~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Many of our relationship problems have been solved by having separate bedrooms.I always liked the idea of separate bedrooms but before marriage I really love the treat of getting to sleep over. My parents didn't have separate bedrooms, but they had separate spaces. We had an extra few rooms in our family home and after getting the mother-in-law suite and office set up, my dad made a man-cave in the basement with a desk, computer, and his wood working tools, and my mom turned a tiny bedroom upstairs into her own space with a couch, tv, photos of her friends, and scrapbookin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/03/16 03:59 PM |
| 3 | What do I tell him?!No worries. I can empathize with you. It is ok to to want something. What's not ok is to expect that you get everything you want. If he asks you what you want, be honest and positive. It's ok to know what you want, and if he asks, to be honest about those desires. But don't make it a big deal if he doesn't give you what you want, because you're not entitled to it. If you stay positive though, he's very likely to want to make you happy. He just needs to be in control of that. Don't demand or nag.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/16 08:17 PM |
| 4 | What do I tell him?!hat's not what he's asking, though - he wants to know what you want for your birthday, not everyday. Don't use your birthday as a way to bring up the whole I'm-so-lonely thing with him again. Good point here. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/16 08:12 PM |
| 10 | Plan BI absolutely agree that they value traits like faithfulness, non sluttiness, and not promiscuous and that "loyal" and "good family" are socially acceptable, but I also think the term "loyal" connotes a certain element of unwavering respect; whereas the term "faithful" implies an emotional investment and that there is a certain faith that things will work out/she'll get something in return. Loyal also covers more than just sexual fidelity- a loyal woman has her man's back, never speaks badly abou… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/16 04:20 PM |
| 1 | What are you effectively doing in your world to have better relationships?Are you practicing empathy? Yes. Are you really trying to understand the opposite sex and respect it? Yes. Are you teaching whoever you can to respect the others? Ehh, no. But when my roommate comes to me with relationship advice ("I'm scared he's going to screw up valentine's day") I will generally try to get her to see it from his side and respect ("Well what are you doing for him? Maybe you should do something nice for him, too") Are you fighting against prejudice and misconceptions? Sometime… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/16 04:14 PM |
| 9 | Plan BNever forget, loyalty is everything to a high value man and the smallest of things can test that. It is NOT a sign of insecurity. Feminists just give that excuse to throw a useful wrench into your thought process. It is a sign of masculinity to value loyalty. Disregard this and it means disrespect toward your husband. When my brother and his friends talk about how good a girlfriend in the group is, one of the first traits to ALWAYS come up is "she's loyal." Not faithful, not "not a slut"/"not pr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/16 02:13 PM |
| 3 | What do I tell him?!"I would be the happiest birthday girl if I could spend the evening with you" or "I would love to go out and see ___ (or try _____) with you" Focus on what you want (a date with him) and not what you don't want (loneliness/lack of attention) to make it positive instead of negative | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/16 02:09 PM |
| 2 | What do I tell him?!I would like for him to surprise me. I think this is a bit unreasonable here. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/16 02:06 PM |
| 3 | Married, pregnant... And being hit on?So much this. I don't really have much to add to this thread since everyone seemed to pinpoint what stood out to me, but OP, in the future, just think to yourself "Would I be ok if the roles were reversed" and if it seems weird then definitely don't do it. I would be pretty insecure if I saw that exchange from my husband to a new, young coworker who "is good looking and takes care of herself physically" | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/16 05:32 PM |
| 3 | Single RPWers - How do you keep your faith?I think /u/PhantomDream09 made an excellent point about pacing. Really get to know a guy and build anticipation. The other thing I like to remind myself is that I have a pretty good life even when I don't have a boyfriend. I will always live a good life as long as I have wifi, friends, wine, and the gym. This helps me keep a relaxed, outcome independent attitude that eases anxiety. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/03/16 08:23 PM |
| 1 | Single RPWers - How do you keep your faith?It also really helped that I never met anyone for coffee until after getting to know them fairly well via messages (and at least one phone conversation first). Mind you, I'm not talking about brief text exchanges. We actually had fully-fledged conversations about a myriad of topics. OMG this so much | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/03/16 08:19 PM |
| 6 | When Timelines Go WrongI mean you've accomplished what I feel many women would see as the main thing or even end goal- marriage. If you trust that he's a good captain, you should let go and relax about your timeline. It seems you're still in your projected age range for kids. I think a 1-2 year delay for those other things will be very minimal in the grand scheme of things. I also feel like a lot of this is out of my control, which makes it more frustrating. You can't control it, that's right, so take a step back and … | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/03/16 03:31 PM |
| 1 | New scenario: Suppose your SO could be 100% in two places at once. How would you feel if he started using the extra time with someone else?How I feel as well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/16 03:38 PM |
| 1 | New scenario: Suppose your SO could be 100% in two places at once. How would you feel if he started using the extra time with someone else?I'd still be jealous. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/16 03:37 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?almost instantaneously the two become two different people, no longer 100% the same. With each passing second, the clone becomes less like my partner. I mean even in the lab room there's not much of a difference. Obviously the biggest difference would be that you're not dating one...so any differences you see can sort of be blamed on the fact that they're not with you. That'd be weird. I agree it's not the only difference but certainly the most significant. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/16 03:34 PM |
| 2 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Yes memories as well. Thanks for the response | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/16 03:33 PM |
| 1 | New scenario: Suppose your SO could be 100% in two places at once. How would you feel if he started using the extra time with someone else?One mind controlling both halves, yes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/16 03:31 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Yeah that's why I made the new thread. Too much varying thoughts on how close a "clone" is to yourself so I redesigned the situation to make it closer. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/16 03:29 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?So interesting how our feelings are exactly the opposite. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/16 03:29 PM |
| 1 | New scenario: Suppose your SO could be 100% in two places at once. How would you feel if he started using the extra time with someone else?Yes. I'd imagine I think a lot of girls and/or those identifying as polyamorous might think like this | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/16 03:27 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?If your SO could be fully in two places at once, would you be ok if they spend their other dimension with someone else, since you are still getting all of the benefits/time you are used to? Because I'm not trying to get hung up on the definition of clone here. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 11:11 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Lol yeah I mean my intention was to think about stuff like that on a deeper scale. I don't identify as polyamory, and I'm just so in awe at how people can be in open relationships and not get jealous. When I read those subreddits I usually see that the person rationalizes it by saying something like "I'm not really jealous of losing them...I'm more just jealous that they got to go on an awesome date and I missed them when they were gone and wish I had been part of the fun, as well." So if that's… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 11:08 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?But if we could get her to never see us again, that would be swell. I mean...exactly. I think most people would agree it'd be less problematic with a clone involved. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 11:04 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?My aunts grew up together, got married on the same day, lived a few houses down from one another. Inasmuch as it is possible for two separate people to have the same memories, that was the case with them. It was the same with the boys. Double wedding; both married flight attendants; each has two kids; both are EMTs. Both sets of twins have been inseparable throughout their lives. (Well, my aunts were separated when one of them died a few decades ago.) So in my experience, no, it is not unusual f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 11:03 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?then that's something she should work on regardless of the clone. Right, but the presence of the clone brings it to light. This is absolutely a twin. My mother has identical twin sisters. One of them has identical twin sons. This is exactly what an identical twin is. You should have but you might not have. I mean how many guys who start TRP are surprised that their gf cheated? Pretty much all of them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 10:11 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Yes well then you actually have the exact response I'd expect from someone in the non-monogamous camp. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 10:06 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Ah my bad. You're right. I guess the my follow up questions to others were asking for that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 10:05 PM |
| 0 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?where if one couple is happy that must mean that the other couple is not. I never said this, but in my examples I've asked how you would feel if one of the couples were in fact happier. This is absolutely a twin. My mother has identical twin sisters. One of them has identical twin sons. This is exactly what an identical twin is. So you're saying that your two aunts have the same preferences, same tastes in men, same exact memories??? Are your cousins exactly the same in their taste in women? Do … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 10:04 PM |
| 0 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?But hey if I fundamentally change who my SO is so I can go along with the answer you're looking for, I really wouldn't care. I mean wouldn't your SO's clone not want to date you since you're already dating someone? Actually this is interesting. I think if I were the one cloned, I wouldn't be jealous if my SO had sex with my clone but not me. But if my SO were cloned and the clone had sex with another girl, I'd be jealous. That's how I feel at least. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:53 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?then she would be with me just like the other The question asks how you'd feel if she weren't dating you. that would be cheating and I'd get rid of her. So you'd be mad, correct? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:51 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Right. So my point is that they will change without you in their life. But this change happens AFTER they are cloned- not at birth- so really the only thing different is in fact whether or not they are dating you. What if it's for the better? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:50 PM |
| 0 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?I mean it's more a thought experiment and less of a real world thing. And the question asks you to imagine how you'd feel if the clone dated someone else, not you. You're just avoiding answering the question by changing it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:49 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?i guess it never occured to me there werent 1000 women my husband could theoretically be as happy or happier with. I'm not saying there aren't 1000 other women. In fact I'm specifically saying there are. And also that watching it unfold would hurt me. I'd like to think that in our immediate environment and in our social circle, I am the best possible fit for my husband/I have the ability to make him the happiest. If he gets cloned, and his clone starts dating some other girl in our social circle… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:26 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?I don't mean "genetic clone." I mean emotional, genetic, behavioral, etc. clone. Twins can have different sets of friends, different environments, etc. who will shape who they are and they might have different opinions, preferences, etc. on things. The clone will not (immediately after cloning). I would not be jealous if my SO had an identical twin and the twin were dating someone else. I might not even be attracted to his twin if he has a different personality. The clone I would be jealous of. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:23 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?I mean it was just an example. The question itself was not about bjs. But I don't see a difference. She is acting one way with you and her clone acts a different way with someone else. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:22 PM |
| 2 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?lol no same age. same everything. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:21 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Say your clone finds someone else. Suppose you see your clone is happier with that someone else (or just acts more affectionate, sexual, etc.) than your partner acts with you. Idk that would make me jealous. Suppose my bf hated social media and I was slightly self conscious that he didn't post many pictures of us, but didn't want to nag him about it. Then he's cloned. Then his clone starts posting fb pictures with his new gf all the time on facebook, even though my bf would rather not put our re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:20 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?I mean I guess if you are truly getting everything you want with your wife and you are 100% happy and there is no room for improvement whatsoever, than you will not feel insecure/jealous/envious of how the clone treats your partner because you are 100% happy. I mean what if you could tell the clone simply liked the other person more than your partner liked you? I suppose this is a better question for those who are maybe not married. Hmm. Idk. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:18 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Is that the one with steve erckel? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:09 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?lol similar thing happened to my mom and this other lady. She kept trying to say hi in the grocery store and felt totally snubbed when the lady ignored her. But I mean this HAS to happen often right? That lady should have acknowledged my crazy mother waving and explained that she was a twin. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:08 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Ok well agree to disagree I guess. I personally would be hurt, because yes, maybe he's not my husband, but he represents what my husband would be if I weren't around, and in that sense, not completely different. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 09:00 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?genetically the same. I'm saying more than genetically the same. Preferences are not 100% genetic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:59 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?The ONLY way this becomes a problem is if I've cornered myself into a shitty sex life and have to watch my wife's clone hopping on some other guys dick day and night. There's an easy fix for that: don't accept a shitty sex life. ;-) Lol yes this is one of the possibilities I was thinking of, and I'm glad you admit that it would be a problem, because it would for me, as well. But not even sex-wise. Let's just say you watch your wife's clone become to be a much better person (perhaps less angry) w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:58 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Right but I just asked you how you would feel if she started dating someone else (and NOT you) and acted differently. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:55 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?she's just another woman that looks an AWFUL lot like my wife. With the same preferences, personality, tendencies, habits, etc. Her being with me is a choice, and is a choice every day she comes home. SHE made the choice to be with me, her clone never really did. So, she isn't "mine" by default simply because she "remembers" our wedding. Exactly. So she'll probably choose someone else. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:52 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?fundamentally diverging. Sure, they would be different, but I wouldn't imagine very drastically until they started interacting with people, and if your SO is a fully formed adult and knows who he is, he probably isn't going to change all that much (though he might). Especially in a mono context, I would feel bad for the clone because she wouldn't be able to have me because the 'real' her would already be dating me, which would suck a butt for her. Yeah it would absolutely suck for the clone. But… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:51 PM |
| 0 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Because if he is an exact clone and has the same preferences, personality, etc. and I'm seeing some other woman make the clone happy, then that means I'm not living up to my full potential to make my husband happy. You're looking at an alternate universe where your husband is happier with someone else without losing the current one where you still get to be with him. EDIT: and if you saw the clone form into a better person due to its separate experiences it had when it wasn't dating you, wouldn'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:48 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?I guess I personally would care if I saw my husband's exact clone acting way more affectionate with another woman than with me. I would feel like a failure and would want to know what it was she had that I didn't that made him happier. So I'd be hurt. If you sincerely don't think you would, then we have different attitudes and thoughts on this. No worries. But I'd be butthurt even though logically, I shouldn't be. EDIT: Isn't all jealousy irrational, anyways? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:44 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?So if your wife is YOURS how do you feel about her clone? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:41 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?I'd have a knee jerk, angry reaction to seeing them with other people. I mean, it's the man I love, and I don't want to see him with other people. But I also don't want to be in aforementioned freaky clone three way, so it's not that I would want to date him either. So I'd rather him just to go far, far away where I will never see or hear of him. He can date and live a happy life there, and I can just not think about it. Yeah I think exactly like you. Thank you for understanding my question, too… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:40 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?fair response | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:39 PM |
| 2 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Honestly these sorts of responses are what I'm looking for | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:37 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?so how would you feel if you saw the clone, first starting out the same as your SO, become a better person due to experiences without you? EDIT: I'm not asking for people to rationalize why you shouldn't care...I'm asking if you would, even if you knew that they're separate | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:37 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?And that would be a perfectly valid response that should lead him to "I need to fix MY shit." It certainly isn't his wife's or his wife's clones fault. Right. My WHOLE point in asking this question was in fact what you just said. Should the guy dump his wife and work on himself to find someone who can love him like her clone loves her partner? Wouldn't the guy be butthurt? Obviously he'd feel something after realizing his failure. My whole point is that you'd feel something. You're not totally i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:35 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Yeah. And you're taken. So she meets someone else. Afterall, unless you believe in true, fateful love, there must be some other chad she'll get tingles for. You see her acting differently (perhaps for better or for worse) with the other guy. Are you still feeling totally indifferent to that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:34 PM |
| 0 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Exactly. This is what I'm getting at with the question. So how do you feel watching his clone with someone else? And how would you feel if he seemed happier (or more sad) or whatever when you look at the clone with someone else fitting his preferences? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:33 PM |
| 3 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?a clone isnt magical this is a thought experiment on jealousy/envy not a "what if" on future scientific possibilities | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:31 PM |
| 2 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?hmmm...ok. fair enough. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:30 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Sure. Your partner says she doesn't like giving bjs to you. Then you see her clone does give bjs (not saying she likes them but does them) for someone else. What kind of reaction does that stir? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:29 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Ok well this is how my question works. The thought experiment is an exact clone in appearance, personality, preferences, etc. Literally two of your SO. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:28 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?If BJs were important to me, I'd have been getting them way before the clone arrived or moved on. (not saying I don't like BJs, I'm saying I already get them lol) Right and I'm saying in this example you're not. You can't just change the premise of the situation. I'm saying he wanted bjs before, doesn't get them from his current SO, but her clone does it for her partner. Even if it's "on him" I think seeing her do it with someone else, he'd realize that it was a problem with him and not her and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:25 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?There are SO many moral implications in my head already that figuring out how I'd feel if my "new" wife went to another man is hard to wrap my head around. Hence why I asked the question. It's just a thought experiment obviously. I think on some level I'd be hurt too...but hopefully the situation never happens. I mean I think this thought experiment is a good way to figure out whether or not you're a jealous v. envious person or have a capacity for polyamory. Polyamorous people are always claimi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:25 PM |
| 2 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?I think this is the only fair response I've gotten from the "but they're more like twins" people. So suppose you see that other clone is better as a product of being with someone else. How do you feel? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:20 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?No, no. But for example, suppose your SO refused to give you bjs. Her clone loves to give bjs to her new partner. Wouldn't that make you feel jealous of the other partner? Wouldn't you now feel like your SO doesn't like you as much as she could like someone else? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:17 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?Or would they? If the original is dating you and the clone doesn't want to share time/resources, etc. they will probably try to settle for someone else. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:11 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?People are taking the easy way out with this question. Not twins. Cloned after you start dating. Memories in tact, preferences etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:10 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?For the purpose of this question assume they are guaranteed to have the same preferences. They are cloned after you start dating- not at birth. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:09 PM |
| 1 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?No, no. Not a cheap knockoff. 100% the same. What if you found the clone, while dating someone else, was happier with that other person? Nicer? More affectionate? More sexual? How do you feel? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:08 PM |
| 2 | Imagine your partner is cloned and that your partner's clone starts dating someone else. How do you feel?but they're not a twin. they're 100% the same...same preferences, etc. What happens if you see the clone behaving differently with the other person (perhaps more affectionate, or more sexual, etc.)? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/16 08:04 PM |
| 3 | In defense of arranged marriagesit's not even about destroying the choice of partner in marriage, but about destroying the choice not to marry and stay married. This is a distinction which seems like a slight nuance, but it's actually everything - - - both boys and girls are raised with the expectation, that by a certain age, they will be married and will die married, too. They all seem to view marriage as the union of families Absolutely. I also think arranged marriage works better in cultures where pretty much everyone is "o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/03/16 06:23 PM |
| 4 | He went offline for a boat trip on a pivotal day for me. Am I overreacting?When does long distance end for you? It sounds like the bulk of your job stuff is done so maybe you can go visit him more? I think both of you are frustrated at your technical difficulties and taking it out on each other. My advice is to try and be happy and pleasant every time he calls. No more talking about this specific instance unless he wants to. Just be happy that he's calling next time. If it happens again, don't try to escalate the situation and rather just try and calm him down. I know … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/02/16 03:22 PM |
| 2 | How Much Do you Share with your SO?Yes. The way I see it is, don't make him figure anything out - that's forthcoming. If you're upset about something (even if it's not related to him) just let him know but be concise. "This isn't your fault but I'm upset about so if I seem pouty that's why." No guessing games on his part. "Hey FYI I know I said I was going to the gym but my friend just hit me up for happy hour and I'm really excited to do that!" Then when the pictures start rolling in on facebook he doesn't feel like he caught yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/16 08:58 PM |
| 1 | How Much Do you Share with your SO?they dont want to hear you bitch about how sara told tina that she was supposed to come to the party but then tina didnt show up and tina was supposed to bring the chips so now sara was hosting a party with no chips and couldnt leave because she had guests and didnt want to ask someone else to go get them and was mad at tina because she ALWAYS does this and.... you get my point. Precisely. If he asks you how the party was you can be honest and say "oh haha some stupid chip drama" but separate yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/16 08:54 PM |
| 3 | He gets messages from girlsHonestly, I could see myself being bothered by the fact that he deleted one, but I'd rather not explain why because I don't want to worry OP any further when it seems that in the context of everything, he isn't doing anything wrong. When a woman talks to my SO, the first things out of his mouth aren't "I'm in a relationship" haha. This. It would honestly be a little rude/presumptuous if those were in fact the first words out of his mouth. I think OP's boyfriend is probably doing what he thinks w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/02/16 04:42 PM |
| 1 | He gets messages from girlsIf she found hard evidence that he was actually cheating and lying about it, it doesn't matter whether the evidence is "inadmissible." She'd be better off leaving and you don't need a valid reason to break up with someone while you're still dating. You just need the desire to break up. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/02/16 04:36 PM |
| 4 | He gets messages from girlshe can't control who messages him, but he can control what he does with those messages, and it looks like he deflects them and deletes them. So much this. I mean deleting them might be sketchy but he probably just doesn't want you to worry, especially because it looks like he didn't even engage with girl #2. Honestly don't snoop. If something is going to turn into an issue, it will be apparent without snooping because you'll see him on his phone more, he'll hang out with you less, etc. There wil… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/02/16 08:37 PM |
| 3 | This is what happens when you can't hold your tongue [FR][Advice]I think this is especially insightful because we talk a lot about keeping your mouth shut in the short term for sort of isolated incidents (ahemmm...should you make a fuss over the toaster oven or not?) but sometimes we forget that repetitively bringing things up that even might bother you in the long term can still be detrimental if you don't give it room to breathe. I've been through a similar thing. Here's what was going on from his side (which you seem to have picked up on): You kept harping… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/16 02:38 PM |
| 1 | Feeling unreasonably (I think) jealous - helpYes jealousy is a very toxic feeling and honestly it's something I feel a lot of women with good intentions struggle with. I also think it becomes stronger the harder you fall for your man and also the more invested you become. I think coming to this subreddit is a great place to sort of vent and work through whether or not you have a legitimate reason to be worried or not. I am really happy to hear about your update, too! I'm so glad he reacted the way he did and now you can sort of ease your h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/16 02:08 PM |
| 1 | Feeling unreasonably (I think) jealous - helpI came in to say this. u/VintageVee isn't jealous of her SO, she's jealous of this woman and she's putting this jealousy onto her SO. Agreed. I actually think the correct term is envious- she wants something the girl has (skillz and attractiveness) that she doesn't. She is not really jealous- a feeling that comes from a fear of losing her SO. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/16 10:14 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?I had an ex who lived five min from me who thought seeing me once every two weeks was totally acceptable. turned out I was a plate. Wow. Yeah it's good to look out for these red flags. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/16 10:10 PM |
| 1 | Is it always ill-advised to initiate contact?I'm sorry :/ better luck next time! | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/16 10:09 PM |
| 2 | Feeling unreasonably (I think) jealous - helpShe sounds kind of slooty honestly. The advice here is good- I wouldn't bring anything up with your Captain unless you find he is excessively flirting with her back or seeking out her attention. JUST liking her pictures is not enough for concern. Be friends with her and honestly...I would love the fact that she is OTT flirty but that's a behavior your man would find inappropriate from you. He might find her attractive, but he KNOWS he is much better with you. Let him like her pictures. It will e… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/16 10:08 PM |
| 1 | Do You Have a Weekly Beauty Routine?I use those separate floss pick things every night in the shower to take the pain out of flossing. I do a light brushing to loosen stuff up, then floss, then brush again, then mouthwash - all in the shower. Something to do in there and I don't need to be extra careful with the sink. In the morning I just brush. I also have a tongue scraper for my tongue but I forget to use it a lot. Other than that my routine is pretty normal. I will say that about once or twice a week I get a spray tan. I have … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/16 04:01 AM |
| 2 | Valentine's Day and the RP/Masculine maleLove this post. I just wanted to say I used to be one of those girls who expected things on Valentine's Day and it was my mother who finally set me straight. Second year of college I was pretty much in the plate zone with this guy. I mean he wasn't seeing anyone else but I was pushing for that official commitment. The problem was that I saw it as his job to woo me and since I was obviously woo'd, couldn't figure out why he hadn't asked me to be his gf yet. So we had been dating for maybe 4-5 wee… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/16 06:48 PM |
| 1 | Native Culture And Femininity DiscussionLol! | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/16 03:08 PM |
| 1 | Native Culture And Femininity DiscussionI mean you just said exactly my point. The word "Western Culture" applies to the graeco-roman christian cultures of Western Europe, which are geographically located East (on a conventional map) of the Native Americans. Even more "funny" (to me, maybe interesting or peculiar is a better word) is that the French frequently used the term "oriental" to describe the Native Americans, basically lumping them with stereotypes associated with Eastern Culture. Cheateaubriand's Atala is a good example of t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/16 03:06 PM |
| 5 | Native Culture And Femininity DiscussionI think the idea of the feminine counterparts and what that means in different cultures is very interesting. It's also funny how you're a native american, yet we would not describe your culture as "western." I took a french class on exoticism and orientalism and the native american culture, in fact, was seen as exotic and "oriental" to the french. The exotic/eastern cultures were also seen as weaker and more "feminine" than the masculine western cultures. But I digress. I am American and my mom … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/16 04:06 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?I'm just going to say I think we're on the same page here but expressing it differently | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/16 03:54 PM |
| 1 | These are a few of my favorite things...Swimming laps at the gym followed by a relaxing 15 minutes in the hot tub or sauna I had been in a elliptical/weight lift rut for a while and just picked swimming back up. I love it! And after the sauna, the cold walk back to my car is do-able | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/16 03:53 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?Thank you for addressing her post line by line. I didn't have the patience to do that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/16 09:57 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?I'm not dating these are all hypothetical. Look at that thread I alluded to in another comment. I think the premise is in fact that he does care, but certain things can tip off that he doesn't. My point is that as a relationship grows, you get used to certain things about your relationship and expectations start to form that indicate certain behavior (for example, you captain always follows through on verbal promises; therefore, that indicates to you he is reliable). If those specific things all… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/16 09:49 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?Lol yes sorry I tend to get like that. I guess what I meant was "don't feel cared for by him" and also "don't feel he cares for me" and to me, those seem to be about equal in sentiment. I did not actually mean to say "guy who definitively doesn't care for me" because you are not inside his head and can't know for sure. In fact, if you did know for sure, insecurity would be vanished because you'd know for a fact if he cared or not and could make actual informed decisions. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/16 06:20 PM |
| 2 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?hmm, i feel this thread is walking on eggshells a little since we don't want to sound entitled--which is great, of course. However, we should be honest that there are some very important & basic expectations which make up a good man. after all, choosing a good man to begin with is the most important step in finding a life partner. RPW can't help you much if you keep going for the wrong fish. Yes. Thank you so much for your detailed comment and it's what I was looking for. I also agree I feel som… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/16 06:09 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?I'm just taking it one step at a time True. Playing it by ear is a good way to look at it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/02/16 10:59 PM |
| 2 | What % of 'real' people would you have sex with?Red. 1-2% of men, which includes the older men at my office, the younger men my little brother's age, and the actual eligible bachelors I stumble upon from time to time. Seriously. 1 in a hundred sounds about right. Out of my highschool, which had 3000+ students, I would have had sex with maybe 6 or 7 given the opportunity. In fact, I ended up dating a guy from another high school so that never actually played out. But anyway, that's just over 2% for guys that I would have, at the time, consider… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/16 10:58 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?That sounds awesome. I guess my point is that the word "friend" is very vague- what does that mean he expects from you? What exactly does that mean you expect from him? What kind of friend? If for some reason you felt he wasn't acting like a friend to you, how would you feel? | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/02/16 04:25 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?Right. I'm not at all trying to challenge RPW at all. I'm trying to recognize that RPW is going to look different for every relationship, and I'm curious what everyone's relationship looks like. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/02/16 04:23 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?Right I agree. The problem in this example would be you don't feel you are cared for. But depending on your personal boundaries and expectations, you can't necessarily fix it yourself without moving on to someone else. For example, let's say you don't feel cared for. You can either fix your standards/boundaries; or, if they are at your threshold/your boundaries, ask him to respect your boundaries OR move on. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/02/16 04:21 PM |
| 2 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?Perhaps that man has his act completely together in other areas and what she is talking about doesn't happen enough for her to next him. But that might be too much for you. It's a whole package type thing. When the pieces come together enough as a whole, then certain people will see that as a little thing while others may not. So what I'm saying is that you need to figure out your deal breakers for yourself. Yes I agree. I definitely think women will have different thresholds and boundaries for … | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/02/16 01:47 AM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?Well, for an example like that, I wouldn't complain about not enough dates. Complaining about fun thugs brings negativity towards them! Exactly, yet you'd have to admit that him taking you out on the dates was a component of what made you feel cared for, and the problem is that you do not feel cared for. Second, you may just be bored and see the guy like a television or something. lol I really like this. This is a good reminder that a guy is not your sole source of entertainment. Do something ni… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/02/16 01:21 AM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?I mean I don't have any concrete examples because I'm not dating right now. Rather getting my head on straight first. But you're right. Suppose a guy who initially was "dating" you- i.e., taking you out on dates, slowly stopped. Your gut may (correctly) tell you that he doesn't care about you, and is picking up on other cues too that you might not consciously be picking up on. But suppose you bring this concern to this guy. You'd probably say something along the lines of "I've been feeling negle… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 11:18 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?"well, I need to be a priority, so I'll pitch a fit if he doesn't do what I want in this situation, because each occurrence is a test of whether I'm a priority." Omg yes. This is I guess what I'm trying to get at with this thread. I'd like to think a repeated behavior or pattern of something is more a test, not individual instances. And I've definitely put myself in that awful postition, where I've thought "I've told him this is really important to me, so if he bails, he is telling me that I'm n… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 10:32 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?That was so nice of him! Definitely a good Captain. So you could say, maybe that you don't expect dates, but that there is a precedent for him showing how much he values you (or perhaps it is simply spending quality time together) and one of the ways that manifests itself is in date nights, or, in the winter, watching movies together. There is a precedented role for him as the date-taker or winer-and-diner, if you will. A date partner. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 10:24 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?Thank you for your thoughtful response. I appreciate the detail. I definitely agree that you usually will start out with limited expectations- something I alluded to in my post- and as a relationship grows and evolves, certain "precedents" take place and this is exactly what I was looking for. So in your case, you cherish your dates together. That's wonderful. And I bet that if all of a sudden they stopped, you would probably be a little butt hurt, but your captain sounds like a pretty level-hea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 10:16 PM |
| 2 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?No you are explaining it well. It definitely makes sense because you are married, so I definitely see how the whole notion of deal breakers sort of dissolves once you commit your life to someone like that. I think maybe my question was badly phrased and more geared toward those still deciding on captains, since that is the stage I'm at in life right now. For example, the recent thread that sarcastically lists all of the roles a woman needs a man to play. But more realistically, something like th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 10:10 PM |
| 3 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?I guess I'm just curious about everyone's specifics. Not because I want to see what's "right" but because I just want to see examples. What are your husband's goals? Obviously since you are married and have already determined him to be a fit captain, you can trust that his goals are good for the family unit. For example, you can trust that he is not going to suddenly switch goals to become a male stripper, or if he did, you could trust he had a very good reason to do so and would do so with keep… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 08:39 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?the only thing I require is that effort and the trust that I'll do the same. Of course. But how do you want to see the effort he puts in? I'm just trying to get people to reflect a bit beyond the standard "I just need trust/a leader" and more about how that shows itself. Do you need to be a priority? How much of one? Do you need him to be reliable? In what ways? | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 08:32 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?Expectation puts stress on the man. It makes women hope he behaves a certain way and we start controlling him so he fits our purpose. I'm going away from that. I expect a lot from me and almost nothing from him because I fell in love with him at his worst so I'm just so happy when I see him be his best. I agree. I don't like expectations. Ah I guess the right way to handle this question is through traits and play it by ear. I was hoping I guess for more materialized experiences. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 08:30 PM |
| 1 | Will keeping my mouth shut about this be better or is it worth it to explain myself? The problem that happens when YOU offer a solution to something instead of your SOHis attitude is a bit immature. I think you handled it mostly well but you're right that you shouldn't have brought up a specific solution. I say let it lie. In the meantime, think about what you want from him. If his attitude doesn't change that's a red flag and serious grounds for nexting. But honestly, maybe don't hang out with him as much. Clearly this upsets you so how about you avoid plans for a while. If he hits you up and you're free, that's great. But don't live your life on his plans. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 07:23 PM |
| 1 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?Certainly good traits. How do these manifest in roles? For example, you say you want to be his friend where you share laughs and trials and succeed at your dreams together. Do you expect him to be your friend back? If so, what does that entail? What if you found out he had a particular dream he was pursuing and didn't tell you about it (for example, he was starting a website on the side or something)? | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 07:08 PM |
| 7 | What role do you expect your Captain to play in your life?For an example, suppose you get angry and yell at your boyfriend for some reason. (Don't do this but just pretend it happens) He should act dismissive and tease you, but not get angry himself. Honestly I wouldn't blame him if he felt angry and disrespected, but I agree a good captain holds frame. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 07:05 PM |
| 3 | What does 'submission' or 'obedience' mean for you?He likes that I can hold my own and kick ass on my own but defer to only him Yes! It makes your submission to him more special | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 03:24 PM |
| 1 | "You can let go with me CQ" or how to remind me to STFUI FEEL you with the PMS. A good rule of thumb when you are feeling upset: "Am I on my period?" If yes, it is another thing that can successfully convince you to let things go. Tell yourself you will reevaluate when it's done. It's also just a good thing to keep in mind because if you do get antsy and bring something up while PMSing, you run the risk of hearing "ugh you're always like this around your period" or "could you be upset because you're about to be on your period?" and that is actually … | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 03:22 PM |
| 1 | Instagram Husband - rpw please don't!Has anyone ever been in the opposite scenario? I've dated two guys now who have been overly obsessed with their image- both have said things like "which picture should I make my profile picture?" and "hey can you retake this snapchat video? I want to get the timing just right" and "replay this video of me omg replay it again again" but of course when it comes to pictures of us there is always a better time to do it | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 02:45 PM |
| 1 | Instagram Husband - rpw please don't!But on a sidenote I hate the way women say babe nowadays a term of endearment said with total condescension and scorn totally agree | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 02:41 PM |
| 3 | What does 'submission' or 'obedience' mean for you?Just adding on to the word "deference," I really like how /u/_wingnut_ related it to a hierarchy of power. Deference does not mean that you defer every single decision to your SO. Each of you have your realms of power, but at the end of the day, he has ultimate veto power/decision making power. The example I most see referred to on RPW is the "what do you want/what are we having for dinner" debacle. If your SO asks you, that means it is your job to decide. If he doesn't like what you decide, he'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/02/16 02:38 PM |
| 7 | What RPW concepts will you pass along to your children? How will you present the information? For those using conversation rather than example alone, would you bring up RP values with sons, or would that conversation fall to your husband?I hope to be explaining to my future (unborn) daughter soon after "the talk" that men are the gatekeepers of commitment and women are the gatekeepers of sex and explain all of the logical reasons why waiting is always better. I mean it depends on what she's like but hopefully she will be smart and aware enough that I could explain it to her. For any sons I have I will probably defer to my husband. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/02/16 08:58 PM |
| 4 | Time to share: what have you improved since joining RPW?My biggest thing is that I'm not scared to show interest in a guy, and I also take part in the "wooing" process by trying to prove to him that I'm worthy, as opposed to thinking it's the guy's job to show interest in me. I feel OK embracing the girl in me and telling a guy I like him. For example, next time I'm on a second or third date, I'll probably bake something and bring it to him or buy a bottle of wine or something that shows my appreciation, though I probably wouldn't do this on the firs… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/02/16 08:51 PM |
| 1 | Is it always ill-advised to initiate contact?haha yes I definitely agree with keeping the mystery, but I guess I feel it actually adds to the attraction and I don't really think texting is too much of a time suck/investment (though you could become emotionally attached) | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/16 05:00 PM |
| 1 | Is it always ill-advised to initiate contact?I dont have any truck with this texting for a week bollocks. He either asks me on a date or he doesnt get responses I'm not sure I necessarily agree with this if it's in between dates, but I do agree that you don't want to put up with this if you're not actually meeting up IRL. I really like talking a lot in between dates/meetings to build attraction. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/16 06:59 PM |
| 1 | Is it always ill-advised to initiate contact?Never pursue it further if they drop off after a reminder -- and depending on how raunchy the convo was, maybe don't pursue it further at all. Definitely consider this advice...so maybe save your "reminder" closer to the date and depending on how heated/raunchy things got, maybe your best move is to not say anything at all. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/16 06:52 PM |
| 1 | Is it always ill-advised to initiate contact?You just don't know at this point. Honestly this. Don't stress out because we don't know. Update us after you get back!!! | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/16 06:50 PM |
| 1 | Is it always ill-advised to initiate contact?he shifted to heavy flirtation BECAUSE she contacted himm and now he thinks of her as a desperate sexual prospect Thanks for saying this. Definitely a good point to consider as I seemed to miss the part where he shifted it to heavy flirtation | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/16 06:47 PM |
| 1 | Five Reasons to Make Him Wait For SexI know :/ | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/16 06:44 PM |
| 2 | CLOSURE UPDATE: UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thanks! Will do. Although I may change my username since this one is filled with posts connected to my last relationship. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/16 06:41 PM |
| 1 | CLOSURE UPDATE: UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?lolol thank you | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/16 06:40 PM |
| 1 | Five Reasons to Make Him Wait For SexYes, but your boyfriend is probably getting a fair amount of sex with you. But this was absolutely what I told her but only now started considering that maybe she should be more lenient. IDK. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/16 06:40 PM |
| 1 | CLOSURE UPDATE: UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Why wouldn't you have nexted them though if you realise they've put you in the FWB-zone? Exactly. I mean my point was more that I nexted before even having sex. Like we were intimate but not having sex and they expected to at least make it that far. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/16 06:05 PM |
| 2 | CLOSURE UPDATE: UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?lolol. Maybe the west coast. Who knows. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/16 05:38 PM |
| 1 | CLOSURE UPDATE: UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thank you for your comment. Definitely encouraging. EDIT: I'll admit I'm still working on this balance which is why I'm glad I came to RPW to check on my boundaries. In college, I was extremely picky, and was perhaps too "nexty" with guys. If I realized I was in the fwb-zone/they were only committing for the "mean time"- I completely nexted and they were always just so blown. But it also somewhat was a bit entitled in that "oh you didn't get me anything for valentine's day? clearly you don't act… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/16 05:29 PM |
| 1 | CLOSURE UPDATE: UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Ah good tip! Thank you! I just like the idea of going to the beach in my down time but I guess I forgot that everyone over the age of 50 has the same idea. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/16 05:21 PM |
| 1 | Five Reasons to Make Him Wait For Sexengaged people often had sex This makes sense because at that point, the male had made a pretty sizeable financial investment (the ring) in the whole arrangement, and so his commitment more so started with the engagement and not the marriage. I definitely think the present is totally out of whack, and I flip flop on whether or not I will encourage my (future unborn) daughters to wait until marriage/engagement or to instead wait until a trustworthy commitment. My friend from college waited until … | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/16 04:32 PM |
| 2 | Five Reasons to Make Him Wait For SexI completely agree. If you're going to wait, you're going to have to accept the fact that he may be getting sex from somewhere else while he waits for you. Which is why you give him sex when you go exclusive. I also think a lot of high value men are used to getting pursued, so while they may pursue a girl they think is wife material more than they pursue their plates, it still might not look like the typical beta/romcom flowers/chocolate/whatever. In fact, it will probably look more like him ini… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/16 03:19 PM |
| 9 | Five Reasons to Make Him Wait For SexThe idea that women can just have sex and not feel anything after is crazy. I seriously hate this. It's probably my most hated idea that feminism encourages. We are not men, and cannot just have free, casual sex with tons of guys like men. And then I feel like I'm "uncool" because I can't separate my feelings from sex. Like everyone thinks I'm so backwards for not being with the times and being mature enough to realize that sex and emotions are totally separate things. I don't care. I prefer my … | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/16 03:04 PM |
| 1 | Is it always ill-advised to initiate contact?Has your date/meeting with him been set or was it left at a vague "we'll meet up next time you're in town" sort of thing? This might go against the grain, but I think if you want to text him, go ahead and text him. I mean don't actively pursue if that makes sense, but if you want to text, text! That way you are being genuine and aren't playing games, and you can figure out earlier if you guys are going to be compatible. Maybe send him something related to what you guys talked about, or maybe ask… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/16 02:58 PM |
| -1 | Do you think this new barbie model is fat and encourages being obese?The new barbie is still not normal. What was "fictional"/impossible about the original barbie was NOT how skinny she was but how long her legs were compared to the rest of her. The new Barbie keeps this same absurdly weird ratio and just makes her thicker. So yes, the new Barbie is fat and she just looks weird with those long legs. If they wanted to make a more realistic Barbie and keep her pretty, they would have just shortened the legs. Maybeeee thickened the thighs but honestly an adjustment … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/16 11:14 PM |
| 2 | Drama with other girlsHating someone is giving them wayyy more of your energy than they deserve. SO much this. The opposite of Love is Apathy, not hate. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 04:54 PM |
| 2 | Simple QuestionsPiggy backing off of saying negative things about SOs... For a while I felt like I was seeing a lot of "how can I fix my bad SO" posts but lately it's gotten better with the constant reminders of "you can't change your man, you can only change and control yourself." I really think this should be emphasized. If the post has anything to do with something that could be construed with something bad the SO is doing, it needs to be framed in a "I am bothered when he does ___. Am I overreacting? What c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/16 08:10 PM |
| 2 | Simple QuestionsI like this. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/16 08:01 PM |
| 1 | Simple QuestionsI've honestly never been to the TBP sub (it just seemed like silly satire to me) but I have been to the PPD sub. That's messed up and honestly feels more misogynistic/prejudiced than anything on our sub. "I don't like these women's opinions - they must not be women." | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/16 08:00 PM |
| 3 | Simple QuestionsHonestly I'd just play it up like "so this book was a #1 best seller in a lot of countries and I know you are about to get married so you may like this" sort of naiive "idk anything about marriage so here's a book I found with great reviews because I want to be a helpful sister" | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/16 07:50 PM |
| 2 | Simple QuestionsWait is this a thing? People actually think our accounts are fake? LOL | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/16 07:48 PM |
| 2 | Simple QuestionsNo, but I kind of think my roommate might like it. My other friends would definitely need a little bit of coaxing and I could never just send them a link and be like "omg I love this sub." I don't think I would tell a partner about it unless he brought up The Red Pill sub first. AWALT is more that all women have a hypergamous nature, are attracted to guys they perceive as above them, and are tempted to go to great lengths to satisfy their tingles for AF and are also tempted to try and avoid blam… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/16 07:43 PM |
| 1 | Simple QuestionsLove Rand Paul!! | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/16 07:38 PM |
| 3 | Is date night a reasonable goal?You have gotten into the psychological sweatpants stage. The cure isn't a date night but connecting with him in other ways. The date night idea is the manic, go-do-stuff approach to intimacy. It's very woman-centered, which means it isn't going to make him feel more connected to you. It is as contrived as flowers and chocolates. Yes omg this. Date night is a surface fix for your rut. The real fix is to connect with him. You could watch a thoughtful movie, or honestly sincerely compliment him on … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/16 06:52 PM |
| 1 | SO seems to prefer I plan everythingYour bf might be different, but I do want to emphasize that one of the perks of being in a relationship for guys is that they can relax a little and don't have to constantly woo you. I definitely am of the mindset that you should always keep things fun and exciting, but I think that sentiment is best carried out in a more a continued playful, flirty behavior and mindset as opposed to concrete, materialized plans. I will say I absolutely sympathize with you. I get incredibly frustrated after the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/16 06:42 PM |
| 3 | RPW is not "one simple trick" to fix all relationship problemsDrug addiction, alcoholism, mental illness, weirdness...definitely grounds for nexting. Some other reasons for nexting (before marriage): Loss of respect for your man. This is incredibly hard to get back once you lose respect for him. Loss of sexual attraction. You cannot find sex out of a relationship (unless yours is not conventional), so this is honestly extremely important. You feel like a plate/you do not feel desired or valued/you do not feel he is as committed or takes the relationship as… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/16 05:39 PM |
| 3 | The STFU MethodHonestly I think this post comes at a great time. While it's definitely important to talk to your SO about problems and let him know how you're feeling, you should always be making listening your number 1 priority. I think it's also important to emphasize that you can let your hamster run wild, but you shouldn't stew over something that's not that big of a deal, or else it's going to become a big deal when it's not. Try to really put yourself in his shoes when he tells you something, and really … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/01/16 05:42 PM |
| 1 | A New Way of Looking at Relationship Dynamics (Part 1)Love love love this! Can't believe I'm just seeing it now- I swear my eyes actually gloss over stickied posts instead of noticing them. As with any system, I can see a lot of women not accurately evaluating their own situation- they might only focus on the times they are submissive and try to write off the times they are dominant as "exceptions" to their normal personality and not realize that they are higher than they think they are. I think also it wouldn't be a bad idea to use M (medium) if t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/01/16 05:08 PM |
| 1 | I just found this place. Wow. Anyway, in regards to first dates and who pays and what it signifies mentally.So after the initial check dance where the girl politely offers to pay her share and the guy refuses: I will absolutely insist to pay my share of the bill if I don't want the guy I'm with to confuse our outing as a date. This was back in high school and college where I naiively thought my orbiters were genuinely good friends, or once where I was on a double date and wanted to signal to the guy that I was not interested in sleeping with him and more taking one for the team and being present for m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/16 05:23 PM |
| 2 | What makes a man sexually attractive?IMO an alpha personality will greatly help a guy if I am neutral about him or already find his appearance attractive. It won't really help much if I find his looks unattractive. A beta personality will take away from any attraction I have based on a guy's looks, even if he is a supermodel or something. I think you could look at TV to verify this: Let's first look at Gossip Girl. At the beginning of the show, all of the girls love Chase Crawford because he is objectively the most attractive on th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/16 05:03 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsthank you! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 10:56 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsYes, but its one of those "Careful what you wish for" situations. Women envision the type of marriage they would have with a high beta except with an alpha male instead, and that dynamic is not going to happen. Yes totally agreed. And on whether or not to save it, I definitely go back and forth. I mean it absolutely might blind a guy into marrying you when he doesn't really want to, but imo, it's the only way for a girl to play it safe to get what she wants. A guy is totally happy to put the rel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 10:52 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsI'm not talking about the girl who would say yes to sex to almost anyone. I'm talking about the girl who would use you as her emotional tampon. I think you probably have some of those in your arsenal. I think it's tricky because girls have the dual strategy and need both components, whereas guys, as a result, get classified as providing one component or the other. So if you're lower smv, I'm talking about the girl who would use you as your emotional tampon. That's the same value I attribute to t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 10:48 PM |
| 2 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingslolol we should really be telling girls to really truly stay away from bad boys. and this all makes me want to tell my future daughter to save it until marriage, and I'm not even Christian. I do think that for some quality girls, getting an alpha to commit is doable, but they need to put up with A LOT to keep him and their sense of self respect will be challenged | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 10:20 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsOk but this would be like if you took some random ugly girl who would say yes to almost anyone out to a fancy dinner to try and make the girl who has friendzoned you jealous that you're treating some girl to luxury...when really you're just offering some poor girl free dinner. You don't really want it, and you don't really consider that random ugly girl an option, do you? The girl who has revenge sex is trying to get a rise out of someone she actually likes and the value to her (sex) doesn't mea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 10:13 PM |
| 2 | Can We Speak Supplements/Beauty Routines, Please?omg yes this is what I actually use So I actually like the original cream but I have sampled the gel cream. The great thing about La Mer is you can get samples when you order from their site. But yes, it is very pricey. For me a 2 oz. thing of the creme will last almost a year though. I'm not sure if it's strictly the vitamin c, but I have noticed a difference in the lotion I use that incorporates both vitamin c and retinol! I honestly just love this because it is very lightweight and doesn't le… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/01/16 10:11 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsand my point is that girls don't think like guys and literally cannot take that out of the equation like guys can. guys can separate sex and feelings. for girls this is really difficult. But let's take out the idea that I liked the guy. at that point why does it even matter? I think you're assuming that girls think about sex like guys. I understand sex is valuable to you so it sucks that we can get it so easily but it's just simply not the same. yeah if we want to, we can, but it's not likely we… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 10:03 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsI don't necessarily agree, but let's just say he ONLY has targets and I ONLY have options. I think the likeliness he'll get laid by one of his targets is about the same as the likeliness I'll find one of my options sexually attractive. I will concede that he needs to pursue the target whereas I may just have to say yes for sex, but I honestly think that if I'm actually interested in the guy, I will also be stressing out and putting in work to impress him and get him to try and pursue me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 06:36 PM |
| 2 | Can We Speak Supplements/Beauty Routines, Please?I take a multivitamin everyday- so basic, yet so easy to forget. Pretty much all of my skincare is done right after getting out of the shower at night, where I use pretty much any old cleanser (dove, cetaphil, whatever) and physical exfoliation (loofah- the sca sub will advice against this but I use these gritty salux cloths to exfoliate my back and body (NOT FACE)): Some nights, I use a BHA (Stridex in the red), followed by my pocketderm prescription, followed by neutrogina rapid tone repair lo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/01/16 06:32 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsnot significantly more options than a guy in my dating league | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 05:54 PM |
| 2 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsOk. But I think the odds of her finding that one that's a better option are not significantly better than the odds of her boyfriend finding a girl he's sexually attracted to that's also willing to have sex with him. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 05:21 PM |
| 2 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsI would absolutely prefer to get my sex from a relationship because I need to feel safe, cared for, and desired to become sexually aroused. Honestly. It's hard for a casual encounter to make me feel that way. I need to feel like the guy sees me as some special girl that he really really wanst to be with against all odds, and that feeling is best accomplished by some sort of commitment or continued contact. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 05:16 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingssure we can have sex with someone as revenge but we really don't want to. I don't think a female would get as much joy out of revenge sex as a male would because it's just sex, and that's cheap to us. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 05:14 PM |
| 2 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderings"fine, go date that guy then," and she would always give me this I got nothin look. This is honestly the best response as it turns her trying to dread you as her trying to reassure you and show her loyalty. It's been done to me a couple of times. I think it also hammers down the male need for acceptance as he is - "this is who I am. if you honestly think someone out there is better, go for it, but I'm willing to bet you will still think I'm better even if I don't change to have whatever quality … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 05:12 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsWhat I meant was that guys were using their own perspective to incorrectly judge a girl's situation. In order to accurately assess the situation, they would need to see it through a female perspective. The guys are incorrectly putting themselves in the female's shoes and thinking she'd think and act how they themselves would think and act. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 05:10 PM |
| 2 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsThank you for your comment. I think honestly we are pretty much in agreement about everything. I was in fact writing from the perspective of a girl dating someone she was actually attracted to and looked up to- the perspective a girl who thought her SO was better than her because he's alpha. I did not at all consider the women dating betas, and I think I agree that in that case, beta replacements are in fact numerous. I will say that a lot of my friends who have been with betas have toyed with t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 05:07 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingslol but he's actually friendzoned. he's not actually an option :/ | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 05:00 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsSure. But I'm saying she usually doesn't have a better option. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/16 04:59 PM |
| 3 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsI think sex + some element of commitment always equals some sort of relationship. Even commitment without sex can be a relationship. I think women would prefer to get their share of sex from relationships but stupidly think they need to woo the guy with sex first. I think men in general seek casual encounters to get theirs, but I think their fantasy would be a harem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 10:47 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsaha. yes thank you. so average looking girl does have inherent dread compared to a low smv beta male. I mean I definitely live in an area where even guys I think are beta to me still get some fairly frequently, though they admit they're lowering their standards. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 10:45 PM |
| 2 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsYeah I actually completely agree with what you're saying. Especially because I feel like I've seen a lot of very high SMV (obviously redpill unaware) guys who maybe weren't completely cucked but stuck in relationships they shouldn't have, and also apprently high smv guys with some seriously big insecurities. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 10:43 PM |
| 2 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsAre you attracted to the woman you have a chance of banging, and are you leading her on in a way where she thinks that opportunity is there to her? If yes, I agree with your wife. If no, then I think she should shouldn't be concerned, though a bit of insecurity on her part is reasonable. Did I lead the 20 men to believe they have a chance of getting with me? If yes, my husband should be concerned. If no, then I don't think he should be concerned (though a bit of insecurity is reasonable), though… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 10:35 PM |
| 5 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsBecause guys desire lots of sex. Girls desire sex and commitment so it's harder for them. If they cheat, it's to branch swing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 08:55 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsThat being said, this doesn't mean that it's "easier". Men have just as easy of a time, if not easier, when it comes to cheating (physically, maybe not as much emotionally): Iirc, in a majority of cases, mistresses were physically less attractive than the men's wives. This means that in order to just get more sex, men were fine with lowering standards. Female prostitutes are more common and less risky/threatening to males. If it's just physical, this is an option. Thank you! Good information. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 08:54 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsSure. And I suppose if she's in a relationship, she's mostly getting the commitment she wants, so it's easier to only demand sex from a chad than to pursue him for dating. If a girl is actually sexually attracted to her boyfriend though I really don't think she has ready access to anything better, but I admit that if she did, she'd be very tempted to branchswing. I think though that it's very hard for her to find something actually better- and often she'll think she can secure chad into the next… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 08:42 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsthey rely on beta identification with the feminine yes thank you. I think this explains a lot of what I initially wrote in my post | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 08:37 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsI think we can look at the higher smv range to see what would happen because when guys are alpha enough, women do in fact speak up to the subject of their attraction. I've hit up someone I forgot about then realized was really hot out of the blue before and it led to me suggesting we hang out, then us hanging out, then him asking me out on a date, etc. I've also had to watch one girl ask a bf of mine to happy hour nearly every week and didn't get the hint until he completely cut contact. I've ha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 08:35 PM |
| 2 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsI'll have to read more about the apex fallacy but I think you hit the nail on the head. I mean...yeah. If there is anything to take away from my thread, it's that you NEED to be an alpha to matter in the female mind. And if you're going to be an alpha, you can't be insecure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 08:18 PM |
| 2 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsFemale dread: ignoring me, staying out of the house, dead bedrooms except when you go domniatrix on me, or starfish sex-show disrespect, impatience and disinterest while doing so; hitting the gym, buying clothes and dressing up more when you go out (but not for me, you make no efforts around me because you're trying to prove a point, that I'm not worth the time), flirting with other men when we're outside on a date but giving me the cold shoulder, acting irritable around me, posting FB statuses,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 08:16 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsYou don't have to trust the sister, just him. hmm ok. fair point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 08:10 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsIf a woman encounters 20 men attracted to her in her daily routing, then she'll be approached by 15 to 20 of them and maybe be attracted to one of them. If a very flirtatious man encounters 20 women he's attracted to in his daily routine, he'll approach 15 who are not attracted to him and maybe one who is. FTFY - the woman is only attracted to 1 out of the 20 who approach Also this wouldn't happen, but if a man is approached by a woman attracted to him, there is a greater chance the attraction i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 08:06 PM |
| 2 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsThank you for your comment. I think yours has been the most convincing so far. What you're saying is that a woman has more of an ability to compromise because of her dual needs of commitment and sexual attraction, where as with guys the options are more binary: they either find a girl bangable, or they don't, and more often than not, a girl they find bangable will not want to bang them, whereas it is easy for an average+ looking woman to get at least some of her needs met. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 07:59 PM |
| 1 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsopportunities. Opportunities for what? Sex? I suppose that's right, but sex isn't as valuable to a girl as it is for a guy. Unfortunately, to hit "jackpot", a girl needs TWO things: commitment and sexual attraction. She may have more options than a beta male, but I doubt she has more options than an alpha male, who only wants sex and can get that need met by multiple women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 07:51 PM |
| 5 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsThat's all nice and well, but the man in question doesn't know that. The thing is that a woman, regardless of her intentions, will try to display being reliable and loyal almost all the time I think this again is male solipsism. The reason why the man doesn't know that is because he thinks that she thinks like him. Also, I think a lot of women, due to female solipsism, will actually try to appear less reliable because they think making a love interest jealous will make him like her more. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 04:36 PM |
| 9 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingseven though you might be totally unfazed by the guys you meet, your partner doesn't know that. Correct, and I'm arguing that it's a phenomenon of male solipsism trying to convince him that we in fact are fazed by the guys we meet. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 04:18 PM |
| 4 | I feel like this is an example of MALE solipsism that frequently comes up...correct me if I'm wrong? and other ponderingsSo exerting "dread" is a more conscious action than it'll ever be for a woman. Well, ok. Maybe. I think most of what you said applies to a situation where the woman has a higher or perhaps equal SMV to the man, which is why cheating is on her mind. I do think though that most branchswingers aren't looking to cheat with a random alpha- they want to swing to a sturdy branch they think they can secure and that will involve some emotional cheating beforehand. In the case where the male SMV is higher… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/16 04:14 PM |
| 1 | Need some adviceWho broke up with who initially? If it was you, it kind of sounds like you have no respect for your bf and you should really just break up for good. Either way, my advice to you is to break up and cut both of these guys out of your life, but something tells me you're not quite mature enough to do that and aren't going to do that yet. If you really, really want this to work out, you really need to assume your role in the dog house right now. Take the hits and don't fight back. You really have no … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/01/16 09:38 PM |
| 2 | How Men View Love - Crosspost from AskMenI think making the man feel needed and having him come to her rescue is a great compromise to having men get part of their fantasy and women get part of theirs. Men are accepted for who they are, but occasionally needs to rescue the woman and feel manly. The woman still feels like he is putting in the effort to win her over without all of the fancy dates. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/16 03:44 PM |
| 1 | How Men View Love - Crosspost from AskMenWhat he's saying is what I was trying to get at yesterday in the love hierarchy thread | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/16 03:42 PM |
| 1 | Explain to me the "love hierarchy" - Men>Women>ChildrenMany women somehow manage to love their husbands without having this kind of relationship dynamic. Are you saying many women can love their husbands without respecting them, or that many women still respect their husbands even though they don't see them as above them? I'm going to assume you mean the second. In theory, we always talk about "respecting someone as if they were your equal." The thing is, I feel like a lot of people have a sort of self-inflated sense of worth (though not all), and I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/16 06:57 PM |
| 2 | Explain to me the "love hierarchy" - Men>Women>ChildrenTIL: Men love unconditionally. Hmmm. I mean I see why now my post says that. I guess more what I meant was that, once truly in love, men sort of stay put and don't have a desire to branch swing. It's more permanent in that way. They break up over boundary violations or dead bedroom situations but they usually don't break up because they completely stopped loving the woman. This is all from my personal experience though...but I do live in a pretty big area and see a lot of relationships unfold. E… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/16 06:47 PM |
| 1 | Explain to me the "love hierarchy" - Men>Women>ChildrenA lot of this has been covered in the comments but I wanted to put it all in one place for you. A man will naturally want to unconditionally love a woman (TRP tries to get rid of this thinking) and also protect her just as a woman will unconditionally love her child and try to protect her child. A child respects his/her mother just as a woman should respect her husband. A man wants to be loved how he loves his woman- unconditionally. However, a woman cannot provide this unconditional love- he ne… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/16 03:39 PM |
| 3 | Explain to me the "love hierarchy" - Men>Women>ChildrenIt is an unconditional love that women do not naturally reciprocate to their man. A woman unconditionally loves her child, but she will not love a man unconditionally- he has to stay alpha, or else she will lose attraction and respect. However, the man wants this love- he wants to be accepted for who he is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/16 03:20 PM |
| 6 | Marriage vs CommitmentI really think the most important thing would be a promised, life-long commitment as opposed to the term "marriage." I think your advice was pretty good. He really needs to look at why he doesn't want to get married. If he is scared about the legal ramifications (which honestly aren't even all that bad and tend to be exaggerated on this and the TRP sub), then perhaps they can come up with their own customized marriage contract that protects him to his satisfaction. I think for me, the biggest be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/01/16 02:56 PM |
| 7 | How to make a special romantic date/evening while home?I can confirm this. Guys do not generally like arts and crafts and if they agree, they are doing it SOLELY because they think you'll be happy doing that. I think it would be better to decorate a wine or scotch glass and give it to him than have him decorate it himself with you. Save decorating things (even christmas cookies, etc.) for girls' night unless you are sure that is what he is into. Additionally, monopoly is more fun with more people, but I think games like that are a little better than… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/12/15 03:28 PM |
| 3 | I need advice. (status newbie)Sign up for a fitness class like yoga or zumba or barre or something so that you have something holding you accountable to be at the gym regularly. There are actually tons of class deals on Groupon and LivingSocial!! Do you have a lot of girl friends? Sometimes just talking to them and catching up and seeing what they are up to can make you feel better. What is your situation? Are you working or studying? If not, maybe try and write or blog about something or read something that's maybe a bit hi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/15 02:44 PM |
| 3 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricks"Not really, but I've been feeling a little neglected lately, and like we haven't been to spending time together. I like spending time with you, and I miss that." Ah can't believe I missed this. This is actually perfect, so thank you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 07:52 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksThat would be controlling and like you're in charge of who he spends time with. Yes, exactly! No one wants to make that decision and be made out to be the controlling gf who tells him what to do. I guess I take that phrase as him seriously wanting me to make that decision for him, in that if he says "I'll go if this is important to you" and I say "This is important to me" then I'm essentially telling him he needs to come. If I'm not seriously making the decision that makes me feel better about t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 07:40 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksI think you can still leave the decision to him. I guess what I'm asking is what kind of response to give to still leave the decision up to him without, as others have pointed out, turning it into a shit test. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 07:38 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksso he can make a well-informed decision. I don't think he's really doing that when he says "if it's important to you, I'll go." He's in fact trying to get the girl to make the informed decision based on the information that he'd rather do something else. I guess the response should more be like "yes it's important to me, but it's not more important than your comfort or enjoyment and I certainly would rather you be happy than force you to go" | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 07:28 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksAlternatively, if you are seriously hellbent on pretending like the event means nothing to you so he can go have fun, absolutely know that you cannot use it against him. You said it was okay, so you can't let him know after the fact that it absolutely wasn't. But that's why it's important to determine how important the event really is or if you are just being silly about wanting to have him all to yourself. Right I mean I think we are in agreement here. What I'm saying is that it's hard to say "… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 07:26 PM |
| 2 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksI guess this mentality must bother me a lot more than others. If he doesn't want to go he shouldn't commit. If it's something that doesn't have a justification really except that he just doesn't want to go, he should be upfront and honest and trust that his gf is going to be understanding. If he feels like he can't say no, he needs to bring up why he feels uncomfortable about that. I feel in turn, this allows the girl to make an informed decision about whether or not they are compatible- if he o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 04:44 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksGood to keep in mind. I guess something like "yes this is important to me but I understand if there is something more important to me" would work but then I'm scared he'll take that as a shit test. I want to convey a sense of "I am understanding and want you to have fun" but also a sense of "my feelings would be hurt if you don't really have a good/important reason to break this promise" Like a "of course I want you to have the freedom to visit out of town friends who you only see once or twice … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 03:13 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksIt kind of sounds like the real issue here is that you have hurt feelings that he would rather do something else. This I think hits the nail on the head, but also that it feels like the guy doesn't trust the girl to be understanding. I think I would take it a lot better if he said something like "Hey my friend is in town and he is usually only here once or twice a year and while I realize I'm backing out of a commitment, unfortunately this is the only time I have to hang out with him and I need … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 03:04 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksHey, if you'd rather spend time with the guys tonight, I understand. I was really looking forward to introducing you to my brother, though. Do you think you could give them a rain check? Yes thank you. I think this is a good response, although I do think I'd be upset if he still decided to bail. I guess I'd also be upset if it was more of a "well there's no hard plans but I'd like to create plans with the guys." But thank you. I think this is a good way to phrase it so that he realizes that if h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 03:00 PM |
| 2 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksWhile your husband sounds awesome, I guess my experience is that the guy does in fact get pouty about it. Maybe I'll just be looking out for better compatibility in my next relationship. I agree you should respect his boundaries when it's something he is doing for you and engage him. I think I have an issue with saying "yes this is important to me" because I don't want to force anything and I need to work on that. I absolutely agree that if it's not that important, of course you should let him d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 02:51 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksHe would probably rather not upset you, so if you tell him it's honestly important (to you), he will likely end up going with you because of that. Right. But now the situation has turned into something where you know you are preventing him from doing something he wants for something you think is important, and while a perfect captain would just say "Ok" and fully participate in the thing you initially had planned, my experience is that the guy will not be all that happy at the event because it's… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 02:33 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksThe trick is in respecting their reaction to your priorities. Yeah, I guess this is it. I mean how do you figure out if something is important enough to actually say "this is important to me?" I really can't think of anything except a planned dinner to meet the parents or your own wedding where the event is important enough to compromise the comfort of your SO. But there are definitely events you can really look forward to, and while, as an isolated incident, they're not all "that important" you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 02:28 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricks"Well, you agreed to go with me. The bake sale isn't the most important event in my life, but I was looking forward to doing it with you/dreading being solo, so it is a little bit important to me that you're bailing on a promise. I don't want you to have a bad time, but I'm disappointed." I guess this is the part I and I feel like some other girls I know need help with. I guess with something like a bake sale, that is clearly an obligation and you can play the "well this is going to suck and I w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 02:16 PM |
| 2 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksEven before that, I think the problem is that he is agreeing in the first place to go to something that he doesn't really want to do Right. Obviously it would be a lot more helpful if the guy says something like "I don't really want to go but if nothing else is going on that night, I'll go." But I even had one situation where that was the agreement and nothing was going on that night, so my bf (at the time) actually hit his friends up to create something going on that night so that he could bail… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 02:06 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksIf he understands why it's important to you (and cares about you), then he should not be resentful that he has to keep his obligation. I mean I guess this is my point. In a perfect world with perfect captains, they would understand the things that are important to you and not be resentful in keeping an obligation. But I feel that many (good) captains either do not understand, or perhaps have some hangup about keeping certain obligations because they don't want to seem "whipped" (or maybe I'm ove… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 02:04 PM |
| 2 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey trickswhy is it unreasonable for him to realise it's kind of a douche move and let her know he'll stick by his word if she wants him to? If my man blew me off after agreeing to do something I wouldn't be very happy and it would be hard for me to trust his word. Yes. This is what I'm getting at. In redirecting the decision back to her, he is redirecting accountability, because now she is either the controlling gf who makes him go or she gives him permission, which means she can't be mad about it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 01:59 PM |
| 2 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksThank you for your response. I guess I'm wondering how you would go about responding without sounding controlling if it's the latter where it's more of a..."if you don't go, I can't go" type situation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 01:57 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksHe should just say "I don't want to do X." Then not do it. Not "Well... I guess I can do X if you tell me it's really really important to you." Then make you either order him to do so or give him permission not to. Yes thank you so much. This is exactly what I'm getting at! | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 01:55 PM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksI would rather he acknowledge that he might break plans, say what it's for, and then ask about the impact on me. It's more direct and easy to respect. Yes this is exactly what I'm getting at | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/15 01:54 PM |
| 3 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksHmm I agree. But I guess I would more phrase it in a way where I'm taking responsibility (if I were the man): "Hey I know we had plans on this day but so and so is in town for only this one night and unless you had something very special planned I think I should take this opportunity to do this." But maybe this is just a personal preference thing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/12/15 06:14 AM |
| 5 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksTo address your primary question: The simpler, and more honest, route is to never invite someone to something you know they won't enjoy. Chose your battles. If it is an event which is actually very important then you are responsible for ensuring that he knows the level of importance. If you say it isn't then why be the slightest bit surprised or hurt when he decides not to go? I definitely agree with these. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/12/15 06:08 AM |
| 2 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksI agree a man shouldn't have to ask permission and that I think this question is sort of to be polite if he knows for sure the plans aren't that important. I guess I just don't really see myself finding a good way of saying "this is important" because, yes, in a perfect world, nothing is more important than the fun and happiness of a SO, but in a realistic world, I might feel upset if he decided a casual hangout with the guys was more important than say, a semi-important (but not super important… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/12/15 06:07 AM |
| 1 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksHonestly, if he catches wind of guy friend stuff, he is probably going to want to do that more and probably does want to make sure he's not going to be bothering you if he goes to do that instead; this is especially true if he doesn't hang out with his buddies a lot. It's effectively just him wanting to make sure he's not being a dick since you made plans first. I mean this is my point. There is no way he'd bring it up if he didn't actually want to bail. I think in most cases, most women will pr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/12/15 05:59 AM |
| 3 | Responding to "I'll go if it's really that important to you" and other flakey tricksI would say "i want you to have fun today. whichever event you prefer, i think you should go to that." or something. that way, i stand out of the way. the decision is on him. i don't nag or control him. i don't come off as crazy. harmony stands. I like this. I guess the thing is that I feel like the guy is trying to get the girl to make a decision but I suppose there is a possibility of him trying to honestly assess how important she feels the event is in order to make an informed decision. I wi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/12/15 04:47 AM |
| 1 | I don't know how to communicate. I recant on my feelings repeatedly. I need help.I think if you keep coming here, you will get better with finding the words to express your feelings. Right now you are insecure and upset and rightly so- he is prioritizing another woman over you. You need to figure out your own boundaries- this is something we can't choose, unfortunately. We can't control our emotions. Clearly him hanging out with a girl everyday is crossing a boundary for you- and in my personal opinion, you are not overreacting at all. Can you provide me any details on how h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/15 05:40 PM |
| 2 | Boyfriend doesn't want to get married until he's older, I don't want to waste too much time...He will propose when he thinks it's right for us. In my perfect world that would be around age 25, but we don't live in my perfect world and as long as we have a committed, loving, and respectful relationship then there isn't anything to worry about. Yes! There are two worlds to be considered. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/15 06:08 PM |
| 3 | Boyfriend doesn't want to get married until he's older, I don't want to waste too much time...Some horror stories for you: Roommate's older sister is a devout catholic and was dating a guy for 8 years. She's 26 and they just had the marriage talk. They ended up breaking up because their lives are going in separate directions. The good news is that she is still a virgin (I believe this, but I'm not sure how he went for 8 years without pushing for sex/wanting to marry for sex). The awful news is that she is 26 and needs to start from scratch. My friend's boss was dating a guy from 23 until… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/15 06:04 PM |
| 9 | Is it normal to feel embarrassed by your significant other? How much should I ignore those feelings?I mean I'd say work on this first and hopefully the admiration will follow. Honestly though if you're embarrassed enough that you wanted to post here, maybe take a good, long hard look at whether or not you respect him because right now, I think you see yourself as above him with the details you've provided. I think you yourself think you can do better, and that's not doing any favors in preventing future branchswinging. Try to focus on the things that you fell in love with and remind yourself y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/12/15 03:58 PM |
| 2 | What are you doing for your men for Christmas?What a great idea with the advent calendar!! For hot chocolate, I recommend making a spicy hot chocolate mix with crushed red pepper and chunks of dark chocolate added. I love the combination of dark chocolate and spice! As for decorations, maybe sneak in some mistletoe? | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/12/15 03:52 PM |
| 9 | Is it normal to feel embarrassed by your significant other? How much should I ignore those feelings?Are you sexually attracted to him? | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/12/15 03:42 PM |
| 1 | Need a lot of general relationship advice. Throw the RPW book at me now because I definitely need it.You and I...we're a lot alike. Please keep posting updates to your situation. The water analogy makes a lot of sense- but now that you've told him how you feel, you need to step back. Like /u/TempestTcup posted, be the best water you can be. I get the sense that you're impatiently waiting for the past to truly be gone and to be a "normal" couple, and when that didn't happen as fast as you thought, you broke down. I think that with the craziness of your move, you're going to need to be just a lit… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/15 09:16 PM |
| 1 | Mini rant regarding calories and womenIt's not all of the time! Just on special occasions. Sometimes I'll eat half of it and then eat the other half for later. To be fair, the last blood test I had was February. I'm probably due for another. EDIT: Flair?? Yes! | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/11/15 08:43 PM |
| 2 | Mini rant regarding calories and womenI totally sympathize with you. 5'2'' over here and yeah, sometimes I'll eat a chipotle burrito and be done for the day because with all of the toppings, tortillas, etc. I get it will be 1300 calories. In fact, I consider this a "splurge" because it's so carby - if I want to be more healthy I'll forgo the tortilla and rice. My friends will notice that I've only had one meal for the day and then insist I eat. So annoying. I mean I understand smaller frequent meals are more healthy than one large m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/11/15 04:54 PM |
| 2 | Just a lurker looking for adviseI'll go over for dinner and leave maybe 4 hours later because he wants to show me things or watch tv, then I get home and he texts me saying I stayed for too long. This would actually drive me nuts. He doesn't have the balls to even hint "hey I'm kind of tired" but then texts you what you did wrong after? At least he is being honest about his needs but I have a feeling you're the type of person who needs clear and direct communication, plus this indicates that he doesn't think you can handle cri… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/11/15 05:38 PM |
| 3 | How much makeup is usually not considered trickery?/u/pildorasamargas noted to wear the least amount you feel comfortable with and I definitely agree with that. I have dark purple undereyes, as well, but surprisingly enough, my number one priority can't-live-without makeup product is NOT concealer, it's the eyeliner on that lower lash. I use a brown pencil, and it usually makes my eyes pop/makes them look bigger very naturally. Bottom lash eyeliner is honestly the one thing I never leave the house with and I know I look tired without it. Like I … | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/15 08:42 PM |
| 1 | Asking Ex for FeedbackThank you:) | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/15 09:08 PM |
| 11 | Asking Ex for FeedbackUnfortunately, I think most guys are not nice enough to be completely honest with you- nor do I think they have the analytical willpower to really figure out what it was that made them want to end it. Looking at my past relationships and also at my friends, I would honestly say that any relationship that was 6 months or less and ended by the guy were due to a lack of genuine interest- whether that was because all he wanted was sex, he was never really that into her but wanted a girlfriend for ap… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/15 03:03 PM |
| 3 | Meatless Man FoodMay I ask what goals you're trying to accomplish with meatless mondays? Are you aiming to save money, eat healthier, or make a political statement? I feel if you figure out your goal, there might be another way to achieve it if he ends up not liking meatless mondays. Honestly the idea itself sounds kind of fun- make it less about how there's no meat and more about making it something creative. Turn it into a competition- what's the craziest/tastiest/whateverest thing you can make without using m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/11/15 04:07 PM |
| 1 | What do you think about women getting technical degrees and having jobs?Fellow physicist here! French as well. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/15 03:05 PM |
| 2 | What do you think about women getting technical degrees and having jobs?Fellow stem major chiming in here. Go ahead and major in what you're good in- I think engineering/computer science/hard sciences are very useful for most careers, even if you don't directly become an engineer, and provide a great backup. You just need to select the right job. I went legal. With engineering, you could become an examiner at the USPTO (VERY flexible with hours and stable pay), become a patent agent, patent lawyer, or even just work at a law firm as a paralegal. With all of these le… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/15 02:59 PM |
| 3 | Have you ladies seen the John Henry short film?I watched it this weekend and definitely felt similarly! On a sort of (but not really) related note did you watch the others? The Little Matchbox Girl was kind of dark and I stopped watching after that... | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/11/15 06:51 PM |
| 1 | Casual Sex...Questions for WomenSorry if this is too blunt but I think it might be useful. Have you ever actively wanted casual sex instead of a relationship? Only once, and I did not act on it. I had just figured out in college (by myself) how to orgasm, and some guy was definitely trying to get it in and texted me a lot late night. I kind of entertained the idea because he was my "inspiration" I guess and wanted to see what it would be like IRL, but ultimately knew that I did not want to date him. I still don't understand my… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/15 03:13 PM |
| 2 | Vintage items, thrift store hauls, hand-me-downs, and heirloomsvery cool ad! Thank you for that! | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/10/15 08:23 PM |
| 1 | How to find a guy without ED issues without riding the CC to do it?Then I'm not sure what the point of your post is. All relationships are different and people's needs will vary, but what I can say is that most guys below the age of 50 do not have ED. You would proceed as with any other break up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/15 08:23 PM |
| 1 | How to find a guy without ED issues without riding the CC to do it?I really don't think ED is all that common and I feel the chance that the next guy you date will have the same problem is fairly small- so small that it definitely shouldn't be the reason why you want to stay in a relationship you obviously want to leave. Also you can't just screen guys to see if they have it and a lot of normal guys will even be nervous the first time you get intimate. Is ED really the only thing wrong with your relationship? If it is, I think you should consider fixing it by t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/15 04:35 PM |
| 2 | Vintage items, thrift store hauls, hand-me-downs, and heirloomsThank you for this tidbit! I love love love my pyrex (pretty sure I have the soda-lime glass version, though I can still put it on the stove at medium heat), and as a techy, it's very interesting to me that Corning was the company initially behind PYREX- Corning is great glass company and they make glass and materials for smartphones, etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/10/15 03:59 PM |
| 3 | Is this rude or self respect?Hey also - melatonin is great for keeping you asleep once you're down. It's actually one of the only hormones sold over the counter. Look in the vitamin/supplement section of your grocery store. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/10/15 08:00 PM |
| 1 | [FR] My very 1st RPW field report and some fantastic personal and relationship progress that is quite exciting (:Thank you so so much for your reply. I have a much better understanding of where you started now. It seems you really did like D from the very beginning (as your old relationship was waning out) but external forces were convincing you to not press for an exclusive relationship right away (and I have had guys propose the "no expectations" type of relationship before but if the relationship is going anywhere, things will fall into place into a normal bf/gf relationship with expectations and bounda… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/15 10:05 PM |
| 8 | Do you think it's true that most women don't have hobbies?I would agree that most girls don't have hobbies, but sometimes it feels that a lot of guys also don't have hobbies- "party guys" who work their 9-5 jobs and then just drink. I definitely feel that when I'm single, I have more hobbies (to keep me busy and interesting, I guess) and when I'm in a relationship, it's harder to have organized hobbies (like a kickball league with set games) because I want to be flexible for the person I'm with and like being able to go on spur-of-the-moment adventures… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/15 07:16 PM |
| 3 | [FR] My very 1st RPW field report and some fantastic personal and relationship progress that is quite exciting (:If you don't mind me asking, when did you realize you really, truly wanted to be with him? It sounds like at first, he was more into you than you were into him, and you were totally fine to be a plate. Looking back, was there this sort of unintentional light dread coming from him that made you rethink moving away? Or did you realize that you had always liked him but for some reason prevented the thing you always wanted? Also thank you so much for pointing out the imaginary person/rehearsal pheno… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/15 06:35 PM |
| 2 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?As for whether he desires her or not, I'd say yes, because if there's a half decent looking woman in a man's life odds are he's thought about sleeping with her. Thanks. This I guess is what I was looking for. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/10/15 09:24 PM |
| 5 | Renegotiating the marriage contract.I think every permanently committed couple should be able to negotiate their own marriage contract- afterall, it's their own relationship. The thing is, the government offers their own pre-set marriage contract, and basically says "if you sign up with us, we'll give you these benefits (and risks)" and most people decide that's fair, as they can alter the government contract further with prenups. The benefits of being legally recognized as a spouse are pretty alluring in many cases and especially… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/15 09:16 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?I agree a male celebrity will of course reject more, but suppose an average guy were given an easy opportunity to easily bang a 5 or 6- I think the difference is that most men would in fact say yes. Is this because they are simply offering or because he does desire her back in some form? I realize the situation is hypothetical, but it's to determine the level of desire- which is why I have the comparison question what percentage would you actively pursue. My question boils down to- how many wome… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/10/15 01:50 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?so you're asking about an essentially fictional situation. I understand it's rare, but it's to get a better idea of desire. Women get approached all of the time, but obviously would not consider having sex with or going on a date with all or even a majority of guys. I feel like the situation, if sex is what is being offered, would be different for guys- that they would in fact take most women up on their offer. What is she really offering, and what is he really rejecting? I mean she really is of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/10/15 07:42 PM |
| 1 | Can you find red pill explanations for most of the breakup stories you know?I'd say all of my breakups could be explained by red pill reasons, but not all because the guy did not step up to the alpha plate. Out of 3 LTRs, only one was due to the guy losing "alphaness." This is also the only breakup desired by me instead of the guy. My first LTR (high school) ended because my boyfriend started liking another girl and "fell out of love with me." He was probably slightly above my SMV, although that changed as we grew up and he still tells me he regrets breaking up. I was p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/10/15 05:25 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?I'd like to think girls all over you at the bar asking you to take them home is more common than one showing up at your doorstep. My point in asking the question was to get a better idea of the male drive/need for sex. Do you guys desire sex from a lot of women, or is it that you would do it simply because they offered (bangability v. desireability). When a guy I'm dating rejects a moderately attractive girl who is offering sex, how much self control is he practicing? Is it just a little bit, be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/10/15 04:54 PM |
| 2 | How do you handle a breakup with class?Here's what I recently said: I have really appreciated our time together and you will always mean a lot to me. However, from here on out, I have no interest in hearing from you unless you have definitely changed your mind about the importance I have in your life, in which case I’d be willing to have a discussion. No snapchats or anything. I’m not depressed or suicidal and I’ll be fine without you. I wish you the best. If we are ever to be friends, I am definitely not ready for that right now, an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/10/15 07:48 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?If my only option is a 5ft 200lb woman I'll put a curtain over her body and get in done. Thank you so much for your reply. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/10/15 07:10 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?Bad sex is worse than no sex. Interesting, thanks. So when you're in a committed relationship, you're loyal, but do you still find other women bangable? Or is your sexual desire for others truly curbed? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/10/15 07:09 PM |
| 0 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?It's like asking what percentage of cars you would drive if someone just gave one to you. I didn't know this, thank you. So you would in fact take any girl up on her offer? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/10/15 07:08 PM |
| 2 | Ride The Rapids: riding the tough times outI'm exactly the same. I don't like things sitting unresolved and it stresses me out when I feel like things are still tense. I think you're right that the solution is to not take problems so seriously unless they relate to infidelity or lack of love. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/15 03:56 PM |
| 6 | Spinsterhood?Better to be single than with a guy you don't respect. If you're not sexually attracted to him, then what's the point? Comfort? Friendship? I think you're preventing him from finding someone who will love him the way he wants to be loved, and you're only prolonging you finding someone you are able to love sincerely and genuinely. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/15 03:15 PM |
| 1 | Would it be possible for all men to become alpha?I completely agree! They may not aim to be an alpha male of the tribe, but aim to be a masculine man that attracts more women | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/10/15 03:02 PM |
| 1 | Would it be possible for all men to become alpha?Perhaps not 100% of men can improve their SMV relative to each other, but 100% can certainly step up their game to become better than most or all women. They won't all be the alpha male on a larger scope, but they will be more "alpha" in the household and to women. Most men are already more fit than all women. They could close the college education gap and become more educated and/or compete with the "strong independent women" getting their PhDs (although you could argue staying in acedemia is p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/10/15 02:59 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?I agree it's recent in evolutionary terms. That's why I asked what was meant by recent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/10/15 01:25 PM |
| 2 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?Bangable as in she just shows up at my doorstep and says fuck me? Yes this is essentially what I meant. I was more thinking a girl throws herself at you at a bar and all you have to say is "let's take this back to my place" or closest hotel or whatever. I do agree that it depends on what kind of area you're in. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/10/15 01:20 PM |
| 2 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?If young women shaped up like I said and young men got their shit together, got in shape, got careers going early and some social skills (as opposed to being on reddit, smoking weed, playing video games, going to jail etc) I think we could see a return to monogamy. I agree. I think both genders need to step up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/10/15 01:18 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?What do you mean by "recent"? I'm pretty sure syphilis has been around since Shakespeare | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/15 06:37 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?More importantly, since developing abundance I've yet to get a girl I want to have a monogamous relationship with Of course, because you have higher standards. Have your standards changed for bangability, though, since an abundance mentality? Do you find that your body doesn't respond to some girls like it used to? Thank you for your responses. They have been helpful. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/15 06:36 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?Very helpful. Thank you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/15 04:00 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?A 50-year-old man is likely to find a lot more women bangable than a 20-year-old. True. Thank you. It's also reassuring to hear that the honeymoon period really does make less girls bangable and it's not just that you are more motivated to practice self control. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/15 03:59 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?Do this change based on how often you are getting laid? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/15 03:57 PM |
| 2 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?Does being married truly curb your desire for other women or does it just mean you won't act on it? So, my dad actually has the same revulsion to fat women. He told my brother he wanted to try one time with one just to cross it off a list (well before he married my mom). She denied because she had a boyfriend. A week later she was begging for it and he just couldn't go through with it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/15 03:56 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?Thank you for your responses. They've been helpful. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/15 03:54 PM |
| 1 | Question for males of both pills: What percentage of women are "bangable" to you? What percentage of women do you sexually desire?Are you saying you sexually desire all women? No women sexually repulse you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/15 03:22 PM |
| 5 | Is it that wrong and bad to be earning more than your boyfriend? ;(What I've noticed about guys is that they really take their financial goals seriously. My friend's boyfriend didn't want to celebrate his 25th birthday because he's not where he wants to be in life (his goal was to buy a house by his birthday but he has only just begun the mortgage pre-approval process) even though he just got a promotion at his job. They really take it to heart. I say give him space to work things out, be supportive if he wants to spend more time working on his career goals or … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/15 01:43 PM |
| 3 | My critique of Red Pill Men and Red Pill WomenHere's my attempt: They want someone who they can respect, sure, but also someone with a mix of "beta" qualities to provide for them. Obviously a woman strikes gold with an Alpha Bux, but good mates can be found in men who are softer alphas or more assertive, masculine betas. It's all relative- if the woman perceives her mate as an alpha, respects him, and vets him as a good leader, then he is good husband material- he doesn't need to be Chad or the textbook Red Pill AF. And of course, it is the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/10/15 02:57 PM |
| 1 | My critique of Red Pill Men and Red Pill WomenI'm sort of a new user, but I feel that the RPW subreddit does acknowledge that some men do not want to get marry, and certainly doesn't deny that it is risky for men to do so. However, not all men on TRP follow the advice to "never get married." If the guys are 100% sure they want a family, they can apply TRP on "hard mode." It is where they are unsure that they are advised to not get married. Marriage for men is such that it is a huge risk for a huge reward- if risk is to be minimized, men wou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/10/15 02:51 PM |
| 3 | Being demanding will not help me get into a serious relationship. I know what I've done wrong in the past with this guy, but is there anything I can do RIGHT from here forward so things go the way he wants? Is there any way I could get what I want as a byproduct?Lol I see what you're trying to say. On the one hand you've been talking for four months, but on the other hand you haven't really escalated yet. How did the aftermath of your breakdown go down? Did you apologize by saying that you didn't mean what you said or did you just apologize by freaking out? Either way this puts you in kind of a delicate position. You could maybe play it off that while you're not really IN love with him yet, your freak out was an immature reaction to your fear of becomin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/15 02:01 PM |
| 5 | Being demanding will not help me get into a serious relationship. I know what I've done wrong in the past with this guy, but is there anything I can do RIGHT from here forward so things go the way he wants? Is there any way I could get what I want as a byproduct?I'm going to agree here with /u/TempestTcup's advice- if you do decide to go through with this rendez-vous (it sounds like you aren't ready to cut ties), then turn up the girl game and have a brief conversation. Chocolate Chip Cookies are a great idea! Guys on the TRP preach to friend-zoned guys that they need to escalate to sex and if refused, get out. Here, escalate to cutesy romantic things (slowly), and if refused get out. At the end of your visit, I'd highly encourage saying what Tempest sa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/10/15 09:11 PM |
| 1 | Ladies night ideas?Thanks!! Do you live near a big city or town? There are usually events/things to go to. My friends like to go to various arts and crafts festivals and "tastes of ____" events. You might think these are geared more toward an older crowd, but you can make pretty much anything fun if you're with your friends. The hard part is finding good girlfriends. The easy part is finding things to do with them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/10/15 05:13 PM |
| 1 | What (YOUR) men wantThe last couple of guys I have dated like that I am playful and can keep up with inside jokes. With my most recent ex, we would really develop these- instead of simply laughing at something he said I'd keep adding on to it until we had this crazy alternative life that we could continually joke about- like being superheroes or divorcees who are getting back together, etc.- and he said that is what made him decide to ultimately commit to me and sort of cut off this other admirer he had who couldn'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/10/15 04:55 PM |
| 1 | The Vetting ProcessHmm I will admit that when you're dating someone you're attracted to you will want sex more, but I feel like it takes me a while to develop that attraction or even find a guy I'm attracted to like that. Perhaps other women are different, but I feel my sexual desire does not outweigh my desire for an emotional connection or commitment, first. I will say that I think women who would describe themselves as "poly" are the minority, and many are only doing so to justify their cheating. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/15 08:21 PM |
| 3 | Ladies night ideas?We just had a pumpkin carving night where we carved and painted mini pumpkins, baked the pumpkin seeds, and drank some pumpkin porter and ate dinner while catching up on what was going on in our lives. Now I have some cute carved pumpkins for the mantle above my fireplace! Next Sunday we have plans to do an early morning session of hot yoga, go to brunch, and then go to this fall festival in our area that features a pumpkin carving contest, hayrides, local crafts, and local breweries. Maybe I so… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/15 02:51 PM |
| 1 | The Vetting ProcessFeminists should stop telling everyone what men should think and start listening to what men actually do think. I completely agree. The thing is some men will even say "I could never judge a woman on her past. It doesn't matter to me" because they are socially conditioned to believe that slut shaming is bad and do not want to appear backwards or misogynist. The problem is that they are really not being honest about their feelings. Feminists need to start looking at their actions, as well- does t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/15 02:46 PM |
| 1 | The Vetting ProcessThis to me is very different from a woman who is actively insatiable, cheating on partners when trying to be monogamous and keeping a number of male plates actively spinning. I would honestly argue that most promiscuous women are not truly insatiable or having sex because they're strong and independent and can honestly have no-strings-attached sex with multiple men- I rather think that most have low self esteem or are deluded into thinking that a higher partner count makes them desirable. Also, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/15 02:35 PM |
| 4 | The Travel-Widow, or why travel for the single woman is a red flagI really liked this post because it puts into words something I always thought. I really appreciated the analogy to the alpha widow. I will say that most girls in my area always have a reason for travelling: whether it's a study abroad program, volunteering, or whatever. The thing is, their reason is a very thinly veiled cover-up to justify a month of crazy partying. "Studying abroad" definitely helps you to master a foreign language, but the girls are still speaking English among themselves and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/15 02:05 PM |
| 4 | How to keep an alpha male?Don't be the casual screw by not being the casual screw- meaning do not have sex. The problem is that many alphas will refuse to wait for full on, facecbook official commitment before having sex. Stick to your guns until you have the form of commitment you're comfortable with (it doesn't have to be marriage or even on facebook), though this may be hard to pull off if he knows you've previously casually screwed around. Talking for a bit before actually dating is a good compromise- he doesn't feel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/10/15 06:47 PM |
| 0 | How to keep an alpha male?The alpha is more the Ace than the King. I love this. If you want a serious LTR, your best bet is a high level beta with certain alpha qualities, the "leader of men" types. ehh I'd go for a soft Alpha. I'd aim slightly older, for dudes that are like 26-28 and have already got a foothold in some kind of career with education/training finished, and also have interesting hobbies, fitness, aesthetics etc. I agree. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/10/15 06:40 PM |
| 3 | How to keep an alpha male?anymore than the guy has to keep up the "alpha" stuff that women like for the rest of his life. NO. no. Marriage is TRP hard mode. The guy stays alpha, the girl keeps her tingles. The girl stays submissive and feminine and that's positive reinforcement for him to stay alpha. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/10/15 06:37 PM |
| 1 | RANT: Watched two friends have a mind-blowing conversationtouche | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/15 09:27 PM |
| 1 | DAE dread themselves?Thank you :) and yeah I've been there with the pouty, sad mood | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/15 09:21 PM |
| 2 | RANT: Watched two friends have a mind-blowing conversationI don't care how great a leader someone is, if they aren't fun it means nothing. I mean not to nitpick, but it seems like she is compromising on some things here. Not everyone is going to want a leader or realize they want one. However, I do agree that it's annoying to see the Megan Trainors stampeding all over facebook refusing to learn how to cook for their man and how the hott guys out of their league need to learn to not be pigs and love them for their inner beauty. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/15 09:19 PM |
| 2 | DAE dread themselves?He's literally told me to stop blaming him for the things I read online. Lol with my ex it was to stop blaming him for cheating on me in my dreams. I had nightmares like that a couple of times and I would wake up and retreat to the other side of the bed all pissy. Not my best moments. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/15 08:54 PM |
| 2 | DAE dread themselves?This has happened to me- so much I'll be in a bad mood the next time he tries to talk to me or I see him! My advice is to keep reminding yourself it's all in your head and imagine him behind his desk all day being boring. Distract yourself by drawing something for him or doing something else crafty!! I honestly think this is what guys think about us everytime we aren't with them- that we're constantly getting hit on. This is why girls don't pull dread game- being a girl in itself is enough to ma… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/15 07:28 PM |
| 2 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?I definitely appreciate your observations, so thank you for taking the time to read my entire response and respond to that. I'm glad you agree with me on the "I miss you too" response. That really REALLY rubs me the wrong way, whereas he thinks it's just polite. And honestly how am I ever going to trust he's not just being polite to me when he says that? So many issues. The thing is, he did say "it's not really my place to tell her that her boyfriend wouldn't appreciate her saying that" and I do… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/15 08:44 PM |
| 2 | Damn it.Honestly tell him it makes you uncomfortable. Don't attack him and say "wow I can't believe you're flirting with my friends" but come to him and say "look after all we've been through it's really tough for me to see/watch you look at my friends and I'm not sure this is going to work out if I'm going to be so insecure I'm scared to have friends come and visit." | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/15 04:58 PM |
| 2 | BF won't tell family about me after a year - is this a red flag?I definitely understand your concern, but unless you strongly suspect he's trying to hide you from important people in his life, I don't think it's as big of a red flag. Has he introduced you to his good friends? This is a bit personal, but I've had a hard time introducing my friends/bfs to my parents in the past three years because my mom has become slightly alcoholic. Straight up it's embarrassing. In high school, my parents were great parents- cool even- and my house was always the default pl… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/15 04:20 PM |
| 3 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Hey!! Thank you for asking. I broke up with him after discussing it a couple of more times. He is currently pleading with me to get back together. I'm trying to decide after my PMS week is over and my head is clear. Wall of text below: We discussed it once and I sort of felt ok, but then later on I wanted to really talk about the details. The good points of these pre-breakup talks were that he insisted he didn't mean anything, that he agrees catching up with exes is NOT ok (plot twist- he is inc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/15 03:37 PM |
| 1 | Damn it.I am so sorry you're going through this. I know your doctor has said this but I do want to say that it's possible he's being honest. You both could have had HPV long before undetected. My friend, whose father is a gynecologist, even caught it and she went through gardasil! This might be skewed from what other girls say here, so take this with a grain of salt, but I'd be WAY WAY more upset if I found out my husband hit on my friend vs. had sex with a stripper on a guys' night out (and I'm sorry..… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/15 02:46 PM |
| 3 | Looking for some honest advice from some RPWI think this is good. Live your life :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/15 06:27 PM |
| 2 | Looking for some honest advice from some RPWSounds like my area...but doesn't he have any friends? Look I mean it's ultimately your decision, and I sympathize that you're probably in a tough situation where you are in a limbo between a real relationship and a friends with benefits/plate situation. You're exclusive, so you can't make yourself available for anyone better, but you're exclusive, and he's led you to believe you will have a real relationship when he's sorted his life out. First I'd say that if you're suspicious AT ALL of his in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/15 06:23 PM |
| 2 | Looking for some honest advice from some RPWhe knows we'll end up together if I'm still available whenever that time is. Did he say this?? Why wouldn't you be available if you guys are seeing each other exclusively? | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/15 06:04 PM |
| 2 | Looking for some honest advice from some RPWDoes he have an exit plan regarding his living situation or is he going to continue living with his ex? | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/15 06:03 PM |
| 2 | Looking for some honest advice from some RPWI agree. At worst he is married to her and lying to OP about their exclusivity. At best he is using his ex to maintain the home and his kid while he gets his sexual needs met by a side piece...who he's exclusive with mostly because he doesn't have time for any other side pieces. It seems like kind of a good setup for him. He can be a good father who is present in the home, he can have his "ex" play housewife and keep the home tidy, and he can have his side-piece who conforms to his schedule and … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/15 06:01 PM |
| 2 | Looking for some honest advice from some RPWI want more time It's pretty clear you're not going to get that unless he's given you a pretty precise timeline on when things will ease up on his new job and he has said he wants to spend more time with you when that happens. Do you guys talk often? Does he emotionally support you? Or is this a once-a-week sex appointment when it's most convenient for him? | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/15 04:48 PM |
| 2 | Looking for some honest advice from some RPWzero commitment right now, yes? He's not sleeping with any other women, so that's something but I agree not much if he isn't spending time with her other than sex. I agree she needs to figure out what she means by "commitment" since he can't give her more time and doesn't want to feel obligated to spend time with her. I will say, there is something to be said for choosing to spend time with someone instead of feeling obligated to out of commitment, but this means much more if you are not officia… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/15 04:46 PM |
| 1 | Question for the "morality" people of any sideI personally put "honesty" higher than "harm" when it comes to morality. If you fall out of love with your SO, the right thing to do is to tell your SO how you feel. What you do from there should be a discussion involving your SO. It will probably end in you leaving, but perhaps you will give them a chance to reignite that attraction. It might be that the person who gets left will be less hurt overall the earlier they start the healing process because they will have more of an opportunity to fin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/10/15 04:28 PM |
| 2 | Men Don't Care About Your Degree?I remember in one of my high school english courses one of the books we read emphasized three important skills for women: cooking, sewing, and French. I think knowing French honestly just comes off as very feminine, just as knowing how to sew and cook well come off as feminine skills. I also majored in French and a hard science (which is what got me my job). While guys find the hard science major "interesting" they always want to talk more about the french major. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/15 02:28 PM |
| 5 | Looking for some honest advice from some RPWSure. I just feel like if he's living with her and has a kid with her...and then he's also able to score side plates...then he's not going to try and mess with that setup. I understand you're exclusive, but it sounds like you're still in "rotation" if that makes sense. Once he's done with you, he'll be sexually exclusive with the next side piece while his "ex" maintains the home. I guess it's up to you to decide what you want. Clearly from the fact that you posted, you want more, but what is tha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/15 10:13 PM |
| 1 | Time?Just saw this response right after I added mine. Why would you ever get back with someone who went back to their ex after dating you?? If he truly believed he wanted to be with you, either now or at some vague point in the future when he's "ready", why would he go back to his ex? Even if that were the case, don't you think he's being inconsiderate to his ex by getting back together with her when he knows they're going to break up again? You'd think he'd want to prove to you that he has strong mo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/15 10:05 PM |
| 1 | Time?he's definitely getting back with his ex Wait he told you up front he's getting back with his ex?? He will not be ready in 1-3 months, and I would NEVER talk to him again. He is essentially saying that he's not ready for you, but still ready for his ex. That puts you below her in the list of priorities. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/15 10:01 PM |
| 11 | Looking for some honest advice from some RPWI would say learn from this response. You branch swung from your beta boyfriend to be a plate for an alpha. Look for alpha traits in your next partner, as that is something you clearly value, and do not have sex too early next time. Is he sharing a bedroom with his ex? Either way, if he were truly done with her, he would have found a way to get out of that living situation asap. Honestly, though, you probably do not want to be with someone who already has a kid. His ex will always be in his life… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/15 09:58 PM |
| 3 | Time?If he's not keeping you on the back burner, then you shouldn't wait. You're going against what he said. However, if he told you he'll hit you up when he's "ready" or otherwise expecting you to wait, then he is keeping you there. Worst case scenario is he's thinking about getting back with his ex and you're his backup plan. Best case scenario is that he is smart enough to realize he's not ready for a relationship, and feels bad being in one with you. In either case, you're not a priority to him r… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/10/15 08:57 PM |
| 2 | Time?Are you saying your heart is set on waiting? Then what's essentially happened is the thing he allegedly was trying to avoid (of course I think really he just wanted you on the backburner while he figures things out- if he really thought you were special, he'd just continue to see you but move slowly). I mean I understand not being ready immediately after a break up, but that's why you move slowly in your next relationship. You're 1.5 months in, so I think an "all or nothing" attitude is ridiculo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/10/15 07:14 PM |
| 1 | How to deal with intense and irrational jealousy?If I expressed jealousy over the situation, it would make her feel like she is a threat and has power over me. I fullheartedly agree. I would NEVER treat the girl I'm jealous of any differently than I'd treat any other girl. I wouldn't want her to have the satisfaction of knowing she's messing with my relationship, and I feel like any kind of reaction would only encourage her. "Oh wow I must be really special for him to continue to give me attention even though clearly his gf has a problem with … | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/10/15 06:55 PM |
| 1 | Egghead got me thinking... about female woes vs. male woes.Hmm yes I agree. It was the fact that other girls wanted him. It's definitely something that builds upon itself...because more girls want him, he gets with more girls, so even MORE girls want him. Once a guy hits this, I feel he's unstoppable. Do you think this works with females...like if a girl had a lot of suitor, would more be drawn to her? I'm not sure it does. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/10/15 05:40 PM |
| 1 | Egghead got me thinking... about female woes vs. male woes.Thanks :) I'll keep that in mind next time I'm ready to date but I am in fact also not super religious (but I'm not ready to commit to the label "atheist" yet) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/10/15 04:06 PM |
| 1 | Egghead got me thinking... about female woes vs. male woes.I'm saying if women do this in a certain way.... They can relatively easily find a man who won't pump and dump them. They just choose not to move their attractors around like this, and go with what comes naturally. Until the wall looms anyway. Guys are much more willing to do these kind of "Less pretty, more not crazy" trades. I appreciate your response. I think I see what you're saying. I do want to say though that I do think it's easier for guys to lower the "pretty" requirement to ensure "non… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/10/15 04:02 PM |
| 1 | Egghead got me thinking... about female woes vs. male woes.They can't make a decision to just lower my sights, and I'll get laid if they were able to you'd laugh and say thats not involuntary celibacy then. Ok I think I see what you're saying with this. You're saying a woman could ultimately get the commitment she wants if she goes low enough, even though it might not be a guy she's attracted to, whereas a guy will not necessarily get the sex he wants even if he's offering commitment left and right to the lowest of the low. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/10/15 03:43 PM |
| 1 | Egghead got me thinking... about female woes vs. male woes.So it's not equivalent, one sex has a measure of control here the other doesn't Are you saying the women here have control in that they can choose to lower their sights? Because I feel they CAN'T control their sexual desire for someone. I really wish I could make myself sexually attracted to the wonderful nice guy who would go to great lengths to make me happy, but I can't, so it's not fair of me to date him and then cuckhold him. Sure that prevents me from feeling used, but it's at the cost of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/10/15 03:36 PM |
| 1 | To turn a PPD question around: Women, if your fiance told you that you **cannot** have his name when you marry; how would you feel about that?Modern feminism is my best answer...but I don't agree with that line of thinking even if it might be there. If the reason why a woman isn't taking her husband's name is because she's ashamed of his name/doesn't think it's good enough/wants to hide her commitment to him...then that IS certainly a red flag. If she doesn't take it for other reasons (job/brand) then that's a little more reasonable and could be worked out. EDIT: Man or woman...if someone is trying to hide his/her partner or the fact … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/10/15 03:05 PM |
| 2 | A question about women and their need to be desiredI agree with your reasons on cheating. In fact I think I just replied to your comment in another thread mostly agreeing with this. What I'm saying here is that wives will have less confidence in their desirability from their husband and will therefore always feel replaceable. I'm not saying that's bad, I'm just saying that's an uncomfortable feeling- "unsettling"- and for the most part that's actually good, because that slight dread is what motivates women to be the best version of themselves. T… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/10/15 08:54 PM |
| 2 | How would society change if regarded the AF/BB dynamic as grounded in truth?Women cheat because they become completely miserable in their marriages and they check out I wouldn't say "completely miserable" but I do agree most women who physically cheat are looking to branch swing to something upward (and also emotionally cheating) while most men who physically cheat are not and can even be tempted by someone of lower smv than their wife just because it's new and different. Women could be "ok" in their marriage, but if they think they can do better and get away with it, t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/10/15 08:41 PM |
| 1 | To turn a PPD question around: Women, if your fiance told you that you **cannot** have his name when you marry; how would you feel about that?At FIRST mention of it, I'd feel a bit undesired- like he was hiding me. If he really wanted to marry me, I want him to be proud that I'm his wife and part of his brand. I'd want him to want me to introduce myself as Mrs._________ to show others that we're a team and that I'm off the market. Of course, having a wedding ring or being introduced with the label "wife" also serves this purpose, and I think if he ultimately had reservations about me taking his name, I'd listen to him and respect that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/10/15 05:53 PM |
| 0 | A question about women and their need to be desiredI agree there is almost no chance that a man would marry a woman that they are unattracted to. What's unsettling is that it is hard for a man to find a woman they're unattracted to. I think what she's looking for is whether a man would marry a girl who is "attractive enough" but lie and tell her he's VERY attracted to her and doesn't want anyone more attractive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/10/15 05:44 PM |
| 2 | A question about women and their need to be desiredI realize I'm not as hot as some celebrities, but it's very important to me that I be the most desirable woman he believes he can get. I want to be the physically hottest woman he's dated, but more importantly, I want to be the one who he connects the most with on an emotional level. If he believes he can do better, I'd leave- especially if that had a concrete manifestation (he'd rather be with a specific other real life girl we both know). If he'd prefer me to be hotter (and described me as jus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/10/15 05:33 PM |
| 2 | The Problem With Diagnosing Your Husband With a Mental Illness | Laura Doylethe quirks that attracted you seem pathological later. This is such a helpful thing to remember when trying to maintain perspective when emotions are running high. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/10/15 03:37 PM |
| 1 | The Problem With Diagnosing Your Husband With a Mental Illness | Laura DoyleI'd like to take the perspective that it's a spectrum. Of course certain behaviors or actions are "real," and doctors find it useful to group certain patterns of these behaviors into disorders. I think what Mrs. Doyle is trying to get at is that you can't generalize these actions into a diagnosis, and then use the diagnosis as the source of the problem to relieve accountability. Treatment can help, but it would be counterproductive to simply say "go take an adderall" instead of really getting do… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/10/15 03:35 PM |
| 1 | What are your go-to quick recipes?Just to add to the grilled cheese theme- I really like "german" grilled cheeses with meunster cheese and butter melted in between two soft pretzels. Sometimes I add braunschweiger and mayonnaise! | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/10/15 03:09 PM |
| 1 | Ladies, how to lose the feeling of entitlement?I asked my SO to tell me when I'm "lawyering" (aka hamstering) and it forces me to stop, come out of the rabbit hole, and re-shift my focus to the relevant issue at hand | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/10/15 02:30 PM |
| 1 | Ladies, how to lose the feeling of entitlement?and he recognizes that I did that. Careful here to not blow up when you've tried very hard to keep your mouth shut and he doesn't recognize it. I've slipped into that before and it just undoes the hard work you did in trying to remain calm. One time a boyfriend of mine changed plans on me very last minute and ruined the vision I had for my holiday weekend. I was calm and understanding about it when he first cancelled, but then when I felt like he was taking advantage of how nice I was being, I s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/10/15 02:26 PM |
| 1 | Need help coping with resentment in my long-distance LTR, and channeling emotions positively.Do you know when you'll be together? Is he coming to you or are you going to him? Have you guys ever spent an extended period of time with each other? I know you're looking for advice on how to cope now (which I'll get to in a second), but I do want to say that if he really is the love of your life and you're sure you want to be with him forever, then it might be worth considering moving to him. However, I realize that might be a huge risk if you have never spent more than a weekend with each ot… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/09/15 07:10 PM |
| 1 | What are your go-to quick recipes?Thanks for sharing!!! I have the perfect bottle of bourbon in mind to try this out with this week :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/09/15 06:41 PM |
| 1 | What are your go-to quick recipes?Tacos are my go to. You could also try seasoning chicken/other meats with: White-wine coq-au-vin sauce made from a dryer chardo, butter, lemon juice, capers, and maybe eggs and flower to thicken it Parmesan, butter, garlic, lemon, salt, and lemon pepper (if you're low-carb, cook some cut up cauliflower, throw on some beaten eggs, and then add these seasonings- it will be like eggy noodle pasta but with cauliflower) Taco seasoning, lime juice, cilantro, hot sauce and plain greek yogurt Buffalo sa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/09/15 03:03 PM |
| 2 | How to deal with intense and irrational jealousy?If he cheated on his last gf with you, I don't think your fears are irrational, but I would keep reminding you that he CHOSE you over her, so you have proven yourself once. You're going to have to keep proving yourself. Right now, I'd say you're experiencing light dread- he's just going back to school. Recognize that this light dread is what keeps you wanting him- and that's great! You're with a high quality alpha. Embrace the feelings telling you that you don't want to lose him. He hasn't flirt… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/09/15 02:37 PM |
| 1 | Do you think that intentionally giving false hopes to someone about a relationship is a horrible thing to do?Intentionally giving false hopes is horrible- telling a girl you are sexually exclusive with her when in fact you're not is emotionally damaging at best and life threatening at worst (STDs), though she still needs to realize that she is taking a risk in trusting you. Telling a guy that you will stay with him forever when in fact you plan on using him and then dumping him is emotionally damaging at best and life threatening at worst (taking all of his resources). I think the problem is that most … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/09/15 05:58 PM |
| 1 | Vetting potential LTRsWe also sometimes test men on their loyalty when we are feeling insecure (comfort testing), but I think the compliance test addresses that feeling as well - since there is no AF/BB counterpart to women, there are no conflicting tests...although... Can a woman go too far with compliance testing? Meaning, will a guy test to see if she has a spine/isn't a doormat? I feel like "compliance testing" isn't really a test, more just common sense - submit within your comfort zone, but hold firm on any bou… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/09/15 02:58 PM |
| 1 | Vetting potential LTRsThank you for explaining it that way. I was trying to think about whether there would be a male analog to comfort testing, but I don't think it applies since a man's mating strategy isn't dualistic, and because compliance is closely connected to loyalty. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/09/15 02:53 PM |
| 2 | What are your hobbies? What are some hobbies you'd like to do?I love drawing!! I'm not good at drawing faces though so what I end up doing sometimes is taking FB pictures, editing them so that the contrast is crazy, and then tracing the outlines to sort of make cartoons of my friends faces and then improvising from there. I was hoping to make one of my friends a customized "coloring book" for her. I also love learning to cook exotic dishes (I recently tried ethiopian), reading the newest cosmos/physics/space related books (I studied physics), kayaking, lif… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/09/15 02:04 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Idk. I feel like past behavior could be a good predictor of future behavior. I'll do those things while I draft my breakup letter. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 06:52 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thank you. I really do appreciate a guy's advice on here. The choice is in fact between being alpha widowed or staying with him and hoping he comes around, being potentially a plate. How do I stop my hamster?? It makes sense to me. Can you pick out the rationalizations for me? I really do have problems picking apart reality from hamstering because I work in legal and hamstering for clients is my job. He has shown his commitment by dropping flirty girls, refusing a job in another state, dropping … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 06:36 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?I should end it. I think I'm going to do a letter with full analysis of the situation so that he can't simplify it when explaining it to his friends. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 06:19 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Women will make all sorts of excuses for high SMV men. True. Well I keep teeter tottering between the two. In the past he has eventually seen my side and dropped people to make me more comfortable, so part of me is hoping he'll come around this time, as well. Usually I get through to him by somehow getting him to see my side/get in my shoes, but that's really tough because he's always resistant to it, saying "that's irrelevant and doesn't relate to that situation." Usually when I am able to get … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 06:09 PM |
| 2 | Oneitis?I just wanted to pop in and say that I was in a similar situation, and he probably will contact you again unless you block him. There was this one guy in college who obviously liked me and I didn't know any better and friendzoned him instead of giving him the signs to just leave me alone. Absolutely an emotional lean-on. He would get mad when I went on dates with other guys and finally when he confessed his love to me and I told him I didn't feel the same, he got crazy angry, blocked me on every… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 05:20 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Yeah I mean...he is actually pretty moral- but it's a sense of pride/honor and not necessarily because he truly believes in it. He's "the moral one" among his friends and he likes that role. Locking him down was definitely a challenge but honestly it was the advice on this sub that helped me prove I was worthy to commit to. He has never cheated, and disapproves of that among girls and his friends. But because he sees himself as so "self righteous" and different from his friends, I could see him … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 04:53 PM |
| 2 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?haha I was actually going to seriously tell him: "and please no contact from here on out. I'm not depressed, I'll be OK, and if I'm going to make myself available for someone as good as you, they would find any relationship I have with you to be disrespectful." | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 04:11 PM |
| 2 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thank you, yes- absolutely a tennis match. We had some back and forth earlier today about how I feel like I can't come to him and so right now we're OK but I do think I need to devise a breakup. I know if I breakup with him, he will plead with me and he might tell me he'll cut contact, but I don't know if I could trust him if I stayed. You're absolutely right. You can't change how someone feels. My BIGGEST fear is that he still has feelings for her but is in complete denial. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 04:10 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?But that said, are you dating out of your league, are there things you could work on? I should probably bring up a point here, but hopefully it doesn't change the advice on this sub. I really don't mean to brag, but both of our SMVs are pretty high, and it's honestly a wash as to who is higher, though I'd say his. This particular ex-gf is probably the same as me in terms of looks (I might be hotter? idk) but her family is pretty wealthy. They are the creators of a pretty prominent show you've pr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 04:03 PM |
| 3 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Okay, I'm going to spell it out to you since you don't seem to get all of the gentle hints the ladies of RPW are sending your way. I just want to say that I do appreciate everyone's insight. I'm bad with "hints". I just am. I prefer direct communication. I know I can be difficult. I work in legal and it is literally my job to hamster away at things and rationalize everything. I set my mind on a client and try to empathize until I truly believe their side. Then I poke holes in arguments and make … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 03:56 PM |
| 3 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?There are a few RPW plates around here who are also fine with sharing. Lol. Thank you for putting it like that. Yeah I don't want to emotionally share him. I mean he argues that it's just small talk and he thought it was polite, but I just can't. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 03:35 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?agreed to let you see his texts. You're throwing him a comfort test and he's failing miserably. Well, he did show me the texts. However, he DEFINITELY is failing the comfort test. I didn't even see this as such but now that you point it out and that he's failing, that bothers me. Honestly unless I explicitly tell him "this is making me uncomfortable and I need reassurance" (and I have said that before), he treats any sort of issue I bring up as a shit test when really most of my issues come from… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 03:34 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thank you for your analysis, I really appreciate it. I think you hit the nail on the head- he is keeping a connection going under the guise of "care taking" and justifies that as such. It's not ok for me to talk to exes because none of them are depressed, but he can do things and always use that as an excuse. He tells me his end goal is to get her on a support system that doesn't include her, but he still talks to her family, so it seems a bit inconsistent to me. He insists there are no strong e… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 03:32 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Also getting mad at you for bringing up a legitimate point is called gaslighting. Yes I feel like this is a problem. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 03:24 PM |
| 2 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Right. He said he doesn't expect me to be ok with it but does ask that I respect it. He says I'm his priority, but is hoping I won't put extra stress on the situation. I guess part of the problem is that I feel like I need to tread lightly around this- is it really my place to demand he put me first over something he feels is morally right and something he's been doing since before he met me, especially so early in the relationship? Ultimately though my happiness should always come first. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 03:22 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?I think these are good questions to ask because it gets down to really my fears and what I think. I'm not necessarily afraid that he's going to cheat on me with her. He is too self-righteous honestly to do anything immoral. I'm not even scared she's going to reach out and say "I want to cheat on my boyfriend with you because I still love you." I'm afraid he might ultimately want to leave me for her. I'm afraid she is going to drunkenly call him and say "I still love you" and even though he would… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 03:14 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?10 to 1 he goes underground with his texts to his ex. I think this is actually the most likely reason that will convince me to go through with breaking up over this. He's shown himself to be very open about everything that goes on in our relationship, but I still wouldn't be able to trust that he's going to keep things "purely platonic" or that he won't simply hide his texts with her. I feel like he'd justify it in his head by thinking "well it IS platonic but it's obvious she won't understand t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 03:03 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?like all women should be afraid of. Having someone openly on the back burner is non-commitment Exactly. Being in a relationship during prime years only to get dumped would honestly be tragic. I don't think I'm being overly dramatic in saying that. The thing is, I have expressed this to him in some form. He was telling me that he didn't see himself getting married until his 30s and I asked him if when he does, did he envision himself with a younger wife or with someone the same age. He did say he… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 02:57 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?the issue is that he is blatantly making another woman equally if not more important than her Yes. I enabled this to happen because I was "chill" about it in the beginning and didn't really know how to express my boundaries. Perhaps I should have said "it's ok to help if you feel the situation is an emergency, but I would feel very uncomfortable if this escalated to a regular support system or something where she had any room to think you had any intentions other than where you're strictly helpi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 02:44 PM |
| 10 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?You're right. It just took some time and checking for me to get there. I'm in my mid-20s and I don't think the guy I'm with appreciates the fact that these are my prime years. I'm not giving them to someone who doesn't realize that. EDIT: double negative | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 02:25 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?You'll always have to cave and act like it doesn't bother you. This so much. I sometimes feel like I'm not allowed to have feelings- and this makes me feel...unfeminine and gender neutral. Honestly I could write a book on how modernity and feminism suppresses femininity by encouraging a gender neutral world. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 02:24 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Yes. He got defensive and said contact with her would continue because he thinks it's "the right thing to do." When you put it that way, I think you're right. Time to start planning an exit. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 02:21 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?She's not his responsibility but he's finding every excuse to hold on in spite of you feeling unhappy about the level of contact he has with her. So this is my fault, but he doesn't see it this way. I've been pretty chill about it for the majority of our relationship because the majority of their conversations are light catching up on their families (marriage, babies), so he wasn't hurting my feelings until I saw the "I miss you" exchange, which then made me connect the dots to the bothersome in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 02:20 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?I agree. He did say he's trying to wean her on a support group. I asked him to reassure me that the ONLY reason why he talks to her is because of her situation, and he said yes. The thing is, I think she'd be butthurt to know that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 02:10 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thank you. We ended up talking about it when we had both cooled off. He apologized for getting defensive and said that he was in a bad mood, and that he understood where I was coming from. He said he ONLY talks to her because of the depression, and that he would absolutely not want me to talk to my exes at all. We then had a calm discussion on ex dynamics- comparing yourself to who they're dating, family ties, etc. I told him my concerns that I wasn't worried that he or she would ever do anythin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 02:08 PM |
| 2 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?the crossing of boundaries. When she tried to discuss the issue, he made her feel bad, like she was nagging and bringing up something petty. He reframed the situation to shift the attention away from him, to distract her from the fact that he was in the wrong to be engaging with this ex girlfriend in this manner Thank you. I completely agree. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 01:43 PM |
| 3 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?If this cycle happens enough times you'll become too scared to bring your issues up in the first place, out of fear of it being spun onto you. I think I'm already at that point honestly. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 01:39 PM |
| 4 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Your boyfriend has strong feelings for another woman. I think this is the part that I'm having trouble accepting. I was trying to figure out if an "I miss you too" reply means he still has strong feelings. If enough people here thinks it does, then it's over. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 01:21 PM |
| 1 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Yeah thank you. I mean we always hang out but it was the specific activity that got postponed. But yeah, to me right now the issue is that if I express a problem he turns the blame back to me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/15 01:16 PM |
| 2 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thank you. I actually did write out something in the other thread on what I feel based on his texts "When you sent her the same video I feel...when you texted her "I miss you" it made me feel..." but I got some advice that I should have kept it logical. Perhaps I do need to tell him how I feel. I did say "You're leaving room open for interpretation" but I should have said "It makes me feel like you're leaving her on the backburner." You're right. I'll bring this up. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/15 09:20 PM |
| 3 | UPDATE: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Of course he is not going to stop when you ask him to, he would lose respect for himself if he did. That is exactly what happened here, in fact he doubled down on it because he felt like he was being nagged. ("It will probably happen again in the future"). I actually did not ever explicitly or even imply that he should stop talking to her, but looking for what he meant in his "I miss you" text. I told him I disagreed that her "I've been dreaming about you text" was purely platonic, and he sent m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/15 08:19 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Do you think negotiating desire, negotiating commitment will work when his loyalty is to this ex? I agree that you can't negotiate desire, but honestly I think he deserves a chance to learn my boundaries. Not everyone is as conservative or sensitive as me- in fact if I asked my girl friends this same advice, they'd probably tell me to chill out, but might sympathize. I'll update you all after I talk. First I need to figure out exactly what's upsetting me, exactly what I'd want to hear from him i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 10:29 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?spending time with her He's not doing that at all (though he has run in to her brother once this past year), nor do I really believe he's being an orbiter when she initiates contact most of the time. I don't think this is textbook beta orbiting because he dumped her and feels guilty, although I do think she might be manipulating the situation to get his attention, and I don't necessarily think he's doing this purely out of altruistic and charitable motives and intentions. (I find the bothersome … | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 08:47 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?You could argue that he's just not that "into" his ex, as well, but yeah, I felt this way when I read those texts. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 04:35 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thanks. I think you're right and that if he disagrees and tries to rationalize instead of hearing me out, then I'll need to dump him. My perfect answer is that he'll say something like "I understand where you're coming from and I didn't put myself in your shoes, but I agree that it was inappropriate" and stop. I'm sure what will actually happen is somewhere in the middle and I'll need to decide. I consider myself a logical person, but I know I'm going to need to write this out a few times before… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 04:33 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Ah sorry I accidentally deleted my response when I meant to edit it. My question was "Am I making a mountain out of a molehill..." (READ: Am I overreacting?/Is this normal?) instead of "Should I dump him over..." and hoping that if people did in fact agree I wasn't overreacting, they'd provide advice as to the best way to bring it up without seeming insensitive and jealous. Some people here have advised that it's normal to miss her or that they could see their own exes acting this way even if th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 04:27 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?If he does rationalize it, I will next him. But before I do, I want to make sure he understands that he's being naiive at best and an inconsiderate player at worst. If he defends his actions, I agree that's grounds to next him. If he admits it was inappropriate and didn't see it from my side but now does, and he actually stops, I don't think it's worth throwing the relationship out over, but I'll definitely still be on the alert. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 04:18 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thank you. I definitely need to think for myself exactly what it is that's bothering me, because it's not that I feel like he's going to cheat on me with her, nor that he's necessarily intending to hur me on purpose at the expense of her. I think ultimately, it comes down to: -vWhen he sent both of us the same love song, it made me feel like I wasn't special and that he was treating me and her the same way. I felt like I was just a typical girl in his harem of female admirers and ex-girlfriends.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 04:03 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Six months official, but almost a year of talking/dating. He has invested a lot, and I'd feel a bit silly dumping him without warning over a sentence he said to his ex when he didn't drop her the L bomb. However, that did in fact bother me a lot. Since it was a reply, I'm not sure if he felt he needed to say that, because the rest of the conversation he was pretty checked out while she rambled on about small talk, but I'm not sure. I just wish I truly knew what his intentions were in saying that… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 03:21 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?This to me was also the thing that bothered me most. One poster said it's natural to miss someone like that, but I would never say that to an ex, especially if he phrased it with the dreaming about you bit. I could MAYBE see an ex saying "I miss the fun times we used to have goofing off in math class" and deciding it was ok to reply "I miss that too" but I don't talk to my exes so IDK. I do think I need to express my concerns before just nexting him without warning. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 03:19 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?This guy is NOT worth committing to. He's obviously not over his ex and treating you like shit. Why would you stay to watch this, it's pathetic. I don't think he's necessarily treating me like shit, but I agree I don't want the front row seat if this turns into them getting back together when she's not crazy anymore. Have some boundaries and self respect. He's sneaking behind your back with his ex for the first six months of your relationship, so don't think for a minute that a "talk" about boun… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 03:17 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Hmm. I mean I definitely agree, but I'm not sure it's worth nexting just yes. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 03:14 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Does she have a mother and father concerned that she may be suicidal? Friends or siblings that are concerned for her well being? Unfortunately her family and friends didn't take her cries for help seriously, so he was the major force in getting her help. Is your BF medically qualified to be her mental health practitioner? No, but he put her in touch with someone who is qualified. He had a sexual relationship with this woman and now he is continuing to have an undefined relationship with her. Agr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 03:13 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?She isn't necessarily depressed due to the breakup, but that made it worse. Her family seems to think it's no big deal and my bf is the only one who was able to convince her to get medication for it and see a therapist. I agree she is disrespecting her own relationship by continuing to allow my bf to support her. Honestly I feel no attachment to my exes, but that's why I would never tell them "I miss you" or "I miss you too" | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 03:02 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?I think she was initially depressed about life in general (changing majors in college, quarter-life "wtf am I doing with my life" crisis) and then him wanting to break up worsened it. Also, he was the only one who took her depression seriously and made her go see a psychiatrist- her family didn't care at all and belittled her condition, saying it was no big deal. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/15 03:00 PM |
| 3 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?I agree. Not necessarily a plate, but not promising for the long term. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 08:06 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so glad that your ex finally realized what happened. Like /u/TempestTcup talked about, it clearly took a shock from his ex for him to realize what was happening. At the same time, I wouldn't want to feel always feel second, so even though you said you had other problems, I don't think it's too unreasonable to leave just for that reason. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 08:05 PM |
| 3 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?but his stated goal right now is to help her be less crazy, right? Part of him is hoping they can get back together someday. Thank you for saying that, as that hadn't even crossed my mind. That definitely is worth thinking about. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 08:01 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?it's not bizarre that he misses her a little. This is the type of information I think I'm looking for with this post. I've only had two other serious relationships- one for 6 months in high school and the other for about a year and a half after college. I don't miss my exes at all, but I wasn't with them for a significant amount of time, either. If anyone else agrees that it's not bizarre or if anyone disagrees please chime in. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 06:39 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?mixed feelings of "this is dangerous" and "but i don't think anything would happen" but it was hard to pinpoint why Yes this is exactly how I feel, thank you! I'll make sure he really understands that he shouldn't meet up with her, but I agree he does seem oblivious/naiive on the whole situation. I think thought that if they ever exchanged another set of "I miss yous" or something I might remind him that I think he's getting close to crossing the emotional cheating line for me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 05:55 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thank you for your comment. I'm going to wait it out but I'll admit- it's hard to keep my calm and stay positive when I see her name pop up on snapchat. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 05:53 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thank you so much for the concrete course of action. I'll keep my reserved and closed attitude. I agree that the differences in infidelity between men and women become apparent in my situation. His contact with his ex is more upsetting to me, but poses a problem because as a man, he does not see it as infidelity. I've been slowly trying to inject this thought process into him. I once made a joke (although true comment) about how I'd rather him have a quickie with a hooker in vegas than take a hy… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 05:51 PM |
| 3 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?No worries. I think the rest of what you wrote was good. The alpha widow thing is sort of the rpw analog to TRP's beta bucks chump with oneitis. To figure out whether the female is being widowed or the chump is getting cucked, you should consider the SMV of each partner, whether or not they are getting what they want (commitment/sex), and who initiated the breakup. An alpha widow will typically be widowed by an alpha who is slightly out of her league and who could not give her the commitment she… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 05:43 PM |
| 2 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Thank you for your comments. They've been helpful. I think he knows they're not "just friends" because he strongly believes guys and girls cannot be "just friends." He did, however, say that he thinks she sees him like family and that's why she is reaching out. I mean 4-5 years is a lot of time with someone, and I don't really know what that's like other than with my actual family. I say "I miss you" to family members, but wouldn't say it to any other guy unless I was dating him. I agree that it… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 05:03 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?Your bf sounds like a beta male who's hung up on his ex. This is incorrect. He dumped her (though I think the process was complicated due to her being depressed), and then he alpha-widowed her. But yeah, I do sometimes think that he has this bond or whatever with her that's not completely over. I've never been in a 4-5 year relationship, so I'm not sure what's normal and what's not normal. I do in fact feel uncomfortable with these exchanges though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 04:51 PM |
| 2 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?I agree with you 100%. It definitely stems from guilt, and when she texts him, it's clear most of the time that he is just doing his duty talking back to her while I think she is still hung up on him a little bit, even though she has a boyfriend. I guess what bothers me is that he doesn't really correct her assumptions/is perhaps naiive in thinking she just wants to catch up. My gut tells me she's been alpha-widowed, and one of these days, she's going to make a move and use her vulnerable positi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 04:46 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?I think he's not necessarily hiding (he has had a public post that did include me that she could see) but being overly aware/sensitive. Would you send an individual message to your ex highlighting the fact that you're now dating someone else? It kind of just seems impolite and would rub it in her face. I will say though that I feel like he's being extra careful to spare her feelings. Like it shouldn't matter if my arm or whatever got caught in the snap, but I know he's also really weird about so… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 04:24 PM |
| 1 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?I'm not sure she knows. She might know he's seeing someone but definitely not the specifics. At the same time, I don't know when that would have come up in conversation. They don't talk about who they're dating- it's mostly about what movies they've seen, job stuff, apartment hunting, and things like that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 04:08 PM |
| 3 | Am I making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting to my bf helping out his mentally unstable ex?I wonder how her boyfriend feels she has been texting some other guy telling him she's been dreaming of him. Thank you! I even brought that up and my boyfriend said "he's probably ok that she's talking to me" but if I were her boyfriend and saw that specific line I'd be really hurt. He told me that if she ever said anything like "I still love you" or "I wish we were still together" he would gently shut it down and tell me immediately, but am I really trying to let it get to that point before say… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 04:01 PM |
| 2 | Early dating days... should I keep chasing?This is tough because you've already set a precedent of initiating the contact. I almost feel that if you pull back, he might think "oh she must have lost interest, no big I'll just live my life." Honestly, I'd look at his past relationships. Did the last girls have to chase him, too? If so, then maybe he's just one of those guys that kind of feels "whatever" about girls, or one of those guys that is a bit adhd and if you're not right in front of his face or you don't otherwise have his attentio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/15 02:51 PM |
| 2 | I fudged up by getting upset at SO forgetting our anniversaryThank you for posting this here, because I could totally see myself slip in to the same mistake. I think you're right that a text along the lines of "no problem! happy anniversary..." would have been perfect and nipped it in the bud right there. Clearly there is no malicious intent behind forgetting an anniversary, but I could see how if you had all day to brew and stew you'd convince yourself that he's being selfish/self-centered, doesn't take your relationship seriously, doesn't care about you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/15 02:12 PM |
| 1 | Are there any books, kitchen tools, articles of clothing, etc. that you've recently purchased that you would highly recommend to other RPW?I thought I'd provide a comparison chart of the Kitchen Aid models here: http://www.williams-sonoma.com/wsimgs/rk/images/i/201445/0002/images/pdf/pages/kitchenaid-mixer-comparison-chart.pdf Has anyone done any research on these? For example, what can the $1,000 one do that the $600 and $400 ones can't? I understand that they might have different motor speeds and bowl sizes, as per the chart I found, but how does this apply to cooking capabilities? Have any of you found that one model can mix up/… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/15 03:07 PM |
| 1 | Healthy, pretty baked gift ideas?For your follow-up, I'd go with something in the middle: "By the way, I baked you these muffins. They're not as sugary as you would think" (or something that subtly lets him know they are okish to eat) because this is forward enough to say you made him something and were thoughtful enough to keep his diet in mind, but you're not saying you went to any extra trouble like searching for the perfect pinterest recipe or slaving away in the kitchen specifically for him. If he asks for further detail, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/09/15 01:24 PM |
| 2 | What are some nice things I can do for my boyfriend?I think you should compromise a little bit. Shower at night, and when you wake up you should still be clean, and so initiate sex. Honestly I'm more horny in the morning and if I wake up before my SO I can sort of start thinking about it and getting myself going before I wake him up to do it. Or, you could potentially shower in the afternoon/early evening. Or, you could maybe try showering in the evening and doing it more than twice a week. What is your hair routine? | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/09/15 08:57 PM |
| 1 | What are some nice things I can do for my boyfriend?I feel like it's not that hard to be showered, shaved, brushed teeth, and "hair done" (what does this mean?) more than the two times a week you guys plan to have sex. I know you might have been looking for cute non-sexual ideas, but guys are pretty simple. They like sex, and the nicest thing you can do for your boyfriend is have good sex with him, even though you might think that sounds cheap. You should always bring value to the table other than sex, but sex is paramount. Food is probably secon… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/09/15 08:11 PM |
| 1 | Getting a guy to see you as more than just a hook up?Start texting during the day if you haven't and joke with him or talk about current events...anything to make him see that talking to you is really fun. Next time he invites you over late night, decline but then offer to meet up the next day: "It's late and I'm really sleepy but if you'd like to do/come to/watch/meet up for _____ tomorrow I'd be down" and see how he responds | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/09/15 03:28 PM |
| 2 | Is this the RPW anger phase?I think over time you will find that it's better to stick up for what you believe and focus your energy on quality friends, and you will feel more secure and less angry/alone. I actually went through/am sort of still getting over a similar phase, but it was more about feeling bad about myself as a woman as opposed to feeling angry. I think I always agreed with most red pill ideas, but reading the harsher subs (TRP, Return of Kings, "AWALT") still left me angry and sad (I HATED the Return of King… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/15 02:25 PM |
| 2 | Ladies, what is your personality type?INTP-A! | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/15 02:24 PM |
| 1 | Single RPW, how do you deal with sex/engaging in physical intimacy?I completely agree. Kissing to me is much more romantic than some sex. I also think hand holding is very personal as well... But keep in mind that most guys don't think like this. I agree that you should wait for a connection and then let something come out of that and just do what feels right...with some restraint. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/08/15 01:56 PM |
| 2 | Women you admire...This is a fictional character but I love Rita from Dexter!! She's very feminine, gentle, moral, loving, and extremely loyal and understanding. I do think she got a bit naggy and needy once their son was born, however. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/08/15 10:28 PM |
| 1 | Boyfriend did something that completely broke my trust; how to rebuild and move on from this?You really need to decide for yourself if you can let this go and be able to trust him in the future. How did the study abroad discussion go? Did he ever bring it up? Did he invite you to come with him?? If he didn't, I'm not sure he sees you as someone to settle down with. Also, did he break up with his ex or did she break up with him? If you do decide you will be able to put this behind you and trust him again, I think when the dust settles you need to have a serious conversation about where h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/08/15 10:25 PM |
| 1 | Terrified of being lied to about exclusivity just for sex ... How to prevent it?being ready to jump ship whenever. This is more what I meant. I realize that in every relationship, no matter how committed, there still might be that small chance that someone will leave, but I was more talking about exclusivey fwb type relationships. There was a thread featured in a post today in /r/theredpill making fun of a girl who was mad that her fwb, who she had been having exclusive (though not explicitly so) sex with and going on vacations with, told her he didn't want to "make it offi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/08/15 05:54 PM |
| 1 | Terrified of being lied to about exclusivity just for sex ... How to prevent it?What I meant was that a guy could offer sexual exclusivity but there still may sort of be this gray area of commitment. Women also need to be careful that they don't enter into a "you're my gf for now"/FWB type of relationship where the guy may not cheat, but plans on dumping the girl once he finds someone better/his lifestyle opens up time for him to find someone he considers wife material. I think in this situation, the girl is still sort of a plate since he has sort of placed an expiration da… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/08/15 05:47 PM |
| 11 | Terrified of being lied to about exclusivity just for sex ... How to prevent it?plating a woman while telling her you're exclusive is called cheating Just to clarify, plating/having sex with other women while telling a girl you're exclusive is cheating. This has been said before but you can spin just one plate. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/08/15 03:53 PM |
| 13 | Terrified of being lied to about exclusivity just for sex ... How to prevent it?I think if you keep improving your SMV then most marriage-oriented guys would kill to wait for a virgin and wouldn't screw up a good thing by cheating on her. That said, I think you should be prepared for a high value man to seek out sex from other women/plates while he's in the "waiting"/dating stage early on with you. I know it sucks, but just take it slow. If he's getting his sexual needs met elsewhere, that doesn't necessarily mean he needs to stop talking to you/taking you out. Once he real… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/08/15 03:50 PM |
| 3 | How much makeup do you wear? How much makeup does your SO prefer you to wear?When he says "I like you without makeup" he's actually referring to my minimum/natural make-up look which is: concealer under my eyes and on any blemishes, some light cream blush (though my cheeks are naturally pretty rosy), eyeliner, and MAYBE some light powder or mascara. This is how I look whenever we're just chilling at his place or if I'm at work, but whenever we go out and I have more powder/foundation and a smoky eye or light lipstick, he's like "oh wow you look nice." When I am "done up"… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/15 05:52 PM |
| 1 | Help staying positive, grateful, and poised in disappointing situationsThank you for the response. I don't really like saying the word "flake" because it's more that he can't stick to a plan. If he does need to cancel a date (he has never not had a good reason), we still end up hanging out, we just don't execute the romantic over-the-top plan he had hyped up. I have actually asked him to stop hyping up plans before they happen, but even if he says "date" I get really excited. The other example I gave where he forgot about dinner, we did end up hanging out (he ended… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/15 08:13 PM |
| 1 | Help staying positive, grateful, and poised in disappointing situationsThank you for the response, but I don't think I did a good job in my post focusing on me and not on him. He is very sensitive about his ADHD and anxiety, and would never use it as an excuse for certain behavior, but I am almost positive that's the source behind his inconsistencies/mind changing. He is actually responsible job and money-wise, but not in his social life (I'm not the only person he is inconsistent with). He is honestly pretty caring and has the best intentions, and has incredibly s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/15 08:07 PM |
| 1 | I'm so frustrated with myself and the pill.I definitely understand stressing over mistakes, as I feel the more you start to sincerely align with redpill beliefs you notice them more and even the tiniest screw up will have you anxious. I think the comments about helping yourself here are full of good advice. I also just wanted to add that if you do make a mistake, apologize but don't dwell on it/bring it up again, as not only will that draw attention to the fact that you slipped, but also annoy him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/15 05:39 PM |
| 3 | How much do you invest in a new relationship?You should also consider what he has given up for you. If he is committed to you and not hooking up with other girls, then that's already a huge sacrifice/compromise for him and you should want to make similar sacrifices to reassure his commitment. As a general rule, try to take into account where you fall in his priorities (look at ALL of his actions), and try to place him a bit higher (but not too much) in your priorities. If he's choosing you over his friends a lot, I would do the same, plus … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/08/15 07:32 PM |
| 1 | What is the RPW way of dealing with poor communication?I still struggle against my inner bitch all the time and though I am learning to control her, I count my blessings every day that I have been so fortunate to find my husband who grit his teeth through the time before I realized that I was the major problem. I'm so with you, and every setback I have I start worrying that he's going to get fed up and leave but luckily, he hasn't decided to leave. Positivity and tranquility will extinguish the inner bitch. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/08/15 09:49 PM |
| 4 | What is the RPW way of dealing with poor communication?This is hard and it might be a trait that your friend may have to learn to accept. She can try to live and learn- in the salad situation, she should keep in mind that her husband likes variety in cooking even though he might express that he really likes one particular dish. He might be waiting for a pattern to occur instead of addressing isolated incidents, and I think in general, this is a good way to go about doing things. If he really is avoiding conflict, I think a simple "I didn't know you … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/08/15 09:48 PM |
| 1 | I need advice, RPWbe his goddess of tranquility and support. Yes! | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/15 03:11 PM |
| 4 | I need advice, RPWI'm not sure my comment went through. I think it's unfair to judge him on one instance while he's grieving. It kind of sounds like you don't respect him. I would seriously reevaluate how you feel. If you don't respect him, then you need to let him go so he can find someone who is a better fit. If you decide that you overreacted and that you do in fact respect him, then I would apologize in the morning and be sincere about it. Tell him that you overreacted, but that at the time, the situation mad… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/15 03:10 PM |
| 1 | Should I stay with him after what I know now?Right. I mean I think I've said somewhere in this thread that that's the most likely scenario, but let's say we take the most conservative hypothetical and think that maybe this guy will decide it's a bad idea and not meet up...EVEN then, I think the things he has said to OP are enough to ruin the relationship and she should still leave. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/08/15 01:26 PM |
| 3 | Should I stay with him after what I know now?Completely agree. The word "never" also means that he is actively avoiding making that connection with you and the fact that he doesn't even see the potential to make that connection with you is depressing and a red flag. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 11:22 PM |
| 7 | Should I stay with him after what I know now?you'll always be second fiddle to the one who got away. This will be true even if he decides meeting up with his ex is a bad idea and decides to forget the whole thing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 11:18 PM |
| 9 | Should I stay with him after what I know now?Seems slightly shady if ya ask me. That and I feel like he has already prepped you in case he decides to jump ship. It'll be less of a surprise because he's already told you the main problem he sees in the relationship. You should be demanding the emotional best of your captain, just like men demand the sexual best of their first mates. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 11:16 PM |
| 5 | Should I stay with him after what I know now?Short version: Leave Long version: First off, I think the reality of most relationships is that one partner is going to like the other a little more than they are liked back. Sometimes, this dynamic shifts. I personally believe that relationships where the woman is slightly more into the man are the healthiest because this slight imbalance will keep the woman's hypergamy in check. However, just because the woman is slightly more into the man than the man is into her does NOT mean that the man sh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 11:06 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayWomen won't sleep with a guy if they don't want his commitment. YES. The girls who trick themselves into thinking they're cool and ok in a friends with benefits situation are lying to themselves. Women get sex very easily, so why would they have sex with someone they don't both physically and emotionally connect with? | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 07:01 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayMen don't lose value as attractive long-term partners by sleeping around in the same way that women do. Exactly. Would you say that a man loses value by "committing" around? I can see how a man who gives up commitment too easily has less value because he's not being selective in the women he chooses, when an alpha will have many options and therefore only commit to the best, if he does commit. However, part of me wants to say that a man will bounce back from not being selective in his past, wher… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:57 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayThank you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:51 PM |
| 2 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayI don't know why you got downvoted. I love this comment. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:50 PM |
| 3 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayif both of you fail to state/agree on what you expect from the relationship, then no one is lying, by omission or otherwise, and you can't pull the victim card because he's not going along with your secret plan. This is a good thing to keep in mind. The victim card is so easy to play but a woman needs to be responsible for her actions and decisions. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:46 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayThe masculine RP man will press a woman for sex as hard as he can without crossing any lines. That's one of the things RP men need to learn, and reading stories about doing just that helps these men learn it, and realize their sexuality isn't bad or evil. At the same time, the women described in that FR clearly aren't red pill women. The RPW is not a slut and won't give it up as easily as the pool slut did. The man pushed her buttons, pushed her for sex, and she gave it up. He wasn't dishonest w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:44 PM |
| 4 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayIt's not easy, as essentially you have to keep the guy interested while withholding sex (until commitment, which alone repels the guy you don't want anyway) and giving to him in other ways (cook, etc), and the entire time you know he's getting his sexual needs met elsewhere. It's a frustrating game for both sexes. I agree it's frustrating for both. Both parties need to dance and wait until they get what they want: commitment and sex. I know a lot of people who think the woman should crack first … | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:42 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong waynot all good Captains are RP, nor are all RP men going to be good Captains Thank you. It's hard to remember that because I would say that while not all good first mates are RPW, I'd like to think that all true RPW are going to be good first mates. The spectrum is more diverse over there. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:29 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayTRP is a place for men to be men. Don't take it personal Thank you. It's hard to not take it personally but I suppose I need to keep this in mind while reading over there. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:28 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayYou're right. When I first read this story, I guess I sympathized with the Main Plate and made the assumption she was less slutty but I really have nothing to base that on | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:26 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayI really hope you're right :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:24 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayThank you for posting this. Very insightful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:24 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayThis makes me feel better | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:19 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayIf the story is true, the HB8 (or was it the 7?) clearly was the best out of all of them as she tried to subtly hint at the OP to go away by bringing up the guy she was seeing later. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:19 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayI wholeheartedly agree | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:17 PM |
| 2 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayThank you for being supportive of this sub and having optimism! | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/15 06:17 PM |
| 1 | Some parts of TRP still rub me the wrong wayThanks. I know that a true TRP doesn't lie but I'm sure some men will cherry pick when they first start out on that sub. Also, there is such thing as lying by omission, but I guess if he showers between girls and she already knew she wasn't exclusive, he doesn't necessarily have an obligation to tell her. But just...gross. You're right though. She chose to put her health in his hands. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/15 08:59 PM |
| 5 | What makes a good captain?The "alphas" I've been with won't commit. Watch out. You're on the path to becoming an alpha widow. You need to aim for someone a little less alpha and perhaps a little lower SMV than these guys but certainly more alpha than your LTRs. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/15 08:54 PM |
| 6 | Avoiding hamstering?I work in a law firm and have many associate attorney duties, so it's basically my job to hamster and manipulate words to make our client's position look good. It is so hard to turn off when I leave the office. My SO isn't familiar with RP theory, but I have asked him to call me out if I start "lawyering" and it has really helped me be more conscious of it. My advice is that anytime you're upset and you feel like you're saying the same thing over again and spinning your wheels (no pun intended)/… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/07/15 03:33 PM |
| 2 | Advice needed on how to stop naggingI'm slowly working on this, as well. I get really upset when I feel like he's breaking a promise. I try to remember not to say anything so that if it really is a problem/continues to bother me, I can organize my thoughts. Sometimes, however, I run into issues because he'd rather me say something while we're on the subject instead of hours later when it isn't on his mind anymore. Some guidelines I try to stick to: If it seems small/is an isolated incident, don't say anything. Really just bite you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/07/15 05:35 PM |
| 1 | Natural Beauty/Health Advice/r/skincareaddiction is one of my favorite subs. Also, apply shampoo primarily to the roots of your hair and conditioner primarily to the ends. I use Head & Shoulders 2 in 1 classic clean shampoo/conditioner as a shampoo and then use another conditioner (it varies- sometimes Garnier Fructise and sometimes Sheer Blonde) and it makes my hair super soft. A lot of my friends turn up their noses because H&S is advertised as a Dandruff shampoo but it really works well for my hair. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/07/15 04:55 PM |
| 1 | When to sacrifice things that weakens your future date-ability/Need help fully surrendering/Ethical DilemmaI'm a little late to the party but I sympathize with you because it sounds like you genuinely are willing to give up rowing for your SO, but felt uneasy about a particular situation involving rowing. I'm not sure what the entire situation was/how the misunderstanding came about, but if it truly was an ethical dilemma for you, I think the right answer would have been to move forward in a way that was in tune with your morals. If your boyfriend decided to break up with you for it, then you have no… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/06/15 07:38 PM |
| 3 | Need help with relationship issue, SO having emotional attachment to ex.In /r/TheRedPill, if a girl is not giving a guy her sexual best/she did more with previous guys, they hard next her. I think the analog here should be that if, after a reasonable amount of time, the guy is not giving you his emotional best/was more committed with previous girls, we should hard next them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/15 08:24 PM |
| 4 | How do I go about another woman threatening our relationship?If you want to keep him and make him a priority, I'd say quit your job and move there immediately. Fly out there and tell him you want to move in with him and gauge how he reacts. If he shows any resistance, it's too late and you should move on. I would be honest and say that hearing about your mutual friend made you slightly uncomfortable and sad that you don't get to cook for him as often as other girls might. He might be using the situation as dread game to get you to come out- in fact, I hop… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/15 07:58 PM |
| 2 | How do you not panic when SO doesn't message me at all during the day?I think you're right that insecurity and jealousy are the main issues, and that's something I struggle with as well. My advice is to stay positive and don't let negative energy seep into the relationship. When you do see him in person, act genuinely happy. Also, I feel that guys are more understanding of insecurity and jealousy than other potential flaws; for example, being overly aggressive or naggy, selfish, or a huge flirt. Don't unnecessarily bring up bad topics, but if you guys somehow star… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/15 03:51 PM |
| 1 | Dread Game and BoundariesExclusive for about a month and a half but dating for a few months. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/04/15 02:38 PM |
| 1 | Dread Game and BoundariesThanks. I really hope it is a mountain out of a molehill thing, because that means there is more I can do to fix the situation. I do find it interesting though that there are a diverse range of reactions on this thread as I think the situation comes close to the point where people split on what's a dealbreaker and what's acceptable. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/04/15 02:36 PM |
| 1 | Dread Game and BoundariesThank you. The plan is to definitely not mention her or ask about her but my awareness is definitely at a peak and I will have to work hard at not spending energy worrying. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/04/15 02:28 PM |
| 1 | Dread Game and BoundariesYeah I mean the fact that she's still chatting with him makes me doubt in the back of my mind whether he even did tell her he had a gf but I'm choosing to trust that he did because that is a dangerous line of thinking that could lead to trust issues fabricated from nothing. She might think that if she all of a sudden stops that makes her rejection more real, whereas if she keeps hitting him up "as friends" she can sort of pretend that that's what she was doing in the first place. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/15 08:42 PM |
| 1 | Dread Game and BoundariesThanks. Yeah so he met her at an awkward point before we were official so I am completely ok with the fact that he didn't initially disclose us and to be honest, I wasn't super bothered (but obviously somewhat on the alert) when she started hitting him up but then when I realized she was texting him way more than I thought and he got defensive about it that's when it REALLY started to bother me. I just don't like how he handled the situation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/15 08:39 PM |
| 1 | Dread Game and BoundariesI completely, completely agree with your bullet points and I've tried to hint that he's not only being reckless with my feelings but also hers. She is going out of her way to get his attention and if I were in her position, I'd be embarrassed to find out that the guy I'm throwing myself at was unavailable and was just using me for the attention. I agree he likes the attention, and I'm OK with him inviting attention from other girls because it's an occasional thing with them and they're not const… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/15 08:36 PM |
| 1 | Dread Game and BoundariesI don't think she's more attractive than me but she is in sort of the same league looks-wise. I'm definitely more in shape (and also think my face is prettier but she is pretty too) but as a result have way smaller tits than her, and some guys might like her body type more. I agree I am definitely on the alert and that the best thing to keep in mind is how much time he is spending with me vs. how much time he is talking to her. I really don't like it when those two things overlap but I think he … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/15 08:32 PM |
| 1 | Dread Game and BoundariesThank you. Upvote for you | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/15 08:29 PM |
| 1 | Dread Game and BoundariesThanks. Yeah I mean she is actually down to make plans and invites him to random places/hangs out with his friends hoping he'll swing through, and he has made it a point for me to not go. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/15 08:28 PM |
| 0 | Dread Game and BoundariesThank you for your well thought out response. I think it was a good sign that he wanted you to meet her, as well. He waited because when he met her, we weren't "together" yet and to be fair, he hasn't actively hung out with her despite her numerous invites. I do agree though that it's not ok to lead a girl on who he knew was into him, and I think it says a lot about his character and general recklessness with other people's feelings. The thing is he told me he was really happy with me, so I'm no… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/15 10:53 PM |
| 4 | Dread Game and BoundariesThank you for posting this. It definitely gives my feelings some validation. I will say he met her before we became official so I understand that makes it more difficult/awkward for him to bring it up. She was also apparently super embarassed when he told her and I felt bad for the girl :/ Yet she is still hitting him up which honestly makes me question if he is being truthful about disclosing that | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/15 08:49 PM |
| 2 | Dread Game and BoundariesI think it is a good idea to go over boundaries and expectations once you're more serious. And yeah, I'm in the same situation where we both get hit on. I just decline the attention way more than him (he gets pretty jealous, whereas I like the fact that other girls like him) but I just feel that maybe this situation is taking it a bit too far...but who am I to decide on my own that he in fact is? | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/15 07:57 PM |
| 2 | Dread Game and BoundariesI like your example. I think I would be OK in that situation, but might feel jealous if I thought she had the same SMV as me or if she were attractive. That's just how it is with me. I won't be threatened by someone I feel significantly superior to until physical contact actually starts happening. The thing with the hypothetical happy hour is that...I would want an invite, but he might think he was being rude by bringing me to hang out with a girl he knew really liked him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/15 07:53 PM |
| 6 | Dread Game and BoundariesThank you. Yeah the fact he is getting so defensive is a red flag. The thing is he is constantly like "I don't even understand why this is an issue but I won't hang out with her since it bothers you" and keeps telling me he has nothing to hide and when he calms my worries I legitimately feel better about the situation but then feel like a jerk that now he is upset that I don't trust him. I just don't know what the appropriate solution is without coming off as a crazy, jealous girlfriend. The rel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/15 07:49 PM |
| 4 | Dread Game and BoundariesI agree it definitely makes me want to step up my "fun" game but it also makes me want to monopolize his time because I want to keep him away. The thing to remember is that if he really wanted to do it, he would just do it and there's nothing I can do (at least in the short-term) to prevent it. Logically, I know a dinner date is just dinner and not sex, but I feel if he did that he would be putting himself in a position that could lead to sex or another boundary being crossed. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/15 07:16 PM |
| 6 | Dread Game and BoundariesI agree it is definitely relative to time, as I feel time is as valuable to guys as feelings are to girls. With men, your biggest offense is wasting or exploiting their time. With women, your biggest offense is wasting or exploiting their emotions. The other thing to consider is how much time he spends with you and to remind yourself he is choosing you over others when he is with you. I love how my SO chooses to spend A LOT of time with me, but I get upset when I feel like he is thinking of othe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/15 07:08 PM |
| 2 | How do you begin in a new relationship with withholding/waiting for sex when previously you have been more open about having sex?Thank you for putting it like that | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/15 02:45 PM |
| 6 | Sex deal breakershttp://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2vtazx/how_important_is_physical_attraction/ Someone commented in that thread that while you can seek other needs outside the relationship, sexual intimacy is one you should NOT be seeking outside of the relationship. I thought that was a really good way to think about it. So, sexual chemistry and compatibility are extremely important. I'm not saying this guy needs to give you the best sex of your life, but you should enjoy it. Otherwise, you risk be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/15 02:43 PM |
| 2 | How do you begin in a new relationship with withholding/waiting for sex when previously you have been more open about having sex?If he is willing to offer commitment and you believe him then your best bet is to be the best lover he has ever had and continue to be so while also providing the girl game type things. I think your advice is solid, but I, as someone who can see myself in a similar situation if I'm lucky enough to find a good man to date, have a question on her being the best lover for this guy if he offers commitment. Isn't it a little risky for her to give out her sexual best so early before she knows it's goi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/03/15 07:52 PM |
| 1 | RPW, WHO ARE YOU and why are you anti-feminist? I want to find out what sort of women frequent this sub.A little late, but for your data, and also to have in my post history: Just turned 24, female, white but a pretty tan/Mediterranean look (my last BF joked we were in an interracial relationship because he was nordic white), 2 LTRs, a past with mistakes, but looking to improve and be better. Wish I had found this sub sooner. Grew up in a suburb of a very big city in the US, went to a top 10 public college, and am now working at a law firm outside of the same city I grew up, but living with two pr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/03/15 07:43 PM |
| 8 | Ghosts of Boyfriends PastIf you want to make it work with this guy, you need to 100% devote yourself to him. Cut contact with your ex-flings and tell your friends you don't want to hear about them. Do more nice things for your SO. Everytime you get these urges, distract yourself by doing something for your current SO. I like making artsy crafts but it could be something like a mix CD or you could buy him something nice. You're right in that you are pining for higher SMV guys, but frankly, it sounds like you were never a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/03/15 02:05 PM |
| 3 | Breakup and depressionSorry this is late advice but I figured better late than never. I went through a pretty traumatic breakup in February to someone who I thought (and sometimes still believe) was the love of my life. What really really helped me was writing about it. I wrote a series of apologies and letters (to him but NOT actually sent to him) outlining what I thought were reasons why things didn't work out and even wrote a 10 page creative non-fiction with themes of anti-feminism, orientalism, and romanticism o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/03/15 08:53 PM |
| 1 | How important is Physical Attraction?What you can't do is find someone else to have sex with when you're in a relationship. I just wanted to say thank you for saying this. I read this a few days ago and haven't really stopped thinking about it. You can't expect your SO to satisfy 100% of your desires/interests (but I think an SO does satisfy 100% of needs), so you either adapt those/make sacrifices or find other people to help fill those voids. Sexual/Physical attraction for me is absolutely something I'm not willing to sacrifice a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/02/15 06:50 PM |
| 1 | Is it too late for us? Feminist ideas ruined my relationshipI just went through pretty much the same thing as you. I honestly started out following red pill ideas (although I wasn't familiar with red pill philosophy) and literally did ANYTHING my boyfriend asked. I defriended exes from FB, never hung out with boys or even girls he didn't like, cooked for him all of the time, did cutesy things for him, etc. I did everything I could for him, as he was my world. He was absolutely my no. 1 priority. Then my feminist friends started wondering why I wasn't goi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/15 04:41 PM |
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