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View 7 posts and 2,156 comments by cromulent_weasel on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Eh, this has happened to me exactly once in my life. I started to have limerance feelings for a bubbly coworker. I realised that it was never going to go anywhere (we wouldn't be that good of a fit together) and after a month or so the feelings died down. If one party tells you that they have feelings for you and want to be more than friends, and you don’t feel the same way, then it’s time to cut ties with that person. It's certainly time to have some emotional distance between them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:24 PM
–

There really are some men with incredibly extreme, illogical, and detached-from-reality beliefs and ideologies. Yeah, I think that's one of the downsides to social media, so many different echo chambers each reinforcing different fictions describing reality. I personally think that there's about 5% of guys who are 'bad eggs'. Which means that as women travel through life they are bound to encounter SOME of them, which might colour how they percieve all men (is this guy one of the bad ones?) I st…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:01 PM
–

I am a big believer in the MAO8 warrior gene, made popular by the Dunedin study. The basic conclusion is if you were raised in an abusive environment, AND you have this gene, you're going to be one of the guys who commit over half of all of the violent crime. That's a set of criteria that only apply to 5% of men. So in dating, part of what men have to do is give off clues that they AREN'T one of those abusive men, that they are one of the good guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:58 PM
–

There's a book I read that was REALLY good, "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend. You might find it helps you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 09:15 PM
–

If I could leave my mom and aunt the two women that raised me and I love deeply despite everything they’ve done This is just an armchair diagnosis from a random internet person, but have you considered therapy? I think it might help you unpack some things and work on your boundaries with your family.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 09:06 PM
–

If you meet a selfish or narcissistic person, don't hang out with them. It's not that hard or deep.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 08:34 PM
–

Well, my personal experience of women generally 'in society' is that the ones I hang out with aren't self centered and narcissistic. As if you live in a bubble with regards to voting, schools, safety, workplace, local community, and etc Everyone lives in a bubble. Part of the trick is to be aware of the flavour of the bubble you live in. Even online spaces are bubbles, or echo chambers. There people repeat fictions to each other until the group identity reaches conclusions that are astonishing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 08:10 PM
7

Who cares? Even if your thesis is true, you're not trying to date 'many women'. You're trying to date ONE women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 08:46 PM
2

No, I get it. We homeschooled too. There was a surprising amount of opposition from family and teachers we knew.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 08:22 PM
2

Luxury my eye. What I mean is, that basically wouldn't have been possible if I had been on a poor wage.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 01:42 AM
2

Then I look at the people doing the most damage in America. The list is overwhelmingly men. The politicians attacking democratic institutions, the billionaires creating predatory platforms, the tech bros trying to build libertarian tax-haven islands in the ocean, the grifters selling misogyny for profit—overwhelmingly men. You're right, but also unwittingly playing right into their hands. This isn't an issue of men vs women the way you are framing it (where men = bad). It's an issue of 99% vs 1%…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 11:23 PM
2

most modern men want their female partners to work I think that's just the financial reality for most young families today. Unless one income is high enough that you can afford the luxury of having one partner stay home with the kids, both parents NEED to work. That's not the pathway I took, but a combination of me having an above average income and us being very frugal meant that we were MERELY in the 30th percentile for household income in our area as a single income family.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 08:19 PM
2

But if you’re struggling to find dates, and already have the rest of your life in relative order, your best chances will come by intentionally doing things with the purpose of getting a date out of them. You're absolutely right, but I think it's also true that you should put effort into making your life one that you like regardless of your relationship status. You want to be happy being you. You know how being desperate and needy is a complete turnoff? The opposite of that is being secure in you…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:30 AM
1

Sure, but part of that was being thoughtful in my profile. "I want women to engage with my profile, what are the sorts of 'hooks' i can put in there that they will engage with?"
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 08:02 PM
1

due to current-day dating dynamics and norms being what they are (primarily men are the active party and do the majority of approaching) any real change needs to come from women I don't agree with that. I think that some of the things that women do on the apps men should do as well. I certainly didn't act thirsty and was more than happy for women to approach me, and the couple of times I have used the apps, they did. I know the redpill answer for that is that somehow I'm a chad with mad game, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 09:27 PM
1

Modern conservatism is regressive, aka to the 1950s, not literally conservative. They wish to change the status quo Eh, do they, or do they just want to reverse things they see as mistakes?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 01:14 AM
-2

The red pill is avowedly apolitical because they do not wish to change anything that's a distinctly conservative position, not an apolitical one.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 12:00 AM
1

Are women 'more valuable'? Or do men just have more testosterone?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:00 PM
3

I felt similarly alone as my marriage was ending. I decided to consciously take up hobbies and try to build friend groups. Having a social support network can really help you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 11:14 PM
1

I mean, I agree, but I think it's irrelevant and doesn't support OP's thesis that "men are not a monolith but women are". Both men and women are bell curves, that largely overlap.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 08:23 PM
1

I don't think the difference is significant enough to treat them as two different populations. I think the mull hypothesis (that men and women can be treated equally) is still the default.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 08:11 PM
7

the bell curve for men is much flatter than the bell curve for women. I think it's ever so slightly flatter. Not MUCH flatter.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:01 AM
9

No but if one triangle is bigger than another, it's absurd to suggest that the smaller triangle is a point.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:01 AM
11

The smartest people are more likely to be men, the dumbest people are more likely to be men. The richest and most powerful people are more likely to be men, the poorest and homeless are more likely to be men. So, men are a bell curve. And women are a bell curve. So NEITHER of them is a monolith and attempts to claim that by either side are bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:27 PM
1

Because of that, I don't see the benefit of living together without the legal and social commitment of marriage. Counterpoint: How can you truly know someone when you're still not enmeshed in each others lives? I young Christian couple I know 'did everything right' and didn't have sex or live together before marriage, only for it to quickly become a disaster. I think she moved out less than 6 months after the honeymoon ended. They were both kids really. I think it would be much better if they we…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 09:14 PM
3

I want to know what are common reasons for divorce? How can we reduce the chances of divorce as a man? What steps can we take after marriage as a man that the possibility of divorce doesn't occur from our side One thing I have seen a lot online is women bitching about having to carry the 'mental load'. But the reality is that only one person really has their brain all over a task. For example, I did all of the grocery shopping, and one unintended side effect was that I knew where EVERYTHING in t…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 10:19 PM
6

A lot of debate and discussion in this community centers around how men need to be married and in a relationship much more than women I think it's more that men generally aren't socialised to have an emotional support network outside of a romantic relationship. So when they are single they ARE lonelier than many single women, who still have fulfilling friendships to lean on. the numbers definitely show men gain a lot more from being with women than the other way around. I think that both men and…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 08:40 PM
6

not initiate emotional relationship talks, long apologies, or “is there still hope?” conversations; I would go further than this. The person you were in a relationship, the person you loved, that person is dead. What you now have to do is mourn the loss of that person, mourn the loss of your shared future, and come to terms with amicable-but-distant co-parenting with this new stranger who is going to be having your kids half the time.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 08:15 PM
3

This was how I thought about it. The person you know, the person you thought you were married, that person is dead. Now you're waking up to your new reality of co-parenting with this stranger. Mourn the death of that person. Mourn the death of your relationship. And work out how to relate to this new stranger..
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 10:13 PM
2

Are people less confident now? I think that's a very marginal point. I do think that as a generalisation women are more prone to anxiety, and having a confident partner can help women be less anxious. That's my take on the value of confidence for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 10:10 PM
3

Comparison is the thief of joy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 08:20 PM
5

I don't think she's referring to men when she says that. She's referring to the 'auto-swipers' that ruin online dating for both men and women by destroying women's inboxes and obscuring all of the genuine men's swipes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 09:22 PM
4

If a profile has 2,000 men who have expressed interest, it strains credibility to claim there aren't hundreds of men on your level among them. So, I am not a woman but I do have an anecdote from a woman who dabbled in online dating. I'm commenting specifically because she got 2000 matches, like the example you describe. She found 2000 matches overwhelming. So she culled down to 500. Then Down to 200. Then down to 100. Then down to 50. Then down to 20. Sounds great right? 20 matches! Who wouldn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 09:12 PM
1

I think there's a problem in this sub where 'dating' seems to be conflated with 'dating 24 year olds'. Those two things are not the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:19 PM
1

Which brings me to what I concluded long time ago, why bother getting married? Fundamentally I think it's a financial vehicle to protect women while they birth and raise children. Therein lies the problem. Different standards for commitment Eh, I thought 'until death do us part' too, but it doesn't take much to see that that's unworkable when your spouse wants out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 01:51 AM
1

Eh, I don't think that people necessarily are shackled to their partner for life. I think it's more like a job. You're committed to the job when you sign up, but it's not indentured servitude - you're allowed to quit if you want. Getting divorced is basically quitting your marriage. Do you really want to stay married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you?
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 10:14 PM
5

Yep. One woman I dated a few years ago invited me over to dinner at her place. "Nothing is going to happen tonight" she said as I walked in. Ok, that's fine. The next day she grilled me on why I didn't "make a move" anyway. Consent means very different things for some people.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 08:53 PM
1

Not in my case. I had more than a couple sleepless nights as I realised that the previous roadmap of what I thought my future would hold and what our relationship would be was stillborn. Once you don't have hope for a future with them it shifts into more logistical things, like making sure the kids are supported and loved, and that your ex can transition to a new normal, while also that being something THEY need to own not you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 11:00 PM
1

But when a woman says she checked out a long time ago but never said anything, all of us should push back against that excuse. Why do you think it's an excuse? It's something that I worked through on my own (while still married), all while she was still equivocating and having her words not match her actions. Being checked out isn't necessarily a gendered thing. None of us, not even women, are mind readers. Correct. Why do you think that means someone can't check out on a marriage? That seems un…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 09:03 PM
4

Is dating better for women? I think dating is pretty miserable for everyone. I think that women now are in better relationships generally, because there are fewer pressures to stay in bad relationships. And that's a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 08:58 PM
7

I think it takes 1-2 years to grieve the loss of your relationship. However, for the person who pulls the plug on the relationship, they have ALREADY started that process while the relationship was still in its death throes. That's why someone can be capable of jumping into a new relationship relatively quickly after the ending of the previous one. They have already 'done the work' to be in a good space to be a good partner.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 08:45 PM
14

Works pretty well for my sister, although they do lean on au-pairs and the like.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:48 AM
3

Have some self respect. You should put your effort into wanting someone who will want you back.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 02:39 AM
–

Stop pretending that a 55/45 split is a 100/0 split.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:46 AM
1

I think you mean Americans decided to make a fat orange rapist 1 percenter their leader.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:31 AM
1

r/bestof
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 11:05 PM
0

So my specific question is, what can progressives (or any political group) do for young men? Stop saying "the problem is cis het white men" when what you really mean is "the problem is the 1%". That's a good start I think. Words matter. Stop saying to young men "The problem is YOU. You're the enemy" Because after a while some of them will start to believe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 10:39 PM
2

I agree with everything you say. In terms of 'what can be done', I think that in schools right now there's very much been a sea change about how unacceptable bullying is now. When I was a kid I probably got in a fight once a week. Never got suspended. It was just treated as normal. But now it's absolutely something which is regarded as problematic and there's a big response to it. I think rethinking what positive masculinity is and modelling it in schools, particularly the younger schools can go…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 10:38 PM
4

The issue is listing the specific problems faced by men disproportionately that are not a result of personal choices and can be remedied by policy changes. I think not every problem can necessarily be addressed by a policy change. For example, I think the common problem many women face in relationships is the 'mental load' that is thrust upon them. That's something that is worthy of being raised and discussed even if there's no obvious smoking gun that government can pass a regulation for that w…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 09:01 PM
4

Well, one of them that isn't a massive thing but has the problem of compounding every other problem men have is the empathy gap. People don't have empathy for men or their legitimate problems, and I'm not talking about stuff like online dating behaviour. I think that mens biggest problem is that the are socialised into being emotionally stunted, which in my subjective experience is enforced HARD in 5 year olds when they go to school. 'Boys don't cry' etc etc. That then turns into a bunch of stoi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:39 PM
1

men’s problem of men not able to get women to have as much sex as they want and feeling upset about things like that I can see why you would think that's what mens problems are given how frequently it's framed that way by all the horny frustrated young guys on here. I personally think that whatever inequality exists on the dating scene, it is so far down the priority list as to be non-existent. I think the biggest problems men face are being socialised into being emotionally retarded - being pun…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:34 PM
0

"I strongly believe something is missing within the advice of work on yourself to find love." Work on yourself, so you can be happier in life. 'Being happier' might come within the context of finding a romantic partner, but it might not. Take a page out of womens playgroup, where lots of older women are single and seemingly thriving. They are finding meaning in their life, pursuing hobbies they enjoy, friendships that enrich their life. Men can do all of that too, and if they do? They will be a …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 04:25 AM
3

You would think that being more knowledgeable would lead to more success in subsequent marriages, but you could argue that the baggage and becoming jaded also work against you in the same manner. Everyone picks up baggage as they age. When you're ready to date again, you're searching for a life partner with 'matching baggage' so to speak. I can see myself getting married to my current gf, but we're taking things really slow, since we both have kids we are solo parents to. Essentially she's waiti…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 02:53 AM
4

I think the change that's made it harder is primarily due to the societal shift towards consuming more internet content. Primarily social media bringing about echo chambers (which tend to suffer from the problem of 'reinforcing group think', debate subs like this are a rare exception). But also because people's hobbies now are less 'going and playing in a sports league' and more 'doom scrolling on tiktok'. How DO you meet women from inside your own living room that you never leave? It's much mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 09:59 PM
1

Meetups: In my city they are mostly women standing around wondering where the men are. Dance lessons: I dated a woman briefly who was into dancing, and let me tell you, it was an 80/20 type situation where I would be run ragged dancing with all of the unpartnered women. Mutual friends - is and has always been the best alternative to the apps. Knowing someone who knows someone means that they are already partially vetted. For all it's faults, dating apps still gives you access to the widest range…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 09:24 PM
8

Nah, he's full of shit. It might be true of SOME men (sounds like it's true of him, for example). From an Islamic perspective, am I being naive, or is my husband being overly cynical? The truth is somewhere in the middle. Some of the time he will be right about that man. A lot of the time he won't.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 08:49 PM
4

> Did you personally want to become a father, or was having children something your partner wanted more strongly and you agreed to? I LOVE kids and babies. > Do the benefits of marriage and parenthood outweigh the loss of freedom and the added responsibilities? Depends on how much sleep you got the night before and how much financial pressure you are under. If you have a comfortable life then kids add to it. Seems more and more like the social contract is broken though..... > People often say th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 03:20 AM
7

It's funny, someone that knew us both before and after divorce said one day 'now you're separated both your houses are clean???'. I mean, not having the kids for a week lets you reset the house to a baseline tidiness that they can't completely undo when they are with you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 02:30 AM
19

Your kids come first, and a single mom who also thinks that about her own kids is the most understanding and compatible.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 08:07 PM
1

> The only way to get a girlfriend, is to approach women. Counterpoint: I met my girlfriend on online dating, and she messaged me first.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 03:20 AM
2

Anger is good, it's your nervous system giving you a burst of adrenaline and energy, which you should use to change your situation. The worst use of anger is to direct it towards other people. Use it to improve your life.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 04:25 AM
8

I think our society punishes and represses bisexuality in men while allowing it in women. It makes sense that something that is punishes is much more closeted or less visible. All you're really seeing is that women are ALLOWED to express their sexuality more. > Also, don’t forget that straight girls are enjoying to kiss each other and make physical contact. This is completely cultural, other cultures it's ok and normal for men to make physical contact with each other too.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:16 AM
3

They way we did it I assumed ALL household costs and responsibilities, and she paid a nominal board to sleep in the spare bedroom. That was the status quo for a few months until the financial separation agreement was signed and activated, at which point I took out a really big mortgage on the house to buy her out and pay her her half of the split assets. She moved out shortly after that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 11:32 PM
4

I guess I initiated. I'm the one that said 'I feel like I'm watching my marriage end' and she instantly agreed. And yes, much happier now. Financially I'm more precarious (had to take out a $500K mortgage to pay her out of the house) but I am super happy with my current girlfriend, she ticks all my boxes. My life is better now but I think that's also due to being in a different life stage. My youngest is 11 now. When he was 2 things were very different and generally more sucky. I have more time …
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 11:25 PM
4

I don't hate women, but what OP describes has been part of my journey from blue to pink, so to speak. Realising that there's a non-trivial number of women and feminists who say they hate men has a negative effect on my life from afar, just like how I imagine the presence of men who say they hate women has a negative effect on women who read about it, it's a kind of existential threat to you. And yes, #NOTALLFEMINISTS but always a feminist. And once I went down the rabbit hole, I found things lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 10:25 PM
1

It’s based on many males narrative that sex is sth degrading to women. I think that purity culture is behind basically all of this. I think it's bullshit, but also not gendered. You seem to think that this is something that men do to women, but it's a societal attitude, not gendered. Women have those same toxic attiotudes as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 12:17 AM
5

> In my case, I am willing to give my all to the first physically healthy woman who gives me a chance. I'm not. I want a woman who is kind, intelligent, enthusiastic, and has a compatible sense of humour, matching values regarding finances, stable job, libido etc. Appearance is way down my list of requirements. > I believe most men are the same, we just aren't given that chance. Or, you don't meet her additional requirements about being financially responsible, able to do housework, make sure SH…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:22 AM
1

Kinks are weird. I have a working theory that we have a powerful emotional reaction when our core values are being transgressed. So for example, conservatives value 'family values' strongly. They have a stronger reaction to all of the incest 'step sister' porn out there. Progressives value autonomy highly, therefore they have a stronger reaction to the bdsm side of kink stuff. Does that make any sense to anyone? "Why do men view sex as degrading and degrade the women who have sex with them?" I t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:37 PM
1

"Not all men but always a man" is a shotgun blast that deals me incidental damage even if I'm not one of those men. To me it's a supporting statement for every other blanket pejorative about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:27 PM
–

I had this chat with my girlfriend last year. Our consensus was that there were two massive benefits to relationships that friendships don't provide: physical intimacy and reduced costs from cohabiting.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 02:52 AM
1

> Do you use certain strategies to get what you want during dating? I'm a little leery about what you mean by 'certain strategies' but speaking as an older person whose marriage ended 5 years ago, I certainly looked at online dating with some trepidation. I definitely didn't go down RP strategies though. I decided on the following: * I wanted women who would be at least 50/50 in terms of effort and engagement. The internet says 'but nobody will contact you' and if so, I'm ok with that (spoiler: …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 10:08 PM
1

I agree 100%
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 12:54 AM
16

I think that trans experiences of gender are fascinating because they have seen how both sides play out, albeit with a bias towards their current gender. That said, I don't see any real evidence in this post that male loneliness is self inflicted, or how it relates to trans men. I think that men are socialised to be stoic, to sacrifice for the family etc. I know that my social circle shrank to nothing when my children were little because every hour that I was not at work I needed to be at home t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 02:33 AM
1

For sure, but I think it also hits some more general tropes. When I was the sole income earner, we had a shared bank account I thought nothing of it. But somehow once she started earning, my money was our money and her money was her money. That's something I have head of online and was shocked to see play out in my life. The other reason I posted it is that there's a stereotype of the mum as being there for the family and kids and the dad being checked out. But that's not true in my N=1 experien…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:48 PM
2

But then how come when we talk about division of labor all of the sudden men's work is more important than women's? When I was still married to my now ex wife, she was a SAHM. When our youngest started school, she got a part time job. But she FIERCELY resisted working 5 days a week or more hours because she had gotten into her 'coffee routines' with her friends and she wanted to protect that time. Now that we are divorced and have the kids week on week off, suddenly she's a completely inflexible…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:36 PM
2

One thing you'll hear a lot is this: Men own a majority of wealth and capital, therefore men are privileged compared to women. Now what men are we talking about here? We're talking about an extremely tiny proportion of billionaires. Yup. This is the 1% using wedge politics to make themselves safe and deflect from discussions about wealth inquality and themselves. It's EXACTLY the same as republicans convincing poor rural whites that their enemy is people of colour and educated 'elites' in the ci…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:30 PM
1

Sure, if someone wants to be single that's an entirely valid choice. But let's say I don't want to date black women, just as a hypothetical example. Everyone is ALLOWED their preferences and there's nothing wrong with that. But to go about trumpting that I would never do that, comes across as a bit racist doesn't it? Or people ranting about gold diggers. I assume they have baggage from previous relationships that makes them that way. But it doesn't mean that it's fair to tar ALL women with the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:25 PM
0

The thing is when we talk about crimes, we know that not all men, we just don't know which. Oh totally. I'm fully aware that when I'm going on a first date with a woman the extra security things she might do like checking in with a friend, since I am an unknown. At the same time however, sometimes it does seem like #KILLALLMEN, which is a tiny bit like taking a bath in low level acid. It's not killing you, but it is unpleasant and something that wears at you. What I am talking about is something…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:05 PM
31

When women say they don’t see the value of having a man in their life Something can be true, and also not need to be said. Why would you say that? If men said something equivalent they would be called misogynists. So using that as an argument is disingenuous. Especially when the man making it isn’t the one who built anything, but still expects some kind of bonus simply for having a sausage. I agree, it's very disingenous to extend from man -> men. However, I do see that all the time 'men commit …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 12:00 AM
1

Not to stability. I think as people get older they pick up emotional baggage. I think it's entirely possible that women who have been in unstable relationships before value stability far higher than someone who doesn't have the same baggage.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 10:02 PM
9

The 1% is winning the gender wars. They invented wedge politics to distract the 99% and convince them to go after other groups that aren't them. Men vs women, straights vs gays, cis vs trans, blacks vs white, all of these issues are things that the 1% absolutely doesn't care about at all, other than as a smokescreen so that the discussion isn't about them and wealth inequality.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 10:27 PM
7

I think the psychosis speaks to how she was essentially 'stealth trans', in the sense that she was a woman playing at being in a mans body. But she definitely identified problems with 'being a man' that she didn't like, most particularly how women treated 'him'.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:57 AM
-2

I take it you're unaware of 'Self made man' by Norah Vincent?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:45 AM
1

If you hate women What the what? I think the windmills you are tilting at are thataway.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 06:05 AM
0

Here’s the thing capitalism is a reinforcing system of the patriarchy, as capitalism exploits already existing patriarchal structures while the patriarchy provide unpaid domestic labor, gender wage gaps, and submissive labor force to prop up capitalism. The 1% are who exploits the rest. Their most masterful invention is wedge politics. That's convincing the 99% that their problems lie with OTHER members of the 99%. Men vs women, white vs black, straight vs gay, cis vs trans, these are ALL exampl…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 12:04 AM
5

I agree that men do need to deconstruct and reject problematic aspects of patriarchy. However, there's a strong element of 'men suck' in the 'patriarchy sucks' discourse, and I can see why that deters men. I think that it's entirely possible that 'patriarchy' is the wrong framing of the structural societal issues that it represents. I think that the actual problem is the capitalist systems set up by the 1% to benefit themselves over the last few hundred years. Labelling it as 'patriarchy' is har…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 09:43 PM
7

Well, yes. There's a thing I read a while back that for most men, their only emotional support network is their partner. But for most women, if their only emotional support was their partner, wouldn't regard themselves as having an emotional network at all. It's difficult since men aren't socialised that way, so even if you, the 'emotionally retarded man' who desires to build an emotional support network, all the men around you who might conceivably make up that network also have the same limite…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:55 PM
1

all of a sudden they lifted my shadow ban and I had dozens of matches within a day Maybe you were ranked low, one woman who was trawling through all of the profiles liked you, then that like jumped up your profile in terms of desirability, making it much more visible to other women who hadn't descended into the depths of the male profiles the same way your first unicorn did? Just a guess but if I was attempting to codify 'desirability' that's the sort fo line I would go down.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:33 PM
9

men are the more "vulnerable" sex in terms of singlehoods downsides Yep. To me this SCREAMS 'emotional support networks' women not in a relationship still get emotional support from their friendships with other women. Men.... do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:29 PM
3

For me, I read all the horror stories about how men have to swipe on everything, and get nothing in return. So I decided that for me I was going to select for women who swiped on ME. I met my girlfriend about 3 years ago, still going strong. I challenge you to come up with a pro autonomy, ethical way to make dating ‘fair’ As a man, my goal in making my profile was to try and trigger engagement from women. I'm not trying to attract EVERY woman. I actively want to filter out women who aren't good …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:27 PM
1

Posting here since I'm not RP. I had two times that I 'gave up' but technically that's not really true. Both times I had come out of long term relationships, and in my head I needed to be single for about a year to process residual feelings about my ex. Each time once I decided I was ready a new relationship cropped up. and about their subsequent journey? The first time, shortly after I decided I was ready I randomly met a woman who was the roomate of my brother, who lived in a different town. W…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 08:31 PM
1

Only if you are a hypocrite. I think that 'with regards to sex' what makes a person valuable in my eyes is being enthusiastic.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 08:10 PM
2

You can’t I can't what? how easily a man gets sex shows his value Ew. Who are you 'showing your value' to? Does being a male porn star seem aspirational to you? If you’ve never had casual sex, you’re always below her. Nah, casual sex isn't some sort of holy grail you should spend your life pursuing and distort your personality around an apparent lack thereof.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 08:08 PM
12

It's sexist in the sense that you're treating them differently from how you would treat a man, just because she's a woman. It's POSITIVE sexism, but it's still sexism. And it does come with negative side effects as well. If a man is constantly helping a women coworker with her job, that might create the impression that she isn't competent to do her job unassisted.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 08:05 PM
4

most men are also looking for the benefits of patriarchy What patriarchy benefits are men looking for?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 07:58 PM
14

It's benevolent sexism, as OP says in the title. And yeah, of course women would like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 07:57 PM
1

using women for sex This feels like a disingenuous framing. Presumably shes into the sex too? Surely sex is a co-op activity?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:37 PM
3

you won’t accept the type of women you will get by being super cheap on dates? No I actively want to select for an equal partner. That doesn't mean never paying as you suggest but it does mean being reciprocal. My current girlfriend, our first two dates were coffee dates, our third was walking her dog on the beach, our fourth was a picnic in the botanical gardens. immediate sex is using you, then you might not like women in general. The subtext of this reads to me as 'men that have any sort of p…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:08 PM
2

What do you think are the biggest weaknesses in criticism of the manosphere (or male-side gender discourse more broadly) Men say they are lonely - "nobody is ENTITLED to sex". Men have worse mental health, higher rates of suicide and lower life expectancy in general - "You don't get to complain, you have all the privilege". Sometimes I think that there's willful strawmanning of positions. How could it be improved so it addresses real problems more effectively? I think just acknowledging that som…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 11:46 PM
9

I think you are ignoring several valuable things about being in hobbies: They improve your social skills, since you are interacting with more people. That means when you happen upon a woman you are interested in, you are better at talking, better at being friendly, have a topic of interest to talk about etc etc Having friends provides some of the social support benefits that being in a relationship provides. I think that having an emotional support networks outside of their romantic partnership …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 08:03 PM
–

a room of very bright people will usually be male dominated. This was true in 1970 simply because women didn't have the same opportunities to prove they were very bright.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 10:44 PM
–

It's a 'motte and bailey' right?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 10:41 PM
5

As I get older and engage more with the real world, I find myself less convinced that women inherently have it easier in the dating landscape than men. The struggles feel roughly equal for both sides. The one point I do agree with in the common claim—“women find most men invisible”—is that men tend to keep their distance from most women unless they’re interested in pursuing something sexual or romantic. I think it's as simple as the asymmetry of attention. When I was getting divorced and creatin…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 07:24 PM
7

I want you to crave me while I dont give a fuck about you, because it stroke my ego Straw man successfully defeated.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 07:14 PM
4

I think that the more accurate term is 'Mental Load', and I think it definitely is real, although like OP I think that it is overblown. I divorced a couple of years ago, and dreaded all of the 'mental load' list that my (ex) wife had been carrying that would now fall on me. Turns out that dr visits etc they send you a reminder. Bills you can set up on autopay, I maybe manually pay 3 bills a year (mostly insurance). About the only 'new' chores that I didn't used to do are cleaning the toilet and …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 08:26 PM
1

You can't choose your parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 10:00 PM
3

I don't think we are unicorns.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 11:54 PM
2

Nah, the patriarchy is real, to the extent that it's systemic disadvantages against women. Here's one example: My wife and I had shared accounts, everything. When we separated headed for divorce, I assumed that I needed to book an appointment with the bank to take her off things like our joint credit card. But no, it turns out that I can unilaterally cancel her credit card just via a phone call (she could not do the same for me). Women get victim points by claiming they are being oppressed under…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 08:19 PM
–

This “group” often grips men by the balls and tells them they have a solution to why we’re struggling in dating and instead of telling us to put the needs of women on par with everything else they tell you to disregard all of that and compete with women to control them some how, because women seek a leader to follow etc. etc. This is true, but it's also true that a great filter for a prospective girlfriend is what she thinks about the 'man vs bear' debate. My current girlfriend does a LOT of hik…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 07:50 PM
1

There are a plethora of men here who constantly bring up how women can't understand them, can't experience what they do, etc. How women are unsympathetic to men. I think that EVERYONE is unsympathetic to men, and that includes women. All generously spiced up with bitterness and how it's crucial, but women refused to do that simple thing for men. I think it's more that it's important to acknowledge that the 'empathy gap' is a real thing, that it's an inequality that negatively affects men, and th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 12:27 AM
5

It's the same reason why you don't give a company negative feedback in your exit interview when you leave them - there's no upside for you in doing it, and potentially negative ramifications to doing so.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 12:00 AM
1

What does it mean for a man to have options? Did he cultivate them? Because to me that's walking down the pathway to infidelity and cheating. On average there have to be 7 different points of failure before an aeroplane crashes and kills everyone onboard. 'Cultivating options' is a cheating pathway failure even if you haven't cheated yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:06 PM
–

This usually happens because the man either has more priors or his priors are more violent This is pure conjecture and opinion. There have been studies and they ALL find that when you adjust for everything except gender, women get shorter and lighter sentences than men. So your thesis is incorrect. That said, I DO think that there's about 5% of men who are essentially menaces to society. They commit over 50% of all violent crime and are basically the guys who women are screening against when the…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 07:16 PM
4

Social Media influencers are a far cry from 'all women'.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 03:13 AM
9

Women don't set up their male friends with any of their female friends, even the ones willing to be a WingWoman are terrible at it. Speaking as a man that got divorced in the last 5 years, this take is incorrect. At least one woman I know was throwing her single friends at me. Women wont get into fights with us and aren't willing to end up in a wheelchair for us. Uh.... Is this something you want? I don't even want ME to be in a fight, and I've far more capable of being in physical danger than b…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 03:10 AM
0

A group of male friends who are all virgins aren’t particularly happy. The key bit missing I guess is how the things you take into your life as inputs shape you. The things which shape you in positive ways are good for you and you should actively cultivate more of them in your life. The things which are bad for you you should actively prune out of your life in order to let other better things grow in your 'life garden'.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 07:24 PM
1

That is great. It's something that I'm consciously working on myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 07:18 PM
0

I think that most men will tell you that having a flesh and blood partner to touch that one is attracted to is a much better experience than just masturbating to whatever. Sure, just like most women would agree with that sentiment. I actually think that mens problems are that they don't have an emotional connection or support from non-romantic settings though the way that women do. I think that the solution that works for women could also work for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 07:18 PM
1

Well sure, but I think that OP’s point that it’s much easier for men to be dissatisfied single because it is so much harder for men to put in the work to have the sexual experiences that women have is a valid one. Is it valid? I mean, what's the alternative to having a sexual partner? Masturbation? Is that really so horrible? (I think masturbation is kinda awesome). Women have their own problems, of course. They tend to not be respected in society as much as men are, for instance, and they put h…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 08:46 PM
-2

I think to a greater or lesser extent, we're sold a lie about how the world should work in a lot of ways. Sometimes kids die when they are 14. Sometimes they get cancer when they are 25. Sometimes they work night shift jobs and stay single and friendless well into their middle age. Sometimes they die sleeping rough in their 60s. It's nobodies fault that the way you thought things should work isn't how they actually work. There's no conspiracy. Instead, YOU are the architect of your fate. You hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 08:00 PM
1

Nah, it's as simple as women tending to have more social networks of friends, so they have an actual support system OUTSIDE of a romantic relationship. Whereas for most men, they don't have a support network that isn't their family or their spouse. To me the solution is simple, guys need to build more and better friend networks, and spend more effort maintaining them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 07:28 PM
2

it stops them from seeing who the women they are chasing really are Everybody has other an idea of what other people are like in their head. If you are too myopic then you have an idealised version of them that doesn't match reality well. I agree you shouldn't do that. they will very quickly realise how shallow and boring many women are As are most men. Dating has a huge overlap with finding a friend, which isn't gender specific. You want to find someone you get along with, who you like, who lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 08:14 PM
11

Kind of, but not really. I think there's a problem some women have when men won't 'respect their no', and I think part of that problem is other women who WANT men to 'push past the no'.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 09:41 PM
26

Men really need to unlearn this idea that persistence equals value. So, while I totally agree with this post and it's topic, I also think that there are some women who EXPECT that. I was dating a woman a couple of years ago who invited me over to dinner, saying playfully 'nothing's going to happen tonight'. I respected her boundaries and nothing did happen. The next day I got grilled by her as to why I didn't make a move anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 07:35 PM
–

most men, especially conservative men still want families so fertility is a real concern. Right, but when those men were 25 and wanting families, what happened? Why didn't they start their family then? Them being 37 dating a 21 year old seems almost predatory.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 07:04 PM
4

We've been shamed out of a natural, core human emotion. Speaking as someone who doesn't get jealous really, I must disagree. I mean, back in the day, when my gf admitted that she kissed someone else, I didn't get jealous. We just broke up. I also know how to be protective. When my gf and I were out on a hike, a fairly decent branch was falling and would have struck her on the head that I managed to catch, giving me a 'superman' moment. By labelling a man's natural, protective setting of boundari…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 08:45 PM
0

life experience is not as big of a draw for men as it is for women when it comes to the opposite sex Should it be? with age there's usually also baggage that comes with it Absolutely. So young women should think of that as a warning flag for older men right? young women are generally better socialized than men Totally agree. That's something men should work on irregardless of their relationship status. there's also just the biological reality. women are generally most attracted to men around the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 07:26 PM
0

personally i know that i'm a much better partner at 35 than i was at 21 Sure but isn't that true for women too? Everyone grows up.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 08:56 PM
-1

it doesn't matter what you find hot because all of it seems unobtainable to you Do you also hate sunsets because you can never own the sun? I think being able to appreciate beauty is unrelated to whether you can be in a relationship with that person. Unfortunately, for men, sex is seen as proof that they are good enough to be in society. This is just rubbish. Men need to take a leaf out of the legions of single women (who are ALSO told by society that they are worthless unless they have bagged a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 07:53 PM
1

At the very least, let's not deny that women in their 20s are, on average, more attractive than older women. The trouble I have with this is that, those women are going to get older, right? If you're only wanting to be with them until they are 25 or whatever, it's more like you're renting them than in an actual relationship. In addition, where there's an imbalance in a relationship such as life experience, the more experienced partner could potentially take advantage of the less experienced one.…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 07:35 PM
–

Yeah. It's easy and tempting to blame other people for your problems, but thats generally both wrong and counterproductive.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 10:40 PM
–

Hey, I am not in any way defending conservatives or promoting their worldview. I regard myself as being progressive all the way. I just think that mens issues can kinda be a blindspot to some on the left. It's a nuanced conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 09:12 PM
–

This was brought up because I’m tired of hearing that women have no empathy for men because they roll their eyes at this topic. I think that's sorta true, but also, not really. My personal experience talking to a feminist woman about how mens mental health was really bad and there were not enough targetted programs which actually met their needs, her response was "there's only a limited amount of funding for mental health services, so I can't support anything that would help men specifically bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 08:53 PM
1

I'm not denying that it happens. I just don't think it's the best way of raising children.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 10:15 PM
1

I guess it comes from my own experience, my parents are very conservative and have never really talked to me about stuff like this, not even about sexual consent, sexual boundaries or basic sex ed, as you mentioned. They’re not bad people, it’s just not a thing in our culture. So your argument is 'it was good enough for me...."?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 08:47 PM
3

It’s your job to figure out social attraction and dynamics, whether that’s learning to make friends or getting laid or finding a partner. Beyond generic advice and basic platitudes, this journey is your own to figure out. Right, and TRP has answers to those questions, albeit twisted and toxic ones. This whole sub exists essentially trying to debunk TRP or validate the parts of it which are correct and prevent incell-lite men from going down the rabbit hole. A common sentiment on here is that men…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 08:05 PM
3

And being kind and emotionally stable is not something women care about in order to have sex. For sure, but they are characteristics necessary for most women to want to be in a relationship with you. Like attracts like. Would you want to be in a relationship with a woman who wasn't kind or emotionally stable?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 08:35 PM
2

We need to get one thing straight - jack is pursuing women who have similar attributes to him. Is he really? Are the women who he is going for earning $150K a year? The traditional gender roles BS says that his job is to stump up with the money, NOT the looks. The looks are her job.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 07:34 PM
4

I think all women should settle for a man like Jack I don't think we know enough about Jack. Is he kind? Emotionally stable? Those aspects of his person were glaringly absent from the profile but I think that almost every women out there will care about that, and regard their lack as red flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 07:32 PM
1

The last petite hottie I’ve slept with was nine months ago and I’ve been on dates or short term flings with a few dozen women since then. So it’s certainly not a skill issue. Is it more of a skill to sleep with them once or to KEEP sleeping with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 07:30 PM
0

I'd argue a segment of the male population today with the most underated frustration is men who have worked on / improved themselves and had very good progress, but are unable to crack the (trademark) "top 10%" of men. Nah, this is just guys who have two delusions. Firstly, that the goal in life is to be 'swimming in pussy'. And secondly, that THEY are above average, and thus deserve to get some. Your 'example' lists some good qualities, but greatly overrates being physically fit (at a point tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 07:27 PM
1

Comparison is the thief of joy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 10:45 PM
7

Sex is about pleasuring your partner. Because it's usually women perpetuating this narrative that women don't enjoy sex The clear subtext here is that they know men who DON'T pleasure their partner - i.e. those men are terrible at sex. It's dark humour, making a joke out of something that's bleak and sad when you're actually experiencing it. And it's the fact that women also demonize male sexuality too. I agree that this is a problem. But it's not the same thing as women having sex with men who …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 08:00 PM
6

My marriage ended a handful of years ago, and when I decided to get back on the horse I carefully selected for a woman who matched my energy. I have NO desire to be in a relationship where I was the pursuer and she was the princess. If everyone- men and women, act like the only way to attract the opposite sex is to appear as least interested as possible Correct. You should want someone who is interested in you just as much as you are interested in them. People should be open about how they feel …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 07:37 PM
2

I don't think I said that?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 02:23 AM
2

You're asking why women are more likely to be the primary caregiver? The infant needs to be breastfed It's what everyone expects
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 02:15 AM
2

Of course not, it's just that it's the distinct minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 10:57 PM
4

It does when you factor in that women are the default primary parent for little people. There's a permanent earnings penalty baked into being the primary caregiver who then goes back to work. I'm recently divorced and I was ruminating on how my life has changed and how it hasn't changed since then. Basically the invaluable indispensable role my ex-wife played doesn't exist any more, since our children aren't preschoolers. I'm the person who is taking them to Drs visits and school meetings (altho…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 09:26 PM
-1

1) boys are graded harsher than girls, even for the same quality of assignment By all teachers, regardless of gender. So no, you're wrong. There are systemic inequalities which affect boys in the education system, but it's not female teachers who are to blame. It's basically an overcorrection of the inequalities that girls faced in the education system. Basically there was too long holding boys back and advancing girls to the point where the correction has created inequality the other way.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 12:45 AM
5

Yeah. I think women get better quality orgasms in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 08:57 PM
2

I don't get this narrative at all. I think agreeable doormats of all genders finish last.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 08:44 PM
3

What are the causes for the change? For me, it's the idea that women aren't some prize to be pursued. I want a woman who is an equal partner, who is prepared to show interest herself, rather than be a passive princess. What would make you chase a women more? Nothing. The real question is, what would make women chase the men they are interested in more?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 05:42 AM
1

Yeah, I think that's roughly correct. Do you think that happens voting for progressive parties? I feel like in a democratic sense both the left and the right have been completely captured by oligarchs. The only difference is when the right is in there's chaos and instability (so the oligarchs can accrue more wealth) and when the left is in there's stability and some form of social net (so the value stolen when the right was in is preserved).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 12:42 AM
1

Wait, you think the reason girls weren’t formally educated was because everyone thought they were stupid? They weren’t ALLOWED to go to school. Because they thought womens brains weren't strong enough (what they were fit for was homemaking and baby making, not thinky thinking). I agree that that was structural though. The left is here to challenge the structures that maintain the power of the ruling class. While I don't agree with that, even within that lens, theres a problem where the 1% has be…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 12:25 AM
0

Regarding the empathy gap and education gap, they are not "structural" in the same way that women's and girls issues were Eh, I think there was an idea that women were stupid back then that wasn't structural per se, just a widely held belief. And I think the empathy gap is the same wort of widely held belief. And the education gap is absolutely structural. If teachers do blind marking of students work, then the boys grades go up (girls it seems are graded fairly). There is absolutely a structura…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 09:27 PM
1

I disagree. I think that for the 99%, their enemy is the 1%. The 1% uses wedge politics (black vs white, men vs women, gay vs straight etc etc) as a smoke screen to keep the discussion off wealth inequality, which is the REAL issue. Sure there are an army of 'useful idiots' who are bigots and flock to support their banner, but the real goal is protecting their wealth and power. The 'woke left' is an astro-turfed term meant to mislead the right into thinking that things they don't understand or d…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 09:02 PM
5

It's not doing anything at all. My point is that your leftist men aren't turning to the right, they are withdrawing from politics and not voting because they think nobody represents them. The right pretends to solve their problem by telling them (lying) that their enemy is the 'woke left'.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 12:51 AM
11

polls are also consistently showing that young men are simultaneously completely turned off from the Democratic Party That's because the left tells them THEY are the problem, even when they are clearly not. Like, ffs. Most economic structural problems are due to capitalism, and the 1%. And most of the 1% have been straight white men. But it's monstrously disingenuous to suggest that straight white men are the problem just because they share an identity with the majority of the 1%. Because we ARE…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 11:18 PM
15

What are the men's issues that require radical acknowledgement in left wing spaces? Here's some off the top of my head: The empathy gap - empathy is not extended to men when women or children in the same position would receive empathy and support. That's a little bit like taking an acid bath for your mental health. It eats away at you. The education gap - Boys are now as disadvantaged at school as girls were in the 1960s. Back then we systematically identified and dismantled the structural advan…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 11:16 PM
1

And how often do you see Women actually conforming to these "standards" Well, I think that's social conditioning that most women break out of as they get older. THe more life experience they have the more obvious it is that that's not actually a good pathway. The subtext of your post seems to imply that you think it is a shame that women aren't conforming en masse?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 08:47 PM
3

I agree. I think social media is an equivalent feminine vice, comparable to men gaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 09:06 PM
-3

I don't think it's a huge problem that men and women are different. Why not celebrate it?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 08:52 PM
3

women heavily veered to the left of the political spectrum, especially in recent years I would argue that the overton window a a whole has shifted significantly to the right. ICE detention centers, guantanamo bay, a permanent majority on the supreme court, 'fake news', attempted insurrection, corruption etc. I think people from the 80s and 90s would be shocked by what's considered normal discourse now. Then you add in the fact that many « men’s » hobbies are seen with nothing with scorn and undi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 08:43 PM
0

the problem is that the early stages of courting are all on the man That's A problem that men face. I don't think it's the biggest problem in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 08:40 PM
1

The point is that it is the man who is expected to do all the initial initiation of the relationship. LITERALLY ALL OF IT. I think that's the prevailing cultural narrative, but it's not my n=1 experience. women do not need to do this The social conditioning for women is to be perpetually underweight, mostly silent, passive and agreeable people pleasers. That's a bit of a shit sandwich they get handed. So yes, there's less expectation for them to be aggressive or put themselves forwards, but wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 08:39 PM
7

I think this is wider than just dating. There's a kind of 'rewriting history' that justifies success and places some sort of moral value on people who succeed. Billionaires? Of course they deserve their wealth, they worked hard to get it. Men who can't attract women are immoral or evil I think those descriptions are emotionally charged overreactions. Men who can't get women are undesirable. deserve them based on natural selection I mean according to the premises of natural selection, this is tru…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 10:07 PM
2

I would understand the complaint if kind, driven, well adjusted men who contribute to their social networks and communities and value commitment and family were being overlooked—but that's often not the case. My N=1 agree with this. My marriage broke down a few years ago and both times I got on the apps I deleted or suspended my account because I was in a relationship before I felt my profile was full fleshed out. I think that everybody is some kind of weirdo. You're looking to find a compatible…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 12:08 AM
-2

The education system was created by men for men. That's not really true. Private education (prior to the industrial revolution) was, but public schooling as we know it was created to provide a daycare of sorts for the children of factory workers, and also make more compliant workers who wouldn't complain about work conditions as much as their parents. The only thing that really changed for men was that most schools aren't allowed to paddle kids anymore. That's just categorically incorrect. A lot…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 09:45 PM
5

Meanwhile, men bitch and moan about how nobody wants to help them and they do not even want to help each other. I think your post is almost completely correct, but this is a fairly negative framing of mens problems. One of the problems that men have is the empathy gap - people don't extend empathy to men the same way they would to everyone else. And your sentence seems to me like an example of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 09:34 PM
1

Men have not lost any rights. Do you think that feminism did good work in dismantling the systemic disadvantages girls faced in the public education system?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 09:31 PM
2

I don't think they care more, I think they just treat the two as equivalent. If life is a zero sum game (sometimes it is, most times it isn't) then everything you can take from men is something you can give to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 09:29 PM
2

I think that there's inequality that negatively affects women. I think it should be addressed. Does that make me a feminist? I also think that there's inequality that negatively affects men, which should also be addressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 08:44 PM
0

It's funny how everyone will go to leaps and bounds to justify why a fat person is deserving of sympathy I don't think cruelty is the alternative to sympathy. There's a middle ground you can walk with people who you don't agree with the choices they make. These same people will laugh at people like me for not controlling other people's attraction Nobody is laughing at you for that. Nobody. Would you accept that for some people, they are NO ONE's cup of tea? Are they being a "victim" if they reco…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 08:25 PM
-1

Women’s preferences are much less varied than men’s, though. I think that the opposite is true. Women have a broader range of preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 08:17 PM
2

Obese people are completely deserving of ridicule because your body is 100% under your control. I don't agree. I think that everyone deserves human dignity. I'm FAR from being a HAAS advocate, but it definitely takes knowledge and habits to lose weight, as well as sometimes an identity adjustment and mental growth. That's a lot to ask of someone, and really the person they are accountable to is themselves, not to you. Additionally, the fact that you think it's ok to be cruel to someone else for …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 08:11 PM
0

In my early struggling days when I was reaching out for advice, the most common thing I heard was hit the gym... so that's what I did. I was never fat and always around 10% BF or even lower The average person is obese. They NEED to build some muscle in order to start running down their fat reserves rather than continuing to pile it on. Being fit and healthy is a good thing, it extends your life and your quality of life. Being heavily muscled, sure some women are into that but I think in general …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 07:54 PM
2

It was agonizing because they kept accusing me of having it so good because I don't have to deal with the problems they do. Whereas you think they have it so good because they don't have to deal with the problems you do. Interesting. Guess what? All of the problems you complain about, men have as well. OP, how many stalking/death threats DO you get from online dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 11:22 PM
1

And being able to inspire someone means that said someone trusts that you are generally more competent and able in more areas that they value than they are. I mean, you included the answer in the post.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 11:37 PM
1

For most of my life I identified as a feminist, and I guess in some ways I still do. But over the last 10 years or so I have become increasingly aware of ways in which feminism is actually oppressing men rather than just lifting women up. Feminism SHOULD be about addressing inequality wherever it is. But really it's about making things better for women. Which is sometimes correct, sometimes not.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 10:59 AM
1

Women (and everyone really) want men to be emotionally literate, able to process feelings etc etc. However, men are socialised to be stoic - boys don't cry, tell someone who cares, better call his mummy, toughen up. Essentially, a large number of men basically have PTSD and are emotionally stunted. So. When THOSE men start to open up, is DOES look a lot like 'trauma dumping' because they have been repressed their whole lives. In addition, some women have toxic attitudes towards men being vulnera…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 11:21 PM
–

More specific to IT; look around the classroom of any 3rd or 4th year college CS course if you’re under the delusion that tech will be a woman dominated field within a decade Yep. When I was in 1st year 25% of the students were women. By 4th year NONE of them were.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 08:47 PM
–

Capitalism doesn't care about men. If women truly did more work for less pay then companies would seek to exploit that and have a competitive advantage over other companies. Over time this would be a well known fact and the market would adjust. What women getting paid more ACTUALLY means is that the calculus of the stay at home parent is more balanced. It makes sense for the person with the higher paying job to be the one who stays in the workforce. Instead of ending marriages it just means fewe…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 08:46 PM
3

With that out of the way, the underlying sentiment I get from the comments and attitudes I've observed is that men are that men would be perfectly content to sleep on an air mattress in a studio apartment, eating ramen, playing video games, and jerking off to porn if it weren't for the desire to have a partner/sex (and for many, kids/"legacy"). I think that there's a baseline of 'low effort dopamine' and yes, eating junk food, playing computer games and masturbating all deliver a lot of dopamine…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 01:00 AM
27

Why would you say that men are deemed as more inherently disposable? Every time countries go to war it's disproportionately young men who die, and even the ones that don't come back as shells of themselves, maimed either physically or emotionally or both. Whereas if the same thing happened to the equivalent cohort of women, that would permanently reduce the population size of that country. So I think it's kind both biology and the way society is structured.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 01:58 AM
14

For example? One example is domestic violence. It's terrible, and society treats it as something where 99% of the time the man is the perpetrator and the woman is the victim. Whereas it's more like 60% of the time the man is the perpetrator. So men still are more likely to be the abuser, but the prevailing cultural narrative erases the men who are victims. And police help women in DV situations regardless of who the perpetrator, meaning that they are an additional tool of violence that abusive w…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 11:22 PM
49

There's a known issue called the 'empathy gap'. Women have legitimate issues and it's right and proper that everyone has empathy for them. Men have legitimate issues but some people have reasons for not extending the same empathy towards men that would go towards women and children. This isn't a problem caused by feminism. It's been the case for hundreds or maybe thousands of years. Men are inherently more disposable in society so it's emotionally safer to not get so attached to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 09:21 PM
3

I think people can get over a lot of traumatic crap. If she wasn't over it then perhaps she's not ready to date anyone, let alone me. If she is over it, then it's just part of her baggage. Everyone has baggage.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 01:44 AM
1

Is this analogy implying that the average man out there is, compared to the average woman at least, subpar, not only in terms of attractiveness, but emotionally and mentally as well? No. It's saying HAVE SOME EMPATHY FOR WHAT WOMEN GO THROUGH. Which this post categorically does not. Getting 2000 likes is overwhelming, and even more so when you start contacting people and get ghosted repeatedly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 12:09 AM
5

I deleted my profile each time that I started dating someone I thought had potential.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 10:57 PM
10

if you believe that women are "more emotional" than men as if they're not human I think that women are 'more emotional' than men because women are given permission by society to express their emotions, while men are punished for it. That's why 'men being stoic' is a stereotype. Men are emotionally boxed in by societal expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 08:43 PM
32

Until men like him get divorced Speaking as a man who got divorced in the last 5 years, I have made a dating profile exactly two times in that period. Both times I left the apps after a week or two (the first time before I even added photos to my profile). their risks of getting replaced If you're at risk of getting replaced, that wasn't someone you wanted to be in a relationship with anyway. Men need to value themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 08:41 PM
1

Toxic social media echo chambers are a trap. They exist as rage bait to divert you and trick you into thinking that your problems are caused by anyone OTHER than the 1%. It will be interesting to see what happens going forward in society. Step one is to recognise that you are being lied to. Step 2 is to ask yourself WHY they are lying to you. Step 3 is to do something about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 01:21 AM
3

Women, en masse, saw a problem, worked to fix it, are still working to fix things, and society has become a better place for them. I think that it's very true that women have disproportionately suffered from inequality, and that there has been a lot of work done to address a lot of that inequality that harms women. There's STILL inequality which women suffer from. But. But. There's also inequality that men suffer from, and the overwhelming cultural zeitgeist of 'it's WOMEN who have it hard, men …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 10:05 PM
3

we're capable of thinking beyond our basic animal instincts. Sometimes. Punished how? In the workplace a man can get angry and take no shit for someone taking credit for his work. Meanwhile if a woman does that she's a bitch who is hard to work with. A man aggressively asking for a raise is more often than not going to get it. Women are more likely to get turned down AND have their reputation slandered around the office.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 09:13 PM
6

The problem is that such information is opaque until a relationship is established, so it is usually not possible to know if a man is truly loyal That's why you are dating right? To find out about the other person and their character, to see if they are a good match for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 09:07 PM
4

Right, but mammal 'mating rituals' would appear to be predicated on male pursuit. Women are socialised to be passive and punished for 'leaving their lane'.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 09:06 PM
2

Blame testosterone.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 08:45 PM
7

Having a very few men "worthy" of relationships gives such few men a lot of power Not if those men want to be in a monogamous relationship. If I'm available, I don't care if there are a million women who want to be in a relationship with me. I only care if there's one. It's only the fuckboys who want to have lots of women chasing them. Some women say that men cannot be alone while women can be alone and happy. I think that there's SOME truth to that assertion. And the fix is for men to develop a…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 08:35 PM
–

but would never have thought of cancelling her or silencing her. Billionaires can't be cancelled OR silenced. This is bullies rewriting reality to make themselves the victims. Liberals used to be open minded and we're always ready to admit they were wrong. Liberals ARE open minded. The key thing is, we need to be tolerant over everything, EXCEPT intolerance. Because if you tolerate the intolerant, you aren't being tolerant. You're siding with the oppressors. Thing is, no one really liked feminis…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 08:29 PM
6

the woman can leave at the drop of a hat. Not really, but do you really want someone to stay that doesn't want to be with you? She can take all his stuff. No, she can take half of THEIR stuff. His kids No, she gets 50/50 custody, and he gets half custody. he'll have to pay alimony to her and the kid for the next 18 years. Alimony isn't a thing where I live. homelessness, if he runs out of payment. As true for him as it is for her. Generally women have lower paying jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 12:36 AM
1

I think there's a lot of rhetoric out there that paints men in that light. I would argue not. But that's certainly a weak argument to make to a woman who has been harmed by a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 08:36 PM
5

This logic doesn't work for anything else. I dunno, I think that experience with drugs' is a net negative too. Even if I broadly agree with your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 08:57 PM
1

This is clearly a case of #NOTALLAGEGAPRELATIONSHIPS. It's just a red flag. It's smoke, which hints at a fire but isn't necessarily the actual fire itself (although it well could be).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 08:55 PM
3

This is obviously a lie. Is it obviously a lie? I think it's self evidently true that younger people have less life experience and are more naive. A corollary of that is that older people have more experience and won't put up with the same shit that their younger selves did. Relationships are about compatibility, give and take, reciprocity. Sometimes if there is an imbalance in the relationship like an age/wealth/power/experience gap, that means that the person with the upper hand in the relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 08:53 PM
4

There’s more to life than sex bro Not to the adolescent redpillers on here. Hormones are a hell of a drug. The thousands of ancestors before you who passed on their lineage dies with you. That happens all the time. Of the people who were in europe in 1300AD, of those who have living descendants, their descendants are EVERYBODY who is alive today of european origin. Everyone else from that time, their descendants died off or never were. Such is life.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 07:50 PM
3

Women too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 07:47 PM
21

I’m curious to see if OP would still hold onto mindset if he reached his 70’s with 0 dating experience, 0 relationship experience and 0 sexual experience with a woman. The answer is yes, because your hormone levels drop as you age. You never feel as desperately stupidly horny as you do in your teens.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 08:55 PM
17

assume MEN are the victims I don't think that men are the victims. I think that SOMETIMES they are the victims. All your stuff about custody, 'accountability' and 'choosing better', I totally agree with.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 07:41 PM
2

No, op is pointing out that men are most of the rapists. But the problem is that we THINK of rape as 'having sex with someone without their consent', but that's not the legal definition (which is penetrating someone without their consent). If you lump 'made to penetrate' cases in with rape into a more general sexual assault group, then it's not men who are 90% perpetrators. It's more like 60/40 men/women. Men are still worse than women, but it's much closer t0 50/50 than it seems when you solely…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 09:21 AM
0

None of those things are more true now than in the past. I personally think that marriage rates are dropping because of an increasing sense of existential dread caused by late stage capitalism.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 11:53 PM
5

It requires effort, intent, time and money.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 10:02 PM
3

I think the cosmetics industry could live without men buying their products. Without women there would be no industry.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 10:00 PM
5

I think it takes about a year to lose romantic feelings for someone. For the person doing the breaking up, that happens to them WHILE they are in the relationship. So if for example, a women falls out of love, at the point that she breaks up with her partner, for the man, he's now got a year of grieving and personal growth to do. Whereas for her, she ALREADY DID THAT and is now at the point where she is capable of being in a relationship with someone else. Please note that this isn't a gendered …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 08:58 PM
4

"Self" says that it's inward-directed. Self-awareness would make you aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, not necessarily of what women think. Sure then. Let's extend what I said to 'know who you are and what you want, and also has an idea what the sort of person you want wants'. They just typically get more matches, thus giving them more of a choice. It is more rubbish though. I had a flatmate who got 2000 matches, which overwhelmed her. She whittled that down to well under 100, and when…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 08:23 PM
21

Yeah whenever I see a post about 'accountability' it seems like a dog whistle for hating on women for having opinions or agency. Or in this case railing against societal disapproval of relationships where one person has reduced agency.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 08:08 PM
4

men find more women attractive, than the other way around. So naturally, women have more choices. The trick here, is that you need to have enough self awareness to know what the sorts of things women are looking for, and be able to craft your profile to show them that you could be a good match with that. The way a lot of men act on the apps, women are overwhelmed by low value noise. So make your profile one that THEY want to engage with.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:59 PM
3

Eh, I think it's equivalent to Freemium games. Sure, it can work for you for free, but the whole app is designed to steer you towards paying for services. There’s no "fix" coming for this system. Because this IS the system. You’re not supposed to win. You’re supposed to keep playing. I think that's partly true. If the makers of the apps had complete control, they would keep everyone on the apps since that's where they make their money. They can't actually do that though because what they are sel…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:58 PM
2

Well, I think it's PARTLY true, in the send that 3 generations ago shitty husbands got to beat their wives and stay married. Whereas nowadays she would get away from his and he would be divorced. But it's compounded by men being socialised into not being aware of social support networks and definitely not building them. I mean, lets be frank, terms like "situationship" didn't sprout out of nowhere Used to be FWB right?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:21 PM
2

Well whether it's due to differences in brain structure or just life experience, at a practical level does it matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 07:53 PM
1

I don't agree with this analogy. Emotional injuries are not similar in the sense that you can heal them yourselves to a larger degree than physical injuries. I have healed most my emotional injuries by feeling them internally, and reading books about psychology. I think that everyone is different, and a problem that one person shrugs off and goes on with their lives regarding, another person might be severely impacted. I also take a lot of issue with the demonisation of stoicism which I really c…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 07:38 PM
3

And I totally agree with that. Those women are reinforcing toxic stereotypes of gendered behaviour on their partner and they suck.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 07:17 PM
1

Based on what objective evidence is being stoic less emotionally resilient? Imagine you suffer a physical injury to your hand. Sometimes, you just tough that our and persevere. Sometimes, you need to seek medical treatment. Emotional injuries are similar. Something small, you can tough it out. This is when being stoic is a useful strategy. Sometimes you watch your buddies get killed while on deployment. Stoicism is a poor coping strategy then because bottling it up just makes you a fucked up per…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 07:17 PM
2

I agree with your post, but I do actually think women are less lonely than men simply because they have more friendship groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 11:59 PM
2

Most of women are less emotionally resilient than men, men are consistently expected to put up with situations that would make most women break down. Yes, men are more encouraged to lean into stoicism, I agree. Men are expected to regulate our emotions to a far greater degree than women I think you meant suppress, not regulate. And I think that's a problem. Men should be able to cry about things that make them sad. That's a normal healthy emotional outlet.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 11:58 PM
6

But the data is currently showing that just as many women are lonely as men. Sure, but then it becomes a nuanced qualitative discussion about the needs of each individual. I think that because so many men are so emotionally stunted, talking about emotions and loneliness is, well, it's a different scale of issue. But I don't think that really represents the current situation. My perspective on the current situation is that men complaining about being lonely need to work on building social network…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 10:47 PM
5

No amount of social networks will deplace our purpose to live for something greater than ourselves. Those social groups can also be charitably inclined. Volunteering at a 'mums and bubs' music play session, dog walking for SPCA animals, delivering food to families in need, there is SO MUCH stuff that (largely) womens volunteer groups do that is good and greater than themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:50 PM
1

Absolutely not, it's something that both men and women need. But girls are socialised and conditioned to BE more emotionally resilient, whereas aspects of boys socialisations about manliness actively hinders them developing the same competencies (e.g. being stoic when you have a problem rather than seeking help or talking about it with someone else). So we're not all talking about how women lack it, because although SOME women do, by and large it's men who need to grow in this area more than wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:44 PM
2

Trauma dumping isn't being vulnerable. This I think is the key bit that OP doesn't understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:40 PM
5

No, just that there's a world of difference between 'learn what an emotional vocabulary is and how to parse and discuss your feelings' and 'trauma dump time'.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:40 PM
1

I think that the problem is that most men are emotionally stunted. When women say 'open up' they want you to feel comfortable unpacking or something that you're working through. But because men just bottle up or ignore their problems, 'opening up' is unleashing the floodgates and trauma dumping on the other person. There are a whole lot of skills and concepts you need to learn in order to be able to understand and process emotions in a healthy way. And the myth that we are or should be somehow e…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:35 PM
4

Once women hit a certain age where hook ups and short term relationships arent sought after, and are also aged out of more youth dominated social activites, there will be a female loneliness epidemic. No, they form social groups with other like minded women. Walking groups, knitting groups, book clubs etc etc etc. They are doing it right. Your romantic partner isn't and shouldn't be your ONLY form of companionship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:23 PM
12

I think it is broadly true though. Part of the gendered stereotypes that society shoehorns men and women into includes women having and building social support networks. Which is great! Don't get me wrong, I'm not shitting on women when I say that. But men aren't socialiased to even be aware of social support networks, and for many men, the only emotional support they have in their life is their partner. For these emotional amputees, their perceived solution is 'we MUST be in a relationship' whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:22 PM
5

If men had that same attitude. There wouldn't be no lonely male epidemic. No, it's more complex and nuanced than just considering yourself empowered and independant. Women are socialised and conditioned from a young age into building and maintaining social networks in a way that men are not (and kinda are steered away from). I have a niece who is gifted and talented in stereotypically masculine ways, and her teacher is fighting to hold her back (instead of advancing her a year) because she doesn…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:17 PM
13

This is a total myth And yet, insurance companies have decades of data showing that drivers under 25 cause significantly more car crashes than drivers over 25. And it's not just an experience thing. People getting their license at say age 30 do NOT have the same crash profile as an 18 year old who just got their license. Your brains risk assessment functions mature quite late, it seems. the development of prefrontal cortex doesn't even stop for some people even in their 30s Sure, for some people…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 07:49 PM
3

ngl, I've been so accustomed to putting false data into apps, my default birthdate is 1/1/1970 on everything that asks. It turns out you can't change that, you have to delete your profile and start again.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:03 AM
1

Men are often shamed for not "lasting long enough." Eh, there's an easy fix for this. Either rub one out first or play with her during your refractory period and then to better the second time. A secondary fix is called 'getting older'. We don’t blame women when men climax quickly, so why is there this asymmetry when the roles are reversed? When you're good, your partner comes. When you're bad, they don't. Also, Foreplay IS sex. It’s important to bring up a key issue related to feminism/blue pil…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 01:31 AM
1

Looks matter, but they are FAR from the only thing that matters and the older you get and the less of a slave to your hormones that you are, the more you will come to see that. I think that kindness, intelligence, playfulness, curiosity and enthusiasm are all much more important than looks in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 07:31 PM
1

Your post isn't about whether being good looking makes you a good partner. As far as I can tell your post is disagreeing with the idea that desirable men get snapped up quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 02:55 AM
1

I think marrying before you have finished growing up is a mistake, because you aren't finished maturing. Even if you are a perfect fit as a couple right now, you might not be in a few years when your brain finishes developing. Having said that, my N=1 experience as a man who divorced two years ago is that the two times I have gone on the apps I have deactivated my account before I even finished filling it out properly (as in, withing about a fortnight of creating the profile). Women being social…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 02:53 AM
1

Purple Pillers = men who accept most of Red Pill observations but who want to apply that knowledge within the blue-pill paradigm (i.e. knowing what they know but pretending they do not know anything) That's not how I would characterise Purple Pill. I think it's more 'people who can see the flaws of both red and blue pills'.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 10:50 PM
2

And we all know, when a woman gets sick... faster than lightning, the husband is out of there or trying to get side action. I think that the 'science' behind that urban legend has since been retracted. A man cheating while a woman is sick isn't much different than a woman cheating while her man is deployed. They are both scummy behaviours regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 08:05 PM
1

There are sooo many women who sacrifice their dreams and their lives for a man yet they get no appreciation from the manosphere. Totally agree. However, just to play devils advocate for a moment, I was today years old when I learned that being anxious and overthinking things was apparently a feminine trait. Perhaps high levels of anxiety come accross as less trusting and or conditional?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 08:03 PM
1

Oh absolutely, and I have replied to that in other places in the thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 10:46 PM
3

"women are as disadvantaged as men" There's a direct comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 10:09 PM
2

So this is my point, shyness is as much of a hindering to women in the dating market as it's to men. Yep. And on top of that, introversion has HUGELY increased. It used to be that people had hobbies outside of the home, but it's really hard to meet new people from your living room. The number 1 thing people do by far is consume internet content nowadays, and that doesn't bring you into contact with people. There are really only two options for people. Make an online dating profile Join hobbies t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 09:21 PM
7

I don't know why you are making it a man VS woman type of thing?! To be fair, you did include that in the title of your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 09:19 PM
8

Modern. Would this hypothetical 1950s woman be transported through time to the modern day? I think she would learn modern attitudes very quickly, particularly about being allowed education and a career.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 07:59 PM
3

Furthermore, the patriarchy doesn't even really exist in the west anyways I thought this too, but getting divorced I found it was not so. We had fully joint accounts, joint everything. When it came to 'separating' our credit cards, I thought we would have to go into the bank together, sign stuff etc. Turns out I could cancel her credit card over the phone (and she couldn't do jack shit about my card). In a bunch of ways the bank only recognised my wife as an appendage of me and once we were sepa…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 08:20 PM
2

Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 08:41 AM
2

Sure, because of the cultural subtext that says that men are failures if they can't support a family.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 07:42 AM
1

Sure, although a flip side of that is, when we moved to the current city we live in, I didn't have a job. Someone lined me up an interview to be a youth minister at a church. No offense, but that job pays ass and it's just a total non-starter for me. I rule out jobs like that (even if I would like them and be good at them) because the remuneration isn't there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 05:10 AM
2

It's a parenting penalty.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 05:09 AM
1

were more involved parents [just like women are], they would win custody more often; This is just the truth. When men go for shared custody, they get it. married someone of their own socioeconomic status [just like women want to], they would get more equitable division of assets in divorce; Men do get an equitable division of assets in a divorce already. 50/50 is equitable. visited doctors more often [just like women do], they would have longer lifespans / fewer health issues; There are some iss…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 05:08 AM
1

YMMV. I felt that my profile was meh, but then looking at those of other men made me feel MUCH better about mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:13 PM
2

Is it something you want to do something about?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:12 PM
0

And how do you feel about that? Are you on a weightloss/health journey? On your way towards 450lb? Stable and happy about it? If someone is going to be with you for say 20 years, what would that look like to them? Because that's the question they are asking themselves in their head.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:10 PM
0

I was truly impressed in a bad way by the sheer mediocrity of most women’s profiles. Try gender flipping and looking at the average man's profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:06 PM
0

I'm very overweight, so that's pretty much an immediate disqualifier. I'm 120kg (about 270lb) and I wouldn't say that that is the case. Or is your definition of overweight 'morbidly obese'? Because I'm apparently just on the threshold between obese and morbidly obese, even if I think BMI is a load of crap.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:02 PM
0

He's tried nothing and he's all out of ideas.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:00 PM
2

40s, M, not in the US. My experience was that as soon as I created a profile (within a week or two) I was deactivating it as I was seeing someone. Used Hinge. As a bit of an overthinker I used that to my advantage, and my profile wasn't so much 'this is who I am' as 'imagine going on a date with me or doing activities with me'. Basically every picture/prompt, I was thinking 'how will this get the kind of woman who I want to respond to my profile to engage with it?'. I went on a total of 3 dates …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 08:58 PM
0

If male physical advantages are so significant that women feel justified in fearing men in dating and social situations, then those same advantages must also impact fairness in sports. I read a paper a while back that said that the performance dropoff in HRT was ~8-10%. So to me, trans women should be eligible to compete against cis women in events where the difference in world records between men and women is about 8% or less. Where men are more than say 10% better than women at a world record …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 01:51 AM
–

Censorship is siding with the nazis. We should be tolerant of everything except intolerance.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 08:24 PM
1

“You cant love someone until you love yourself” is a lie. I don't know, I feel like if you don't love yourself you might not know what love is or have a very warped version of it in your head. That aside, the SUBTEXT of that message is 'don't be a doormat and let yourself be abused while telling yourself it's because you love them'. And 'don't let yourself be abused' is good advice. Loving yourself SHOULD happen, but I think it just pushes people to think they have to be perfect and problem free…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 07:45 PM
1

I don't have that "alpha frat-bro" personality. I don't have that either, but I wouldn't characterise myself as socially awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 12:11 AM
5

The other problem is that, in her mind, once she changed the story to that, it BECAME her reality. Yes that's a problem with these oppression olympics anecdotes. Reality exists stage left.
/r/EverydayMisandry17/02/25 02:48 AM
1

People want their partners to make their lives better.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 08:46 PM
7

False allegations can be done by genuine women. Women can still misinterpret men's actions as "creepy". Eh, she thinks he's being creepy, he doesn't. I don't think that means her complaints would be a false allegation. Nobody thinks they are the bad guy.
/r/EverydayMisandry16/02/25 08:38 PM
–

I think that the kind of woman that you should want to attract does value kindness.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 09:56 PM
1

Between 5 and 10 for both teams.
/r/MenSupportMen04/02/25 07:11 PM
3

No I'm not. But one solution to 'group A is better than group B and that's a problem because it's inequality' is to hold group A back rather than advance group B. It's a mistake to do that when the disadvantaged group is men and it's a mistake to do that when the disadvantaged group is women.
/r/MenSupportMen03/02/25 09:05 PM
4

There is no program doing the same for men. There's no program EXPLICITLY doing that for men. I work in IT in a more traditional company. Want to know what percentage of women the accounts team is? 100%. Want to know what percentage of women the IT team is. 0%. I'm no expert and don't have omniscience, but I think there's SOME level of gender bias in those hiring patterns, and it's not all penalising men. You all know wich one i talk about, and its : The straight white male. Again, this does hap…
/r/MenSupportMen03/02/25 07:51 PM
3

it's human nature to want better and more, irrespective if they themselves can pull their weight. Yep. Everyone wants stuff for themselves. If you're mature enough to perceive your partner as an independant person with their own needs and wants, and that they want stuff for themselves too (that you can provide), then yo uare probably a decent partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 07:57 PM
1

It's not, but isn't the number something like 7 times people try to leave their abusers before they actually get away on average?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 11:56 PM
1

so the phrase "Choose better" still makes sense. When I see "choose better" my brain translates it as "so you got into a relationship with that person who abused you, and that was your choice. So the abuse was your fault". It just feels like victim blaming to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 08:46 PM
0

That’s all no fun to you with the beautiful woman and not satisfying because it was too easy? No not at all. Having sex with a human woman is really fun. But this post isn't about that. It's a fantasy of easy effortless sex that's more akin to consuming porn than actually being in a relationship or having IRL sex. she keeps playing hard to get Sure and I can see how I was advocating for stupid games like playing hard to get. I'm also not about that at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 08:49 PM
1

They want to be the guy that opens a dating app and orders company and affection from women like Uber Eats. This is a delusional fantasy. Effortless pleasure (as described here) is ultimately unsatisfying. The best pleasures are the ones that involved effort to obtain.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 08:34 PM
1

Guys here have made it very clear they want sex to stroke their ego and feel validation. I would reframe it as a core relationship need. They also degrade women who give men sexual attention Uh.... maybe other men do? Perhaps those men are insecure. telling women sex means nothing I think it's one of many things that needs to be 'working' for a relationship to be good. It's like having a working back. Normally you just take that for granted, but once you have an injured back, you think about you…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 11:22 PM
8

Men fuck inanimate objects This is weird, because when I think of sex toys they are usually used by women?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 07:25 PM
2

I feel like dispelling the myth and destroying the red/black pill narrative that women never approach is kind of important, Yeah that's fair. I agree with that. since men who are reluctant to make the first move could focus on making friends and hanging out in social venues instead. And they should totally do that. The 'work on yourself' advice the rp gives is good in this context.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:41 PM
8

I think women get a lot of different messages that often conflict with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:31 PM
1

Sure, that's fine. I guess we can each only speak about our own experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 09:30 PM
1

I think it depends greatly on the age of the woman in question. Society tells young women 'be this compliant people pleaser and everyone will like you', and as they have a decade or two of adulthood under their belt they realise what a shit sandwich that advice is, and decide that they want a little more autonomy and control of their life. Being the pursuer in relationships is part of that and it leads to better outcomes for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:55 PM
2

I think the trick is you have to learn how to 'speak their language' in terms of hinting that you are available to be approached.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:53 PM
1

relationships still are at an all time low. Birth rates are super low. This subreddit exists, and so on. How do we fix this? Whoa, what gave you that idea? Just because people don't need to stay in abusive relationships anymore that doesn't mean we should pine to go back to 'the good old days'. TL;DR: Women have much more selection in choosing a partner, so instead of waiting for a good choice to come to them, women should be actively putting themselves in situations where they get to interact a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:52 PM
1

Lots of hobbies can look like work when you really get into them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 08:01 PM
1

The most couples meet through their jobs or OLD. I met my GF on OLD. The reason we matched is because we had a shared hobby.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 03:29 AM
5

I think it's weird that so many of you could have such a negative response to "choose better". To me it looks like victim blaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 10:51 PM
1

I don’t think it has anything to do with abiding by their vows. The gender breakup difference is for married folks. If they are merely cohabiting both men and women initiate breakups equally. For married couples, women initiate divorce at a lower rate than men and women who cohabit do. And married men are WAY lower at initiating divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 07:03 AM
1

You’re better off treating women poorly. This I think is dogshit. Like, perhaps there's a small window of society where cognitive dissonance kicks in for the woman and she rationalises being treated poorly by you because she must love you so much to justify your toxic and abusive behaviour. But that is really only going to come from damaged women who quite frankly, I'm not sure you should want to be in a relationship with? Unless the goal is for you to have a relationship that platforms your abu…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 08:14 PM
–

the women who post here are very mean cunts. Really? I haven't seen posts by women that would indicate that. I do sometimes see people 'giving as good as they get'.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 08:11 PM
3

Being confident is attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 09:42 PM
1

And so they get treated as disposable Eh, only by shit men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 07:43 PM
1

I'm older (and have kids). But I'm not on the 'red' end of the spectrum either.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 09:37 AM
2

I think there's two types of relationships. One where there's kids and ones where there isn't. With no kids, I think relationships can be completely equal. Where there are kids, I think that the partner who is primary caregiver (who are overwhelmingly women) tend to make a lot more sacrifices than the working partner. I think that leaving the workforce for a decade or more is a massive investment/sacrifice that is being made for the relationship/children.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 08:59 PM
1

Your last point men see women as tools to be led That is the opposite of what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 08:16 PM
1

No my perspective is that saying men have no empathy is wrong It's a shorthand for saying that most men don't have the same emotional palette to paint their pictures with that women do. This is something that I think that men can and REALLY need to improve on. Not become women: have a greater awareness of emotional nuance and vocabulary. And essentially always having to validate someone emotionally will become draining It absolutely does. I think it's very similar to having a toddler who is cryi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 08:15 PM
3

Wanting emotional validation isn't the same thing as wanting to be coddled.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 08:06 PM
2

It seems to me that women have more empathy compared to them if that's fair? I think it's something that's societally conditioned. My niece is really into boy games, and likes to play with the boys. She is also really smart and her parents are asking about putting her up a year. Her teacher is resistant because she thinks my niece is behind socially. Why? Because she isn't 'performing girlhood' and talking to the other girls the way that the teacher expects.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 08:05 PM
6

It’s 2 different things to say men have a problem expressing empathy and men lack it. It's a conflation. I agree that it's 2 different things, but if someone feels you aren't being empathic towards them while you are trying to be, who is right? I feel like the answer is that the receiver of the empathy is the person who is best able to judge whether they are receiving empathy. Saying 'there there' while someone sobs might be the most you can do to offer empathy, while also being inadequate. they…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 08:01 PM
1

Because him listening and giving advice shows he understands you to some capacity Sure, but what you're not getting is that being listened to while venting about issues that ultimately are beyond their control ACTUALLY MAKES WOMEN FEEL BETTER. That's a super power that men don't have. So yes, if YOU were to try and do what a woman was doing (having someone validate you as you vented about your problems) you might well feel worse than if you hadn't raised the subject at all. But that's not true f…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 07:45 PM
1

A man’s precieved lack of empathy is more than likely a result of societal conditioning rather than innate deficiency of something Correct. It's a societal systemic issue, not something to blame individual men for. But men express empathy in many different ways whether that be finding a solution to a problem or providing practical support rather than expressing it verbally through emotional affirmations. I don't think so. I think men are societally conditioned to bottle things up, in a 'real men…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 07:42 PM
2

I think the void is social media addiction or 'low quality browsing'. I think everyone can get their entertainment needs met on the internet in half an hour a day. More than that isn't giving you anything more valuable in your life, it's just filling the space in your life until you die.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 10:22 PM
2

Internet/social media culture has fried our attention spans so people nowadays are more shallow. I think the solution to that is get off the internet more. Most people nowadays are just attracted to the esthetic of things and nothing deeper, so don't put to much stock into it. People make bad choices so .... join them? A lot of guys have this notion that their soulmate is someone who will share a lot of the same interests and hobbies that they do to the depth that they do, I can sometimes find m…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 09:59 PM
1

And once Trump has the ability to destroy all life on earth on a whim, he will become the first global dictator Eh, arguably the leader of Russia/USSR has also had this ability.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 07:12 PM
1

because she was hoping something like that would happen for political brownie points Yes, it's really the democrats who are to blame for the violent storming of the capital that happened at the urging of Trump and for his benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 07:11 PM
3

So he can do whatever he wants. I think the #1 think Trump wants to do is not be sued once he leaves office again. So he either won't step down or he will fundamentally fracture the legal system during this term.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 09:09 PM
28

He is not going to steal your birth control while you sleep. The republican party has been systematically dismantling the checks and balances in the system for the last 45 years, trying to create a permanent republican majority. Turmp is just a useful idiot who provides a smokescreen while they kill what's left of american democracy. The US supreme court was wavering 5-4 for decades, meaning that it was up to the principles of every judge to decide issues. Now there is a permanent republican maj…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 09:07 PM
–

the REAL issue is that actual DESIRABLE men are being viewed as beneath average-below average women Speak for yourself. I regard myself as being above average, and even if there were a million women who think I'm not their jam, you know what? I don't care. I'm not trying to appeal to a million women. I'm trying to appeal to one. even men who previously had no issue picking up women Let it be known that I don't think 'having no issue picking up women' is a singular trait of an above average man. …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 08:59 PM
1

Familiarity breeds contempt
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 08:25 PM
4

Eh, I think everyone benchmarks everything to get a sense of what is normal. How your boss treats you, what your salary is, what you car looks like, how often you eat out, what effort your partner puts into their appearance, how much exercise you get etc etc etc Social media is a contagion in the sense that it warps the consumer's sense of what normal is.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 10:00 PM
1

I can't find it now but the game theory example was 5 men and 5 women who all had different attraction levels for each other. In it each man asked the woman at the top of his list to go out with him, and each woman said yes, but would also dump him and monkey branch if a man higher on her ranking also asked her. And when dumped a man would ask the next woman on his list until he gets down to the bottom of the ranking. You'd think that the women would end up with their best man right? Since they …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 10:04 PM
1

For every couple that blissfully took care of each other there were probably at least two couples that cheated on each other, argued all the time, and drove each other to drink. Yep. Just thinking back to my grandmother, her husband was ok but both her sisters had husbands who beat them. Divorce wasn't a thing then but I think that them divorcing would have been better than staying with those men. I also agree with your first sentence that men are blaming feminism for structural problems that ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 08:39 PM
0

You have a point that people should work on improving their situation. But it's also try that some obstacles and inequalities in life are systemic in nature. And those we should recognise what they are. We need to tear down those systemic inequalities while also giving extra aid and support to people who have suffered those injustices. I agree that people playing a victim to get support, only to do nothing with their own agency to actually lift themselves out of the bucket is both frustrating an…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 08:30 PM
0

More difficult, but also has more reward. Why do you not see that? I'm definitely of the opinion that women should pursue more. Men would enjoy that but women would also get better relationships out of the deal as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 08:11 PM
0

It's because subtext is real. Like, when you say 'personal responsibility' that's a phrase that has been tarnished in my mind to be a coded attack on solo mothers, essentially blaming them for their circumstances in life. Maybe you didn't hear that, but that's part of what I read from your comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 08:11 PM
1

I really think if most of the men in this sub bitching about women having it easy were willing to actually listen to others and make minor adjustments to their behavior away from this winning at all costs BS to a more collaborative approach, they wouldn't need these kinds of spaces to feel validated because they would already have figured out that having lasting relationships is really that simple. I kind of agree and disagree with you. I think there's an online echo chamber filling their heads …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 08:09 PM
5

It's the law of supply and demand. That's something that transcends humans as a species. Good luck fixing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 08:05 PM
-1

Nah, from a game theory the asker is the person who gets the better quality matches, not the askee. There are benefits and downsides to the gender roles imposed on men and women in courtship by society but on average, men have it better.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 08:02 PM
6

Why are men on this sub always trying to compete in the Struggle Olympics? Let me just say, I don't agree with OP or their argument at all. But I do think that the 'oppression olympics' happens when you feel like you have a problem or inequality that negatively affects you, and other people don't take it seriously. Now, I don't think that 'men being the initiator' is actually the huge negative that OP makes it out to be (it's certainly a mixed bag that has serious upsides as well). But men do ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:39 PM
7

Men surely can't just pull a phone out of their pockes and get sex from a woman on demand Once you factor in the strength differences between men and women, and how unsatisfying most first time sexual encounters are for women, you might develop some empathy for women and see it a little differently. Men basically orgasm EVERY time having sex. I know it's not every time, but let's say 95-99% of the time a man will orgasm. For women that number can vary wildly, but lets say for some women (the one…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:29 PM
8

Yup just change your sexuality bro! Just turn gay. Do you even understand how ridiculous your comment is? She's aware. Her point (which you apparently missed the first time) is that someone being sexually into you (like the gay guy in her example) isn't ACTUALLY a benefit to you if you don't reciprocate that interest. Most average men don't have ANY options. This isn't true. Because nobody is average at everything. You can be below average at something, and above average at something else. The s…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:24 PM
1

Are you about to start posting Jordan Peterson crap?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:21 PM
0

With the standard of modern dating being that men on average are the pursuers, the curve is just harder for men than it is are female counterparts. Nah. Some things are harder and some things are easier. I read a comment a while back that was something like: Men are dying of thirst in the desert while women are dying of thirst in the ocean. they fail to acknowledge the gap in options Boo fricking hoo. In a game theory sense, the pursuer gets a higher quality mate than the pursued. That's a benef…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:16 PM
3

Like when I look at all of the older divorced men I know, most are a depressed mess who're literally waiting to die. The women are thriving in comparison, even those who're not doing well monetarily. Women are socialised at a young age to build social support networks with each other. For a man often his only social support network is his partner, sometimes his family of origin. Why are men like this? I hate the term 'toxic masculinity' but this problem I think falls into that category. Boys who…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 12:22 AM
–

You can do all of that and they will still be the 1%. I'm not saying you can get rid of rich people. But the nature of the society we live in, the social welfare net etc is absolutely still up for debate, and the 1% want to have NONE of that, and want all of the wealth for themselves. That IS still something we can influence. Everyone who is not rich wants more economic equality. I don't think that's true. I think that the right is perfectly happy to have other people on the bottom.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 01:08 AM
–

You absolutely can pass laws that address income inequality and prevent tax havens, avoidance, capital gains etc etc. The subtext of your post is 'it's hard, let's not try to do anything'.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 12:10 AM
–

They will be the 1% regardless That's what they want you to think, that you can't really do anything about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 09:41 PM
–

My hot take is that identity politics as whole is actually a smoke screen that is used by the 1% intentionally and explicitly as wedge politics, to divide the populace and prevent us all from realising that the REAL enemy are the 1% who are exploiting the whole economic system and plundering all of the money. Here comes the controversial bit: Unions aren't more important than abortion, or trans rights. But they ARE in a systemic way since any sort of political activism which leaves the wealthy i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 07:07 PM
1

I'm not who you are responding to but I went and looked at a US source and found that the victimisation rate was basically dead even. So although I had heard the same thing (that men are majority victims) it would appear that violent attackers are nondiscriminatory. This shows that it's basically dead even most years, with about 4-5 years where men are majority victims and one year when women are (2015). Maybe historically men were majority victims but as society has become safer those 'excess a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 08:18 PM
1

is your point that men experience more rape/SA/DV than women in general I think it's something that is more of a 40/60 thing and a 1/99 thing. So while women are victims more, it's MUCH closer to being essentially 50/50 than popular narratives that women are always the victim and men are always the perpetrator. And those narratives revictimise male victims by erasing them. AFAIK, the law doesn't mention gender/sex specifically. Sexual assault (the gender neutral version) is often a lesser crime …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 08:13 PM
1

I'm perfectly content being alone. This is ideal. I'm not criticising you at all. I feel like any man with a solid social group How many kids do you have? For me, my focus turned completely inwards once kids came along, with the result that most of my social activities dwindled to nothing. That's a mistake I won't be repeating.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 08:28 PM
13

Women are more content to be alone than men are. Yeah, and I think that's something men need to get better at. Learning how to build and maintain platonic social networks is absolutely something women learn how to do that men are worse at but also need. If men want to change this dynamic, then it’s on us to be more selective and look for other sources of validation and emotional connection outside of relationships with women. Agree 100%
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 02:23 AM
3

most woman-oriented dating advice seems to instill this idea that women don't need to change, don't need to improve No, most women oriented advice is that she needs to spend her life 40 pounds underweight and $1000 a month on cosmetics or nobody will love her. The 'just be yourself' and 'you're good enough' rhetoric can go too far but it's absolutely trying to counter the toxic messages that women are inundated with from the world of fashion. These are very broad strokes but it seems to be the g…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 02:21 AM
17

If you look at many divorce posts and commentary, women often say they felt unfulfilled or that they lost the connection with their partner. Men tended to not say these things. Speaking as someone who is going to go and get divorced in about an hour, I felt unfulfilled and lost my connection with my partner. I think that men are more conditioned to suck it up though since 'the family needs them'.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 02:26 AM
1

It's a multifaceted problem, but I think in large part because men are perceived to have more agency than they actually have, which is why any problems they have are assumed to be something they can act on to do something about. Whereas women are perceived to have less agency than they actually have, so their problems are assumed be caused by someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 07:50 PM
1

Different people want different things, often coloured by their previous experiences. I'm older than most in this sub and I'm definitely looking for women who can pay their own way rather than expecting to latch onto me as the funder, even as I accept that I will probably have a higher income than them. Aggressive women who pursue what they want, make all the plans, ask out men, fuck on the first date, pay for dates, speak their mind directly, and when they arent' interested in dating you, they'…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 08:23 PM
1

Do you yourself hate them? Nope. I think it has to do with how sexually jealous and possessive you are as a person. And that's just not me, even if I have no inclinations towards polyamory.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 01:47 AM
-1

it's just so much easier to get in shape Sure, but have you watched a lot of 80s action movies? I say that because their oiled bodies and over-muscled frames are really designed to appeal to MEN rather than women. Yet I think a lot of men think that Arnie has the ideal physique to appeal to women. Looking fit and not being overweight is great. Getting swole probably isn't going to give you the romantic payoff you think it will.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 03:21 AM
0

charismatic But that's a proxy for having social skills and being smart, right? Also, the whole 'they are THEY with THEM' to me shows that you don't know everything that's going on with either of them. Of course an outsider looking in can only see the shallow surface of their relationship, but that doesn't mean it's all there it, it just means it's all you are aware of as an observer.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 02:57 AM
2

Women aren't vetting men based on how much they love puppies, they're vetting men based on how hot they are The photos make it a looks based medium, but I think 'how hot they are' is only a small part of what women are looking for. 'does he have his shit together', 'do I think I would enjoy going on a date with him', 'what is his lifestyle' , 'would I feel safe with him' etc are all relevant factors too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 02:32 AM
2

So before you assume youre ugly and unfuckable, work on identifying what it is that women like about you I think this is the key to a good profile. Know the type of person you're trying to attract with your profile, and then craft a profile designed to get that type of person to engage with it. Everybody is a weirdo. You're trying to attract your type of weirdo.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 02:30 AM
–

This is a very detailed post to say 'I fell for social media rage bait'.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 08:43 PM
23

I think that every movement has a better time getting converts and maintaining energy and focus when there's an 'other' to demonise. It protects you from scrutinising the weaknesses of your own position and gives you a common enemy to have solidarity with your in-group about. When I see incels being misogynistic, at least it makes sense because they're boys who are projecting their insecurities onto women and blaming them for their issues This is the same principle, just a different in-group and…
/r/EverydayMisandry23/09/24 09:13 PM
37

This is extremely untrue I think the post you are commenting on is largely true, and your points about things like men picking up extra hours do nothing to rebut their points.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 01:29 AM
7

Do you believe that trend exists? No I don't. I do think that it's far more socially acceptable for men to be interested in children and being invested fathers. Just like it's more socially acceptable for women to NOT want to have kids. But I think it's still pretty close to even, not men wanting kids more than women. What is it about the modern man's lived experience that makes him more interested in having kids than the modern woman's lived experience? Well, I think that a lot of the costs of …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 01:27 AM
1

Does that matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 12:31 AM
3

If that was the case, then randomised blind marking wouldn't show boys being penalised for their work. Please note that I'm not saying that it's just women penalising boys. Male teachers do it too. girls outperform boys in class as well as at the national exams which are completely anonymous There's a phenomenon called 'royal jelly' where if you give better resources and attention to one group over another, after several years the more favoured group legitimately is better by virtue of the bette…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 12:24 AM
7

Yes, women are attempting university and getting degrees at higher rates than men. Ultimately the vast majority of the gender gap is actually a 'parenting penalty'. Which is not solved by making the education system even more unequal than it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 12:21 AM
2

This doesn't mean there's a general bias in favor of girls, it means the system often favors work and study instead of just raw intelligence. Except that the HUGE difference is that teachers mark the assignments, and know who the kids are. Clearly they are punishing the kids they don't like, as can be seen when their work is audited and the marking is completed by someone who doesn't know they kids (or even the gender of the student) - boys marks go up when that happens. It shouldn't come as a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 08:47 PM
5

the problem is that nobody seems to know what is the best solution The problem is that the attempts to undermine the advantages that girls enjoy would be seen as misogyny. Attempts to undermine advantages that boys enjoyed were seen as justice and fairness.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 08:41 PM
25

women's advantage in education is not some conspiracy by government/feminists/etc. I would disagree. The last 40 years has seen anything that can be considered an advantage to boys in the education system dismantled and removed, with the goal of making things better for girls. There's now a level of systemic inequality in education which rivals that of the 1960s, but NOBODY is talking about systemic advantages that girls have and attempting to remove them. Here's an example: When teachers don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 08:38 PM
1

Unless there is good evidence to the contrary its safe to assume that in marriages and families, men and women live an equal standard of life. Yeah this is the real adjustment to make to make the stats more accurate. Although, I think there's statistics to show that married men earn more than unmarried men? Quite frankly, if childrearing was easier than working a full time job, more dads would choose it. But they don't - surveys show lots of dads prefer working. I would have LOVED to be the stay…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 08:33 PM
1

I agree, there are some small benefits to TRP. It shelters the ego from self reflection.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 08:24 PM
1

It can do. Some people define success as having a million dollars. That's not part of my definition of success.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 08:11 PM
4

I don't know if this has been said but men and women are only valued when they are 'successful' within their own socially ascribed parameters. So? Redefine success to that it includes you then.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 04:11 AM
–

The blue pill seems to believe in a much more deterministic view. If you're unattractive and low status that is because you are inherently flawed, you should accept this and stop annoying people about it. Nah. The blue pill is about accepting that women are people too. With their own goals, wants etc etc. For this reason I find the blue pill to be a far more negative and miserable point of view. That's because you have a RP view of TBP. Take online dating. You might try it, have no success etc, …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 10:00 PM
6

Something I feel bad women have to deal with: being talked over in the workplace. Something nice: Women generally are better able to articulate and discuss their feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 08:30 PM
1

Sure, desperation is never attractive. I do think there's societal expectations for men to be more aggressive and the pursuers though. I also that that women 'pursue' in much more indirect and face saving ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 10:19 PM
1

I disagree with the hidden bank account unless the partner is abusive. You're just stealing from the joint finances by doing that. Totally agree on the support circle. I think this applies even more to men. I agree that everybody should know all of the finances. I think that cosplaying as a future divorcee might make that a self-fulfilling prophecy though.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 09:02 PM
2

My personal opinion is that women are not more bigoted than men on the whole. They say this proves women are fake with their compassion I think that 'othering' is a bullshit way to deny compassion to other people, including where men are 'othered'.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 01:53 AM
5

We do! Board games! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 02:28 AM
1

Sure. I don't know why anybody would want to be with some who hates them, or hates the category of people that they are in.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 02:24 AM
8

Oh course it is, but it's a deliberate straw manning of the feelings of lonely ND men, just like what OP is talking about in their post. Nobody thinks 'put money in, get sex out', lonely men want connection and companionship just as much as women do. But those narratives are deliberately painting those men in a horrible and misleading light, one which is designed to starve those empathy starved men of empathy. Those posts are part of the problem, not part of the solution.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 11:26 PM
10

Feminism has nothing whatsoever to do with dating. Eh, I do think that some rhetoric about incels 'Nobody OWES you sex' is from within a subset of feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 11:08 PM
3

This is a position that requires you to lack empathy towards other random people. Most people don't lack that empathy. Other people have value. They have a right to exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 11:07 PM
6

One women who I dated briefly a couple of years ago, the night we broke up, said '<bullshit reason> is probably why your kids are trans'. That was the last time I saw her.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 09:17 PM
2

I think they are conceptually similar in that they are telling the same audience that their problems are real. So they acknowledge and validate their audience.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 12:10 AM
6

I think his popularity is that he's telling men a story about how their life is the way it is that appeals to them. They WANT to believe it. He presents himself as a role model. In reality he's just an influencer/grifter and apparently, sex trafficker. He's an abysmal role model in just about every way possible. I do think there's an element of political correctness that is wrong, it has narratives about how men are the problem etc etc. Polemics like Tate and Peterson actually acknowledge that m…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 12:05 AM
1

So why is this a big deal for women ? I don't think it's any different from objecting to someone who doomscrolls social media. When you're lost in your device you are physically present but your soul isn't there.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 04:52 AM
2

That's the trick. You're not trying to appeal to every woman, you're a weirdo trying to find your weirdo.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 03:37 AM
5

I mentally took a year off from dating after the end of my marriage. I joined a hobby club, and have started a group of people who meet weekly to play board games at my group, and that's turned into a subset of them meeting on a different night as well. So the social part is great. At the start of the year I decided I was ready to give online dating a try, created a profile and within a couple of weeks, I started dating my now current girlfriend. I'm trying to get a basic idea of the amount of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 03:30 AM
1

It's about choosing hope over despair. Even if it's not true (and clearly it's not true for everybody) wouldn't you rather believe the comforting lie?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 09:56 PM
–

How is this not a scary power imbalance Because that's not what more women want? The dating app imbalance is because of a warped supply-demand. And that's because the demand for women is much higher than the supply, because WOMEN DON'T WANT THAT.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 09:30 PM
1

He ain't it. Or, he's not getting your subtle clues.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 08:20 PM
5

I kinda feel like the opposite is true? I think that women's desire for men is spread more broadly, which is part of the reason why there's less of a definitive standard of what female attraction is. Whereas male attraction is more clustered (just go and look at Fox news anchors for an example of what a significant number of men find attractive). I think it's more that women approach less, so the ones who ARE bold enough to approach don't represent all women, and they tend to prefer the type of …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 12:02 AM
6

Not really. Growing and recognising that some things you thought were important aren't all they are cracked up to be, and other things matter more, is just part of it. Living your life to maximise some things and minimise others for example. One thing I watched recently learning about dopamine and brain chemistry is that 'effortless pleasure', whether that's eating chocolate, taking drugs, consuming porn etc etc is toxic and depression inducing. Seeking out and pursuing 'effortful pleasure' shou…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 09:04 PM
9

It’s common knowledge on this subreddit that women who’ve been promiscuous have a damaged pair-bonding ability. I propose that the same applies for men too. I think that IF it's true for women then it stands to reason that it's true for men as well. I am skeptical however. I feel like OP is misunderstanding what maturity is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 08:27 PM
7

As a man who values gender equality, I have noticed that treating women as equals is often not appreciated and can even lead to being mistaken for a misogynist. When what you know is privilege, equality feels like oppression.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 08:22 PM
10

Speaking as a man whose ex-wife WAS a SAHM, I feel uniquely qualified to respond here. He will probably have to pay alimony Nope. He will probably not get equal custody(depends on state laws) Nope. 50/50 baby. You need to structure your life around your kids, but you can still have a social life on your 'off-week'. He will have to pay high amounts of child support Yep, although this is because of the massive parenting penalty my ex has paid for being out of the workforce so long - her salary is …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 09:05 PM
–

For men that think if your wife won’t have sex with you after x amount of time you should be “allowed” to cheat on her. Nope. If it's a dealbreaker for you, you should break up. Having to masturbate is hardly the biggest imposition in the world. Do you mean that you should be protected from social repercussions and judgements because you believe this is justified cheating? I had to think for a moment about what I might consider 'justified cheating' to be (this isn't it). I guess if you are force…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 09:04 PM
1

It has more to do with how many options women have compared to men. Eh, I'm skeptical of that. How many times do you read 'the bar is in hell' when it comes to potential partners for women? men cannot marry at any time they want to resulting in more unhappiness Again, why is it that the trope that women want to get married but men don't exists? That seems to run counter to your argument. Unless of course you are conflating marriage and sex, which I think is a mistake. I can be almost 100% certai…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 08:20 PM
1

Interesting. I wonder how trans brains map?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 10:17 PM
1

What does "Changing their behaviour" mean? It feels like a nebulous and bullshit phrasing where you need to accept somehow that the way young women act is unacceptable, and to compound things, women aren't changing and growing out of this unacceptable and nefarious behavour, the exact details of which left up to the imagination of the reader (and to give OP wriggle room to say 'I never said that' if called on their bullshit). From my perspective, I think there's a some truth to the saying that w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 10:04 PM
0

Yeah, but all of those points OP made are stupid. If you think OP has a point but made it badly, why don't you make a post that uses the good arguments, not the bad ones?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 10:29 PM
2

I think that first point is that only 20% of men from 1000 years ago still have living descendants today.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 06:01 PM
1

Yep. The only reason I'm in my current relationship is because of a hobby prompt that she responded to.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 12:37 AM
1

I'm curious to know both men and women of this community, how would you currently assess your own Sexual Market Value currently? I'm utterly uninterested in there being a million women who want to sleep with or be in a relationship with me. I'm VERY invested in the person I'm currently in a relationship with wanting to sleep with and be in a relationship with me. For what it's worth, the two times I created online dating profiles I basically hadn't even finished filling it out (I certainly didn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 12:22 AM
1

Why is there so much empathy and sympathy for women I think it's true that women get more empathy from society, but I don't resent women for it. I think that EVERYONE should get empathy and sympathy. My focus on this inequality is why don't men get empathy and sympathy from society in general. I think there's a subsection of messaging in society where the subtext is 'men suck' and this contributes in large part of poisoning society against men in general. It's a form of bigotry.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 12:19 AM
2

When I think of the experiences that were foundational to my own sense of masculinity, which I also had to work to unravel and reconstruct, it all came from the dudes I hung out with in junior high and high school. I think it happens much earlier than that. I think those ideas take root at the age of 5 when school starts.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 12:12 AM
1

men perpetuate a toxic form of socialization that leads to bad behaviors and bad outcomes My working theory is that this toxic ideology is formed on the playground when kids first go to school. I have known a large number of really sweet pre-school boys who suddenly are traumatised into 'acting like a man' on the playground. I STRONGLY disagree with the idea that it's men perpetuating these stereotypes. I mean, yes it is men but it's fundamentally SOCIETY, which includes men and also women as we…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 12:09 AM
1

Monopolies matter when it's something you MUST have in your life. Your power company being a monopoly. Roads etc. You MUST use them and therefore if you are vulnerable to being exploited if a for profit monopoly takes them over. But it doesn't matter if there's a soft drink monopoly for example, because you can freely not drink soft drinks. Or an alcohol monopoly. Or a dating app monopoly. Those things aren't vital to your existence so it doesn't matter if a monopoly forms even if it does become…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 11:26 PM
2

guys doing bunch of stuff to keep a woman happy So the implication here is that he doesn't want to do these unnatural things to keep her happy, but she should be more than happy to do all of the natural things that keep him happy right? I think I have to hard disagree with you. Both sides to things that the other appreciates, and that's great. Sometimes people do things that the other doesn't appreciate, and that's not valued.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 10:56 PM
2

I would have been happy to be a 'home husband' but my partner didn't earn nearly enough for us to live on her income.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 03:04 AM
–

I think you are also hanging around in spaces that speak about men that way and it colours your thinking. Just like how redpillers talk about men and females.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 05:48 AM
–

The "male" and "women" is also a bit of a giveaway.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 05:24 AM
–

women males Using 'males' and 'females' is dehumanising. It's why it's sexist when we talk about 'men' and 'females'. What species is the female in question even?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 04:59 AM
13

I think that there are a LOT of different characteristics that are desirable in a partner. Different people like different things, so for person A, they might have 5 different things that they are looking for in a partner, and being deficient in them is a showstopper. BUT, fixing that deficiency might still not make you above average in all 5 things they want. You've listed physique, sociability, and financial stability. On top of that I would add sensuality (they need to be into me), emotional …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 09:36 PM
1

The real problem that boys face in my opinion is that women have run them out of the job market I think it's a mistake to blame women for that. , and screwed them over in court. This was an issue, but the pendulum is swing to equality in places where it isn't that already. The education system pounds negative messages about them into thier heads all day. THIS I agree with. We're in a situation right now where the educational gap is as large now as it was in 1970, just in favour of girls instead …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 02:19 AM
1

Why are the richest and most powerful assholes pushing this? The same reason they back racism, and gay rights, and trans rights, and MRAs. They are all different types of wedge politics used to distract the 99% from their common cause against the 1%. And you think the boys are Ok? Suicide rate more than doubled, every single form of mental illness has exploded, and more than half of them can't find a relationship? You my friend are a human ostrich. You are willfully misunderstanding me. I think …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 01:25 AM
1

My only question is that if Feminism is such a great and wonderful force for everyone, then why do these problems for men never seem to get addressed? It's because there actually IS an opponent that we should be pm guard against, it's just that it's not feminism/women, it's capitalism/the 1%. They are the people who are driving worse conditions for everybody and engaging in corporate plunder. Just look at all the messed up boys in this upcoming generation. I would argue that boys are less messed…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 10:09 PM
1

For example, while women treat the men they love as though they matter, any man they don't love exist to be used. While I'm sure that there are women out there like that, that doesn't ring true for me regarding actual women I know in the real world. The general society as a whole also chucks men aside, especially if they fail to perform. Yes! I completely agree with this. But why are we blaming women for this? Shouldn't the conversation be about systemic societal problems men have and how we can…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 02:39 AM
1

Nope, it's not modern dating. It's patriarchal expectations that men be stoic and never show fear that breed emotional distance. The anti-social personalities come from drinking the kool-aide of various online groups that poison you regarding other people. So many turn towards emotional numbing and putting a fence between their inner selves and the world to avoid total emotional desolation. I mean, this is basically the lived existence of a whole cohort of men who went to the first and second wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 09:28 PM
4

There is a stereotypical gender dynamic in many relationships where the woman does the vast majority of the unpaid work (and now often much of the paid work) and make all the sacrifices. Meanwhile the man does little to meet them half way. This is definitely true sometimes, but even when the reverse is true, that trope still gets trotted out and treated like an immutable law. Frankly, it sounds like this dynamic might be in your relationship, just with the genders flipped. My take on it is that …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:54 PM
0

I personally think that men are breaking up too little rather than women too much. I quite agree with that. Men who aren't married break up with women at roughly the same rate as women do (about 5%). Married women divorce at about 3% (so LESS than unmarried men do) but married men divorce at about a 0.5% rate. The issue isn't why married women divorce so frequently compared to married me. It's why men (like OP) stay in relationships that they should clearly leave. I think it's because men are ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:49 PM
2

but the women here are deeply, deeply biased towards their own sex This is true, and one of the areas of inequality that men face. But it's almost tangential to your post. And some of your other posts like 'destroying society and enslaving everyone' come off as unhinged. I was relatively happy before we began dating But you're not now. Why is that? I think that you are unaware of or in denial about you own emotional needs and how she isn't meeting them. She's allowed to have expectations. But yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:45 PM
4

Why do you liberals hate humanity so deeply? WFT? Is this another MRA point? What they are saying is don't solely rely on one single other person. Gave a diverse support network, and then it's impossible for one person to just end your world by turning on you, because you still have other people you are in relationship with. It's like you have understood the OPPOSITE of what they are saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:42 PM
3

Women don't want a man who needs them. Women want to be part of a part of a man's life who only needs himself. Yup. Putting the weight of your emotional stability on a girls shoulders is fucked. Yup. I don't mean any of this in a bad way, but having a partner or not having a partner shouldn't be a deciding factor in your happiness and stability This is probably the chief takeaway for OP in your post. OP needs to build other relationships so that his partner isn't his whole world. I do know that …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:40 PM
2

would you have preferred if I generalized all men and all women? If you are generalising about all men and women, then you're just wrong and the answer to your questions is NO. I do accept that the relationship you are currently living in is like that though. But it's not a relationship that should endure.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:36 PM
5

Yeah, men can save the relationship if they are attentive to their partner's needs. This is not true in all cases. Nor should is be true. Conspicuously absent from OP's post is what he requires in a partner and whether she meets those requirements. I think he's in essentially an abusive relationship and he's been broken down by his partner, his self esteem destroyed. OP needs to have more self respect and more healthy boundaries, and value himself enough. It's not all about attending to her need…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:35 PM
8

Threatening to end the relationship but not really wanting to is a form of abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:33 PM
3

whether or not I am adult enough to be deserving of a relationship with her Counterpoint: is she adult enough to be deserving of being in a relationship with you? The thing I'm wondering is, though, I always see women on here claim that the breakup is always the man's fault, it always comes purely down on him, it's always us, after all, the woman breaks up with us months beforehand, and no matter how much it hurts the man to lose what is likely his only deeply intimate human connection in his li…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:31 PM
4

Like what does it even mean? Do both have to like video games and anime in order to have a fulfilling relationship? It means, you both like to spend time doing things, and can do those things together. It's NICE to have common hobbies with your spouse but it's definitely highly overrated if you ask me. Speaking as someone whose marriage broke down in part because we didn't have any common interests any more, it's something I filter for when dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:12 PM
7

I posted a video about HealthyGamerGG and deprogramming BlackPills, and it was deleted because 'no blackpill'.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:38 PM
1

All this talk about "Biology" is false and simply used to manipulate. It's utterly not. New born babies are incredibly helpless, and the new mum absolutely has their hands full just tracking with that. THAT's the 'providing for' bit that men need to do. Everything else is just an extension of that. I totally agree that men don't need to provide for women that don't have children.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:37 PM
2

The relationship that boys have with their emotions growing up is that they tend to be insufficiently aware of them as well as not taking them seriously enough. Hard disagree. From my perspective, the relationship that boys have with their emotions is that they aren't even aware that they exist, barring major survival drives like hunger, lust and pain. However, their emotions DO exist and do drive behaviour, it's just that men rationalise their reasons as being objective and not emotion based. i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 11:33 PM
3

Be better.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 07:05 AM
1

People have always been free to drink poison that destroys them. You could drink methylated spirits (which is almost pure alcohol). You could watch 3 hour red pill podcasts. Neither is good for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 09:16 PM
1

How is an average guy supposed to find the motivation to wade through the mountains of rejection he must face just to snag a date with a woman he's meh about, when he suspects that same woman probably liked a post on TikTok that implied men like him are completely worthless? I think the secret is to not spend too much time on the apps. Find other things in your life to be positive about. How is the average girl supposed to date a guy she thinks is just okay when she knows he likely sees her as i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 09:13 PM
1

4 is enough I think. I'm not planning on having 13 children.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 11:06 PM
1

True, and I guess dating is ascertaining that the other person has the values and attributes that you most cherish in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 10:56 PM
1

What?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 10:54 PM
1

High value goes both ways. I think that's a fools narrative. There are LOTS of ways that people have value, it's not one single dimension and different people value different things. I put MUCH more stock in a potential partner having a libido, being smart and being kind than I do in their looks or career.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 08:28 PM
-3

With all due respect, your lived experience does not dictate reality. Agreed, and right back atcha. Alimony is a thing, Not where I live and apparently it's on the decrease in the US as well. I genuinely can't think of a single positive benefit It's a vehicle to raise children in.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 02:24 AM
1

Women after 30, if they haven't achieved anything exceptional in their life didn't upkeep their natural beauty, they lose the power to have options and be picky. Eh, not really. My take on it is that women are socialised to be compliant people pleasers, lacking agency of their own and waiting for men to approach them. They realise what a total crock of shit this is at some point in their thirties, and become much more assertive and direct as the develop their own agency.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 01:55 AM
1

No one should be deliberately making themselves solely reliant on someone to provide for them Eh, caring for pre-schoolers makes this a real issue though. You're basically saying that the best option is childcare and I don't think that's the best outcome for the child.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 01:40 AM
10

So, not a woman but I was discussing with some conservatives a while ago the topic of abortion. The end point we got to was that although I could not think of a single circumstance where I and my wife would get an abortion, I still supported it as an option for other people to have. Their very similar but subtly different position was that they also could not think of a single circumstance where they would have an abortion, and therefore it didn't need to be legal. It's possible to support a pos…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 01:33 AM
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spaces like the manosphere exist because they initially give those men what they want to hear There was a cartoon I saw over a decade ago, and it goes something like this: White woman: My life is hard, why is that? (Answer: Patriarchy and white men are to blame) Black man: My life is hard, why is that? (Answer: Patriarchy and white men are to blame) Asian woman: My life is hard, why is that? (Answer: Patriarchy and white men are to blame) White man: My life is hard, why is that? (Answer: YOU'RE …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 01:25 AM
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Yes absolutely, and that's because 'boys don't cry'. This isn't something that's the fault of women, it's how society (which includes women) treats little boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 01:18 AM
2

They realized how absolutely destroyed men get in divorce court. Speaking as someone who just got financially separated, this isn't true for men. Getting divorced financially nukes BOTH people. And typically men have higher earning potential because of gendered stereotypes about work and come out of divorce financially better off than women do, particularly longer term. men getting wrecked concerning custodial rights I think that this is something that positive and real change is happening on. M…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 01:11 AM
1

So I was recently asked by my girlfriend whether I would consider marriage in my future and my answer was 'I don't know'. For one, I'm still married to someone else (can't get divorced until later on this year). But the end of my marriage has somewhat shaken what I thought marriage was (I thought you left in a coffin). So I won't say that I'll never get married again, but I need to do some deconstruction and reconstruction around what I think marriage is, particularly now that it's not a vehicle…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 01:05 AM
1

I feel like no matter what work I do, I am fighting against the wave of negative sentiment that's much bigger than me. I think this is a function of being online too much. There are a lot of fringe viewpoints that get way too much airspace online that need to be taken with a grain of salt. It's hard to have any conversation when I don't even get swiped on or replied back to, you know? Are you talking about dating apps?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:55 AM
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I think that we have stereotypes and societal understandings about what it means to be masculine, and the notion of 'patriarchal masculinity' is basically what they are boosting. But it's not a new idea, it's the default. I do think there's a problem with the fact that there's a huge void representing men in progressive spaces. They are implicitly and sometimes explicitly treated like the enemy. I'm sure that makes them a fertile ground for the manosphere, if they perceive progressive spaces as …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:52 AM
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I agree that medically speaking, the default patient is male (which has its own set of problems). But in terms of mental health, therapy etc, the default model is developed for women and has a female patient as the default.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:48 AM
1

Younger me: absolutely 100%. I LOVE kids, I'm more clucky than most women I know. I was always thinking 3-4. Current me: Have kids. Don't want more. In my 40s.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:46 AM
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what problems are men having Men are socialised to be stoic and providers, which means that we don't have the same social support networks women have when having down periods in our lives. That's reflected in higher levels of homelessness for men and higher suicide rates. The mental health system is conditioned to treat the 'default' patient as a woman, which means that men often aren't diagnosed or treated correctly, if they are even able to access services in the first place. Society tells men…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:34 AM
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Yeah, I agree with that. On the other hand: you can't expect people to be perfect when speaking out against the struggles they're going through. Absolutely. Like, one massive problem that I think that men face is that society basically moulds us to be emotional cripples, relatively speaking. But to grow out of that, not everything is going to be expressed absolutely perfectly since we don't necessarily have the emotional palette to verbalise everything correctly.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:29 AM
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Eh, I think TheTinMen does a pretty good job at promoting mens issues and not just by attempting to derail an issue affecting women. I think those efforts get little to no attention however. I think it's also the case that social media echo chambers signal boost outrage and conflict, so MRA stuff probably only ever comes on your radar when it's in an outrage/conflict hurricane simply because that's the nature of the medium.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:28 AM
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I think you are leaping from conclusion to conclusion in your post, and when your initial premises aren't sound, everything you leap to from there doesn't have anything of substance. Rudy Gobert is a great great defensive player. To a lot of players and a lot of fans, what ACTUALLY matters is offense, and specifically, the best players are the ball dominant scorers. However, basketball is a team game and what matters is that you score more than your opponents to win. For people that care about w…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:25 AM
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I know im average and average isn't enough nowadays. Here's the thing. I don't struggle for confidence, and if you and I were to be compared, I'm sure there's a lot of dimensions along which I would be objectively 'better'. But nobody is better at everything. There is stuff that you like and are into more than I am. Lean into the things you are above average at, and live your life as an above average person too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 09:48 PM
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People suggest adopting a hobby that you are not interested in My marriage ended a couple of years ago, and I have been on several adventures since trying to make more friends, rediscovering old hobbies and maybe trying new ones. So I have definitely had a 'yes lets' attitude when people suggest that I take up hobbies I would never in a million years think or want to do for myself. I bought snazzy dancing shoes with one partner, but that relationship ran its course before I ever put them to use …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 09:07 PM
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If you want to meet women, it's a good idea to be where a lot of women are.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 08:58 PM
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I think the key part of all this is "YES YOU CAN DO THINGS JUST TO FIND A WOMAN. ITS OK". I dunno. I think you should do those things for yourself, and have 'and maybe a relationship will come out of it' as an added benefit. Otherwise if no relationship eventuates, it makes the hobby/adventure/journey seem like it was a failure. And that's not how I think we should be living life. Let's go on adventures. They will either be great, or will give you a good story.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 08:56 PM
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Totally agree. If option 1 is 90% men and option 2 is 90% women, it stands to reason that if you're looking for a woman option 2 will have more potential partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 08:54 PM
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older men who had it way easier, See, I guess I fall into this category, but I don't feel like that's me? Like this whole ranking out of 10 thing seems very childish to me and designed to engender insecurities in EVERYBODY who participates in it. Why would you want to do that? It feels like you're building up a defense system where more and more people who aren't exactly you can't give you any feedback, because admittedly their experiences are different.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 08:52 PM
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Men are more sexually attracted to social status in women than the reverse. Erm, no? There's a reason why women don't 'date down' and never have. The primary reason women seem to "be happy single" much easier than men is that most can get their needs met with relative ease. I think it's more that women have better social networks so they don't feel as lonely when not in a romantic partnership.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 08:47 PM
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Almost all of hobbies they list as an example are "girl stuff" that most men won't have organic interest in. That's because 'boy stuff' hobbies are sausage fests. I mean, that's a big complaint of the dating apps right? The gender asymmetry?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 08:43 PM
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Yes but that's not necessarily the easiest thing in the world. Yes but it's worthwhile developing those social skills and feigning having empathy and interest in others.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 08:43 PM
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Completely agree with 5 and 7. My ones: a. Everybody is a weirdo. Your goal should be to try and find a weirdo who complements you. Matching baggage, so to speak. b. Your profile needs to be designed to trigger engagement from the people you want to want to date, not just be your 'best' photos. You're not trying to get 1,000 people to like you. You're trying to get 1. c. Men shouldn't act thirsty. Try to have the same standards as women do and act the way they do on apps. (and if that means your…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 08:40 PM
6

What I look for: Kindness, intelligence, sense of humour, some overlapping hobbies/values, likes me. Obviously there's a lot more than that, but I think those other things are more negotiable.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 09:47 PM
1

What can I say? I think it's a masculine trait that many women find attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 01:01 AM
1

in this political climate, is it actually more hurtful than good? No, it is still good advice. popular “masculine” traits being unappreciated and too foreign to most young women Some examples please? I think there's a LOT of women who love that men know how to fix a car for example. Resulting in rejecting said men because they seem too valuable? Up is down? Left is right?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 09:44 PM
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Men who claim that men socialize less or have fewer opportunities to socialize are probably referring to fewer opportunities to socialize with attractive women I am a social person. I used to have friends. For me personally, in my marriage, my social circle slowly dwindled as EVERY evening became a night I was kid wrangling. And of course I had a full time job. And evenings were full on stuff with the kids. The end result - no friends any more, because I didn't spend time with anyone. My ex-wife…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 09:37 PM
6

I'd much rather be 'soft' than emotionally stunted or isolated/stoic.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 09:27 PM
1

There’s one claiming 50% of men never approach women but he says the sample is not big enough to reach any conclusion. What are your impressions? I'm in that 50%. Currently in a relationship but she approached me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 09:24 PM
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To come at this from a maths perspective, the best way to find the best partner when you have to choose from a group is to automatically reject the first 37% and then choose the next best person who is better than all of the first 37%. In a big city, maybe they will meet 100 people, so they are rejecting the first 37 of them. And then they will say YES to the best person who comes along after that. In a small town, maybe they will meet 10 people, so they are rejecting the first 4, and then sayin…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 09:21 PM
2

Ok, you win. That's the better joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 04:48 AM
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I mean, it sounds like there must have been watching the kids in there, right? Yes, absolutely there was watching the kids. That's a lot of work when they are preschoolers. So if they're older, it's not a surprise they didn't fall on you, but it doesn't mean she wasn't doing that. Completely agree. I'm fully aware that my 'solo parenting' today wouldn't be possible in its current form if my children were preschoolers. She wasn't the only person sacrificing. While she was 'losing herself as a sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 02:38 AM
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Men never admit the shit women are doing for them until she's gone. So we've been split for a little over two years, and the stuff I have had to pick up have been: Laundry Vacuuming Paying online bills like insurance or rates or electricity When I realised my marriage was ending I had a feeling like I might be overwhelmed by having to shoulder 'all she does' but now that I'm doing it all I'm like 'that's it?" I've seen a lot of dudes that use kids as their excuse for everything they no longer do…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 02:19 AM
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Hey that's fine, and that's a way of seeing things too. It's possible that my ex holds that opinion a little bit too. I don't agree with it in my personal case. My ex was a low energy person in general. I semi-regularly worked a full day and came home not only to no dinner cooked, but nothing even PLANNED (so no meat defrosted etc). My take on it is that kids are exhausting, and it's both easy and wrong to blame your partner for the bits of your life that suck because kids are involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 01:19 AM
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Because the internet lends itself to generalizing, and married women's general experience generally of general men they are generally married to is that generally these men let romancing go or toss it out with glee. Generally. And generically their average generic general experience is that the wives are trying to maintain romance (show affection, plan dates, dress sexy, plan getaways, get gifts, demonstrate love) and this is falling on the deaf ears of a husband who is far too settled in his wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 11:07 PM
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Doing 80% of housework is better than doing 100% Nah. Because 2 people create 150% of the mess a single person would. So doing 80% of 150% means she's doing 120%, which is 20% more than if she was doing everything for herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 11:01 PM
2

A vampire who shares a flat with 3 other vampires? He's a werewolf not a swearwolf.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 10:52 PM
1

Throughout my life, I've noticed that weak or less dominant men are often chewed out, even when they aren't doing anything to other men, let alone women. Is this.... 'Nice guy' ideology? It's not enough just to have a pulse and do nothing, The absence of negative qualities doesn't mean that anybody has to like you. People like you because of how you interact with them, you might have compatible interests or values. But later, the same woman makes the life of some "betabuck," who probably never e…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 10:49 PM
1

I'm still surprised that almost no one has picked Choice 1. It's the redpill lie. They say that that's who women go for, but it's not. Nobody should consider him as serious long term partner. Unless by 'dating' you mean 'casual sex'? I'm sure he's the guy that women will put the beer goggles on for and have a ONS with. That doesn't make him dateable though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 10:29 PM
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They are building a narrative about the world, but because of their general naivete and ignorance, it's simplistic and only considers their worldview. From their perspective other men who have similar struggles dating but are from other cultures and races are just contaminating the discussion and derailing it. When other people like them have different real world experiences that would make the model more complicated. It's similar to how they dismiss blue pill experiences, because they are threa…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 10:21 PM
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I think any intelligent person can infer what they mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 09:37 PM
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Alpha males don't exist. Or rather, they do exist but the scientific paper which originally popularised the term has been discredited by the original researchers. The term was coined by scientists who were studying wolves. Whey noticed in a wolf pack one slightly larger male wolf who was dominant and would 'put the other wolves in their place'. They coined this the 'alpha male' because he was at the top of the social pecking order in the pack. What they failed to realise then but realised subseq…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 09:34 PM
2

I believe girls feel as though they have options for a boyfriend. I think that EVERYONE should feel that they have worth. I think that women in particular are targeted by the fashion industry trying to tear them down and sell them beauty improvements and ultimately make money off them. So women's 'yass queen' to me is an attempt to build women up from their otherwise crippling insecurity. Does it sometimes go too far? Of course. Could we build men up more? Of course. But I'm not going to critici…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 09:29 PM
6

Absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 04:23 AM
4

Yes I agree. It's women fabricating reasons that flatter their ego but aren't reality. Not that much different from a guy assaulting someone at a party and then when everyone else looks at him like he's a wild animal he tells a friend 'they're afraid of my POWER'. The subject in question is reframing their actions as being neutral or positive, when really the negative response was in regards to their negative characteristics.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 01:03 AM
6

You've already put yourself in a prison built out of your own mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 12:57 AM
4

They don't need to fight you. Sounds like your biggest enemy is yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 12:51 AM
2

I guess I don't understand your goal. The overwhelming consensus is that it's clearly a woman, several people have given excellent detailed reasons why that is the case, yet you're still sea lioning people and apparently have no idea why people would perceive the coded language in the OP to be gendered.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 12:47 AM
4

Ok and when she divorces and get the kid anyways Why would you not get 50/50 custody?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 12:21 AM
1

The rub is, she is particular about the level of care, and wishes to provide more. Yeah, whenever one person has higher standards or cares about something more than the other, the onus is on the person with higher standards to do more.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 12:20 AM
13

It’s funny when men bring up custody agreements being weighed in women’s favour when the majority of men who request custody are given it unless they’re deemed unfit. Family courts typically want children to be around both parents unless one of them is neglectful or abusive. Yeah I think it's a flawed argument to complain about men getting less custody. Men that want it can get it. Other than the obvious fact that men are pressured to be the full time worker, so logistically basically they have …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 12:19 AM
2

If you have kids, would you still do the same knowing what you know now about what it actually entails? Are there any men who could have gone either way on kids but took the plunge assuming you'd figure it out, only to end up totally out of your element? I'm probably the most baby/kid oriented man I know, and yes of course. I think EVERYONE ends up out of their element at times, raising kids is hard. You just have to keep learning and growing as your kid learns and grows. I think there might be …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 12:03 AM
1

Are you trying to write a gender neutral version of the OP and you're seeking feedback on that?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 11:55 PM
1

No it's not, and men aren't intimidated by her. The 'intimidation' is a way of her rationalising them rejecting her. 'It's because I'm too awesome'. If you are arrogant, abrasive and unpleasant, then people can not like that and it's possible your ego lies to you and tells you it's because they are intimidated by you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 11:52 PM
7

And it is ridiculous. It's a good analogy though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 11:47 PM
3

I'm not intimidated by talking dogs, and I think that to a man who wants the gender conforming stereotypes in his relationships (i.e. he's the breadwinner) then the career first woman is a talking dog. That's not intimidating to him, it's just alien and incompatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 11:46 PM
4

I’ve always wondered where the notion of “men being intimidated by a woman’s job” came from? I think that it comes from having internalised that the role of being a man in the relationship is to be the provider. But if SHE can provide, what am I good for? Ultimately it's insecurity with a side helping of not wanting to do an equal amount of domestic labour.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 11:44 PM
2

I’m actually pleasantly surprised and confused about why purple pill men seek relationships with women Do you mean red pill men on this sub?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 11:38 PM
1

My question is ultimately do you only (or at least mainly) seek relationships with women because it’s the only way you can access regular sex? So I was talking about this with my girlfriend recently. The conclusion we came to was that the point of a relationship (as opposed to just a friendship) was twofold: the sex and the reduced costs from cohabitation.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 11:36 PM
0

This whole " throwing men under the bus" to get women's attention I.... don't do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 08:56 PM
1

It seems that people hugely overestimate the number of options average men have through their dating life. I don't need 'a number of options'. I only need one option that is a yes from me and I'm a yes from them. Who TF cares how many other people are interested in you if you are already in a relationship? Therefore men are basically offering commitment from the start This runs extremely counter to the narrative that a lot of men are just looking to hit it and bail. most women hold sex until the…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 08:07 PM
4

I see more whining about single mothers by men than whining by single mothers about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 10:40 PM
5

No by all means enjoy. The text and the subtext of your post seems at odds with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 10:38 PM
5

We’re not equal until male custody equals female custody As the person you are talking past said, we're basically there now.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 10:37 PM
8

And a special hug.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 10:35 PM
10

Women only work in air conditioned offices. Nah. I work for a construction company, one of the most sexist places around. Women work in un-air conditioned offices too. But jobsites are pretty toxic places for women to be. If I was one I wouldn't want to be out there either.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 10:34 PM
5

They like having modern sexual freedom and the ability to be promiscuous without consequences The way men have always been able to? but they delegate to men all the burdens. What total hogwash. Most solo parents are women. That's them assuming the burdens and consequences of children, not delegating them to men. They like to make a man’s wage and enjoy financial freedom but only if they can earn it from an air conditioned office Can we not let people enjoy nice stuff? I work in an air conditione…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 10:33 PM
1

Ok well I guess that wasn't what I thought it was then.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 12:06 AM
1

I think it's pretty ignorant to claim all foreign women are prostitutes I think you're misrepresenting what I said. Within the context of 'passport bros' being sex tourists, it would make sense that most people that they hook up with are prostitutes. It's absurd to think that EVERY women in the country they visit is a prostitute.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 07:58 PM
1

(By the way, when a red piller asked me about age gap relationships and I said I wasn't attracted to teenagers because they look like kids to me, he said I was lying.) The older I get, even 25 year olds look like babies to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 05:10 AM
1

You show that women he does not want to date have high n-counts. For example hypersexuality and risky sex are associated with a number of mental disorders. Correlation is not causation though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 05:01 AM
2

In an parallel universe where you didn't get married or got divorced, he could be older in the dating market and running across older women with high bodycounts and change his tune. All of this is just circlejerking because he's never actually had to deal with a high bodycount woman. So speaking as someone who this fits (largely blue, recently ended a low body count marriage, have dated higher bodycount people since) I think that bodycount questions fundamentally come down to how jealous you are…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 05:00 AM
2

I don't believe you have roughly 50% bad intentions because you're "Purple" How could this every be the conclusion you reach from someone who thinks they are purple. I claim being purple basically because I don't believe EVERYTHING about feminism, which is what I define the blue pill as. I think that there are aspects of it which look to disadvantage men when the greater goal is advantaging women, and I disagree with that. But otherwise, I'm pretty blue. I basically disagree with redpill.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:57 AM
4

She's saying that you are making sweeping statements extrapolating from three examples. Which is not the most valid form of reasoning.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:54 AM
1

I don't think they're necessarily DUMBER than the general population. I watched a really interesting video recently that talked about political ideology and how the smartest adherents of both the left and the right were the most polarised. They were more invested in the ideas and less able to discern the flaws in their sides arguments (all while being absolutely crystal clear about what the flaws in the other sides arguments are). I think something similar happens on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:52 AM
1

the course of my life has been governed by luck as much as it has been to personal opportunity. Yeah. There's a myth that a persons abilities determine how much they succeed, but I think that baseline resources (being born rich), followed by luck/opportunity and lastly ability are the three elements that go into success. The people on here read like underclassmen who have started to become aware of the nuances of life, but haven’t quite become aware of exactly the additional positions that makes…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:50 AM
1

But how can you know that? By comparing how people talk on here with how people talk in real life. And learning about echo chambers and trying to work out mechanisms for guarding yourself against them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:44 AM
1

Age gaps, bodycount and passport bros Age gaps yes. I think there's a fundamental power imbalance in relationships where one person has so much more life experience and often, material wealth as well. It's not a guarantee that the relationship will have abusive aspects to it, more like it's red flags. Body count, is actually a red pill thing. It's red pill that embraces slut shaming. Blue pill doesn't care about a partners sexual history (other than the benefits it brings you from having a partn…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:42 AM
1

It's a mindset that certainly authenticates the Red Pill, which I think is the point of the post.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:39 AM
2

Bluepill men are still attracted to young women, and when confronted about age gap relationships they just say "I didn't know how old she was when we met, then I just fell in love". I'm sure you could find some bluepill guys somewhere that this equates to (only a sith deals in absolutes) but by and large it's incorrect. I look at 20 year olds and they look like children to me. Another example, bluepill men say "passport bros" are bad but that they've gone to other countries and had sex with fore…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:37 AM
0

Yeah, I agree. It's one of those really nuanced things, because I think the default hypothesis should still be that men and women are equal (and by and large people exaggerate and overstate the differences between men and women). But there are still differences between men and women on the whole even if the ends of each bell curve overlap.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:30 AM
2

Yep. It's easier to treat men like shit then have empathy. Women are great at making men feel bad to make themselves LOOK better. Because of narcissism. I think that's taking it slightly too far. Each sentence there I agree with less than the previous sentence. I think it's a HUGE mistake to conflate 'women on social media' with 'women'. I agree that lots of women on social media present as narcissists or their content is rage bait. But that's the algorithm at work, it's not something fundamenta…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:28 AM
3

I think my viewpoint is absolutely as valid as all of the young incels on here that think their relationship myths are correct and their worldview and is the only view.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:26 AM
2

That's not how I would look at it. The way I see it, society raises men to be emotional cripples. So it's an order of magnitude harder for a man to make friends with other men, because it's two different people both with their own varying level of inability. Now, of course the solution is to help men develop emotional skills etc, but that's a struggle for me to do for myself, it's near impossible for me to do for other men around me, who might not even perceive this as a need in their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:24 AM
0

(i.e. they think men have a choice). But, men do have a choice? It's always 'this person, yes or no?' In a weird way, female relationship insecurity is a subtle form of misandry. No it's not. I think that women are predisposed to worry more than men because one time in a million, that extra worry keeps their toddler alive. Men are predisposed to worry less and take more risks, because the hunt that kills him when he was gored by the mammoth keeps the tribe alive through the winter.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 09:30 AM
13

I think it's more that it's a deliberate misunderstanding of the issues that men face, their loneliness, craving for connection etc etc. To turn that all into 'women don't owe you sex' dismisses and marginalises those other very real and more important needs than just sex. Because let's face it, being sexless has a really good alternative, just run one out. But being lonely is a much more complex problem and one that's harder to vilify men for.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 09:15 AM
2

“wOmEn dOnT oWe yOu SeX” Yeah that's a really insidious straw man that women/feminists have about men. Because lonely men actually crave a real emotional connection and relationship with women, it's not all about the sex and not all men are players. I think that people on both sides who continually repeat what are basically lies aren't worth debating with, they are irredeemable.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 09:13 AM
6

It's hard to come to terms with the fact that they will always want you less than you want them. Logically thats always going to be true for one partner in a relationship. It doesn't always have to be the man though. In fact, I think that stereotypically it's women who have more anxiety about relationship security and need reassurances. Hence the resentment brewing in communities like these. I think that the resentment in communities like these is that they build straw men about what the dating …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 09:11 AM
6

Women hold all of the cards, it’s no secret. Eh, I'm an older guy, and this definitely doesn't ring true in my experience dating as an older person. I'm no player or serial dater. My favourite clothes are cargo shorts by a mile. But the two times I have gone on dating sites in the last year I have been in a relationship before I even finished completing what I thought a finished profile would be. I'm TOTALLY disinterested in game playing. The idea of women as a castle surrounded by 'nos' and men…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 09:08 AM
4

Women have no idea what true loneliness is, and that is beyond romantic interests or sex. Social isolation is a very real problem for men Yeah, I agree that this is the larger issue that men face. OP is kinda sorta right, but her point about women picking better men, or the 'done to dead' drum that young horny men bang on here about how they can't get laid enough are really side issues to this larger one.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 09:38 PM
3

Your post is more about women than men, but I think that the same principles apply across both. To be happy, people need to foster and maintain friendships with others, and have hobbies and pastimes that they find rewarding. As a very broad generalisation, that's something that women are brought up to do and men by and large are not. The script men are given is that they are be earners and providers. For the stay at home mothers who are exhausted because they don't have enough time for relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 09:34 PM
1

No? Unless you mean your mortgage goes up? Or when you say 'your' do you mean 'you and your ex' because you aren't financially responsible for them any more other than child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 09:08 PM
2

Women have inate value Isn't women's 'innate value' more tied to their fertility and appearance? Men rarely get awarded children THat's historical. The current presumption by the family courts is on shared custody. Men getting less custody now is because they don't want 50/50, they want less. How does divorce punish women at all? Her asset base suddenly halves, and her income drops to a fraction of what it was.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 08:31 PM
1

He’s saying that objectively women’s fear of him specifically is not valid Yeah but because none of us are omniscient, everybody has to go by their subjective impressions.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 02:38 AM
1

The biggest question is how reasonable is that women are in more danger? I think a good analogy of this is to think about pet dogs. Now, as everyone knows, dogs are the best. Better than people. But, it's also true that sometimes dogs attack people. For someone who has been attacked by a dog in the past, I think it's very reasonable for them to have essentially ptsd or trauma which makes them unreasonably afraid of basically all dogs they meet in the future. But I draw the line at them sharing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 02:33 AM
–

"the future of dating will be sugaring and hooking up" is not one of them. Oh yeah, I think OP's premise is absurd. I think there's a tiny niche (<1%) of basically sex workers who get a disproportionate amount of attention. It's foolish to think that that will represent the median dating experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 02:29 AM
1

Hard disagree that having feelings and being nurturing are feminine. I was talking with a friend the other day about my penchant for overthinking things, and she thought that overthinking things is a feminine trait. You would be surprised what people think. I do think that being emotionally stunted is more 'stereotypically masculine' but I don't think it should be that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 02:25 AM
–

Well, sure. Another way to look at it is that married people are SUCCESSFUL daters, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 02:12 AM
3

I agree that that's not about equity. It's about addressing inequality.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 02:11 AM
–

I would go so far as to say that masculine aggression is almost never the answer. The only time I have engaged in it recently while dating was breaking up dog fights (just picking her dog physically up and removing him from the fight). Too often, the demands of external things and people are sacrificed in the face of a determined will. What does this sentence mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 01:54 AM
–

Surely the sample size would be too small to be able to make any sort of generalisations?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 01:52 AM
4

It's not a competition. It's just a demonstrable inequality that men face. Higher suicide rates.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 01:48 AM
3

Someone who sees single or divorced men as paedophiles would be seen as mentally ill. This feels like a man saying 'sexism doesn't exist because it doesn't happen to me'.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 01:46 AM
2

It's the social aspect. I agree with this. When my marriage came to an end I realised that I didn't have a single friend, because over the years my attention had been gradually turning inwards with the demands of kids etc. All of the people we saw regularly were HER friends. So, one of my big goals moving forwards is to throw myself into hobbies and grow my social networks. Also, there is the dating aspect when you already have kids. As a single dad, I considered my potential dating pool to be s…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 01:43 AM
–

How do unmarrieds form their opinions? What's the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 01:25 AM
2

I don't see many advantages of being male You can walk outside at night and not feel afraid. You can say something in a work meeting and be listened to. You're automatically expected to be competent in what you claim you can do. You often get paid more. You can be assertive/pushy/aggressive in the workplace and either be rewarded for it or not suffer significant reputational damage. divorce This isn't an advantage for men or women. Divorce fucks everyone over, women slightly more than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 12:51 AM
3

I think trans experiences generally are a fascinating insight into the experiences of both men and women, given that both groups have 'walked a mile in each others shoes' so to speak. Generally I think both groups have a slight bias towards the group they are transitioning towards. Would it be a bad Idea to point women who believe in male priviledge and female oppression towards that contrast? Yeah I guess. I mean it's another evidence point. I think higher levels or male mortality and suicide a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 08:25 PM
1

It doesn’t help that male attractiveness has less to do with pure elegance and aesthetics and more with strength, height and ability to provide which is itself a gender role. I don't think this is true. I think that women place more value on 'ability to provide' than men do, but nobody wants to be married to a useless parasite. It's only extreme cases of sugar daddy relationships (which I think are an extreme minority and can be discarded as an outlier from what a 'normal relationship' is) where…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 09:13 PM
1

But surely that explains all of the sweat stains that women have on their clothing too right? Or are you saying that women's bodies don't work the same way?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 08:48 PM
2

I feel like social media has raised everyone's standards. I feel like full face makeup and filters means that I don't know what attractive is any more. I just assume that every 'attractive' face is really just artificial.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 08:46 PM
1

Yep. I'm working from home today wearing cargo shorts and a T shirt. When I'm in the office it's dress pants, dress shoes and well, the same T shift (still gotta have cultural signalling there too that I'm not a 'shirt').
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 08:44 PM
1

Speaking for myself, my shoes are sometimes a bit dirty, my shirt sometimes has sweat stains, my hair isn't always neat and I'm not always clean shaven I think you have confused hygiene with beauty. Women over the world are not equally educated and aware of feminism, so they might not know that they could (in theory at least) lower their beauty standards. This doesn't ring true to me. I don't think it's an awareness of feminism. I think it's more societal expectations pushed by the fashion indus…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 08:35 PM
5

Yes, although I would reframe it slightly differently. I wouldn't keep doing the same thing if what I was doing was failing. I would experiment with different things to see if they worked better.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 06:03 AM
2

People say "just be yourself", "get hobbies", "be passionate about something", but what they actually seem to mean is "be interesting to me, do the things I do, go to the places I go for the same reasons I go there". I think both men and women are looking for partners who are a mix of doing their own thing, and have mutual activities which can be shared together. Or, in short, "be normal". Don't care about hobbies, don't have passions, unless they're a handful of socially acceptable ones. ???? N…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 05:45 AM
3

So what if I ran a half-marathon and climbed Mt. Washington in winter? All immaterial Absolutely. Most of your hobbies that are solitary don't 'count' for anything in terms of impressing a relationship partner. You should do them for you, not to build up a portfolio of stuff to impress a potential partner with. shorter than average I think the internet makes more of this than it is. Confidence matters SO much more than height when you are speaking to people. And shallow people that only care abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/24 09:49 PM
4

I'm a shade over 6 foot. And I have a healthy enough ego that my concern isn't just that somebody would be interested in me, it's that I would also be interested in them. If your concern is 'being interesting' then I think your goal should be to learn things and cultivate hobbies. Part of my makeup is that I LOVE to learn things and I'm a voracious reader and I go on a lot of 'deep dives' into subjects. Sometimes other people seem a bit like foreigners to me, so one of the things I am all up in …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/24 09:09 PM
3

Insecurity isn't attractive. I'm somewhere on the spectrum myself, and the only big dating difference for me is that I really don't like places with loud noises like concerts or full bars/cafes etc. Everybody is a weirdo. Dating is about finding your weirdo and being their weirdo.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/24 08:03 PM
3

Direct game is not optimal for you. I also have contempt for 'direct game' so there's that also. I agree that you should signal what kind of person you are and hope to attract someone who is into the kind of person you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:52 PM
3

It used to be about single mothers who had no other choice. Now I see more and more people going the sperm donor route by choice. THere's this right wing conservative idea of the 'deserving poor'. That is, SOME PEOPLE who were poor but met our moral standards and were just down on their luck, OF COURSE we should have compassion of them and help them. But the rest of the people (particularly people not like us) THOSE people should rely on the govt which should punish those people, which is only j…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:49 PM
1

I am just saying the normalization is weird. Except, solo parents exist. Previously they were shunned just for that fact. That's not right. The 'normalisation' you are talking about is treating them with dignity and as if they are just like everybody else. Why is that a bad thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:37 PM
8

women initiate the vast majority of divorces This 'talking point' is such a crock of shit. If a relationship is on life support somebody needs to call it. The fact that women are usually the ones to 'man up' and do that isn't a point of criticism for them, it's a sign they are being responsible.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:34 PM
3

Off with their heads! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:32 PM
1

Yet apparently it's perfectly fine for these kids to grow up without fathers? What do you think the alternative is? A happy family where everyone gets along and smiles all the time? Or one where both parents beat the shit out of each other every evening? Divorce is a tragedy. But sometimes the alternative is worse. I have seen a weird normalization of single-motherhood by choice and going the sperm donor route. THat's their choice though. What alternative are you proposing that would take that c…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:29 PM
24

4b doesn't seem that much different from people joining monasteries or nunneries back in the day. People are free to do what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 08:30 PM
1

Most men know where they stand. The starting QB is going to be the king of high school. The guy who wins fights (or LOOKS like he can) is going to have very high status, locally. The celebrity/pro-athlete is basically god. Eh, this might be true of highschool or cheesy 80s movies. But in reality those guys end up working for the nerds who end up with higher status and salaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 08:04 PM
1

Lets say her bf Is kind of an inept person, If you are inept, basic life skills aren't hard to learn. So go learn them. You don't have to know everything and be an advanced woodworker (for example) like her dad was). But you probably should know how to change a tire, or arrange for insurance, or pay your bills on time etc etc. Basic adulting things. If you feel secure enough, I would make a joke about it. "My dad would know how to orientate without navigator" -> "Isn't it amazing that smart phon…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 07:54 PM
1

I think so. There's are significant groups of men who are 'chubby chasers' or into goth girls or whatever. The fashion industries standard for female beauty as being looking like an androgynous male boy was dictated by gay fashion icons (and no shit they preferred boys). Not heterosexual men. To the extent that men want thin women I think it's hip-waist ratio. A narrow waist is attractive (or maybe that's just me....)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 07:48 PM
1

one side, the redpilled, claims that society is pro women, that it catters and pedestalizes them, the bar is astronomically high The other, claims that society is mysoginistic and catters to men's needs Or there's a third side, that says that there's inequality that negatively affects women, and this should be recognised and addressed. And that there's inequality that negatively affects men, and this should be recognised and addressed. I think that currently there's more of a cultural blindspot …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 07:45 PM
1

most guys aren’t going to bail right away might be a total sweet goddess in those apps that wants you I don't understand what you mean by these sentences. Could you please explain further?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 03:16 AM
4

Gaming. Mostly board games like Ticket to Ride etc (they are the most social) but I've also joined a bridge club (despite being a 'baby' there since I'm not retired) and I'm about to play a computer game of Dota with my kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 03:15 AM
2

Why are you deleting the apps so quick and settling on a girl so fast. Because I think the grass is greenest where you water it? I have a busy life and struggle to find the time to spend with one SO around my social life and kids, I just don't have the bandwidth to be engaging in shenanigans. If you’re so good at this why not be a player for a few months. I'm not trying to make myself out to he some God or something. Being a player doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. I guess some people are j…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 12:13 AM
1

When a woman dresses, she considers a man to a slight extent - the extent necessary to hold him and to encourage him to provide (in the widest sense) for her. Every other investment is aimed at other women. I don't think it's this so much as the constant messaging from the fashion industry that women's value is based on how much men desire them. The industry creates insecurities in women so that they can be exploited for financial gain. No matter what a particular man does or how he spends his d…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 12:08 AM
9

If all of the things you listed are a concern to you, one of the best things to do is to create much tighter camaraderie among yourself and your male peers and friends. OP's post resonates with me and this is exactly what I did. I rejoined a hobby group and started another group that meets are my house weekly/fortnightly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 11:59 PM
1

What do you think will happen? I think there will be more widespread awareness that men need to have an emotional vocabulary and emotional support networks as well. They might not be identical to how women do them, but they will be similar. When someone searches for this data online the treatment this phenomenon is given it is impossible to find anything related at all. I think the 'MensSheds' movement is basically the public face of men rebuilding social networks that starts with where they are…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 11:58 PM
4

Do you know guys that match all the time and also gets dates whenever they want. So this might sound like a humble brag, but I think I am in that category? I don't think I am great looking, but the two times I have used dating apps I have met up with someone and deactivated my profile on there even before really finishing filling it out. But this isn't some plate spinning thing. I want to meet someone, contact some people, meet someone, we click, get off the app. We would compare our matches, wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 11:46 PM
0

Eh, it's kinda true though. There ARE still advantages for men and inequalities for women. It's just that there are also advantages for women and inequalities for men. And the former group is probably STILL bigger than the latter group. It's just it's more like 55/45 instead of 99/1 the way some people seem to think.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 08:31 PM
1

I absolutely think that it exists, and should be stamped out. But I also think that different people have different standards, and the person who wants the toilet to be REALLY clean should be the one who cleans to that standard. I also think that mental load' is both true and a little bit of a cop out. I have always done the grocery shopping, and put the groceries away. Which means that I always know where food is in the house, because it's in the 'right' place (as determined by me). The mental …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 01:02 AM
2

Same for me. Kindness is an absolute must have, intelligence is a really really want to have, and confidence is kind of a casualty of high intelligence due to imposter syndrome or overthinking things.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 10:33 PM
1

the kind of men we’re discussing Right, but there's also a 'the kind of women we're discussing' where my views are correct too, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 11:05 PM
4

Nah. With both parents on file it's the mum that is rung 80-90% of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 11:03 PM
6

More so by men. They’ll be viewed as the woman being un-feminine when in reality she’s just upset and expressing her dissenting opinion with the same passion and vigor as her support. Yeah, I think there's definitely an element of that. Women are socialised to be compliant and people pleasers, so when they start advocating for themselves or being disagreeable they are a 'bitch' in a way that people just wouldn't even blink if men did it. Whereas men are socialised to be stoic and emotionally vac…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 09:06 PM
6

When these personality traits come out in an argument the woman’s partner is more likely to think less of her than the man’s partner. I don't think so. I think when those qualities are expressed negatively like that they will be perceived negatively. The man's 'fiery passionate loud anger' will be reframed being aggressive and abusive, and the consensus advice will be to get away from him to be safe. Male anger is demonised in a way that female anger is not.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 08:48 PM
2

If you only have one significant and meaningful relationship in your life, you're putting all your eggs in one basket so to speak and if there ever are problems and that relationship ends, you're fucked. That's the boat I was in when my marriage ended. I realised that I had NOT friends as the pressures and needs of family life had gradually consumed all of my free time. I now am consciously making lots of time for hobbies that involve other people and actively putting effort into maintaining fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 08:38 PM
18

Who does the school ring when the kid is sick?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 08:31 PM
0

What do you think explains it? I think that women are more guarded around straight men. It's covered pretty well in the book 'Self Made Man' where a woman goes undercover to live as a man and experience how both men and women treat her differently when they see her as a man. It shatters a lot of straw men and misconceptions about male privilege.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 08:29 PM
2

She can be bold and loud if it’s in agreement with him, but it’s a turn off if she’s disagreeing. I don't think that anyway is really looking for a partner who is bold and loud and disagrees with them. That sounds like it would get pretty old.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 08:27 PM
0

It's just that women often seem too lack the introspective ability to understand how differently things look outside their pov. I'm so glad that red pillers have this ability.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 03:24 AM
1

I think many men just put so much emphasis on their job (even if it's just a mediocre job) that they don't want to do anything outside of that. Speaking as a man who was (and still is) VERY involved with their children, while also being the primary income earner for over 16 years, what women say they want and what they actually want don't always line up. When I was home I was the primary parent. I drove cooking dinner, I put the kids through their bedtime routines and read them stories, I took t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 07:57 PM
1

Why do you think the video provoked such a strong reaction in some camps in the manosphere? Do you need to look much further than slut shaming and purity culture?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 10:57 PM
-6

Men should not have to pay child support. No, child support should be based on how much custody each parent has of the child, along with the incomes of both parents. If she has more custody or even just a lower salary with equal custody, then child support payments from the man to the woman are right and fair. Just like if he has more custody or she has a higher salary, then child support payments from the woman to the man are right and fair. If nobody can afford it, both parents should pay a mu…
/r/MensRights01/03/24 12:01 AM
2

For sure, and I can only give my subjective opinions on the matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:54 AM
3

I'm curious to know what people think of this model of dating dynamics. I think it's rubbish. The 'for women' section is the most wrong, but even the men thing is wrong too. Looks matter on an extremely superficial level (at least for me). I value personality, character, interests, brains all much more. As well as the happenstance of us having overlapping free time so that we can hang out together. The ideal man, in womens eyes, is the "prince charming" who is both extremely loving and invested,…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:50 PM
4

Something that introverts usually don't have in abundance. So here's the thing. One of the ways that society has changed for the worse is the loss of third spaces and the general pattern of people getting entertainment via staying in their own living rooms. But you don't HAVE to live that way. Seek out other things, like community festivals, meetup groups, hell, even host a group in your home. women tho have a habit of dissuading men who would try to approach a woman they see at the library/coff…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 07:22 PM
2

"Wondering if there are any good ones out there"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:14 AM
1

So, when you say 'getting worse' you mean that it used to be better right? I don't think that's the case. I think we have a higher standard of living now than we have ever had, and living in better conditions than we have ever had. Relationships still end, people still cheat, but this isn't something new under the sun that hasn't happened before. I think there's better awareness of mental health issues than ever before, so in a way we're 'consciously incompetent' with regards to mental health, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:12 AM
–

Go hang out with some homeschoolers.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 06:11 PM
1

By settling I mean marrying the person you are not most attracted to. I mean, I'm not married to Natalie Dormer.......
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 06:09 PM
1

Here are some progressive tropes that ring false to me: 'Nice guys' (you can't put niceness in and expect a relationship out) like no shit, men don't think that. 'Privilege' men can't complain about their problems, they need to focus on being better allies for the people who really have it hard. 'Empathy gap'. Empathy doesn't need to be extended to men because they are the 'other'. Also, men are to blame for the 1%, and colonialism. 'Believe women' men are always the perpetrator in domestic viol…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 09:29 PM
1

Note, I do not state that the explanations proposed by manosphere are correct. They just offer something without stating that the guy is some kind of a failure in general. I think you are broadly correct. I also think that there's an element of 'cis white men are the enemy' in progressive spaces that makes a lot of young guys feel that that isn't where their tribe is at. There are a lot of progressive explanations who why men feel lonely, isolated and disillusioned that are not just wrong but co…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 07:54 PM
1

Why would there be a statistically relevant rise of chronically single men who, despite trying, can't land a date, much less a hookup or "situationship"? This should be obvious to you. Because women are choosing to be single rather than date them. Where are these women? They are in hobby groups doing things with other women. The reality behind the term "situationship" really seems to be a few guys now having several women on rotation My understanding of the term is that it's used to describe a r…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 07:31 PM
4

A game of who can be “daddy” or “mommy”, in the sense of being the authority figure and the higher status one in the dynamic. Nope. Everybody wants to date someone who has their shit together. I'm currently dating a single mum (I'm a single dad) so really what we both want is to date someone caring, who is a good parent, has their shit together financially and emotionally, and is into the other one. And people losing interesting when they feel the other person dropped their guard and showed that…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 09:29 PM
0

don't approach a woman like a potential romantic/relationship prospect, get to know them as regular human being first So the getting to know them part is genuine and good advice. I agree the 'get to know them before approaching' bit doesn't work for me. I much prefer cold approaching on dating apps (women on there are already signalling that it's ok to approach them with intent) and basically ask for a coffee date straight away. THEN the getting to know them happens in earnest. if you treat her …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 08:36 PM
6

OP is right, but there's still a double standard here. She doesn't feel like sex? Totally fine and you need to check your entitlement. You don't feel like sex? This is a big deal and we need to have a conversation about how her needs aren't being met.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:33 PM
1

I don't live in the states, although I accept that as roughly true everywhere. I also don't think that tiny imbalance matters very much. There are what, 2% more 20 year old men than women? The comment I was responding to didn't qualify that they were only talking about 20 year olds, however. They were talking about all women and men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:33 AM
1

Eh, I'm making a foray into online dating, and there's a overwhelming amount of criticism for men who make things too sexual too early. I'm happy to follow the lead of the woman I am dating, who luckily has a libido and likes me. I'm kind of this guy for the first 90% of this video.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 11:07 PM
2

That's my understanding too, but it was recently challenged by someone who said there's equal numbers of both, but men are more repressed, which I think could also be true.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 11:04 PM
1

1 A man must like and respect himself and in no way feel undeserving, unworthy or below a woman. 2 A man must be confident and willing to lead a woman and make decisions without having to ask her. 3 A man must also like and respect women just as they are without having unrealistic and irrational expectations of them. 4.. and this one is a bonus and it is an absolute requirement for a woman to fall in love with a man: the man must actually be interested in what this particular woman has to say ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 10:40 PM
3

The other issue here is that a larger percentage of women than men are in relationships. Mathematically, how?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 10:29 PM
0

There are more barriers to women being as openly promiscuous as men. These include: Slut shaming / purity culture that is more targeted at women Women being physically more vulnerable and thus less likely to put themselves in risky situations Women having lower testosterone and thus being less sexually charged and aggressive Bad sex for men still usually involves them orgasming. Bad sex for women usually doesn't. So the risks and higher and the payoff is lower. Makes sense really. But they are n…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 10:27 PM
14

I think the reason people want to push this narrative that women are happier single is because for a long time women have been shamed over being single more than men. And because some radfem academics are quite frankly, hostile to men. So single women being happier supports their anti-men agenda. most data shows men are actually happier married than women are and less happy when single compared to women I think that single women are probably happier than single men on average because women are b…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 01:46 AM
-1

stupid, pseudo intellectual stuff. You mean this? basic female nature
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 01:36 AM
2

Except that the concept of the meritocracy serves several nefarious purposes - is justifies and lauds the people on the top with the power and wealth, because CLEARLY they are smarter and more talented than the rest of us or they wouldn't be where they are, right? And secondly, it drains our empathy for people on the bottom, if we feel that they did something to DESERVE being where they are in the hierarchy. Those are both bad mindset things to have.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 10:56 PM
1

But I've never heard a woman say that they want to improve themselves for their husband of bf. I just had a version of this conversation with the woman I am dating currently. It was with regards to how 'iron sharpens iron' or how you change for the other person and how the other person being in your life shapes you for the better.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 10:37 PM
3

I think there's a very real future forecasting scenario women envisage, where she thinks "when we have children and I am looking after little ones, what will our life be like?" Which is a completely valid thing to think. I think it's at the fundamental level the reason why women are looking for a provider - when they are vulnerable and unable to provide for themselves or their baby, they want and need a partner who is capable of that. Everything else is just cultural reinforcement of that basic …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 10:33 PM
1

men are absolutely being propped up I think that there are structural inequalities that penalise women, but I also think that there are structural inequalities that penalise men, and I hate that there's mental gymnastics that get jumped through to avoid addressing or even acknowledging inequalities that men face, usually because of BS claims like 'privilege'.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 10:29 PM
3

Many conservatives would say that the idea of meritocracy is the basis of their conservativism Right, but implicit in that belief is that the current people on the bottom e.g. the prison population or urban youth living in relative poverty are that way because that's the natural order of things. When it's not, there are a whole lot of systemic forces creating and pushing those people onto the bottom, and the current system isn't right in perpetuating those inequalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 10:26 PM
1

I don't think that you understand how much your appearance can be improved by grooming and hygiene and basic fitness. But you're right, there's nothing to be done so just lean into your victimhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 07:18 PM
1

Smile. Have a nice personality. Be in shape. Have good hygiene. Know how to adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 11:43 PM
6

non-conventionally attractive men who lack wider appeal Dating isn't about being appealing to everybody. It's about being appealing to somebody who you also find appealing back. I think that the vast majority of men can aspire to be average as their floor if they just cultivated a better personality and had better grooming and personal habits. Being negative, bitter etc absolutely is like drinking poison in terms of what it does to your personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 08:43 PM
1

This is why you have to do any sort of approach or initiation in stages, and only progress to the next stage if she matches or reciprocates what you tried.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 07:47 PM
1

No, I think that the current dating problem and the mental health crisis are BOTH symptoms of the isolation caused by societal changes due to social media use and high speed internet. People are stay at home shut ins in a way they haven't been before. But my question is do you think the current dating problems seen in the world play a large role in the mental health crisis? Or do you think it only plays a small part? If anything the social media addiction and reduced amount of contact people hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 08:30 PM
1

Eh, whatever. I recently replied on an older dating thread that was basically asking where all the good men are on dating apps, and my answer (echoed by a few others in the thread too) is that we get approached by women on the apps and are only on there for very short periods. Like, I created a profile in Jan and suspended it in Jan due to now being in a relationship. I think that women are socialised to be compliant people pleasers and it can take them some years to throw off that yoke and seiz…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 07:36 PM
2

A dark side for who? I could see downsides for the man, depending on who he is in the sense that the woman could seem much less invested than he is in the relationship, and basically feel entitlement. For the women, I guess the darkside is all of the effort that goes into the exercise/beauty routines, plus the cost of cosmetics, plus the inevitable fact that you will get older anyway. Probably there's a lot of anxiety/insecurity there for both parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 11:35 PM
2

For some reason, people think it’s funny to watch other people get hurt by accident. I dunno, I find it pretty funny when someone I am with slips over. Assuming they haven't injured themselves that is. Then there’s the femdom flex humor—reversing gender norms for laughs—which is weirder, but more common in “feminist” films. Oh I LOVE subversive humour that reverses the normal outcome of expectations. I think that most humour is funny because you're surprised by it. Otherwise you would be expecti…
/r/EverydayMisandry02/02/24 09:49 PM
1

This is only true of fake social media personas. For people who aren't terminally online, this is a nonissue.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 04:14 AM
1

Societal misandry being normalized is what makes people disregard abuse against men as funny I think that's more that men are seen as stoic and tough, while women are seen as vulnerable. So when men are busy proving how tough they are that can look a lot like those same men being abused. So 'jokes' about abusing men are really more 'see this tough men! jokes, he's really not'. Is men being stoic and tough misandry? I think it falls more under the umbrella of 'toxic masculinity' (or patriarchal m…
/r/EverydayMisandry01/02/24 06:04 PM
2

No, I don't think I said that? This feels like a bizarre interaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 12:03 AM
2

Who is that you think is shaming you, and why?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 11:25 PM
-1

Who are we conning exactly? I think the idea that someone had sex with someone else years ago and that this somehow makes them dirty or impure is hot garbage. That's the con. And you’re saying I’m not capable of emotional maturity because I haven’t had enough sex? No, sex and emotional maturity are not the same thing, even if they both tend to come in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 10:46 PM
1

It's not hard to keep it in your pants. Eh, sexual purity is a con. Having emotional maturity, being able to talk through issues, knowing what your own boundaries are, there are lots of skills and experiences that people can really only get by being in relationship with others.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 10:10 PM
-1

What I mean by a past is a woman who’s has more life experience than you. Everybody has a past, has a history. And you have more of it the older you get. What's your game plan? To not age?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 09:54 PM
1

I think people like people that aren't boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 07:24 PM
2

guys getting hit in the balls Wait, so is anything bad happening to a man ever evidence of misandry? I thought it was only if it was specifically and maliciously targetting men that you could call it misandry?
/r/EverydayMisandry29/01/24 08:12 PM
1

They all go to play and frolic on a retirement farm, just like the dog you had when you were a kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 08:06 PM
2

I think we would need to make predictions about society, since relationships happen within that context. I think in the future we're all going to be living in high density mega apartments, and the default arrangement will be individuals living in their own apartment. 'Living together apart' will be the norm, with friends and romantic partners visiting you in your apartment but not cohabiting. It's clear that most women find most men unattractive and men are doing progressively worse with each ne…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 08:05 PM
1

to act like it isn't something you have to deal with is silly. Eh, yes and no. I agree that everyone has up and down days, but part of being a mature adult is realising when that your internal feelings aren't the fault of the people around you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 07:13 PM
1

No, shit tests and mood swings aren't a mandatory part of a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 04:34 AM
0

Well, I think it's ultimately a self-defeating philosophy. Stuff can help in the short term and not help in the long term though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 03:47 AM
5

None of that explains what red pill does to help these men except say "they lied to you it's not your fault". Believe it or not, that's the comfort lie that is the most valuable. It means that you don't have to accept any responsibility for your failure or engage in uncomfortable introspection. The world is full of all sorts of differing information about dating there is no conspiracy here. There doesn't need to be an explicit conspiracy for there to be a systemic problem. Back in the 60s when '…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 01:20 AM
3

A lot of people gloss over what a big difference a smile can make. Absolutely. I'm just starting my journey on dating apps and in my fledgling forways (I can't take a good selfie to save my life) I have realised that pictures where the person isn't smiling are WAY less attractive than ones there they are smiling. Like, why even put up non-smiling pics unless you are doing some sort of jokey pose. Genuinely smiling >>> attempting to smile >>>> not smiling.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 10:56 PM
-2

The only dating advice that matters is "lose weight / gain muscle". That's not nothing, but better advice is to be nice. Nobody wants to be with a person seething with bile and resentment.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 10:53 PM
1

Aren't they indicators of incompatibility though?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 10:52 PM
2

I would really like to know what parts of the redpill the guys here find so helpful. So I'm not a redpiller, but I think part of the problem is that the non-redpill advice is kinda got lies in it? Like the trope about nice guys and how they think 'put niceness in, get set out' is just a disingenuous lie which slurs guys who are nice who genuinely desire intimacy. There's a whole subtext in society about how at a core level all of the problems are caused by 'straight white males' and how everyone…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 10:51 PM
0

But if your a guy who wants to improve his life and wants to be successful with women, where would you tell him to go? The first place to go is internally. Introspection. He has to know himself enough to know what he wants in a partner, and then ask himself what would that putative partner be looking for in a man? Then he needs to grow himself into being that man. With regards to dating apps, I guess the various subreddits for them are there are they are good up to a point, but for me, understan…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 10:45 PM
2

Oh. An unused tampon. They need to get over that with the quickness.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 10:22 PM
3

giving women the franchise really fucked up society (frowns)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 10:21 PM
10

It’s incredible how many men on here are utterly incapable of recognizing a joke. Eh, jokes which are essentially insults or attacks on the recipient aren't really jokes to my mind. Just like how in 'allo 'allo 'you stupid woman' wasn't really very funny. It was gaslighting played for laughs.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 10:19 PM
5

There's also the absolute disgust for periods, way beyond any other bodily function. Not saying they aren't "gross", but people act like seeing a wrapped unused tampon is the same as seeing a used shit-covered piece of toilet paper. Eh, aren't they both biohazards similar to but more of an issue than say a used hanky? I think there's a general disgust for all bodily emissions that I think is fairly understandable.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 09:24 PM
–

Eh, I think that there's a whole industry built around telling women they should be insecure about their bodies, and that they should spend money on various things to obviate that. Women boosting each other (even if as you say it is unwarranted) I think is designed to counter some of that poison they are immersed in daily. "The Hivemind" pfft. This is a delusional take. Women are no more a hivemind than men are. "Disguising their status" this just reads to me like purity culture, which I think i…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 07:46 PM
1

So you just don't feel love, you don't just fall for someone? I think limerance is a very poor basis for a lifelong relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 10:49 PM
1

It something that is acceptable but it's not what you truly want. What do people truly want? I think more and more we don't actually know. I am fine with 'settling' for someone who is acceptable. based on reading this sub it seems that men are desperate for just any random women regardless if they truly love her. I feel like there a lot of young people who seriously lack life experience. I would take their perspective with a grain of salt since I doubt very much whether they know what they want.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 10:44 PM
4

Maybe they are saying stop crapping? Which you know, is good advice if you're trying to chat someone up.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 10:30 PM
3

Firstly, I have kids and my kids come first. So no, women aren't the primary motivator for me. But if you don't have kids, is your largest drive towards women? If you think of it in terms of appetite, the two biggest appetites I have are towards women and food. But there's diminishing returns. If your need is met then you aren't hungry for more. For me personally, masturbation is a more than fine alternative, so I don't NEED women in the same way that some people on here do. Is the sex drive and…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 07:30 PM
4

warp-speed turbo autism to not notice it. I feel personally attacked. And I say this as someone who once answered "would you like to go out for coffee?" with "I don't drink coffee".
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 01:49 AM
3

???
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 04:46 AM
3

Well, just being listened to at work meetings for one. At my current job I have had to repeat things my female coworkers have said and suddenly it's an idea that gets considered when I say it when it didn't get any traction earlier.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 06:19 PM
1

I just want to know why they can't advocate for men too? Some do, but it's easier to energise your tribe if they have an enemy - something to rally against. For feminism, they start with 'Patriarchy' and via some sleight of hand somehow maculinity/men are the enemy. It's also much easier to defeat straw men than the actual issues of the side you have demonised. Nobody wants to realise that their chosen bad guys are real people with their own world view, that weakens their own position. Why does …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 07:48 AM
2

Does this statement hold true? No it does not. People are people, and women today are roughly the same as women from 60 years ago. I mean, if you look at it, dating apps overwhelm women with an abundance of options. That's true, but that's driven by male thirst, right? Beauty standards for men have never been this high. That's also true, but also true for women. Just see how many complaints there are about filters in photos of women. Beauty standards for both men and women are impossibly high. W…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 10:13 PM
2

for sure in Western and first world nations it isn't in any way systemic or institutional I think that parts of it are. When I got married to my wife, the bank turned my banka ccount into a 'joint' account just by changing the text name on letters (but it's still really my account). We then switched banks and had a brand new account that was fully joint, and joint credit cards. When I separated from my ex-wife, I needed to take her off the accounts. So I rang up to find out what documents she ne…
/r/EverydayMisandry18/01/24 09:44 PM
62

This is kinda true, but it's because of agency. Men are viewed as having hyper agency (more than they actually have) so they are disproportionately blamed for bad things and rewarded for good things. Women are perceived to have less agency than they actually do, which means they don't have the same consequences for bad things but also don't get as much credit as they deserve for the good things that they do. When it comes to more serious examples you just need to look at how the news reports fem…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 08:53 PM
3

Yeah that's reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 04:25 AM
1

Speaking personally I would be, although not explicitly discussed with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 04:12 AM
2

I think that society conditions women to be compliant people pleasers. When that is most effective is when women are younger. They are more passive, more agreeable. As they age they realise what a shit sandwich that conditioning is and many break out of it. That means they being much more of a vocal self-advocate and much more assertive about pursuing what they want to pursue. I think that part of the anti-women-ageing narrative about 'hitting the wall' is resentment of women discovering the abi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 09:24 PM
5

I on a date last night, things we talked about included tv shows we liked (Taskmaster!), travel, philosophy, parenting strategies, board games we liked, plus we made homemade pizza and played a board game. Not TERRIBLY different from having dinner with a friend on a non-date.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 09:18 PM
3

No, if she was dating with and sleeping with other people then I don't think we would be a good fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 08:27 PM
1

Yes but you would have those childcare costs regardless, would you not? Is your argument that it would be better for the man financially to be the full time carer and receive some token child support from his ex?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 07:03 PM
1

I didn't crave it, but it is what we did, and your points about it hurting the womans future earnings is absolutely true and makes it look bad in hindsight. Of course, neither of us thought our marriage would break up when were were thinking about this. Here was our thinking: It's best for our kids to have a stay at home parent I would have been happy to be the stay at home dad, but she both didn't like her job her job paid less than half of what mine did. So it didn't make fiscal sense to go do…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 12:51 AM
5

I agree that it is a double standard. One of the issues that men face is a lack of empathy towards them. What you are describing in the first paragraph is the expectation that women should receive empathy as a default. And it's true, women should receive empathy. But that should be extended towards men as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 08:56 PM
6

I have noticed only in the WEST people ostracise people just for their polticial views. Except for other places that murder gay people for existing. But yeah, you're the oppressed one. I do not see People on the right ostrcize anyone What do you think bigotry is? Do you think it is a serious problem? Trust me i am the smartest in my team, I work harder than anyone! You're the bottom person on your team. Everybody has an ego, and everybodies ego lies to them and tells them that they are better th…
/r/MenSupportMen16/01/24 08:37 PM
-1

It's a fact that alimony isn't a thing where I live. And child support payments are nothing to do with gender, they are solely based on income and custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 08:31 AM
0

The reason that I will concede why men do not want to end a marriage is because of custody and men generally have a lot more to lose financially than women. The other reason of course being that men get more relationship benefits than women do, in the sense that women tend to shoulder more of the domestic mental load.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 10:50 PM
1

The red pill, like many philosophies/movements began with noble intentions. Pretty sure it began with bitterness and resentment towards women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 09:40 PM
4

I think that your two points are really one: Men are perceived to have agency, women are not.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 09:24 PM
1

So, my question to women is this. Not a woman, but I'll chip in my 2 cents. There are three aspects to the financial separation: splitting all the assets 50/50, child support (if any), alimony (if any). I am in the process of getting a divorce and the asset separation nuke has already landed. We have 50/50 custody but I'm still paying about $800/mo because of the disparity in our incomes. And alimony isn't a thing where I live. So she's 'getting more' in the sense that I still make child support…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 08:44 PM
3

Reality shows otherwise. I don't think that's true, unless you think their marital assets belong to HIM and she has nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 08:39 PM
4

Their is a clear disparity between when a man and a woman might feel "abused" There is also a clear disparity between when the police feel a man and a woman are abused.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 08:38 PM
4

he’s aware financial ruin is beyond the corner Divorce financially nukes BOTH parties. Unless you consider all of their money to be secretly his money.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 08:37 PM
5

But women are the ones causing the majority of divorces. I don't agree with this. I think that men are conditioned to being stoic and put up with functionally dead marriages when really they shouldn't. So when their wife decides to pull the plug, they should have done that too and there really isn't anything to 'save' from the marriage even if one or both of them still have some grieving to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 08:36 PM
1

I think that part of it is due to tradition and cultural inertia, it's the expectation because it's been the expectation, and part of it is due to men having a greater appetite for risk (or conversely, women being more vulnerable and more risk averse). The gender that worries more keeps their dumb toddlers alive more, and the dangers of leaving base camp are more edured by men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 06:45 PM
2

But again, how much of this is societal? I think that men wanting to be the 'big man' who provides feast food to woo women predates civilization, so it's wired pretty deep.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 09:21 AM
1

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 11:41 PM
1

So, nearly a century ago? Why scheme so much about what are essentially irrelevant hypotheticals?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 11:20 PM
1

I suppose we have to analyse why that is the norm. Isn't it just a combination of two factors: Firstly, new mothers have to actually physically recover from childbirth (which is basically having your insides ripped out of you). The can't just go back to a job next week like it's nothing. Then there's breast feeding. Those combine to give mothers a headstart on being the primary caregiver that is insurmountable unless you make a lot of effort to swim upriver. And secondly, when jobs were really l…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 09:49 PM
0

female breadwinner/male full-time parent relationships can work Sure, and I would have no problem with that. It's not the norm though and as long as ONE parent is staying home, and it's USUALLY the woman, then women will see that as a possible future outcome and vet accordingly. Yes?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 08:34 PM
2

How old are you? Are you Gen Z? Millennial? X I can guarantee you women aren’t splitting the bill because they want to see if I’d be a good pick for raising a family lmao. I have kids, and my dating pool is largely going to be other solo parents. I think those women are filtering out the men who 'insist' on paying for them because there's going to be a cluster of other personality traits along with that (plus also I guess wanting to deflect accusations of being auser). So likely an entirely diff…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 08:21 PM
1

What do you think being 'progressive towards men' would look like? Because I think men are better and more engaged fathers now than they have ever been, and that's definitely a big thing in my book. But it seems that the prevailing attitude towards dating for men is “what can he do for me financially”. The last 4 first dates I went on with different women, ALL of them made a point to split the check. Maybe you're just being terminally online? Or maybe you're picking women who aren't a good fit f…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 07:41 PM
4

When do you think is the last time the US engaged in a war of self defense?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 03:16 AM
1

Because you're generally not going to be in their living room, which is where they are?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 09:06 AM
–

But what sends me is that these examples always include abusive dynamics and mentions of domestic violence and hop immediately to versions of "just choose better." and devolves into victim blaming DV victims while simultaneously getting mad at women divorcing men (when a portion of those women experienced some version of DV). Totally agree. I think that 'choose better' is a form of victim blaming and while yes, if the first person you date is an asshole that's on them, but if every person you da…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 09:49 PM
–

I think part of the problem is that if you disagree with someone and are arguing counter to them, you tend to try and rebut all of their points. 'Women are entitled gold diggers'. Sure, some (a vanishingly tiny number) are, but to acknowledge that dilutes your argument. OP, if everyone is trying to 'balance' the argument in ways you think are extreme and wrong, perhaps your arguments come off as being extreme to them? "women initiate most divorces" It's a basic fact that women take on more of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 08:15 PM
3

Because stoicism and being emotionally stunted are toxic roles that take men decades to unpack in adulthood (if they ever do). And those problems are wired into them at a young age with things like 'boys don't cry'.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 09:27 PM
2

Yes, because they are reinforcing toxic gender roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 08:58 PM
8

Sure, and it's simple misandry when women say it. Just like 'Internalised Misogny' is just misogyny when men say it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 06:59 PM
1

I think that's the mindset of a 20 year old. There are more perspectives than just your own.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 12:56 AM
1

I don't think I am in the 20% of men you are talking about (although maybe I am, I have a good job, tall-ish, own a house and am mentally stable), and I have absolutely no game whatsoever, but I have been the one who ended the last couple of short term relationships I have been in. Everyone has selective power if they actually have standards they follow through on. I think young people are way too looks focused (although maybe that's just the dystopian hellscape that in online dating). I care wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 12:34 AM
1

Eh, that's kinda true because men have more testosterone therefore everyone expects men to be 'hunting' more. Why don't you try having standards of your own as well (other than superficial ones). The truism I heard was 'women are the gatekeepers to sex, men are the gatekeepers to a relationship'.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 12:21 AM
1

Male behaviour rewards manipulative women who play the field or date downwards Is it as fair to say this?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 12:02 AM
8

Do you think female on male rape is underreported, and even downplayed by society? I think that in most peoples heads, nonconsensual sex and rape are the same thing. But they aren't in a legal and statistical sense. Rape is the type of sexual assault where you are penetrated. So when a woman has nonconsensual sex with a man, she isn't guilty of rape because he hasn't been penetrated (he's been made to penetrate her).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 05:53 AM
2

They have been told by feminists and women’s magazines that men no longer care if a woman was highly promiscuous and if they do care then they aren’t right for them anyways I think this comes down to how jealous the man is. I don't have a jealous bone in my body and so the above sentence rings true for me. I can see that it clearly doesn't apply to every man though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 12:50 AM
5

I think rejection is unpleasant no matter who is doing the rejecting.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/23 10:37 AM
12

So if someone is likely to kill me for rejecting them, then when I reject them, I'm gonna treat them like shit...so they don't kill me. Uh, sure. Yeah, that totally makes sense. I think if the downside of giving someone bad news means they will react really badly and maybe be violent with you, then you will be much more cautious and self protective when giving them the bad news.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/23 06:27 AM
2

They are being sold a life style which isn't real by a sector of feminists and liberals. So it's feminists and liberals who are running the sex industry?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/23 06:19 AM
6

Purity culture is bullshit. It's toxic and wrong and for some reason applies mainly to women. It's a tool used to control other people, to coerce them into behaving the way you want. I see more than a hint of it in this post. I think that sex trafficking is abhorrent and wrong. But someone essentially going into business for themselves, I don't see what crime that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 06:56 PM
2

It is not evidence that the success rate is better if you marry older If a higher risk factor is marrying younger, it's a tautology that marrying older lowers risk of divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 07:31 PM
5

when guys say that women don't want to date seriously until they are older, This is their copium explanation for why women don't want to date THEM while they are in their early 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 07:29 PM
1

I do think that there's a maturity shift that happens in both men and women about 25. In a sense your brain is still a bit half-cooked before then, but it shrinks and 'locks in' who you are. So you might be perfectly suited to someone (and they to you) when you are both 22, but there's a distinct possibility that one or both of you will change slightly and be incompatible as 26 year olds. So it seems that in my experiences with people I know, it's actually the opposite and the woman has a much h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 07:28 PM
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The penalty for being male > penalty for being black. Agree to disagree. That's just a simple non-sequitur. I don't have the reference in front of me but a while back I was reading about wrongful conviction rates, and they match up IDENTICALLY with higher rates or being stopped by police, higher rates of being arrested and charged, higher rates of conviction etc etc. There's bias against black men every step of the way, and yes I'm aware that you can't fully test out the difference there since t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 11:22 PM
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Based on what? Based on prison sentences for the same crime. Seems like demonstrably the opposite is true. The stats you show actually support my point. Although men have it worse, black people have it worst in that category.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 11:01 PM
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I think that it's correct within it's narrow scope of what it looked at, but that it's a mistake to draw conclusions more broadly about society than that. For example, when it comes to interactions with police, I think 'being black' is demonstrably a bigger penalty than 'being male'. In terms of teacher bias, 'being male' is a bigger penalty. (although of course in both cases due to intersectionality black males are worst off).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 10:20 PM
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Anti-male bias is greater than class bias and race bias. This definitely isn't true as a broad generalisation, even if there are specific things where there is more bias against men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 09:57 PM
3

I’m all for the study of psychology, but what people are looking for here is reliable, 100% accurate psychic transparency from people who, in general, don’t even fully know their own psyches. Agreed. Plus of course there's treating a whole group like they are a monolith which is basically doomed to failure.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 09:24 PM
2

People need answers and “That’s just the way it is” is a terrible answer because it doesn’t explain anything. Plus, it actively inhibits actually finding out the real answers. "People get sick because they have sinned" said the church in the middle ages. If everyone accepted that we never would have discovered germ theory.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 08:16 PM
3

Why are men more masculine than women usually? Well, you have to start with sexual dimorphism don't you? Men have more testosterone, more muscle mass etc etc. Those sex hormone based differences lead to a cluster of behavioural differences. Does it boil down to strength and the role of the male homo sapien in society? Yes, although you need to be very aware that 'the role of the male' is changing. 100 years ago, most jobs involved a lot of physical labour so being a man was a distinct advantage …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 07:58 PM
10

It's because they are just clusters of behaviour, not something that defines a gender. Take being violent and aggressive. That's something that is MORE prevalent in men than in women, but not exclusively so. It's not MANLY or MASCULINE to be violent and aggressive, except it kind of is. But that doesn't mean that you should lean into that and try to cultivate it. Everyone wants tenderness. That's apparently a feminine trait. Everybody wants someone who can get stuff done. Apparently (outside the…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 07:46 PM
1

Does it still mean being penetrated though?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 10:49 PM
1

I imagine if a woman is working on a far away construction project, or she's a miner or something - she might get really scared of being so far from civilization and won't have that "comfort" a man would have in an unusual situation ​ I think this is a pretty bad take. Yes, women are less likely to be more risk adverse than men, but to me an equivalent 'unusual situation' that involves leaving domestic comfort would be being a part ranger. Which is roughly equal numbers men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 09:41 PM
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It's also something that you can do together, or they can accompany you by sitting down with a glass of wine while you do your stuff. Whereas being a business badass earning all of the money is less likely to be something they can be alongside, unless you need a trophy wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 09:37 PM
1

That's because rape is defined as basically being something where only men can be the perpetrator. I think that most people think of 'rape' as 'having sex with someone without their consent' and if you use that broader definition then the numbers shift more to 60/40, which is utterly different from the 99/1 narrative which predominates in society.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 09:32 PM
1

Is that separate from the fashion industry in general (which I think is terrible) or a subset of it?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 12:06 AM
1

Where are these sources? I don't have a rolodex of sources to engage in internet battle, but a quick google found this: https://www.stats.govt.nz/assets/Uploads/gender-and-unpaid-work-findings-from-the-time-use-survey-2001.pdf So although women do more domestic work than men, overall it evens out due to men working more paid hours.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 10:37 PM
1

Everyone is sold the story of marriage, kids, a house with a picket fence etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 10:32 PM
1

I certainly wouldn't dedicate any of my time going around and insulting them like trp do to women. Just like some men wouldn't go around insulting women for aging.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 10:31 PM
1

I think there's a slight bias to your responses there. I guess we have read different sources. All I'll say is if it truly is much worse for women, then why do women want to get married?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 07:33 PM
1

My brother is a house husband, and it's not the bed of roses you seem to think it is. Men think that most women wouldn't be happy long term with a husband who is a homemaker. This is a key sticking point. Their entire life revolves around her and her career, but at the same time as soon as the kids were in school he HAD to get a job and more importantly, a job that she respected. While still continuing to be her emotional bedrock and support. It's not too much different from the general problems…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 07:27 PM
1

Red pill is why women used lead based makeup in the 16th century.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 07:20 PM
1

I don't understand. Women can't avoid aging (men can't either) and short men can't avoid being short?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 07:19 PM
3

virtually all of the physical features that people find beautiful right now are the same today as they were a decade ago, or a century, or a millenium I think that part of the subtext here is 'don't look poor'. So one way our society is VASTLY different from all others that have gone before it is the superabundance of food. Before the last 100 years, being fat was always a wealth and status signifier and thus attractive. Now that even poor people can become obese it's no longer a status marker (…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 07:17 PM
1

Married men do less household labour vs single men But more total labour if you add external and domestic labour together. There's a reason why those disingenuous stats always glom onto 'domestic labour'. It's as honest as talking about the wage gap. Married men live longer than single men Whereas for women their lifespan is shortened by having kids. Once you take kids out of the mix married women also live longer than single women. How is that true? I personally think it's complete BS. In a mar…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 07:10 PM
1

What benefits do most guys get out of marriage? I think marriage is a more stable unit to raise kids within.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 07:06 PM
2

I see many conversation around dating divulge into "well men rape/assault women" as a catchall for any complaints or comments men have in regards to the dating market or traditions even when it's irrelevant. I think within the context of 'I'm meeting this strange man I don't know to get to know him better', you ARE 'schrodinger's rapist' and need to recognise that. You're right that it feels sometimes like a blanket insult used to demean all men though. The people that mean that probably shouldn…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 07:01 PM
2

By contrast, every man I know who's single is not happy at all with being single, and desperately wants a girlfriend. As a single man, I think you're in a bubble. Happy single men aren't on your radar because they are invisible to you. I think part of the problem is the social isolation of men. Since the unhappy men have a problem, who can they tell about this? In the age of social media the answer is EVERYONE. Whereas women in comparison tell their friends, but are also less lonely because they…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 06:53 PM
4

There's a constant bias agains men on this sub. I don't find that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 01:40 AM
1

Basically nobody except for bottom feeders.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 02:00 AM
1

Most people think they are above average. Below average people think they are average. I dont see the point if having these high expectations just to be met with disappointment Eh, seems about the same as a woman not wanting to 'date down' even if the man is on her level.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 09:35 PM
1

This is the real reason behind the high suicide rates and misery of men these days btw. It's not because of "loneliness" or "depression". Hard disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 10:26 PM
6

English isn't my first language, but I know enough to know that "red pill advice" is not the same thing as "red pill advice exclusively". Which was the whole point of my post. You need to learn about subtext, since that was what I was addressing. It's entirely possible that the people who disagree with you aren't dumber than you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 07:51 PM
12

You can't claim everything the Red Pill advises as being exclusively Red Pill advice and all credit goes to it. What if Red Pill advised you to keep breathing? Wouldn't every other ideology look pretty silly then? Everybody following them would keel over and die, because you can only keep breathing if you follow the Red Pill!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 07:41 PM
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THESE MEN LITERALLY THINK NFTS WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM A FORTUNE. I think NFTs are a good gender flipped red flag that is roughly equivalent to astrology.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 04:15 PM
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holistic medicine This is tricky because it could just mean 'science doesn't know everything and you have to treat the whole person' or it could mean 'homeopathy and healing crystals'. The former is reasonable while the latter is as batshit crazy as anti-vaxxers.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 04:12 PM
9

The majority of men are directors. For entrenched sexist reasons. I don't think this is something to be proud of.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 08:21 PM
2

The only thing men need from women is sex due to our biology and testosterone. Nah, when you have pre-schoolers in the house there's real value in having one parent be a primary carer rather than two working adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 08:20 PM
10

I'm so curious about this wall. We live in a society that idealises youth. So naturally, both men and women as they age are falling out of the 'desirable' demographic that we keep getting told we need to be in to be seen as attractive. I think that's part of it. I think the second part is that women are socialised to be compliant and agreeable, and it takes them a decade or two as an adult to break out of this conditioning and start being their own advocate. For some men, this means that these n…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 08:09 PM
2

I think that there are a lot of different ideologies that sell you a fantasy about how the world works, the narrative of which includes that YOU (the target audience) have some sort of people able and THEY have the solution to your problem. Even if that problem is entirely fabricated. I think that RedPill is attempting to explain to men their dating and relationship problems in a way that they find emotionally comforting. which will cause them to be sorry. Yeah that's just a revenge fantasy. The…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 08:00 PM
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Why can’t the men make more money? By and large they do, but not all of them. It's a bell curve like every other population statistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 08:36 PM
2

I think this is similar to comedy in the 60s where the default joke was 'haha women are dumb'. We've collectively decided as a society that those jokes aren't funny and I think we're in the beginning stages of that regarding men as victims right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 08:53 PM
1

I think that the primary reason it's seen as funny is because it's subverting expectations. Lots of jokes have a surprise punchline. Then also, someone getting hurt is funny, 'man hit in groin by ball' is a trope for a reason'. But underlying it are issues that I think are gaining social traction. The idea that men can't be victims I think people are becoming increasingly aware of as a falsehood. And the empathy gap that men face, along with some people low key being hateful to men is also somet…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 08:48 PM
1

I like music but never liked bands/night clubs/raves etc, just because they were way too loud. as I have gotten older I have become aware of how noise sensitive I am. Occasionally I will have music on but most content I consume brings it's own noise so the music just gets in the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 03:33 AM
2

Like, do yall genuinely think telling a man who's isolated in life this dogshit actually helps him? SPeaking as a man who's isolated in this dogshit life, I AM trying to work on myself and make more friends, engage more in hobbies, and build a social support network. "hobbies" will not fill the void in your heart To me 'hobbies' is a proxy for 'do stuff with other people'. And yes, we should do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 08:48 PM
2

I think that many men are below average, but consider themselves to be average while having desire for partners that are above average. I think this is true, and also true for women too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 10:03 AM
2

Yeah, it's such a southern baptist point of view that catholics aren't Christian isn't it?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 10:52 PM
1

Fair enough. So the apparent discrepancy from my perspective is just because there's more homophobia thus the bi men are more closeted?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 09:11 AM
2

The thing that is missing from your post is bisexuality. I think that WAY more women than men are bi, and about the same (small) numbers are exclusively homosexual. I really do think it’s biological though, and not socialization/culture. It can be both.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 09:16 PM
7

However, I cannot remember seeing a convincing explanation of why they want this admission so badly There are some people who think that because men have 'privilege' then they don't suffer inequality in any area of their life. It's like having privilege means nobody has to have empathy for you. Which is ironic because one of the problems men have is that they get less empathy extended towards them already. So, men, please explain why is it so important that you win the oppression olympics I agre…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 03:02 AM
10

That's not true today, but it's also irrelevant. Stepping up and being a parent is really hard. Particularly a solo parent. It's the opposite of women failing to be accountable, since sticking around to raise a kid for 18 years is anything but.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 11:45 PM
8

Yes because you fail to acknowledge that women play a 50% part in a 2 person sexual coitus that creates a child. What planet are you living on? Of course women play a 50% role in creating a baby. YOU failed to acknowledge that the US invaded Iraq under false pretences when they claimed 'WMD'. Why did you not acknowledge that in your previous post eh? I know it's hard for yall to give women even the tiniest amount of accountability but god dayum bro. No, solo mothers are taking MORE than 50% resp…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 11:00 PM
2

Seems pretty self-evident to me. Completely agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 09:42 PM
1

They also fuck men Is that a bad thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 09:26 PM
18

accountability is women's kryptonite That must be why women are so often left as the primary caregiver when their relationship breaks up. Because they can't stand being accountable. Edit: I can't believe I have to add this, but /s
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 08:20 PM
3

The “I’m an asshole because I dont get empathy” circular logic because they’re not going to get empathy by being assholes. As a man who doesn't get empathy, I don't think I'm an asshole? These people always talk about other people being privileged. I think that 'privilege' as a term is toxic. The way it's used in discourse is a way of discounting or invalidating whoever has the 'privilege' as a way of levelling the playing field. I don't deny that privilege exists in certain times and in certain…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 08:18 PM
2

I think it's pretty obvious why just cheating is very different than cheating + lying about paternity. Different strokes for different folks I guess. If I found out that the kid I had been raising as my own for 10 years just so happened to have a different sperm donor, that wouldn't change how I saw them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 09:20 PM
1

It's cheating, then having another man's child, then trying to pass that child as their own for him to take care of and invest in for the rest of his life. Eh, how is that different from being a step-father? The only difference is the cheating/lying/deception. The kid is innocent.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 08:55 PM
5

but child molesters are more common than women commiting paternity fraud I don't think that's true.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 08:46 PM
1

It doesn't really feel like and apples and oranges comparison. Surely the equivalent of women cheating is men cheating? Not men being sexual predators? The magnitude of how horrifically bad those things are aren't in the same solar system.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 08:45 PM
3

This is comical. Don’t spout shit you can’t prove. I'm gonna go off on a tangent here, please bear with me. In the 80s, everybody 'knew' that saturated fat caused heart disease. So the science looking into sugar's effect on heart disease was a career ending move, because you were going against the zeitgeist of what 'everyone knew'. Currently, 'everyone knows' that men are sexual predators and rapists women of course are not. So a contrary theory that women are either equal or near equal sexual o…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 08:42 PM
5

A GO bag with out ANY prior indication of abuse is ridiculous When my marriage went off the rails my ex cosplayed as a battered wife. She secretly opened her own bank account and put $5K in it, made up a go bag etc etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 08:29 PM
2

Clearly women are getting that attention from other guys of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 09:50 PM
1

Everyone wants to think that they matter more to others than they really do. The right wants to think that most people secretly want to be conservative.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 05:29 AM
6

Yes, the word partner has typically been used by gay couples. And unmarried couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 12:54 AM
3

I think that the male loneliness epidemic is a real thing, although I have a slightly different take from OP. I agree that it's something that men have endured for generations now, but the thing that is different now is that it's not acceptable for men to be stunted emotional cripples and just live out their life that way the way a lot of men who came back from the second world war did. Now, if you're not an engaged father, you're a suboptimal one. Expectations for men are higher, and I think th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 12:10 AM
4

That's just the trash taking itself out though. No need to worry about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 03:43 AM
2

I think this might also be age-specific advice too. Older women usually make it a point to offer to pay/split. I guess they are filtering out the men who have a problem with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 03:42 AM
2

Women, yes, men not so much. Assuming the relationships are between men and women, that's just mathematically impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 12:06 AM
1

Sure, if one person is a millstone for you, then your future prospects improve. My point was that the act of splitting in half financially sucks for both partners, because together they had a combined wealth that was double what they had apart.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/23 07:30 PM
1

Are you asking if they came into the relationship with different assets? Or whether the man has a higher paying job?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 06:17 PM
3

Those sound like unequal relationships to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 02:15 AM
4

Just as many as there are men, they just aren't getting angry and aggressive about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 12:10 AM
1

I was with you for most of your post until you got to this And there's the gay men who western progressives love to celebrate so much nowadays Times were better when we could openly hate the gays wasn't it? None of this closeted stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 12:09 AM
3

Never heard someone complain men are giving silent treatment or not taking accountability. I think when men do it it's more characterised as 'stonewalling'.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 12:06 AM
3

Solo mums get support from the government So they aren't starving and are only moderately destitute. Nobody gets rich living hand to mouth on govt welfare.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 12:05 AM
4

Kinda feels like you're fishing for people to express opinions that validate what you already feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:58 PM
5

who is more likely faster to get a partner assuming none of them cheated? Who is more likely to end up alone for a longer period of time? Please answer these questions. Are kids involved? Because I can see solo mums taking decades out of the market while they focus on their kids. If we're talking about hetero relationships, the number of men and women in them always axiomatically has to be equal doesn't it?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:48 PM
7

Just cause everyone loses, doesn’t mean someone can’t lose more. Men only lose more if you consider that their joint property is mostly his. It’s very likely he entered the marriage with more “stuff” and those splitting everything in half was more costly to him Sounds like the case for a prenup.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:46 PM
2

And "anecdotally" there is a ridiculous amount of silent treatment and zero accountability and gaslighting. Sure, but the only one of those that is particularly gendered is the silent treatment, and even that isn't exclusive to women. Problems are both sides but the stats I listed in the post has one conclusion and I wanna know why? My theory about why men initiate divorce less is twofold. Firstly, I think that women by and large are burdened with the brunt of the relationship 'mental load', and…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:44 PM
1

I don’t think it’s really true that a woman needs to uplevel your life. I am not seeing that overall. I think it depends on what you mean by upleveling. Even someone earning less that you is going to increase the total household income when you are cohabiting. And they can have social networks and interests that enrich your life as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:30 PM
8

Men cheat more, yes. Why? Ever wondered? Because they are cowards who couldn't do the decent thing and actually end their current relationship before moving on. It's a general lack of integrity for those men. Higher drives and no intimacy as the only intimacy men get are from their partners. But you clearly just shifted all blame on men. Well done. I do blame men (everyone) that cheat. Masturbation is a much better option than infidelity.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:28 PM
6

But you are missing my point here. Men work through their problems, even in friendships we talk and sort it out. Women don't, the moment it gets hard, they walk out. That doesn't pass the sniff test to me. Anecdotally there's a ridiculous amount of 'I told him and I told him and I told him what the problems were, but he's only interested in working on them now that I have left him'. But you are missing my point here. Men work through their problems, even in friendships we talk and sort it out. W…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:24 PM
8

No, joint household assets are split evenly. Everybody loses financially in a divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:18 PM
8

It makes a lot of intuitive sense. Both people know that the relationship is toxic, but she's used to assuming more of the mental load for household duties, and this is just one more of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:17 PM
5

That study states that "Women are more likely than men to initiate divorces, but women and men are just as likely to end non-marital relationships, according to a new study..." (emphasis mine). Totally. So to me the issue is not so much why women initiate divorces more, as why men choose to STAY in what are unsatisfying relationships where women would leave the equivalent relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:16 PM
6

Women do seem less willing to put up with a marriage they consider unsatisfactory than a man who feels the same. I think that the reverse is true. Men are conditioned to be stoic and put up with more than women would. But men are also conditioned not to tell the whole world about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:15 PM
2

I think social media makes us more disenchanted with our lives. The goalposts of what it means to be a good father have definitely been moved a lot, and I think that fathers are more involved parents than they have ever been. To me, it does seem like you need to offer an "uplevel" to a woman's life for her to even entertain the thought of you. This is true, but it's also true that women need to uplevel your life for you to consider them. If you just had a median income job in the past, that was …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 10:10 PM
1

To an outsider after all both look almost the same. That's because the subjective difference is inside the woman's head. You're feeling sexy in that you're getting sexual attention that you want. You're sexualised when you're getting sexual attention that you don't want. It's likely that because many men aren't sexualized or feel sexy themselves that they don't notice it. Unless it means 'getting sexual attention you don't want'. Yes, the fact that this is alien to men makes it hard for them to …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 06:21 AM
1

Why would anybody waste their time with somebody they feel nothing for? I think it might be the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 07:53 PM
3

I didn't feel that big SPARK Please keep in mind that this might also be a diplomatic face saving way of saying 'oh HELL no' that particularly women give off since rejecting a relatively unknown person comes with a non-zero chance that they will take it badly. So being honest about the reasons why you are rejecting someone oftens isn't in your best interests, and if the truth you are sharing isn't one they want to hear then there may be negative consequences for you. It only takes one or two 'bl…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 07:51 PM
6

I think using 'privilege' as an excuse to put people down or withhold empathy is terrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:36 AM
7

An example is when someone says something like 'men are the worst'. If someone was to unironically say 'women are the worst' that would be a clear cut case of misogyny, and bigotry. It's a form of micro aggression that in and of itself is nothing but compounds into something more than nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 07:21 PM
2

Right, and I know that I have privilege in certain contexts and even some ways I'm not aware of. But when people justify attitudes that would clearly be bigotry when applied to another group but handwave it away as 'we can't be bigoted towards you' as if there's 'justified bigotry' or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:38 PM
10

Isn't finding a group of people that have had the same shared experience as you part of 'seeking help'? Is coming to manosphere places really helpful in any way? I don't regard myself as in any way being redpilled, but I have had an epiphany of sorts over the last several years: there is inequality and suffering that negatively affects men and mainstream feminism is either willfully blind to it or actively perpetuating it. Please note that this is not in any way discounting or ignoring the inequ…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:22 PM
2

Just anecdotally, based on the last woman I broke up with, It's because they have emotional baggage which isn't a dealbreaker initially but becomes so the longer the relationship goes on. So they have LOTS of short term relationship experience but basically sabotage themselves when they get a good partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 06:06 PM
–

A desperate version sucks as a partner because they aren't the best version of themselves, and if you magically put the time and effort into helping them be the best version of themselves, they will stop being desperate and quite possibly, decide they don't need you any more either. So it would be a pitiful and unfulfilling relationship that's only stable while they are unstable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 05:31 PM
1

To OP based strictly on the title: to some people you're the shitty consolation prize.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 11:20 PM
4

Why don’t men increase their standards and not settle? Some of us do. At least reduce the amount of thirsty men. That really means nothing as long as other thirsty men continue to set the bar where they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 08:05 PM
2

I think that male loneliness and suicide aren't CAUSED by women, they are caused by societal gender roles that make men emotional cripples. Obviously women play a role in reinforcing societal gender roles, but they are in no way solely responsible, it's something that men do too. It’s funny because if boys were doing better in school these same men would say it’s because boys are smarter and more capable and that girls are too emotional to excel academically So back around 1970 or so, boys DID p…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 08:27 PM
–

So no it wasn't oppression Can you please indulge me with a three minute thought experiment? Just sit for those three minutes and imagine that you personally are not allowed to have a bank account. How is your life affected? Do you have a job? How will you get paid? How will you pay for things, or sign up for utilities, or pay a lease for accommodation? It's quite hard to adult without one. Now, do you REALLY think that someone who can't have a bank account isn't oppressed?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 10:29 AM
–

There is a lot of hate on men and especially white men. Nah. There's a bit of hate for white men in certain echo chambers, but there's other echo chambers that are pretty hateful towards other groups. It's not the oppression olympics.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 10:22 AM
–

Treating all men like they are the 1% is way off base.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 10:20 AM
–

Male abuse victims AREN'T on the rise. There's just increasing societal awareness that it's actually a thing that is real so there's the beginnings of police et al taking it seriously. It's similar to rape. I don't think there is more rape now than in the 1970s, but there are more rape cases/statistics because now victims are more likely to come forward and police are more likely to take them seriously. Women are abusive and hypocritical I think that's true of both men and women. and treat us as…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 10:16 AM
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This whole system was set up for the benefit of men Nah, speaking as someone whose marriage broke down last year, 'the system' is set up to provide stability for young kids and their carers.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 10:13 AM
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There’s a rise in racism, antisemtism (even before Israel was in the news again), homophobia, most crimes, poverty etc in a lot of the western world. Is there really? I think there's a decline in all of those things. And you can tell because where there are instances of them, it's more and more widely accepted that those things aren't ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 10:07 AM
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second women weren't ever oppressed So when women weren't allowed to open bank accounts without the approval of a male relative that wasn't oppression?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 10:05 AM
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Its wrong to say that all of them are saying that all of the time. But some of them are saying it some of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 10:03 AM
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I would put myself in that camp. Over the last few years I have become increasingly aware of the issues that men face and how there's a certain school of thought where the subtext is a mishmash of 'men are predators, men are toxic, the have privilege so they deserve no empathy, and the inequality they face is imaginary'. Now, I think that the 'manosphere' is toxic and wrong about the causes and solutions it is peddling. But that doesn't change the fact that men still have issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 10:01 AM
3

"Porn-sick" has no basis in reality I read 'porn sick' as 'doesn't engage in foreplay'. Whereas to me, foreplay IS sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 10:40 PM
1

Women just have a higher body fat percentage. If you think 20% on a man is equivalent to 28% on a woman, then I think that most men like their equivalent woman and vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 10:38 PM
1

I think that watching porn is like eating fast food. Some here and there basically doesn't matter. But if ALL you are consuming is porn that changes you and shapes your appetite towards just appreciating porn-sex and preferring it over real sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 05:08 AM
1

Maybe attractiveness in men is simply rarer. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think there's some truth to the idea that more women are in the middle of the kinsey scale (that is, they are bisexual and like both men and women) and thus there are just more people out there that are attracted to women than there are people out there that are attracted to men. Maybe most men, a feature almost of being a man, means you’re probably just not attractive. You don't need to be attractive to everyon…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 08:33 PM
1

Dating is like being thirsty. Men are in the desert. Women are in a swamp. That's a very interesting metaphor.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 08:41 PM
2

If all you want is interaction and attention, then men clearly have it harder in dating. If what you want is to avoid harassment and death/rape threats, then women clearly have it harder. who do you think has it harder on average For the average man and the average woman (which is NOT the same thing as 'who has it harder on average' which will include the effects of the outliers) I think that probably women have a slightly more positive experience in the sense that everyone is lonely and ignored…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 08:40 PM
8

I think it's cynical rather than disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 08:40 PM
2

That's true for men too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 08:38 PM
1

Counterpoint: Thinking that looks are the only thing that matter corrodes your personality and your soul.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 08:07 PM
1

Find people, men and women both, that you have a common interest with. The ones you like you are friends with. What's so hard about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 07:41 PM
34

There are people who want to buy what she is selling. Finally, if she was in your friends group, what advice would you give her to be more competitive in the dating market? Her goal is making money, not finding a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 01:09 AM
1

That social media bubbles and the narratives they construct are harmful and usually wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 10:26 PM
3

Speaking as someone who isn't desperate for sex and a relationship with a woman, and who also doesn't ask women out, and who also feels that men have other issues (like the empathy gap, higher suicide rates, higher mortality) I have some feedback on your hypothesis's Many men want to complain. Maybe feeling like a victim has its own satisfaction, same as some activists love to do. Women also love to complain but about other things. I agree with this and am sure that it's at least some component …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 08:18 PM
1

yet still more of them are in relationships than men. How does that work mathematically, assuming we're talking about heterosexual relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 07:59 PM
0

I get that tinder is a sausage fest The obvious answer is to seek out activities that have a gender ratio that is much more favourable. Maybe take dance lessons? The conclusion would only be that women really are fucking a minority of men Nah, this is a very wrong conclusion. An alternative conclusion (that I happen to think is correct) is that a roughly equal number of women are also single/sexless but just aren't loudly proclaiming to the world about how angry that makes them. They are taking …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 07:57 PM
3

I guess I was just in one.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 06:05 AM
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Her salary is $48k, but that's not US dollars. Child support should be to compensate the primary caregiver No child support is to support the child. If there's too great a disparity in household income, that disadvantages them with the parent who can't afford to buy them shoes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 10:08 AM
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About 40% of what I earn.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 08:19 AM
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Well yes, she would be paying a token amount. I simplified that out of the example to keep the example understandable. If I have full custody she would be paying me about $250/month.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 08:04 AM
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Because there's an income disparity? Let's say if she has full custody I would owe $2000/month. And if I have full custody nobody owes anything. Then the logical thing is that I would owe $1000/month if we had 50/50 custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 08:00 AM
7

Couldn't agree more. Separated from my ex last year. 50/50 asset division. 50/50 custody. Child Support based on income differential (about $1K /mo for me). No alimony. That said, if your ex is prepared to lie and slander you with regards to being physically abusive, I don't know what recourse you have. I feel like it's a 'guilty until proven innocent' situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 08:44 PM
1

Totally agree. That's a part of why single people aren't as happy, I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 07:34 PM
1

I've also seen studies that claim that single women are happier. Could you please cite some, other than the one specifically debunked by OP? And it's universally agreed that unmarried women have longer life expectancies. No, women without children have longer life expectancies. Childbirth shortens your lifespan. I think the claim should be that women CAN (and not WILL) be happier married than if they are single. But that's only if they are with the right man. And many men fall short in that rega…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 01:35 AM
2

That's a mindset of men vs women where only one side can win, and everything that happens for one side is at the expense of the other side.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 10:28 PM
3

I think when you're young you think you can do anything. It's only as you get older and you accumulate baggage that you realise that not everything that was possible is possible. Regarding a compromise, I don't know what could have been done. My wife was struggling and with the benefit of hindsight had ppd, and had ALWAYS been a low energy person. I was essentially the full time worker bee and half of the home bee as well (i.e. I was the full time parent while I was at home). We didn't have enou…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 08:15 PM
12

I’m not blaming you in any way but why didn’t you also make time for your friends or spend time making new ones? Because my wife was struggling with kids at home. I felt I needed to be the best husband and dad I could be. I distinctly remember when I stopped my last evening out because that one night a week was too much for my wife. I didn't realise at the time what that would do in terms of contracting my relationships. I understand that there’s so little time in the day but why was not having …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 08:01 PM
2

/s ?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:56 PM
3

No, we need to blame women who are being shitty, not just put it all on men. WTF? This post completely undermines the excellent work of your previous post. This is a societal and systemic issue. Men are part of the problem. Women are part of the problem. Everyone needs to fix this. This isn't a 'women are shitty' problem. That oversimplifies the issue and demonises women. It's toxic. You undermine everything you have said if this is your conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:54 PM
1

Why is it not a man’s fault for not maintaining good relationships with their kids? Because a man who's not a good provider is a failure as a father, in a way that a women who's not a good provider ISN'T a failure as a mother. There are different gendered expectations placed on men and women, and one of those expectations is that men invest significantly in their career, which of necessity means they spend less time with their children. This isn't rocket science.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:52 PM
1

And then you get men whose entire loneliness issue boils down to not being able to get laid, they view affection, love, and support as acceptable and good only when it's given to them by a woman who is sleeping with them. ''Lonely'' is just another way to say ''horny''. I agree with this, and put that down to those guys being essentially young horny incels that are under 25. Hormones are a hell of a drug. But it's not the most important thing even to young people (even if they might THINK it is)…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:46 PM
4

Isn't raising awareness about male loneliness promoting mens interests? This very conversation?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:39 PM
6

Please don't conflate 'men' with the 1%.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:38 PM
7

Unfortunately yes this is all about dating. Having a support group is secondary and more of a bonus than anything. Maybe for the incels on here. But my perspective is that that support network is ENORMOUSLY important. I think that support network explains most of the difference in suicide rates between men and women. The men in relationships aren’t the ones bringing up this issue of loneliness. The loneliest time of my life was in my marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:35 PM
6

Finding a relationship has always been the ultimate goal. For me (having come out the other side of a marriage) I see it differently. First and foremost, you have to have interests and hobbies and actually like yourself. Then if you find a compatible person who you are into that is also into you, that's a relationship you can slot into your life. I think the difference is whether you want to start a family, because that's a 'hobby' that is pretty all consuming.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:34 PM
8

Yes. I was married and realised one day that I was very lonely and had no friends. It's actually harder to make friends in a relationship, because there are so many other demands on your time and relationships can only form when you intentionally make time for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:31 PM
22

I had friends. Then I got married and had kids. All of my time was spent on them and my social circle dwindled to nothing (at the direct request of my wife). It was a shock to me to wake up one day and realise that I had NO friends, my marriage was going downhill, all my time was spent on the family, yet my stbx was fiercely defending the time she had carved out to spend with her friends and maintain her relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:30 PM
23

"We understand you struggle but we are still going to strive for the best and accomplish more than you men as women" If you gender flip that sentence, do you think that women would perceive the men that said it as being misogynistic? Or would women like it?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:27 PM
1

I think a good way to look at this problem is by considering 1970, when boys were outperforming girls in education at everything. The prevailing wisdom at the time was that girls just aren't very smart and should focus on their 'core business', i.e. being a wife and mother. Now, a girl underachieving at school is a combination of her abilities and the systemic forces in play around her. To paraphrase your words, 'what do you expect men to do? The only ones who can do something about it are women…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:25 PM
–

To each according to their need. From each according to the ability.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 09:08 PM
5

Comparison is the thief of joy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 07:40 PM
6

Yeah. My ex had been a low energy low functioning person for more than a decade, and I just thought 'welp, this is my life now'. Youngest goes to school, she starts working more wanting to go out with friends, suddenly lots more energy and enthusiasm. Which I thought was GREAT. But ALL of it on interests for her, nothing for us or for the family. It also turns out that my money was our money and her money was her money.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 07:45 AM
3

But the issue is, that personality ISN'T important. This is just patently false. Having compatible senses of humour, similar values systems, and some overlapping interests should be incredibly important to both men and women in vetting potential partners. People who do no vetting deserve the partner they get (i.e. a low quality one who will use them).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 03:21 AM
25

There's a really good video that I think explains it: https://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_the_paradox_of_choice Back in the day when everyone lived in small villages, you married bob from down the road because he was the best of two choices. He wasn't perfect but you made do with what you had. Nowadays you have a thousand potential choices, and your life partner expectations and standards are WAY higher. I mean, this guy is good but your real life partner should be GREAT!. So if you end up …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 07:01 PM
1

"Red Pill statistics", "mens struggles" Men do have legitimate struggles that don't get enough attention, but subjective hardships with regards to online dating doesn't even crack the top 100 for me. For someone to focus on that says to me that their priorities are completely out of whack.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 10:04 PM
1

Dancing and Volunteering seem like great hobbies that you can be adjacent to women at.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 11:43 PM
1

What hobbies do you have? In what ways do you plan to organically meet women and form friendships or relationships with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 10:36 PM
1

You do also have to leave your living room. I think the focus should be on living your best life with enriching hobbies and experiences and being happy with that. If a relationship comes alone, that's the cherry on top. Nobody should need a SO to feel fulfilled.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 09:22 PM
1

But the explained differencr is because men take more risk snd men develop slightly slower. Men take more risks at the same age. But a 25 year old woman is a greater risk than a 30 year old man.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 10:15 PM
2

Dating isn't about being appealing to EVERY person. It's about being appealing to ONE person who also appeals to you. If there are ten women who respectively rate you 2, 3, 4, 4, 6, 6, 7, 8. And the 8 likes you and you like her back, is your score 5 or 8? Because to me that's an 8. Who cares what a group of people you're NOT is a relationship with think?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 07:08 PM
1

Nah, a 23 year old male pays less for insurance than a 21 year old female. You post implies that all women pay less for insurance than all men, and that's just flat out wrong. 25 year olds of either gender pay more for car insurance than 30 year olds of either gender. So while men pay higher rates than women at the same age, age is an even more significant factor than gender in affecting price.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 06:20 PM
1

Eh, I think it's one of the perils of the online social media bubble age that we live in that it's incredibly easy to get trapped in self-reinforcing echo chambers that may or may not be factually based. There's so many of them out there (not just RP).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 11:03 PM
2

he claims that his experience and attitude is common among men Nobody wants to think that they are an outlier, particularly if it's a negative. Misery loves company. Why are you signal boosting such rubbish?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 09:57 PM
3

What person would be dumb enough to believe that? There are elements in that post that contain hints of truth. But the conclusion is just wildly off the rails.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 09:55 PM
0

You will be lied about everything. This is just obviously false. As are many other points in the post. I also think that women provide more emotional support than men do, and that isn't based on sexual satisfaction. Women are as reasonable as men (I guess it depends on how reasonable you think that is). On the whole there's elements of truth in the OP, but it leads to an incredibly misleading conclusion and falsehood about the nature of women in general. And the importance of sex in general. Whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 09:54 PM
4

As people go through like they accumulate wisdom, and also pick up baggage (damage). The goal when getting advice from someone is to try to glean the wisdom while discarding the baggage.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 07:40 PM
7

That's probably the same reason why car insurance levy costs drop for both men and women after 25. For sexual market value reasons. Not at all because the brain finishes developing and people become much better at hazard assessment and more responsible after that age. That couldn't be the reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:25 PM
1

I'm not a boomer, but that's been my lived experience. Is everyone over 29 a boomer now? You do have to be in the headspace to see opportunities when they arise or people show interest though (rather than have some contrived engagement plan). It's competitive now. Every women has access to a vast pool of eligible bachelors should they want it. I dunno, it seems like every single woman comic I've seen recently has a version of a joke that's something like 'have you SEEN the men in our dating pool…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:20 PM
0

I blame whoever is a parent who is shit at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 08:05 PM
1

Do you think men get harassed more than women online? Absolutely not. I think that men get a lot of abuse online, but women get all of that too and on top of that, also get an extra helping of gendered abuse and threats that men dodge. p.s. getting spam isn't harassment or abuse either.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:49 PM
3

If your criteria for the scenario is just "bigger" then why use gay men? Because in this contrived scenario the aggressor also wants to have sex with the 'target'. Since the aggressor and target are both men, it's natural to make the aggressor gay in this scenario. If you want, just change the context to being you get sent to jail, and while you are there 'bubba' decides he wants you to be his girlfriend. Bubba doesn't have to be gay. Just someone who is going to fuck you and has a significant p…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 08:25 PM
3

Then why do they engage in it? You can hope optimistically for something and also have that thing not pan out in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 08:23 PM
2

It's not equivalent but it is about as close an approximation as you are gonna get.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 08:21 PM
1

Of course. Getting your partner off is work, but it's work you are usually happy to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 08:12 PM
1

Everyone has a 'jerk brain' that lies to them and tells them that they are better than they really are, and that their problems are caused by other people. Both men and women have this. So to compensate, both men and women should feel that they are both doing 90% of the work, and that averages out at 50-50.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 11:21 PM
–

Would you be complaining ad loudly if it was 8% gap the other way? The gap between boys and girls now is the same size it was when boys were ahead of girls in the 70s.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 06:42 PM
1

I just don’t get it Because of gender stereotypes about what each gender provides. Men are providers, bringing income and stability. As a general rule men get more financially well off the older they are. Women are nurturers, and have a fertility window. So as a general rule women's fertility window gets smaller the older they are. I don't really get age gaps either, but really the only people that need to get it are the people involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 02:25 AM
3

another piece of the puzzle is boys leaving school for trades education or employment. That's always been the case though, even when schools were biased towards boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 02:20 AM
8

Where I disagree is that boys as a whole are disadvantaged. It's what the stats say. The averages. In one example I can give boys year 9 writing at 81.6 percent compared to 90.8 percent of girls that means that 10% of girls and 20% of boys not meeting the standard benchmarks. Right, and when you dig into the numbers further and there's essentially two populations, where the average boy score is 8% lower than the average girl score your don't think that's a problem? We need to focus on those boys…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 01:41 AM
7

I’m mainly talking about kids with behavioural issues I agree with you on that front. I think that the most disruptive people in classrooms tend to be boys. The issue for me is that boys as a whole are affected.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 01:20 AM
4

I agree with all of that. I still think there is a specific bias against boys, but the reality is that in the inadequate system you describe and attempt to improve things for boys would come at the expense of girls. And that cannot be stomached.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 01:19 AM
5

I think it's possible for there to be systemic causes for both.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 12:59 AM
24

But at some point boys and parents of boys need to start to Take responsibility and pay attention and actually care about school. Um, back in the 70s when boys outperformed girls at everything, how fair would you think it is to say 'at some point girls and parents of girls need to start to Take responsibility and pay attention and actually care about school" Because that's effectively what you have just said about boys. The reality is that there are systemic barriers towards boys succeeding in s…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 12:57 AM
1

Why not just wear platforms? My biggest gripe is photos that are more than 15 years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 09:13 PM
4

I think everyone has dimensions that matter more to them than to other people. And everybody is above average in some ways, and below average in other ways. Find the people who are into the things that you are above average at.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:26 PM
3

Not all methods are shit tests. The most effective indicators men need to look out for are merely observational. Women don't like this either, but they never know so it's irrelevant. Within the context of this thread, OPs method is a shit test. I can't interact with something this thin If you have constructed an alternative reality that is not based in reality, there's no way I can meaningfully interact with that either.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 08:04 PM
3

men will resort to a variety of measures to tell the two apart, Shit testing is a case of 'play stupid games, win stupid prizes'. the promiscuity movement I think that this is a phantom.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 07:46 PM
3

You missed the point. You don't like his strategy? Fair enough. To me, the point is that hsi strategy is self-defeating.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 02:59 AM
3

As a man, no I don't. The whole "no that's a yes" type stuff is complete bullshit. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. This is just another type of shit test. One other issue with this method is that I give the women who I am actually searching for a bad impression of myself, that I am some kind of fuck boy, which couldn't be further from the truth. Don't deceive people then?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 02:56 AM
2

Attention is like salt. If you are starved of salt, you CRAVE it. But too much salt gets old really quickly. I think all of your 'if a' examples are incorrect, plus there's the asymmetry of 'this strange man could be physically violent' that men just don't feel when women are being inappropriate with them in public. why do women feel so threated and uncomfortable Because men are much more capable of being threatening. This isn't rocket science.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:00 PM
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Men do appreciate women's intelligence, but it is not required for dating, so that is why they don't care if she has a college degree. Different people like different things. I think smart, kind are the two MOST important qualities I am looking for in a woman. The current woman I am dating is VERY smart and can I say, dating her I think I appreciate intelligence more than I thought I did. So this thread is definitely NOT true for me. Men are the ones expected to provide stuff to a relationship S…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 09:54 PM
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I don't feel bad. Just that qualifier if anything made me view their profiles less favourably than if they had said nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 09:48 PM
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People are allowed to have the preferences they have. But speaking as a man who is over 6 feet tall, when I saw 'looking for a TALL man' in someone's profile, it made me feel a bit ick. Like I wasn't a person?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 09:00 PM
1

The thing is though, she's not insane. She's a normal person, with normal ideas, and some of them are radfem ideas. Radfem ideas are by and large normalised in society.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 04:30 AM
1

I remember speaking to a woman friend (of my wife) and lamenting that I basically didn't have any friends and that that was something I wanted to work on. She said I needed to 'check my privilege'. So yes, there are some people who think that men can't ever have problems or suffer from inequality because 'patriarchy' and 'male privilege' trumps everything and justifies being low key hostile to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 12:45 AM
1

Do you think that if people waited until marriage to have sex, it would be better? I know a couple who did everything 'right'. Both virgins at marriage, didn't live together before then. What they found out once they got married was that they weren't a good fit and the marriage quickly became abusive. Within 6 months she left him. So I do recommend finding out how compatible you are physically before getting married. Do you think that if people waited until marriage to have sex, it would be bett…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 02:35 AM
3

There's nothing wrong with GTOW. Women already do to a large extent. Just skip being angry and resentful towards women. That shit corrodes your soul.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 06:42 PM
2

Yes, I agree. They muddy the waters rather than clarify things.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/08/23 10:19 AM
0

Well, it's true. It's just that 'toxic masculinity' and 'patriarchy' and poor terms to describe toxic gender stereotypes.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/08/23 11:46 PM
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No my reply was intentional. My point is that everybody is some kind of weirdo, work out what kind of weirdo you are, get comfortable in your own skin and your hobbies so that you actually like your life, and you will be much more appealing to the type of woman who is into the type of weirdo that you are. I did online dating briefly last year. I found it excruciating and the mindset it cultivates in the users is not helpful. It doesn't matter if 99% of women would reject you. It only matters if …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 09:58 PM
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That's totally fine. That's exactly the same way most women feel about the idea of attending the world finals of some fighting computer game to trawl for a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 09:55 PM
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For sure. The hobby I took up recently was bridge, and in my 40s I'm definitely a baby there. Was approached by a woman who is now my girlfriend though.....
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 09:49 PM
4

I don't think it's toxic femininity. More toxic gender stereotypes. I do think that calling it 'toxic masculinity' is a really bad and misleading name, which is being strongly pushed by the misandrists in the womens movement.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/08/23 09:47 PM
2

I think that part of the problem is that 'toxic masculinity' is used as a way of essentially victim blaming men. I think the formative experiences you are describing ARE toxic, and have also shaped you. But I think it's more helpful to look at those toxic experiences as a form of ptsd that you now have. You have mindsets and behaviours about violence that are harmful, but it's going to be a lot of work to unpick that and heal from the damage you suffered when you were younger. I just hear "I'm t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/08/23 09:46 PM
5

You couldn't get a man interested in you but you have a boyfriend? Here's the thing. You don't have to appeal to MOST women. You just have to appeal to one woman, who you also find appealing. I'm not interested in most women wanting me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 08:40 PM
8

And what hobby is that where there are guys who have hundreds of girls to choose from? Book clubs, knitting circles, jewelry making, dancing, cosmetics, fashion, cosplay etc etc. It shouldn't be surprising that there are woman centric hobbies.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 08:39 PM
2

Society may perpetuate the notion that men expressing their emotions or asserting their needs are somehow "toxic," but that couldn't be further from the truth. My take on this is that potential behaviours that might be labelled 'toxic' are ones involving being jealous or controlling. Speaking personally, that's not really how I am at all so I don't anticipate being labelled that way. Boundaries I enforce: getting enough sleep, being spoken to respectfully, maintaining friendships and social grou…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:04 AM
2

People lie more in reality because they have more to lose. Or, people lie less in reality because it's easier to expose the discrepancy between what they say and real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 11:54 PM
2

But how is your personal life less skewed than social media, you've selected your friends and hobbies from your preferences and family members have genes that make them likely to share political positions. People lie on social media. They image craft or project what they would LIKE to be true, not what is actually true. I think the best argument for this statement is that the internet is showing you all this negativity and its bad for you. No, it's that the internet is full of echo chambers that…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 11:36 PM
1

I think 'the wall' is just a rubbish narrative intending to make use of the facts of womens relatively narrower fertility window (i.e. a women in her 30s that wants kids needs to start being very intentional about that) and mens increasing financial security over time. There's really not much more to it than that. Both men and women age as they get older.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 10:02 PM
3

I think that having a broader tax base is a great idea, and am in favour of a land value tax (which rates kinda sorta already are).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/07/23 09:25 PM
2

women got way more benefit of those relationship than men even in those times I have a bunch of stories in my family tree of a man who ran through a bunch of women in succession because they all died in childbirth. Women's higher risks were pregnancy, but that is not men's fault. And men dying in wars is womens fault?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 08:41 PM
5

can the same be said in reverse? There's the honey badgers, and there's a handful of youtubing women who are essentially advocates for men like the Dadvocate. But yes, not many. The reasons why women do not reciprocate the care men give them is something I am yet to understand. Society doesn't tell them that they should care for mens needs. In fact, it almost tells them they are being oppressed by caring for mens needs because they aren't putting themselves first.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/07/23 08:34 AM
8

I totally agree with you OP. However, the more I researched mens issues the more aware I became that some of those issues feminism wasn't just indifferent to, it was actively perpetuating. And once you see that you can't unsee it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/07/23 03:39 AM
6

men’s list: I'm pretty sure 'must be into me' is at the top of my list of requirements.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 09:02 PM
1

how a man should be masculine How should a man be masculine?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 12:52 AM
1

I don't think anybody should be forced into marriages they don't want.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 12:41 AM
2

Does this mean women’s standards are lower when they are older? My take on it is that older women are more likely to know what they want and go after it, and also have spent longer breaking down the social conditioning that tells them to be passive and wait to be approached.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 08:36 PM
1

There are however a large percentage of women who don't think of themselves as cheaters, they want to be loyal, but if they aren't happy in their relationship instead of considering it their responsibility to fix that, they are likely to look for things from other guys and might end up cheating. Even if it's not a habit they do serially, once will ruin a relationship. I think that this is kind of broadly true, but my interpretation of the facts (backed by by my n=1 experience) is more that when …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 05:21 AM
2

A woman proves herself by proving her loyalty and unwavering support. Why is this the woman's response? Shouldn't this be something both men and women do?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 11:55 PM
1

A big part of this risk is sexual violence, but I have to wonder: if all sexual violence, or even borderline behavior that's not technically illegal, or even legal-but-still-creepy behavior was inexplicably stopped, what would we do? This is an interesting point to me because I think that male sexuality is demonised quite a lot in society, but that if instead men 'acted like women' that would be a problem too, in the sense that women WANT to feel desired by their men, and the way women express d…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 03:02 AM
1

Like men are actually attracted to womens bodies, but women arent aroused by men. Not physically. Something I have seen previously is the idea of 'reactive desire'. I think that womens sexuality and arousal makes a lot more sense if viewed through that prism. So what exactly are women getting out of this? Like seriously. Why have random hook ups? why have dating accounts for finding men? Why? Why not just give up on men? Because women like men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 11:17 PM
10

Yeah I get that's what they are selling, just like womens magazines are trying to make women insecure about their bodies in order to market beauty and weight loss products to them. Both industries seem pretty toxic to me. That doesn't mean they are right.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 10:27 PM
15

The people producing those shows are curating what people appear on them. So how representative are these demands that the women have on these shows compared to the general population of women? I think a better question is, what do you think is the intended effect of the show by broadcasting those women? What narrative are they intending to project?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 10:15 PM
1

While they are obviously very physically attractive and easy on the eye, I imagine that they are probably also a little shallow/narcissistic/insecure. have an ego about them because they know they are hot I think that that ego is generally protective armour to hide how insecure they are. Would you date them or do you consider them not gf material? To me it's a mild indicator of incompatibility because I'm not as obsessed with looks, which also then invites them to feel they aren't compatible wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 08:46 PM
5

That sounds more like a traumatic anecdote than an average experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 12:28 AM
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Paternalistic "women are wonderful and and always the victim" nonsense. Women aren't always the victim. But I think that women who are trafficked are victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 10:02 AM
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That's just rubbish. When it's illegal it's incredibly dangerous work because if they are raped, assaulted or abused the law often isn't on their side. Sometimes the police are even their abusers.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 09:58 AM
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Can somebody explain to me how this is different from decriminalizing the selling of drugs by those who make money from it, but still prosecuting buyers / addicts who pay for them? The difference is that humans are trafficked for sex. So they are the victims, and busting them for prostitution is essentially revictimising them twice. With regards to drugs, the victims are the addicts. So busting the customers is getting them twice. I agree in both cases that it's the pimps and dealers you really …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 09:56 AM
5

Doug Christie was a laughing stock in the NBA because he WAS faithful to his wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 02:56 AM
2

Alimony isn't a thing where I live.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 10:53 PM
2

But first, i have to make myself as physically attractive as possible. It's not an either or. You can work on that as the same time as you work on building hobbies and friend groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 01:09 AM
2

Eh, as a ND man who was married for 20 years to a NT woman, it's all swings and roundabouts there. What do you think are geeky hobbies that will have lots of ND women at them? They might be good hobbies for you to take up.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 12:28 AM
1

there really is no other way of thinking. Why not change the focus towards having a social support network of friends? Preferably one that involves you meeting in real life, and being mixed gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 10:30 PM
1

Being attractive but I think that there are a lot of things that are far more important qualities in a partner than looks. Like isnt it so stupid and misleading when people tell autistic folks advice like "be nice' and "be yourself", when it is, by common sense, very poor and unrealistic advice due to the stigma against the general unmasked autistic traits in society such as shyness, poor social skills, etc? No, it's still good advice. People are afraid that they are weirdos, but it's true, they…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 10:24 PM
2

This post reads like classic sea lioning. And before you say anything, I know that's a word that was found nowhere in your original comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 11:37 PM
2

Can you tell me where? You have to be kidding me. Anything that requires strength, women are disadvantaged. For the longest time, most jobs had a physical element and there's STILL the expectation that 'real jobs' are predominantly mens. Domestic labour and child rearing are by default assumed to be the responsibility of women. So much so that that expectation bleeds over into womens workplace treatment - why would a company invest in training and promoting a young woman if she's probably going …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 11:36 PM
2

Too bad for them the internet isn’t a real place Sadly, I think it kinda is? People can have just as real and meaningful relationships with people online as they do in meatspace.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 11:31 PM
1

The idea that women are routinely divorcing for “cash and prizes” riding off into the sunset with ex hubby’s hard earned wealth, while popular has been repeatedly shown to be false. I think that EVERYONE gets fucked financially in a divorce. Actual studies on the topic show that women fair worse financially after divorce and getting primary custody of the kids actually increases risk of poverty for them, (duh because the kids need caretakers and average child support payments barely scratch the …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 10:15 PM
1

I think being needy and desperate isn't attractive. So the germ of the idea in this post I think is kinda right - if you are fully prepared not to NEED the date to work, you will come across as more confident and attractive. The real secret is to love yourself and think that you have value - and if someone else isn't into you, that's their loss. Why isn’t he holding out for better? Does he think I’m the best he can…..ew And I agree that this thought weasel of anxiety is a crippler for relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 09:47 PM
1

They’re on instagram, they’re on tik tok This is a terribly proxy for average people. Even the people on those sites don't live the lives they are curating for their followers.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 05:32 AM
1

I can focus on things that make me happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 05:29 AM
1

OP, if you actually believe the thread title, you should take a break from online dating. The only winning move is not to play.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:09 AM
0

Women see women being a housewife as oppression men see it as a privilege. Nah. I think when women weren't allowed to be anything else, it was oppressive, but now having a partner who earns enough to afford one parent to be a stay at home parent is absolutely a privilege. Many men would love to switch genders with women This is something that my brother did do, and I would have loved to be the stay at home parent. But my partner didn't have a good enough job/career to be the primary earner, so i…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 03:24 AM
2

Your study is over a decade old and this is only for how emotional self-regulation impacts German and mathematic achievements. Well, yes. It's explaining part of the bias against boys in schools. They are punished essentially for being little boys. That wasn't a one-off article. Here's one from 2022, it's essentially an established fact that girls now outperform boys at highschool and they outnumber boys at universities.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:52 PM
3

Those studies show moving goalposts. I don't disagree that the top levels of university life are still dominated by men heavily. It would be ludicrous to suggest that women don't suffer from inequality in any area of society any more. But in terms of whether high schools are biased against boys or girls, studies show that's it's swung the other way and the education gap is now LARGER in favour of girls than it was for boys in the 1970s.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:31 PM
4

Haha, imagine thinking the academic and scientific world is bais AGAINST men. It all depends on how you look at it. The unbiased and inarguable gap in achievement between girls and boys in the 70s was rightly decried as something we should do something about. The systemic barriers that girls faced have been dismantled and things aiding girls put in place. We're now at a point where the gap between boys and girls is LARGER than it was in 1970, just in favour of girls. Can you hear that outcry aga…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 09:58 PM
2

Framing it in a way that some preferences are more valid is manipulative Is it? What if my preference is that you shower me with money while I punch you in the face? I guess that's just as valid as your preference that I am polite. Child rearing compatibility could be the MOST important thing if you haven't had kids yet but want some, but if you are going to be child free it doesn't register. I think having compatible preferences is a long way towards couple compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:48 AM
5

resentment towards men I feel so lucky the red pill men on here don't feel resentment towards women. I think we really dodged a bullet there.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:41 AM
6

Could you please explain more? I would love to hear what my superficial preferences are.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 05:31 AM
13

What's there to 'get'? If you want to have children, then obviously your partner needs to be willing and able to get on board with that or you aren't a good match. Your response isn't the 'gotcha' you seem to think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 05:17 AM
7

I didn't say you were. Blaming women for every problem seems to be a cottage industry in MRA spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 12:58 AM
7

I wouldn't disagree with that. It seems unfair to blame women for capitalism though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 12:36 AM
1

Not everyone acquires baggage as they get older, though. Many are content in healthy long term relationships. I dunno, I think that it's just part of getting older as a generalisation. Like my back. When I was 18 I never gave ti a thought. But much of the exercise I do nowadays is about having a strong back and reducing pain. Similarly, I think it's very possible that somebody never suffers from any 'emotional injury', but in general as people go through life they have problems and build up bagg…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 11:03 PM
16

I think that men and women are both allowed to have preferences. Even if the things men want that you list are all superficial physical characteristics. As a man, those things are nowhere near the top of the list of what I want in a partner. But women for the longest time have been socialised into being passive and having no agency of their own. So I wouldn't characterise that as 'uplifting womens sexuality' so much as 'empowering women'. Regarding the money thing, I think that's at least partia…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 09:25 PM
5

The reason OP's story is part of redpill ideology is because it attempts to explain when women don't want them - in this case being baggage or unresolved feelings from prior relationships And instead of reaching the glaringly obvious conclusion that everyone acquires baggage as they get older, it's simply a repeat of the 'sexual purity for women' bs as if that's the solution to the world's problems. It also contradicts online dating narratives (that shes not committing to you because she has too…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 07:53 PM
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The issue is that single moms are not held to similar standards of accountability. Um, the only way it would be valid to hold them to the same standard is if their were terrible parents who abandoned their children, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 05:10 AM
1

My perception is that Purple Pill men are receptive to a lot of Red Pill advice but don't like the extreme negativity and judgment of women. While I wouldn't regard myself as redpill at all, I do think that MRAs have some legitimate points to make around some of the inequalities that men face. And there are SOME flavours of feminism which are not only indifferent to that, but they appear to be the authors of it. For example, there are a lot of RP or RP-leaning guys who ask leading questions in p…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 02:43 AM
2

Just because something is easy to measure doesn't mean it's a good measure. I don't actually think that the bmi category arbitrarily labelled 'overweight' is bad for your health - I think it's very healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 05:58 PM
4

Counter argument: Karens are women who have been socialised to be agreeable and biddable their whole lives, and they are 'waking up' to what a crock of shit that is, and that their opinions are as valid as everyone elses. So they are triggered by people not respecting them, and overreact to otherwise normal situations because they want respect but aren't accustomed to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 11:23 PM
1

I’m at 20% BF but I’m well within my healthy weight range That's actually a really low BF% for a woman. For a man who weight trains, it's a fine non-competition level.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 10:53 PM
2

Interesting. My working hypothesis is that women have about 8% more body fat on average than men, but if your ranges are correct then it's more like 13%.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 08:58 PM
13

I think that weight and BMI are very poor proxy indicators for body fat %. And I don't think it's controversial to say that women generally have a higher body fat % (and less muscle mass), even if their BMIs are the same. Women don’t go out of their way to let them know that they’re fat and undesirable the way men do to fat women. Yeah I think going out of your way to let someone know that you don't like something about them is just repulsive behaviour that doesn't need to be shared. Keep it to …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 08:28 PM
1

Is there any hope of things improving? Have you heard of the man drought?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 12:21 AM
1

I think the problem with people talking about 'all women' and also using phrases like 'hypergamous' or whatever, is that it's all BS. Women aren't a monolithic org. Just like the 'all men' type bitching, up to and including stuff like 'toxic masculinity'. Both ideologies are tilting at straw men. I think the main problem with those men is the fact when you have that level of derision and vitriol for women… yeah, no shit they aren’t going to be into you. Yep. Even if the things you are hyperfocus…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 11:21 PM
3

I guess I'm talking about compatibility. I find all of this talk of 'levels' and 'quality' to be pretty sad. Like, I'm not on an instagram models 'level' looks wise but I also wouldn't WANT to be with someone who devoted so much of themselves to their appearance, it's more than a little narcissistic to me. So while I might not be a yes to her, she's also not a yes to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:58 PM
1

the discrepancy in dating success wouldn’t exist Isn't the discrepancy just the the value that both genders place on casual sex? i.e. low quality casual sex isn't defined by most women as 'success'.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:45 PM
3

I think he's just saying that he has no idea how to bridge the gap between the existence he has now and one in which he has a significant other. Basically unless he goes to anima/comic/cosplay conventions (and I'm guessing he doesn't), his life isn't going to take him near the women who he would be a good partner for.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:43 PM
6

I'm not the person you were responding to, but I think you can easily feel very alone even when you are with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:41 PM
2

yeah i do. If anything she was even more of a people pleaser then (and less of a self advocate).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 06:38 PM
2

At this point if she’s honest with herself she knows she can’t compete with younger women so if she wants any type of success in the dating market she’s going to either learn how to be a decent person This is such a BS ideology. Maybe women were by and large decent people all along? The same as men?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 08:51 AM
3

And the fact that it applies to no single people my age I know IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 07:23 AM
1

I suspect they don't apply to younger people very much either.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 07:04 AM
7

Here's how I see it. I think that men are socially conditioned to be emotionally stunted. So women want men who are emotionally healthy, and able to process emotions maturely, and give and receive emotional support. But for emotionally stunted men, learning to process emotions often starts with 'trauma dumping'. Which is a start (and better than being an emotional void), but it's a far cry from being a healthy result, and is basically the reason for the memes where women say 'be more emotional, …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 01:13 AM
1

She invited me to sleep in her bed with her. I'm going to assume that's her making the first move.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:36 AM
1

It's a REALLY new relationship, basically 1-2 months. Still in the NRE stage.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:33 AM
3

No, I think I said we are in our 40s. But in terms of 'looking for a relationship', I wasn't really. I was actively looking to immerse myself in my hobbies and build up my friend network. That's something I am still trying to do - particularly friend networks of other men. The relationship was kinda of a massive surprise. How are you doing? Your username is a little concerning.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:31 AM
1

Randomly at a hobby we are both into. I had been asked to be a last minute ring-in on her team (one of the other members got Covid) and while I wasn't directly playing with her as a partner we had results in common and basically had lunch together while commiserating on our results. At the end of it she asked if we could stay in touch and we have been. i assume you had to ask her out Nope. I'm basically this guy until exactly 2 minutes into the video. I did get a clue after that however :)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:10 AM
5

Personal experience, an overwhelming amount of anecdotal evidence plus I read it stated explicitly on a blog somewhere. Sorry, I don't keep a rolodex of sources for everything I read in my life. What is it you find incredible about what I am saying? I seems like common sense to me.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/06/23 12:07 AM
1

And shyness is not a masculine trait, so even shy girls aren't gonna think shy guys are attractive. I think the 'introverted nerdy engineer' is a trope for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 11:25 PM
1

Share your thoughts! I think that scales like that are dumb, because attraction is subjective. Unless you're trying out for 'sexiest person in the world' (which would justify either/both scales) all you are really looking for is someone you say yes to who says yes to you. Comparison is the thief of job, and these scales have comparison built into them. Don't use them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 11:06 PM
0

are you asserting that people who have previously been in a toxic relationship shouldn't get the chance to date again I think the default should be therapy before getting back on the horse for everyone with baggage.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 11:02 PM
1

So, this JUST happened with me. I explicitly asked for consent while progressing things on our first 'serious' date, and she mentioned that it killed the mood for her. But she also readily agreed that if her answer was ever going to be no she REALLY liked that I asked. And after getting a yes, I basically assumed that that question was already answered with a 'yes' going forwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:57 PM
1

When people say the things they are into, that's indicative of what spending time with them in a relationship will be like, and the sorts of conversations you will be having. I think women who aren't into going to the gym are being disingenuous by avoiding men for whom that's a big part of their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:54 PM
1

some guys will always have sex on 1st-2nd date, others struggle to make it before 4th. Don't the women have some agency in there? some guys will always have sex on 1st-2nd date I think it's more likely that some guys will LIE about always having sex on the first date to protect their image. Unless you're describing some sort of predator?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:51 PM
5

A source for gender stereotypes? Or about the fact that women can actually get value from discussing issues without resolution while men by and large do not?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/06/23 10:47 PM
3

Women in general like shy men FAR less than confident men. Women aren't an amorphous blob. You don't want to attract 'women'. You want to get a yes from one woman who is right for you. Sounds like you want a woman who is into shy guys. That's probably going to be a shy woman, so you're probably shit out of luck meeting them on dating apps. I think your best bet is to be adjacent to them in some hobby you both share so whatever happens between you can happen organically. Something like an anime o…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:12 PM
3

Well, you're wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:10 PM
21

I have no idea whether the gendered generalisations OP makes are valid for young people. But I can categorically state that it's basically complete rubbish for people in the 40+ group. My current relationship, she approached me initially, and while I would say we're definitely trying to maintain equality in our relationship, probably there's a slight asymmetry of effort on her side. a fit guy making 6 figs who is of average height is going to be much, much lower on the "dating value" realm to a …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:07 PM
7

Gender stereotypes. You know, how when (as a generalisation) women want to talk about their problems and feel heard and supported, while men want to talk about their problems and get to a solution. Part of it is differences in men and womens physiological responses. If you talk about some upsetting thing and don't come to a solution, men actually feel MORE anxious/distressed at the end of the conversation than at the beginning. While women actually DO feel better after talking about their proble…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/06/23 08:47 PM
–

Sure it is. It just comes with some downsides as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:14 AM
–

Eh, that's hardly a strong argument. That's like rebutting evolution by disproving aspects of Darwin's initial theory while ignoring all of the scholarship and how the theory has evolved since his time.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 06:46 PM
1

That isn't Red Pill advice at all. It's not red pill advice. It's a red pill narrative myth about the blue pill. It's one of their straw men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 12:28 AM
1

Working from home.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 10:16 PM
1

I think looking at a pattern of something increasing in value and assuming it will probably continue If you don't understand why that growth happens you are setting yourself up as a sucker. If human population continued to grow at the rate it has in the last 50 years, by the year 4000 every atom in the observable universe would be part of a human.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 10:15 PM
1

The greatest common denominator is almost certainly looks. I think it totally depends on how you are meeting people. If yo uare doing it online via apps, then yes I agree with you. If it's getting adjacent to someone doing an IRL activity then I think that personality becomes the predominant attribute people are assessed by.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 09:20 PM
1

My belief is, women have stricter body standards in what they seek in men, then men do in women. My belief is the opposite. I think that men have narrower preferences for body shapes, although what the fashion industry tells you men want is what gay men imagine heterosexual men want to see in a woman. And I think that women have much more varied body preferences in their partners. Most of the examples you cite are people attempting to subvert the fashion industry standards of 'look like a preado…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 09:17 PM
5

You're right, they should be culled and their valuable organs extracted. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 01:17 AM
3

Which was always the case right? Young men would go and work and basically be 30 and established in their career before they would have a 20 year old (or younger) bride.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 10:51 PM
-1

Sure, which means that work can't be as oppressive or demanding as it otherwise would be. But an inordinate number of people volunteer at things, so doing work even though you don't get paid still works for a lot of people. It just means that if there's a really shit job it's either not going to get done or the compensation will be commensurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 10:24 PM
3

The amount of single men and women in their 20's and 30's is very high. . Surely that varies over time right? I think that since say 1960, the age at which kids are considered 'adults' has been steadily rising, right? Back then it was pretty common for teenagers to leave home once they finished secondary school, but now we don't really think of kids as being independant adults until they have finished tertiary schooling. So it makes sense to me for the average marriage age etc to happen later to…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 09:04 PM
6

I think that two incomes is a given. Relationships and monogamy are a given. Marriage is not a given. I think it will continue to decline as society becomes increasingly more secular.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 08:34 PM
13

The opposite will happen. Because lower salaries will mean that that 'one provider, one homemaker' pair bonds represented by marriage will become a historical fantasy and not something attainable in the real world. Humans will remain serial monogamists, but not marriage centric.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 08:28 PM
20

I think that UBI should be a thing and that one of the problems UBI would solve is this. Barring UBI, I think that couples should have shared bank accounts. You are both expending effort for something larger than yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 08:25 PM
10

I think that conflating 'women' and 'instagram thirst traps' is a mistake. It's equivalent to conflating 'men' with 'rapists'.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 08:21 PM
–

I remember reading that about 15 years ago, and do kinda avoid eating unfermented soy, but now I'm a little skeptical of the claim. Low testosterone men are still valid men though.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:59 PM
–

There's some kind of urban myth that eating lots of soy reduced testosterone levels, so calling someone a soy boy is akin to telling them they are low test and unmasculine. So it's just BS then? Since there isn't one right way to be a man. A simp is someone that puts women on a pedestal and thinks women can do no wrong. Very similar to a white knight. Thanks, that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:56 PM
–

men changing a law regarding women didn’t mean they did the work to change societal stigma But isn't that what men are doing now? Being vocal about inequalities men face despite opposition? Yes so I would hope men are being encouraged to enter those fields and care and have passion for people oriented jobs. I think that there's quite the imbalance in men in teaching positions, particularly pre-school teachers. Policies I think are like giant ships, even once you change the rudder it takes a long…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:32 PM
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But it’s not something men have really tried as a whole. Nope, I think it's mostly organic and small scale. But there are things like mens shed movements etc which I think are trying to do that. But it can’t be the responsibility of women. Well, yes and no. Let's look back to say 1960 when women faced real discrimination in the workplace. I think that there were a significant number of men who supported equality for women then. Imagine if instead there weren't, and instead the broad male consens…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:04 PM
–

Most of the things men complain about on this sub (halo effect) applies to literally everyone, and vice versa for women when they complain. I think that to an extent that's true, but then when it's framed as a toxic thing that WOMEN do, that feels hypocritical and disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 08:51 PM
–

So what’s the difference between highlighting actual problems one faces and having a victim mentality? I very broadly agree with this. It should be possible for people to raise issues of systemic inequality and fight to have them addressed without having that victim mentality. That said, I think that the way meat brains work is that we almost REQUIRE that mentality to create tribal bonds (because you then have both and in group and an out group that is vilified). Do feminists have a massive vict…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 08:49 PM
–

that's not why men are called soy boys and simps... do you even know what those words mean? I don't really. I'm aware that they are pejoratives but not what kind of insult they mean. Could you please explain them to me? At a guess I's think 'soy boy' is just some sort of vegan activist type? And simp is someone who drinks the koolaide on radfem feminism?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 08:46 PM
–

So many women claim they want a guy who is “emotionally unavailable” which is ironic given that 90% of women lack even the most basic form of empathy. I think you mean to say 'emotionally available'? Men are 10 times more empathetic than women. This is rubbish. Everyone can see the world from their own perspective best, but that doesn't mean that the most limited person who is only aware of their own perspective existing is the right one. Other people are just as valid as you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 08:43 PM
–

Why isn’t an option for men to be kind to each other and support each other This is the boat I'm in. That said, if you accept as a thesis the idea that men are kind of all emotionally stunted, it's really had for two different emotionally stunted people to help each other heal.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 08:42 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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