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View 6 posts and 302 comments by crager34 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
35

crager34/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 04:21 PM
34

crager34/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 11:53 PM
20

crager34/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 03:55 AM
19

crager34/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 11:33 PM
15

crager34/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 07:59 PM
1

crager34/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 06:24 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

For 4 years we used the same PC. We had all our individual and collective stuff on there. I moved for a new job with ALL the household items (3 bed 2 bath) and she was to joined me later. When I got to the new place, things seemed off. I was only 1-4 clicks away in the PC and I found it all, she had passwords all saved. Found her looking for apartments for the previous 6 months, meetings with 2 guys the weekend after I left, and her woe is me letter to her therapist saying she wasn’t following m…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 04:13 PM
1

She moved out. Change the locks so you don’t come home and the place is cleaned out. She can grab things while you are there. Get ready to change insurance’s but you don’t have to until the divorce is final, they will need a divorce decree. Always be calm. Record if necessary. Hopefully it won’t come to anything bad but be prepared for her to go nuclear on you with lies, anger, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/26 12:34 PM
1

“ I can see myself spending years with. However, it still doesn't feel like my wife.” Pardon the obvious but she isn’t your wife. In my uneducated opinion, all this really means is you are still missing what you had with your X, and are not able to see the future yet. I suggest talking this out with the new lady. Everyone deserves a choice and by hiding your feelings (if indeed you are) from her, you are taking her choice away (wasting her time). She may surprise you and be very willing to work …
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/26 01:50 PM
1

Research this sub, lots of answers there to your upcoming questions. This is the place to vent, your car, the woods… do it alone. You are a rock! Be calm around her. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/26 12:15 PM
2

He is telling you what’s going on and who he is. Believe him! You two should probably end the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 04:37 PM
1

It’s a subjective question but one answer I had seen was one month for every year.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 05:32 PM
3

I wish everyone wanting to get (state sanctioned) married would look at it like this. Every marriage has a prenup! It is the license that the state gives you. This license is a prenup and is heavily swayed in the woman’s favor. So, get a prenup to balance this out, no matter how rich/poor you are. Or, for the men, be ready to loose half or more of everything. By the way, a legal definition of “license” is permission to do something that would otherwise be illegal. Why is marriage illegal? It’s n…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/26 01:40 PM
1

Fight for you and your son. Together you two are totally worth it. Drop her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 03:39 PM
6

She tried to ruin your life and now that it’s not happening anymore, you seem okay with things? Don’t let your guard down! Again, she tried to ruin your life!
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 11:43 AM
1

Thanks for the correction.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 01:47 PM
1

States like NC and SC where adultery can be proven may only speed up the process, but more than likely won’t change the rest (I.e. support, visitation, etc).
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 11:45 AM
1

I was done after my first marriage. She was horrid and the system screwed me over. I was of course half the problem. Married in 85 and divorced in 88. Dated after but nothing serious until 2004 then had a 10 year relationship, but wasn’t going to marry. That ended in 2014 and in 2019…BAM!! The second came along and I was whipped. The difference was, I remembered what happed before. I set myself up emotionally and financially that I could weather the storm that is “A WOMAN”, and got married. I ha…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 02:05 PM
2

I understand your desire to try and find the reasons why all this is happening. Ask yourself, if you were to find the answer to this or any of your questions, would it change the outcome? If not, it’s of no consequence. Pay attention to the questions and answers that keep you grounded and moving forward. Usually those will be about you and what’s in your control.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 01:38 PM
1

It could happen. Look at the reasons why. Oh shit! Divorce is expensive…let’s not do that. Probably won’t work. Oh shit! The kids need us together..let’s not do that. Probably won’t work Oh shit! We were idiots and have now spent countless hours in therapy together working things out. It could happen.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 12:51 PM
2

It’s 2.5 years old for me. I had a great 4 years and it was only in the end that she really turned mean. I didn’t loose anything but I was crushed emotionally. There is no best way to get past this except for time, and acceptance.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 10:25 AM
2

This sub is great therapy to read and post from your experience. Twice divorced here also.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 06:09 PM
5

You’re not broken ya jackwagon. Billions of people in the world and neither you or her are going to be the ONLY ones the other is attracted too. You felt and believed the in the vows. She didn’t. That’s the difference and THAT is your closer. It’s going to sting for awhile, you are not the first or the last. You will also come to see that you were there, you wanted it more, you cared more. You can’t control her or her feeling. Move your angst toward her, to all the positives about you. Don’t hur…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 05:20 PM
2

Euphemisms, turns of a phrase, platitude's, etc. more often than not stem from a truth. They aren’t necessarily empty and there are no quick fixes. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 04:57 PM
4

Mine hasn’t talked to me in 10+ years. Turn that frown upside down and this is how. Respect their resolve for continuing to not talk to you, knowing you raised strong, independent kids. Watch their lives as they continue to grow and if they are doing it right, you did a great job at being a father. Technically, your responsibility ended when they turned 18 and now, it’s their turn at life. Let them have a go, they control it now, not you. Keep an open heart and if one day they decide to show up …
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 10:52 AM
9

As others have said, get her offer signed fast! It sucks but she will eventually be allowed to move in and live where she wants. Legally, she is offering you a win/win (all things considered).
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 01:47 PM
1

Charge her $30 an hour.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 03:22 PM
1

“There's a history of violence between us, and although it's been a couple of years since any physical blow ups, we still have shouting matches occasionally.” I don’t know, how did you find the strength to beat your wife? Seek therapy, grow a spine and do the right thing. Get a lawyer and get divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 03:10 PM
1

You’re not a psychologist, stop saying she is a narcissist cause it doesn’t do any good. She is recording for your reactions. Have you reacted poorly in the past, yelled, threw things, got physical? Stop all that shit now! Let her record you. Respond to her calmly, but be very limited. My X started moving her things out. I started to help her and she freaked and started recording me. I looked straight into the camera and very calmly: I am only helping you move out because you started. I don’t wa…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 02:09 PM
3

Have you read any part of this sub, or just posted? Read and find out the shitstorm that is coming if you don’t jump on this now, and first.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 03:49 PM
3

Homework: Block her and stop following her. She showed you who she is. You should probably stop seeing the kids and know you did good by them (right?). Read this sub because yeah, most of us have been through this. This sub in now your therapist. You were solid before her. You will be again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 05:55 PM
5

“Do you think anyone would be interested in understanding how to avoid this before it actually happens?“ This sub should be required reading for all men.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 11:10 AM
6

We all hope for the best, for your kids and then you two. READ THIS SUB! See just how screwed over men get, especially when they are the bread winners. My guess is, she is being extra extra nice because she know the score, will have to pay (if there is equal justice in the system) and wants to make a deal that will most likely be in her favor. We hope for the best, but expect the worst and get some legal counsel (secretly).
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 10:41 AM
2

My X did that with my brother and sister. I said I wasn’t a fan but also said, they are adults and to proceed as they see fit. Then I moved on.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 03:42 PM
3

At some point my man, these issue become your fault. Its up to you to figure this out.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 10:25 PM
6

DO NOT STRAY FROM ADVICE LIKE THIS!
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 10:02 PM
2

Get them all involved in planning a bigger weekend, see how that tracks.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 10:18 AM
4

That pussy is a powerful entity. You will find yourself drawn in and doing silly things. DONT EVER FORGET WHAT GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE FEELS LIKE! Proceed with caution.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 05:21 PM
1

FILE NOW! The feedback is unanimous and we are educated. We have been through this. You can always back out but go get a lawyer, get the papers, get her served and then she where she stands. Chances are she is doing all that now anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 03:48 PM
2

Yeah, it’s going to be hard. Focus hard on what’s right for you and your daughter now. Assume she will be working hard to make you the bad one so mind your attitude and emotions. Start documenting/recording. Sorry you have to go through this.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 05:27 PM
3

And she most likely will never admit to any wrongdoing, so don’t go seeking that for closure. Sorry it’s happening like this, for you and your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 03:07 PM
3

What that person wrote is gold! It’s hard but listen. Stay very calm around her. Don’t instigate and prepare to record your interactions. She sound like one that will accuse you of some nasty shit. Read this sub! This is your therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 02:18 PM
2

I stopped reading after this comment. Well said.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 12:24 PM
3

I get it. It’s hard for most of us men to “get some” randomly, let alone consistently. That pussy is a powerful thing. If you can still get some from her, completely disconnect emotionally and still work towards that divorce… DO IT (her)! Hahaha If you feel yourself being manipulated or getting emotionally erect, then cut her off for your own sanity.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 12:04 PM
3

Did you have any relationships before your marriage? We all have a past and we all will have a future.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 10:38 AM
7

The longer the lawyers can keep you arguing, the more they make.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 04:28 PM
4

We men!! We do some silly shit when that pussy comes along. Hahahaha Seriously: DON’T EVER FORGET WHAT HAPPENED AND HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU GOT DIVORCED! That should be the guiding light for our future relationships. I am now twice divorced. lol
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 04:26 PM
2

A friend of mine plays a daily game on FB and posts her results for two reasons. 1. She likes the game. 2. Proof of life for her friends. She has no kids but lives alone.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 12:36 PM
3

We feel your pain and really, the advice given here are just words on a screen. Just like your post. Don’t stop seeking assurances here by any means, but what I recommend is (it worked for me eventually) is to say all this again and again in the mirror. Ultimately, you are the one responsible for change. Stay strong brother.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 05:35 PM
1

Yes!!! I invested in me, in such a way that if my second marriage ended (it did) that I wouldn’t loose anything financially (I didn’t).
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 02:33 PM
3

Document!!!
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 06:14 PM
2

Transition your brain fast. Become hard and calculated and get the divorce done!! Hopefully you have what she said she doesn’t want in writing. Every state has a DIY divorce. File first and it wouldn’t hurt to talk to a lawyer and have them there in cause you need them quick. Be nice to her all along the way. When it’s all done, shut her out completely! Then you can open your brain and heart and grieve for your loss. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 11:15 AM
1

Notice how in their rules, it says no men! This one doesn’t. As expected
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 05:48 PM
3

It’s rather typical that men try and try again. Good on you but…. It’s rare for it to succeed. Making the decision is easy. It’s the follow through that is hard. End it and follow that path religiously. You’ll soon see what her intentions are. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 12:55 PM
2

Damn, that’s good.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 11:02 AM
3

You don't have to sugar coat it! If her and her affair was the reason... tell everyone if you want. Honestly though, it might feel good here and there to say it to the world but for the most part, it will probably just add to the sting of it all and the grief. Eventually, my story was... we got divorced. End of story.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 10:05 PM
1

My X tried to pull that. We were married, her parents gave ‘her’ some money so ‘we’ could buy a house and she wanted it back when we got divorced. Was my mortgage alone, but put her on the deed. Marital property through and through. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 06:08 PM
7

What they said!!! ⬆️ Take the emotion out of it for now and get it done. Even if she is mean, be nice. She is not apart of your family anymore. Just you and the twins, so your world hasn’t gone anywhere.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 04:29 PM
1

Not the same, just documenting a small win for the boys. I was taken back to court (early 90s) for modification of child support. The court didn’t like what she was doing but she did get the win. I ended up owing her $1. Point is, courts don’t seem to like the frivolous stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 03:11 PM
2

No kids involved with me. Wife left once and I wanted her back hard. Still, I put the divorce papers together and sent them. She eventually came back. About a year later she wanted to leave and started packing. I started to help and she freaked and started videoing. I looked straight into the camera, you want to go? I will calmly help you leave. She stayed. Eventually we got divorced, I knew it would come. As you know and others have said. You can’t control them and don’t even come close to tryi…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 01:52 PM
3

NEVER forget what it felt like getting a divorce. Your mirror is your friend. Look, and if you don’t like something, change what you can. Learn to love what you can’t change. Love who you are 100% because when you don’t get that women, you are still 100%. Look up The Attitude from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Albeit crude, it works. See #3. This works for women also.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 12:07 PM
2

Not sure how I am making it suspicious. Getting married with the state is a contract. Adding a private pre-nup is also a contract.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 08:46 PM
3

Think of the laws that govern marriage when getting the state involved. Fully consider them a pre-nup. Are they fair to both parties? HAHAHAHA… yeah… no. By asking for a pre-nup, you are asking to modify what the state mandates to basically… cover your ass. Don’t set yourself up to loose anything you aren't willing to throw away.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 06:09 PM
2

If it’s your house, you don’t have to move.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 02:30 PM
3

Having the urge is normal. What you do with it after that will define it further. Tread lightly.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 02:28 PM
5

She left while you were out of town. She is a coward and can’t take responsibility for her actions!! Know that you are better than her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 02:02 PM
1

If you know this is happening, you are almost, already to late. Get a lawyer. Start setting your life up for you!! Expect the worst from her, hope for the best. Read this sub!! Good luck bother.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 12:53 AM
1

You consulted with an attorney that is now representing your wife? Something doesn't seem right here.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 12:48 AM
2

You didn't fuck up. Look inward... NOT AT HER! She lied, cheated, changed, etc. What did you do? You're tried, believed, and cared. Who was the bad person? You passed the test my friend. She failed it. Learn it. Know it. Live it. (Fast Times and Ridegmont Hight reference)
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 12:42 AM
1

Take that seriously!!! Women, with very few words can literally ruin a man’s life. DO NOT make it easy on her by loosing your cool, raising your voice, stepping towards her, etc. Start documenting uneasy moments, set up cameras or phone record those interactions. You must be a man of peace. The gym is where you go to release any aggression or anger you have.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 07:27 PM
5

To set my life up to land on my feet if I get married again. My second divorce cost me about $700 for a DIY, about 21 days (thank you Vegas) and I got everything in the house (4 year marriage, no kids, one house).
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 02:54 PM
2

It started with fairy tails, and took off with social media. Someone is always looking for something better.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 10:50 AM
4

Not sure if it applies, but one thing I kept my mind on when I would think about “her” was, she had a past before me. I don’t care about who she fucked before me, I shouldn’t care about who she fucks after me. It did help me work past my XW.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 04:10 PM
5

Don’t fall into the oh so common trap, that when you look back, you think/feel it was all wasted time. YOU did the right things with the knowledge you had. YOU worked and provided. YOU raised the kids right. It’s not about her anymore. It’s about you and those kids, giving them and you a solid life. Of course it hurts. It will hurt for a long time. You are a steely eyed missle man. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 03:17 PM
1

Okay. Then it would be a Georgia divorce. Not sure what they require as far as filing it (via mail, courier, etc.). Every state has a DIY divorce. I filed in Vegas and if she signed it right away, we would have been divorced in a week. She didn't sign, but didn't Contest either. We were done in 21 days and she didn't sign a thing. She was properly served and knew what was coming. If she would have contested it... could have been a long divorce. In Nevada, all the info is on the government site. …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 03:44 PM
2

Not sure who lives where but you should check your residence laws. Also, if STBXW won’t sign willingly, you’ll probably have to file on your own then get her served.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 06:19 PM
2

Thank you! Now I know how to express it for myself. You are a steely eyed missle man.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 04:11 PM
12

The incentive to being a good man is you!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 11:43 PM
5

Shut her off. Do married and separated so you don’t have to deal with her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 06:23 PM
6

Read this sub and you’ll get all the real experiences you’re looking for.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 07:20 PM
0

Your wife is messed up in the head, not you. Therapist are like Lawyers, the longer you stay the more money they make.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 06:41 PM
2

Two words: Law Yer!
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 11:11 AM
14

A simple Google search says Under Georgia law, inheritance is generally regarded as separate property.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 12:28 AM
1

Sounds like you’re doing it right. Being honest with yourself and others about your state of mind is paramount and as time goes on, you’ll know when things change.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:32 PM
1

Congratulations. You know why you are sad, and that’s okay. You probably will be for awhile, then ups and downs, then more ups than downs… etc.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 04:51 PM
2

It’s public record, so you can search for that if you don’t have copies yet.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 01:42 PM
1

Hold your breath just a little longer and yeah, I am going to be that guy. It’s not final until there is a judges signature.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 01:31 PM
2

Read this sub! So many of your answers are here and with that, I will say this: She has already shown you where she wants this to go. YOU walk away. YOU loose. Wouldn’t it be great if you didn’t need a lawyer, but wait… she already has one. Get a lawyer. Keep quiet about what you are doing and start setting yourself up for the single life. Condo should be sold at 50/50, or one person buys the other out, the other leaves. Don’t argue ever, raise your voice, or get emotional. Audio/video record if…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 06:59 PM
4

It’s super hard not to look. For me it was a bit cathartic all in all. I briefly dated about 6 months after my divorce and for some coincidence, she started posting all these things about narcissist and how they always move on the quickest. Made me laugh. I haven’t dated since Sept 24. She eventually lost her job too. That gave me a little smile also but I really don’t wish her ill will. My marriage was only 4 years so the sting didnt have that much bite as other longer marriages probably do. St…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 03:27 PM
9

Looks like you enjoy being in a polyamorous relationship, because you keep letting her come back.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 03:49 PM
9

She wanted you to do it, so she could say YOU divorced her. You KNOW thats not how it was. She wanted it. She got it. Nothing else.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 03:04 AM
3

The road to change starts but with one step. Look, you are your own road block at this point. A massage parlor doesn’t mean it comes with a happy ending. It means a women’s touch. It’s cathartic. Again, your job, your kids, your physical health say you ARE NOT a looser. Therapy may help mentally and that is not loosing if you choose that. It’s investing in a more positive you. You got this! One step at a time. Edit. Just seen where you say you are in therapy. It can help. Be receptive. If it’s n…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 07:52 PM
3

“ I am completely broken from the divorce” “ I have done/am still doing therapy, I have a good/stable career, I have my two great kids, I have friends (who are all married and will never understand anything that I've been through), I exercise regularly, I play a sport (when I have time), I have done solo trips when the kids have been with grandparents (trying to live life, have new experiences, etc.)” THE HELL YOU ARE COMPLETELY BROKEN!! That sounds like solid parenting and adulting. Sex is seco…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 07:05 PM
3

What your gut tells you, is probably correct. If you decide to do this, record it!!
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 06:41 PM
1

Of course it’s worth it. First, set yourself up quietly for war before you mention divorce. Hopefully, you won’t have to use to much ammo when you start the talk.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 05:58 PM
5

Go find those heart pieces and start putting them back together. Is a long road but you got this.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 10:01 PM
2

Keep reading here.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 12:25 AM
2

Mine was PISSED!! I said, this is the 4th time you've been through this. You know what all this means. Hahaha
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 12:18 AM
8

She has threatened you! Wake up, start documenting everything, control your emotions, and get ready for war. Read this sub alot and see the shit storm that is coming your way (hopefully not) and the advice to get through it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 03:25 PM
1

30 lbs
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 11:06 AM
1

Every state has DIY divorces.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 11:18 PM
11

SOCIAL MEDIA! 👿
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 11:13 PM
2

Get the divorce and protect yourself and your peace. You can still love them unconditionally afterwards.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 03:39 PM
2

Go to the Texas government web page for uncontested divorce. You can do this in every state. Lawyers are not mandatory.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 12:35 PM
12

You would be surprised to know just how little other people care about you. So, that perception you have is really about your feelings about you. Which brings me to my twice divorced opinion. The hardest part is: With kids - Your feelings, and then having to deal with not being around your kids as much. Which is really about feelings . Without kids - Your feelings. I understand that is very general and as humans we want to assign blame, label things, push off accountability, but IMHO… it comes d…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 11:11 AM
3

I agree with others and tell them no phones. Or, get a good faraday bag when it is at your place.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 11:44 AM
12

She is eating it up that you are still giving her so much attention. Stop! You can and must stop!!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 11:01 PM
13

You ever take a shit and then try and put the poop back inside? I did. I should have just wiped and flushed.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 12:47 AM
9

Pin this! A must read for everyone
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 04:02 PM
1

For me worse, because she thought of it first. If it's in your head strong enough, beat em to the punch (euphemism for all the softies out there). In other words, it sucks more if you you didn't do it first.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 11:35 PM
9

You remember! Never forget the pain.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 07:32 PM
2

In essence, my X did that. We got divorced and moved on. It will hurt and be a PITA for a bit, but this too shall pass
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 07:24 PM
1

Took me 21 days 21 months ago. I got everything and she had to start completely over, yet I’m still pissed and remunerate often.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 12:54 PM
2

I went through a similar situation but ended up with a final divorce before buying the home. Anywho, and I am no expert, I was told there is a form that could be filled out that states the X will not be a part of the purchase. Sorry I can’t remember the name, but my lender at the time said they could produce it. Maybe start with your lender, but remember she will have to sign it. I was in South Carolina while she was back in Nevada.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 07:22 PM
6

No disrespect because I have been there… we all have. Read read read this forum and there is a search function. Adding details to your request would be helpful to get you a more personalized response. But yeah, search and read brother.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 02:28 PM
2

Try meetup dot com. They are more prevalent in larger urban areas. Sit at the bar at a bar or restaurant and start chatting up the singles there. They are looking also. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 03:52 PM
8

You don’t need lawyers if you both can handle things like adults. Sounds like you are doing that. Look up DIY divorces, the forms aren’t that hard. Pay attention to her and her actions and go get a couple lawyer consultations just in case you need to grab one quickly. Always be calm!! If she suddenly starts accusing you of things you haven’t done, she’s getting ready for war, and so should you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 12:35 PM
10

Help her move with a smile on your face. Hard but cathartic.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 03:45 PM
1

Divorced Feb 24. Dated one for 2 months and just couldn’t give what she wanted and deserved, so she broke it off. It’s been wonderful being single and was at a Halloween party… I about fell over how interested I became in this women there. Maybe it’s time again.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 03:37 PM
–

I’m really not adding anything new here. I just want you to see the consistency. You will never understand it completely and will never get closure. The closure you want is her to come back, apologize, tell you she was wrong and you were right. The ONLY closure you need now is, you know and understand who that women has become.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 05:46 PM
3

Just some minor detail changes and you just wrote my book. Keep on keeping on and always remember what divorce felt like, before getting into another relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 04:52 PM
2

Don’t be afraid of spending time along. Go to restaurants and bars and sit at the bar. Start striking up conversations with others at the bar (eating or drinking). Go to movies by yourself. Road trips around the city or regionally with the music cranked. You’ll get through it. Spend as much time with the kids as possible as well.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 02:02 PM
2

Best therapy I received was from here. As well as my dog. Good on you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 06:00 PM
1

No quick fixes to your emotional well being, just time. There are other quick fixes though. Get to work. Keep walking the dog. Home workouts. Keep doing this stuff. Then!!! Keep doing them some more. Be glad she doesn’t give a shit. That’s less weight for you to carry.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 07:01 PM
2

My X wanted the divorce and she agreed that I would do all the leg work for our DIY divorce in Vegas. As some of the steps proceeded and she seen some of the mandatory legal jargon, she would freak out on me and threaten to contest. I would laugh and say contest away, but you wanted this and this is how the process goes. Got it done in 21 days. Silly lady.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 04:21 PM
7

Other than for parenting issues, be done with her!! Stop checking in, stop looking, stop listening! Be careful while cohabiting, set up in house cameras, wear one or just record the interactions. Read this sub for the answers. It’s about you and the kids now.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 05:38 PM
10

Yep. Quietly get it all ready and when she says it next time, have her served the next day with divorce papers.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 06:25 PM
1

You are not giving enough info for any sort or proper help. With that in mind, people leave each other frequently enough and get divorced just fine from differing states/countries. Do your research or get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 06:03 PM
3

I believe every state has a DIY process which is the cheapest way to go, if you can both decide on things. Even though my X got mentally erect a few times during my DIY Vegas divorce, about $600 and 22 days after filing it was over. We had nothing to split, cause I set myself up that way. YMMV If you can avoid the emotion as much as possible and be rational, divorce is about the law and numbers. The numbers depend on how long and how much stuff (house, 401k, saving, furniture, etc.) you have. Go…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 06:16 PM
7

Most of the time it seems those last emails, notes, texts etc., are a waste of emotion with nothing gained. You’ll be in the same position as if you didn’t send them, except they will get a bit of pleasure knowing you’re still thinking of them. I suggest: Cut her off unless absolutely necessary Stay here and keep reading for awhile. I am 1.5 years out and this sub is still great therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 04:57 PM
13

I hope you and the new relationship works out like a fairy tale, I really do. But… Remember how euphoric you felt and how amazing your first wife was when you met her? Now, don’t ever forget your divorce. All I am really saying is, those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 01:24 PM
1

OP, Pay attention to what this person said!!!
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 02:42 PM
1

Don’t judge other women based on your X. Be cautious of other women based on what YOU want out of the next relationship. Value yourself 100%.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 10:31 AM
3

She has already prepared! Look up silver bullit here and beware. Take the advice listed.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 03:56 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 01:03 PM
3

I feel more often than not, it’s better to wait for the majority of men. You could be different and ONLY you will know this. Don’t ever forget your divorce, especially when dating someone new.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 11:08 AM
8

Consider selling a few toys now and pay off some debt. Don’t tell her the big why, just say you both should lower the footprint.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 10:13 AM
1

That tiny part is really asking you, just how much more could I deal with until I can’t (again). But…sometimes reconciliation works. I have never reconciled with an X.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 04:42 PM
1

It's a bit of a story as to why it turned out like it did. In the end, she had her clothes, shoes, and purses (social media influencer wanna be). We sold the house and came out even. I had all the house contents with me, including all her, her parents, and sons memorabilia, including her mom's ashes. She didn't come after them. Like I said, I set myself up so I didn't have to share. We are both doing okay, but if it's about a financial win or loose, I won hard.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 10:49 PM
14

I kept asking that of myself from 1988 (1st divorce) up to 2020 when I got married again. The second time I made sure that I was set up for financial stability on my own and wouldn’t have to share. 2nd divorce was 2024 and I should have listened to myself the first time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 04:46 PM
3

Be outwardly sad and distraught with her. She may not show it but she will get some joy out of your pain and hopefully that will satiate her and keep her from doing/wanting more. Good advice here. You will be sad and distraught, but give them up and move on. You will be better for it and also when the move is done, wait a bit to re-pet yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 11:20 AM
4

File and serve her the papers first.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 05:41 PM
2

This is the way. It makes it go away faster when you don’t have the visual reminders.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 03:05 PM
1

Just my opinion. You’ll date down 15 years but up only 8. You’re missing out on some good older years. Also, I don’t feel it’s “scary”, more than it is just being cautious. As I have gotten older (60) and divorced twice now, it’s just a choice not to put up with others as much as I did before. To be fair, them not putting up with me also. Good luck out there to all.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 03:34 PM
2

Same. Next thing I know i was all this stuff, doing all this stuff. Sorry brother, but you're probably on the way out. I hope not though.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 09:20 PM
–

An offer for work 240 miles away is different than thats the only job offer they have. Again, only going off what was written. Crib Notes: I lived on my own 2 blocks away from my kid while she lived with her parents, and I STILL only got to see my kid 4 days a month. My sympathy is there, but if it's a choice to move 240 miles for an offer, I wouldn't take it over being an active, present parent.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 07:46 PM
–

Oh shit yeah! My comments are based on what the OP posts.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 07:21 PM
1

When you decided to have kids, did you think that it would be okay to live 240 miles away from them? Hey, you do you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 11:13 AM
1

Rum
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 10:40 PM
3

Stay here. Read the posts. Contribute when you want. This sub is great therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 02:11 PM
1

This is the answer ☝️. As well as, a lot of men take issue with the mothers of their children introducing new men into the kids lives as well. So, yeah…normal.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 10:50 AM
1

Your daughter is old enough. Ask her how she feels about missing out on spending time with you, accept her answer and respond accordingly. My thoughts are, you’re going to continue to have a lot of “me” time.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 12:27 PM
5

I guess there could be a chance of you going back to court and getting it changed, but probably not AND it would cost money. You see the mistakes you made and now, here is the answer. It sucks. It’s going to suck for a long time, but it sucks less and less with time. What helped me is reading this sub and also sharing some of my story and insights. The big help was/is… and this sucks because it’s not a quick fix: Move on with the life you want for you. You’ll get through it brother.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 05:50 PM
2

You're staying too close!! It's about you and the kids. CUT HER OFF other than communication with the kids. Seems like the shallow choices you're making are allowing this kind of interference from her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 05:37 PM
2

Document document document!! Then after about 2-3 months of this, take her back to court for modified everything.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 12:29 PM
8

Myself. Dealing with the stupid things I said, letting my emotions take over from time to time, etc. Read this sub! Great advice here.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 07:15 PM
2

Probably most men here have experienced that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 12:36 PM
2

No quick fixes here. Feel the feels and find yourself way back to that person’ish before you got married. It will take time AND you will get through it. Also, while I do understand the want/need for therapy, they are like lawyers and only make money when you use them. Know when it’s time to quit.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 02:07 PM
1

OP!!!! This is your blueprint!! A little addition to #10 would be, document everything and keep your frickin emotions in check when dealing with her.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 10:34 AM
2

Yeah, you’re fucked up. Like most of us here are, or have been. This sub is therapy! Read it. Read the readings that are recommended by the readers here (just a little jocularity). You’ll get through it. You and your kids are the focal point now. We support you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 05:34 PM
10

Nope. A divorce in your 30s? Wow… I’d say your life is pretty much over at this point. PSYCH!! First divorce in the 80s, my 20s, had a 10 year relationship from 2004 - 2014, then the second divorce last year. I’ll find love again if I choose too. So will you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 02:56 PM
2

Document, document, document (if needed). Always keep an even keel.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 12:01 AM
2

You’re playing with fire. Hopefully it’ll burn towards the boyfriend and stay away from you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 04:50 PM
2

To much in the brain to start complicating things with dating. Work through and get divorced and then maybe. Someone told me once, a month of grief for every year of marriage. It’s DFW, so look at meetup and join groups there. Sit at a bar and then start talking to others at the bar. Short of all that stuff, keep reading this sub. It has amazing advice. You’ll get through it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 04:29 PM
5

The plan was to move across country for the new job, with the wife to follow soon after. I got to the new place, and after a week away, a week not seeing those tig ole bitties, that smile, that smell... Something was off after the wife goggles came off. I started looking and found it all. Never will I put the goggles on again.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 02:28 AM
3

I got the entire house full of stuff (3 bedrooms) slowly over the last 1.5 years.... been replacing everything. Didn't think it would but wow... that has made a decent impact on my psychy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 09:25 PM
8

Absent of everything else, let this sub be your guide. I helped me tremendously.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 09:15 PM
9

Don’t get sucked back in!! Read your second paragraph over and over and do that. You need to set yourself up to be a positive force and place for your kid. That is your motivation, not reconciliation.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 10:57 AM
7

This!! This here should be sobering enough to realize that we have to suck it up, walk it off, go to the gym. LET THIS SUB BE YOUR 24-HOUR HOT LINE!!
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 09:23 PM
9

When I was a new father many many years ago my dad asked me what the most important thing in life was to me. I said without pause, my son. While admirable, he said, how are you going to be a dad without the means to support him? It hit hard. Reality bites. My job became the most important thing. Do your job so you can continue to support your child!!!
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 05:23 PM
3

Control yourself around her! No yelling, no being next to her for very long, don't talk about personal issues. They will use anything and everything to put you in a negative light, even lie about domestic violence.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 09:51 AM
1

Who are they? Don't listen to them unless they are on your team!
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 01:55 AM
5

My X and I made the same amount, had a house and no kids. She tricked me a bit and got me to move out of state for another job when she was planning on staying put. She kept her cloths, jewelry and purses with her, the entire house was moved with me. Later she asked me for some stuff back and I said sure, come get it or have it moved… she never did. Equity in the house was enough to pay all the fees from the sale and then I eventually got reimbursed for (cha Ching) I got everything in the house,…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 12:55 PM
1

Like what happened in the past, this too shall pass. Walk it off… man up (sarcasm). Why not go for CS when you are primary? She would have, or did.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 03:48 PM
1

Start searching online for free and if nothing comes up, spend a few dollars for an online search.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 02:57 PM
1

You have the forethought to see yourself going down this path. That is a huge plus in your favor!! Considering that, there are two solid options. 1. Take care of it on your own. Man up, walk it off, punch a wall…. 2. Get outside help. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 12:55 PM
4

THIS 👆 She told you what she is doing. BELIEVE HER.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 06:26 PM
5

NOW you can heal. It’s going to be even more of a roller coaster of emotions because the admin work is done. The heart and brain work is where the weeds are. Did you like yourself before marriage? Find him again. If not, find a create your new self. It takes time. How much time differs per person but count on at least a month of recovery for every year of marriage. You will get there. Reading posts here and participating is cathartic as well.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 03:41 PM
2

Stay married, become swingers. SPICY!
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 10:55 PM
2

Reading this sub helps a lot. Pay attention, document negative events, never ever loose your cool/emotions, get your own accounts set up, consult a lawyer, etc. Also, look at yourself. What's your part in this, did you gain weight, stop paying attention to her, did you stop dating her, etc. It's rarely only one person's fault, but usually when the love is lost, as you described, it's pretty much over. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 11:55 AM
13

She is working to rationalize what she has already done (quit) into something that is your fault. Get your affairs in order quietly for what's coming, the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 12:50 AM
11

The older we get, the more likely we are to have a divorce or two. We all have histories!! Good and bad. Only you can be the judge of how red of a flag it is. Be cautiously optimistic.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 12:57 PM
1

In every state people can get their own divorce, no lawyer or mediation. Great way to go if you two can agree. I did it in Nevada.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 06:36 PM
14

Quiet quite. Be nice and decisive. DON’T GET ANGRY! Stay calm. Start separating accounts, bills, change direct deposit, etc. Document everything. This will hurt. Your emotions will be all over the place, but stay calm. Read this sub, great advice here.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 06:31 PM
2

If you’re that interested in keeping the marriage, get a solid postnuptial order in place before doing anything else. Then maybe…. Chances are you’ll get divorced anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 11:47 AM
4

Wife lived in Vegas, I moved. I filed in Vegas and she did nothing for 21 days and then it was over. Everything you need to know and do is available for line. Get it done, file, get her served and wait.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 12:53 PM
4

My second wife, hands down, I loved more.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 09:31 AM
1

Seems simple. OP is ready to settle, then shut up and bend over. No other advice is needed.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 01:56 AM
2

I agree 100%. They aren't going to advertise either.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 12:49 AM
2

Good point. What prompted this from me was another post I read where the couple was getting a divorce (not finalized) and yet the wife was already engaged, kids calling him step dad, etc. Was a solid reminder for me that while this place has helped me immensely over this past year for my divorce, THOSE men are still out there.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 12:30 AM
3

Keep reading! While this breakup is going to put you in emotional hell for a while, read and see how fortunate you are going to be otherwise, with no kids, property, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 12:13 AM
0

Seems like if you’re not willing to support your kids after a divorce, then you get what you deserve.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 03:00 PM
5

If you want to be "nice" then agree to all of that. I can almost guarantee you if the roles and finances were reversed, you would be getting.... well... it wouldn't be pretty. Get a lawyer and find out what you're actually entitled to, then go from there. Don't tell her about your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 03:18 PM
1

“I don’t know if I should keep trying or just accept it.” You can do both. Also, assume she is way ahead of the game and get your shit together fast (lawyer, move funds to your own bank account, New credit card, etc.). Prepare for war but hope it’s just a small battle.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 12:48 PM
4

The longer your case, the more they make.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 10:43 PM
5

Heading out alone. Going to be easy to strike up some conversations with others who are doing the same thing. Be happy alone at home, or go out alone and be social. Choices are great.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 04:31 PM
3

Also, it’s a good idea to assume she will be treating you bad. If she doesn’t, then at least you’re prepared. Read this sub! It is a great support group.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 12:08 PM
1

Why is this post here? “Divorced” men. Charges in “wife’s” account. No other context.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 12:23 PM
2

Date when you're ready, not when a shrink wants you to.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 04:45 PM
12

Same fucking thing happened to me. Now I am divorced. Start quiet prepping for that to come your way, and maybe, just maybe, it won't. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 04:36 PM
7

Alright alright alright
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 10:29 PM
7

I can so relate, even though mine was only 4 years long. She lied so much and I fell for it, that I accepted a new job, sold the house, everything packed and I moved away. The plan was for her to join me later. I got to the new place and found out she wasn’t going to come with me so I filed and it went uncontested. I got everything in the house including a bunch of her family stuff, bought a new house and made about $20k on the move with all the benefits. She had to start from scratch and rent a…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 12:21 PM
8

Time, but it will only get better if you want it and let it. Each day stop looking at her social media. Just block that shit! You will fail after a few days and look, then it will be a couple weeks, then months…. Feel the feels also. Stay at home and wallow, cry, be lonely. Little by little, start going out and be social. You were somebody before her, you’ll get that again. It just takes time. Also, her speedy recovery is all the closure you need. That showed you she wasn’t in the marriage and y…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 03:31 PM
13

It’s funny that when they plot, scheme, and lie, they are doing it for their protection, their safety, their future and are applauded. When men do it, we are dicks and trying to hurt them. You do the same. Quietly protect yourself and get ready for the war.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 01:15 PM
1

Hey, my X lives there also. I should introduce you. Hahaha.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 06:03 AM
3

We should do a collective divorce party in Vegas.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 01:56 AM
11

I understand but disagree with forgiving her. That isn't needed, but eventually, there is no need for any anger either. Just apathy. Forgive yourself first. You may not have done anything wrong at all, but there will be doubt, a ton of woe is me, what did I do, I could have should have, etc. Forgive yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 03:27 PM
9

In the immortal words from Tripper, in Meatballs: "It just doesn't matter." It doesn't matter anymore, her why's, or reasoning, or rationalizations.... Do everything for you and the kids. She is doing things for her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 12:47 AM
3

We'll see what happens? Don't wait! She is telling you what is coming. You should quietly prepare for a split. Do some research on what that means in your area and for your situation. Consult a lawyer privately. Learn and be prepared for a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 03:53 PM
8

Him: I would like to talk about what you did. Her: you’re always making things about me! Him: Sorry. Can you please help me understand how I can be better for you? Her: it’s not always about you. Seriously… that happened to me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 05:41 PM
2

I was wide awake going into that marriage. I have no regrets and came out on top with the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 12:45 PM
4

A lot of talk about the X in the OPs post. What we do is… bring it all to us. To ourselves. My X and I got very similar tattoos when married. After about 8 months post divorce, she changed hers. Trying to erase me I guess, just like she did with two other tattoos she had. I was her 4th marriage. My tattoo stays! No regrets for me. I am moving on. We all move on.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 11:48 AM
1

You man up and keep your sanity. It sucks, it’s hard, it lasts for a bit but you can do it. Keep you and your kid in mind and drop her feelings, and how you feel about her. When the divorce is done, then you can have your break down if needed. Be nice, document everything, don’t fall into any traps.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 05:22 PM
1

Reddit. Also, somehow TikTok figured out what was going wrong in my life and started seeing all the right videos. Odd. Hahaha
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 11:38 AM
2

Belize, April 15-21
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 01:35 AM
7

It’s common and shows she is not interested in co-parenting. You have tried and now it has come to you parenting your kid, your way, when you have them. End of story.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 02:57 PM
7

I cannot control the other person. I make my decisions on the information I have at the time. Since I am happy and solid with my decisions, I know that I did the right things and I am happy for that. The only closure I need is that my conscious is clear and my morals and integrity are in tact. A little montra I created for myself.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 03:23 PM
6

You need to read this post, then read all of this sub. You need to get prepared and do it silently and quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 06:24 PM
2

This place has been cathartic for me. Stay strong, read, and heed the advice here (maybe not all of it). You'll get through it all. DM me if you like.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 12:24 AM
5

It's my opinion that divorce is mostly solitary for most men. You know, it's only a scratch, walk it off, go to the gym. Avenues like this sub are cathartic and sorely under rated. Read everything here, and if it gets bad enough, pay for therapy. You are normal!! That can be a good and bad revelation, but ultimately, I see it as good. Embrace the madness and know you are never alone.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 12:14 AM
2

I had the easiest divorce, and I won just about everything (kids not included). It's been 9 months and my heart still aches. You'll know when you know and it's different for everyone.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 12:07 AM
1

Get a lawyer, but remember, they make their living off of you and will drag things out. Be very active in your divorce and learn how things work.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 09:42 PM
10

Under the laws in the US, what men provide for the marriage is enforceable by law. What women provide is not enforceable. Control your emotions and silently get ready for battle, that hopefully will never come.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 07:33 PM
8

Read more stories here!! Hold your tongue!!! As soon as she knows you know, the war is on. Be proactive
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 07:15 PM
10

Her brother didn't add you. You accepted the request. You want to move on? Stop doing stuff like that and move on. Yeah...it does still hurt.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 01:25 AM
1

Number 2 is selfish, as it should be.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 04:47 PM
2

What is your custody arrangement (court ordered)? If you are getting more time, document it and get it changed. Read things here and see how easily 'they' change their mind and go to war.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 12:04 PM
–

You should do a lot more reading here. The answers are here.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 06:42 PM
4

Sheesh!! Go get right in your head, yourself, your life. You're not doing yourself any favors by trying to date so soon after a separation.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 03:14 AM
3

Hah!! You know my X!
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 10:15 PM
3

You should have first right of refusal if the X cannot watch/be with the kids. They should come to you before going to Grandmas house.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 05:37 PM
2

Google Michigan child support calculator
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 11:14 AM
7

YOU'RE NORMAL!! Don't freak out. Process all this and you'll get through it. If the marriage is over, it's strongly suggested to limit the convo and visits to the about the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 08:53 PM
4

Short and sweet. This is the answer. ☝️ Embrace the suck, and it will suck and get back to you, for you, about you!
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 09:21 PM
12

Stop showing up and being the nice guy for her. Start showing up and being the nice guy for YOU!!
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 10:47 AM
2

She can't take the kids when it's her turn? You get them always and document! Work hard on moving away from what she is doing and why, and concentrate on how it may be affecting your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 11:24 PM
2

Bandaid Rip
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 08:19 PM
20

It's really shitty starting over at 41.. Yeah, it is. It was at 58 also. We pivot, we persevere, and we always keep moving forward, especially after taking a few steps back. You will get back to you but it's going to be difficult emotionally. You're not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 03:22 PM
5

The red flags of old might not be as bad as with the new. You have the gift, choose wisely.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 03:03 PM
9

Ditto. She wanted that micro internet stardom and even though I was supportive, I was less than. Divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 05:26 PM
13

Men fix things. Women want things fixed.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 12:04 AM
1

Divorced 6 months (married for 4 years) and got on hinge to see how I would feel about looking. I wasn’t into it (yet) so I deleted the app after a week, but just before that… I did meet one person. Been seeing her for 2 months now. It really is subjective and how you’re feeling mentally.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:17 PM
3

You’ve had the family scenario. Awesome. Now you’re going to have a different scenario. Awesome. She’s probably already checked out and you should set yourself up for the smoothest and best possible transition to being a single father.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 11:21 AM
3

Ohhhhhhhh yes indeed. Same here. My X can't seem to figure out what path to micro-internet stardom she wants to take, be it fashion or food influencer, or now she is trying her hand at pod casting. Now, I supported her hobbies 100%, but there is no doubt in my mind that social media was a major influence in her wanting a divorce. You are most likely not wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 11:15 PM
7

They espouse morality, integrity, values... SHE cheated, not you. SHE lied, not you It's okay to be angry. You have the high ground.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 11:00 PM
3

I had a very favorable divorce, married only 4 years. I really did walk away from financially better off. Here is the kicker... I failed as well. There is no magic pill or short term solution but YMMV. Keep on keeping on, and it will get better. Take care of that job, but away from that, take care of yourself first and purposely.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 08:36 PM
8

Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. Don't forget the past!!!
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 12:47 PM
1

I was thinking the other day this would be a good podcast subject, men and divorce. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 11:20 AM
2

“I know, from reading some comments on here, that leaving quietly is the way to go. But is it, really?” YES
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 10:42 AM
2

My 5 year came and went last week. My present to me was to delete the calendar information and not contact her. My present to her was, no contact. Sucks but it’s what’s best for me. Do what’s best for you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 07:23 PM
3

This!! No other comments are needed. Follow this!
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 02:01 PM
1

It may not be inevitable but you sure can quietly plan for it such as a private bank account, your name only with all the transfer mechanisms in place for easy transfers.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 12:32 PM
-6

Another person that thinks that being a stay at home parent isn't a job.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 03:08 PM
3

Heading to a place called Santa Cruze Cabins near San Ignacio for 3 days, then San Pedro for 3 days. A little jungle then beach time. Flying from Columbia, SC for $550 round trip.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 12:32 PM
3

Belize for me end of October. Easy, fairly cheap, English speaking, beachy.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 11:24 AM
3

Same!! Went from 225 to 195 on the stress diet in 3 month. Talk about a glow-up!!
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 07:52 PM
1

You won’t be able to keep your mind off of the divorce!! Eventually it will fade though. You’re the main character now, along with your kids. Concentrate on them and you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 10:53 AM
1

Don't feel guilty about snooping. Your instincts were sending you in the right direction. The same happened with my X. I was away from her influence for a bit, and something felt off, so I started digging. We are divorced now, but her lies were irrelevant, of course, cause I was the snoop. Fuck that noise!! If it was reversed, you would chastised endlessly and she made the hero for finding out.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 11:14 PM
4

A SAHD is a job!!
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 11:18 AM
2

You seem to be in a great (for what it is) situation. Things are amicable and you see what is coming your way. Sounds to me like she has been prepping for this for awhile, and without you knowing. Time for you to do the same. Hope for the best but expect the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 06:27 PM
2

Skip dating sites and maybe even dating for awhile, depending on how recent the breakup was. Try meetup. Com and look for social activities.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 05:39 PM
2

Make sure she’s asks you first to take the kids when she is gone. Document if she doesn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 10:54 AM
11

“I cannot find a suitable partner no matter how hard I try.” Look in the mirror. YOU are that partner.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 10:38 AM
10

Are seeing her glow-up in person or on social media? If in person, try and avoid her. If on social medial, block her! It’s hard hard hard I know. You are the main character now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 05:11 PM
7

Of course X, I would love to spend time with my kids. Please feel free to drop them off at my place while you go shopping, to the movies, etc. Then document all that extra time you are getting then go for more custody.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 11:36 AM
4

I like this response and to add: 6. You may have started dating too soon. Remember how your soon to be X was wonderful also? I'm not saying the new one isn't, but you may have those rebound blinders on.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 08:57 PM
5

Pros are one liners. Cons are paragraphs. I say keep it casual until you can expand the Pros a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 06:11 PM
4

Seems reasonable. If you have more kids, then adjust the percentage that each gets.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 04:35 PM
4

Together 7 years, get married and NOW there is trouble? Come on now. Marriage has nothing to do with the issues between you both.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 05:34 PM
2

So many things over the coming weeks and months are going to trigger you. Stay the course. It will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 03:44 PM
2

I get it, even though my situation is a bit different. We sold the house but I got 99% of all the items in the house. I didn’t get her clothes, purses, and shoes (should tell a little about her priorities). I even got all her family pictures and other memorabilia, along with her dead moms ashes (which I later sent to her).
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 10:10 AM
6

She has shown you the future. Protect yourself and your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 11:35 AM
6

4.5 months divorced now. Just met and started chatting with a women and EVERTHING is triggering for me. lol. I am not sure this will go anywhere with her or not, but my mindset is, it’s practice. I can either get back to dating, or not.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 11:27 AM
6

Commitment!! There are so many stories here about the woman looking to see if the grass is greener. They go looking only to find that it's not. It works both ways. There was a reason you got married. Go find it. Or not.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 08:43 PM
2

Hahahaha….sometimes they aren’t. They are just assholes.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 03:52 PM
4

I will always understand supporting your own family first. However, I will never back them up on anything they legitimately do wrong morally, ethically, legally.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 11:55 AM
1

The longer it goes on, the more they get paid. Just like therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 01:52 AM
1

Beautiful! Even though none of us are perfect in relationships, set yourself up to have a clear conscious if things go south and end.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 11:06 PM
8

Remember your wife, how she was amazing and the one and... so on? Remember what you just went through, open up that communication and honesty, and simply pay attention.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 10:54 PM
2

Pretty much, the legal definition of “license” is permission to do something that would otherwise be illegal. Getting married is not illegal; therefore, you don’t need a license. Look at this subreddit and learn why you are afraid of getting that ‘legal’ type of marriage. Trust your gut.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 03:00 PM
5

And you haven’t thought about contacting the county sheriffs office to see if Sargent so and so works there? To verify if that’s a legit sheriffs number? Come on!
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 11:11 AM
5

What?
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 11:08 AM
5

I’ve have had enough relationships before my second marriage that I thought I would try something different. I stayed within my attraction standard, but she vaped, and smoking had always been a hard line for me. There were a number of other red flags as well, but I figured if they didn’t directly effect my life, I would do what a could to not worry about them. My love for her was so unconditional that I completely surprised myself. I only had two real hard lines and it’s funny, I had to keep rem…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 10:06 AM
6

If you were dating a single mom and around her kid, would that kid be safe? Chances are rather strong that yours is safe as well, and it's OK to have those feelings about it also.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 11:35 PM
3

You had a drug dealer? Nice. 😉😂
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 05:58 PM
1

Quietly prepare for the divorce and then file. Suddenly, it will become a big deal for her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 03:47 PM
3

3 words: DOC U MENT
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 05:19 PM
3

In the words of Alice Cooper: No more, Mr. Nice guy.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 01:46 AM
2

It can happen but I feel I am in ratified divorce air. I was about to get mine done in 21 day in Nevada, without lawyers. I was threatened with contestation (word?) but it all went though. Lawyers are in it to make money. The more time it takes, the more they keep making money.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 10:38 PM
–

Don’t think for a minute she isn’t looking for an easier way. Stay calm, don’t engage in arguments, record stuff. Alway think she is baiting you into doing something irrational. Sucks, but you are the enemy now to her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 03:13 PM
3

I’m reading your replies. You’re being to passive and the blueprint is being given to you here. Stop being a whimp!! Get busy and do the work.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 10:47 AM
1

I haven't seen this feedback, but wasn't looking either. I thank God that when all mine started, with the new job came a guy going through a divorce. We've been each other's therapist for the last 4 months. I hope you can find peace. I'm not 100% there yet but getting there. Fucked me up enough to loose (unhealthily) pounds in 3 months.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 12:25 AM
2

This group is great, but… there is hardly a full on substitute for actual face time with another human to talk things out. Friends, co-worker, even a therapist. What you’re doing here with venting and receiving affirmations is solid. You’re doing the right things by feeling the feels and talking it out. Keep moving forward and do the work.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 02:23 PM
3

I know that's an easy answer, but it's so true also. If you knew my story, you probably wouldn't understand why this hurts so much fo me. I am very fortunate. 4 months divorced, and today was a crushing day. 100 steps backward. You're going to be alright.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 10:27 PM
3

Just 4 short months ago, I closed on selling my first home (bought with the X, she has had multiple homes). Got 30 feet to the car and yelled and screamed and cried..... horrible day. Bought MY house a month later. Normal feelings. Feel them and let them pass.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 09:47 PM
2

The GAL is on the side of the kids, not you... not her. Document everything, be cool, calm, collected, and do what's right for the kids. When the hearing comes, show them what you have.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 01:30 PM
3

I get it. I totally do. Try hard not to.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 10:45 PM
1

You should really think about NOT thinking like that.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 10:32 PM
3

I'm curious if you mean care while you're away? I would check into the normal 'first right of refusal' that's accompanies most divorces.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 02:26 PM
2

Loosing half or more of the new home, half or more of child time, possibly alimony and child support, legal fees, etc. Or… Remember why you married each other and find that again. Dig deep.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 10:08 AM
3

In the immortal word from Tripper: IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER. I tell you, IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER! IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER! IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER!
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 05:39 PM
1

Part of the process of healing. Don't be a dick to anyone, just realize you might not be the best company right now. Alone time is healing time. Find that person that she married again. It could take awhile, but be honest with yourself. Get to work.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 10:26 PM
1

Right near the end of my divorce process, my X said something like,'You probably won't believe this, but I wasn't sure if I wasn't going to move with you yet.' I emailed a screenshot of the zillow rental searches she was conducting a good 6 months before divorce was even mentioned. I said, yeah, I don't believe it. She's doing ok without me and probably will continue to do so. In my head, sometimes I wish for revenge, but ultimately, that isn't the person I am. It's hard to move on, but it will …
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 03:40 PM
13

Also, while you two are cohabitating, document everything. If an argument starts, calmly walk away. Don’t get close to her, don’t raise your voice. It sucks you have to do and think like this now but assume she is baiting you into some irrational behaviors.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 03:43 PM
4

All of these suggestions are good and work. I also suggest finding someone or people to talk to. Not just text on an app, but physically sit with and talk to. It's been just short of 3 months since my divorce was final. I talk to myself constantly, and to her... still in my head. I have a co-worker... we talk every day about our divorce situations. I can't imagine not having that outlet. 30 lbs lighter in 3 months (not healthy that fast), now I am doing the other stuff, exercise, walking, liftin…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 10:01 PM
16

First divorce at 24 ended with me swearing off getting married again. Had a few LTRs and they ended. Fell hard for a woman at 53 and decided to give it another go. Thought about just a commitment ceremony but we both threw caution to the wind and got the state sanctioned paper. I thought, let me try some things different to see if I can have one stay with me this time. Four years later, got divorced (I’m her fourth). I think I am good on marriage now and won’t do it again. lol
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 02:12 PM
3

I know they did meet an amazing person, but so was the one they just divorced at one time. 😇😇
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 09:24 PM
0

No, it’s not racism because they didn’t say other races couldn’t do it because of their race. They are being discriminatory. Learn your definitions.
/r/MensRights16/03/18 05:01 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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