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View 1 posts and 34 comments by crak84 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

crak84/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 01:44 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Write her a letter, then burn it. That'll be much more useful to you than actually attempting to tell her her faults. You'll never get the closure you want. Just accept it and move on with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 12:57 PM
3

You're worrying too much. You're about to hit your prime. If you have your shit together, have no problem approaching, and can hold a conversation, women will be all over you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 03:01 AM
2

I'm an operator for an ammonia plant. I run the control board and check on the machines out in the plant. It's a shift work job, which plays hell on long term health and makes custody of my kids interesting, but the pay is damn good for the area I live in, Southwest Wyoming.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 03:16 AM
2

Really, whatever I want (within reason, obviously I can't just go blow loads of cash on dumb shit, I still have work and a family and general life obligations). However, once she moved out, I realized how much money she actually cost/spent. So even though I'm now paying $1k child support and $300 in partial daycare costs each month, I actually save more money than when she was here, and I work less. This in turn has led me to be a lot more selfish in spending on myself. I bought a brand new 75" …
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 11:06 PM
6

Dumdum cousin. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 05:25 PM
2

If she needs space, give it to her. Pull back hard, and start doing things for yourself, BY yourself. Stop planning stuff with her, stop talking to her, just do your own thing. Why? The reason is two fold. First, you're going to need to do this anyway no matter what happens. Whether your marriage survives or doesn't, you need to live for YOU, and do what makes you happy, both physically and mentally. All the work you do for yourself starting now will only benefit you as you progress down either …
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 04:48 PM
5

That is managing your anger. Experiencing your emotions is how to get through them. Choosing a non-destructive way to experience them is absolutely what you should be doing, because the alternative of pushing them down inside and trying to overpower them is unhealthy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 11:17 AM
6

I love (and hate) how so many of us essentially had the same marriage. Modern women all follow the same script. Gives a sense of true understanding and camaraderie, while also being absolutely fucking horrible. So many other glaring issues of the relationship have also been put into the spotlight once I started dating my current gf. I never received this level of desire from the ex. It's truly astounding to actually be treated this way. Crossing my fingers that 1: she's actually different, and 2…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 04:04 AM
3

I rationalized it for years, thinking "yeah, she should get what she wants, I understand," and then, during the divorce, I was talking with some other friend couples about it, and both women were like "wtf" and I got clued into how wrong it actually was. I think that was really the start of me taking a step back, looking at the relationship, and seeing that really, she did make me miserable and things were going the right direction, as much as it destroyed me at the beginning.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 01:35 AM
10

I proposed to her with my grandmother's ring. She still wanted her own engagement ring that she picked out later.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 11:42 PM
2

Just got mine done 5 weeks ago. Have 2 girls, 8 and 6, and like you, no desire for more. I've actually dreaded the thought of another baby, so I've been adamant about protection with the girlfriend. We are both looking very forward to more fun, spontaneous sex. Other than opening up more potential quickie sessions, i don't see it really changing much for me as a whole.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 07:35 PM
1

Filed first week of September. Initial decree draft was sent over the week before Christmas. We just signed final paperwork last week, and I'm hoping a judge will sign off on it in the next couple of weeks. So about 8 months overall, and only because her lawyer was slow as fuck and she had no real incentive to move forward, because I was already freely/willingly paying child support. Not nearly as bad as some, but longer than it needed to be.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 11:51 AM
2

As others have said, sounds like depression. For 2 years leading up to the end of my marriage, I slowly lost interest in just about every hobby I had: home brewing/distilling, bowling, video games, board games, TV shows. The only hobbies that didn't really waver were weightlifting and doing home projects. I'm about a year past finding out she was contemplating divorce and beginning the whole process. I got medicated, worked less, and pulled myself mainly out of the depression. My desire for thos…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 03:33 PM
7

Think this through real hard: Are you ever going to respect your wife again knowing she's had another dick in her before she ended things officially? Are you ever going to respect YOURSELF knowing that? She's done. You should be too. Never forgive a cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 03:44 PM
4

Because you built a life and family with her. It's hard, extremely hard to let go of that. But you need to. It's over. I'm sure if you take a step back and really look, you'll understand it's been over for a long time. Let her go, move forward, and work towards a better life.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 10:44 PM
2

Your height issue is purely self conscious. A woman who is into you doesn't actually care, and anyone who writes you off on that alone is someone shallow you don't want. I say this as a 5'5" guy. My current lady (5'6", yes, I'm aware shes not that much taller than me) loves wearing heels, and loves that I don't give a shit. Daring during my divorce process has been a trip, and much more successful than I thought it would be. It helps that I'm just out to meet people and have fun. As for general …
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 02:11 AM
5

You're definitely not too old. 41 is still prime. If you at least know how to approach women, you're somewhat attractive, and you're not boring, you'll be just fine. I'm only a couple years behind you and post-divorce dating was a lot easier than I thought it would be. There's some fucking CRAZY bitches out there though, so your vetting process better be on point.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 03:07 PM
2

You're definitely not too old. 41 is still prime. If you at least know how to approach women, you're somewhat attractive, and you're not boring, you'll be just fine. I'm only a couple years behind you and post-divorce dating was a lot easier than I thought it would be. There's some fucking CRAZY bitches out there though, so your vetting process better be on point.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 03:06 PM
1

I think you're reading far into the situation to claim abuse. Yeah, she's angry and lashing out. Over what? We don't really know, OP has stated the baby arrangement, but there's SO MUCH MORE that it could be that he hasn't mentioned and might not be aware of. Maybe motherhood isn't as glamorous as she made it out to be in her mind. Maybe OP isn't really pulling his weight. Maybe she's suffering from post-partum. This isn't black and white. I'm loathe to just tell the guy to nuke his marriage if …
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 01:01 PM
6

First off, I'm going to assume that you do your fair share of shit around the house. If you aren't, then fix that along with the rest of what I'm telling you. And don't pretend like you don't know what's fair. If she's a SAHM, she should be doing a lot. If she's working, it should be more equal. Stand up for yourself. You know how you should be treated. Tell her how she is acting is unacceptable. If she wasn't happy with the arrangement you guys made for baby care, she can be an adult and talk t…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 11:41 PM
1

Absolutely. If I'm not attracted, i don't approach. Simple. My current catch is gorgeous. I'm hoping things work out with this one, but if not, I'll keep looking. At the same time, don't put expectations on anything. Once you start having expectations at the stage you're in, your confidence will take a hit.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 11:27 PM
2

Aight dude. I'ma tell you to suck it up. Why? Because I'm 5'5" and I can still pull women. I'm not anything special. I work out but still have some fluff around the middle. I don't get many hits on the apps, and that's to be expected, women CAN be choosey as shit. I still have a little luck with them. But it's in social settings that you should focus your effort. Be fun, be you, be CONFIDENT. You have a life, you're not a fuckup, you're worth knowing. But you don't NEED a woman, and you have to …
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 10:49 PM
10

I have zero desire to maintain any relationship with her. Unfortunately we have 2 young kids, 5 and 8, so I'm forced to maintain one for quite a few years. Maybe I'll change my mind in the future, but I feel like the only direction I'll go with my feelings is to the point of complete indifference. And in that case, I still won't care to maintain a relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 05:59 PM
2

Exactly how long have you been dating the new girl? I'd say if it started anytime before the end of June, and you're fairly serious with her, yeah, you could have them meet. If it isn't serious or has been less than ~6 months, nope, don't do it yet.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 05:17 PM
4

I'm so glad that I'm not the only person in this situation. I always gave her credit for getting laundry taken care of. And if dishes didn't get done, well, that's ok, she had kids all day, she's a SAHM, she's tired, I understand. Kids are a headache and make messes. Surely I can grant my wife some grace. Yeah, fuck all that. She was lazy, straight up. Laundry, dishes, cleaning in general? Takes a fraction of my free time, and the house JUST STAYS CLEAN OVERALL, even after I've had kids for a we…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:29 AM
3

This is my answer.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 01:13 AM
6

Yeah, I just keep moving forward. I still get sad, but nothing like I was when I was 3 months deep. Scary shit, but temporary. I am definitely doing stuff for myself now. I don't feel bad spending money on what I want now. That's actually another thing that irritates me. Even with child support, I have more money. Being mildly selfish isn't actually financially difficult. I know how to budget and live within my means, I always have. I stand to lose a great deal of built-up wealth by the time thi…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 04:31 AM
3

I'm also in the late-life motorcycle club! I had wanted a street bike for YEARS but could never justify it fully; I had kids, it was dangerous, an unnecessary cost, etc. Wyoming's MSF course is cheeeaaappp, $50. Took it, passed the assessment, and got my endorsement. I'll be buying an MT-07 in the spring after the divorce is final and the weather turns back nice. Looking forward to the future and new opportunities.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 10:04 PM
2

My actual lawyers fees should be under $3k if things go smooth from here on out. She's not trying to be a complete dick about things. However, she gets $125k+ of equity and $120k+ of 401k. It's $40k more then she deserves from the equity, since I bought our first house before marriage, but then we sold it and we put both our names on the new house. So yeah, it's costing me technically a quarter mill.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 02:56 AM
8

Do nothing. The problem will resolve itself, and the worst you'll get is an earful of bitching. No contract. No bill of sale. No proof of rent tallied. No title in your name. She'd be extremely hard pressed to take legitimate legal action.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 02:50 AM
1

It became apparent that I'd been depressed for a couple years. Winters specifically affected me worse. But it was a high-functioning depression. The kind where I still go to work, I still take care of my kids, I still maintain relationships, but it's all just kind of empty, there was little joy, and I was becoming detached. My hobbies meant little to me, and I was just going through the motions of life. None of this was diagnosed, this is just my reflection on how things happened. But then she t…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 01:58 AM
8

Posts like this make me hopeful, because I feel like I'm on the right path. Still in the midst of the divorce, but she's finally moved out and I see her only to exchange kids. She still has about 2 truckloads of shit she needs to move out, and after that I'll start the full reorganization/cleaning of the garage. My hobbies are coming back full force and then some. The antidepressants kicked in a couple months back and I have motivation back in my life. I have house projects that I can't wait to …
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 09:17 AM
2

Ha, I signed up for the same thing recently. Gonna look for a street bike over the winter. Wanted one for over 10 years at this point. She never said no, but I always talked myself out of it. Not anymore!
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 04:04 AM
2

Holy shit this was me. I did ok for 8 years of marriage, staying in control, and working towards our future. Then we bought a new house and the financials needed a bit more attention. I overextended us a bit. Not enough that we were house poor, but enough that her regular spending would keep us stagnant. So I picked up more shifts at work. And she spent more because she was lonely. So I picked up more shifts. Etc. I was working anywhere from 50-70hr weeks for roughly 2 years. Throw in 2 young ch…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 01:41 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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