TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

curtdogg47 Archive

View 1 posts and 112 comments by curtdogg47 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

curtdogg47/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 06:02 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

I don’t know that there are any divorce laws surrounding pets. You should probably check into that. But I do know having two dogs myself, that if they have been together a long time. It’s really hard on them to split them up. Pretty have to keep them together. If there are no laws take your dogs and go! And I wouldn’t offer her a dog.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 02:04 PM
5

Once I moved past the hurt! Life has been awesome!
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 08:07 PM
4

My ex wife of 13 years cheated twice then asked for a divorce. I said yes to it and told her to go get the papers fill them out and give them to me. Well about 6 months later after nothing from her, I drove an hour to court got the papers and filled them out and gave them to her. I just got tired of waiting!
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 06:56 PM
7

Fresh out of my divorce I instantly found a new woman that was pretty much the same person as my ex wife. Took me a couple of months to put it together and see it, and when it did click for me, I ended the relationship! It’s easy to slip back into a familiar feeling situation! It happens, just learn to recognize it, and then get out of it! Also people not being available without a clear explanation on why are usually up to some shady shit. I have 3 kids so there are some nights I am not availabl…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 12:27 PM
4

Yeah my ex used text or try and call a lot early on when she knew I was out with a woman. Once she got a BF she couldn’t care less about what I was doing!
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 12:29 AM
4

You might ask your son, how he would like to decorate. I did that with my boys. We went and got posters, and I let them pick paint. They needed new bedding so I let them pick that out to. There rooms are there spaces so letting them help make it there space is both fun for them and for you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 09:12 PM
5

This is a very interesting question! I definitely didn’t to my best while married. I did grow and learn in the process of trying to save my marriage. My ex is the same person she was then as she is today. I was blinded to seeing her for who she is. I would say absolutely no chance in hell I would remarry her. However my 3 amazing boys, I wouldn’t ever want a life without them. So knowing the kids I would have with her, going back I probably would. At the same time, who I am today, the man I have…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 01:14 PM
1

If you are divorcing then just let it go. Not worth you wasting any time or energy on it. My ex told she wanted to be single. But was out there dating. So was I, but I was also very clear about my intentions when she said she wanted a divorce. At the same time she lied and hid things while we were married why would I expect anything different after. I feel I had to sit down one day and ask myself do I fucking care what she is doing? Because it was messing with me a bit. When I answered that with…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 09:30 PM
4

Life will get better! One thing that helped me was to start making my home about me. The day she moved out. All the family pictures came down! Any decorations she left right in the garbage! In less than 24 hours nothing of her was in the house. Then I went out the garage where my stuff had been for years, and began putting my things up! Old signs and posters, my beer mirrors! I rearranged furniture and slowly made my home about me!
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 12:37 PM
1

So for me, my ex cheated two times I know of and then said she wanted a divorce. When it came to telling the kids. Our therapist we were talking to asked how we were going to tell the kids. I said there is no we, she wants the Divorce so she can tell me and the kids. I also said, she needed a plan of where she going to live first, and when she was going to move out. Because I didn’t want the kids to think I was just giving her the boot. I felt the kids would need a pretty clear path laid out for…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 09:37 PM
7

Man it’s ok to be angry! we all were angry at one time! At some point you have to let go! Recognize that it’s all the past and there is nothing you can do to change it. Letting go of the anger is never about being ok with the shit someone did to us! Letting go of the anger is about freeing ourselves to move past the anger and to move forward towards building a better life!
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 03:46 AM
8

I saw this meme that said. If you are having a hard time, just remember there is someone out there meeting your ex and thinking they found some special! I kept it on my phone because it always made me laugh and helped me through those tough moments., To remember I am so much better off without her in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 10:15 PM
2

I’d move on.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 02:32 AM
7

I still have a great relationship with my ex in-laws. I think it makes the new husband a little jealous how well I get along with them. And I’m still pretty close with both the ex brother in laws to. At the end of the day, I wasn’t the one that went out and cheated or the one that chose to get divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 10:08 PM
5

My ex wife cheated on me and then asked for a divorce. While we were meeting with our therapist for the last time together. The therapist asked how we were going to tell the kids. I said what we? There’s no fucking we anymore. She wants the divorce, I don’t. She can tell me and the kids she’s leaving! Which to my surprise she agreed to! And so me and the kids sat on the couch at home together and there mom stood there trying to explain what was happening and that she wasn’t going to be married t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 02:02 AM
2

I think you have a pretty good picture of the life she wants. You take on her debt, she spends your money, you will be constantly stressed all the time while she goes about her day care free! You need to set some clear boundaries with her regarding finances and working. See how that conversation goes! If she’s not going to get a free ride from you she may show that she is not the person you thought she was! Your concerns are valid and you are not overacting or self sabotaging! Lean into this, to…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 12:34 PM
1

Have you thought about doing couples therapy, and maybe find a dedicated sex therapist for couples. Maybe if she open to it. Go to a few of them find one she feels comfortable with. You know what you want, but she is obviously not clear. I tried everything I could to save my marriage worked my ass off for it. I did end up getting divorced my ex decided that was what she wanted. Also she never put in the work like I did. Just went through the motions, while she was cheating on me. When it did end…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 11:00 PM
1

It will take some time! But Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Relax and have fun! I remember when I got back out there and it was very quick. About 2 maybe 3 weeks after my ex said she wanted a divorce. I was just looking to have fun, experience and meet new women. Hopefully fuck to! I did a bit of that! lol! Mostly I just enjoyed myself, enjoyed getting to know them. It had been 13 years since I had been in the dating game. So naturally I was rusty, at the same time I had a lot of confid…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 11:30 PM
2

I always have them Wednesday and Thursday There mom Monday and Tuesday then we rotate weekends. Which works for us and the kids. Also we live 15 minutes apart. There’s no right parenting schedule! Only what works for the parents and most importantly what works for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 03:02 AM
7

Yeah that’s kinda fucked up for him to do! If there is one thing I can appreciate about my ex’s new husband. He does an amazing job at leaving the co parenting and kids business strictly between me and my ex. I will say he is supportive of my kids, he shows up to there games some. And for the most part seems like a stand up guy!
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 12:53 PM
5

I wouldn’t say it’s a friendship but I do get along with my ex now. It’s been almost 6 years post divorce. She had this idea that we would be friends after divorce. What she really wanted was the ability to still influence me and my life. And be in control. It took a major blow out one day where I had to lay it down that 1. I don’t like you for the shit you did! ( cheating and then destroying this family) 2. You chose to leave and so you have zero say in what I do, and what happens at my house. …
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 03:01 PM
2

This was a game my ex and me played. Shes schedule kids appointments on my days. I’d take them and then schedule the next appointment on her days. lol.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 01:46 PM
7

Now I just let go! And it’s been a year or two since I experienced this. It happened quite a bit at first after the divorce that she wanted. Once I realized it was no longer my problem I just ignored them, unless I was in the mood to amuse myself then I would really set her off lol. Just remember her issues are no longer your problem!
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 02:25 AM
14

Mine left because she wanted someone with more money. She had an idea and vision for the life she wanted, also refused to share that vision at any point in our 13 years together! I was a construction worker when she met me and we got together, I made good money not her kind of money apparently. Economy got bad and I took a government job because that was what was available it was less money. She quit working right after we got married! Guess I should have seen it then. But I didn’t. My family ha…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 06:03 PM
1

Go to work on you! Hang in there! It’s dark today, if you can consistently take care of you, eventually you will see a light!
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 08:17 PM
2

The only one that is a fool! Is the one that thinks she has every one else fooled! You don’t need to out her! She will eventually out herself! And trust me when that happens you will be so glad you didn’t! Because then the only person she will have to blame is herself for being a piece of shit! What I found enjoyable was watching my ex scrambling to blame someone else! And then totally abandoning the people who figured her out! And then starting over with new friends and repeating the cycle! It’…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 12:46 PM
3

If you want the relationship and marriage, You fight for it until they choose which way they are going! When she says out loud to you I want a divorce! That’s when you stop. When my ex and me were trying to figure things out. I told her whatever you decide I am going to hold you to it. But you must make a choice for you about what you are committed to doing. And I worked my ass off to try and make our relationship better! The day she said I want a divorce is the day I moved on to putting all tha…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 07:55 PM
1

I’m pretty much honest about it. And have always been. There’s pretty much as many people getting divorced as are not these days. Which is sad. I don’t have a problem with sharing exactly what happened depending on who’s asking of course. You want the response to be appropriate for the audience.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 02:43 AM
3

There’s nothing wrong with getting out there and meeting someone and having a hookup.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 12:44 AM
1

I don’t think my standards for looks really went up. What went up for me, was my standards for how I would let a woman treat me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 12:19 AM
2

My ex and I have a formal parenting plan, we had to have a plan in our divorce paperwork. But We do keep it pretty flexible and easy between us. It’s good to have something formal with court! And good to protect yourself!
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 04:06 AM
3

5 years was a huge transitional moment for me! Where I really had let it all go. If you were betrayed like I was I feel I’m always going to have tinge of anger towards the ex. How much that anger interferes with my life is the difference today. It’s almost non existent, and it no longer impacts me or my life. It’s just there. The guy my ex married after me was really the guy she should have been with all along. They are both all about money, and about material things, superficial as fuck and all…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 03:56 AM
2

My parents didn’t get it! The idea of divorce just doesn’t make sense to them. They are also very religious. Telling them was tough and also the best thing I did. Because it allowed them to be there for me. I remember both my mom and my dad saying we don’t know how we can help you, but we will do anything we can to support you. And that meant so much to me!
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 02:42 AM
1

Get a sweet car bed! 😂😂😂 Just kidding! I still have a king bed! And I got a bed frame that probably looks like it came from a porn movie! It was free! Added some zebra striped curtains to the windows to complete the look. When I bring women home it’s a great conversation starter! 😂😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 12:50 PM
1

Write the letter, but you don’t need to give it to them. She doesn’t care about you are what she’s done to you. If she cared about you she would have made different choices. Putting your feelings out and writing them down is a powerful way to get the pain out. In the early months of my divorce I did this a lot! I also have kids and had to co parent. So this practice really helped me to be in control of my emotions when I had to deal with my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 12:46 PM
6

When a woman chooses to leave a man! She is no longer under that man’s care or protection! By all means protect your kids, care for your kids! From this point forward her and all her problems are no longer your concern! And just remember she chose this! She chose to spit in your face, she said no to your love, your care and your connection! Took me a little bit to understand this, I kept wanting to be there, and care and protect. Getting to a point where I could realize she was no longer my prob…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 02:51 PM
2

I feel where you were at! Was there at one time myself. As time passes you will be able to see the marriage for what it really was! Hang in there my man!
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:22 AM
5

You are Not a failure at all. Give yourself a lot of grace through this time! It sucks now but will get better!
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 08:13 PM
8

Yes I didn’t want to talk or look at my ex! Especially for the first couple of years. It’s been almost 6 years and now it’s not bad at all! It took sometime to move past the sting of betrayal she left me with!
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 03:50 PM
4

Take time work on you, allow yourself to heal, and as you feel ready test the waters of dating! There’s nothing wrong with having a date or two and learning if you are in fact ready. I think any man that’s been divorced felt like damage goods or we would never find something like we once had. Over time you begin to see the marriage for what it was. And you start to realize that it maybe wasn’t as great as we might have thought.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 01:19 PM
3

I had to give my ex wife a ride home from the bar a couple of times So weird and awkward! But the time I had to pick my then girlfriend and my ex up from the bar. Total random occurrence they were both there at the same time. Really Due to cross overs in mutual friend groups. And I wasn’t expecting to have to drive my ex wife home to! So that pissed me off she jumped in the truck to. My then girlfriend actually played it pretty cool. I lsort of lost my shit on my ex. Thankfully it was only a 10 …
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 03:05 AM
2

It sucks, but just know it’s a short term thing. You will get through it. During the 3 months I had to go through this, I just took the kids fishing a lot. It was Covid to so that’s about all we could do. There mom not doing things with me and the kids was pretty normal. So they don’t notice a difference.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 07:35 PM
1

Hinge, bumble, Facebook Dating. I probably did the best most recently with Facebook and it’s free.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 07:28 PM
1

I used dating apps. But the 3 year relationship I had was with a woman I knew and we were at some mutual friend’s house one night and started talking and just kept talking. My current GF met through an App. I don’t go to bars, tried it one night and was like 20 years older than everyone in there. Also I live in an area that’s always had more men than women. So on apps I look outside my area.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 03:06 PM
1

I am 46 and 3 boys 12,14 and 16. When I got divorced they were 6, 8, and 10 and I was 40. I have Zero sexual jealousy towards the ex. For me The best sex I have had came after the divorce with the women I have slept with since. I kinda became a bit of a man whore once she said she wanted out. Then had a brief STD scare, but after a test I was clean and so I dialed it back, and started looking for a relationship not just sex. You can find love again, you will find great sex again. Just make sure …
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 01:59 PM
1

Sorry man, been a busy week. As for my situation it’s been nearly six years and in that time I had one amazing relationship that lasted 3.5 years. Honestly we both were fresh out of divorces. And the big difference was I kept working on me. And she just got lost in the new love and eventually the work she wasnt doing caught up to her and our relationship was the cost of it. In that time we shared I really created quite possibly the most amazing relationship I have ever shared with a woman. All t…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 04:19 AM
6

No you aren’t being unreasonable!
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 09:41 PM
4

I was in a similar place as you. Wanted to work things out after my ex cheated twice. I didn’t want to break apart my family. After the second time, she said she wanted a divorce! At that point, I closed the door to ever letting her back in my life. And I moved forward with my life and have never once looked back.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 03:11 AM
2

Time wise sometimes it’s a quick 20minutes. Sometimes times much longer.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 06:35 PM
2

This was my approach, and I created my own template in grid diary. The app comes with some good templates built into it. Time I spend, it depends. Around and After my divorce, I probably spent a few hours most days journaling. Trying to work things out in my head. Today 6 years post divorce I try and journal a few times during the week. Depends on how I am doing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 02:06 PM
2

I follow this sort of formula with my journal. I right my thoughts and whatever it is I am feeling. Sort just get everything out of my head. Second part is I read back over everything and then start writing what I feel is being revealed to me from my thoughts. Things I am seeing about myself, the situation I am in or maybe things I want to work on. Third part, What is a life lesson I am seeing or feel is being revealed from my journal entry. I use an app called grid diary which has some great bu…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 02:26 PM
11

She has a story about why being with you isn’t what she wants, isn’t right for her, and the best thing for her was to leave. And as I have learned you don’t win out against a woman’s story. Once they create the story about leaving, and build up the supporting pieces either true or false to support there story, nothing a man can do or say will change there mind. You could have done everything right, you could have changed and grown, and you could have given her everything she wanted and if she wa…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 02:00 PM
1

I feel your frustration! My ex left a truck load of her shit at the house after she moved out. Finally after a year I loaded it in my truck and dumped it off in the drive way of her new husbands place! You might just get a buddy and go drop it off!
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 12:18 AM
5

My ex was really bad at over stepping boundaries, seemed like if I needed a scheduled change for a night or something. She’d try and screw me over on the schedule, by making me take the kids more! Joke was on her because I loved having more time with the kids! She also would call and demand schedule changes when she knew I was dating, to try and disrupt that. She’d call when she knew I was out with someone to try and talk about the kids stuff. Basically she was using the kids as a way to try and…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 01:38 AM
2

I had one buddy, we both actually went through divorce at the same time! He lives on the east coast and I am in the west but we talked a lot. I was very lucky to have him because most of my friends close by didn’t reach out much. If I called they would talk or hangout. I had to do the work there. And that I think is part of it, don’t be afraid to reach out, and invite people to hangout!
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 01:34 PM
3

Honestly I’m a bit of a loner! So I went back to just enjoying my time alone when the kids are with their mom! All my buddies are either still married or moved away! Granted we all stay in touch, getting to hangout is tough. UFC is kind of my big social event. I usually host since I’m the single guy with my own place. And one of those events a month is plenty of social time for me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 10:11 PM
2

Oh my ex wife spun a master piece of lies, and stories to convince herself and the world around her that she made all the right decisions! And even the kids we share together don’t believe her crap! Actually in our community she’s the only one that does!😂😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 01:03 AM
11

The chances she will cheat again are very high!
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 12:54 AM
2

If you are on speaking terms, I recommend a phone call. As texts leave the problem of tone and meaning being taken the wrong way. Something simple can blow up via text.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 05:07 PM
3

We do 2-2-5-5. Kids are with their mom Monday and Tuesdays. Me Wednesday and Thursday and then alternate weekend. Which works well for me and the kids. I think your points about work and needing to travel for work are valid. You still have to provide for the kids and yourself, so the parenting schedule needs to account for that. Also Have you talked with your work about your situation? I remember when my ex told me she wanted a divorce. I went in and sat down with my boss. I hate bringing my per…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 01:40 AM
2

The pain just takes time to fade away, and over time it will fade! Never as fast as any of us would prefer! I was married 13 years, ex cheated and the wanted a divorce. My 5th year after divorce was when I really started feeling a huge difference in my life! The anger and the pain was very much gone from me! Every so often my ex would trigger the fuck out of me, and it would bring the anger back for a bit. Today Even her ability to trigger me is fading now in my 6th year after divorce! Hang in t…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 01:22 AM
2

It was so obvious why those dudes were back there though half the time they weren’t even keeping up with the class to busy staring! 🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 11:49 PM
12

I remember these dudes at my gym would always do group fitness classes which were mostly women. They always were at the back of the class obviously checking out the ladies. One morning I stuck my head in the class from the weight room and go wow, you bros have a great view! I think those guys quit the class and found a new gym because I never saw them again after that! 🤣🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 11:15 PM
3

I do something similar. The mom has the kids on Monday and Tuesday. I have them Wednesday and Thursdays. Then we rotate weekends. We live close to each other so it’s a fairly easy swap and transition. Reading your post made realize how glad I am we were able to do this without the courts involved. We had a parenting plan similar to what we do, in our paper work. Honestly it’s really up to the kids where they want to be and we both agreed to make that work. Because sometimes they want extra time …
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 09:38 PM
6

Better yourself! Get some therapy! Find and create joy and happiness in your life! And best of all know the more joy and happiness you find, that will always serve as a glowing reminder to her that she was the problem! I can see that my happiness each day pisses my ex off! The relationship I have with the kids pisses her off! She went out found a new guy with way more money, they travel all the time and have big fancy things! The fact that I am so happy without her, that I don’t show any jealous…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 02:15 PM
3

It can resolve if he wants to resolve it! I have been divorced for over 5 years and I have had two relationships in that time and a lot of dating around to. One relationship that was everything I wanted for a relationship and love it lasted 3.5 years. But it started very soon after my ex left, actually we both were fresh out of marriage when it started. Then I took a break for a year dated around and now I am in one that just started 3 months ago and it’s even better so far! As a cheated on then…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 03:36 PM
1

The Pain sucks! Just remember drugs and alcohol won’t solve or fix the pain. Yes they can make you feel better for a moment. And to be honest when I was going through my divorce and healing after there were some nights I just didn’t want to feel the pain. So I got stoned or drunk. I Always did so knowing tomorrow I had to pick back up the pain and get back to healing! Looking back those nights were I smoked weed and had few beers and allowed my mind to be shut off for a few hours where in away a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:55 PM
1

Cutting those emotional connections to someone is so hard! Takes so much time, to let them go and allow ourselves to be free of a person we once loved.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:47 PM
3

I have Christmas Eve alone and I love it! It’s like a second birthday for me! I just do what I want to do, and enjoy not having to do all the pre Christmas BS! I got my takeout for dinner and nice bottle of wine! And I’ll kick back and enjoy some favorite movies and relax!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 08:19 PM
4

My ex wife spent every dime we had! When she left with all her shit! The house was pretty much empty! I was looking around going dam I need to get some stuff! lol!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 02:29 PM
2

Make Christmas about you! I don’t have my kids on Christmas Eve, and Christmas Eve for the last 6 years has been all about me. This morning I’m out and about early having a great McDonalds breakfast enjoying the free WiFi. Later I’ll pick up take out, come home with a good bottle of wine. Watch my favorite movies and totally relax. Other years I have gone out for hikes, or fishing if the weather is nice. Usually get me a special gift. Today is my day!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 02:27 PM
3

Id do as much prep before saying a word about it! Get paperwork ready, maybe meet with a lawyer so you know and understand the road ahead and are prepared! As the man you are the one that gets fucked hard in divorce, so the more prepared you are before telling her the better.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 12:56 PM
2

First Relationship app. Second met through friends. Casual dating all on apps And current new relationship met through apps.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 11:17 PM
11

First relationship I found a bit of a crazy woman, sex was amazing though and she was fun! She just was very manipulative! Second: was an amazing 3.5 year relationship that was everything I knew wanted, also taught me about a few things I didn’t realize were important to me in a relationship that weren’t present in a relationship with this woman. Then I just dated around casually for a bit. And now I’m in a new relationship for the last 3 months, and this one feels like I have all pieces I want …
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 03:59 AM
5

I think I hated Christmas more when I was married! Watching my ex over spend on shit the kids didn’t want or need, plus excessive new decorations every year ! Her spending all her time a Christmas parties all week prior to Christmas. It was the worst! The part I hate now is I don’t get to have my boys, I have to share the time with her. And that sucks!
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 01:34 AM
1

Therapy is a great place to get it out! Also as someone mentioned writing it out, or writing it as a letter. In the first year after my divorce I wrote tons of letters, expressing my rage, my hurt and my hatred of her. With each letter the anger seemed to stay on the paper and left me slowly. 5 years later do I still hate my ex, I most definitely do. She was a selfish piece of shit that destroyed the family we created to serve only herself desires. Today It’s just something that is there and wil…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 03:56 AM
2

That a shitty and hard situation you are in. I still had to live with my ex wife for almost 3 months after she said she wanted a divorce and I agreed to it. It was a very weird and awkward time. She had to go find a new place. As my family owned our house. Since we had 3 kids I didn’t want to just kick there mom to the curb, although I would have like to. It was weird time. Things she never did while we were married much like cleaning and cooking, she did a lot of. She was extra nice most of the…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 01:34 AM
1

It does get easier. Just remember you are going for the kids. I had to tell myself that a lot, at first. Because my hatred of my ex and what she did and her choice to leave. Made it hard to go to the kids things at times. Don’t know what your situation is. For me I still have a great relationship with my ex in laws. All of them actually. I think my ex has the more challenging relationship with her own family. Generally at first I kept my distance. At sporting events I would never sit next to her…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 03:30 AM
7

It really just takes time. Over time it will fade. How much time is dependent on each person. It took me about 2 months after 13 years of marriage. I also enjoy solitude. I have to remind myself to go out and be social. So while there were some hard nights at first, I settled back enjoying my alone time pretty quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 11:52 PM
1

It’s a tough spot you are in. And I remember the first time I found out my ex was cheating. And I got the whole song and dance about wanting to fix our marriage. So I said yes let’s do that. But Also I gave her an out, and said I’d rather end things than be put through the cheating experience again. The second time she got caught was by the others guy wife. And I was like I’m not going anywhere, you decide what it is you want! I knew she was wanting me to end it, because she already looked like …
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 04:34 AM
1

Thanks for reading man! I was 28 when I got married. I don’t think I was ever checked out of the marriage. Just didn’t understand how to do marriage, or how to build a sustainable relationship. At least for the first 4-5 years. At that point I couldn’t understand why anyone would get married. I figured there had to be a better way! We got together more as just always being the single people at parties with mutual friends. And I think not wanting to be alone was part of it for me. And for her I t…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 04:17 AM
17

It used to trigger me to when I saw my ex with her new guy now husband. Over the years I look at that poor bastard she’s with and almost feel sorry for him. Because she is sucking the life and money out of him. And I just smile and laugh inside and go oh shit that sad man over there used to be me!
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 12:55 AM
2

If you are serious about not wanting out. Then you have to draw a line with her. And get a solid plan on how you both are going to change the relationship. However once someone has cheated I believe that the chances are insanely high they will again. And she’s already on to number two. So the chances she would ever stop doing it to you, are very low. Your best bet is to like others have mentioned is to gather evidence. Meet with an attorney at some point soon and start figuring your way out of t…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 12:53 AM
2

If you both can do it without lawyers and amicably do it that way! Lawyers make more if they can drag it out longer. Also if you can end it well together it will be better than a long drawn out fight. I don’t know about Texas but in Colorado my ex and I were able to do it all on our own.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 02:53 AM
3

It’s actually good to consider the what ifs. Learning from what you did do and where that led and considering what you will do down the road if you found yourself feeling or being in a situation that feels the same. Or better yet, what you will do in the future to hopefully prevent ending up where you did! I know when my marriage ended. I spent some time really seeing all the things I could have done differently and even what she could have done. I spent time considering actions and choices I ma…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 02:40 AM
2

For me two years things got so much better. At 5 years it was like I didn’t even remember the pain. And life was full and bright. It’s all about what you do each day to heal you. And start building your new life. Two years is a great mark, where things really look up! Between 2-5 years I was so busy enjoying life again and at that 5 year mark I was free!
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 10:47 PM
13

If you got kids like I do with my ex wife. You are unfortunately stuck dealing with her. Although thankfully my ex absolutely does not give a shit about what I do. She got a new guy who makes way more money than me. And she so busy showing off her new life that what I do and who I date is not something she concerns herself with. Also she cheated on me, and then decided she wanted a divorce. So she has been pretty busy trying to show the world it was worth it and she’s not a piece of shit. At the…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 09:49 PM
1

There’s always the what could have been! And then there is the reality of what it was! While it is easy to find ourselves in the trap of wondering how things could have be different. The key that has always helped me is to remember what the reality of how things really were. That usually snaps me back. Also it’s important to learn the from the past, otherwise we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes in a future relationship. So it’s not all bad to occasionally look at how this past relationship…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 02:00 AM
12

I don’t like the kids being gone when they are at there moms house. That’s the worst part for me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 03:43 AM
7

There’s nothing wrong with getting out there and hooking up. I started doing it pretty soon about 2 weeks, after my ex said she wanted a divorce. But Be clear about what you want! You don’t want to find yourself in a new relationship. That was my first mistake, I wasnt clear about just wanting to hook up. Then pretty quickly I learned hook ups were not for me! Secondly, make sure you are consistent in working on you and taking care of yourself. Hookups are fun, meeting people is fun to. Always r…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 03:39 AM
19

There just no accountability for women! They leave they get money, often times the house. With fully set up life and freedom what is there reason for staying. While men who showed up get fucked over by a system that is rigged for women, men who were willing to work things out, get zero credit for that. Men who are great fathers end up paying for two house holds. And then my favorite women have the stupidity to be asking where are all the good men at?
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 06:01 PM
13

Being cheated on and then eventually left hurts! Having your family broken apart by someone who put themselves and their desires ahead of our kids sucks. What I see now is just how much I was giving for nothing in return. How hard I tried and was met with no effort on her part. And just how mean and miserable a person she is. And my favorite is seeing her with her new husband and looking in that poor man’s eyes and seeing who I was at one time. The life being slowly sucked from him. And I go oh …
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 04:07 AM
7

Of course man! All great fathers worry about there kids! And going through my divorce and still today when they aren’t with me and at their moms, I worry about them. It’s been hard on them. You let them know you love them. And you are always there for them.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 01:26 AM
2

The apps worked great for me. Hookups won’t get you over the pain! But they are still fun for a bit! Just work on you mostly and if you feel like getting out there and meeting women go for it!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 03:42 AM
16

If she doesn’t like it. Let her move out! Not your problem anymore what she wants!
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 09:52 PM
6

Been through something similar to you! I caught my ex wife cheating once before. We have 3 boys and I didn’t want to destroy my family and wanted to work it out and see if we could save our marriage. Long story short I was an idiot for believing she would change. Two years later the guy who she was fucking, his wife caught them. And I did not want to save our marriage anymore. However I also didn’t want to give her an easy out because no one would blame me for divorcing her. I wanted her to choo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 03:42 PM
1

I always have Christmas Eve alone. And I usually just have a night for me. I usually cook a good meal, or get take out, and I get snacks. And just chill out watch movies I like, maybe play some video games things I enjoy. What ever is enjoyable to you around your home or area. Just do something fun, special and enjoyable for you. Make the time about taking care of you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 12:59 AM
2

I did! It affected my schedule mostly! Also I didn’t want them to think if my normal productivity was down it was because I slacking off or didn’t like my job anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 09:15 PM
3

When you feel ready, then it’s time. It’s different for everyone. Something I learned to is that getting out there and meeting people and dating will also help you to see areas you have over looked, that still need growth. There is only so much work you can do alone. And that is important work to do. There are things you cant see alone working on yourself, that will come to light when you start meeting people and dating.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 08:55 PM
3

I had some success! And some not interested because I was not officially divorced yet. For a bit of a timeframe, I started dating after a short hooking up phase, and that started about two weeks after my Ex said she wanted a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 10:20 PM
0

Man, I told my ex you want out you go file! Fill it out and I’ll sign it! And after 6months of waiting I found myself driving to the court to file! And I filled out the paperwork. So ridiculous! But what did I expect from someone who for 13 years never did what they said they would! So dumb! But I have been and loving life for the past 5 years and that’s all I care about!
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 07:30 PM
1

I worked out a lot to! I’m not much for going to a gym. But bought some dumbbells and there are plenty of free workouts online. And for a long time, I’d just come home every night and do a 30-45min workout! Makes you feel great! Then dinner and before I knew it was ready for bed. Weekends alone are bit more challenging as there is a lot of time fill! Usually did a walk in the morning, met up with friends, or did little projects around the house to continue the process of erasing the ex! You’d be…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 07:26 PM
2

Honestly it’s really about time passing that lets the pain fade away. There were restaurants I didn’t visit for over a year. Food I didn’t eat for long time to. First Christmas actually went really well for me! Because I planned a whole Christmas Eve for myself. Got some good takeout, tasty snacks, I’m a bit of gamer. So just had night all about me! Which has turned into a bit of a favorite ritual for me! And I think that is part of the process is creating new memories, routines, rituals that yo…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 07:00 PM
2

Get rid of things at pace you are comfortable with it. It’s sort of a mourning and letting go phase of life. I was pissed the day she said she wanted a divorce. I deleted everything from my phone that night. Clearing out the house was a bit slower process, started in the bedroom and slowly made my way through the home room by room. And cleaned it of her presences in my life. When a room felt clear I moved on! My hippy aunt came over and burned sage in my home to. I didn’t care for the idea but s…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 11:25 PM
4

We used to do shared Christmas and Birthdays. After the first Christmas, I said no more! And after a few birthdays I said no more of those either. And I hated being around her and still do. We just worked out a schedule for it. Kids are with her Christmas Eve, they do Christmas morning with her and then I pick them. My kids know I don’t like being around their mom, and know she was the one that left and Wanted a divorce. Some people can split and still do things as a family and I think that is a…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 10:29 PM
3

Honestly, I am 46 and share some of your struggles. Hey a lot of women out there and many guys are in the same situation! Most of us been through a Divorce some a couple of times. No shame in your financial situation, or the struggle you are in. Most you will meet have been through it, or are still going through the healing. All of us are out there trying to rebuild. Finding confidence in yourself again after divorce is a tough battle! Hang in there!
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:21 AM
1

I didn’t hide it from people that know me, also don’t go post on Social Media, that just makes you look lame! And my divorce was not mutual, and in a small town where we both grew up, so I’m pretty sure more people than me knew what she was up to. Also when it did come out it spread around like a wild fire. People talk. And the guys wife who my ex was banging found out and it was pretty messy. Honestly my ex was very upset when I was honest with people about what happened! In her mind her cheati…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 09:58 PM
2

I went straight to working on me! Been working on me just over 5 years now. I have dated and had fun but mostly, worked on me! A lot of journaling has been a great way for me to work on my pain, and anger. As well as trying to hit the gym to. For me it was at the beginning of this year and the start of my 5th year after divorce that I really noticed the change. It was about March this year when I realized I hadn’t been waking up angry or sad most days. I was waking up happy and feeling awesome. …
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 03:17 PM
5

You got to open up! Got to share to what’s happening! Call your friends, meet up for a beer, a round of golf or whatever you and your buddies do! And talk about things. I had to build a support group with my buddies going through my divorce! No one was calling me, I had to reach out and man I got so much support! Guys will stand with there brothers, we just don’t always ask what’s going on with each other, it’s not in our nature! If a man and brother ask for help we show up!
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 03:07 PM
3

It happened to me twice. First time it took me 4 weeks to move past the hurt and shock. And about 2 after months to move past it. Second time a week I was done! But We had 3 kids so I agreed to give it 3 months to see if we had anything left at all. That hurt and sucked. Over now and moved on to better things and trying to take care of our kids as best we can together.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 11:02 PM
1

It can be legitimate. I think it’s worth it for you to communicate what you want and desire in a partner and for a marriage. If she rejects it all, then moving forward to divorce might be the best path forward. Just remember Divorce is costly in so many ways! I definitely fought so hard for my marriage before it finally ended in Divorce. Wasn’t my choice to end it. But I definitely gave it my all to change that course. It was worth it for me because when it did end, I left it know I did everythi…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 06:46 PM
1

You aren’t crazy. My ex went and got married! I found about it through my kids. It was quite disrespectful of her. I was pretty pissed off about. Along with many other things that she didn’t bother to share a long the way. Like taking the kids for sleep overs at his house while they were dating. A lot of information that should have been shared but wasn’t. What I could never get her to understand was that while I don’t give a shit about what she does with her life. The importance of communicatio…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 03:03 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter