b) acknowledging, accepting, and understanding that two people can do nothing wrong and simply not have a deep enough connection to date. This mea…
/r/seduction16/04/24 06:48 PM
1

I’m not saying everyone on instagram is authentic. I’m saying some people aren’t even on instagram, and tons of people are on instagram but aren’t fake af. There’s an influencer population and influencer wanna-bes, but it’s very easy to avoid that stuff. And if you project the influencer-fake lifestyle onto the majority of people in real life, you’re doing yourself a massive disservice, and it will for sure warp your view of reality.
/r/seduction16/04/24 06:36 PM
1

Many many many people are not instagram fanatics. It’s a false premise to say “don’t be real, look at instagram”.
/r/seduction16/04/24 12:41 PM
1

this may be your play but this is not the only play, and is also not objectively optimal (maybe it’s optimal for you). for me, being my authentic self is easier, simpler, and more effective than any scripts/routines/fames. sure, there are some layers of game baked in: banter, kino, escalation, being vulnerable, etc., but ultimately just being a fun, genuine, and interesting person is what’s doing the heavy lifting.
/r/seduction16/04/24 04:34 AM
1

could either be seeing if you’re interested in her friend vs her, in which case saying something like “yeah she is cute, but i’m more into you/you’re more my type” will do well. On the flip side, she could be not into you and genuinely be trying to set you up with her friend. no one here knows which one it is given that there’s no context
/r/seduction07/04/24 11:34 PM
1

FYI for the noobs this is absolutely terrible advice
/r/seduction07/04/24 07:16 PM
1

i saw your other comment about english not being your first language, so it makes more sense why you wrote it that way. i would struggle a lot with the same thing if i was trying to do this in a second language! good luck and have fun.
/r/seduction02/04/24 07:23 PM
1

Got it. In that case then yes letting her know you’ll wait for her when she gets off the bus is nice. I took as like “let’s meet at this coffee shop 5 minutes away from where we’re getting drinks/dinner”, which was much more odd. I would definitely take out “regarding tomorrow”, and just make the “i’ve made the reservation” sound less formal (it currently sounds like an assistant or secretary citing an itinerary to his/her boss). So it’s just like “Hey for tomorrow i got us a reservation at 6 at…
/r/seduction02/04/24 06:09 PM
2

Sounds a bit too formal for my personal style, but if that’s how you are then you can say it like that. You typically will want more casual than formal tone. If you make it sounds like a business transaction that’s not attractive. Anyways, why are you trying to meet somewhere different before? Why aren’t you just meeting there?
/r/seduction02/04/24 05:15 PM
13

nah just text her the night before the date/morning of with a confirmation text. something basic like “hey we still on for tomorrow at 7?” then when she confirms just say “great, looking forward to it”. you don’t need to text, it sounds like you spent enough time together and the interest is there. especially since you don’t have anything specific that you want to talk about. you’ll just be texting to text and it’ll be kinda boring. EDIT: I’ll add that this assumes you’ve already specified time …
/r/seduction02/04/24 03:32 PM
2

that is also not a bad play. i can see both approaches working depending on the nuances of the situation.
/r/seduction27/03/24 02:09 AM
4

honestly the last hail mary you can take here is to basically say something like “hey i’m gonna be honest i know i messed up doing X, but i genuinely like you and want to see if this goes somewhere more. Are you still interested in that?” — anything like this to just put yourself out there with genuine feelings and see if that changes her perception. If that doesn’t, and it’s pretty 50/50 depending on how this all went down, then you know to move on because you put it all on the table already. Y…
/r/seduction26/03/24 08:06 PM
5

best way is to make a joke/comment/banter on a photo or prompt she has. say something clever/funny/both for 2 or 3 messages and if she responds to you (this is basically all the indicator of interest you need on an app, as a completely uninterested girl will simply not respond) then ask for her number in a smooth way based on the commentary so far. If she's responding with 1 word answers then she probly won't give her number but at that point nothing you would have said would have changed anythi…
/r/seduction22/03/24 01:46 AM
118

pretty much played it perfect. showed interest and intent without being needy. showed that you can handle not having sex or making out on the first date without any annoyance. kept your composure and played it cool. thats 80% of it if the general attraction is there.
/r/seduction21/03/24 04:59 AM
1

It’s all good my dude we have totally different perspectives, your entire thesis is wrong in my experience. Nbd tho, shared my 2 cents. Have a good one.
/r/seduction20/03/24 01:10 AM
2

Also going to disagree with the title in line with the other posters, who sound like they have a similar POV as me. I’ve been the one to tell women i don’t click with them or have a spark and so i don’t want to sleep with them. I’ve been fully comfortable with them and had rapport. Reality is two people can both be cool, and be comfortable with each other, and still not want to have sex. Lack of chemistry is totally real. Now, some people will say “lack of chemistry” when there is actually a lac…
/r/seduction19/03/24 11:34 PM
6

you don’t need to text as much. however, if the girl is enthusiastic and into it, it will not hurt you. i disagree with people saying it’s never in your favor. it can make the first date more exciting when you’ve actually had some conversation before hand. it sounds like the conversation is going well so you’re doing nothing wrong. however, if you’re running out of stuff to say then just slow down the conversation. you don’t have to keep the same rate up. you don’t need to keep her interested at…
/r/seduction13/03/24 10:50 PM
1

Bad take.
/r/seduction06/03/24 02:16 PM
1

I disagree. Of course a girl can do one of these things and still be interested. But that’s not the point of the post. There are no set in stone rules for any of this. However, there are general concepts and signals that guide interactions and indicate interest or disinterest, that will largely be true in the vast majority of cases. So, for those who are not familiar with what to look for from a girl in terms of interest, this is a very well put together starting place. If a girl does multiple o…
/r/seduction05/03/24 06:43 PM
2

This is hardly a problem. Is anyone here running out of options on hinge? Plenty of people on there to meet. There’s only time for so many dates.
/r/seduction05/03/24 04:22 AM
29

Largely disagree. I see massively more success on hinge than bumble/tinder given the fact that I can be clever/witty/funny with an opener and show personality. I would advise guys without much success to not believe that aspect of this post. Chat and personality are precisely what separates you from the other guys in the exact same looks range as you. This is how you punch up. That being said. Looks matter, and having good pictures matter. So make sure you invest in your looks and have good pict…
/r/seduction04/03/24 11:00 PM
59

This entire issue stems from your belief that you will be acting outwardly different from your internal intentions. Therefore a woman won’t know your true intentions, and will get hurt once she finds out the truth (you wanting short term). The solution is so obvious it hurts. You be upfront and honest with them and say you only want something short term. Then, the ones who would be hurt will decline, and the ones who are open to that will accept. Communication makes all the difference. Yes, some…
/r/seduction04/03/24 06:23 PM
1

?
/r/seduction04/03/24 01:06 AM
4

Way to completely misinterpret the post and my comment. Well done!
/r/seduction02/03/24 11:06 PM
1

I mean its not bad to ask for a social necessarily, but if a girl says no she doesn't give out socials to people she doesn't know better, my primary point is that that does not mean she's most likely cheating (or even the fling piece). To your point, at least where I'm at.
/r/seduction02/03/24 03:42 AM
5

this is a ridiculous take. plenty of girls don't like giving out socials to a guy they either haven't even been on a date with yet. Even if its only a few dates, some people don't give out their socials so readily.
/r/seduction02/03/24 03:10 AM
119

These are all genuinely accurate points. Every point is true, I'd argue everyone who dates a lot will agree with this list. Good post. Only to nitpick a bit, the "not do any of the following" is a biiiit too absolute. Lots of girls use emojis, but not all. And a lot of girls who use them will kind of wait a little bit and get more comfortable with you before using them. So if you don't see emojis right away don't strictly believe a girl isn't into you. These rules aren't truly ironclad, but they…
/r/seduction02/03/24 01:57 AM
5

It can be this. It can also be that there genuinely is no spark/chemistry. I sleep with some dates, which is obviously escalating physically, and i’m the one who ends up ending things bc i don’t feel enough spark/chemistry to go into a relationship with them. A lot of times the person didn’t do a single thing wrong, we just aren’t connecting enough to escalate the relationship, or to hang out consistently. No one has chemistry with everyone, just keep dating and it’s obvious when you vibe with s…
/r/seduction26/02/24 09:23 PM
6

First off of course is the general vibe and her receptiveness to you on the date. This is definitely not always clear though as some girls who are interested don't always make it super obvious, while on the flip side some girls who are not interested will still appear friendly on the date but secretly don't see it going anywhere, but won't be mean about it so it's not obvious. The cases where its obvious she's into you are easy, and over time as you date you get better at reading it. However, th…
/r/seduction24/10/22 09:23 PM
1

If she is snapping him and responding to stories, etc she is showing interest and now he is coming to a reddit forum confused. It can all be settled immediately by proposing a date again. It's very possible she was not initially into it but then changed her mind and is open now. Is that the MOST likely scenario? Not necessarily at all. However, why even waste time questioning it on his end? Just ask for the date and move on if she does not reciprocate again. Since there is a chance she DOES say …
/r/seduction20/10/22 03:35 PM
1

Asking a girl on a date is not needy lmao.
/r/seduction20/10/22 12:56 PM
2

Said this elsewhere but literally just ask her out again. Force her hand. If she is still unresponsive then you have your answer. She may have changed her mind and the timing could be right so just go for it. Either outcome is good: you get a date or you know to spend energy elsewhere. I doubt dragging it on longer would ever change the outcome of another date proposition.
/r/seduction19/10/22 08:40 PM
-1

Literally dude just ask her out again. She's shown additional interest again. You asking her out forces her hand and you get your answer. If she blows you off again, then you know she's just liking the attention/not looking for something serious or casual enough to even go on a date. On the flip side she might actually be interested and say yes to the date, which is a win. I would strike while its hot, don't drag it on on your end.
/r/seduction19/10/22 08:22 PM
1

??
/r/seduction07/10/22 10:52 PM
3

Totally with all of this. Don't just say you want an adventurous person in a prompt. Have pictures of yourself backpacking/visiting national parks. Show, don't tell.
/r/seduction07/10/22 02:14 PM
3

If you're at least cute you can have great success in OLD if you have a good profile + good banter + clever openers. Most guys don't have any of the three. If you're not even remotely cute and all your pictures are garbage selfies in the mirror, then yeah even good banter and clever openers won't get you anywhere. If you're cute but do not have a good profile, good banter/conversation, or a good opener, you will similarly get nowhere.
/r/seduction07/10/22 02:11 PM
2

There's no sense trying to recover a lot of conversations. You shoot your shot (in my case NOT with an opener like OP but rather with my own style). And if you don't get a positive response you move on. You don't try to drag girl to the finish line. The positive ones will jump on board early and it will be easy. It's not worth spending much extra time on the tough ones trying to win them over. It likely means they have someone else in their queue they are hitting it off better with. Easier for y…
/r/seduction07/10/22 02:09 PM
0

Personally I think its a ridiculous opener that will only work if you're really hot. I'm in the "cute but not hot category", I have clever/witty openers and good banter + a great profile so I have a lot of success on OLD. If I used that opener I would have nowhere near 30% success rate. Super glad it works for you but I would NOT recommend that opener for most guys personally. Even if they employ your very solid profile improvement tips. Just my 2 cents.
/r/seduction07/10/22 02:08 PM
3

We have totally similar style. Good advice here OP. One of mine is My Love Language is "pastries and physical touch" Funny bc the pastries is random, can segue to a bakery first date if she likes it, and gently sexualizes with physical touch. Gets surprisingly good responses. Plus you get to match with girls who like physical touch.
/r/seduction07/10/22 02:02 PM
6

Sometimes its better to let someone be introspective and reach a conclusion on their own, than it is to just tell them something they might instantly reject because they did not lead themselves there.
/r/seduction06/10/22 03:00 PM
1

I feel you. I can for sure get the sense that you know what you're doing more than most guys, and it makes sense we'll have some slight variance in our approaches. I agree that for your point 2, it reduces your "overhead" and streamlines your process. I have pretty solid text game/clever banter so I definitely leverage that to increase my success rate when asking for a number or date. Your way will absolutely net you dates at the end of the day. The only concern is if you could've gotten some on…
/r/seduction06/10/22 05:16 AM
1

For sure, I'm mostly agreeing with you. The key point is that being "cute" is enough to get your foot in the door and give you the opportunity to shoot your shot and have good to great success, even in OLD. I'm with in that I'm essentially never being singled out at a bar and approached by hot women. But I get how women on dating apps even by just being "cute" because I bring the other good stuff to the table, and cute is good enough to get the chance. Some people think they need to be hot to ge…
/r/seduction05/10/22 08:48 AM
1

Hinger > Tinder. I'm cute but not hot, and I shoot up on Hinge. However, it's because I have a good profile (OP's point 1), and am clever/witty with openers based on the girls prompts/pictures. This makes me stand out. I believe most guys can massively improve their profile, then its on them to be interesting and funny to seal the deal.
/r/seduction05/10/22 08:41 AM
3

I do well in OLD and get with very attractive women. This advice is mostly very solid and consistent with advice I share. ​ Points 1 and 3 in particular are SPOT ON. Point 2 is a bit more aggressive than myself. I look to do a quick banter/say something witty then look for ~2 positive responses, then suggest time and place for a date. This is going to be better than going DIRECTLY to time and place 9/10 times. Certain profiles or instances time and place immediately can work, but demonstrating y…
/r/seduction05/10/22 08:40 AM
11

Be fun, charismatic, and confident in yourself on the date. If she is not being standoffish, slowly physically escalate over the date. Break the touch barrier early and often, but only very lightly. Hug when you meet, when conversation is flowing touch her leg when sitting next to each other, when walking through a door hand on small of her back. This will build comfort and intimacy between you two. Strong eye contact during conversation. If she hovers within your close proximity when you're sit…
/r/seduction05/10/22 06:39 AM
2

As someone who falls in the "cute, but not hot" category, I largely agree with this but not fully. I think it's very possible to fall into the one-night-stand material category if you have the right vibe and confidence to "make up" for not being the most physically attractive person in the room, though it's true someone looking for just the hottest guy physically will pass over you. I think you've overstated the "most likely to be viewed as serious relationship" a little bit. That being said, sp…
/r/seduction05/10/22 03:31 AM
1

Ok I'm simply providing a counterpoint that online apps are not only for shy people that don't socialize. No need to take it so personally. I want others to know they can make OLD work, even if it doesn't for you personally. I respect your opinion.
/r/seduction21/09/22 01:21 PM
2

Not true, I'm social IRL and have great success OLD. Granted, I was not always successful, it took trial and error to understand what works and how to stand out.
/r/seduction20/09/22 03:04 PM
1

You need to be clever and witty. If you make her laugh 1-2 times then ask for a number, then make her laugh another 1 time then ask for a date. This is my strategy and it works very well. Be clever with her prompts. If you are sending a message, ask yourself if you think 10 other guys have said the same thing. If its an obvious response you won't stand out.
/r/seduction20/09/22 03:04 PM
2

Absolutely not a stupid move. She's already showed very clear interest, he will have zero problem setting up a date. And he's shown he has his boundaries and prefers to shop alone, and that he won't give that up for just a girl. That will honestly work in his favor as its clear he values his time and spends it intentionally.
/r/seduction08/09/22 05:28 PM
7

in some cases, there's absolutely nothing you can do. you gotta accept those cases as pre-determined. In other cases it's on your to display to the friend that you're not a douchey creep. If you can convince her (not in specific words but in actions and certain hints) that you are a respectable guy who will look out for her friend and keep her safe, then you have a good chance of getting the green light. Alternatively, just get the girl you likes number and make moves on the date you set up.
/r/seduction08/09/22 12:25 AM
1

You're just taking solid, regular advice and saying its bad in extremes. Literally any advice is bad in extremes. Strong eye contact doesn't mean stare at someone without blinking for 15 minutes. Nor does talk passionately about your interests mean don't shut up for 15 minutes while talking in massive detail regardless of the other persons reaction to what you're saying.
/r/seduction18/08/22 10:10 PM
4

Just say "I'll tell you when we go out to dinner, when are you free?"
/r/seduction18/08/22 08:04 PM
2

I think it's totally ok for you to bring up the relationship talk. I wouldn't listen to folks saying let her do it, doesn't make any sense. Especially given all the amazing signs it seems you're getting. That being said, 2 weeks is a liiiiiittle bit soon. However, sometimes people fall hard and quick. if you're pretty confident the feeling is mutual then you should feel comfortable bringing it up. A slight modification would be to frame it as being "exclusive", and seeing her response. That's a …
/r/seduction18/08/22 08:01 PM
1

Totally disagree. Holding eye contact and having things you're passionate about come off as attractive. Obviously staring at someone and literally never looking away is horrifying, and is not the same as holding strong eye contact in general. Imagine a guy being turned off by a girl talking passionately about what interests her. That's absurd. People talking about things they care about is hot, as long as its balanced by also asking and listening to what the other person is passionate about.
/r/seduction18/08/22 07:53 PM
11

This is ridiculous. OP, you can absolutely sleep with a woman more than once a week and not end up in a relationship. It just takes this crazy thing called *communication*. And depends on what she is looking for. If she is looking for a relationship, sleeping once a week will end when it becomes clear you're not. If she is ok without a relationship, then you've communicated both of your desires and will be on the same page, sleeping together as much as either of you wants without any concerns.
/r/seduction18/08/22 07:50 PM
6

No, it sounds like a good way to sound confident and have things actually going on in your life besides trying to pick up women. If you can't hold eye contact and talk passionately about your interests without coming off as a psycho, that's a personal problem that needs work.
/r/seduction16/08/22 11:23 PM
13

100%. I'm constantly called "sweet" for things I do. That's part of my personality, but it's not entirely who I am, nor does anyone owe me anything for being nice or sweet. If you are nice/sweet and ALSO have a confident personality to go along with it, you're golden. If you're only nice but not confident, you're getting passed on.
/r/seduction11/08/22 08:29 PM
0

You are all over the place from "dates are simple to get" to "out of 1000 women I connected with 5" to "I don't message my matches enough". How are you dating 1000 women and giving them the time of day to see if you connect with them if you aren't messaging your matches??
/r/seduction10/08/22 10:55 PM
2

Like I said elsewhere, don't think your experience is remotely an indictment of online dating. Ridiculous to claim its dead.
/r/seduction10/08/22 10:51 PM
3

I don't get what you're saying. In another comment you suggested it's that you are not interested in them because the deep connection isn't there. Not because they aren't interested in you. Also its ridiculous to think if they are interested they will let you know without flirting and making it clear you are interested. 9/10 times it is on the man to escalate and show romantic interest and for the woman to follow.
/r/seduction10/08/22 10:50 PM
2

Ok but that has nothing to do with OLD then. You're just saying you are picky with who you date. Same here. I go on tons of dates and extremely rarely do I make any deeply meaningful connection. That is life. You are not going to deeply connect with most other people.
/r/seduction10/08/22 10:48 PM
42

Yeah I do this often. Its just dating man. Lot's of girls I meet I'm open to short term flings, but not long term commitment. Even girls I have surface level fun with, and even share intimate conversations with.
/r/seduction10/08/22 10:45 PM
1

That has little to nothing to do with online dating. It's not like all the deep connection women aren't on the apps.
/r/seduction10/08/22 10:43 PM
1

You have to make her interested in you. It seems you could improve a lot in terms of getting from match to date.
/r/seduction10/08/22 10:42 PM
1

I exclusively OLD and do very well, punching above my weight looks-wise. It's likely your profile is bland, your flirt game is weak, or you are not great at getting from match to date.
/r/seduction10/08/22 10:40 PM
12

Listen here's my take as someone who exclusively uses online dating with good success and is late 20s. Whether a girl will be FWB with you is largely pre-determined before you meet. She will either be open to that or not. If she is open to it you can definitely screw it up by not having a good personality (or having a good personality but not meshing with hers), or by being bad in bed, or by having bad communication. Here's how it usually goes for me. Get a date from Hinge. Go on the date and ha…
/r/seduction09/08/22 08:51 PM
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