| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | Woman translates the real meanings behind men’s dating demands. Just a reminder that men defined ‘femininity’ as submission, passivity, performance & endless forgiveness because it serves abusive men & makes us easier to exploit.I get this a lot. Physically, I guess I come across as more feminine because I love makeup and fashion and whatever but I’m definitely not submissive. It seems like guys get super frustrated with me for it. It makes me feel like I’m not attractive to men but I have to remember that it’s actually a strength that I’m strong enough to repel the LVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/21 05:56 AM |
| 5 | Woman translates the real meanings behind men’s dating demands. Just a reminder that men defined ‘femininity’ as submission, passivity, performance & endless forgiveness because it serves abusive men & makes us easier to exploit.Agreed. I have a lot of internal conflict about having “feminine” or “masculine” energy. I feel like I’m a defunct woman because I have more “masculine energy” but it frustrates me to no end that I’d be a “better” and “correct” women if I was LESS confident and LESS organized and LESS assertive and MORE passive and MORE codependent and MORE flighty and LESS successful and LESS intelligent. Like why would I EVER aspire to be like that? Why do men say it’s difficult to love “masculine” women? Beca… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/21 05:54 AM |
| 7 | Guy seemed like a HVM, wanted to pursue me, but then goes on vacation and returns more distant. How should we handle these situations?I liked the guy and everything seemed HV at first. He was pursuing dates and paying and seemed clear on his intentions. He was respectful and seemed mature and able to provide. He said he wanted to get together to celebrate a small work achievement after he returned from a vacation. Once he returned, he was more distant. I waited for him to make plans to celebrate but nothing happened after a few days upon his return. I was feeling anxious so I just wanted to cut to the chase, and I’m glad I did… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 02:52 PM |
| 8 | Boundaries with male friends and pickmes not having anyI cannot understand how women defend this, I often feel like I’m in the twilight zone. I honestly think these women are incapable of accepting that the fairy tale myth they learned from Disney is a myth. When I found FDS, it was mind blowing to me that it wasn’t ME that was the problem with men, and that it was ok to NOT excuse their BS. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 02:35 PM |
| 4 | What are your personal pickme horror stories from hell?Oh dear. My ex WOULDNT pay for my birthday dinner and made me pay, and then when his birthday rolled around, I paid for a full birthday dinner for him of all of his favorites. And then later he wanted to get sushi for his birthday the next day. So we split the cost. And then he complains to me a few days later that I didn’t pay for his birthday dinner and it made him feel like I don’t care about him, so i venmoed him $65 for the food. 🤡 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/21 01:35 PM |
| 55 | 100%Do you have a video or interview with the quotes?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/08/21 06:42 PM |
| 305 | Men benefit from women romanticizing marriage through the lens of unconditional loveMost men don’t “love” their woman. They “love” what the woman does for them. Notice how men usually talk about love when they describe all the things the woman does for them. And it’s always in a patronizing, infantilizing way. The women that men “love” are the same women that men do not respect. They love their wifey pickme wife but they will cheat on her, let he do every single chore without any remorse, etc. They KNOW that the girl will stay and do anything no matter how she’s treated, so the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/08/21 01:18 PM |
| 460 | Oh look, a message! This was a lightbulb moment for me. This explains some of the hate men direct towards attractive women who reject them.Men want to feel needed yet don’t want women to be “needy.” They want a pet. They want us to be solely reliant on them but to only expect the bare minimum. No, not just expect, be thrilled for the bare minimum. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/21 03:26 PM |
| 94 | I’m so jaded and cynical. I want to find this sweet but part of me feels uncomfortable knowing the amount of time he had to spend with a bunch of underage girls to make this. Also, IT guys are notoriously creepyI think it’s super sweet. All of the dancing was just him on his own, no weird contact with anyone. I wouldn’t assume just because IT he’s bad. I think this was pretty high effort, I would LOVE a flash mob proposal tbh haha. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/21 03:19 PM |
| 82 | This is why I don't scroll through libfem subs. They always have to put other women down for wanting a special moment to be special.Just label anything that benefits men as “empowering” : splitting the check, casual sex, porn, threesomes, dating down because “we’re not shallow” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/21 07:10 PM |
| 135 | This is why I don't scroll through libfem subs. They always have to put other women down for wanting a special moment to be special.Libfeminism is just the patriarchy with extra steps | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/21 07:04 PM |
| 533 | It was too good to be true.This was all clearly a publicity stunt. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/21 02:04 PM |
| 17 | Other Women Demanding Performative Femininity from YouThe performance femininity also drives me crazy. The women that I know that are super “feminine” aren’t even that feminine, it’s all an act because they want male attention. My ex friend acted like the perfect feminine, submissive, nurturing woman. But she would drink and basically spill her true insecurities and desperation for male attention. You would see the “kind caretaker” facade slip and her anger come out when she didn’t get the attention she worked so hard for. She would feign ignorance… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 05:32 PM |
| 16 | Let's take a look at the ownership of Liberal Feminist bible VICE! It includes TPG Capital (44%)- one of the main profiteers from the opiate crisis (right wing) and A&E Networks (20%) which is owned by both Hearst (which used to publish Adolph Hitler) and Walt Disney (which acquired Fox News)This isn’t about left vs right wing, it’s about the fact that the powerful (both left and right) have a monopoly on government, corporations, and media. I wouldn’t trust politicians on either side.... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/21 07:41 PM |
| 2 | Absolutely 👏👏Agreed. I’m naturally somewhat “masculine” in that I don’t want kids and I’m in a male-dominated career field, but I can’t stand that that is considered “less feminine” or that I’m trying to be “more like a man.” I am no less of a woman because I enjoy my work. I’m not “brainwashed by the patriarchy” because I find value in the work I do. I make my own money, I live my life with complete freedom, and the idea that that is a sign of “internalized misogyny” or proof that I “just want to be a man” … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/21 01:04 PM |
| 20 | is a guy ranting about pornsickness a red flag?I find it to be fake outrage to try to get on our side. It’s happened to me multiple times. It’s basically their version of “I’m not like the other guys.” They’re like “ugh yes men DO suck, but not ME, I would NEVER do something like watch porn, EW.” But typically these guys are just the “nice guy.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/21 06:41 PM |
| 28 | Leveled up, but feeling alone: everyone I meet seems to be a LVM or LVWThank you so much for the kind word! Complimenting others is such a great idea. That has worked for me in the past so I’ll continue to make that a more regular part of my days/weeks. Even if it doesn’t produce friendships, it at least is good attitude to have towards life. I can’t really find female friends at work because I work in a very male dominated industry in a traditional city so it’s rare to find other women to befriend (unfortunately there’s a trend of women in admin positions here cat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/21 03:18 PM |
| 232 | I pray that one day pick me women will be free from the shackles of male validation.All of these comments are like “don’t be fat.” Like that’s the TOP advice for women?! Wow men showing their cards about what they really look for in women: a hot bod to bang. I CANNOT DEAL WITH MEN EXPECTING A WOMAN TO BE PERFECTLY IN SHAPE. I’m an avid fitness junkie and competed in a bikini bodybuilding competition. That shit is HARD and is NOT a sustainable lifestyle. The fact that men expect that ALL the time is infuriating. Yet, the majority of men are overweight but tote it as “cool dad bo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/21 12:49 PM |
| 51 | Today I found out that quora can be as bad as Reddit“Not all men!” But also “all men!” Can they just pick one? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/21 12:35 PM |
| 534 | I don't think men are capable of seeing us as humans, everIf men think you are inferior, they want to date you and will “love” you but they don’t respect you. If men see you as their equal, they respect you but feel emasculated by you, and won’t date you. And even if they do date you, they will eventually grow to resent you for your success. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/21 12:34 AM |
| 202 | What's a 🚩red flag you encountered this week?Guy says he wants to take me out to dinner. But he asks me out 3 hours before. I tell him no. He says he will “be better about planning in advance.” Then I hear nothing so I tell him “hey I don’t do last minute plans so since you haven’t planned anything, I’m no longer interested.” He swoops in with “oh no I really want to take you out! How about tomorrow?” LOL if I have to remind you to take me out, it’s a NO. I just blocked him after that. I seriously can’t believe there are women out there th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 02:54 PM |
| 254 | “Oh the breadcrumbs Look Gretel, there are a lot of sweets down this path but it will end in a fiery oven for you or you have to shove his ass in to save yourself.” 😭I bet the scrotes and pickme’s are like “just communicate with him!!!” It’s posts like these that make me grateful I don’t give a shit about male attention / validation. It’s like finding a penny on the ground and thinking you won the lottery. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 02:52 PM |
| 138 | Never trust dudes who have the female “best friend” in adulthood. Normally this woman is someone they strung along for years as a back up hook-up. 90% chance he is already sleeping with her.“I’d tell my friends and family but then they would say told ya so.” Omg when pickme’s hear from ALL of their friends and family “this is a red flag!!!” And they STILL ignore it......smh. Classic “yeah but I’m not like the other girls, he wouldn’t do that to ME, I’m special unlike all of you!” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 02:22 PM |
| 37 | And I always am.Men don’t like funny women, they like women who think THEY are funny. Men that say they like smart women usually mean they like a woman smart enough to realize how smart he is. They can’t handle a woman being smarter than him, funnier than him, more successful than him, etc. These men don’t actually like women, just just view women as a tool for their ego. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 01:48 PM |
| 2 | LVM Giving Attention to LVW Over You (Mix of stuff learned from this subreddit & what I've picked up on my own)I know I’m late to the game here, BUT, this is EXACTLY my friend and I. She allegedly gets a lot of “attention” and “interest” from men. At first, I was super insecure about it. But over time, a few things became very clear: 1) The things she thinks of as “attention” ISNT actually attention. She works as a teacher and never interacts with me and has never really had male friendships so she assumes any compliment or advance is “wow this guy is into me!” When it’s more like “wow manwhore is acting… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/20 06:06 PM |
| 65 | When i saw people calling this a sub for "nasty/evil/crazy/scary" women i immediately got hopeful and wanted to see whats up, not despite of the reputation but BECAUSE of it. Because every time women are doing something RIGHT it's rebranded by men as "nasty/evil/etc"Yes you are SO right. What I love about FDS is how incredibly empowering it is compared to the other female subs. They are all like “my boyfriend gaslights me daily and I’m miserable, should I marry him?”, tons of victim-mentality, and “woe is me, a frail woman” posts. That content only made me sadder and feel more oppressed and powerless. FDS, on the other hand, has done the opposite. It has given me the power to take accountability for my life, the power to feel TRULY happy and confident witho… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 03:40 AM |
| 32 | If you are serious about levelling up, you need to get comfortable with taking accountability for your actions and behavioursYES. This is SO true. Liberal feminism is all about being the perpetual victim and relying on others to fix our misery. WE are responsible for our happiness. You have to face reality, see that men ARE NOT going to swoop in and make you happy. If you believe “I can only be truly happy if I am in a great relationship” you are SETTING YOURSELF FOR FAILURE and you are CHOOSING an unfulfilling mindset and life. You know what’s awesome? YOU can be happy without relying on ANYONE. Women are not weaklin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 01:31 PM |
| 4 | Why Gamers are LVMHey don’t blame yourself! I was that girl too. It is so normalized in our society for this to happen. And women are conditioned to believe they are a nag if they don’t like it. It took me a year after our breakup to have this epiphany. You should read r/stopgaming because it was super eye opening for me! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 04:32 PM |
| 3 | Why Gamers are LVMUgh yeah my ex used to blame me for “not understanding him” and said that was the reason we couldn’t work out. Basically, me asking him to leave the 10 ft radius around his computer once a week was “not understanding his needs.” Omg you also play the Nancy drew games?! I was OBSESSED with those, I’ve played every single one! Which has been your fave so far? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 03:57 PM |
| 1 | Why Gamers are LVMWhat other topics would you be interested in? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 11:46 AM |
| 9 | Why Gamers are LVMI didn’t realize he was an addict until now, a year after breaking up. This is because he was good at talking about and presenting everything in a “healthy” way. And he made me feel guilty and hurtful if I questioned anything. What the real problem ended up being was his inability to deal with normal life and using games as an escape. He couldn’t deal with emotions. He claimed he was just an introvert and an INTP. But I started to notice a pattern: he was too “stressed” to do anything other than… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 06:48 AM |
| 1 | Why Gamers are LVMYou aren’t alone! I loved my ex deeply but unfortunately this became a problem that i knew would hold me back from my life goals. I had to pick between my love for myself and my love for him. And that was the worst. But it’s common to be in this situation! You aren’t alone, you aren’t crazy, and your emotions and needs are completely normal! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 06:44 AM |
| 3 | Why Gamers are LVMThat’s a great point! Thanks for addressing that. SOME games are designed to be addictive...my ex was addicted to DOTA. Someone that appreciates the story and art of a game is not a problem! I’m only referring to “gamers” who fall in this category. Gaming isn’t a problem if it doesn’t affect other aspects of life | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 06:41 AM |
| 19 | Why Gamers are LVM“Video games are better than binge watching tv” isn’t a good argument. That’s like saying “well, poptarts for breakfast are better than huge cinnamon rolls for breakfast!” Poptarts May have more nutritional value, but it’s still not GOOD for you and it’s still designed to be addictive. There are plenty of people that enjoy games in a healthy way, that’s not the problem. It’s the gamers and normalization of addiction and unhealthy behavior that is the problem. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 04:01 AM |
| 16 | Why Gamers are LVMThat was also my ex. Multiple bong hits every night plus weed pen in between. He convinced me it was “like having a few sips of beer every night.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 12:34 AM |
| 12 | Why Gamers are LVMThanks! I wanted to differentiate because I know a lot of guys will say "It's just a hobby!" or "not all people who play video games are bad" and will defend it to the end of time and denounce anyone that critiques video games. It's so insane to see how many guys become zombies as a result of games. My ex is 30 and he's still looking for a girl who games, because he thinks that's why we broke up. He's setting himself up for being depressed and alone he rest of his life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 10:26 PM |
| 43 | Why Gamers are LVMThank you! My ex used the "there are pro gamers! It's a sport!" as a way to validate that what he was doing was truly a hobby. It definitely contributes to the problem. The video game industry has done an amazing job at preying on insecure adolescent men, and they keep finding ways to make even more money and get people even more hooked. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 10:24 PM |
| 9 | Pretty much all of the comments were telling her she needs to COmMuNiCaTeWow this was EXACTLY my ex. I’m glad I’m not the only one that dealt with this. I DID try to communicate a bit, and then he was like “you just don’t understand me!” And now he’s STILL looking for a woman that plays games because he’s convinced nobody will “understand him” unless they are also a gamer. He’s so unaware of his addiction that he just thinks every woman that that wants a normal relationship with him is “expecting him to Change” and “doesn’t understand him.” It’s sad but they are sett… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 03:15 PM |
| 7 | He’s never going to change for you- The mentality of the LVMI LITERALLY THOUGHT I WAS READING MY OWN JOURNAL ABOUT MY EX. How is this SO accurate?!?! The victim mentality is STRONG with LVM. Wow I’m just so blown away by how universal this experience is. It makes me feel much less alone. Thanks for writing this! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/20 03:26 AM |
| 3 | And this is how you spot HV relationships: 💚🚦💯Sure! So I was in a relationship with a guy that I thought was so amazing and perfect that I would marry, but slowly over time he became more critical and dismissive and convinced me that I was crazy and unstable. My intuition was telling me the whole time that something was off, but I did not listen to it. We broke up, and I felt relieved and angry that I did not listen to my intuition and felt very anxious. I reflected on every situation where my gut had a reaction, And I realized that it was … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/20 02:03 PM |
| 77 | And this is how you spot HV relationships: 💚🚦💯I have recently become spiritual. And it’s not the “spiritual” in the organized religion way. It’s about being mindful and aware of the ego and judgment and learning how to let go, how to be your true authentic self, how to live from a place of love instead of fear, realizing how much power you have to create the life you want, and how we can build the energy of others. Some people take it further than that, but for me, those are the essentials. It’s a way to let go of victim mentality and to re… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/20 01:52 PM |
| 5 | LVM does not tell his gf until 6 months into the relationship that he has herpes and also admits to not disclosing this to past partners...and she is completely fine about this 🤦♀️FYI....a lot of STD tests do not include herpes. The tests are often inaccurate. And most people that have it have no idea they have it because 85% of carriers of herpes never have a breakout. And you can get it with a condom. I have herpes because someone did not know they had it. They had a “full STD test” but didn’t realize that herpes wasn’t on the list. But it definitely isn’t cool to not share that with someone. That’s very selfish. While I believe herpes is an overblown, overstigmatized i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/05/20 12:47 AM |
| 27 | being single is better rather than having a receding hairline man child cheat on you with 60 walking STD-meishas while he's asking you where dinner is at but you earn 80 percent more than himI just want to caution the use of shame around STD. I have HSV2 and it’s a lot more common and a lot more manageable than people realize. 1 out of 2 women have HSV1 and 1 out of 5 women have HSV2. 85% of people that have it have never shown a symptom. And you can get it even if you use a condom. Having it really isn’t a big deal at all and doesn’t affect my life at all. I never get outbreaks, and there is inexpensive medication i can take to prevent them. If anything, the vast majority of guys h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/20 04:04 PM |
| 14 | If he only wants to smoke, play video games, and eat fast food. He ain’t the one!My ex did the opposite. He was SO critical of my workout regimen and schedule, made me cry at the gym with him because he was so critical, so I stopped going because it became too stressful. Then, he had the audacity to tell me that I deserved to be fat shamed if I didn’t workout, and that I should be more like him. We broke up, and I immediately started training and built a ton of muscle and dropped to a 16% bodyfat and looked incredible. Definitely thriving now! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/05/20 10:02 PM |
| 14 | If he only wants to smoke, play video games, and eat fast food. He ain’t the one!Oh my god this was my ex. He liked working out too, but he would use the gym as an excuse to not do stuff with me or for me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/05/20 09:42 PM |
| 1 | Manipulation tactics you should be aware of.Omg yes! I was banned as well for asked a question that involved my SO, not even about him, and it got removed because it was on “Monday” and I was like, so I’m going to get BANNED because I didnt realize the rules were so strict?! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 02:32 PM |
| 2 | This post enraged me! Seriously glad I don’t have a husband anymore. Today marks my and my daughters one year of freedom. I also had a husband that cared about this much about me.And it’s gaslighting to tell her it’s “just about cookies.” He’s trying to invalidate her feelings and make her feel crazy for being upset. He wants to be able to do whatever the hell he wants without any repercussions or consequences. This was how my ex was. It only gets worse and worse. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 02:12 PM |
| 11 | Words of wisdomHAHAHAHA I’ve had this too, I told a guy I love going to art museums and he said “me too!” So then I asked him which art museum in our city is his favorite. He has lived there for 4 years and has NEVER been to ANY of them even ONCE. When a guy says “no way me too!” Don’t just ask them WHAT they like, ask them WHY they like it. It exposes their bs. ( tbh plastic beach is actually great though haha). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 01:58 PM |
| 3 | Words of wisdomI did a test on OLD and sent the message “so tell me what you are looking for in a woman” and seeing the responses and how much BS was in every single response made me immediately delete the dating apps. They will say anything that makes you feel like you are the woman they are looking for, it’s so pathetic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 01:55 PM |
| 0 | Translation: looking for a pickme to bear my 7th child when it’s her first child 🤮🤮🤮🤮She’s actually 32, so it’s not as horrible as it could be haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/05/20 02:01 AM |
| 4 | You can never convince a man to love youExactly. We do NOT control a man. The point of avoiding being a pickmeisha is so YOU can avoid a LVM. Anyone that disrespects a woman for doing a bunch of nice stuff for them is a LVM. They don’t disrespect these women because they are pickmeishas, they disrespect women in general. They don’t even bother with the non-pickmeishas because they know they won’t get away with that shit. And if they do, they just want the chase. Also, Guys don’t know what they want. They will say they want a housewife… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/05/20 01:52 AM |
| 80 | You can never convince a man to love youThere’s nothing to do to impress this sort of man because they don’t WANT an impressive or strong or authentic woman. They WANT the doormats. These guys can only have happy relationships if THEY call ALL the shots. They don’t care how beautiful you are or how successful or funny, they aren’t looking for a partner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/20 08:07 PM |
| 3 | I would just leave the sheets and himUgh my ex did something like this. I was at his place and didn’t have any underwear. I stated my period early. I asked to borrow his underwear so I didn’t bleed on his sheets. He said no. So I had to go buy some underwear and come back. And when i was mad, he moped and acted like he was the misunderstood victim of my anger. Such BULLSHIT | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/20 03:01 AM |
| 6 | My sister just sent me this 😂Can confirm. I dated a guy 1/2 and inch shorter than me for nearly 3 years. His insecurity about it was so draining that I said I’d never date a man my height or less again so I didn’t have to deal with his constant controlling and disrespectful just so he didn’t feel emasculated. The problem is that I’m 5’10” and 6’1” in heels, and guys 6’1” and taller and are at least mildly attractive are often players because they know their height is desirable | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/20 01:22 PM |
| 1 | Men, what is your idea woman?Sorry, should say “ideal” women. I’d change it if I could. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/10/18 05:30 PM |
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