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coffeedynamics Archive

View 16 posts and 377 comments by coffeedynamics on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
32

DISCUSSIONcoffeedynamics/r/RedPillWomen17/01/16 09:31 PM
24

Discussioncoffeedynamics/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:12 PM
24

Discussioncoffeedynamics/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/16 12:26 AM
21

RP THEORYcoffeedynamics/r/RedPillWomen14/04/16 05:06 AM
19

[FIELD REPORT]coffeedynamics/r/RedPillWomen09/01/16 10:05 PM
17

coffeedynamics/r/RedPillWomen08/04/16 01:53 AM
12

DISCUSSIONcoffeedynamics/r/RedPillWomen04/04/16 10:53 PM
8

CMVcoffeedynamics/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:27 PM
7

ADVICEcoffeedynamics/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 08:10 AM
5

RP THEORYcoffeedynamics/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 07:43 AM
4

Discussioncoffeedynamics/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 07:31 PM
3

coffeedynamics/r/RedPillWomen19/01/16 09:17 PM
3

Discussioncoffeedynamics/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/16 07:55 AM
3

Question for RedPillcoffeedynamics/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:52 AM
2

Question for BluePillcoffeedynamics/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 05:42 AM
0

coffeedynamics/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 09:42 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I'm sorry you had to deal with this. I really don't think this is normal behavior, or maybe I am just spoiled. I hope you don't think this is something you have to take from women.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/16 06:57 PM
1

I understand what you are saying. You want it to be predictive and not descriptive. It wouldn't be useful unless there is some continuity. I agree with that, but I think there is continuity, it's just not entirely fixed. If you have an anxious attachment style for instance, you won't switch to avoidant next week. It takes a long time to switch, or for something tramatic to happen, like death of a parent, getting cheated on, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 06:48 PM
1

Maybe women are more messed up than I thought, but that just doesn't seem like normal behavior to me. If you are in a relationship with one of these women, I think you should get out.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/16 06:44 PM
4

Dear god...women can't really be that bad, can they? I can hardly believe these are real.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/16 04:23 AM
1

This was a summary of several studies, and although the results were mixed, it seems like there is only a small correlation between parental attachment styles and adult attachment styles. Based on these kinds of studies, it seems likely that attachment styles in the child-parent domain and attachment styles in the romantic relationship domain are only moderately related at best. There is nothing conclusive, then? Basically, yeah. It's not a very satisfying answer, I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/16 04:16 AM
1

The first source I linked in my OP talked about this but I'll copy and paste the relevant section below for your convenience. Are Attachment Patterns Stable from Infancy to Adulthood? Perhaps the most provocative and controversial implication of adult attachment theory is that a person's attachment style as an adult is shaped by his or her interactions with parental attachment figures. Although the idea that early attachment experiences might have an influence on attachment style in romantic rel…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/16 06:42 PM
5

Let's look at this from a framework given by evolutionary psychology. Throughout human history, men had relatively better reproductive success by mating with lots of women. They have unlimited sperm, so this strategy would help maximize their baby output. Thus all of their energy and resources are put into finding and attracting a woman that will have sex with them. This is why men tend to put all the effort into the beginning stages of the relationship. They take the girl out, buy her flowers, …
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/16 06:23 PM
-6

If women from this sub are downvoting this, can you explain why? This sub was just reopened to allow free discussion of RP ideas without being confined to a singular perspective or set of goals. Even if some RP guy was to come here and say that all women should be plates and never ask for commitment, would that be so bad? Who cares as long as we have the space to discuss and question different ideas? If he is wrong, why not explain why instead of requesting thay the comment be deleted? Girls, I …
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/16 07:26 AM
1

I think he was just saying that there is always a grey period at the beginning of a relationship when the woman is vulnerable. She is not entirely sure if she can trust him yet. You disagree with this?
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/16 07:06 AM
2

I am a big fan of café cubano. Do you have a favorite?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/16 06:25 AM
6

I used to feel the same way until I met my current boyfriend. I trust him more than I trust myself. I think there is nothing wrong with you feeling this way though. Although you seem scared of something. I hope this isn't to personal, but have you had bad experiences with men before?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/16 07:20 PM
7

You are imagining us submitting to some guy from TRP who enjoys his revenge fantasies and expresses strong disapproval of women. You cannot imagine submitting to this man because you rightly recognize that he would not act in your best interests. To make it 'fair', you want to match his adversarial approach. In your perspective, men want war, and you are going to oblige. However men are not TRP men. RPW are with men who are excedingly trustworthy, kind, and look out for us. Think of a warm autho…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/16 06:49 PM
1

I read that about 60% of kids show securely attached behaviors. 40% is a big minority, but at least it's a minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/16 06:32 PM
2

How is it my attachment style when it depends completely on the person I am with? You learn your attachment style based on your past relationships. Over time this can change as you learn and adapt to new relationships, but this doesn't happen instantaneously. So even if you are with a secure person, you will still be anxiously attached at least at first. Imagine never having been with a trustworthy person. Even if your next partner is trustworthy, you still won't trust them immediately due to yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/16 04:10 PM
2

I first read about it on Mark Manson's site here. He gives a nice summary. Does the adult attachment style always stem from the parental bond or can it change in adulthood? It is learned at first from parental bonds, but it can and often does change over time. So, for example, if you had a secure bond with your parents but your first boyfriend/girlfriend was anxious/avoidant, you learn to have different types of sexual relationships from the familial one (i.e. not secure)? If you didn't break up…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/16 03:32 PM
6

INTJ here too! I actually think we are pretty common on reddit. You know..having no social life and all that.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/16 05:50 AM
3

There wasn't much of a gender divide in college aged couples, at least according to one of the studies I linked. And thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/16 04:05 AM
3

Yeah, true. That's probably why all the RPillers in happy LTR's seem to be more moderate.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/16 01:49 AM
3

Beauty: I recently read about oil cleansing, so I purchased some oils and gave it a try. I love it so far! If you like the idea of natural cleansers, you might give honey a shot. It's messy but it makes your skin so soft!
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/16 10:22 PM
1

That's what made him so attractive to me, and he calls me a hypergamous cunt quite affectionately whenever I gush over him. That's really funny! He is RP too then? Any man there who complained that women didn't defer to him simply because of his sex would likely be told to build his smv more and quit whining. So not necessarily being superior in all respects, but certainly not being entitled to a certain standard of treatment by virtue of his genitals. Absolutely. From the woman's perspective I …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 10:18 PM
2

It's interesting how we all have our own personal interpretations of these things. Really to me, all a submissive is, is a person who derives their own happiness through making her SO happy. This is something I disagree with, honestly. I used to believe this myself but I think it led to over dependency on my partner. Lately I've been trying to get away from this type of thinking. The way I think of it is this, my boyfriend should have the freedom to be sad, depressed, or upset without drasticall…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/16 10:08 PM
1

Of course your behavior affects him and vise versa. That is different from saying that you can control his behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 01:25 AM
2

If you're going to submit to a man, why wouldn't you want him to be more capable? To be someone you admire and see as superior? This is the ideal, but realistically how often does this happen for women especially considering hypergamy? We have to give women something realistic to work with. There just aren't enough alphas or high betas for everyone. If a woman ends up with a low beta, then it would still benefit her to defer, even if he has done nothing to earn it. It seems silly to submit to so…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 01:24 AM
1

Well like I said to MissMaude, I think this is still rooted in BP thinking, although it looks RP from outward appearances. I'm still new at this however, so I could be completely wrong. Merit-based leadership is already widely accepted by BPillers. It is the foundation of the egalitarian model of relationships. The man might mow the lawn or do the cooking because he is better at it. The woman handles finances or decorating because she is better at that. This is standard BP operating procedure. W…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 01:18 AM
2

I guess this is just my personal opinion at this point, but I think that when you enter a relationship with a man, you have an obligation to meet his needs. If you aren't willing to take on this responsibility, then you shouldn't enter into the relationship at all. Thus, deference is my responsibility, and not something he has to earn. It is not a transaction, it comes automatically along with the relationship. Effectively I think both our positions look the same, but the motivation behind our a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 12:52 AM
1

I actually do respect him though. It's not just a convincing lie. And i'm not saying that you need to defer 100% of the time. Just > 50% of the time as a minimum.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 12:44 AM
2

I actually agree with you here. I don't submit to my boyfriend because he is more capable. I submit to him because he is a man. I think that /u/RockHardFlabs relationship ideals are still rooted in BP ideas about an egalitarian, merit-based leadership.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 12:41 AM
1

Yes, it is also about being trustworthy myself. My boyfriend cannot trust me if he thinks that I will withhold respect and admiration on account of his behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/16 09:07 PM
1

What if your husband withheld affection every time you didn't put on makeup or stopped showing you affection entirely when you gained a little weight or got older?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/16 09:02 PM
3

That is a good attitude to have from your perspective, but I don't think it should be something that women should expect from men. Say for instance that a man falls into depression and starts acting in a way that is not admirable. If the woman withhold respect and deference because he is no longer earning it, then she is teaching him that she will stop fulfilling his needs when he behaves badly. This feels like blackmailing, and he will lose trust and confidence in her and their relationship. Of…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/16 08:57 PM
3

Stick it out or leave. It's up to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/16 08:49 PM
3

Let me put it this way. Would you want your husband to treat you like you are beautiful even on the mornings when you aren't looking your best? Wouldn't you want him to tell you are beautiful, even when you get old and ugly? The female need to be desired is independent of her actual level of desirability. Of course the husband already thinks she is beautiful, else he wouldn't have married her. That's a given. But it's not about him rewarding her with validation for being beautiful. He tells her …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/16 08:47 PM
6

Well to be honest, I think you feel this way because our feminist culture has conditioned you to believe that your needs are shameful and worthy of scorn. Men are derided for their 'fragile male egos' and for wanting power in their relationship. I do not think this is shameful though. Men want to feel needed. There is nothing wrong with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/16 08:35 PM
3

You can't force him to satisfy your needs unless he already wants to anyways, so it is irrelevant. The only behavior you have direct control over is yourself, so that should be your focus.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/16 08:21 PM
1

The problem I have with this logic is that I believe women should defer even if their man is not the best at making decisions. For instance, you might remember Vampiresquid and her husband. She didn't want to defer because she felt that her man was less responsible and less capable than her. However, men want to feel important regardless of whether or not they are actually the best person for the job. Deferment, in my opinion, is about satisfying male needs and not utility.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/16 06:48 PM
3

I just made a thread about this on RPW Short answer. 1) I want to promote what psychologists call a secure attachment style in my relationship because these are the healthiest and happiest types of relationships. By deferring to my boyfriend I am communicating to him that I recognize his needs and consider them important. 2) Men like to feel big, strong, and important. I want my boyfriend to feel this way and I do this by being submissive. When he is happy, I am happier. What happens if you stro…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/16 06:43 PM
1

I completely agree that this is a fundamental male need, and I see this sentiment expressed lot on reddit especially. This is not something I've experienced in my personal life however. I have not found that men react positively to dependency from women. It may just be because I took it too far though. I think my poor boyfriend felt like he was raising a needy child instead of being in a romantic relationship with an adult woman.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/16 05:48 PM
1

Hmm this is making me think. So submission is not just complying to his requests. If this were the case, then men would be submissive too at least ocassionally. Instead, submission is acting in a way that makes him feel big, strong, and important. Domimance is acting in a way that makes her feel secure and protected. This is good to discuss. It helps clarify some of the ideas mentioned in this sub. Is deference something different than submission? I always thought it was just doing what he asked…
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/16 05:29 PM
2

And while that definitely happening in these kinds of relationships, that doesn't make both partners submissive. Good point, but I'm struggling to find a practical difference between RPW's version of submission and what I described above. If it looks exactly the same in practice, then could the difference just come down to semantics? You can foster this kind of "mutually caring relationship" from both a dominant prospective and a submissive one. Could you give a real life example from each persp…
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/16 06:27 AM
1

That's a good question. I don't really know to be honest.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/16 11:50 PM
10

I thought the same thing when I first came here! It seemed like all RPW advice was geared towards only one type of relationship problem, a naggy, domineering woman. That was never my problem though. Like you, my problem was that I was too dependent on my boyfriend. What helped me in the beginning was to think of myself as the captain of my own ship, and first mate on my boyfriend's ship. When it came to my life, I had to take responsibility, meet my own needs, and get things done. It's not my bo…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/16 11:43 PM
3

I agreed with the "red pill answer" that you linked. Partner count is a metric to judge a person's ability to maintain a relationship. The more you dump the other person, or are dumped yourself, the higher your relationship turn over rate. The higher your turn over rate, the higher your N count. In fact, I believe that a low N count in men should be something women look for as well, especially since they are primarily looking for LTR's. (BTW there was not enough math! Don't think you are going t…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/16 01:36 AM
2

They were probably trying to clear out all the men.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/16 12:55 AM
1

Red Pill as a philosophy is rational egoism coupled with realism and a dash of biological determinism. Red pill as a science is evolutionary psychology. Red pill as a political ideology is just anti femininism or anti far left. Red pill as a heuristic is a collection of reworked PUA stuff and pop psychology. There is no Red Pill as a moral system.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/16 06:21 AM
2

Is your unhappiness causing problems in your relationship, or are your relationship problems what's causing you to be unhappy? It's important to know where you need to direct your focus, your relationship, or yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/16 01:25 AM
9

This is a tough one. I don't have any advice that will work for the long term, but I thought I'd suggest a more immediate solution. Note that my guy is exceptionally laid back and loves to play, so this might not work for every guy. I know it sounds stupid, but this is my solution to 90% of my relationship problems and it seems to work lol. The basic idea is this. Fuck communication, and wrestle him instead. I initiate a play-wrestling session with my guy whenever I'm angry or when I just want t…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/16 01:17 AM
2

This was my first reaction too. I was even tempted to just post "get over it". However, on second thought, men often say that they wish women would be upfront and direct about what they want. Would it be acceptable in some cases to just ask him directly, and then for her to fully accept and support his decision regardless of what he chooses to do?
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/16 05:49 PM
2

What he called out was that I didn't acknowledge that he said something to me. Not necessarily the mousepad issue but that I didn't respond to him in general. Ok, so you made a mistake. It happens. Don't beat yourself up over it. =) Let's use what you learned so it doesn't happen again. But what was the issue with your apology? Was it your tone that was the problem, or what you said? Or was the problem that this had this happened so many times before that he was frustrated with you? Also, it see…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/16 05:44 PM
5

He came up to me and asked if I was fine because he knew I wasn't - told him I knew I didn't look fine but I was (I didn't want to bother him with another sap story about how sad I felt) Ok great, he left it at that and was awesome. You have to give your captain accurate information about the state of the ship when he asks. I know you just didn't want to bother him, but telling him you were fine when you weren't was a lie. I think this was your first mistake that resulted in a series of addition…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/16 05:08 PM
2

No, because being a housewife is a reasonable goal. Being a professional NASCAR driver isn't. I was talking about the woman in my post. The woman who wanted to be a marine biologist. And you can use a more reasonable example, maybe he wants to be a DJ, play in a band, or hike around the world or something. If a man chooses marriage over his goals, that is his choice. It sucks if his marriage didn't work out, but I don't think that she is somehow in debt to him. Particularly if his dream was hope…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/16 10:31 PM
1

I gotta agree with pandararosie, just reading the first paragraph is seems like the issue is bad goal setting and life management. Would you same the same for the housewife I described in my post? What I would fault him for is having the family, but then holding his forfeited dream up as leverage. "Oh, you want to take on a part time job and have me help around the house more? But I gave up my dream for you!" I don't think anyone would think this was a good idea. But it is a way to understand th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/16 08:57 PM
1

I think this is the answer. Eventually I think the normative beliefs might become a part of the ideology though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/16 08:51 PM
2

Thank you! That's a wonderful compliment.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 08:39 PM
3

This is so nice :) Your new girl is an inspiration. I'm happy for you.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 07:23 PM
2

The point of that post was to see it from the man's point of view. Of course it isn't going to fit every single couple. But imagine this. Imagine a woman gave up her dreams of becoming a marine biologist so that she could become a housewife for the man she loved. She wanted to be able to raise their kids while he furthered his career. Then when she was old and the kids were grown, he leaves her for a younger woman. Can you imagine the hurt and betrayal she would feel? Well men also feel this hur…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/16 04:56 PM
1

I agree that in context using a should doesn't necessarily imply a normative statement. I would call your examples predictive, not normative. However I am asking if there is anything in RP, specifically RPW, that is valued for it's own sake.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/16 02:46 PM
3

I was thinking more of RPW, not TRP.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/16 02:31 PM
2

I think you are right. The normative part comes in when setting the goal. Certain goals are valued by the community more than others. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just that I've never thought of RP as being normative before. That is generally a feature we give to BP, but I think RP has it too to some degree. Being proccess oriented would avoid this somewhat because we could say "do this to become attractive" without explicitly telling the reader what their goal should be.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 12:40 PM
1

Not my style.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 04:38 AM
0

Let me put it this way. Take two identical women who both work hard to maintain attraction in their relationship. Both are with men that are equally committed to them. Now add a little bit of dread to the first woman's relationship. Who is more likely to hold attraction to her partner over a long period of time? I would say the first woman, even though the second woman worked equally as hard.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 02:57 AM
1

For the science definition he can have both sets of traits. For my definition, alpha and beta are a continuum. An extreme alpha would be a man with all the power in the relationship. And extreme beta would be someone with no power. The ideal man would be somewhere in the middle, but more on the alpha side.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 02:35 AM
7

Here's what you can do. 1) Create the image and text using whatever software you have. 2) Apply cross-stitch filter. 3) Print it out and frame it. 4) Do not let anyone look at it too closely.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 01:43 AM
5

DONT DO THAT TO THE MEN WHO PLEDGED THEMSELVES TO US. It wasn't my motto before, but after reading your post it is now! my husband and i have a motto "no one gets out of this marriage alive" I love this so much! :) I am going to steal it.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 01:22 AM
8

This post was very enlightening for me. I think it is hard for women to empathize with the pain men go through after a divorce. We are tempted to think, What's the big deal? Women suffer financially in a divorce too. Yet we fail to recognize that men make a huge sacrifice when committing to marriage. Like you said, they give up all their dreams (and sexual strategy) to make the woman happy and create a family with her. Then when his wife leaves him she essentially makes this sacrifice mean nothi…
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 01:16 AM
1

. The idea that you will lose attraction to someone because you have a safety net is lazy on the womans part. I don't think this is true. If I am operating from a realistic rather than idealistic perspective, I would want to take all known elements of attraction into account.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 12:41 AM
2

It looks like we are just using different analogies to describe the same thing :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/16 12:09 AM
1

The problem is not security, it's the over abundance of security that a marriage. Would you? I would worry about losing attraction, but if he asked me to marry him I still would.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 12:07 AM
1

I think this is the crux of the issue. Some people have this idea that a man getting married is a hit to his attraction in and of itself. Yes, this is what I think. This is a little controversial, but I view marriage as a shit test and if the guy falls for it he will automatically become less attractive in her eyes.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 12:04 AM
2

Yes, thanks. And I agree. I was thinking you meant that you viewed your relationship as "if I do X amount of work he will pay me Y". Also in a job, the long term goals of a boss and employee usually differ, but in a relationship the goals are the same. That's why I consider my relationship work, but not a job. I think of my boyfriend and I as a team, and he's the team captain. Everything I do for him is meant to acheive our mutual goals, not so I can get paid lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/16 11:56 PM
2

Also, I do consider a relationship a job. So that may just be a fundamental difference in RPW and BP thinking. I would like to hear more of your thoughts on this since I disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/16 11:34 PM
1

Thank you for your well thought out posts in this thread. You argued it better than I could.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 10:25 PM
2

It's a joke, a cartoon version of what BP thinks of TRP. It's actually funny. I go there for a laugh occasionally. Can you guys not see that it isn't meant to be taken seriously?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/16 05:36 PM
2

They banned you from askTRP?
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 05:28 PM
9

Science definition... Alpha: traits linked with testosterone, sexually dimorphic traits. Beta: traits linked with parenting and providership. My definition... Alpha: A man who has more power (less emotional investment) than me. Beta: A man who has less power (more emotional investment) than me.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 03:57 PM
0

By talking do you mean just chatting about your day or communicating about your relationship? Also to avoid conflict, I want to know how to answer properly. Answer what exactly? What did he say that prompted "Do you think I'm stupid?" from you?
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 06:14 AM
1

What would happen if you just did everything he asked for a week or two? Would that resolve your conflicts?
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 05:50 AM
0

I think there comes a point in an LTR where you can say that you know realistically he is not going to leave you, unless you do something really terrible. I would like to believe this is true, but is it? I guess it depends where you draw the line of "too" comfortable and secure, and whether marriage is before, after, or on that line. This is a good point. The line might be different depending on the situation. For me the point is more that knowing marriage is a bad deal for him and being unwilli…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 05:33 AM
2

I think this explains one of the reasons why Donald Trump has been so successful. Instead of playing the political correctness game, he purposefully polarizes. It's counter intuitive, but by pissing people off you can make yourself even more popular (also see TRP). Very interesting video. Thanks for sharing.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 03:30 AM
1

Thanks. That's my feeling too. I told him from the very begining that I never wanted to get married, mostly because I saw how unhappy my parents were in their marriage. However, he still wants to get married and brings it up occasionally. Since I don't want to lose him, I've been considering it.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 02:21 AM
2

I agree somewhat. At the very least I think that respect is needed to maintain attraction over the long term. However, I still don't see the benefit of marriage. The whole reason dread game works is because it removes any excess feelings of comfort and safety. It seems like marriage would be anti-dreading yourself by creating a safety net. You have less motivation to keep putting effort into the relationship, because "he will never divorce me anyways". I know no one here would ever consciously t…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 02:11 AM
3

Oh ok. I just wanted to hear your reasoning, not necessarily debate :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 01:55 AM
1

Yes because I think that it will cause us to lose attraction to our partners. Do you have a counter to this?
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 01:42 AM
1

Does this prevent the second option from happening?
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 12:43 AM
2

Well thank you. I look forward to seeing where this new direction takes us.
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/16 07:54 PM
10

I think it originally started as a way to deprogram. The truth is, we're all selfish beings, yes. But the nature of woman is that if she were to simply follow her selfish interests, she would find it was a poor long term strategy. To give an example, this was the type of response I was hoping for in this sub. "X are your goals and here are the reasons why following instinct Y would not work to achieve X. May I suggest Z instead." But instead I saw mostly this, "The fact that you want X shows Y a…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/16 07:43 PM
9

Thanks for hearing me out. I prefer real talk over comfortable lies. I'd love to hear more about what you're saying here. I don't know if you meant now or in the future, but I'll use this opportunity to speak my mind. I believe the core features of RP philosophy are rational egoism coupled with the aim to prioritize truth over normative values. RPW seemed to be departing from this slightly in two major ways. For one thing, it discouraged women for using self interest to motivate their actions. T…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/16 06:16 PM
7

About Whisper's post, was he banned from RPW for criticizing RPW in the askTRP sub, or did he also comment something here? Also, I would welcome more open discussion. The only way to improve is to continually challenge your beliefs. I don't mean that we have to argue the fundamentals over and over again, but it would productive, for instance, if we could discuss some alternatives to the Captain/First mate dynamic without fear of being banned. I also hope that we can speak more openly about being…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/16 04:48 PM
1

And just for kicks, my favorite dessert (other than all of them, ever) right now would be creme brûlée because it sounds pretty good. I had a honey one once served with a side of lavender sorbet and I though I had died and gone to heaven. Oh my, I must try this. You wouldn't happen to have a recipe would you?
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/16 05:48 PM
3

I really love yoga. It puts me in a relaxed calm state and makes my whole body feel good from head to toe. I'm also more flexible now than when I was a teenager which is great.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/16 04:47 PM
1

I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/16 03:47 AM
4

They don't coddle women. I don't really care if they coddle men or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/16 02:53 AM
2

Maybe I mislabeled it then. I never thought that shit testing was a conscious thing. I think the result is the same though.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/16 02:24 AM
1

Hmm I'm not following you. Explain what you mean by... I think it might be important for you to distinguish trouble made as a fitness test and stress which is actually caused by some unaddressed issue or mistakes in the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/16 02:13 AM
18

I like the anger. I think it's a refreshing change from the perpetual coddling women get from everyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 07:09 PM
4

I guess it depends on how you define success. To me success isn't living off of the government or your ex husband's alimony checks.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 06:44 PM
1

I was just agreeing and expanding on your thoughts, not arguing :) Being a man sounds complicated. I really appreciate everything men do for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 06:05 PM
0

No one wants to be an old woman. If she divorces her husband, then she has no value apart from her kids. She could have built up extrinsic value, but she didn't because she never had any motivation to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 05:58 PM
1

There are two sides to this. If you cave to her unreasonable demands, then she's going to lose trust. If you don't cave to her reasonable demands (or requests) she will also lose trust. For instance if you are hurting her and she asks you to stop but you don't, then she is going to lose trust. Alpha corresponds to the first case, not giving into her unreasonable requests. Beta corresponds to the second case, giving into her reasonable requests. This is why you need both for the relationship to w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 05:47 PM
2

Problem is women get a false sense of security based on their intrinsic value when they are young, and when it goes away they have nothing because they never bothered building up their extrinsic value. Also accomplishments aren't really attractive to men, so women have no real motivation to build any sort of value beyond their appearance. So I think women do eventually lose the game, but it's their fault for not playing smart.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 05:34 PM
3

Sounds similar to my past relationship, only I was in your wife's shoes. In my past relationship, my boyfriend wanted to lead, but I didn't respect or trust him enough to follow. Do you think that's what happened with your wide too?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 05:11 PM
2

Did you guys fight a lot? This is something I've been curious about. If you were overly beta does that mean you didn't even fight because you just gave in to your wife all the time?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 04:41 PM
10

In her mind, as long as she's following a platonic social script, what is going on in the private psychology of both of them is irrelevant. This is dead on.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 04:09 PM
1

Does it make you feel any better afterwards? It always just made me feel worse about myself instead of better.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 05:24 AM
9

You don't have to take directions from strange men on the internet. If some man you don't know or care about tells you to do something you don't want to do, just say no and then don't do it. It's as simple as that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 03:00 AM
1

It's not apathy. It's not letting some dumbass (that would be me in this case) who says bad things about women on the internet bother you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 01:39 AM
1

How is anyone here mistreating you?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 12:42 AM
1

So what? Maybe those guys are idiots. Let them think you are dumb. Arguing isn't going to change anyone's mind. Actually not being dumb is the only thing that will effect how people think of you. Or if you are dumb, who cares? There are dumb people, fat people, short people, smelly people, and ugly people. It's not that bad being dumb. People will still treat you basically the same way they treat everyone else. Also, you don't think guys call each other dumb? Of course they do. Men call other me…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 12:30 AM
2

How do you think people will treat you if they believe this?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 12:04 AM
1

Why do you care if they do?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/16 11:58 PM
2

It's also fighting for your own self worth. It is interesting that you would say this. Why would you have to fight for your self worth? Let's say some guys on the internet say that women are stupid, spoiled, manipulative brats. Now let's say that no one argues against them or fights to defend women. Would that make what they say true? Would you lose any self worth as a result?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/16 11:44 PM
2

I'm saying this not because I want to hurt your feelings or don't like you. I'm saying this because I was in your position once and I know how awful it feels. Please don't take this too personally. If you don't care about male approval, why do you make so many threads where you are claiming to be special or not like other women? I understand that not everyone is the same. However, people who make a point of saying that they are different usually do so because they want some sort of approval or v…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/16 11:18 PM
3

I never would have thought I wanted this until I experienced it first hand with my boyfriend. He can turn me from mad to laughing just like that. It's amazing.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/16 08:20 PM
5

I wouldn't blame him either, but I think it will cause you to lose attraction to him eventually.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/16 08:02 PM
4

Bad: Still hoping and expecting my boyfriend to change. Still struggling to let go of egalitarian ideals. Good: I sold my car without the help and assistance of my boyfriend. I didn't even bother him with questions. I did all the research and work on my own. Normally I would have been completely dependent on him for something like this. He said he was proud of me which felt really good to hear.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/16 06:33 PM
23

One small thing I think is important is the guy's ability to neutralize your emotional outbursts rather than escalating them. Obviously we need to learn to control our own emotions. However, sometimes the best of us can slip. If your guy reflects or escalates your emotions then that's bad. If he neutralizes them, that's good. For an example, suppose you get angry and yell at your boyfriend for some reason. (Don't do this but just pretend it happens) He should act dismissive and tease you, but no…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/16 06:23 PM
1

This may be true, but I never felt like I had any power over men. It felt like men had power over me. Look at how upset BP women get over TRP's negative evaluations of women. They are so upset because they feel threatened by men. They wouldn't feel threatened unless they believed that men have some sort of power over them. Women are so desperate for male approval that even a stranger talking shit on the internet upsets them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/16 05:48 PM
1

On the flip side, my boyfriend is big into instagram and I really enjoy being his picture taking partner. I pretend that he is a famous photographer and I am his assistant. It's a lot of fun.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/16 10:38 PM
22

Imagine being a really pleasant passenger on a road trip with your husband. You don't question his decision to take the interstate instead of the highway. You don't complain that he is driving too slow or that his choice of radio station sucks. You don't give him orders on where to go, unless he asks. Maybe you program the GPS or look for the right exit on the map, but you only do this to assist him in his driving. You trust him to get both of you where you are going safely, because he has alrea…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/16 10:35 PM
8

Most women don't need to exploit men, because men give them stuff willingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/16 08:41 PM
14

Women are coddled, protected, and given handouts by society and men. Their shitty behavior is excused. They aren't held accountable or blamed for their actions. They are perpetually the victims. This gives them a lot of advantages. They can live comfortably even though they made bad choices or didn't work very hard. However, this is not power in my opinion. Power is the ability to get what you want through your own actions and merits. Power is the ability to actualize your dreams. Women don't ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/16 06:58 PM
2

It only comes up with women who are significantly less attractive than me, because then I monopolize male attention. Then I will notice my friend feels left out and I will try to make her look good. One time I had a friend say something catty, but she came to me and admitted it and apologized. I had another friend who constantly compared herself to me. I would compliment her and try to make her feel good about herself. I'm not that attractive though. I'm just not fat. So this mostly only happens…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/16 11:38 PM
1

I believe most of the posters in RPW are already in relationships, so I think it is wrong to classify the sub as a strategy to find hot, successful guys like you said earlier. For the women who are single, you are right about them trying to become good wife material. However, they focus more on finding a man who is a good leader and captain, like PhantomDream09 said below.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/16 11:21 PM
1

Can I come back? :(
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/16 11:12 PM
4

It makes more sense when it's used to describe alpha and beta behavior rather classifying some men as alpha and some men as beta.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/16 09:46 PM
0

No never. I've had multiple guys pursuing me but never the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/16 09:41 PM
4

Have you ever been to RPW? It's not about getting a super hot successful husband. It's about making the husband you already have happy and keeping control over your AWALT tendencies.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/16 09:39 PM
2

What was your longest down period?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/16 08:46 AM
-3

Then they blame their unhappiness on their spouse (or their job or some external thing) Can you agree that this is something that women in particular need to work on? It seems to me that women base 90% or more of their happiness on their relationship with their SO. Men are more likely to independently cultivate their own happiness, so they are less likely to blame their unhappiness on their spouses.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/16 08:43 AM
-1

It's a continuum. The uglier she is, the sluttier she has to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/16 07:27 AM
-1

Take an ugly guy and an ugly girl. The ugly guy can make up for being ugly by being confident (dominant). The ugly girl can make up for her ugliness by being sexually available and slutty.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/16 05:51 AM
-1

Women like social dominance related confidence. Men like flirtatious, sex-related confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/16 05:29 AM
1

Wearing a skirt with half your ass hanging out takes a sort of confidence and men are certainly attracted to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/16 05:15 AM
1

To sum it up, a woman cheating on her partner is way more catastrophic to the relationship than a man cheating on his partner. Which came first though, the relationship problems or the cheating?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/16 09:34 PM
2

Why? We had a male babysitter once and it was basically the greatest thing ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/16 09:22 PM
2

What is your process for meeting women? I know we are just a bunch of nerds too, but maybe we can give you some feedback.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/16 06:59 AM
2

Genetic diversity?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/16 07:01 PM
1

Since I was recently blue, let me explain their view. The hypocrisy comes from the moral judgement not the preferences. Shaming a person for doing X when you also do X is hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/16 06:22 PM
2

If he is not being upfront about his sexual interest, why should she be upfront about her lack of sexual interest?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/16 03:30 PM
1

Maybe. I just discovered what I thought to be AWALT might have actually been my own codependency.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/16 07:10 AM
1

Thanks again. Your book recommendations may have just changed my life!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 11:38 PM
1

This is something I've struggled with my whole life. Judging from your comment, I'm guessing the right thing is to come clean, but I was honestly debating either way just a moment ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 09:44 PM
2

Yeah I had an alcoholic, drug addict in my past too. Made it really easy to blame him for everything. Now though I see how it was mostly my fault. He just drank. I fucked with his head.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:52 PM
1

True. I think scarcity mentality is part of it too. When you love someone you don't feel like anyone will ever be able to replace them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:49 PM
1

I haven't read it yet, but I'm going to buy it tonight. The description seems pretty weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:46 PM
1

A breakup is a failure if you didn't want the relationship to end I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:41 PM
2

But even in those relationships, I shared responsibility in the sense that I tolerated J's insane behavior for way longer than necessary, and I kept giving K chances even after I knew I was done because the sex and companionship was good. So I just don't see it as a useful concept, I guess. Good attitude. IMO. It was a useful concept for me, because I would always put all the responsibility on the other person. I needed to take some responsibility for my mistakes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:39 PM
1

Facing Codependence
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:36 PM
1

Well at least now you know that she was the one who was crazy and not you. Think of her as a bratty little kid who runs away from her 'abusive' parents because they won't buy her a pony. Only in your case she was running away from the 'abusive' boyfriend who wouldn't let her cheat. To be fair to her, I think this is almost completely unconscious. The hamster is so strong that she probably believed it herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:35 PM
1

I actually think that women are so spoiled that as soon as you don't give them their way they feel 'abused'.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:28 PM
2

Most of my prior relationships lasted between 6 months and 2 years. I was always the one who did the dumping. I felt burnt out because I didn't get enough out of the relationships relative to what I put in. I used to struggle with this too. It really helped me to start doing things because I wanted to do them, not because it was part of my contribution to the relationship. I grew up believing in the message "love is enough"; the idea that if you "truly love" someone, then the rest will just work…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:25 PM
1

Sure, that book will explain it much better than I can though. So codependence is essentially taking responsibility for the feelings of others. Another way of thinking about it is as covert narcissism, because it's typically: A form of control. Often one that deprives people in a relationship the opportunity to learn more about themselves. Necessarily assumes that you can know other people's feelings. Also founded on the assumption that codependent person is SO important that the feelings of oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:16 PM
1

I'm not justifying it. I'm saying women be ridiculous like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:09 PM
1

I wish I would have picked that as my username instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:02 PM
2

Women think that you trying to prevent them from fucking other men is abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 07:44 PM
1

What do you think has kept you together for so long?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 07:22 PM
3

Scar killing Mufasa = beta uprising?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 07:20 PM
5

What about lying about orgasms to spare his feelings. Is that along the same lines? I know this is probably all contained in that book you shared with me but can you ellaborate on how this is an example of codependent thinking?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:30 PM
1

I don't think I've successfully internalized everything completely. I can say I believe it on paper, but the real test will be if I can implement it through my actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:26 PM
1

Main cause of breakup, both of our inability to tell before getting deeply into it that we were NOT the right people for each other. What were your characteristics that were incompatible with each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:21 PM
1

I have seen the complaint that their bf is over critical from women a lot. I would like to figure out a solution, but I haven't been able to yet. RP might interpret this as a man who wants to lead, but I don't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:18 PM
1

How long have you been with your husband now?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:14 PM
1

LDR's seem almost impossible to maintain. I can only think of one or two among my friends that ever lasted. It seems like you two had different life goals anyways though. Thanks for sharing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:13 PM
1

Thank you for your response. Sad to see such a long relstionship end, but the kids issue is hard to work around.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:10 PM
1

Thank you for sharing. LDR's seem to be common relationship killers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:07 PM
1

Thank you for sharing. I had a similar break up experience. When I felt like I grew to be better than my ex I lost all attraction to him and then after a long struggle I dumped him.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:05 PM
1

Thank you for your response. Maybe your bf did not like his brother's wife either?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:00 PM
1

Can you ellaborate on the abuse part of it? How did he treat you like you were worthless?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 05:55 PM
1

Seems like physical separation is a common cause of break ups. I'm just curious about where BP is coming from and if they've had different relationship experiences than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 05:53 PM
1

Would you say it is a problem of rigid gender roles or rigid gender identities. For an example, "I can't possibly be abusing my boyfriend because I am a woman and women don't do that"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 05:51 PM
1

Since you are a RP natural, what parts of RP would you agree and disagree with when it comes to attracting women and maintaining attraction from women?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 05:47 PM
1

Thank you for your responses. They were very interesting. I've noticed before that a lot of women complain about their boyfriends never wanting to do anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:14 AM
10

http://imgur.com/P5miy4b
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 08:04 AM
1

I wonder how common this problem is and what can be done to resolve it. Do you have any ideas?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 07:21 AM
1

I'm glad you got out of that. I think it is interesting that she couldn't directly ask for what she wanted. Why do you think that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 07:07 AM
3

How long have you been with your current boyfriend?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:52 AM
2

Did he just break up with you out of the blue one day? That must have been hard after that many years.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:52 AM
1

Did you lose attraction to her?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:46 AM
2

Besides the cheating, can you describe her emotional abusive tendencies?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:45 AM
2

A disconnect between my behavior and my current stituation and well being.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 06:44 AM
1

Did you only read that one line of my post?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 04:35 AM
23

I agree with all just about all of it, especially AWALT. I agree with "Women are the most responsible teenagers in the house". I agree that in order for a woman to be attracted to a man sexually he has to have power over her. I think that in our culture women are entitled, lack all agency and responsibility, and continually play the victim. I think that currently men are morally superior to women at least when it comes to relationships. I don't have a problem with anything TRP says. I don't thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 04:24 AM
1

I thought topping from the bottom was trying to control him passively?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 04:07 AM
1

True for me, but I think some other RPW feel differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 03:54 AM
1

I hear you, but I have a follow up question. When a woman shit tests a man, she is being a little rebellious. If the man responds dominantly, her attraction towards him will increase. If she had never shit tested him though, her attraction toward him would have just stayed the same. As long as she is submissive, she never receives this kind of feedback. So my question is this. Can a women maximize her attraction by being submissive 99% of the time but occasionally shit testing (being rebellious)…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 02:45 AM
1

Maybe you would like this video then.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 02:28 AM
1

But if he changes based on her behavior, won't she recognize this as a sort of passive control over him, and therefore lose some attraction towards him?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 02:11 AM
3

I normally would agree with you but I'm going to play the devils' advocate. Take any trait that men and women differ on, and then take both ends to their extremes. One end will be considered masculine, and the other feminine. One end: Men love dirty, nasty, kinky sex. Other end: Women love vanilla, romantic sex with lots of foreplay, candles, and violin music. Of course these are stereotypes, women like kinky sex too...blah, blah, blah... When a man refuses to do a sex act, he is acting feminine…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 02:08 AM
3

Some of these actually sound kind of funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 01:52 AM
14

Anti-social behavior is an indication of high testosterone. If a woman can attract a man who is a loner, chances are she will have to expend less effort mate guarding. Lack of morality and empathy can be helpful for acquiring status, resources, and obliterating enemies. She absolutely feels like she can save him and nurture him back to mental health, although she might lose interest as a result. (I disagree that women don't have savior complexes) He is exciting. Excitement is confused with arous…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 01:40 AM
1

Nothing you wrote is inconsistent with what I wrote. In fact, I agree with you 100%.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 01:27 AM
-1

In a relationship, both people receive some benefit from the other person. You probably get feelings of security, intimacy, and companionship from your husband. He also is sexually desirable to you, based on your comment above. All of these benefits, in addition to ones I didn't list, contribute to your desire to be with him. This gives him a sort of power over you, because you do not want to lose him. You have power over him in the same way. The more desirable he is to you, the more power he ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 01:25 AM
-1

No where did I imply that the woman wasn't into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 12:56 AM
2

I'm exaggerating obviously...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 12:49 AM
1

You wouldn't find it arousing if your husband threw you into a compromising position before fucking you?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 12:48 AM
1

No, because I don't believe betas are doomed to always be betas.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 12:46 AM
1

Have you ever been madly in love with a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 11:52 PM
2

I like the way you explain things.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 11:47 PM
1

No. I specified that some men want to give the woman pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 11:46 PM
0

Rape and BDSM are two of the most popular sexual fantasies for women, yet every BP woman here likes her man to obtain signed consent before gently inserting his penis into her vagina and asking her permission before every thrust. I'm not buying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 11:40 PM
1

He wants to understand men who don't feel the same way he does.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 10:41 PM
1

Past experiences influence her behavior, but it has nothing to do with you. Rp guys on here are saying, "It's not fair. Women put out on the first date for that other guy, why not me?" Or "Women had anal with that other guy, why not me?" The answer is not that you were more beta than the last guy. It is just that you are beta period.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 10:29 PM
-1

Well that kind of makes sense since female orgasms retain sperm.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 10:10 PM
1

Yes. Why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 10:07 PM
0

Ok. But there are a lot of women who have rape and BDSM fantasies, so I think that it's not just me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 09:59 PM
1

I think by asking women questions in bed you are actually asking them, "Do you want to take control?" They will say no, not because they don't want to do that thing, but because they don't want to take control.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 09:57 PM
1

Well if a girl says no several times and struggles to get away, then clearly the man can't use the defense that he just misread her signals. He's showing an extreme indifference to her signals.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 09:54 PM
2

A little yeah. But if he was alpha enough she would still have anal with him even if she had a bad experience with it in the past. Also you don't know if her past experiences were negative or positive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 09:45 PM
0

I know I should give you the benefit of the doubt but it's frustrating when I thought exactly like you did two weeks ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 09:43 PM
4

Will you be my RPW mentor?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 09:39 PM
1

Poor socialization and ability to read obvious signals is not an excuse for sexual misconduct. I think it is in some cases. Many people don't intend to murder. Was reading about a camp counselor crying after receiving a jail time for forcing a kid to sit in the hot sun despite obvious signs kid was suffering from heat stroke. the counselor is still responsible for that kids death. When there is no intent to murder, then isn't it called manslaughter? Even if you find someone attractive doesn't me…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 09:30 PM
5

You are imagining a beta man demean you, that's why it's off putting.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 09:24 PM
0

Imagine him asking you what position you like instead of just putting you into some demeaning position that he likes. You wouldn't like the second case more?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 09:05 PM
0

Yeah I agree actually. There is nothing more unattractive than a beta trying to be alpha. It's better if he just stays beta.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 09:00 PM
-2

See my edit above. Also in order to rape you he actually has to intend to rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 08:48 PM
1

Agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 08:44 PM
1

Do I make it clear to him that I want him to stop? Edit: Reread your comment and it seems like you are saying I did. Then yes, I would call this rape. He wasn't high value enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 08:43 PM
14

Men do not require commitment from the woman in order to benefit from having sex with her. He can just fuck her and leave. The only reason he would care if she enjoyed it or not is if he wanted to keep fucking her in the future. Some guys don't care though. Their ape brain knows they can impregnate her regardless if she enjoys it or not. Women actually are aroused by this. They don't like guys who pester, but they like it when men just take it without giving a fuck about her feelings. Nothing tu…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 08:16 PM
1

I broke the rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:58 PM
3

If she was a slut in the past, then assume she is a slut now. But if she isn't having kinky sex with you it's because you are too beta. That's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:47 PM
3

Sounds like a good plan of you use your retirement to further invest in yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:43 PM
2

I had a issue in my relationship and went to /r/relationships to ask for advice. They treated me like I was a victim and acted like my boyfriend was a bad guy just for making one mistake the whole time we've been together. This pissed me off so I went to RPW. They gave me some good advice but then banned me so I came here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:41 PM
1

I don't get your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:19 PM
2

I am probably just zealous because I am a recent convert.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:17 PM
3

Yeah. I've lived off less. That's about my income right now actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:16 PM
1

for rpw women, are you actively looking to drop out of the work force once you get married or have kids? No, my boyfriend and I don't want kids. do you have an escape plan yet? like savings, passive income, business idea, etc? No, we have debt but no savings. I have an income. how much money do you think you need to live comfortably? per month after taxes. 1.5K. For the last two questions I never plan to stop working nor do I want to stop working.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:11 PM
1

You probably just have to keep pestering her about it like he did.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:57 PM
2

I sort of agree with this, but I think that even if the girl was a religious virgin she will still slut it up for you if you are high value enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:53 PM
2

You can still be attracted to him. The boundaries of what you are willing to do expands along with his attractiveness though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:52 PM
1

I don't prefer ultra-Chads. I like AB's. I probably lean more towards the beta side actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:47 PM
6

The women who occupy the middle ground lie and say they've only done it once and didn't like it. This way they tell something that's partially true without having to get into a big long explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:36 PM
2

Ok...do you agree with my point then?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:33 PM
3

What's left for their future husbands? What new frontier will they explore together? You could always step it up a notch. Bring in a donkey or midget.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:26 PM
3

So at this point you would assume her past boyfriend was an alpha because she had anal with him but not you?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:23 PM
3

Pick something else then. Threesomes maybe.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:15 PM
4

How does the conversation go? You: Have you ever tried anal? Her: Yes with my past boyfriend. I loved it. You: Want to do it with me? Her: No. I can't imagine this conversation really occurring. Even if it is completely true, she's just going to make up some lie about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:15 PM
1

Her current behavior reveals her thoughts about you. She doesn't find you deserving of her sexuality, because you are a beta. That's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:12 PM
3

My last comment: OP assumes that when men have power over women, they will use it to take advantage of her. My initial comment: The man will inevitably take advantage of his power. My last comment: OP assumes that women are victims that can't make their own decisions My initial comment: You don't truly believe that the woman can make her own choices, or recognize if she is in a bad situation and get out.... BP tells women they are victims. My last comment: OP is being sexist. My initial comment:…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:04 PM
2

The first. I can't imagine a woman saying the second to be honest. But you tell me. How does the topic even come up? How do you even know she had anal with her ex?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:00 PM
2

This is the correct attitude I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:58 PM
3

Because sometimes giving in is easier than constant bickering.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:57 PM
1

Her past sexual behavior reveals her character, but that's not what I'm talking about here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:54 PM
3

You don't know the difference between the two. It's not like she is going to tell you that she eagerly offered up anal to her ex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:52 PM
2

She was raped. I mean really raped, not "I had sex with an unattractive man" or "I had drunk sex that I now regret" or "I will claim I was raped because I cheated on my husband with a hot guy". Well this is a rare situation, but only further supports my point. She had a lot of good sex with hot men before, which has more or less upped her taste for those hot men. She wouldn't have developed that viewpoint of men without her prior experiences and she might have been able to have been attracted to…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:51 PM
3

She refuses anal because she doesn't like it, not because of the value of the man she's with. But this could be true even if she did it in the past. It doesn't necessarily mean that she liked it just because she did it with a past boyfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:48 PM
3

I don't know what you mean. I've repeated the same thing this whole comment chain. OP assumes that when men have power over women, they will use it to take advantage of her. OP assumes that women are victims that can't make their own decisions. OP is being sexist.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:45 PM
1

The exact act doesn't matter. I was just using anal as an example.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:43 PM
1

If she eagerly did it to make her high value ex stay but doesn't do it with you because she either doesn't care about you leaving or being unsatisfied. But it is just as likely that she did it reluctantly because he was constantly pestering her about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:42 PM
3

the common joke i see is actually that women are terrible drivers But this is sexist, just like OP is being sexist.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:37 PM
3

This is what I essentially am trying to do. I want to figure a way for women to generate their own attraction so they can stay with their beta men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:36 PM
1

These men are rare. It's not practical to next a guy when the next one will likely be the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:33 PM
33

Men show more explicit racism, but women are more implicitly racist. The appearance of men being more racist is probably due to women being more sensitive to social taboos, so they don't voice their racism as often as men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:05 PM
5

Imagine this situation: a husband tells his guy buddies that he let's his wife drive him everywhere. Buddies: Do you tell her where to go? Husband: No, she knows where to go. Buddies: What if she picks the long way? Husband: We'll still get there eventually. Buddies: What if she runs a red light or speeds or drives off the road? Husband: If she was that bad a driver, then I wouldn't let her drive me everywhere. Maybe she will make a mistake occasionally, but that's normal. Buddies: Well why can'…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 04:54 PM
4

I think it's worse than that. It's not just a bias against RP men, it's a bias against men in general. Whenever a man has power over a woman, BP will assume he will use this power to take advantage of her.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 04:36 PM
5

Right, but none of that would have been assumed for a female led relationship. It even seems alien reading it because we are so accustomed to women being the victim and men being the abuser.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 04:05 PM
10

Do you not see how OP is assuming that the woman will be victimized in this situation and the man is assumed to be an abuser? Do you really think that if the situation was reversed that OP would assume the man was a victim and the woman was an abuser?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 03:44 PM
6

I would say that everyone wants power, but no one wants to be a leader, men or women. Men will step up to the plate though more than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 03:36 PM
1

Of course, you wouldn't here it from women because people do not like to admit to such things. Or because they actually believe what they are saying whether it is true or not. Trp links numerous examples over on sex or two x of women in a state of confusion over their attraction to men who on paper they shouldn't find attractive. Because BP tells them that they are attracted to nice, loving, compatible guys so when they find themselves attracted to a dominant man they don't understand why. In my…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 03:32 PM
15

I have never seen BP object to this dynamic when it is female led. No one says 'But what if the woman takes advantage of the poor guy?' The reason is because BP believes men have agency but women don't. You don't truly believe that the woman can make her own choices, or recognize if she is in a bad situation and get out. When put in a position of vulnerability, she will inevitably become a victim in your view. The man will inevitably take advantage of his power. BP tells women they are victims. …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 03:13 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 02:57 PM
1

That's bullshit, there are plenty of women that have settled they bullshit themselves by mentally playing up the mans other qualities; provider, good with kids etc. Women believe their own hamster. Whenever I hear this perspective, it's always from men, never women. And I'm not saying that the man has let himself go. He might be identical or even better than how he was at the beginning of the relationship. The fact of the matter is, women's attraction fades over time. I'm asking how to either pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 08:27 AM
2

Even if submission causes a man to display more captain traits, it will not increase her attraction to him. It shows a woman that she can passively control him, also called topping from the bottom. I have seen this from my experience. Compliance increases his demands and he expects obedience, but it does not increase attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 08:17 AM
2

Your personal experience isn't the only one. Yours is the male perspective. Mine is the female one. Women don't believe they are marrying men they aren't attracted to. From the sounds of it, what you are describing is men that more became beta over time, complacency and routine will kill excitement and motivation to stay in top-top form. What can a woman do to counteract this?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:59 AM
3

I've said this several times now, an alpha doesn't have to force anything. She will do it willingly. An alpha doesn't necesssrily cheat, but she is more likely to forgive him if he does.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:57 AM
2

If relationships has taught me anything, they were never attracted in the first place many times, they just put out(but not to the same level quality to chads mind you) until he was hooked then not coincidentally the frequency/quality drops after marriage. In my personal experience this is not true. The attraction is very intense in the beginning, but drops off over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:52 AM
2

I'm not asking how to find a captain. I'm asking if women can change their own attraction. I actually think that you would benefit much more if you ask your questions directly on RPW subreddit. That place is more for women who are already red. It's not a great place for women undergoing the transition, because they are intolerant of any remnants of BP thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:38 AM
1

This might be your way of dealing with psychological stress, sort of how people make jokes about cancer to make it seem less threatening. For a time I wondered if women fantasizing about rape might serve a similar purpose.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 07:33 AM
1

Why would anyone want a man like that? You are so in love with him that you don't think he is making you do anything. You are eager to please. Being this in love is generally a pleasant feeling. And "beta males" have no muscles, no status, no abilities to acquire resources? Some, but not enough to elevate them from beta to alpha.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:49 AM
1

Why are we talking objectivity if only her perception matters? Suppose her husband fails one too many shit tests or gets drunk an acts like an idiot one too many times. A woman finds herself no longer attracted to her husband. Perhaps he is still objectively better, it doesn't matter. She sees him as weak and beta. Can she change her attraction to him? Is her only option to next him at that point, or can she save her marriage?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:24 AM
3

Think of that as just an extreme case. To be alpha he only needs to have significantly more power than her.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:17 AM
1

Why do so many women lose attraction to their beta husbands and then either divorce, cheat, or dead bedroom him? Perhaps he actually is objectively better than her, but not enough for her to be attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 06:14 AM
1

You don't want your man to have even a little bit of power. No muscles? No status? No ability to acquire resources?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:56 AM
3

That is not what I meant by alpha. Cheating isn't alpha, but an alpha is more likely to be able to cheat and the woman forgive him. He is providing so much value, that she will overlook his cheating. He also doesn't have to pester for anal. She will give it to him willingly. Only betas pester for anal. Alphas don't have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:55 AM
3

You don't want an AB?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 05:45 AM
4

Alpha is having the power to get what you want. Beta is the willingness to share what you have. In the context of a relationship, an alpha is a man who has significantly more power than the woman. He can make her do whatever he wants. She will give him anal. She will put up with his cheating. She will work hard to please him in order to keep his commitment. Not only will she do these things, but she is happy to do them. An alpha can also be a beta if he is willing to share what he has with his w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 02:40 AM
1

I don't know, but I would have suspected that feminist countries would have done better. I especially wouldn't have expected a feminist country to be at the very bottom of the list.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 01:58 AM
1

Countries with lower rates of associating science with a male profession have higher percentages of female scientists (or visa versa). It's not the weaker the stereotypes, the more women in science. It's the more women in science, the weaker the stereotypes. How are you defining "feminist countries" Iceland, Finland, Sweden, Norway, New Zealand, UK, Canada, USA, Netherlands, Australia Now here are the top ten countries with the highest percentage of science majors. Iran, Albania, Romania, Trinid…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 05:24 PM
1

The blame lies on whoever commits the action in question. In this case it would be the woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 07:16 AM
1

Women shit test for two reasons. If you are beta, it's because she wants to display her power over you. If you are alpha, it's because she wants you to display your power over her.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 06:02 AM
1

I don't know who you are and I'd rather not discuss my personal life with someone who went through my post history to dig up stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 04:24 AM
1

I would say the current environment is not responsive to women. It doesn't punish them for bad behavior and rewards them even if they didn't do anything good.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 04:21 AM
1

http://d-miller.github.io/Stereotypes-Table/ The table is at the bottom of the page called Global Gender-Science Stereotypes. You can click on the column headers to sort by the percentage of researchers or science majors who are women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 04:20 AM
1

It wasn't generating much productive discussion, so I won't bother revising it for reapproval. Can you tell me what was ranty about it though so I can avoid it in the future?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 01:17 AM
1

Why is female STEM participation even lower in feminist countries?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 01:04 AM
1

Women get validation from beta orbiters. You said they only want validation from alphas. That's not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 01:01 AM
1

If it doesn't apply to you then just don't worry about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 12:55 AM
1

Most rewards aren't consistently given and have diminishing returns. What was your point with all this?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 12:50 AM
1

Since when does feminism tell women to work harder? You are also grossly mischaracterizing RPW.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 12:46 AM
1

I know there are real arguments against TRP. But BP women are bascially here because men said some mean things about women online. They even say as much. They say "We wouldn't object to RP if it wasn't for all the women hate."
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/16 12:43 AM
0

Feminism: You aren't successful in your field because of long established gender stereotypes that prevent women from breaking free from their role. RP: You aren't successful because you don't work hard enough. Which one of these is more likely to produce action on the part of the women that will actually help her become more successful?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 11:31 PM
0

This seems a little vague. Can you be more specific? RP is against laws that coddle women, like Yes Means Yes and the Duluth model. They are against the shaming or silencing of men that speak poorly of women. They are against marriage, which fosters women's financial dependency. They accept women how they really are, instead of feminists who try to cover up women's true nature out of shame. There is probably more, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head. I realize that they do this …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 11:26 PM
1

That is literally the opposite of everything I was advocating in my post. My post: Women should stop depending on men, especially for validation. You: Wrong. Women shouldn't strive for male approval. Me: Huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 11:09 PM
0

I disagree. Beta orbiters aren't Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 10:48 PM
1

RP stops giving free hand outs to women, which is required in order for women to stop being dependent on men. A lot of RP claims are due to the reality of the system as it currently stands. Women are children, because right now women are acting like children. It doesn't mean that RP is in favor of the current system, I think we all know that this isn't the case. They are just responding to the way things are.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 10:44 PM
1

Exactly. Thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 10:33 PM
1

I don't actually, can you explain?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 10:32 PM
0

Nothing I said was even that different than what feminists say. They just blame society and the patriarchy and I put the responsibility back on women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 10:31 PM
1

Fair enough. I'm just offering an alternative to women who are tired of dependency and victim-hood.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 10:29 PM
1

I don't know that much yet. I haven't been RP long enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 10:26 PM
0

This is such a cheap cop out.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 10:22 PM
1

You really think that the majority of women out there would respond any differently?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 10:20 PM
1

Which one of my sentences is incoherent? I'd be happy to elaborate.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 10:12 PM
2

When he wasn't willing to work with me or when he agreed and then later went back to his old behavior it just made me resent him.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 06:02 AM
1

No. The temptation is still there, but I'm replacing that line of thinking with what I've been describing in this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 05:58 AM
2

If it got to that point, I wouldn't leave him without attempting multiple ways to solve the problem first. But this whole thing is to prevent something like you described from happening at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 05:52 AM
3

It is the repeatedly reminding him to do something that causes problems for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 05:32 AM
1

I didn't have a clear idea in my head what equality would look like. I just wanted to feel like I was getting out as much as I was putting in.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 05:02 AM
1

We have been together 4 years. I've only been RP for a month.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 04:50 AM
1

I agree with all of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 04:09 AM
1

Has your outward behavior changed since this realization? Check back with me in a few weeks. This is still a very recent discovery. What exactly do you think you felt entitled to? An equal relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 03:16 AM
6

My boyfriend cares about me and does lots of stuff to show me that he loves me. However, it's not always how I want him to show love. Maybe he likes buying me presents, but I'd rather just him do the dishes. So he just gave me a thoughtful gift, and I'm still mad about the dishes. I will think 'My boyfriend doesn't care about me. He never does the dishes.' when he literally was just showing that he cared about me. Because it wasn't specifically what I wanted, I was ungrateful and didn't apprecia…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 01:33 AM
1

Shit, sorry. I think I linked the paper in my original thread but then forgot to in this one. Here it is. In most fields, you'll find that both the top performers and bottom performers are men, whereas women tend to reside in the middle. Same deal with altruism too I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 01:16 AM
5

I don't see a problem with this then. If you ask once and he or she just forgot or something then it's no big deal. But if I was your husband... "MissMaude, my dear kitten, I noticed that you did not pay the electric bill this month. It made me think, why should you always have to pay the bill? How about I get it this time." Next month if you didn't pay... "MissMaude, I'm going to set up a joint bank account that automatically charges all of our shared reoccurring bills. This will make life so m…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 12:57 AM
3

and it's odd to be downvoted or met with sarcasm for what I perceived to be honest intentions from my part. I appreciated your comment and thought it was interesting. I'm not sure why someone would downvote you but I upvoted it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 12:39 AM
2

I don't like captain and first mate dynamic because it's just another excuse for women to deny agency and responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 12:37 AM
4

What comes next in your script? He asks you to pay and then what happens? Do you do it?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/16 12:32 AM
3

That's my decision. Maybe I am OK with only giving and never receiving. Maybe I have all of my needs taken care of, and I just want to share my good fortune like Bill Gates. If I'm not receiving what I want from the relationship, then I can leave any time I want. This is the exact same advice that BP gives Nice Guys. They tell them 1. Stop expecting stuff for being nice, 2. If you are actually nice then you would just enjoy being nice for it's own sake. 3. If you don't want to do a favor for som…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 11:57 PM
7

What are you getting at here? If what you are doing works, then I'd like to hear about it. I'm not closed off to other approaches. Also I'm not sharing this to proselytize for RP. I want to help other women who might have similar problems, or at least offer another alternative. Maybe this whole thing is just unique to my relationships. Whenever I've voiced my complaints in the past, it only ever worked to change his behavior temporarily. Usually I wouldn't even say anything though. I would just …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 11:07 PM
4

Overt contracts are fine, but if he starts breaking them, then you should just abolish the contract. If you want the dishes done, then you do them. Not for him. For you. Because you wanted to. Also people really don't have that much agency. Even experts in psychology still can't talk their way into changing people's behavior consistently. Even if the person themselves want to change, they can't always do it. In my opinion, it's unfair to expect someone to change their long establish habits using…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 10:59 PM
5

Is he just being lazy? I'd probably start getting increasingly nagging. I'm not a Nazi about it, but I do expect that he does his share of housework. Does this ever happen or his he consistent about doing the dishes?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 10:48 PM
1

Look, I appreciate you assuming the best about me, but I wish you would stop. I am very prone to victim mentality. Even relatively benign comments like these feed my inner martyr. I have only recently been able to shed this complex in the past week. I am not in any way shape or form in a parasitic relationship. I was the entitled selfish one. My boyfriends were accepting the things I gave them because I pretended like it was a present. I acted like I was being generous, so they had no way of kno…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 10:44 PM
4

Even more reason to throw the whole idea of fairness out.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 10:28 PM
1

I don't know if this post is helpful to men or not, because I don't know how much men engage in score-keeping or victim mentality. Perhaps the 33% is a good heuristic, because it forces you to make decisions about what you really want to do, and what you are doing out of obligation. Also, if you are only doing 33%, then you can't possibly hamster your way into martyr status. It keeps you from having a victim mentality. However, I wouldn't do this because only giving 33% would force me to keep tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 10:26 PM
3

My advice tells you how to not be a doormat. Here's an illustration of my point. Bill Gates gives millions of dollars to help kids in Africa. They don't give him anything in return. Is Bill Gates a doormat? No, because he didn't expect anything in return. He just gave because he wanted to. Bill Jones doesn't give a dime to the kids in Africa. Is this Bill a doormat? No. He didn't want to give anything and he didn't. Bill Smith gives money to kids in Africa, hoping they'll give him something in r…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 10:12 PM
2

What would you do if he got lazy and stopped doing the dishes for a week?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 09:52 PM
1

What happened in your past 5 relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 09:45 PM
1

I think it's funny how some of them are still trying to make me out to be a victim.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 09:43 PM
2

Thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 09:25 PM
2

I was mostly thinking about my past relationships. I've been doing much better with my current boyfriend and noticing what he does for me. I can list the things he does if you'd like. He drives to pick me up when the weather is bad so I don't have to be cold or walk in the rain. Whenever I am too lazy to do the dishes and cook, he takes me out to eat instead. He keeps me company whenever I run boring errands. He plays with my hair. I really love this. He buys me flowers randomly. He tells me I'm…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 09:20 PM
6

Yeah how many 'I get to choose the movie' equals 'I visit with your relatives on holidays'. The whole system fights against any sort of objective fairness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 09:06 PM
4

Not a literal score-card, no. Just when I would do something for him that I didn't want to do, I would start remembering all the things I did for him in the past. Then I would try and remember stuff he did for me (without much effort) and wouldn't be able to. Then I would start fuming in my head about how unfair our relationship was. I should have just not done the thing if I didn't want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 09:00 PM
1

Not as much as women. Besides, men aren't allowed to be the victim, even when they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:56 PM
1

On balance, I would say people enjoy being the victim. Maybe. But I give men a free past because they've been forced to be the bad guy for so long. Let them be the victim for awhile if they want. Women need to learn what it feels like to be forced to be the bad guy anyways. I think it will be good for us. It's just that men are not allowed to and women are that women become the way you describe. Agree with this obviously. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's biology... Probably, but not even biology …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:54 PM
3

Thanks for the recommendation. I've heard a lot of good things about that book.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:48 PM
3

I'm starting to think more and more than any talk of "fairness" really is some form of entitlement. Life simply isn't fair, so its unrealistic to expect people to always be "fair" to each other. I completely agree with this. Of course, that means both parties have to be invested in that outcome. I think only one person is required. That's the great thing about it. It is completely under your control. You don't need anything from the other person.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:48 PM
3

I don't remember, because I never kept track of the things he did for me. The game was rigged so that he was guaranteed to lose.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:44 PM
2

i didn't interpret any of the posts in the other thread from non-red women as having scorecards or doing what you've described, so this sounds like a 'you' problem. they simply established that they have some basic standards and expectations for a partner in a relationship (like everyone else). do you have no standards or expectations of your partner whatsoever? because if you do, then it's silly to object when others have the same. I never explicitly thought I was keeping a scorecard, I just th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:42 PM
0

I think it is the same dynamic as in briffaults law, or the general/underlying problem with covert contracts. I don't know if I agree with Briffault's law, because I think women enjoy being the victim so much that they will stay in an 'one-sided' relationship just so they can continue being a victim. That's the problem with "equal" relationships, I am all for fair relationships, but equal ones are just crazy. By equal, people mean fair, and I don't even think they should be fair. On a side note:…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:25 PM
1

OK done, should I delete this thread or are you going to do it?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:13 PM
1

Ok, thanks. Sorry for not following the rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:10 PM
1

I mostly agree, but telling women this isn't helpful. Maybe it is helpful for men to hear. I don't know. If you tell a woman that, she will just reject it and stop listening to everything you say afterwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:08 PM
1

I think it is the same dynamic as in briffaults law, or the general/underlying problem with covert contracts. I don't know if I agree with Briffault's law, because I think women enjoy being the victim so much that they will stay in an 'one-sided' relationship just so they can continue being a victim. That's the problem with "equal" relationships, I am all for fair relationships, but equal ones are just crazy. I don't even think they should be fair. On a side note: I think I just had an epiphany …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:07 PM
1

It's always my decision to stay or leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:00 PM
1

How does your study relate to my thread? Read in between the lines , you are proving TRP down to a point. Women like selfish alpha asshole That's something entirely different. I didn't like my boyfriend in this case. I resented him. Here you have it, from a woman's own mouth, she would rather do kinky shit with a guy who doesn't give a shit. Look I am RP, and I agree with TRP except when they go BP. My thread has nothing to do with women liking alpha jerks. That's about sexual attraction. My thr…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 07:59 PM
1

Women feel powerless because they are constantly victimizing themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 02:51 AM
9

Has that really ever worked for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 12:33 AM
13

It works, then two weeks later you will have to remind him again. And you know what people call continually reminding him to change his behavior? Nagging.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 12:24 AM
11

She isn't being selfless. She is only giving because she expects something back. When Nice guys do this, BP calls them entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 12:20 AM
3

you're doing it so that he can use this information to decide whether or not to do it again. while the outcome could be that he either does do it or doesn't do it, you're still expecting one of those things (based on the way it was worded). Then maybe I should just leave that part out completely. I worded it that way because I wanted to emphasize that this was completely under his control. Anything you do should not be used to try and control his behavior. i think this kind of thought only appli…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 11:42 PM
3

I was thinking there was something wrong with me for so long. I never understood why talking didn't work until I turned RP.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 11:37 PM
10

You mean selflessness on his part, not hers.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 11:35 PM
12

What can I say. I tried this for most of my life and it never worked for me. I would get frustrated because my boyfriend would change initially, but then he'd go right back to the way he was before. Resentment built up over time, and I ended up losing all attraction to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 11:33 PM
5

There are no subtle hints here. You are not showing appreciation with the expectation that he will ever do it again. You show appreciation so that he can decide whether or not to do it again. From your perspective, it should just be a communication of gratitude. And this shouldn't be subtle. Be obvious about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 11:30 PM
10

This is essentially identical to my advice above, besides the silly straw mans. Men just don't tend to see relationships as tit-for-tat like women do, so they don't focus on that aspect as much. Look. Notice no TRP man is told to be more loving, affectionate, and kind towards his wife. He can reward her good behavior with affection. (Different mindset than women, but men don't fall into the exchange of services trap.) He is also instructed to do this if she is comfort testing. He is told to lift…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 11:19 PM
7

Maybe you've discovered a secret to communication that I'm not aware of. This could very well be. I have never found direct communication to be effective. Maybe I just suck at it. This is just what worked for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 11:02 PM
8

the two bolded sentences are the essentially the same idea in different words. The mindset is completely different. When you accept a gift, do you express gratitude because you want to receive more gifts in the future from that person? Or do you express gratitude because you are actually grateful. You want the giver to know you appreciate it. They decide whether or not to give again in the future. You don't carry this expectation. There is a pretty big difference in my opinion. well then it soun…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 10:57 PM
12

She doesn't get to decide when and how he chooses to show his love. just like he doesn't get to decide when and how she chooses to show her love. If she later decides that he is adding nothing of value to her life, then she can decide to leave. But I think she should fix her problems first.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 10:51 PM
9

What part of this was bordering on people training? The only thing that possibly could be construed as 'training' is showing gratitude when he does something nice. But this is not rewarding him for good behavior. It's communicating that you appreciated his gift so that he can use this information to decide whether or not to do it again. AKA, how i ended up in an abusive relationship. This is part of the 'take responsibility for your own happiness', 'don't depend on him for anything', and 'decide…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 10:46 PM
13

I am not completely against direct communication of complaints under certain situations, but in my experience it rarely works as a long term solution. He will do the things you want for awhile, but then go back to his old habits. If there was no motivation to do those things before, then there will be no motivation after your conversation has been forgotten. Also, it is still fostering her tit-for-tat attitude. She is giving with the expectation of receiving. Even if he complies with her request…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 10:41 PM
19

There is no bad behavior on his part, because he is not required to give her anything. She is not required to give him anything either. Right now she is giving and expecting something in return. She wants the relationship to be a fair exchange of goods and services, rather than two people giving out of love and generosity. You think this is a good way to have a healthy relationship? I'm telling her that if she can't give out of love, then just don't give at all. Instead, invest that energy into …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 10:06 PM
36

Do not let the idea of fairness even enter your head. You will drive yourself crazy trying to make things equal. You are different people, and will require different things. Do not do things for him unless you actually want to. Favors, anniversaries, and birthdays are something you use to express your love for him. They are gifts. So give without expecting anything in return. Take charge of your own happiness. Foster your own independence and be responsible for your own well being. Do not depend…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 09:43 PM
1

I did this. My boyfriend was hanging around another girl and I was jealous. Then I started making comments to him about her questionable dating habits which was basically just thinnly veiled slut shaming. I guess I was trying to lower her value in his eyes so he wouldn't leave me for her or sleep with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/16 10:36 AM
1

I made it sound worse than it really is. Without getting into all the details, I can promise you that it's nothing that anyone would raise even the tiniest of eyebrows at.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/16 09:42 AM
5

You are such a wise lady. I really respect you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/16 03:50 AM
0

Female shit test: Tests for dominance and holding masculine frame. Male shit test: Tests for submission and holding feminine frame.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/16 01:19 AM
1

My boyfriend shit tests me all the time. He will ask me to do something unreasonable that he knows is unreasonable to see if I'll be obedient. If I do it with out complaint, I passed the shit test. If I complain or question his order, then I failed the shit test and he will withdraw affection.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/16 07:55 PM
1

He's going to think I'm crazy for bringing this up so many times and back tracking. I think I've lost all hope that I can still fix this through communication. Would some version of dread game work? You mentioned self improvement in another part of the thread. What if I just worked on myself for awhile and stopped seeking validation or emotional support from him entirely?
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 10:18 PM
3

This is devastating, but I think you are right. I sensed that I wasn't going to get the reaction I wanted, (him validating my feelings and taking steps to correct the situation) so I back-tracked to recover lost ground. Every fiber of me is fighting to accept this. I don't want to believe this about my boyfriend. You need to up your self-esteem, which is obvious by the types of men you pick. Work on yourself, work out, dress better, take some classes where you can complete some projects and feel…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 10:00 PM
2

First, you fear confrontation. Bringing up negative feelings is never going to be made easy. But you can't make yourself like it, really. Yes this is definitely part of it. The feeling is so unbearable to me that I will do anything to make it go away. I need to be able to sit comfortably with negative feelings. I need to have patience instead of trying to make them go away immediately. I think it might actually be a problem of delayed gratification. I am unwilling to be uncomfortable now, to rec…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 09:38 PM
4

You will drive yourself crazy trying to be the "cool" girlfriend that acts like it's no big deal while it kills you inside. Yeah this is me, damnit. I still need to fix my problem however. Even if I break up with him, I'm just going to do it again with the next boyfriend. He is actually more considerate than most, which is why I really liked him in the first place. I didn't have to worry about expressing my feelings or needs, because he naturally took them into account without me having to tell …
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 08:36 PM
1

Breaking up with him won't fix anything, because it is fundamentally my problem not his. I don't feel comfortable expressing my feelings to anyone. I don't know how to communicate in a way that improves the situation rather than making it worse. Obviously, not communicating at all isn't ideal, but it seems to be the lesser of the two evils.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 08:28 PM
1

Because I don't know if they are valid or not. When I bring up the topic, he lists a bunch of reasons why I shouldn't feel this way: he only loves me, he only sees her as a sister, they hang out in groups, I'm always invited to come along, he's not even attracted to her, etc... So I think, maybe I am overreacting. Maybe I really am just upset about work or something else, and I'm just taking it out on this one small thing. I don't trust my own emotions.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 08:04 PM
2

He has been completely honest with me about his behavior. If he was hiding something or doing something wrong, why would he tell me every time he hangs out with her? He also hasn't made a habit of consistently disregarding my feelings in the past. Sometimes it happens, but it's far from every time. He is more considerate than any other boyfriend I've had. Given that I have a hard time standing behind my needs, I feel lucky to have someone who is considerate as him. There are many good reasons no…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 07:54 PM
2

I am so afraid of being naggy that I usually don't express my feelings at all. I don't ask anything of him, or tell him how I feel ever. This time I thought that I might try communicating my feelings gently, because this is what everyone says to do. I think I did a pretty good job of not being accusatory or dramatic. I was calm and focused on my feelings rather than his behavior. However, instead of feeling better I felt worse, because now not only did I feel bad, but so did my boyfriend. I'm st…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 07:07 PM
1

Here's how the conversation goes when I've brought this up. Me: "I am feeling a little jealous of all the time you spend with Jessica. I trust you and I'm not accusing you of doing anything wrong, but I wanted you to know how I feel about this." Him: "I love you and you alone. You are the only girl for me. You don't have to be jealous, I don't look at her in that way. She's like a little sister. We don't even hang out alone very often. It's almost always with a group of people. And I even invite…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 06:56 PM
4

Even if I break up with him, which I don't think is warranted given that he has been completely honest with me about everything, it won't solve my larger problem of not being able to communicate effectively. I don't even know how the whole 'communication' process is supposed to look like. How is it supposed to help things? I can't believe that it's been every single boyfriend's problem. It has to be my problem. I'm doing something wrong, but I don't know what.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 06:38 PM
1

Do you think that it is an issue that he routinely prioritises this woman over you? I don't know. This is all from my perspective. According to him, he's just hanging out with a work friend. I'm welcome to come along any time I'd like. If I choose not to, then that's my decision. What specifically do you need help communicating? I guess I thought that merely communicating my feelings about this would somehow fix things, but it didn't. This might be due to me saying "Forget it, I was just overrea…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 10:22 AM
1

We've been together 4 years. And I guess you read my post on /r/relationships so I won't repeat everything here. But I don't believe their relationship is anything more than an innocent crush. I'm pretty sure about this, because he hasn't tried to hide anything or lie to me at all. The only reason I even know they were hanging out is because he told me. I don't want to punish his honesty by giving him some kind of order to stop seeing her. I like that he trusts me enough to tell me everything, a…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/15 09:12 AM
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