Exhausted from Rejection

robofrogmagus · 2024-10-29T18:20:53+00:00

Higher rejection is normal and expected when you get out of college. Social circle is way easier to get girls than other means. It is just part of life.

1 out of 20 is a much higher conversion rate than 99% of guys. You are just experiencing whiplash from the difference in setting from college to the real world. Get used to it.

Now about dates, it seems like you are just being friendly and not escalating sexually. Girls won't respect you if you don't try to escalate, they will either see you as a coward or think that something is wrong with her. They want to feel desired. 50% success rate during dates is usually expected if you are good looking and do everything right. It seems to me that you are not being flerty, not trying to kiss her and not trying to take her to you place. Be more foreward and you will be rewarded.

hal64 · 2024-10-30T03:11:46+00:00

After we hug goodbye, it's been radio silence. This one definitely hurt my ego since I never even remotely found her attractive in the first place

If your completely disnterested in seducing her it will show and will not turn her on. If you would barely considered it if she got on her knees and begged then just leave. I had girls sitting on my bed where I was like nope I can't fuck you. Not turned on at all. You don't have to be nice about it. Leave, or give her a chance to impress you if she can't end the date. Playfully challenge her about it it shouldn't serious.

southparkslope · 2024-10-29T18:22:09+00:00

I think you’re telling yourself that as an excuse to really give up and feel awful. Luck? Inflation?

Sex as end target - you need to reevaluate this as a goal. Choose intimacy and vulnerability and see how you can grow through interactions.

You’re older and wiser than what you’re going for.

PeterLamb87 · 2024-10-30T07:59:50+00:00

If you are good looking and have plenty of dates but very little success, you are likely being to friendly. Guide the conversation but let her do most the talking, use negs rarely but do use them on stuff that wont hurt her, if she is fat don't call her fat, make her laugh and escalate as much as the situation allows.

PD: Being a womanizer is not as cool as it sounds; its expensive, its tiring, damages your pair bonding, and you end up dealing with a bunch of toxic women; date aiming for a family, is fulfilling, and the sex you get in the process is much better. I've done both, and I don't regret choosing the second in the end.

WinRaRtrailInfinity · 2024-10-29T23:09:26+00:00

Seems like your whole life is looks based.

OkDrawing5069 · 2024-10-29T19:58:39+00:00

Well thats the deal, you were in college. Its a place where girls want what you want, and they usually know you or know someone from your circle. If you were a hot guy in college, you had certain social proof, you had many girls and the word spread around. Now youre in a place where u start from 0 and you dont have any social proof, its how it works. Having tons of girls doesnt neccesarily equal that you are set for life, things change very quickly. Let me give u an example, who are the guys that get tons of girl these days, rappers, actors, guys with money that have social media statutes, aka... SOCIAL PROOF. Girls are crazy for that, and you had that in college in abundance. If you want to replicate your past experiences do the same exact thing u did but on a new place, like join a local book club or a run club, somewhere where there are alot of people and you can get your social status up to be high tier person in a group. This is very similiar to guys who peak in high school and is what every girl wants, just to not be able to find anyone 10 years later. They remain in a place of past and romantize it thinking how it all went down the road for them, while they just gotta go hit up new places, especially if they are still a hot dude. People will recommend to go to clubs and bars but I never found those to be high ROI, just because a girl is there to usually get validation from many options, so youre never gonna be a high ticket for her, where as in a normal situation like a run club you can be that new guy she enjoy talking to which might end up in something.

Anyways this is just what showed the best for me, as always take any advice with a grain of salt.

chips_and_hummus · 2024-10-29T20:45:03+00:00

pretty simple, if you don’t struggle to get dates with the type of women you want, but can’t seem to get a second date or escalate, the issue is with what you’re doing on the dates and how you’re making women feel. to be blunt, it sounds like you’re not coming across nearly as attractive as you think you are.

Several_Ad_8363 · 2024-10-29T18:14:34+00:00

What happened when you went for the kiss at the end of the date that made it turn into just a hug?

ChardGlad8704 · 2024-10-30T03:09:58+00:00

What is your desired outcome? To hookup with 10 out of 20? To find a girls friend? Being brutally honest — you might be a douche and not realize it. Take a genuine interest in those you’re interested in. When I spoke to women and approached wanting to genuinely understand their life experience, the “numbers went up.” But do it because it’s fun to get to know people, not to get laid more

WhatsTheAnswerDude · 2024-10-30T03:32:50+00:00

So it depends. I actually immediately feel a lot of your frustration about dating. I've been with over 70 women and like literally two years ago I feel like everything became so much harder. I have no idea wtf ot is. I've talked to SEVERAL woman that have said they'd wish men would approach them, but ive literally gone zero for like TWENTY in the last few years. It's been insanely frustrating and exhausting. I've never seen it be this hard. And it sucks cause all I want is some damn intimacy.

However...

If most of your lays came during college though, life unfortunately does get a bit harder after college and it's harder to find/meet people over time. That college environment kind of might have skewed your results or kinda didn't show you a true representation of what those would actually be like after school....so it's hard to say.

It's also possible you cruised through on being 6 2 and definitely didnt fully develop out your personality or your social skills as optimally as you should have or you think you did, if that makes sense

Hmuniz32 · 2024-10-30T13:23:37+00:00

What type of dates are you going to? Like coffee dates? Most girls on dating apps don’t like that. Some just want to have a fun time and possibly f*ck. Maybe try going out for drinks? It also helps to lighten up and make things more fun

Ok_Raisin_9844 · 2024-11-02T00:54:32+00:00

Maybe you lack personality? Are you into cool hobbies? College has been over for a while

KeepMirinBrah · 2025-02-08T07:35:12+00:00

Were you in a frat?

Karoshi31 · 2024-10-30T01:10:30+00:00

Can confirm 1 out of 20 close rate is insanely good for dating apps in 2024. Majority of women are on dating apps just for attention. The best way to get women is social circle. If you know anything about sales social circle are like warm leads ,where dating apps are super cold leads.

KoleSekor · 2024-10-29T19:25:47+00:00

Obviously I'm working with incomplete information but I have some theories why you might be getting rejected.

There's an underlying energy women can feel from you that detemines how much you actually like them. How special you think they are. If your energy is TOO nonchalant, energy that you only moderately like them, and/or you're only worried about hookups, they'll sense that and become less interested.

I also understand you can't put them on a pedestal, either. It's walking a fine line.

Feel free to DM me and I will give you some free coaching if you're interested.

Fantastic-Willow-754 · 2024-10-29T19:04:05+00:00

You have a sample bias. If you treat a girl you met from a dating app as if a girl from college campus, you'd get rejected. I also commit this mistake sometimes.

The reason is, 90% of the girls that goes on dates from dating apps would see you as a beta male if you treat them right. They are not used to it and they don't deserve that treatment. They want you to be an asshole and lead the situation into sex as quickly as possible.

On the other hand, nice girls from college campus value the intimacy and respect. Not all of them but the odds are better. Depending on the girl, change the attitude.

ponysniper2 · 2024-10-30T02:53:24+00:00

Its more than likely the energy you are giving off. Woman later on in life are looking for someone to be serious and committed. They've already had their fun and want someone who actually fits the "hubby" category. If you're good looking and acting like the date is whatever, like you're only there for fun, they will read on this and filter you out based off whatever reasons they have. Its best to be straight up about intentions from the get go.

"Im not looking for a relationship, just fun" , "im looking for something serious". You'll get sex much more easily or know they aren't about it and waste less time on girls who aren't dtf.

However, you'll find that girls are much more down for sex if you actually get to know them and actually show them that you care and can make them feel safe. Make them feel seen, heard, understood, supported, respected, and of course, sexy and beautiful.

Title	Exhausted from Rejection
Author	EdUNC-
Upvotes	17
Comments	21
Date	October 29, 2024 6:06 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1gf15yz/exhausted_from_rejection/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/exhausted-from-rejection.1534329 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534329

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