claireauriga Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	How can I overcome my jealousy so it stops ruining my relationships? So when you get those feelings, you're having a bunch of subconscious thoughts that lead to the emotions. Working out what those thoughts are can help you challenge and change them. For example, when you imagine your partner working as a stripper, what are you thinking about her? And then, crucially, what are you thinking about yourself? For example, you might think, "My partner is sexually available to many men," and then, "That means that I am not attractive to her," and then, "That means I ha…	/r/ExRedPill	21/09/19 09:55 AM
2	The manosphere has ruined my dating life The nerdy guys who are happy with themselves tend to join healthy, inclusive, progressive, nerdy communities where they make friends with and date nerdy women.	/r/ExRedPill	03/09/19 09:10 AM
2	I hold my hands up. I am another hopeless nice guy who has spent all of his twenties with background depression and unfulfilment because I can't get laid. Help? In my opinion, it's hard to control the spark of sexual/romantic attraction. I don't know a way to make it happen. So it seems to me that the best option is to strive to be a good friend who is fun to be with, so that you a) have an enriching life anyway, and b) reduce unpleasant traits that would stop someone who did have the spark from wanting to date you. Enjoy the things you enjoy and share that experience with like-minded people. Treat yourself and others with kindness. Be honest and compas…	/r/ExRedPill	23/08/19 10:51 AM
3	If game doesn't work, what does? There's a phrase which goes 'play stupid games, win stupid prizes'. Your personality and flirting will attract compatible people and responses. If you use adversarial, manipulative tactics, you will attract people with adversarial, manipulative, maladapted attitudes towards relationships. If you are comfortable and happy with yourself and your life, you will attract people who are also comfortable and happy with themselves. Less high-flying excitement, but less drama. If you're clingy and desper…	/r/ExRedPill	03/07/19 09:04 AM
4	Just got dumped because I showed too much affection. It sounds like you were doing affectionate things because they made you feel good, and you weren't checking in enough about whether your partner was reciprocating and also feeling good about them. Each person has different preferences about how they like to express and receive affection, and how quickly they like to escalate those expressions. It's totally okay to express your affection. It's great that being affectionate makes you feel good. You've just got to check in with your partner to make…	/r/ExRedPill	27/03/19 09:53 AM
7	Q4W: when does being too nice to your partner become a turn off? So it comes down to two parts, for me: the foundation and the action. The foundation is that your partner is capable (or committed to being capable) of finding happiness in many ways, and is not completely dependent on you for their self-worth and happiness. And you need to strive to be the same. That means that everything you choose to share and do for each other is a choice, not an obligation or an attempt at making yourselves feel like a worthy human being. The action is that they then do nic…	/r/ExRedPill	25/03/19 11:24 AM
3	I'm in the process of going full red pill, why shouldn't I? OP, it sounds like there are real problems in your relationship causing you both unhappiness, and you're looking for a solution. RP offers a 'solution' but it's one that pushes you closer and closer to abusive behaviour, superficially getting your needs met but really just establishing patterns of lies, games and transactions that hurt your partner and, more subtly, you. It's good to want to feel like your opinions are important to your partner. It's good to want to feel like they trust you and …	/r/ExRedPill	29/11/18 11:01 AM
5	Could need some insights (Ranty) There are people who play games, try to fit all relationships into a stereotypical framework, and who neither communicate their needs clearly or expect their partners to do so. There are people who enter into relationships based on trying to figure out what makes them happy and finding someone who is a good, compatible partner to find that happiness with. The kind of relationship you end up in depends on the kind of person you are, and who you seek out for your partners. Red Pill, PUA, etc are s…	/r/ExRedPill	08/08/18 09:18 AM
1	No faith in long term relationships How can you trust your partner to make sensible choices? Only date someone who is emotionally mature, and learn emotional competence skills yourself. Understanding your needs, communicating effectively and building strong, stable relationships are all skills people can learn. Some people have a head start because they grew up surrounded by examples of emotional maturity, and others may find it harder if they haven't seen many examples of emotionally secure and competent adults in their lives, bu…	/r/ExRedPill	20/07/18 08:35 AM
4	The parts I DO think are true the question isn't why physical appearance should matter, its that it just does But does it? The arguments about biology and 'good genes' don't hold up when you consider that humans are sentient beings capable of making decisions not based on instinct. And the idea that it's the dominant thing that governs relationship forming and compatibility does not hold up when you consider all the important things that make a relationship worth being in. Physical appearance is one of the first things we no…	/r/ExRedPill	09/07/18 07:02 AM
5	The parts I DO think are true sometimes i feel like the "more comfortable, secure" argument is just trying to look positively at a sad fact because there's that can be done to stop it Had my first relationship at 23. It was definitely exciting to experience a reciprocated crush. But I can definitely say that, more than six years in, I value the love and happiness that being around this person brings me, and the warmth of the security of knowing we're a good team who help each other through life, way more than the giddy thril…	/r/ExRedPill	08/07/18 06:37 PM
9	The parts I DO think are true Here's a few starting points that immediately jump to mind: We are undoubtedly influenced by our biology. However, as human beings, we also have the ability to change and control our thought processes and, through them, our subconscious thinking habits and impulses. The fact that this ability exists is proven by multiple things, such as the mere fact that different cultures exist (your culture trains you to think in a certain way; if it was all biology then there wouldn't be different cultures),…	/r/ExRedPill	08/07/18 06:32 PM
5	I still fear it's (at least some of it) is true Humans are not all the same. For some people, the urges that drive cheating are stronger and more active than those that drive healthy, stable relationships. For some people, it's the other way round. There are plenty of people out there who find stability, emotional security, respect, validation, and consistent loving affection to be greater motivators than status or novelty. And there is plenty of logic behind why those security-based things make sense from an evolutionary perspective as well.	/r/ExRedPill	06/06/18 08:21 PM
1	Showing insecurity to a women is game over? I think OP is saying that you shouldn't ask your partner to help with your personal issues until you've already got a plan in place for what you can do to help yourself.	/r/ExRedPill	06/06/18 08:30 AM
1	Fear of cheating (GF going out at night) Jealousy is tough to deal with, because jealousy is really about something we are unhappy with in ourselves, which creates fear, but it's projected onto another person so it's hard to realise what you actually need to do to resolve things. What are you afraid of happening? What message will you tell yourself if it does? Is it something you might do, but you don't like that you might do it? What do I believe about people who do that? Do I think my partner is that kind of person? If so, why am I w…	/r/ExRedPill	31/05/18 06:16 PM
2	Trp and masculinity (relativly long) You will find someone who compliments the balance that you have. To add on to this: TRP and indeed any kind of dating strategy is sort of self-selecting. TRP will only work on women who are a) struggling to make good choices because of their own issues or b) genuinely into a hierarchical, gender-prescribed relationship. It immediately repels many other people, e.g. those looking for an equal partnership, or those who have interests outside traditional gender roles. A happy relationship requires …	/r/ExRedPill	29/05/18 05:40 PM
2	Unconditional security makes women bored? I think you're talking about two types of security here. Personal security is being able to love yourself without external validation. It is an attractive quality because it means that whenever your partner chooses to lean or rely on you, they are doing so out of choice, because they like and respect and trust you, and it feels good to have someone feel that way about you. However, we are all human, and no one is 100% personally secure. As long as someone is healthy and non-manipulative about as…	/r/ExRedPill	26/05/18 09:53 AM
4	If game doesn't work, where am I going to meet girls? That's what I'm saying. Go out and have fun with others, rather than waiting to ask some stranger on a date first.	/r/ExRedPill	01/02/18 10:46 PM
6	If game doesn't work, where am I going to meet girls? you are voluntarily limiting your dating pool to only those you share experiences with. What else are you going to base the foundation of a good relationship on? A relationship doesn't happen without building shared experiences - which is the point of asking for a date - so why not go out and do things you enjoy anyway, and encounter people that way? By the time you've decided to ask someone on a date you'll already have a basic idea of compatibility. If you don't ever go out and do things with …	/r/ExRedPill	01/02/18 08:11 PM
6	If game doesn't work, where am I going to meet girls? Girls generally don't appreciate being approached by a stranger the same way a guy might. That's really vague, please could you elaborate? Is 'hey, I know this is forward/random, but I thought you looked nice and wanted to say hi' a valid approach? Here's a perspective on why some women may not find it flattering - you're approaching them solely based on 'I find you visually appealing', rather than because of a shared fun experience or liking their personality or something along the lines of 'li…	/r/ExRedPill	01/02/18 06:31 PM