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crayzeejew Archive

View 0 posts and 53 comments by crayzeejew on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

Divorce mediator here, and this is very true. Social media is the pornography of relationships. Just creates unhealthy, often unrealistic expectations about how relationships work. To answer OP, I would add to social media with money, goal or core value differences (opposites may attract, but it doesn't often last), and negative advocates often lead to a couple divorcing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 04:26 PM
3

I am a divorce mediator. I am unsure which state you are in, and I am not providing legal advice; you can seek out an attorney for that. Some states have a child support calculator, and that might be helpful. Same for alimony/maintenance calculators, but that isn't always available in all states, as sometimes it's not a calculation and is up to the judge's discretion. Strongly agree that mediation is the best option forward if both parties are willing to engage in mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 07:52 AM
6

Many states have a presumption that any child born during the marriage is yours. Even tho you are physically seperated, since there is no legal seperation you legally might be considered the father. Make sure to include a waiver of paternity clause in your MSA and try to get that signed before the baby arrives.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 03:36 PM
2

Take the left one in the divorce
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 10:53 PM
6

Any settlement conversations would be considered confidential and not usable in court. But, yeah...divorce sucks so be more careful with what you say or do around her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 06:10 AM
1

I would suggest you use the child support calculator for DC to determine what would likely be the amount. It depends on parenting time as well as other factors. Here is the link https://csgc.oag.dc.gov/application/main/Custody.aspx
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 05:03 PM
1

Usually, in mediation we do some light discovery (Statement of Net Worth filled out by each party, more if needed). But, if they already did depositions and exchange of bank records, paystubs, etc it can sometimes be used in mediation. Hopefully, your situation get better and is resolved soon!
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 06:45 AM
5

Divorce mediator here. The quickest and cheapest divorces are those in which the parties have worked out nearly all the details themselves and just need me to write them up into an enforceable agreement. I love those divorces bc we can be done in 2-3 sessions and everyone walks away happy.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 11:26 PM
3

You cannot appeal a temporary order, especially an ex parte TRO. You have a hearing date, and the Court will allow you to present your side of events on that date, as well as decide if the TRO should remain in place. Meanwhile, meet with your attorney and ensure they have all the necessary evidence; follow their advice. And keep to the terms of the order, or you will be arrested.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 06:00 AM
2

Mediation is the fastest way out, and also the cheapest. Speaking as a divorce mediator and someone who spent 6 years in court, mediation is the way to go.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 04:02 AM
3

Based on what? If they are correctly done, I have seen them work in multiple blue states (NY, NJ, CT, etc)
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 05:34 AM
1

Prenuptial Agreements
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:55 PM
9

Ex-MIL tried pulling this on me, and I dealt with it without an attorney. Being as she had just turned 65 and I was more than 10 years younger than her, an overzealous ADA upgraded it from misdemeanor assault to felony assault (basically, elder abuse). At my next visitation, they denied the visit, and I was arrested. By saying two words, "not guilty," it was dropped back to misdemeanor, and I was ROR'd, no bail (I have no criminal record). The court attempted to force me to accept an ACD (Adjour…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 08:15 AM
-1

He cannot represent you in another country. He is barred in NY (possibly also barred in NJ) but he will not be "flying out" to save you. He has plenty of clients, his rates are +$500/hr last I checked and he does fine. Idk of group rules allow such ads to be placed...
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 09:11 PM
12

I know James IRL, he does a lot of podcasts and also is very involved as an attorney in my area. I see u posted some of his thoughts before in this subreddit, are you seeking to promote him as an attorney or just his tips?
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 09:42 AM
13

A helpful guide that I recommend to my clients: Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 12:28 PM
2

Not an attorney, but based on feedback I have gotten from attorneys, it's at least a week or two. It has to be clear that there was no coercion because of the upcoming wedding date to push one side into signing the agreement. That being said, as a mediator, I have seen prenups signed two or three days (or even the day of) the wedding be accepted. But there is always a possibility of challenging the agreement in those cases.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 03:35 PM
3

NAL, but I am a divorce mediator (non-attorney mediator). I have mediated a few divorces with a prenup in place in multiple states, and have done some extensive research into how prenups would affect a divorce. Most prenuptial agreements that attempt to protect parenting rights would not effectively protect them unless the children are around prior to the agreement being executed. This is because most states do not recognize the validity of an agreement detailing custody for children who have no…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 05:19 PM
14

Why no prenuptial agreement? Assets you entered the marriage with can be considered seperate property and not subject to equitable distribution (I am a divorce mediator)
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 10:44 PM
7

Divorce mediator here, giving a brief overview of child support guidelines of the various states I have mediated agreements in or consulted with. Most states use calculators or formulas to determine child support. You can search online in your state and verify if the numbers your attorney is telling you seem correct. Child support is generally income-dependent, and some states have caps (on the parents' combined income) that can affect the numbers. According to the discretion of the judge, there…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 10:13 PM
3

Try to keep yourself as busy and occupied as possible. Then, one day, you will realize that you haven't thought about her in days...then weeks...then months.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 07:38 AM
3

You need to allow yourself the space to go through all the stages of grief for your relationship. Be patient, and kind to yourself until you come to acceptance.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 06:14 PM
5

PTSD absolutely has a potential impact on your memory, and many can experience PTSD symptoms from divorce. There is even a new disorder, "Excessive Litigation Syndrome" which can ckme from people in lengthy and contentious divorces which is pretty much just PTSD
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 05:54 PM
10

Im a divorce mediator and divorce coach, and can give you a free session to go over how to get started with your divorce and how to protect yourself during your divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 07:09 PM
5

Read "Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder" by Bill Eddy. I'm a divorce mediator and divorce coach and I always recommend this book to my coaching clients who are dealing with an NBP or BPD spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 11:22 PM
2

Divorce mediator here: Most MSAs have a section or process for handling violations. If there are continuous violations, a violations order can be filed in family court. Usually, the breaching party can be potentially responsible for legal fees spent correcting the default. But that would have to be something that a judge would determine (but make sure to include this relief in the motion). I suggest you only return for major violations, not minor ones. Sometimes emailing you instead of using OFW…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 03:40 PM
4

This sounds like something to discuss with a good couples therapist where you both can establish trust.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 05:29 PM
5

If you are asking what rights you would have for financial discovery during a divorce proceeding, you have a very strong right for that and will be allowed to request bank statements, credit card statements etc so as to determine her true financial picture. Most states have pretty wide lenses they will allow you to peer into her financial picture. If you are asking for what financial rights you have to perform discovery on an existing spouse, with no intent of divorce, thats a seperate question.…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 05:19 PM
1

PCPs should not be diagnosing and prescribing psychiatric medications. Usually, a forensic or custody evaluation would issue recommendations for parenting time, but they won't bar parental rights unless she is a danger as a caregiver for the children.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 04:47 PM
2

Sounds more like Bipolar II than borderline, I would suggest you try to find a psychiatrist and therapist that specializes with this type of disorder or another mood disorder. If she wants to stay together then she needs to make sure she is doing the stuff on her end to stay together. Avoid direct ultimatums, but negotiate with her to get her the help and resources she needs to function better.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 02:38 PM
3

You don't go to jail for not paying your lawyer. Only for failure to pay child support. Debtors prison isn't a thing anymore (unless the debt is child support). I am a divorce mediator and a divorce coach. The question is, what do you want? If you want to get divorced from her, and seek to do it as cheaply and painlessly as possible, then mediation might be for you. Collaborative divorce is also an option to explore. But both of you have to want this divorce to happen, otherwise it gets messy. I…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 01:49 PM
3

Yeah, so usually there will be a stern finger wagging from the judge to both parties. Nobody has "clean hands" here. That being said there is a clear difference between certain types of violations and the Court would differentiate from the more serious stuff va the minor ones.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 05:08 AM
3

Contempt requires a proof of willfullness, so usually that can be harder to prove. The burden of proof would usually be on the petitioner or movant. However, if you failed to pay child support, there is a presumption of willfullness for a failure to pay CS. So, taking matters into your own hands (let's say she owes you for some reimbursement and you withheld CS to cover it) can result in a potential contempt charge. That being said, the court will often allow you guys to make a deal in exchange …
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 04:56 AM
1

You can file a separation agreement and use that to start the divorce process. The separation agreement would allow the parties to maintain a separation fo their finances from the time of the agreement. Also, not sure what state you are in, but in many states that allow a divorce on "irretrievable breakdown" (aka "no fault divorce" ) there doesn't need to be a physical separation initiate a divorce on those grounds. Some states have a year waiting period, but more states have 6 months. There are…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 03:46 AM
1

Start with the State Bar of Nevada Pro Bono services page: https://nvbar.org/for-the-public/pro-bono-for-the-public/
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 02:39 PM
1

Also, if you live in some states (like NY), and your finances qualify, you can apply for and get an attorney appointed for the custody.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 02:18 PM
3

Mediation can get you divorced without a lawyer, but I would still suggest you pay for a lawyer to review the agreement. Usually, that can be affordable.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 02:12 PM
1

If you have a signed agreement with those terms, perhaps. If not, SOL. Although, the Court doesn't like it if parents introduce romantic parties to the children so fast. It still won't change that much.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 06:28 AM
7

I am a divorce coach as well as a divorce mediator. This is exactly what I offer for people. All of those things you mentioned, plus some additional services as well (legal referrals, assistance with editing docs, goals, etc) Previously, I have set up therapist-led support groups for men going through divorce. In my opinion, this will change and communities will eventually increase the support for the men. Its not a gender issue, this is a community issue and I am optimistic that with enough awa…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 08:29 PM
1

I have a divorce coaching client who did a 1 page settlement agreement himself between him and his wife. It was almost entirely unenforceable and did not have the state required language. Frankly, was wrong for the judge to sign it bc it was so bare. But yeah, a JOD was issued with it. They had post divorce issues and bc they didn't have clarity with the MSA, it was an issue for them. I coached him with the negotiations so they were able to avoid court, but at one point they almost ended up ther…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 05:32 PM
1

Court is way more expensive and is more limited in their solutions. Even pro se individuals can face potential legal costs that far exceed mediation costs. The whole idea of mediation is you get a trained professional who has experience in dispute resolution and that is helpful for getting the parties off of their positions, and resolving the underlying issues. If the parties were capable of doing thus themselves, they more likely would not be getting divorced. The other advantage is most laypeo…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 03:48 PM
1

Depending on the situation, but most mediations I have worked have resulted in an agreement. Since the mediation agreement can contain terms that both parties want, its pretty unusual for them to walk away from it unless something drastic happens.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 03:44 PM
4

I am a private mediator, and this would be a red flag. Most attorneys encourage mediation, and that's good bc mediation can often allow things that are not attainable via litigation. If there is a specific part of your settlement or agreement that your attorney feels is against your best interest, thats one thing. Same for an issue that the attorney can have with one specific mediator. But a blanket rejection of the idea of a private mediator, is suspect.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 04:01 AM
3

Most small town or county courts, every practicing lawyer in the area knows the judge and donated to their campaign. I always try to steer clients to the attorneys who vacation together with the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 05:18 PM
2

The original expression was much more colorful (sh*t up your @$$) but I cleaned it up just in case of language concerns
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 05:15 PM
1

You cannot use the same lawyer. That is a conflict of interest. Unless you are using the lawyer as a mediator. In which case its still advisable to each retain private counsel so your needs and rights are duly protected and explained to you. As a mediator, I very firmly push for the couple to each retain independent counsel for the agreement and often refer to attorneys who I know are good and experienced to represent the individual parts of the couple. It also adds to the enforceability of the …
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 05:03 PM
1

I'm a divorce coach and divorce mediator. Generally speaking, always suggest that you guys explore or at least attempt mediation. A lawyer can also be extremely helpful/useful during mediation, as well adding additional enforcement to the agreement by having both parties with proper representation. There are a lot of ways to try and find a good attorney. Usually, I suggest people find someone whom they know had a good experience with a specific attorney and that they should consult with 2-3 atto…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 12:22 PM
1

That price is highly region/area specific. I live in NYC metro area, and most of the "good" lawyers around here charge $350-500 for an hour consultation.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 12:14 PM
8

There is an expression that getting back together with an ex is like trying to shovel excrement back into your anus.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 05:39 AM
2

As others said, the legal battle here would cost you way over 20k Besides the fact, that your agreement most likely waived alimony and paid her the lump sum as part of the equitable distribution. Breaking that would be a breach in contract and you could potentially be responsible for her legal fees. Her cohabitation also might be up for legal interpretation. Many states have a specific list of factors which are considered cohabitation for termination of alimony (or maintenance as its called in o…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 04:01 AM
3

Don't try to force yourself into dating other people to heal your wound. That can be unhealthy. Invest this time in yourself. Mourn the loss of the relationship, grieve it and heal up. Then, ehen you are ready, you can move on. I found it helpful to be as busy as possible so my brain wouldn't have time to think about the pain. Eventually, a day would pass and I didn't think about her. Then a few days, a week, a month. Now, the only time I ever have to think about my ex is when she is not respond…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 10:00 PM
6

Take your time. Listen to your gut. It might be bigger than before, that's bc its grown wiser with age.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 09:56 PM
2

Find a hobby or a sports league in your area. I have made a lot of friends from various sport leagues or pickup games I take part in. It's the adult version of making friends at the park.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 09:55 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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